Disclaimer: Own Harry Potter, do I not. (Yoda style!)
Chapter 20-Seriously? Now?
Harry woke up to the sound of Kreacher dragging Sirius and Remus into his room via apparation. The elf had a tight grip on both their wrists, and Sirius was eyeing Kreacher's hand on his wrist like the elf had leprosy. The image of complete and utter disgust brought two very different feelings up in Harry; anger at Sirius treating another creature (1) like that, at him displaying the same prejudiced attitude that had lead to Harry being imprisoned, and joy at what a huge blow this was going to be to Sirius' pride.
Honestly, if his ego wasn't taken down a notch, Harry would never be able to forgive him. It wasn't enough for them to be sorry; they had to change. The only reason Harry was even giving them this chance was because they'd acted like they wanted to change, but if they showed that they couldn't or wouldn't change, that the prejudices and mannerisms ingrained into them by the wizarding world were irremovable…well, Harry would hesitate to kick them out and forget about them completely. He wouldn't expect them to do a complete 180 immediately, though, but some things needed to change now.
An irate-looking Kreacher pulled the two forward, causing them to look over towards Harry. Harry internally flinched as both of the men's faces lit up visibly at the sight of him. Kreacher looked at the two he was gripping with loathsome disgust, all joy gone from his wizened face and replaced with blatant dislike. "Kreacher brought the traitor and the werewolf, but they refused to come with Kreacher at first. They do not seem to remember the conversation Sir had with them."
"What conversation?" Sirius exploded, wrenching himself out of the elf's iron clad grip. "I never said I would apologize to you or that barmy old bat!"
Kreacher looked livid and probably would have cheerfully beaten Sirius to death with a blunt kitchen spoon had the man not been his master. Harry just raised an eyebrow at the two. "Really? It's ok, Sirius, Remus," The two looked positively ecstatic at hearing Harry speak their names. "You can ask me for my permission to apologize to both Kreacher and your mother now, just liker you begged me for the chance to do the last time we met. Sirius, don't you remember how excited you were when I told you that you could ask me later?"
Harry stared intently at the man who had once been his godfather, an intense look in his eyes that said, 'go along with what I'm saying before I lose my temper and murder you.' It took a few moments, but Sirius finally seemed to gulp, and he looked down at Kreacher with poorly masked horror and dislike. "Oh…I can…?"
Kreacher seemed not to notice how fake that answer was, (though Harry did, as was noted by his glare) and he squeaked in gleeful anticipation before turning to Remus. "And he refused to remember his apology as well."
"What apology?" Remus asked, genuinely confused. When had he ever wronged anyone in the Black household?
"For diverting one of their own away their great way of living and helping him to become a disgrace, of course. Oh, and for being so helplessly inferior to all members of the Black family," Harry said a matter of factly.
Remus looked taken aback, most probably at being called inferior. Harry glared at him as well until Remus, who got the hint far sooner than Sirius had, looked up and yelped, "Oh, of course, thank you."
Harry smiled sinisterly at the two, not hiding his amusement at (or involvement in) their predicament. The two, however, just seemed glad that Harry was smiling at them at all. Harry ignored this and proclaimed grandly, "You may now ask me for my permission for you to apologize."
Remus and Sirius just stared at him for a second, trying to tell if he was being serious or not, and Kreacher glanced between the two expectantly. Harry joined Kreacher in staring at the two. He wasn't going to make this easy on them, even if it was just a small revenge. Remus and Sirius sighed in acceptance, seeming to realize that they were in for a lifetime of these revenges. Harry smirked; they had no idea.
Sirius and Remus looked directly at Harry and said, rather solemnly, actually, "Harry Potter, we ask you for your permission to apologize to Kreacher and the portrait of Walburga Black, Sirius' mother." (2)
Harry looked at them, regally declared, "Granted!" and looked at them expectantly again and then at Kreacher.
"Oh, um," Sirius mumbled reluctantly before Remus elbowed him into moving forward towards Kreacher. Missy just watched, eyes wide in awe, as if this living soap opera was the most interesting thing she'd ever seen.
Sirius swallowed thickly before saying, a constipated look on his face, "Kreacher… I'm s-sorry for the… way I've treated you." Harry's gaze pierced him, causing Sirius to go on. "And I've… had a rearrangement inside of my soul. I have realized my past wrongs in turning away from our fair house. I have wronged you, and it was…wrong. And for that, I ask your forgiveness."
Sirius' dramatic flair won out from his disgust at the words he was speaking, and he finished bowed on one knee in front of Kreacher. Harry supposed his inborn marauder instincts for lying had just automatically kicked in. Harry was sure Sirius wouldn't have been able to sound even as mildly sincere as he had, had it not. In response, Kreacher's eyes welled up with tears, and he barely refrained from launching himself at Sirius, beaming with joy.
Harry wondered why for a second, when it seemed as if the elf would like nothing more than to tackle Sirius, when he realized. Kreacher was most likely waiting for Walburga's permission and for Sirius to be welcomed back into the Black family by her. Sirius, in turn, looked down at Kreacher a little disturbed, but with just a little hate, as no one could really hate a creature that was looking at him with such hope, loyalty, and devotion.
Harry smiled, both a Kreacher's happiness and Sirius' great discomfort before turning to look pointedly at Remus. Remus started a bit at being focused on but turned to Kreacher immediately. "Kreacher, I apologize for helping Sirius to become corrupted and stray from the House of Black."
He looked over at Harry, who motioned for him to go on, which he did, albeit a little hesitantly. "And also, I apologize for being so inferior to all in the Noble House of Black and for being a dirty, dirty werewolf." Lupin looked as if he was ready to burst out laughing at this point, and Harry's eyes narrowed.
It seemed that revenge would be in order, later on. However, at least most of Lupin's apology sounded more believable than Sirius' had. Kreacher nodded his head slightly in Remus' direction, a smile still on his face.
"Kreacher," Harry asked. "Can you go make a distraction so that these two can apologize to the Mistress Black now?"
Kreacher nodded his head, when a thought seemed to occur to the elf. "Kreacher would be happy to, Sir, but… don't Master Sirius and the werewolf need to promise their loyalty as your slaves now?"
"Oh, err," Harry had forgotten about that. He supposed he had just gotten carried away, but now, slaves sounded harsh.
"You said they wanted to pledge to be your slaves until you no longer need/want them to be," Kreacher continued, not seeing Harry's situation.
Harry was torn; he had no idea what to do. He may still greatly dislike (possibly still hate) the two, but he didn't want to take away their freedom. They'd being even more caged in than he had, and Harry wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even Voldemort. No one deserved to live without their freedom. Maybe he could get out of making them swear a wizard's oath and just make them promise; they wouldn't be bound for life by a promise, especially if he let them out of it later.
Harry looked over at Sirius and saw that the man's face seemed to light up, as if he had an idea. Harry watched as Sirius looked over at Remus, and Remus, being able to tell what Sirius was thinking form years of experience, nodded, a smile transforming his face. They both stepped forward and grabbed Harry's wrists, one hand on each. They nodded at Kreacher who immediately smiled and began the spell.
"Wait, wha, sto–" Harry struggled to try and break away, but the two men's grips on his wrists were too strong.
Sirius and Remus looked at each other one last time before staring straight at Harry, intoning simultaneously, "I, Sirius Black, and I, Remus Lupin, hereby swear to be Harry Potter's slaves until he no longer needs or wants us to be." Harry felt the magic pass through them and bit back an indignant yell. It was too late; now they were bound to him.
Kreacher clapped his hands excitedly before disappearing to do who knows what to the Order. Missy followed, presumably to go clean or learn from Kreacher or something. Harry stood on one foot, gathering himself, before twirling around to glare at Sirius and Remus. They both flinched, but the large smiles on their faces remained. Harry found that he had no words for this.
He didn't even know whether he should feel angry that they would do something like this for him or happy that they would do something like this for him. He also felt anger at not even being consulted in this well up. Harry opened and closed his mouth several times before the words finally came out of his mouth. "You, you realize that you've just made yourselves my slaves, right?"
"Yep," Sirius nodded his head amicably, a goofy grin still on his face. Remus frowned, a little bit more attuned to Harry's dilemma.
Harry's panic was growing. He was now responsible for these two men; they had to do whatever Harry said and possibly follow him around. Harry had wanted to give them a chance, but he hadn't wanted to have to spend every waking moment with the two! Harry ignored his anger at not being consulted and focused on the problem at hand.
"You realize this means you have to follow me around and do whatever I say, right?" Harry ran his hands through his hair, close to his breaking point.
"As long as we can be with you, Harry, that's all that matters," Remus said softly, trying to put it in a way that would keep Harry form getting more riled up than he already was.
Needless to say, it didn't work.
Harry groaned out loud, turned to the nearest stone wall, and began hitting his head against it. What was he supposed to say to that? These two men had given up their freedom for him, for crying out loud! Harry thunked his head against the wall harder.
