Two years following the events of "The Foundation"
BANG. BANG.
Someone on the Wall surrounding Jackson screamed in pain.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
Tim lowered his rifle as the last attacking Bandit stumbled to the ground and laid still.
Tim looked at Matthew, who was also lowering his crossbow.
Matthew turned to him and opened his mouth to speak.
"Jeff!"
Tim and Matthew spun around as Joey jumped off the Wall and onto the streets of Jackson, running to Jeff.
Tim gasped at the two bullet wounds in Jeff's chest. The blood flowed through young man's white t-shirt and into his blue jeans.
Matthew nodded at someone on the Wall to take his place and jumped onto the street. He took off his black sweater that he wore over his blue shirt and jeans before placing it on Jeff's wound, eliciting a weak grunt.
Tim jumped down and ran forward with his own sweater, feeling the spring breeze penetrate his tattered red t-shirt. Tim placed his blue sweater on the second bullet wound in Jeff's chest.
"Can you help him?" Joey asked Matthew desperately.
"No," Matthew said quietly, bowing his head.
Fear filled Jeff's eyes as he looked at his wounds. His eyes flicked desperately from side to side.
Joey grasped Jeff's shoulder.
Jeff grunted again and touched Joey's black jacket, staining it with his blood. "Joey…"
"You're going to be fine," Joey said as his eyes started to water.
Jeff shook his head. "Vun…"
"What?" Joey asked, leaning closer.
Tim looked down at the ground, knowing what was coming. Knowing that nobody could do anything to stop it.
"What…" Joey asked again as tears fell from his eyes. "What's Vun?"
Jeff tightened his grip on Joey's jacket and laid back. He slowly closed his eyes.
Jeff's hand fell to Joey's jeans.
Matthew shook his head.
Tim let out a breath. He barely noticed that some of the blood had slowly seeped through the thin sweater and onto his hands.
The morning sun rose and illuminated the entire scene.
"Jeff!" Joey shouted, shaking Jeff's shoulder. Tears continued to fall from his eyes. "Jeff, wake up!"
"He's gone," Matthew said gently, releasing his grip on the sweater.
"No!" Joey said, looking around franticly. "Heather can help him! Heather!"
Heather ran forward and crouched beside Jeff, her white shirt and blue jeans already stained with the blood of another wounded guard on the Wall. She looked at Joey and shook her head.
Joey looked down and shut his eyes. "Fuck…"
Ellie ran forward wearing a green sweater and blue jeans. "Oh no…"
Tim sagged to the ground.
Heather placed a hand on Joey's back as he started to shake, his hand still grasping Jeff's shoulder.
Ellie moved forward and placed a hand on Matthew's shoulder. He touched her hand briefly as a tear fell from his eye.
Tim looked down and saw the blood on his own hands.
Crimson liquid covered his hands. Drops of blood fell from his blade and to the ground. His clothes were freshly stained red.
Tim immediately stood and staggered away from Jeff's body and those mourning him.
Matthew stood with him. "You gonna be okay?" he asked.
"Tim," Ellie called.
Tim slowly turned.
Ellie walked forward, placing her other hand on Joey's shoulder.
Tim turned to Ellie as a tear flowed from his eye.
Ellie looked own for a moment. "I'm sorry you had to see this," she said softly.
Tim didn't answer.
"If you need anything," Ellie said. She kept looking at Tim, but also tightened her grip on Joey's shoulder. "You know where I am."
Tim remained silent. He turned and walked away as emotions rushed in.
Tim reached his house a short while later. He opened the front door with shaking hands as the events of the morning replayed in his head. From Jeff joining Tim and Joey on the Wall to the moment that the Bandit's ran from the trees.
Tim looked up and saw his eleven-year-old sister at the table. She was wearing purple t-shirt and pants.
After a second, Clarisse looked up from her drawing and gasped. "Are you okay?" she asked quickly. "Did something happen?"
"I'm fine," Tim said. He started walking toward his room, not meeting her eyes.
Clarisse stood and blocked his path with a look of fear in her own eyes. "Whose blood is that?"
"Jeff's," Tim answered without thinking as he turned to wash his hands in the sink.
"Is he…" Clarisse looked at Tim's face and seemed to know the answer. She ran forward and attempted to hug him. "I'm sor—"
Tim grabbed her outstretched arms and stopped her, pushing her away slightly. He felt frustration and anger start to rise within him. He knelt and spoke softly. "I need… I need you to go hang out with Lin for a while, okay? I need to be alone."
"Are you sure?" Clarisse asked.
"Go," Tim said firmly.
Clarisse grabbed her paper, pencil, and shoes. She stopped at the door for a moment before leaving and pulling it shut behind her.
Tim walked into his room, opened the closet door, and grabbed a can of beer.
…
Ellie arrived home as the afternoon sun warmed her. She walked into the house and was immediately greeted by Joel, who was wearing a red sweater and brown pants. He reached out to Ellie.
"I wasn't there," Ellie said, attempting to keep him at a distance. "Not until the end."
"Everyone else okay?" Joel asked, stepping back.
"Okay as in alive?" Ellie said, allowing some of her lingering sadness and anger out. "Yeah, but—"
"Shh," Joel said softly, pointing behind him. "Clarisse is in your room."
"Is she okay?" Ellie said, forcing back her emotions. She didn't wait for an answer. "Tim was probably a little shook up. I'll go talk to her."
