Rodney had to go to his office to organise the video messages. He couldn't set a delayed release from his laptop for some reason, as he'd discovered the previous night. Even though it had been emotional to do, he was really glad to have done it. He felt calmer and refreshed, and Carson even commented to him that evening that he was looking better. That feeling had stayed with him for the entire next day - except for when Carson had sat at the table and glanced at his laptop. It was then he decided that he would put the messages in the database, encrypted for delayed sending until after he was gone, and found that he couldn't. Turns out he didn't need to be so worried, as Carson had been more than happy to just snuggle in bed all evening.

Honestly, he felt good. It was all going to end soon, so he was taking in the last of everything. He smiled at the people who passed him on his way, even saying good morning to some. Even when Radek came up to him and asked how he was, he honestly could respond 'better'. He paused at the window just before his office, and looked out over the city. It really was a lovely day - bright warm sun shining in a cloudless sky, the water glistening in the sun's reflections. He breathed in deeply, smelling the fresh salty air. A good day to die. Rodney thought to himself, smiling at himself for the nerdy Star Trek reference.

It didn't take him long to edit the messages and get them ready. Tomorrow morning should be enough time, he thought to himself. He set the time, and then laid back. He felt a fleeting wave of panic wash over him at the thought that he was committed now, but it didn't last long. He just felt calm again thinking that it was almost over.

Time to go see Carson. Rodney stood up and had one last look at his office, not bothering to clean it up any, and left. It was a bit sad to leave it, but like a good sad. The sad he felt when leaving his childhood room to move out for university. Like better things were ahead.

He arrived in the infirmary after having taken his time on the walk there, taking in his surroundings one last time. He walked right up to Carson, who looked at him with a face of both concern and joy.

"Rodney love, what's the matter?"

"Oh, um… I just feel like I need to be here." Rodney responded, trying hard not to lie at all to his boyfriend.

"Are you hurt?" Carson asked, hinting at the self harming. He dearly hoped that Rodney hadn't done that again.

"No, no cuts. Just … I need to see you."

Carson sighed in relief, and dropped his doctor's guard.
"That's good love. I'm glad you came to me." Carson smiled, happy Rodney was trying to follow his care plan.

"I … I know you're busy, and so I wondered if I could just sit in your office for a bit?"

"I don't mind having you around, but I agree it's a little cramped for just sitting space out here. I'll be in in a minute."

Rodney nodded, and walked into Carson office. He glanced out towards the busy doctor, and when he was certain he wasn't being watched, he began to look about for the keys to the cabinet. He didn't want to ruffle about things too much, but he just couldn't see them sitting out anywhere. He groaned to himself, and noticed Carson walking his way. It was just in the way his labcoat gently billowed as he walked that Rodney realised that the keys would, of course, be in Carson's coat.

Carson sat down in his seat and looked at Rodney.

"Can I help in any way, love?" Carson asked. Rodney's mind ran about quickly, and came up with a new plan.

"Um, yeah… could you, um, just give me a hug?" Rodney asked, knowing Carson would oblige.

"Of course love."

Carson stood and hugged Rodney while he was in the chair. Rodney wrapped his arms around the Scot's middle, and buried his face into Carson's belly. Carson stroked Rodney's hair gently.

"Carson? Do you mind if you take off your coat? It's just it feels more like just being cared for by a doctor not my boyfriend."

Carson raised his eyebrow at Rodney's request, not quite understanding, but complied. He took his labcoat off and draped it over his chair, and put the stethoscope on his desk. He returned to hug Rodney, the same way as before.

"Thank you, Carson. This is just what I wanted." Rodney said, knowing that what he meant wasn't what Carson heard. He also knew it could be considered a bit mean, or bastardly, but he didn't care. He only had one thing left to do for his entire life.

After a few minutes, Rodney released Carson, who went back to sitting in his chair.

"It's getting a bit late in the day, would you like to have lunch?" Rodney asked, sounding innocent.

"Um, my shift doesn't end for a little…I can't really leave for too long…"

"No no, I don't want to leave. I… I just can't be around other people in the mess hall right now. I was hoping you could go get something and bring it here?" Rodney interrupted, and looked at Carson with wide eyes. The doctor's resolve melted in the blue depths of those pleading eyes, and so sighed and nodded.

"Alright Rodney. But we have food trays here…"

"I know but it's not really special. I kinda want it to be a nice lunch with you." Rodney spoke, which was still true. He did want his last meal with Carson to be special.

"I know, I just thought I'd mention it." Carson stood, and went to grab his coat. Quickly, Rodney jumped up and hugged him again.

"Thank you for caring for me." Rodney spoke, wanting to have said that anyway, but glad it served another purpose. Carson smiled and hugged back, glad to be doing a good job.

"Any time, love. I won't be long." Carson said, and left his office without putting on his coat.

Rodney sat there a moment to be sure Carson wouldn't come back, and pushed the thoughts of manipulating his boyfriend out of his head. He then dove his hand into the coat pockets, finding the keychain in the second one he tried. He walked out of the office and directly to the cabinet, which luckily was close by. He didn't look around to make it seem suspicious, and no one made any noises to stop him. He looked at the keys, and saw the small one he remembered. He put it in the lock, swiftly opened the door, grabbed a whole box of the medication, and then closed the cabinet again. He walked back into the office, slipped the keys back into the same pocket, and hid the box in the pocket of the large jacket he was wearing. He squished the box to make it seem less conspicuous, and then sat still waiting for Carson to get back.

They sat and ate lunch together, not really talking all that much. Carson felt a bit calmer inside seeing Rodney there, munching on food like he used to, smiling occasionally when he caught him staring. Rodney loved seeing the Scot smile, and wanted that to be the last thing he remembered of Carson. Those shimmering blue eyes full of care. He couldn't stop and think about changing his mind because of Carson, but he still felt a deep sadness inside for what was to come. After eating, they placed their trays on Carson's desk.

"Thank you, Carson, for everything." Rodney spoke, and gave his boyfriend one last kiss.

"Always here love, I enjoyed the lunch too." Carson responded, and smiled while Rodney left.