Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.

Claimer: I own Evyn. Clearly.

In this chapter, Loki is feminine and goes by "she/her/hers" pronouns. In the flashback, Loki is masculine and goes by "he/him/his" pronouns.

"My mother would like me to go to Alfheim with Odin," Loki said. She was feeling distinctly feminine, uncomfortably so, and was thus fidgeting more than usual in her seat.

"Oh?" Evyn said, tilting his head, inviting Loki to say more. Loki nodded, but when she said nothing, Evyn prompted further. "Do you want to go?"

"No..." Loki looked down at her hands. "...I don't know," she admitted, glancing back up.

"Okay," Evyn said, crossing one leg other the other. "Why wouldn't you want to go? What are the pros and cons here?" Loki shrugged. "Alright, why don't we make a list? Would you like to do that on your own time, or right now?"

"My own time," Loki said and nodded before saying "Thor knows I'm a jotun."

"Oh?" Evyn said, raising his eyebrows.

Loki nodded. "He figured it out, apparently. I'm not sure how, but he did; he came up and asked about it the other day. I didn't tell him, I was careful about not leaving clues-" Loki stopped and slumped into her chair, throwing an arm over her eyes with a groan. He said sorry. As if that changes anything," she added under her breath. She sprang to her feet and began to pace.

"He doesn't even know what he's apologizing for!" She said. "He has no idea what it is he has done! He just thinks he can say 'sorry' and that everything is okay..."

Evyn hummed. "Loki," he said. "I think this is a good thing."

Loki glared at him and Evyn raised his hands. "Hear me out," he said. "Thor's apologized. Perhaps you think it changes nothing, but in my eyes, I see it as an opportunity. Like he's opening his doors to you."

"Maybe I don't want to go in," Loki replied, crossing her arms.

"Then that's your decision," Evyn said, tilting his head in acknowledgment. "And I'm not telling you to forgive him. I'm not telling you do do anything. Really, both of you need to be willing to move past this."

"But the idiot doesn't even understand what he has done!" Loki repeated, throwing herself back on the sofa.

"And have you told him?" Evyn asked.

Loki huffed and crossed her arms, looking at the wall. "If he doesn't know already, then he's never going to."

Evyn sighed a little. "Loki, remember what I've said? Even though you and Thor have the same memories, you have very different experiences. It is entirely possible that Thor doesn't know the extent of what he has done to you. Perhaps you need to tell him more about how you feel."

Loki didn't look at him. "How can I?" She said. "He'll only dismiss it, or tell me I'm overreacting. He never takes me seriously, not when I told him how much I loved magic. He even once said that I'm not capable of sincerity." Loki shook her head and rubbed at her eyes. "I just- Norns, I hate him."

Evyn was quiet for a moment, thinking. "Loki," he said. "You are hesitant to trust Thor and Odin. It sounds like the reason, to me, is because they have made you and your emotions seem invalid." He paused and added "In my experience, when someone talks about a person they are or were close to and says they 'hate them,' it can be translated to 'I was hurt by this person.' Thor and Odin have hurt you; you feel rightfully betrayed, especially by Odin."

Loki twisted the hem of her shirt. "That's the thing about betrayal, isn't it?" She said, voice shaking a little. "It always comes from those you least suspect." Loki shook her head before looking up at Evyn. "He should have told me what I was," she said, voice still shaking. "Why...? Why didn't he tell me?"

Evyn's eyes turned sad. "I don't know, Loki," he said. "Though, I have a few suspicions." He waited for Loki's eyes to meet his before continuing. "Parents do what the hope is best for their children. They try to do better than their parents. Asgard's views of the jotnar are not especially desirable. I think he thought he was protecting you from the hatred that you might find if he had revealed your heritage."

Evyn paused and took Loki in for a moment. "Loki," he said. "What do you think of the jotnar?"

Monsters, the word flashed through her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head. "I don't know."

Evyn nodded, quiet for a moment. "I think you should go to Alfheim," he said at last. "I think it is important for you to see other jotnar as they go about their day to day lives. If there is one thing that can be aid about the jotnar," he added, "they help their own kind, no matter what. You may not believe it yet, but they are generally kind people."

Loki swallowed and looked down. Nothing was said for a few moments until Evyn said "I was walking around Asgard yesterday. Funny, what you can learn about a race from its people." He smiled at Loki. "Loki, I think you know as well as I do that there is a difference between a civilization's nobility and commoners. You've walked among your people, seen their experiences, even helped them, from what I've heard. Knowing you, I do not find this hard to believe."

Loki shrugged. "It wasn't that much," she dismissed. "Just a few things here and there."

"Well, whatever you did," Evyn said, "those people love you."

"They don't know me," Loki said, looking away. Evyn tilted his head.

"I rather think they do," he said. "Loki, how would you describe the people who live in the palace? The lords and ladies and such, I mean."

Loki snorted. "Rude," she said. "Inconsiderate. They've got strange concepts of honor. They're liars and manipulators, the lot of them."

"And how would you describe the people?"

Loki hesitated. "Hard working," she said at last. "They... It depends. The people born with wealth feel entitled. Their privileged and don't realize it. They have no idea what they could do. The people, on the other hand, the lower class... they are hardworking. Sometimes, for all the work they do, they get nothing in return. I saw them struggling and..." She shrugged.

"You wanted to help," Evyn nodded.

"How could I not?" Loki said, looking up. "I do nothing to deserve what I have, I was simply born- brought into it. But those people... They deserve so much more than they get. What use is wealth and privilege if I cannot help people?"