"She's fine," Joel said, blocking her path. "You should take a minute, kiddo."
"I can't," Ellie said quietly. "I got too much shit to do. I have to set up for the meeting at the Foundation tonight."
Joel tipped his head. "I thought you said somebody was covering that meeting so that you could—"
"Relax?" Ellie completed. She looked away as emotions started to take over again. "Like that's going to happen. As it is, Jeff was supposed to take over for me tonight. But then he had to get himself…" Ellie forced herself to stop talking and shook her head as her eyes began to water again.
Joel placed a hand on Ellie's shoulder and pulled her into a hug that she accepted.
"It's not fair," Ellie whispered. "He was just turning into a good guy and he gets shot. And now Joey's—"
"Joey's a strong kid," Joel said gently, letting go of her. "He's got strong friends. Family. He'll be fine."
Ellie nodded and took off her coat. She took in a breath and allowed the emotions to enter. Five seconds later, she let the breath out and allowed the emotions to fade as best they could.
"Tommy called me," Joel said as they walked further into the house. "He said that your boyfriend's going to help out with the emergency shift changes and Heather's working with the doctor to get everyone who got hurt sorted out."
"Yeah," Ellie said, calmer now. "Joey volunteered to help out too… I'm going to talk to Clarisse."
Ellie walked into her bedroom to see Clarisse sitting on the bed, drawing.
Clarisse looked up and immediately covered her drawing. "It's not done yet."
"No sneak peeks, huh?" Ellie asked, hoping that she sounded calm and somewhat cheerful.
Clarisse shook her head.
Ellie sat down on the bed. "That's okay. How are you?"
"Better than Timmy," Clarisse answered. She pushed her hair out of her eyes. "He said that Jeff… died and asked me to hang out with Lin."
"You want me to invite her over?" Ellie asked, hoping to avoid a conversation about death.
"No," Clarisse said with a sigh. She looked away. "Lin's not talking to me."
"You two had a fight?" Ellie asked, surprised.
Clarisse didn't answer.
Ellie put a hand around Clarisse's shoulder. "Is it about a boy or a school thing?"
"I'm eleven," Clarisse said flatly, looking at Ellie. "No. It's not about a boy."
"Good," Ellie said lightly. "Is it about a school thing?"
"No."
Ellie scooted a little closer. "Do you want to talk about it? If you don't, that's fine. But just remember that no one person or a stupid school thing is worth a friendship."
"I talked about my mom," Clarisse snapped, pulling herself from Ellie's grasp. She took a deep breath. "I didn't think it would make Lin sad. I don't know why it made her sad."
Ellie didn't reply. She grabbed Clarisse and turned her around so she could face Ellie.
"I said I was sorry," Clarisse continued. "I don't know why she's mad at me."
"It's not you," Ellie said softly. She grabbed one of Clarisse's hands. "You have to remember that not everybody in Jackson knew their parents and what they do know isn't always good."
Clarisse looked down. "I know," she moaned. "I was just…"
"I know," Ellie said kindly. "I know you didn't mean to make her upset. Lin does too."
Clarisse nodded. "Okay. I just hoped… I hoped that Lin and I could be friends like you and Matthew or you and Heather."
"Being friends doesn't mean that we never fight," Ellie said carefully. "We try not to fight in front of you and we try not to fight at all, but… sometimes the heat of the moment just gets the better of us and it happens."
"I told her I was sorry," Clarisse said again. "I didn't know there was 'heat'. But I'm mad that she won't talk to me."
"That's normal," Ellie said, placing a hand on Clarisse's back. "Sometimes, the reason that friends get mad at each other is because they're too stubborn or scared to say anything. They want to be tough and brave for you."
Clarisse shook her head. "I wouldn't care what was wrong. But if it's me I'd want to—"
"It's not you," Ellie reminded her.
"I think I'll tell her that next time," Clarisse said after a brief silence. "I don't care what's wrong. I just want her to be happy."
Ellie chuckled. "You might want to rephrase it slightly. Just let her know that you're there for her," she said as she grabbed Clarisse's other hand. "I know Lin and her dad. I bet you that when you need her the most, she'll be there for you too."
"Okay," Clarisse said, hugging Ellie.
"Are you going to stay for lunch?" Ellie asked, letting go of Clarisse's hand.
"No," Clarisse answered, sounding happier. "I can probably go back now. Timmy only said I needed to leave for a few hours."
"Can I walk you home?" Ellie asked.
"I can do it."
Ellie gave Clarisse a light hug. "I'll see you later, kiddo."
Joel walked into the room and handed Ellie the walkie-talkie he was holding as Clarisse exited the house. "It's the kid."
"What's up?" Ellie asked, speaking into the device.
"I've just finished setting everything up," Matthew said. "You wanna meet me at the shop with Winston? The dog could use a walk."
"That sounds great," Ellie said as the dog ran into her room. "I'll see you in a bit."
Ellie handed Joel the walkie-talkie.
"Making dates on the public walkie-talkies?" Joel teased.
"Remaking," Ellie replied. She sat down on the bed and sighed. "We haven't had a lot of time since Matthew started taking more shifts and I started up the Foundation. And with this morning… it's the only chance we'll have for a while."
"Welcome to life," Joel said. He walked out of the room. "Just behave yourselves."
"Like you would know if we weren't," Ellie said, standing up.
