"Ha, let's try that again, shall we?"

Tris lets out a frustrated breath. "You can't expect me to actually knock you on your ass this early."

Zeke gives her a grin. "Of course I do. And it's only 11 in the morning."

He holds out a hand to help her up, which Tris gladly takes. She reaches up to tie her hair into a high ponytail after standing.

When she's sure Zeke isn't paying attention, she runs swiftly and brings her leg up to smash her foot into his face, but before she can even turn her body to gain momentum, he's caught her ankle.

Tris slams into the blue mat shortly after.

As planned, they'd finally gotten a chance to meet up in the morning. What Tris had really wanted to do was talk, but Zeke insisted they practice fighting with each other for at least 20 minutes instead.

"I'm not even going to get up this time." She moans as she rolls over on her side.

"You're not even trying."

"Yes, I really am!"

Zeke rolls his eyes. "You expect me to believe that."

He was right, her heart wasn't into it.

"You're lucky you didn't hurt my actual bandaged ankle you piece of shit. And why are we even doing this?" Tris grumbles the last part as she pushes herself on her elbows. The room was slightly spinning before her and she has to squint her eyes to make it stop.

"Because you think you can beat Eric up. And I can't always save you."

"Eric? Why is this about Eric? I thought this was some type of morning workout. I told you, I can protect mys-"

"Don't even." Zeke interrupts.

He seats himself beside her as she flops back down onto the mat again.

"I'll just carry a knife beside me at all times." She sighs while flicking her gaze over to Four.

She stares almost as if in a trance as he stands with his feet apart and a loose composure. After finally deeming his positioning right, he takes a step forward and lets the knife fly, giving a satisfied nod as it hits the bullseye before moving back to the table to grab another one. Shauna applauds him and he gives her a modest smile.

Did he always lick his lips while he was focused?

"You have two choices, either you can keep making googly eyes at my best friend, or you can actually talk to me."

Tris snaps her eyes back to Zeke who was looking at her with a straight expression. If it weren't for the way his jaw twitched as he held back his laugh, Tris would've actually thought he was serious. She brings her leg up to kick him and this time, he makes no move to stop her as it makes contact with his side.

"Shut up."

Zeke shrugs and brings his knees up to wrap his arms around them. "So?"

Tris glances at Four once more before sitting cross-legged to face Zeke.

"I just wanted to ask you a few questions."

"Oh really? Dammit, I thought you wanted to dance in front of me. I was so ready."

Tris smacks his arm again. "Literally Zeke, who gave birth to you?"

"Hana Pedrad, mother of Uriah and the hot and sexy, Zeke." He answers while twirling his wrist in the air.

How Uriah-like.

Tris tilts her head and feels a grin take hold of her face. "I would love to meet her."

There's a small silence between them as Zeke smiles back and looks up at the ceiling in private thought.

"She would love you." He claims quietly before clapping his hands together. "Enough of that, now what's the deal?"

Tris purses her lips in thought. "Zeke, I just..."

He watches her struggle to find her words.

"How do you do it? How do you act like everything is fine? Keep your shit together? Stay calm. Composed."

She shakes her head because she doesn't know how to put the jumble of thoughts in her mind into words. But Zeke stares intently at the ceiling in contemplation.

"You're asking me?" He finally answers with a raise of a brow. "You seem to 'have your shit together' in front of everyone all the time."

"No, I really don't. You saw yourself along with everybody else, I freaking snapped at your brother." She exclaims while hopelessly throwing an arm into the air. "And I try so hard not to lose my mind, but it's like..."

Tris squints her eyes. "I think the moment I came here, I became so much more vulnerable and emotional. I can't do anything without... crying."

Zeke laughs. "And that's not normal?"

She shakes her head. "For me, it isn't."

He frowns as he lifts a hand to his chin. "If I'm going to be honest, I didn't think you were normal even before this place. The first couple of days, you had the most serious attitude. You acted like a robot, no offense."

"None taken." Tris replies automatically.

Zeke pauses. "Hm. You're asking how I stay positive all the time? Oh, I don't know. This is going to sound so dumb but all you need to do is not give a fuck. And by that, I don't mean shut down all your emotions- just don't give a shit about the negativity. For example, if people are calling you names, don't be angry and miserable, laugh and make fun of them too."

He stops. "Wait, actually, that's not positive."

"I get it, it's more of an instinct to you," Tris adds with a small smile.

