Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.

PLEASE NOTE: I'm pretending that Melanie doesn't exist. It really was Sam that went on that one date with Freddie, not Melanie.

I went through school today basically without a care of what people were thinking about me. I got some looks, so sometimes I just smiled back and waved.

Freddie planned something for us after school. I didn't know what, but it was probably cheesy. But Freddie always had a way of turning cheesy into romantic.

I saw Freddie talking to his friend… maybe it was Aaron. They were in the AV club together, so they're o.k. friends. Sometimes Freddie complains though, about something he does that messes something else up, and I try my best to look interested in what he's telling me.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and I was about to walk over when I saw Freddie glare at Aaron. I wonder what that about.

I wasn't in a good hearing position, especially when I'm in a hall filled with people.

I never saw Freddie ever even shove someone, so I guess he was pretty mad. Aaron shoved back, probably saying some comeback, so Freddie pushed back harder.

Why was I still standing here? I walked up closer to Freddie.

"Freddie," I said, "what are you doing?

"Just, Sam, talk to Carly or someone." He said not looking at me.

Freddie punched Aaron in the gut.

I looked up to Freddie, surprised.

He looked at me with sorry eyes, "Sam, just go talk to Carly. I don't want you to get involved."

Before I even thought about saying anything, Aaron managed to get back up to his feet and said, "Yeah, if you get involved in this, it might end up hurting the baby!" He said and laughed. Nobody around him dared to laugh with him; a lot of them just looked at me, and then my stomach, then back to Freddie and Aaron.

My mouth was wide open, but I closed it when Freddie pushed Aaron to the ground and punched him. I knew what the fight was about now.

"Freddie, stop. It doesn't matter, I told you. I don't care, it's not even true." I inched closer. Aaron laughed.

Freddie looked at me for a second before getting punched in the face.

I managed not to jump in and pound Aaron. I could do it, and win, but I know better. It would embarrass Freddie. He doesn't need his girlfriend to fight his battles.

Freddie tackled him and punched him, before standing up.

Aaron was holding his head on the ground for a few moments, and Freddie took my hand and walked away with me. He kept glancing back.

He looked ashamed.

None of us said anything until after we got in the car.

"…So where are we going?"

Freddie looked at me confused for a minute, then coming to realization.

He pulled out a picnic basket from the back, "To the park. We just gotta pick up some food."

I rolled my eyes, and smiled. "Ham."

"I know."

I studied his face, "Your eye's going to be swollen."

He shrugged.

We were lying on the grass. Right by the tree I pushed him off three or so years ago.

Freddie folded his arms behind his head, and laid down, looking at the sky.

I did the same.

"That cloud," I pointed a blank blueness, "looks like an elephant… with a sombrero. He is hula hooping too, if you squint."

Freddie looked over to me like I was crazy, "There isn't a cloud in the sky."

I nodded, and smiled, "I know. But the more you try to imagine it, you can actually see it."

He looked at me, but when he found out I was serious, he tried it.

"Do you see it?" I asked.

He stared and then squinted into the sky, "Yeah. I know what you mean."

I moved and laid by his side, and he put an arm around me. This was perfect. It's a beautiful day.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you, too. Probably more."

"Aw, come on Sam. I hate when you do that… I love you most."

"I love you more than most."

"I love you more than toast." I said

He turned to me, "Well. That's a new one." He grinned.

I laughed.

After a few minutes went by, I broke the silence, "It would be different, if it was true. But it isn't even." I mumbled.

He looked at me, but understood.

"I feel guilty. This is my fault, if I didn't give it to you in the middle of school. How dumb was that of me?" He sighed.

I never really thought of it being his fault. The only person I ever blamed was Heather. I still blame her. Not Freddie. Freddie didn't mean to hurt me, Heather did.

I couldn't really argue with the "being dumb" part, but it wasn't his fault.

"Well… there could have been a better time, I'm sure, but this isn't your fault. It's Heather's."

"I will always have some sort of fault in this."

I shook my head, "I'm not mad at you. Don't blame yourself, O.K.?"

He looked up at the sky for a moment, then looked at me. I can tell he wouldn't ever entirely believe it, but he said, "Sure…"

I held his hand, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Sam."

I moved so I could kiss him, and as soon as I was going to I got a text from Carly.

New Message from Carly:

Sam! I'm gonna kill you! Do you know Spencer almost had a heart attack from finding the pregnancy test in the bathroom!