"After a few months, I would," Joel replied as Ellie caught up to him.
"Is that you giving permission?" Ellie asked with mock hope.
Joel grunted.
"Just kidding," Ellie said, grabbing the dog's collar. "I'll stop back before I head to the meeting tonight."
Ellie walked to the general store with Winston. Matthew exited with his head held low. Ellie walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder.
Matthew jumped at the contact. "Sorry," he said, shaking his head. "I just got hit with some unexpected… I don't know."
"I'm sorry," Ellie said, releasing his shoulder and grabbing his hand as they started to walk. "Just remember that it's okay to feel in Jackson. Nobody will call you weak."
"I know," Matthew said. He sighed. "Old habits die hard, I guess."
Ellie and Matthew separated briefly as the dog moved between them before intertwining their hands again as they started to walk.
"I was doing fine until I walked in the shop and saw what Jeff was supposed to take home after his shift tomorrow night," Matthew said quietly. "Then they hit me."
"Memories?" Ellie asked.
"Yeah."
"That happens to everyone," Ellie assured him. "It happened to me at the mall in Boston."
"The memories weren't all bad," Matthew tried to explain. "But…"
Ellie squeezed his hand.
Matthew squeezed back and took a deep breath. "Okay, let's talk about something else."
"Like what?"
"Like how did trying to teach Lin and Clarisse how to whistle go?"
"Oh, speaking of Lin and Clarisse…"
Ellie and Matthew continued to talk as they traversed Jackson, briefly stopping to chat with others walking on the street.
They slowed down as they saw Tim and Clarisse's house.
"Do you want to visit?" Matthew asked.
"I haven't been able to talk to Tim since this morning."
"Why not," Ellie said. She lowered her voice to a loud whisper. "Just remember not to mention L-I—"
"You're talking to somebody two years older than you," Matthew said with a laugh. "And unlike a certain twenty-two-year-old, I know how to not bring up awkward…"
"What?" Ellie asked, looking at him.
Matthew had completely frozen, the look on his face a mix of shock, horror, and anger.
Ellie followed his gaze. "What's…"
Tim was slowly staggering out of his house, clearly drunk. With every step, he stumbled to the side, almost falling. He kept looking back at the house.
Ellie looked at the ground and shook her head in anger. "Fucking Christ, Tim."
"I'm going to kill him," Matthew muttered under his breath.
They watched as Clarisse walked out of the house behind Tim.
"Oh shit," Ellie said, letting go of Matthew's hand and quickly moving toward the house.
…
Tim almost fell again as he tried to walk away from his sister.
Clarisse continued to follow.
"Go back in… house…" Tim said, his words slurring. "Get away… from me."
"I can help!" Clarisse said, attempting to reach for him. "I can help! I'm here for you! Just let me help!"
"Get away!" Tim shouted spinning around as Clarisse reached for him.
…
"Hey!" Ellie shouted as Clarisse fell backward after colliding with Tim's flailing arm. Ellie started running faster. "Tim, Stop!"
…
Tim reached down and grabbed Clarisse's shoulders.
Clarisse yelped in surprise as Tim hauled her to her knees, unintentionally shaking her as he spoke.
"You don't understand!" Tim said loudly. "You don't understand what I did…"
"Timmy…" Clarisse whispered as tears started to form in her eyes.
"I only wanted to protect you!" Tim shouted. "I—"
"Let go of her!"
Tim found himself on the ground beside his sister as Ellie stood above him, shaking out her fist and wincing in pain.
Tim watched as Ellie glared at him and knelt by Clarisse. "Clarisse," Ellie whispered. "Clarisse, it's me."
Tim attempted to rise, feeling dazed as his anger turned to fear. "I'm sorry… I…"
Tim fell silent as Matthew stepped between him and Ellie, looking at him as if he were a monster.
"Kiddo," Ellie whispered to Clarisse. "I need you to open your eyes and go to Winston, okay?"
"Okay," Clarisse croaked.
Clarisse rose and moved behind Matthew.
As Clarisse moved past Tim, she looked at him.
Tim saw only fear and sadness.
Tim looked down, unable to keep her gaze. He looked up as Ellie wrapped her hand
around Clarisse's shoulder.
Tim knew that he'd lost his sister. I can't… I won't…
Tim staggered to his feet. "I'll go, Ellie!"
"Shut up," Matthew said quietly, stepping in front of Tim.
"I'll do it!" Tim continued, ignoring Matthew. "I'll come to the meeting tonight! I'll do whatever I need to do!"
Ellie stopped walking for a moment but didn't turn. After a moment, she kept walking with Clarisse.
Tim attempted to follow. "I'll come—"
"Enough!" Matthew said loudly, pushing Tim back a step with one hand.
Tim froze.
"Now, I'm sorry about what happened to Jeff this morning," Matthew said, seeming to put an effort into staying calm. "But dealing with it like this will do so much more damage to you and your sister. It might even—"
"I know!" Tim shouted. He looked down at the spot that Clarisse had been laying seconds before. "You can't…"
"I can't what?" Matthew growled as he folded his arms.
"You can't take her away from me," Tim whispered. "I can't—"
"Goddammit, Timmy. I may not have a choice!" Matthew shouted, stepping forward. "You are seventeen years old! You are not her father, you are her brother! And she needs a brother that she can depend on! I warned you that this could happen! I…"
Tim shuddered and slowly got to his feet.
