Chapter 2

Lateness? Blame Mr. Wi-Fi. Also, shoutout to Israel Pena and darklord23414 for favourite and following. (Darklord didn't favourite though) ALMOST 50 VIEWS!

Disclamier:

Me: Say it…

Kakashi: The following is what was said for the disclaimer last chapter.

(Fangirls: AHHHHHHH!)

Kakashi: Ignore them.

Me: You're my favourite character in the games you know.

Kakashi: That's what they all say… Enjoy. (I do the enjoy in a different font on Word)

Opening: Sanjou! Ginyu Tokusentai! (0:00 – 1:20) [Or you could just watch the whole thing for the true theme]

Family Meeting

"FAMILY MEETING!" A loud bang of a spoon and a frying ringed through the (gasp) Habitable Official Man-made Manageable Earth-house. Or you can call it HOMME. Not sure about manageable though. The voice who cried out the sacred tradition was none other than Tobi himself. He was the only that had enough energy in him to even wake up that sleeping whale in the sea, keep in mind that whale destroyed their first base, so this is their second. "FAMILY MEETING! FAMILY MEETING! FAMILY- " "SHUT UP!" shouted a familiar voice, probably Hidan feeling what he called "satisfaction". The grey-haired man sat in his room a staff inside his shoulder. "SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO BE HAPPY HERE!" "BUT YOU DON'T SOUND HAPPY HIDAN-SAN." Tobi shouted back, their shouts ringing through the house, even making the one rat they couldn't eliminate reconsider taking that cake in the fridge. "OF COURSE, HE'S NOT!" shouted the recovering Kisame as he had been sleeping with the fishes in his fish tank. The fishes loved the shark-man. Weird, huh. He was laying on the floor, wet. "YOU JUST MADE SOME NOISE." "HEY! THAT REMINDS ME OF A SONG!" remembered Tobi. "DON'T SAY IT, IT'LL PROBABLY GET BACK IN MY HEAD AGAIN." Shouted a clearly angered Deidara. No change in him then. He was listening to one of those 'ear rape' videos and just as the sound came, Tobi's banging came along and magnified the sound to about a 100%. "DEIDARA-SENPAI!" "HE CAN'T HERE YOU." Shouted Itachi as he was in the toilet, reading a newspaper, which was ten years old. He knew that Deidara had headphones on and that racket of Tobi's would make it so that through some way the volume would increase due to the headset thinking the + button was pressed. The way he shouted do was somewhat calm, the man who did impossibilities. "WHAT? I CAN'T HERE YOU!" "WHAT'D SAY?" "WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?" asked a loud Hidan as he dragged the staff out of his shoulder. "NO! NONE OF THAT, SHAME ON YOU!" shouted Deidara as he realized what Hidan said was a cartoon reference. "LOL!" laughed Tobi. "SHUT UP, TOBI!" shouted everyone in the building. In the Lounge - The Lounge was a very nice room, it had the most comfortable sofas in the whole ninja world, owned by Pein through "burrowing" it. The best thing about the sofas was, that they were native only to the person it was designed for. There was also a large TV and there was an extra fridge filled with soda and junk food but that's not important. Tobi's was orange while a small swirl, it was more of a recliner though. The best thing on it though, was a remote with up, down, and swerve buttons. Oh yeah, there was the vibrating button which the man-boy had pressed and was relaxing in the ever-moving chair. Man's best friend. (Not Tobi, the chair.) Tobi wore a black t-shirt the had yellow spiked hair on the back, wonder who that hair belonged to. He wore red Puma shorts too. His grey socks were exposed, leaving a barely noticeable smell in the room. Deidara's was yellow and more of an armchair, king-sized, just because. It had a remote also, but with less features. Although it did have a pleasure button, but let's just say the man uses the button at night. The blonde wore a grey t-shirt with the number's 69 because you can make that number with your hands. (I know you just tried it~) He wore black Puma trousers, too. Don't forget the white faker sneakers! (He wore because they were cool) Itachi's was a gaming chair. Maybe I shouldn't have used the term sofas. It was an armchair and had multiple features on its remote. It was an X-Rocker. Usually, gaming chairs had stains, were worn out, or just had left food on them but Itachi's was neat and looked like it was new, even traces of a butt print could not be seen. He wore a black vest with the traditional Uchiha logo on it. Black trousers belonged to Adidas was what he owned as well. He wore black sandals. I guess he learned a habit of wearing black from Kirito. Kisame's wasn't a sofa or a chair. It was a water-chair. In fact, Kisame had his own mini water pool, filled with real fish. Kisame loved his water bed. It was king-sized too. What'd you think he had? He wore only a white swimming short. For some reason, it had a shrink button and a GROW one too. It was royal blue. Sasori's was basically a