I laughed out loud, and it made look at me curiously. I showed him the message, and he chuckled and rolled his eyes. He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed me. I tilted my head to kiss him back. I laughed in the middle of it because he started to tickle me.

I shoved him away, laughing, "Stop!"

"That's your only weakness, though!"

He found out about it a long, long time ago when I was bullying him around. I remember I tripped him for taking the last grape, and I started to hit him on the ground and he started tickling me to defend himself. It surprised him probably more than it surprised me when I bursted out laughing and tumbled over. Carly laughed from the seat a few feet from us, and Freddie started to nervously laugh because he didn't know what I was going to do to him after that. I tickled him back harder.

I laughed, and I can tell he was remembering, too.

I texted Carly back:

Sorry, you told him it was me?

I saw Freddie looking for something in his wallet.

"What are you looking for?"

"Some singles. Want ice cream?"

I was actually feeling a little sick. Like I have been all week, again.

"No. I'm not feeling great."

"Oh." He started to close his wallet.

"Just go get your ice cream." I laughed.

He smiled and jumped up. Sometimes, he acted like a little kid. Not as much as I do, but he had his moments.

I picked up his wallet, and my picture was right in the front.

I smiled.

He has a lot of pictures. One was of me, him and Carly, another was of me and him, then another of me and him, then one of all of us again, and the last one was of my and him from a while ago. I noticed there was a piece of stuffed behind the last picture. It wasn't my wallet, it was Freddie's… but…..

Freddie won't mind.

It was a letter.

August 28th, 2010

Sam, I know you would think this is cheesy and call me a dork. Maybe make fun of me, or never make eye contact with me again but

That part was crossed out with a thin line. He restarted the next line:

Sam, even though you harass me… a lot, I just want to know that

Crossed out.

Look, you will probably never like me the way I like you

Crossed out.

Hey Sam…. I know you think I'm a nub and stuff, but I just hope you won't laugh when you read this. I kinda, sorta maybe like you. Which is weird, because I never did before.

Scribbled out.

I GIVE UP.

Was written across the bottom.

Wow. That was more than a year ago. We didn't date yet, I didn't even like him. I pushed him to the ground, I humiliated him in public, I made fun of him on a daily basis. How could he even like me then?

I wonder what I would have done if he actually gave me this then.

I shoved the note in my pocket when I saw him coming back.

"What're you looking for? I don't have a lot of money."

"Not money. Looking at your pictures."

He grinned, "There's one of you when you were really little. I don't even know how old. It's ripped, I don't know why. I just remember you left it on Carly's counter one time. I'm pretty sure you didn't want it, because you ripped it in half and started cursing at it. So I put it in my pocket, and now it's in my wallet. Look," He took it out of his wallet, it was behind another picture. I must have missed it, "I taped it."

I took it from his hands and looked at it.

"Why did you rip it? I was too scared to ask. It was a few years ago."

Which explains why he was scared.

I shook my head, "It's just when I realized something."

He looked at me, urging me to go on, but not really pushing it.

I sighed, "A really long time ago, my dad said he'd come back. I thought maybe a week or two. After a month he still didn't come back, so I asked my mom why, and she told me to shut up. I didn't ask again until the next month when she yelled, 'He ain't coming back, Sam! Drop it! He ain't coming back, and it's all your fault. He never wanted you, you were just a mistake. I almost had an abortion just so he would stay with me. I didn't. I almost put you up for adoption, but I didn't. Your dad wasn't thrilled, but he didn't leave. He just tried to ignore you, didn't you ever realize that? You wouldn't let him be, though. He loved me, not you. You drove him away, that day you got hauled into the police station for shoplifting. If he wanted a daughter, he would at least want one that wasn't a disgrace! You are the reason he left me!' And she threw an old picture of my at the door, and told me to get out. It broke, but I grabbed it, and I walked out the door and to Carly's. Then you remember two weeks later? She came back, and said she didn't mean it. I guess I just wanted to go home." I shrugged.

Freddie didn't say anything. I wouldn't know what to say either.

He kissed my forehead, and pulled me by my hand to stand, "You have me."

"I know that."

"Always."

I hugged him, because I just wanted to hug someone.

I distracted myself, "Why do you have two ice creams? Got hungry?"

"No, this one's for you."

"I told you I didn't want it."

"You can change your mind. I know I would if I saw this," He gestured to his fantastic ice cream cone, "gorgeous, chocolate, peanut butter, enormous-"

I quickly ran to the garbage can a few yards away, and threw up.