Matthew took a deep breath, clearly attempting to calm himself. "Look. I love you. You are the closest thing I have to family other than Ellie. And we all love Clarisse. But—"
"I love her too," Tim argued. He sniffled. "I swear. I didn't mean—"
"It doesn't fucking matter anymore," Matthew snapped. "I doesn't matter. Clarisse is eleven years old, Tim. And if I think you are any danger to her I will personally guarantee that you never see her again!"
"I'm not," Tim attempted to say. "I won't be. Never again."
"Yeah, well, I've heard it before," Matthew grunted. He held up a finger before Tim could speak. "Get yourself sober. Get rid of the fucking alcohol. And get your shit together. Clarisse is staying with me and Ellie until you do."
Matthew walked away without another word. Leaving Tim standing alone.
Tim looked across the street and saw several onlookers. He closed his eyes and fell to his knees. What have I done…
…
Ellie looked down at Clarisse who still had not said a word since they'd walked away from Tim.
The young girl stared at the ground outside the door to Ellie's house.
"Clarisse," Ellie said softly.
The girl slowly looked up at her.
Ellie continued speaking softly. "I know you're freaked out. And that's fine. But I need you to say something. Anything. And I promise I'll keep it between us. But… I need to hear your voice."
Clarisse swallowed before answering. "I want… I want my art."
"I'll grab it as soon as I can," Ellie promised. She felt her anger rise at the thought of seeing Tim but pushed it away. "Let's just get you settled, first."
Ellie opened the door and they walked inside.
Joel raised a hand in greeting from the kitchen table.
Ellie raised her left hand as Clarisse pulled on her right wrist. Ellie winced at the reminder that she had sprained it when she'd punched Tim.
Ellie glanced at Joel as she knelt to Clarisse.
Joel looked at her right hand, then in her eyes raising an eyebrow.
"Can I have a soda?" Clarisse asked.
"Go ahead," Ellie answered.
Clarisse walked into Ellie's room and loudly closed the door.
Joel stood, walked to the freezer, and grabbed a handful of ice. He wrapped it in a washcloth and stood next to the table.
Ellie sat down next to him. "This is turning into a really shitty day," she grumbled.
Joel wrapped the cloth around Ellie's wrist and applied a small amount of pressure.
Ellie winced. After a few seconds, she grabbed the cloth and applied more pressure.
"You gonna tell me what happened?" Joel asked, sitting down in a chair across from her and leaning back.
Ellie sighed. "Tim was going through a rough time a few years ago," she explained, keeping her voice low. "And… Clarisse almost got involved."
"The night Clarisse came home with you at three in the morning," Joel recalled. He kept his voice low as well. It held no judgment. "So, I'm guessing that this time, Clarisse got involved."
"We thought we handled it," Ellie said quickly. "I swear, Joel. I thought Matthew and I had handled it. Tim got rid of… well, he cleaned up."
"So, what happened today?" Joel asked.
Ellie looked at her bedroom door, then at the floor. "He pushed her."
"Tim pushed Clarisse," Joel said with a small amount of surprise.
"I don't think he meant to," Ellie tried to explain.
"And your wrist is sprained because…"
"I hit him," Ellie finally said. She looked Joel in the eye. "I'm not sorry, either. He was grabbing her and shouting at her and shaking her and…"
"Did he stop?" Joel interrupted. "After you hit him, did he stop?"
Ellie nodded. "I grabbed Clarisse and left. She can't be with him right now."
"I don't disagree," Joel said kindly. He looked at Ellie's door. "It sounds like you did what you could a few years ago. But there needs to be a change now."
Ellie put her uninjured hand in the air, speaking irritably. "Now, Tim is saying we wants to come to the Foundation."
"That's a start," Joel said calmly. There were a few seconds of silence.
"I don't know if I can do it," Ellie said bitterly. Vehemence was attached to her every word. "I'm just so fucking angry with him right now. I don't know if I can be who I am at the Foundation… with him there."
"It's a hard situation," Joel admitted. "But?" Ellie pressed knowing that Joel had more to say.
Joel reached down and adjusted the cloth slightly on her wrist. "But I think you've taken on harder tasks."
"Not this close to home," Ellie argued, continuing to keep her voice low.
Joel nodded understandingly and cupped her sprained hand in his own. "When you were younger… I kept myself at a distance. I know it hurt you and I'm sorry about that."
"I know," Ellie whispered.
Joel continued. "Sometimes, I had to hide who I was so that I could be what… who I had to be."
Ellie pondered his words for a few minutes before taking a deep breath. "You're right," she said, nodding to herself. "I need to see this through."
"Endure and survive," Joel said firmly. '
"Endure and survive," Ellie repeated.
Joel nodded and moved to stand.
Ellie reached out and grabbed his arm. "Joel… thanks."
"You're welcome," Joel replied.
Ellie stood and smiled for the first time in hours. "Just don't ever shave that beard. You'll lose that old guy sagely look."
"I'll try my best to take that as a compliment."
"Smart man," Ellie said. She moved toward her bedroom door and opened it. "Clarisse?"
The little girl was lying on the bed facing away from Ellie, apparently asleep. Ellie closed the door.
…
Clarisse opened her eyes after Ellie closed the door. She didn't bother to wipe away the tears. She kept repeating one thought in her head. The same thought that she'd had since her brother started shouting at her. What did I do wrong?
