Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Obviously.

In this chapter, Loki is masculine and goes by "he/him/his" pronouns.

Loki left Evyn's session, his eyes red, still clutching the tissue he had been offered as he made his way to the gardens. He wandered for a few minutes, grateful that it was a nice day, picking a flower here and there, unsure of what he'd do with the when he was finished. Perhaps he would put them in a vase, or press them into books, or use them for potions. The snow hadn't quite arrived yet, but most of the flowers had wilted.

He heard someone sigh when he had almost a bouquet. He straightened and looked around until he saw Frigga sitting at the base of a tree, writing in a book, or a journal of sorts. Loki felt his heart clenched and he chewed on his cheek, looking away before she somehow noticed he was there. He glanced around a few more moments, but there was no-one else around.

Go to her, you coward, he reprimanded himself. Apologize to her!

Loki stood there, doing nothing for a few moments, feeling very much like he either wanted to run away or scream. Possibly both.

He straightened again and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before opening them again and turning. Frigga was still there. He glanced around once more before sighing, almost like he was deflating; Frigga's eyes seemed to be somewhat red, thought that could have been from the cold weather.

Who are you trying to fool, Trickster? He asked himself and shook his head before making his legs move, walking towards her.

She looked up when he was still several feet away, saying nothing. Loki stopped and chewed on the inside of his cheek again before kneeling, sitting back on his heels and not looking at her. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes again.

"I'm sorry," he said at last, his voice not as steady as he would have liked. "I- I should not have said what I said. It was..." He paused and licked his lips. "It was cruel of me to..." He felt tears spring up again and he squeezed his eyes before opening them, looking at the ground. "You are my mother," he said at last, his voice shaking. "But only- Only if you would still have me as your son."

Loki squeezed his eyes shut again and tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He heard Frigga move, her skirts rustling. "Loki," she said, her voice fierce. Loki flinched and felt tears beginning to fall.

"I'm sorry," he repeated before she could continue. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please, please-"

A moment later Frigga pulled him into her arms. "You are my son," she said, her voice just as fierce as her embrace. "You are my son, Loki, and that will never change. No matter what you say or do, I will always love you. I love you, Loki, and you will never be able to fathom how much." She pressed a kiss to his temple and Loki shuddered.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, voice hoarse from trying not to cry. "I love you, I'm sorry, forgive me. Please, forgive me, Mother."

"Shh, shh," Frigga said, her voice gentler as she stroked his hair, her grip no less tight. "Hush now, darling, I know. I know. I forgive you, Loki." She pressed another kiss to his temple and he put his arms around her, hugging her back, crying into her collar and clinging to her.

"I'm sorry," he repeated through gasps. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Shh, I know," she whispered. "I know. I love you, Loki. I love you so much..."

Loki wasn't sure how long they were there for, kneeling in the grass. When he finished, he felt a bit lightheaded, like a weight had been taken off his mind, leaving him emptier. He eventually pulled away and Frigga smiled at him, her own eyes wet. She cupped his chin in her hands and pressed a kiss to his forehead, pulling back and sighing, still smiling. "Come," she said and made to get up, taking her journal and pen in one hand. "Let us go in and have a cup of tea."

Loki nodded silently, standing and she took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Loki's flowers had wilted some, but he brought them along, letting Frigga lead him to her study. He put them in an empty vase and placed them on the mantel, Frigga smiling.

"Those look lovely, Loki," she said when Loki walked over, taking out the teacups and putting them on a tray. Loki mumbled something in reply that might have been a "thank you," then returned to the sofa when Frigga finished making the tea. She poured Loki a cup and he accepted, but didn't drink it. He let the warmth from the cup seep into his fingers until they were almost burning. Frigga noticed and said "Darling, you're going to burn yourself."

Loki shook his head and she sighed, taking the cup away and putting it back on the table, running her fingers through his hair. "What are you thinking about?" She asked. Loki shrugged a little, licking his lips.

"Okay," he said at last, his voice soft. "I'll do it."