corner sofa bed. But he didn't really need items of comfort, as he was a puppet but through the magic of being a bit human (and me), he could feel comfort. His "real body" was spread out on one side (draw me like one of your French girls pose) and his past puppet creations laid on the other side (heads only). The redhead wore a red t-rex onesie, that will be revealed later. Hidan's was basically just a chair with multiple weapons coming out of it, Pein got it from a tribe, although they didn't agree with the ginger-man taking their chair. It was stained with blood and included little white dots of grey. Hidan wore a tank top vest which was either red or used to be white. He wore grey shorts. Kakuzu was just a sofa. But it was filled with money and the skin was money. Nuff said. He wore his mask, (hey, when he doesn't have the mask, he kind of looks like titan Eren.) a black polo t-shirt, jeans, and blue slippers. Zetsu was his own bed. Pein had the most comfortable bed of all, a traditional armchair. So, it had no buttons or remotes. It had fur which was taken from a beaver (did you know they use beaver fur in mitts and hats?). The man would probably have worn a business suit but because of AKATSUKI TOKUSENTAI, he wore a black t-shirt with red clouds over it. He wore grey puma trousers with a white line on each side. He wore white bunny slippers. Konan's was second to comfort, an armchair, queen-sized. It was white and looked like as if a talented artist had created a chair origami as touching it would create paper creases. Beautiful. She wore a blue t-shirt and white shorts, cause they're cool. She wore real sneakers, same reason as Deidara. Now, let's go back to speech and stuff. "…" "…" "…" "…" ".." "…" "…" "dotdotdot." "Not funny, Tobi." "Sorry Deidara-senpai!" "What's this meeting for anyway, we aren't even family. Just call it a "Team Meeting."." "Well," started Pein, "It's called a Family Meeting because we all live in the same house and you can blame Tobi for that name." "That's me!" waved Tobi as he looked like he was have a seizure on the vibrating chair. "KILL HIM." Shouted Hidan. "Now, now. No blood needs to be shed. Did you know the carpet you put your feet on," Everyone looked at the floor to see everyone but Tobi's, Pein's, Sasori's and Konan's feet on the floor. (Sasori was too busy daydreaming to even look at feet though) "Is 10% of your wages." "…" "THE HELL MAN?!" raged Deidara. "Sorry, but it's for your living, you can put your feet up anyways." Everyone that had their feet on the floor did just that. "Blame the people we pay rent to, then?" asked Kakuzu. "Yes, blame them." Coughed Pein. "…" "…" "…" "So…" started Deidara. Everyone turned their attention on him (except Sasori). "Why is Sasori-dama wearing a dinosaur onesie?" Now everyone's eyes were on the daydreaming Sasori. You could tell it in his eyes, he was thinking about something. He kind of looked sad. "Sasori-senpai? You okay?" asked Tobi, a worried look going over his… face… "Huh? Oh, sorry, just thinking about my girlfriend in a swimsuit." Explained Sasori mindlessly as he woke up from his dream land. "…" "…" "…" "…" Sasori's eyes went wide when he realized what he just said. "Then he realized. He messed up." Smirked Deidara as he put his head onto his hand. "God dammit Deidara." He suddenly turned into a death glare, "You don't even have one to think about." "…" "Savage." Itachi said as he high fived Kisame. "W-Why are you wearing a dinosaur onesie, though? That's for kids." Countered Sasori. "My Grandma gave it to me. It was too big for me at first. But I'm 34 now and it fits. Just want to relive memories." Sasori glanced at the floor, suddenly feeling that something was going to come up, and he wouldn't like it. "Aaaawwww…" smiled everyone except Deidara and Pein. "Sasori-senpai! I didn't know you cared about your realitives that much!" stated Tobi. "I only said one though- " "I don't remember my relatives, though-" "Skater Rin…ks." Tobi flinched. For the first time ever, Tobi flinched. What was worse was, everyone saw it. "Woah, Tobi did you just flinch?" Deidara smiled. "Oh, I should've recorded that." Laughed Hidan. "Mom get the camera?" referenced Kakuzu. "Hehe, good one." Laughed Kisame. "My life has reached a step closer to being fulfilled." Stated Itachi. "…"