…
Tim gathered all the alcohol that he had in the house and placed it in a bag. After triple-checking the house, he walked to the front door.
Tim sighed and opened the door to see Ellie.
Tim froze. "Ellie… I—"
"I'm taking clothes, art, and her blanket," Ellie said firmly. She moved past him without another word and entered Clarisse's room. Upon returning, Ellie turned to Tim. She continued speaking sternly. "When you show up tonight, I am not your friend. You don't know me. When you see me, I am a stranger who is simply doing my job. Am I understood?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Ellie stopped at the front door, facing the opposite direction. "I'm so disappointed in you," she said quietly.
Tim watched as Ellie left and walked back down the street. Tim ran a hand through his hair. If possible, he felt sicker and guiltier than the minute before.
Tim forced himself to take a deep breath and grabbed the bag of alcohol, making his way to Heather's house.
Tim knocked on the front door and was greeted by Joey.
"Hey," Joey said, opening the door.
"Hey," Tim said, unsure of what to say next. He took another deep breath. "Look, man. I'm sorry about Jeff. I know you two were trying to…"
"We were trying," Joey said with a nod. He sighed and looked in the house behind him before returning his gaze to Tim. "I passed Matthew on the way here. Now, I'm not going to say anything because I don't have the… experience from being out there to pass judgement. But you should—"
"What are you doing here?" Heather snapped from behind Joey.
Joey shook his head and slowly moved aside as Tim stepped forward.
"You know what? I don't care!" Heather practically shouted. "Just get the hell out of here!"
Tim held up the bag. "I'm getting rid of all of it this time and I—"
Heather grabbed the bag and threw it as hard as she could over Tim's shoulder. "I don't give a shit!" she yelled, stepping forward.
"Heather," Joey warned.
Tim held up a hand to stop Joey.
Heather completely ignored Joey. She started walking toward Tim, causing him to continually step back. Heather continued to shout. "You lying son of a bitch! I tried to help you! We all tried to help you! We hid your issues from Clarisse! And you kept the shit anyway! Now your sister is afraid and that is your fault! So, stay the fuck away from me! And until we think Clarisse is safe to be around you, stay the fuck away from her!"
Tim opened his mouth to offer… something. An explanation. An apology. Anything. "I'm so—"
Heather took a step forward, her hand slipping into her pocket.
Tim saw a centimeter of silver.
"Heather!" Joey shouted.
Heather stopped. After taking a few breath's through her nose, she slowly relaxed the grip on the blade and took a step back. She spoke in a whisper. "I don't ever want to see you near my house again."
Tim turned away and nodded. "You won't," he whispered, once again barely believing that he could feel worse than he already did. "You won't. I promise."
Tim grabbed the bag and walked toward the nearest section of the Wall. After a few seconds of pacing, Tim climbed the ladder and looked at the bag for half a second. Tim shook his head in frustration and screamed in anger before throwing the bag over the Wall.
After a minute, Tim sighed and felt a small release of tension. He looked to his right and saw Marcus sitting on the Wall, a rifle propped up next to him. The older man wore his usual brown jacket and jeans.
"Sorry," Tim said lamely.
Marcus shrugged. "We all have our demons."
Tim took yet another deep breath.
"Do yourself a favor," Marcus said to Tim. "Listen when you come to the Foundation tonight. What Ellie set up… it works if you listen."
Tim nodded and pointed over the Wall. "Don't let anybody bring that bag back in here."
…
Matthew stood up from the table as Joel reentered the house.
Joel nodded in greeting and threw aside his jacket.
"How are the shifts going?" Matthew asked.
"They're covered," Joel said. He sat down across from Matthew, who remained standing.
"Thanks," Matthew said. He lowered his voice. "Sorry. I just don't want to leave Clarisse alone tonight."
Joel lowered his voice as well. "Has she said anything?"
Matthew shook his head. "Clarisse is pretending she's asleep."
"How do you know she isn't asleep?" Joel asked.
"Would you be asleep?" Matthew countered.
"I wouldn't be resting," Joel admitted. However, he seemed to notice Matthew restlessness. "Why don't you take a few. I mean, you've been up for what, fifteen hours?"
Matthew sighed and turned to the sink, grabbing a dirty plate.
"You think Tim's going to come here drunk?" Joel asked cautiously. "Is that why you're sticking around?"
"I more afraid of what I'm going to do if I leave," Matthew said placing the plate on the counter harder than intended.
Joel nodded. "Well, right now I guess we wait."
Matthew turned and sat down at the table. He ran a hand through his hair. "I um… I may have put you in an awkward position, sir. I told Tim that we were taking Clarisse and… and keeping her until this situation gets figured out."
Joel leaned forward. "You didn't do anything wrong, kid. You know how I feel when it comes to protecting the people I care about."
Matthew hesitated before replying. "How am I different?"
"Excuse me?" Joel asked, raising the eyebrow.
"How am I different than Tim?" Matthew asked. He sighed. "I almost killed Ellie that night near the military docks."
"You know damn well that was different," Joel said, almost sternly. "Those were different circumstances."
"Were they?" Matthew asked.
"Yeah," Joel said. He sighed. "You think this is your fault?"
"No," Matthew said quickly. He couldn't look at Joel. "Maybe. I don't know anymore. Ellie asked me the same thing last time something like this happened and I told her that Tim is in control of his own actions."