"Do what, sweetness?" She asked, placing her other hand on his knee. He blinked and swallowed.

"I'll go to Alfheim," he said at last. Frigga shifted to cup his face in her hands, gazing at him with a look of concern.

"Darling," She said. "You need not do this for my sake."

Loki blinked. "But-" He licked his lips. "But I thought you wanted me-"

"Oh, Loki," she murmured and hugged him again. "It was wrong of me to push you so. Do I think it would be a good experience for you and your father? Yes, I do. But darling, you need not prove it to me. If you do not wish to go yet, I will not ask you again. I forgive you. I give you my word. Understand?"

Loki chewed on his lip until he tasted blood, nodding. "I understand," he mumbled and made no move to pull away from her. "But... I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll go."

Frigga stroked his hair again and pulled away a little, gazing at him fondly. "Very well, Loki," she said. "Would you like to tell your father, or shall I?"

Loki chewed on his cheek and shook his head. "Can... Can you? Please?"

Frigga patted his cheek, still smiling. "Of course I will."

Loki didn't smile, but he reached over and pressed a light kiss to her cheek, hoping desperately he hadn't just made a mistake.

"Mama?"

Frigga looked up from her work for a moment to see Loki standing at her door, his hands clasped in front of him.

"Hello, Loki," she said. "Sit on the sofa, I shall be with you in a moment."

Loki nodded and moved to sit. Frigga cast her eyes back down and continued with her work. When she finished, she sighed, setting her pen aside and rubbing her neck before standing up, walking over and sitting next to Loki.

"What's the matter, my sweet?" She asked, stroking the boy's hair. He fidgeted his fingers and glanced around.

"Mama, I think there's something wrong with me," he said, looking up at her with large round eyes. Frigga stiffened and cupped his chin gently.

"What do you mean, Loki?" She asked. Loki shrugged, moving his eyes away from her.

"Well," he said, shifting in his seat as Frigga let his chin go. "Sometimes... Sometimes my body changes into a girl's. And I feel like a girl too, even when I change myself back." He frowned, looking back up at her. "Is that unusual?"

Frigga hesitated a moment, then pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Darling, it is not unheard of." She moved to sit him in her lap, glad that he was still young enough to want to sit there. Thor had already grown out of it by this age. He looked up at her and she said "Remember how you and Father and I sat down and talked with you?"

"Uh-huh," Loki said nodding. "The sex talk."

"That's right," Frigga said, smiling. "And do you remember how your parts are a little different from other people's?"

"Uh-huh," Loki repeated, nodding again. He then paused, looking thoughtful. "Is this because of that?" He asked. "Is that why I sometimes feel like a girl?"

"It could be," Frigga said, nodding. "But there are others in Asgard, even in other Realms, where one may feel like a member of the opposite gender."

"Like Sif?" Loki asked, looking up at her. "Sif says she wants to be a warrior, but only men can be warriors."

"It is a field dominated by men, that is true," Frigga said, nodding. "However, Sif would not be the first, nor hardly the last woman to become a warrior."

"Oh." Loki looked down, seeming disappointed by this news. Frigga smiled and smoothed his hair out. He had cut it short recently, and though Frigga thought the cut looked nice, she did miss his long curls.

"Loki, if you wish to be known as a girl when you change," Frigga started, but Loki's eyes widened and he cut her off.

"No! No, Mother, that's alright," he assured her. "I don't- I don't want that."

"Very well," Frigga said. "But if you change your mind, you need only let me know."

Loki nodded, leaning against her shoulder. "Don't tell Thor," he said. "Or Father. Please?"

Frigga looked down at Loki, his green eyes worried. She sighed and hugged him. "So be it, Loki," she murmured into his hair, closing her eyes. "So be it."

Notes:

I just want to say that I was very close to sobbing when I wrote this chapter. Dunno if it gave anyone else feels, but if it did, leave me a note, will ya? (Though it's possible I was just very emotional that day.)

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited!