A month later…

SS

We are now in Christmas holidays. I haven't talked with Harry since that Saturday. Yes, now I call him Harry in my mind. I see him and the boy in class, and I also see them when they are playing outside, or in the meals, or in the corridors... Harry sent me a note with his owl apologising for his manners when we argued that Saturday. Now he smiles at me when he sees me. But he is with the little boy all the time, playing with him, laughing with him when he laughs, and comforting him when he cries. It's clear that he loves the boy, and the boy loves him.

When the boy arrived a month ago, he had a lot of nightmares. I know he had them because I had them too, since I feel when he is in pain or scared, or both, and I can also see his nightmares. Now he doesn't have them, and I only wake up shouting from my nightmares. The worst part of it is that he has Harry, but I don't.

My mind was right, I was jealous of myself. I think that Albus has also realised about it because he asked me if there was a reason why I was so depressed lately. I told him that he was crazy, but that doesn't work with him, so he keeps looking sadly at me.

Two weeks ago, he told me we had a meeting. I thought it was an ordinary teacher meeting, but when I arrived to the Great Hall, Harry was there, with Albus and Minerva; and of course, with the boy.

Flashback

I arrive 5 minutes before 9 pm. All the students are supposed to be in their common room by that time, so my walk to the Great Hall has been peaceful. I open the door and the first thing I see is the boy playing with Harry's patronus, the majestic stag nuzzling the boy's face and running with him; while Harry is grinning at the boy. I'm going to take points from Gryffindor and give Harry detention with Filch, for being out of his common room at this time, when Albus appears.

"Ah, Severus, you're here. Well, then we can start the meeting."

"What is he doing here?" I mutter looking at Harry.

"Well Severus, the meeting is about little Severus." He says with his eyes twinkling.

"And why is the boy here? Can't he stay with Granger?" I spat.

"He was scared after what happened before and Harry…"

"Fine, it doesn't matter. Let's start the meeting, I have important things to do." I cut him.

"Alright. Harry, Minerva, please come here." Albus calls them.

"Here, little one, play with the snitch while I talk with the professors." Harry says giving the boy a big snitch.

After we are all around a little table with tea and biscuits, Albus starts talking, but I'm not listening. I'm too distracted looking at Harry, who is giving the boy a biscuit, or looking from time to time to the boy. Suddenly, he's looking at me, and I realise that Albus and Minerva are looking at me too. Albus smiles and Minerva sights.

"Sir?" Harry says.

"What?" I snap.

"The headmaster has asked you if you have had any luck researching the potion that brought Sev here." He says patiently.

"No. And I don't have time for those things."

"Well, Minerva and I have been researching some spells and I think…" Albus starts saying, but again I'm lost looking at Harry.

I hear the boy telling Harry that he's tired, and I see Harry picking him up and sitting him on his lap. The boy leans his head on Harry's chest and I wonder if one day I will be able to listen to Harry's heartbeats. Albus keeps talking, and it seems that Harry is listening, while Minerva hands him a little blanket to wrap the boy in it. Five minutes after that, the boy is totally asleep against Harry's chest, while Harry is rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"Severus, do you agree with this?" Albus asks suddenly.

"Albus, listen to me carefully. I told you two weeks ago, and I'm telling you again now: I don't care what you do with the boy, don't bother me with that. I have important things to do and I don't want to know anything about him." I say angrily, but I realise that it sounds more pained than angrily. I stand to leave, incapable of staying any more looking at Harry, who is hugging the boy.

Before going I see a mix of astonishment and sadness in Harry's eyes.

End of flashback.

Since then, nobody has tried to tell me anything about Harry and the boy.

Who do I want to fool? Harry will never love me. Even if he didn't hate me, he can't love me. I'm old, mean and bitter. Why would he love me?

Lately I've been feeling a bit unwell too, it must be that I need a rest from those dunderheads. My head has been hurting all the time since yesterday morning, and my chest is congested. Maybe it's the flu, because I think I have a bit of fever or maybe is that today it's Christmas day and I have to go to the Great Hall to eat with everyone and that makes me sick. But I can't tell the Headmaster that I'm not going because he will send me to Poppy.

I get up and I go to the bathroom to have a shower and see if it helps me to feel better; but after half an hour I decide that it's not going to help. I put on my clothes and I decide to have breakfast here. I'm not hungry and I don't want Dumbledore to suspect I'm ill. But mainly I don't want to go there because the last thing I want is to see Harry playing with the boy and all the toys that I'm sure he has given him for Christmas.

I walk to the living room and I see a green box with a ribbon and a small package with a card on it near the firewhiskey bottle that Albus gives me every year. The Headmaster was generous this year. I'm sure it's because he thinks I'm depressed. Well, I'm depressed, but he has no need to know when there is nothing he can do.

Maybe the presents aren't from Dumbledore, and someone has sent them to hurt me. I check them and they are safe; so they must be for Dumbledore. I decide that I'll have breakfast first, and then I'll open the presents. After eating some porridge and taking a pepper up potion, I go to open the presents.

I take the card, but it's not from Dumbledore, it's from Harry.