"And he is," Joel said, leaning back. "The reality is that Tim chose to pick up the bottle. You never chose to hurt Ellie."
"I guess," Matthew said. He took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright… Your right. We wait. Have there been plans made for Jeff's funeral?"
"It's tomorrow at noon," Joel answered.
"Good," Matthew said, picking up an apple from the bowl on the table.
As Matthew was about to take a bite, he froze, looking at the fruit in his hand.
"You okay?" Joel asked.
"The last thing Jeff did when I saw him was give me an apple," Matthew said. He put a hand to his face as a tear began to well up in his eye. "A damn apple."
"I'll give you minute," Joel said softly. He stood and exited the room.
Matthew allowed the emotion to enter as he turned around to face the window.
…
Ellie walked into the Foundation a half hour before the meeting started. She started grabbing stools off the bar and setting them in a large circle.
Ellie tried to grab two at once and one tumbled to the ground.
"Dammit," Ellie spat.
Marcus walked through the door. He set aside a bag he was holding and picked up the fallen chair.
"Thanks," Ellie said, moving away from the bar.
"I didn't think you'd be here," Marcus said as he set the chair in the circle.
Ellie straightened one of the chairs. "I just had to drop some stuff off at home."
"You know that you don't have to be here," Marcus said gently, grabbing another chair.
"Actually, I do," Ellie said. She sat down. "I really do. I've spent the last few hours just sitting around and…"
"Grieving?" Marcus guessed.
"And then some," Ellie grumbled. She stood. "You gonna stick around?"
"Might as well," Marcus said with a shrug. "It couldn't hurt to have a second hand."
"And I thought you hated me," Ellie said lightly, taking off her coat and pulling out her hair brush. "Don't you have a date with your wife tonight?"
"Change of plans," Marcus said, taking off his own coat. "Besides, my wife never complains when I mention your name."
Ellie smiled. "She always liked me."
Marcus grunted in amusement. "I won't say I didn't hate you that first day."
"And now?" Ellie asked.
"Depends on if I'm helping you or if you're helping me."
"Fair enough," Ellie said.
Marcus grabbed the broom and swept the floor. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Ellie said as climbed on a chair to dust an overhead light. "Can you spot me?"
Marcus stood next to Ellie as she stood on one leg to reach the next light. "When you do these meetings," he started. "Do you plan what you're going to say or do you just improvise?
"Yes," Ellie answered. She jumped down.
Marcus chuckled. "You're about as straight with your answers as your old man."
Ellie shrugged.
Marcus picked up the bag. "Your friend, Tim, threw this over the Wall today."
"So?" Ellie said sharply, knowing what was in the bag.
"So, I'm guessing that's significant."
"We'll see," Ellie replied, refusing to let her frustration to take control.
"Is that why you're here?" Marcus asked. "For him?"
"I've told him that I am not his friend when he's here," Ellie said firmly. She sighed. "Do me a favor. Let's drop the conversation. This is hard enough as it is."
"If he shows, it means he's going to listen," Marcus commented.
Ellie didn't reply.
They finished picking up the bar.
"You want to do the talking this time?" Ellie asked Marcus as somebody walked through the door.
"I'll let the master do her work," Marcus replied.
Ellie chuckled.
…
Tim showed up to the Foundation ten minutes later and walked inside. He looked around, realizing that this was the same place that Matthew had brought him to when he'd blacked out three years before. A bar. Figures.
Tim took a deep breath and walked toward the circle of chairs that were starting to fill up with people. Remembering Ellie's words, Tim chose not to greet her and sat down on the far side of the circle opposite of where Ellie would sit.
Tim looked around and counted fourteen other people, not including Marcus and Ellie. He looked at the floor as the conversation gradually died down.
Tim felt the mood change slightly. It soon matched what he'd felt inside him for… hours? Years.
Tim curled and uncurled his fists as he felt the sudden need for a— SLAP.
Tim hit the side of his own head with his hand as hard as he could, hoping to get rid of the desire for alcohol. He glanced up and saw a few people looking at him curiously. Tim blushed and started rubbing his face.
"Finally," Marcus said so everyone could hear. "That damn fly really needed to die."
A few people chuckled and everyone looked away.
Tim gave Marcus an appreciative nod and glanced at Ellie who was looking through a pile of paper's she'd brought out from the bar's office.
"Okay," Ellie finally said, stashing the papers back behind the bar. She sat down in the empty chair and looked around the circle of attendees. She lowered her voice, speaking gently. "Um… I'm sure you all heard about what happened. Our friend, Jeff, was killed defending Jackson this morning."
There was a moment of silence and everyone bowed their head.
Ellie continued as Tim heard a small amount of sadness in her voice. "I just wanted to let everyone know that, as always, if you think anybody needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on, they can come to a meeting anytime. If not, they know where I live and who I live with. There's no work hours here. Anyone needs anything, I'm available."
There were a few nods of and mumbles of affirmations and thanks.
"Good," Ellie said. She took another breath.
Tim looked around the group again.
"I see we have a few new faces here," Ellie continued in a lighter tone. "The way Marcus and I have been able to make this work for the last couple years is we try to 'sandwich' it. The way the 'sandwich' works is we start with some positives or good feelings that happened after the last meeting. Then something bad, reoccurrences or annoyances, and then something good."
"If there is anything good," Marcus mumbled.
Ellie flicked the side of his head with a finger, causing another couple of chuckles around the group.
Tim noticed others relaxing slightly. He tried to relax himself but couldn't.
"Any volunteers?" Ellie asked lightly.
There were a few seconds of silence before Patty, a woman with short raven hair wearing a black shirt and jeans, raised her hand.
"Watcha got, Patty?" Ellie asked.
Tim listened politely as more people started to speak. As they continued, however, he felt alone. Everybody here is so much… further along than me.
"Tim," Ellie said in a tone that seemed polite, but Tim knew to translate as sharp. "You got something?"
Tim gulped as he realized it was his turn. He took a deep breath.
"I'm…" Tim averted his eyes, still unable to meet Ellie's gaze. "I'm here… because I'm lost. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm really not sure where to begin."
"Start at the beginning," Marcus advised, exchanging a look with Ellie. "There's no time limit here."
"Okay," Tim said. He scratched the back of his head. "I grew up outside Jackson with my parents and my sister. It worked for a while but, well, it couldn't work forever. My mom and dad didn't make it and then it was just me and my sister."
Tim took another breath and forced himself to look up. "After they… well, it's my responsibility to look after my sister. I had help…" Tim glanced at Ellie, who's expression was unreadable. He cleared his throat and forced himself to continue. "I was given a chance to get my sister to Jackson. One day, there were Infected around so I made my sister hide in the truck we'd been… And a man appeared. I pointed my gun at him but couldn't shoot. He kept coming."
The entire room was silent. Nobody interrupted.
Tim looked down at his open hands and could practically see the blood that had once coated them. He curled his hands into fists. "I killed him. I don't know what he was going to do. Maybe if he'd seen Clarisse he'd have stopped, but—"
"You protect your family," someone in the circle said. "No matter what."
A few people in the group nodded and verbally agreed.
Even Ellie nodded slightly.
Tim shook his head and forced himself to keep talking. "After I got here, to Jackson… I was hoping that it would stop. It didn't. Then I was given… I chose to drink. I chose to get drunk. And after my friends, people I look up to, tried to help me… I chose to lie and keep it. I didn't drink it. But I didn't know how to get rid of it."
Tim looked at Ellie and saw a flash of anger, then a flash of empathy, and then, once again, an unreadable expression.
The looks were too much for Tim. He shuddered slightly before continuing. Sadness, anger, and regret entered his voice. "I chose to get drunk today and I… I scared my sister. I fucking scared her. I was the one person she didn't ever have to be scared of and I… I don't know what to do next. All I know is that I can't do it again. My sister… she doesn't deserve a person like me. She deserves… better."
There were a few seconds of silence as Tim attempted to compose himself.
Some of those in the circle were staring at the floor. Others were looking at him.
Tim forced himself to keep his head up.
Marcus made eye contact with Ellie.
Ellie was the first to speak. "Knowing what you can't do is only the first step. The next step is knowing what you need to do."
"Whatever it takes, I need to do it," Tim said. It was the most certain he'd felt since entering the bar. "I will do it."
"In the end, that's up to you," Ellie said. She looked Tim in the eye. "Anything else?"
Tim knew it was a test. Now's not the time to talk to her. "No," he answered quietly.
…
Matthew sat at the kitchen table, cleaning is crossbow and assembling more arrows. The sun had long since set.
Matthew glanced at Joel who was dozing on the couch.
"Matthew?"
Matthew looked up, surprised that he hadn't noticed Clarisse exiting the bedroom.
Matthew set aside the arrow he was holding. "What's up?" he asked kindly.
Clarisse looked down for a moment. When she looked up, tears were filling her eyes. "What did I do wrong?"
Matthew reached for her. "Clarisse…"
"What did I do?" Clarisse asked, taking a step back. "Tim's mad at me. He said he did something for me. I don't understand what I did to make him mad—"
"Honey," Matthew said reaching forward again and grabbing Clarisse's hands. "Honey, come here."
"Tell me what I did!" Clarisse said loudly. "I can fix it. I can change. But I need to know what I did!"
"It's not you," Matthew said gently. He moved her a little bit closer and cupped her face in his hands. "It's not you."
"Then what is it?" Clarisse choked.
"Your brother had to make some hard choices when you two were out there," Matthew said softly. He moved his hands to her shoulders. "He had to make those choices. They may have been made for your safety. But that doesn't make them your choices, your consequences, or your fault. Okay?"
Clarisse sniffled and slowly nodded. "Okay. But… what can I do?"
Matthew gulped and picked her up into his arms. "Nothing, honey. I promise that Ellie and I will try and help Tim through this. But in the end, your brother has to work some things out for himself."
"Does that mean I can't be with Timmy anymore?" Clarisse asked. She sniffled again. "I don't want him to be mad at me. I don't want to be alone."
"Your brother is not mad at you," Matthew said softly, setting Clarisse on a chair. He knelt to eye level and tried to sound calming. "I think he's mad at himself right now. And remember that you are never alone."
Clarisse took several deep breaths.
Matthew wiped a tear from her eye. "If you ever need to talk…"
"I know," Clarisse said.
There was knock on the front door.
Matthew placed hand on her shoulder and moved to the door. He opened it and found Lei standing with a hand on Lin's shoulder. Both were dressed in dark green t-shirts and black jeans.
Lin was attempting to peek around Matthew.
"I'm sorry for bothering you at dinner," Lei said.