"HAWHAWHAR!" The five guys laughed at Itachi's statement. "AAHHHHHHHHH!" a cry was heard from somewhere far AND near away. It sounded… girlish? "What was that?" asked Hidan as he looked around the area for the screamers. "Ignore them." Itachi gave off a single shake. "Who?" "The… the…" Itachi's eyes couldn't be seen he looked up, half his face shaded. "The fangirls." "…" Everybody waited for Tobi to say something stupid. "Dun-dun-daa." Bored Tobi. "Woah, what happened to you man?" inquired Deidara. "It's just…" "Just what?" "I don't like Skater Rinks." "-_-" "-_-" "The world is ending." Everyone looked confused at leader-sama. "If Tobi says he dislikes something thousands – no, millions – of people AND animals like; it spells doom for us all." "0_0" "0_0 "o_0" "Bitch, please." Deidara's face took on the meme. "If the world was ending, it would be because of the Buju's deciding to kill everyone- " "RAWR!" a cry was heard from The Basement. It was loud and tingles crept down everyone's spine. "Tobi, skater rinks are places that are fun and everyone there likes you. There is ice." "That sounds cool." "GOD DAMMIT, TOBI!" "I guess I won't be ice-solated." "DON'T YOU- " "No need to be so cold, Deidara-senpai." "TRY ME, TRY ME." "Sorry, Deidara-senpai. But I think just-ice, is on my side (Pein and Konan)." "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU" "Snow thanks, I'm fine." "KILL HIM-" "It's so ice to have you in the conversation as well Hidan!" "NO! I'M OUT!" "Snow can do for, Deidara-senpai, though. But take a chill pill." "C2 DRAGON!" Deidara called out. "Stop." The word of Pein-sama was final, Deidara was stopped before he could destroy the ceiling of the Lounge. Tobi stopped cracking ice puns. (I'm going to stop.) "Now, to discuss the whole meaning of this meeting," "All my hate…" muttered Deidara. "…" "…" "Ahem, Tobi?" reminded Pein. "O-Oh. DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNN." Tobi shouted, doing jazz hands whislt doing so. "Son of a b- " "I got us tickets to go to anywhere we want in the summer~." Announced Pein as he held up 9 tickets that had "special" SVIP stickers on them (Super Very Intellectualy-retarded Person). "…" "…" "…" "There's going to be beaches~." Somethings rose in the room and made a slight noise, it belonged to Kakuzu, Hidan, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, and Deidara as they felt something somewhere but they just couldn't and wouldn't put a finger on it. "I won't let my dreams by dreams then." Mumbled Sasori. "What do you mean?" questioned Tobi, a look of confusion on his face. "You heard nothing." Deadpanned Sasori. "Heard what?" "Good boy." "Now, the Family Meeting is out of session." Everyone stood up and raced for the door. "Wasted 30 minutes of my life… on Tobi." Groaned Deidara as he launched for the door. "Where are you going?" appeared Pein. "Somewhere." "Where?" "On Earth." "Where on earth?" "On the ground?" "Where on the ground?" "20 minutes on my C2 Dragon from here." "20 minutes where on the ground?" Deidara frowned, now the questions were getting harder. "At a video game store." "Tomorrow." "God dammit, Pein!" The Next Day - "What do you want?" Pein frowned as he opened the door to see Deidara. Leader-sama himself was wearing a bathrobe and his ginger hair was wet, so nothing out of ordinary going on with him. "I'm having a little private time." "Do you mean the art of pleasure?" "No. Actually, yes. I'm creating the Akatsuki Tokusentai banner. With Konan." "Well enjoy yourself, but don't get too wild with her. I know- " "HE DOESN'T KNOW ME AT ALL, PEIN." Shouted Konan inside the room. Pein glared at him, "Get to the point." "Well you see… Can I go now?" "With Tobi." "no." "Deal or No Deal." "Fine." "Yay!" shouted Tobi as he suddenly appeared behind Deidara. "JAYSUS CHRIST!" shouted Deidara as he jumped whislt turning around. "Oh, sorry Deidara-senpai." "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" "Well, when I was in school- " "WAS. A. RHE. TORICAL. QUESTION!" "You have to explain first why you want to go to the video game store." "Ok, you see- " "In front of everyone." "God dammit Pein."
"FAMILY MEETING!" shouted Tobi as he started loudly banging a spoon and pan from earlier. "HOW DID YOU GET THAT." Shouted Deidara as he covered his ears. "MUFFIN BUTTON." "WHAT?" "HUH?" "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" "IF HE CAN'T HEAR ME, NO ONE CAN!" "WHAT?" An Hour Later - "Oh boy, this is going to be LIT!" smirked Hidan as he held out a camera. "Now, say why you want to go to the video game store." Commanded Pein. "Sigh…" Deidara looked away and did Piccolo's facepalm. "I wanted to go to the video game story to get…" He rubbed his hand down his face. "A dating simulator game." "…" "…" "…" "Aaand sent to social media and everything." Laughed Hidan as he witnesses the absolute shock on Deidara's face. "Let's go Deidara-senpai!" urged Tobi as he dragged the white Deidara down the hallway to the door. "I'm sure you will get a girlfriend with those dating simulators! Weeeee!" Tobi literally pushed down the door and ran outside with the still shocked Deidara. And what will happen next? Going with Tobi to get something looks like something bad will happen! Oh well, more joy for you and me. NEXT TIME, ON AKATSUKI TOKUSENTAI "This one?" "No." "This one?" "No." "This one?" "That's a chainsaw." "This one?" "That's an explicit body part- wait. WHAT THE HELL? THAT'S POR- " "Huh?" Deidara jumped to cover Tobi's one-eye. "You saw nothing."