Sirius and Remus rushed forward, concerned for his physical safety and his mental sanity, both before his slaughtering of millions of brain cells by hitting his head against a wall and after, but they both restrained themselves from toughing him, as if not sure they had the right.
Wait a minute. Harry paused in his banging of his head, much to Sirius' and Remus' obvious relief. They had sworn to be his slaves as long as he needed or wanted them.
His idea must have shown on his face because Remus immediately said, "It was if you need or want us, Harry. The oath will only break when you no longer need us to be you slaves and no longer want us to be your slaves."
With a start, Harry realized he was right. And, quite frankly, Harry needed them to be his slaves (harsh word) right then because he needed them to do everything he said. Besides, he even wanted them to be his slaves a little bit; now, he could boss the around, and he could keep them with him so that they could prove themselves to him without actually endangering any innocents because they would have to keep his secrets and do what he said.
But still, slaves, twenty-four-seven. …Ugh. Harry resumed banging his head on the wall, much to Sirius and Remus' displeasure. They both leaned forward, catching the words, "Stupid werewolf…stupid ex-godfather…stupid oath….stupid Kreacher for bringing it up…stupid me for saying it…stupid conflicting emotions!" between each thud.
Harry probably would have continued this way for some time had it not been for Kreacher popping back in, immediately drawing Harry's attention to the elf rather than the wall. Harry pulled away form the stone he'd been hitting his head on, rather dizzily, and walked over to Kreacher, causing Sirius and Remus to relax in open relief again. Harry ignored them, seeming to decide it was the best policy for the moment.
"Did you get rid of the Order, Kreacher?"
Kreacher nodded happily. "Yes, Master Harry, the house is free of vermin, and they can apologize to the Mistress now."
"How'd you get rid of them?" Harry asked curiously.
Kreacher didn't meet Harry's eyes. "Let's just say that when they get back later, they won't be getting any dessert with their dinner."
"…" Harry looked over at Sirius. "He's your house elf; did he just make a joke?"
Sirius shrugged. "I have no idea. And he likes you better, anyways."
They both looked over at Kreacher, who was looking worried now. "Kreacher, can you explain that, please?" Harry asked carefully.
Kreacher's ears were drooping more and more by the second, but the house elf answered dutifully. "Well, you see, Master, Kreacher sent them all to the desert. And even with Dumbledore, it will take them a few hours to get back thanks to Kreacher's magic."
Harry blinked before turning his head to look at Sirius. "He made a pun," Harry said, voice full of something akin to a mixture of wonder and disbelief.
Sirius, however, merely looked confused as heck. "He did… Do house elfs even have a sense of humor? I've never heard one crack a joke before, let alone a pun. And this is Kreacher…"
"Apparently, they can and will," Harry said, eyebrows raised, before turning back to look at Kreacher, who was practically in tears at this point.
"Kreacher is so sorry, Master Harry! Kreacher did not know that he was not allowed to use humor. Kreacher won't do it again; please punish Kreacher for being such a bad elf, Master!"
Harry started in surprise as Kreacher burst into tears and bowed down in front of Harry, as if expecting a beating. "No, no, Kreacher," Harry hastily amended. "I was only surprised. You can use humor; I want you to be able to do or say anything around me and be completely honest. In fact, I'd love it if you'd make jokes… it's punny."
Harry winced as soon as the last sentence came out of his mouth; he'd just gotten carried away trying to calm the sobbing elf. Man, first the slave thing, and now this lame pun… Harry really needed to learn how to put a filter on his mouth. Harry heard Remus and Sirius behind him burst into muffled snickers, and his eyes narrowed again.
Kreacher stopped bowing, and his tears stopped flowing as he looked at Harry, a peculiar expression on his face. "Thank you, Master Harry, but if what you said is true, then Kreacher has to say… that was not funny, Sir. Not at all."
Harry felt his jaw drop as he stared at Kreacher. Behind him, he heard Sirius and Remus laugh uproariously, no longer trying to hide their amusement. Harry just stood there for a few minutes, trying to comprehend the fact that he'd just been dissed by a house elf - one he owned, no less!
Finally, a laughing Remus put his hand on Harry's shoulder, jolting Harry out of his disbelief. Remus tried to ignore the fact that Harry had flinched when he'd touched him. Harry just waved for Kreacher to go on ahead downstairs and began walking down the stairs himself. Sirius' mirth at Harry's situation immediately turned to despair.
Harry felt a small flash of sympathy – first apologizing to Kreacher and now his mum, who he hated even more than Kreacher – but it disappeared as fast as it had come. The man deserved every minute of it, after all. Harry and company came to a stop at the portrait of Walburga Black, whose curtains Kreacher had already opened, and was sitting there regally, (or as regally as she possibly could, being a painting and all) preening.
At the sight of her son, her eyes narrowed in distaste, but she said nothing and instead nodded her head to Harry. "Kreacher has explained your situation to me. I thank you, young Master Potter, for carrying out my son's last task and for giving my other whelp of a son a second chance to better himself, and the werewolf as well. Not many would."
Strange, but Harry found himself liking her quite a bit. Maybe it was the way that Sirius had spent no less that two seconds with her and already looked ready to explode. Mrs. Black continued, this time looking at Sirius and Remus.
"You may apologize now."
Remus just looked a bit taken aback, as he had never had a civil conversation with Sirius' mum before. Sirius, however, had, and he looked like he was this close to turning around and not looking back. Harry merely gave him a pointed look, which caused the man to sigh and turn towards his mother's painting again. Huh, so maybe the slave thing wasn't so bad. (For Harry, at least.)
Sirius kept his eyes anywhere but his mum's as he started his painful task of apologizing to someone he absolutely hated. Harry couldn't help the small smile that overcame his face.
"I…apologize, Mother." Harry poked the man sharply with his wand, prodding him to go further. "I am sorry for the dishonor I have brought to the House of Black and for my inane actions in trying to break away form this…proud house."
*Poke*
Sirius flinched and continued, spitting the words out of his mouth like they were poison. "I also apologize for my rudeness and childish actions and insults directed towards you."
Sirius' mum surveyed him haughtily before nodding her head slightly. "Very well, then, as you are the only blood-Black left, I will accept your apology."
Kreacher burst into tears again at his Mistress' graciousness. It suddenly occurred to Harry that house elfs really do cry a lot. Then, randomly, the thought of how you punish a house elf came to mind. Harry knew that all house elfs enjoyed doing chores, and that even quite a few of them probably enjoyed being punished, as it was their master's will, and house elfs love doing their master's will. So what do you do, tell them they can't clean for a week? That didn't seem like much of a punishment to Harry.
Harry was broken out of his sporadic musings by Mrs. Black's harsh voice. "Enough, Kreacher. Sirius Orion Black, we will speak of your punishment in a few moments time. But first, it's the werewolf's turn to apologize." She turned her disdainful eyes to Remus, who flinched at being brought, once again, into a conversation suddenly. That seemed to happen to him a lot.
Sirius, while bristling at the "punishment" comment, stepped back, vaguely feeling and repressing the urge to throw up. Remus stepped forward hesitantly and bowed to Mrs. Black, whose eye's widened slightly in surprise and held the barest hint of approval.
"Mistress Black, I, Remus Lupin, formally apologize for my actions in helping Sirius Black down a path, away from the House of Black." Remus felt Harry's wand poke into his back and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. So Harry wanted him to continue with that. Meanwhile, Harry was grinning sadistically. "I also apologize for being so hideously inferior to the House of Black."
Mrs. Black waved a hand dismissively. "Do not mind that; you cannot help how inferior you are."
Remus prepared to step back when he felt Harry's wand poking at him again. "What else should I apologize for?" he burst out angrily before realizing where he was. Sirius stiffened, as did Kreacher, but Harry and Mrs. Black both looked at each other and smirked. Wait a second, was that… amusement shining in the crazy old witch's eyes?
"Perhaps for your shabby attire?" she asked tonelessly, a small smirk still playing on her face. Harry stifled a chuckle; he was really starting to like this lady. However, the mirth left Walburga's eyes, and she spoke regally again. "Like I said before, Kreacher has explained your situation to me. Harry, do you realize that you are now officially the heir to the House of Black and all of its properties?"
Harry's eyes widened. "No, I didn't."
"My foolish son made you his heir sometime before he betrayed you, and, as you had turned 16 before he denounced you, you are still his heir. It is a law upheld in the older pureblood families that was used to keep a sense of order between the often feuding family members; this law is the only reason my son inherited the Black fortune."
Sirius seemed to flinch at his mother's reference to him and looked at Harry, as if unsure of what to say to this. Harry just raised his eyebrow. "He made me his heir? And when did he denounce me? Not that I wouldn't be happy with it, but you'd think I'd have gotten a notice or something."
Sirius flinched again and motioned frantically for his mother not to say anything more, but she ignored him. "Yes," she nodded, "he made you his heir not long before he betrayed you. And later, at you're trial, he verbally denounced you, and doing so, even if just verbally, makes it official in the wizarding world."
Harry blinked. "So that means we're no longer legally related in a way?"