Evyn sat back, looking triumphant. "Loki," he said. "I have met many people of nobility, from all over the Nine. Believe me when I say there are precious few who think like you do. You are a good person."

Loki looked down, flushing. Evyn smiled. "When was the last time you went out into the city?"

"Not for a little while," she replied, shrugging. "Not since... Not since the episode."

"I see." Evyn hummed. "Loki, if you would ever like to go out, but do not know who to bring, I would willingly join you."

Loki's eyes snapped up to him. "You would?" She said, eyes wide.

"Of course," he said. "Any time you wish to go, just let me know."

Loki blinked at him a few times and Evyn checked his watch. "Looks like our session's up..."

"Could we go now?" Loki asked, standing. "Right now?"

"Right now?" Evyn smiled. "Give me about fifteen minutes. And don't you need to tell someone here where you're going?"

Loki nodded. "I'll be back!" She called and ran off to her hall to find Frigga.

When Loki was about six-hundred-thirty years old and Thor six-hundred-sixty, they were given the task of acquainting themselves with the people of Asgard.

Thor had already somewhat done this; he and his friends often went to pubs and told stories of their adventures to all who would listen, but Loki rarely left the palace grounds, unless it was to join Thor on one of his aforementioned adventures.

And so it was that, the people knew and saw more of Thor than they did Loki. This wasn't a problem to Loki; it meant that he could travel wherever he wished without anyone recognizing him, and that suited him just fine.

However, the task was given, and so Loki and Thor talked about what the might do.

It was Loki's idea to visit the orphanage on the outskirts of Thieves' Square, even if Thor had told their parents about the idea first. Frigga approved, so Thor and Loki went, the Warriors Three and Sif following along.

The boys at the orphanage took instantly to Thor, picking up long sticks and pretending they were swords, Thor teaching them moves with a stick of his own. The Warriors Three laughed and played along, Sif teaching the few girls who had joined along.

Loki, on the other hand, was sitting on the floor, with several other girls crowded around him, their eyes wide.

"Will you let me paint your nails?" One of them asked, blinking at Loki. Loki raised his eyebrows and blinked, taken aback.

"If you like," he said at last. "What color?"

The girl grinned in delight and went to fetch her kit of polishes, setting them on the floor before Loki, putting down a sheet of paper and telling him to put his hands on it.

"What color do you want?" The girl-Anie he learned later-asked. Loki peered at the selection, finding multiple shades of pink, one bottle of yellow, orange, and red.

"Which one do you like best?" Loki asked. Anie hesitated and one of the other girls picked one up.

"This one!"

It was a light, powder pink. Anie smiled and nodded. "This one," she agreed and tried to open it before holding it up to Loki. "Can you open this, please?"

Loki complied and so Anie painted Loki's nails, about as well as you would expect a child of thirty-two to do. A few of the other girls joined in, braiding his hair and sitting on his lap, giggling and painting each others nails as well.

"Tell us a story!" One of them said and Loki raised his eyebrows, complying with the request and telling them of one of his and Thor's adventures.

One of the girls then raced off to fetch the boys, jumping up and down and saying excitedly "Loki's telling a story!"

The boys abandoned Thor then, and sat around Loki, who's nails were still getting painted. Thor had followed, and soon laughed aloud.

"Painted nails, little brother?" He asked, grinning. "One might think you were a girl!"

Loki paused for a moment, going tense. Anie looked up at him, her eyes wide and lip trembled. "I think they're pretty..." She said and Loki swallowed before smiling at her.

"Painting nails helps tune fine motor skills, brother," Loki replied, keeping his eyes on the little girl. "It takes practice not to be able to shake ones nails, and it is a great skill to have. Besides," he added, grinning at Thor. "Do you not remember your short time as a woman, brother?"

Thor's eyes widened and he lifted a finger. "Don't you dare-"

"It's quite the amusing story," Loki continued and the children pleaded for him to tell it.

And tell it he did.

It was an amusing story, to hear how Thor gambled away Mjolnir to a troll, dressing as a woman to get it back. Loki explained that yes, he too had dressed as a girl.

At the end of the day, Loki and Thor returned to the palace, Loki's nails painted pink and yellow. He cleaned up the polish that had gotten around his nails and onto his fingers, but continued to wear the polish until it peeled off about a week later, using an illusion to hide it.

After that, Loki continued to return to the orphanage once a month, clearing his responsibilities for an afternoon to make himself available. He brought books along to read aloud and sometimes treats, allowing them to paint his nails, and painting theirs in return. He made sure every child had a gift when Yuletide came around and donated money regularly.

The children adored him. He set a few up with families, some with apprenticeships, anything to get them out of the orphanage and set them up to have better lives.

Those who were out of the orphanage, who had grown up a bit, understood what he had done for them. They were grateful for what he had done for them, even if they had run away from the orphanage before they were of age. He knew all of their names and never made them feel like they were forgotten. When he came, the children would show him things they had drawn, or to recount a story to him. He listened, giving each and every child his undivided attention.

Loki made them feel loved, and it was often that Loki told them how very very proud of he was of them. After all, it was rare that anyone ever said it to him.

And when Loki looked at their small faces smiling up at him, wanting to show him new things?

Well, that made him feel all the more special in return.

Notes:

OH MY GOODNESS THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I don't think I've ever gotten so much response from a chapter before! I can only hope you like this chapter as well; I was uncertain about it when I wrote it, but I wanted to show that Loki's been conflicted about looking/acting feminine for a while, and that he really does have a great love for the people of Asgard.