"Well. I guess it became in instinct. But Tris, we've all had horrible experiences in our life. For me and Uriah, we've really had to build up our confidence and prioritize ourselves. If there was a problem, there's no one else to fix it expect us, so why not solve it right away? Or prevent it from becoming big in the first place?" Zeke shrugs and places a hand on Tris's knee. "It's honestly all part of life. Everyone goes through struggles, some earlier than others."

Tris peers at Zeke's hand as he gives her knee a squeeze before returning to his side. "Zeke, I don't understand. What did you do to cope with struggle? I completely changed who I was as a person, I lost myself."

There's a small silence between them again as Zeke reflects on something. To give him time to collect his thoughts, Tris looks back at the knife table, where Four had his arms crossed against his chest. Shauna was gripping the knife so hard her fingers looked white. She didn't have to be close to know Shauna was being told to relax. Turning back to Zeke, she watches as he finally glances up and stares at Tris blankly.

"My dad." He chuckles bitterly. "He often left the house when we were young. My mom and dad fought a lot. We uh, we were young so at the time so we didn't understand what was happening. But we were old enough to dislike our father."

Zeke waves a hand in front of him as if he's swatting at a fly. "It's all a blur now, but one day, my dad was gone for a while. Apparently he slept with some waitress and as usual, he came back home begging for forgiveness but my mom wouldn't let him in. He decides he's going to leave once and for all, so he literally sneaks into the house somehow and grabs me and Uriah. He basically tries to run away with us. He doesn't even have a car."

He squints his eyes. "I don't think I'm remembering details correctly. Something like that. I can't remember anything from that night except his death. He got run over by a car in front of Uriah and me. It was dark and he was running with us, I think. Didn't see the car in time. He died on the spot."

Tris watches Zeke as he rubs at his eyes. "I don't know, I'll never clearly remember what happened. I've probably told like 10 different versions. There's only one part I'll never forget, and that's the fucking part where his guts spill out as his body is flattened."

She scans his face for any miserable emotion but finds none, only a hint of distress. That is what I'm trying to ask you. How did you just tell me that without breaking down?

Several seconds pass by until Zeke lets out a breath and stares at her again. Tris gives him a reassuring smile, then looks down.

If he trusted Tris enough to talk about his past, then no matter how much pain it'd cause her, she was going to do it too.

She flicks at an imaginary lint on her shorts. "I had a great life. Strong family bond. My mom, dad, and older brother, Caleb. There was a birthday party and we were going to be taking these pictures. I forgot my shirt at home, and there was this theme where everyone would wear white. It was Elia's birthday. Sweet and intelligent little girl. I didn't want to stick out with my blue dress when she should be the center of attention, so I sent my mom to go get it for me."

Tris looks to her side at the other mats stacked messily in a pile so that Zeke wouldn't see her agonizing over the memory. "My dad went along with her too. Maybe 10 minutes later, there was a phone call from some lady I didn't recognize calling from my mom's phone. There had been an accident."

Her voice shakes and she has to swallow a couple times to steady it. "I ran. Caleb followed. There was so much blood... five cars but only two looked fatal. My mom was stuck in the car and I remember my dad's fleshy twisted arm from under-"

She suddenly gags and covers her mouth to prevent Four and Shauna from hearing.

"They both?" Zeke questions, his voice no louder than a whisper.

Tris nods. She brushes her baby hairs from her face. "I couldn't... There was too much glass and... Caleb tried to hold me back. But I ran forward because I didn't care."

Tris exhales deeply as she screws her eyes shut. "And do you know what the worst part is?"

"What?" He asks quietly.

"They had their arms wrapped around each other. They tried to save the other, which was why they completely missed the airbags."

When Zeke doesn't say anything, she continues. "My brother stayed with me, but when he finally decided I could live on my own, he left with his girlfriend. That was after a year. I have my own apartment."

"How old are you, Tris?" He inquires.

She laughs and rubs at her eyes until she sees vibrant colors. "I was 17 when it happened. Now, I'm 19." Tris has to squint her eyes to focus on his face. "It's weird. I told Uriah how my parents died. I don't know why it feels harder saying it to anyone else."

"It's alway easy to talk to Uriah." He answers as if that was all the explanation she needed. Tris sees him hesitate. "Your dad... Is it still fresh in your mind? His arm? The whole scene?"

She nods slowly.