Sirius's mum shook her head. "No, both of you would have to agree for you to be fully cut off – as it was, he would only have made you not be his heir, had you not been 16, of course. You never voiced that you agreed; therefore, you are still legally related." She sniffed haughtily. "This law was made to keep pureblood families from… getting rid of unwanted squibs or the such."
"So if I wanted to, I could denounce Sirius and legally no longer be his godson?" Harry inquired.
Both Sirius and Remus flinched at this question, though Sirius more so than Remus. Walburga turned her sharp eyes towards her prodigal son and then back towards Harry again. "Yes, but I would not advise it. As I said several times before, Kreacher told me of what has happened. I am fully aware of my son and the werewolf's positions as your slaves.
"Even though you are now my son's legal master, you are not yet, by another long series of laws designed to keep unruly purebloods in line, master over the House of Black. By this, I advise you, politically at least, not to denounce my son. Besides," she gave Harry a wry smile. "I've always wanted a grandson."
Harry looked up Walburga for a few moments before giving her a thin smile of his own. By this point, Sirius just looked terrified and obviously had no idea what was going on. "And what better grandson than Harry Potter," Harry said slyly.
Walburga's smile grew larger. "Exactly," she purred, proud that her relative, legally at least, could be so cunning.
Harry felt his smile grow larger in return. Then, sensing that both she and Sirius needed confirmation that he would not be denouncing the Black family, Harry continued. "Very well, then, grandmother. Do you have any pureblood, political advice for me at the moment?" She would now want some way of involving herself in his life, Harry knew. Probably some sort unspoken pureblood rule.
Walburga smiled at Harry as if he had just done something really pleasing. She glanced over at her son, and her smile grew even larger and took on a feral edge. "I trust you to take care of yourself and my Noble House, but I do have one piece of advice for you. As my son and the werewolf have become your slaves, I would advise you to place your claim on them."
At Harry's extremely confused look, (and Sirius' increasingly pale face) she continued. "It is customary in pureblood families to place a claim of sorts on their slaves so that everyone knows whose slaves they are. It would be no different now, than collaring a dog so that it can be returned if it is lost."
Harry thought on this for a while before that last sentence stood out at him. Harry felt a smirk overcome his face, and he turned towards a scared-looking Sirius and Remus. The two flinched unintentionally as Harry raised his hand and both looked away in anticipation of being, well, branded or something of that nature.
Harry's smirk grew bigger as placed newly transfigured dog collars onto each of the men's necks. (3) They both looked down, surprise evident on their faces. They'd been expecting Harry to do something horrible to punish them for betraying him. Harry frowned and narrowed his eyes while the two men inspected their collars.
Walburga smiled approvingly at Harry. "They should wear them as long as they are your slaves. You know… I have never seen collared slaves before; usually, they're just branded. This is much less messy; I approve."
Harry watched as Sirius and Remus shared guilty looks at her words, and he just couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't' take it that they would even have thought that he would have branded them. That was just… wrong, evil. Did they really think Harry was capable of something as horrible as that?
Standing up suddenly, Harry caused Remus and Sirius to flinch. He looked around before saying stiffly, "Thank you for your advice, Mistress Black. But I have to go now; I have… things to take care of." Harry turned to leave, and Sirius and Remus moved to stop him. Harry turned around with a glare. "Stay here until I get back."
"B-but," Sirius said weakly, still not completely sure why Harry was so upset.
"Stay." Harry glared before apparating away. Maybe the mutt couldn't learn to change… or he was just that stupid. Either way, Harry needed to go calm down and what better way than to go out and plan the destruction of another horcrux?
Meanwhile, Remus was glaring at Sirius, angry with both his friend and himself; Sirius was beginning to look stricken as he realized just what'd he'd done; and Walburga just shook her head.
"I always knew you were both idiots."
Sirius and Remus just looked down.
A/N: (1) Ha! Pun! I'm just really into puns lately for some reason.
(2) I looked it up; that is his mother's name.
(3) Thanks to Slytherin66 for the dog collar idea.
I'm really sorry it has been so long since I have updated. I have…no excuse. Except maybe that typing must have been invented by someone really, really, evil and that Biology teachers should give less homework.
I feel like Remus is hardly ever called by his real name in this; it's always just "the werewolf." Oh, well. And lots more stuff, betrayals, and intrigue comes up in the next chapter, which I will try to get up in a reasonable time span. That may not be for a while, though. I have 6 exams coming up before Christmas, so… studying, yeah.
Oh, and sorry if this is a little rough; my sister couldn't beta for me, and I wanted to get it out, so…yeah. Don't forget to press the little button down below! (Review!)