"Do you remember after Uriah's game, you got sick? I came to check on you to see if you were alright. Was it... was it because Rita reminded you of...?"

"Yes." She whispers.

"And in Christina's game, Molly's leg got stuck in the rocks. You threw up after we all saw it on the screen. Was this also for the same reason?"

Tris screws her eyes shut from the memory. When she opens them, she can see Zeke nodding in thought as he searches her face with concern, and she rubs her eyes again.

"When you do that, you remind me of Caleb." She murmurs. "He is so... smart and meticulous. One look and he could tell exactly what's wrong."

"Huh," Zeke responds, his voice low. "You just described yourself."

Quite the opposite.

She tightens her ponytail to avoid eye contact as Zeke taps his fingers against his knee. "I'm going to offer you some feedback. Narrate your situation from my perspective."

Tris chews on her lip in consideration before finally allowing Zeke to speak.

"I think what happened with you is so recent that you're still not over it. You keep asking me how I moved from my past, and I'm sure you must wonder that about everyone."

He waits until she faces him again. "But what you need to understand is that everyone is different. For many of us here, things happened to us when we were small. You need more time to heal."

He shakes his head in slight irritation. "Not even that, you needed comfort from the people around you. Or someone. Your brother, he found his comfort with his girlfriend and left." His voice is low as he enunciates the next sentence. "I know you think he helped you, but he left you. He left you alone and you just... shut down. Like you said, you lost yourself."

"So I'm glad you opened up to me, Tris," Zeke tells her as he gestures in her general direction. "You said you became more emotional and vulnerable ever since we got kidnapped here, but I really think it's been for the better. Don't keep blaming yourself. You need to accept it and stop letting it affect your decisions in life. Especially in this goddamned place. Okay?"

"Okay." She whispers.

"What?"

"Okay." Tris repeats, voice firm. "Okay."

But Tris was not 'okay'. This was the fourth person that had given her the same advice, it wasn't your fault, move on. Tori, Caleb, Four, and now Zeke.

Except it didn't matter how many times someone told her, she would always feel guilty.

And it sucked. That she couldn't listen to Four's advice. She couldn't even listen to her own fucking brother either.

Zeke leans back against his palms and exhales as Tris traces the stitches on the blue mat. She didn't want to talk about her past anymore.

"You keep worrying about Eric and me." She finally states, moving on to her next question. "And you're right, there's always someone 'saving me' from him. Why? Why do you care? What did he do?"

The friendliness on his face melts away. Talk about ruining the moment.

That's all it takes for Tris's mood to shift from being neutral to vexed. Why won't anyone fucking fill me in?

"You're not going to tell me." She deadpans.

"No, I-"

"You what? If you're going to tell me to stay away from him, I need to know why."

Zeke sucks his cheeks in as his face remains inexpressive.

"Fine. Four wouldn't tell me shit. He doesn't like to talk about it. Now you, you insist I stay away from Eric because he has me as his next target. But you're not telling me either? I'm pretty sure even Lynn knows! You know what? Just forget it, I'll ask Uriah. You're right, it is easier to talk to him."

"Alright, Tris, fine. Just... sit back down and lower your voice." He reasons before she can continue with her outburst.

Tris follows Zeke's gaze as it flits over to Shauna and Four, who'd both turned from their knife lesson to stare at them. Four catches her eye and searches her face, but Tris quickly looks away.

She pulls at the strings of her hoodie and seats herself further away from Zeke. She didn't even realize she was standing and practically raising her voice loud enough for them to hear.

Zeke shoots a smile over his shoulder but Tris doesn't turn around. She waits until he finally interlocks his fingers together after countless glances behind her to make sure Four and Shauna were no longer listening.

"You better hope for your life they didn't hear that." Zeke hisses.

Tris bites her lip. "I wouldn't have necessarily cared if they did hear."

Zeke scowls at her, then rubs his forehead in defeat. "No one knows how and where Eric came from. He just... appeared."

He sighs at her irritated expression. "One day no one knew he existed, and the next day, he's walking down the street as if he's lived in our area his entire life."

"The city is big, he probably-"

"I'm pretty positive Uriah and I have gone in every single corner of Chicago- we've seen just about everyone." Zeke blows out a gush of air when her face still doesn't show understanding. "Just imagine your own home. One random day someone sits down and starts eating breakfast or walking around as if he's lived with you since forever. That's... weird, right? That's how Eric was. He walked down our street like he knew exactly where he was going. As if he'd walked the paths he was going multiple times."

"Alright, so he fits in very well." Tris prompts, waiting to hear what was so bad about him. She patiently waits for him to choose his words.

"He just... walks up to a lady and-"

His voice falters and Tris feels her gaze turn into a glare. "Tell me."

Zeke mumbles something under his breath.

"He what?"

"He grabbed her," Zeke states cautiously. "slapped her, and pulled her to the back of a building."

Tris remains quiet. "Where were you when this happened?"

"It was night. You know those little tables outside of ice cream or coffee shops? Me, Uriah, and Four were sitting there across the street. It was quiet. Eric stood out because we always went out for ice cream, so to see this random guy walking past- we noticed."

Tris looks down at her hands and shuts her eyes in an attempt to picture the scene in front of her. When was the last time she'd been out eating with friends? Perhaps with Caleb, or those mandatory hangout sessions you needed to have with people to keep relationships steady. Oh how awful those were, Tris would eat her ice cream in silence, offering a fake smile or distant nod to act engaged into the boring conversations in front of her.

She ends up illustrating a coffee shop in her mind. A small shop in the corner with colorful decor everywhere. Hidden, but with the best coffee and snacks. It was the shop she'd go to with her father almost all the time.

The shop where she no longer liked going to, because that was where the accident happened.

Tris imagines herself going to the counter and being handed her order right away after being recognized. Coffee, and a brown bag of chocolate croissants. Like a routine, she steps out the shop after hearing the sound of the little bell and seats herself in a small chair with an umbrella covering the top of her head.

The air is cool but still. So still, she could hear the sound of her jeans rubbing against each other every time she moved her thighs. Then, a man walks down the sidewalk across the street. She was the only one out, and she watches him stroll with purpose to the side of an apartment building, where a woman probably a few years older than her was placing her trash.

He reaches her and suddenly darts his arm out. The sound of his palm slapping against her face echoes into the quiet night. Like the sound of skin hitting metal. He catches her by the waist before she can slam onto the ground, smacks another hand over her mouth to suppress her scream, glances around, and pulls her into the little dark alley.

"Keep going," Tris instructs with her eyes still shut. "What did you do next?"

"We got up and tried to run across the street like our life depended on it. When we reached the side of the building, he wasn't there. Like I said, he knew his way around and he somehow dragged this lady through a bunch of pathways to get in a hidden alley."

Tris can feel the panic course her veins as she blindly runs across the street, food long forgotten. She sprints through the alley and stops, only the sound of her own fast breathing evident. She was alone, the man nowhere to be seen.

"So did you just leave?"

"No, at first we decided we'd split up. But, Four started running and we just followed him. We came to a dead end."

Tris opens her mouth, then closes it when she sees Zeke isn't done.

"That's where we saw." His face looks like he's swallowing something painful as he stammers. "We saw Eric with the lady lying on her stomach, blood everywhere. She was facedown, and Eric was crouched over her."

"What was he doing?" Tris questions, cringing from her own imagination of blood pooling from the woman's head onto the pavement underneath her.

"I'm not sure."

Tris finally opens her eyes, freeing herself from the images of the scene. "What do you mean you're not sure?"

Zeke shakes his head. "Four... beat the absolute crap out of him before we could blink."

"How long ago was this?" Tris inquires after a long moment.

Zeke crosses, then uncrosses his arms. "Maybe when I was 17 or 18."

He stands suddenly. "I'm starting to get a cramp. Let's practice as we talk."

Tris stretches after pushing herself upright and walks a few steps backward.

"Was the lady okay after?" She demands, "Were you able to save her?"

They both take their stances. "Yes. Alive and well after a few days."

Zeke bounces toward her and swings an arm toward her head. Tris ducks instantly.

"Nice reflex."

Tris blows out a quick breath and makes a show of swiping at her forehead.

He flicks his head to the side to get some of his hair out of his face. "Tris, I just want you to be careful, Eric is fucking sick. He didn't show any emotion at the scene. It's like he enjoyed it."

She doesn't say anything. She didn't know what to say.

They circle each other and he tilts his head to the side when he realizes Tris isn't going to respond. "Any more questions?"

Tris blocks Zeke's next punch with the back of her arm. She fakes a right, then lightly thumps his stomach.

"Can you tell me what Four's personality is like? Even before the games?"

Zeke furrows his eyebrows before understanding dawns on him.

"Are you talking about his mood swings?"

She shifts uncomfortably before jumping to her left last minute, feeling Zeke's leg brush against her thigh.

"I don't know, it's weird, Zeke, okay? I never noticed, but he's always so candid and sweet with me, but with everyone else he has this entirely different demeanor. And that just made me realize, I don't know him. I don't know who he really is. He switches from being nice to an aloof and intimidating guy within seconds."

Zeke's expression softens as he lowers his fists for a moment. "Four has always had... a rough start. We took him a year or two after my dad's death."

Tris darts forward and moves to elbow his ribs but he catches her wrist. He twists her arm and her back slams against his chest.

She tries to wiggle from his grasp but quickly gives up. He lets her go and she steps to the side. She really didn't feel like sparring at all.

"In the beginning, he was always so aloof like you just said. He was quiet, did everything he was told, never became wild or snuck out of the house like Uriah or me. It's like, he was afraid to have fun."

Tris frowns as she looks down and lowers her voice. "Or too scared to upset your mom."

He narrows his eyes when she glances up. "What?"

"I know a very very summed up version of his past," Tris answers while studying her hands to prevent herself from showing her unsettled expression.

Zeke's voice is gentle. "He's just scared of being like his father. He refrains from showing you the violent and apathetic side of him."

She gasps when his knuckles collide into her shoulder. He probably meant for it to be soft, but it leaves a sting instead. Tris rubs her shoulder and he gives her an apologetic smile.

"I just think... I wouldn't have reacted differently with him if he was just himself."

He frowns. "Oh, Tris, he is being himself. Don't be mad, just talk it out with him. But both sides, the sweet and the cold are both who Four is." Zeke walks closer to her and she stiffens before realizing he isn't going to hit her. He bumps his shoulder against hers. "Kind of like you. You're not that different from these 'mood swings' either."

She looks up at him. After a second, she nods slightly in thought.

Tris brings her knee up in slow motion and pretends to knee him in between his legs. He steps back and quickly pushes her leg away.

She drops her curled fists. "I- thank you, Zeke."

"Don't thank me." He answers kindly.

Tris gives him a smile and they both step away from each other. She springs toward him and twists her body so she can finally smash her foot onto his torso. Instead, Zeke swipes his foot under her and knocks her to the ground.

She lets out a loud yelp and groans in pain.

"Zeke! Wrong leg you idiot, wrong leg." She gasps as she clutches her bandaged ankle close to her.

He crouches down instantly and holds her foot carefully to inspect it. "Shit, I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention."

"Okayyy, I think that's enough, how about we finally take a break?" Shauna calls loudly while placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "Doesn't a break sound nice? I think we've had enough of your solemn faces for the morning."

Tris hadn't realized she'd snuck up on the both of them.

"Sounds like a plan." Four remarks as Zeke gently places her leg back onto the mat. She looks up when she realizes Four was holding her sandals. He must've picked them up from the side of the mat where she had tossed them carelessly to practice with Zeke earlier. "You've both been talking for more than half an hour."

She grabs her shoes from him and slips them both on.

"You okay?" Four asks as he observes Tris with a small frown. She nods.

Zeke grins. "I was entertaining her with my wild childhood stories."

"Boring her to death seemed more like it." Shauna shoots back.

"Wouldn't be hard to believe that." Four adds.

Zeke makes a face and looks over at Tris. They all burst into laughter as she pushes herself up.

In that moment, she looks around at the people in front of her, bickering away, and she smiles widely. To share a laugh among a group of friends...

She missed it.

Tris savors the feeling and enjoys the moment, for once, forgetting about the games and wanting to escape.

It could wait.

A/N- Thanks to the people that came back and reviewed, or to the new people who started following this story! I love you so much and appreciate you guys!

This chapter was basically just a conversation the whole time, sorry if you were ever bored, but I think Tris really needed some closure in the things that Four or anyone else wouldn't tell her.

Also, I'm sorry if the writing is bad or poor, it's been so long since I've written that I'm pretty sure I've forgotten how to write- so the sentences seem so basic. Don't worry, I'll improve and get more descriptive again hopefully.

I promise next chapter we'll get more activity though. AND more of Four.

Review please please please, I enjoy your responses soo much!

Next update is FRIDAY!