"It's no problem, sir," Matthew said, hoping the emotion he felt wasn't evident in his voice. He waved a hand behind him. "We haven't eaten yet anyway. How can I help you?"
"I know it's been a rough day," Lei said slowly. "And we heard about… well we heard that Clarisse was staying here. Lin has been begging me to bring her over. I told her—"
"Lin!"
Clarisse ran past Matthew and threw herself around her friend.
Lin didn't hesitate in hugging Clarisse back.
Matthew and Lei smiled as Clarisse let go.
Matthew placed a hand on Clarisse's shoulder. "I think we could use some company right about now," he said, glancing at the little girl. "What do you think?"
Clarisse smiled and grabbed Lin's hand. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Lin said, grabbing Clarisse's hands with her own. "Can I see the picture you were working on?"
Clarisse smiled and ran to Ellie's room with Lin.
"Something tells me this is going to turn into a sleepover," Lei said.
"The spare room's yours if you want it," Matthew offered.
"No," Lei said after a moment. "I think Lin need's it."
"I think they both need it," Matthew agreed.
"I'll bring some spare clothes over for her," Lei said. "And I'll pick her up tomorrow morning."
"Sounds good," Matthew said. "Thanks for coming by."
"Always a pleasure."
Matthew waited until Lei left and walked back toward the kitchen, stopping by the couch.
Joel lay on the couch, his eyes still close.
"I have no idea what to say to that kid," Matthew said quietly, looking at the bedroom door.
"You're doing fine, kid," Joel said, his eyes still closed.
Matthew stood there for a moment before shrugging. "I think I should get dinner started."
…
Tim walked out of the Foundation. Clouds were forming overhead. They started to cover the starry sky. He clenched and unclenched his fists. I want a beer…
Tim tore his gaze away from the sky as Ellie and Marcus exited the building a few seconds later. Marcus nodded at Tim and said goodbye to Ellie before walking down the street.
Ellie looked past Tim and nodded.
Tim turned and saw Heather standing there with folded arms.
Tim turned back to Ellie, who threw the bag of alcohol at Tim's feet.
Tim was tempted by the bag but stayed where he was. "I told Marcus not to bring that back here," he said.
"Marcus did exactly what I would have done," Ellie said coolly. "Did you think that throwing it out of Jackson was going to magically solve your problem?"
"No," Tim answered with a shake of his head. "I just needed it gone."
Ellie pointed to the bag. "Do it again."
Tim opened his mouth to reply when a woman Ellie's age walked forward.
Ellie turned to greet her. "Hey Vanessa," she said, the coolness in her voice gone.
Vanessa opened her mouth to speak, then closed it.
Ellie reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"
Vanessa looked down. "I… I was dating Jeffery."
"Oh," Ellie said, clearly surprised.
"We didn't want to tell anyone yet," Vanessa said, averting her eyes as they teared up. "I…"
"Why don't you come inside," Ellie offered gently.
Ellie put a hand around Vanessa's shoulder and brought her back into the bar.
Tim looked at the ground as guilt started to fill him. I'm worrying about a Goddamn drink while Vanessa just lost…
Tim reached down and grabbed the bag. He once again walked to the nearest section of the Wall and threw the bag over without hesitation. Feeling a small release of tension again, Tim turned and walked back to bar.
Heather was still standing across the street, waiting patiently.
As Tim turned toward her, Heather held up a hand. "Don't," she said sharply. "I'm here to walk Ellie home and give her a shoulder. Not you."
Tim nodded. "I understand. Just… make sure Joey's not alone with this."
"He's stronger than you think," Heather replied.
"I don't disagree," Tim said, stepping back. He looked Heather in the eye. "I haven't disagreed with anything people have said to me today."
Heather opened her mouth to reply, then closed it.
Tim turned and walked away.
"Jeff's funeral is tomorrow at noon," Heather called as Tim stopped. "We all expect you to be there."
"I will be," Tim promised.
Tim started walking past the bar and stopped again, glancing through the window.
Ellie was embracing a now openly crying Vanessa.
Tim kept walking, forcing himself not to look back.
Upon reaching the house, Tim froze. This is going to be a long night.
Tim opened the door, walked into Clarisse's room and sat on her bed, feeling as if the walls and ceiling were starting to close in. Tim shut his eyes. It's going to be a long fucking night.
…
Matthew walked down the hallway.
The light in Ellie's room was still on but there were no voices.
Matthew quietly pushed the door open. He smiled as he saw the Clarisse and Lin asleep on the bed with their hands intertwined, sharing headphones that were attached to Ellie's Walkman.
Matthew felt an arm wrap around his waist.
"Usually it's Joel hovering outside our room," Ellie said, resting her head on Matthew's shoulder.
"This is probably the most relaxed I've seen Clarisse today," Matthew said. He turned and wiped dried tears from Ellie's face. "Long meeting?"
"Yeah," Ellie said, grabbing his hand and walking them into the living room. "Just a long day in general."
"That's an understatement," Matthew said, laying on the couch.
Ellie laid down on top of him, the back of her head resting on Matthew's shoulder. She closed her eyes. "What are we going to do?" she asked.
"What we can," Matthew said, leaning up and kissing the top of her head.
"I thought we already did that," Ellie said.
"We did what we could for Tim. Now we need to do what we can for Clarisse," Matthew said firmly.
"Keeping her from him," Ellie said quietly. "She could end up hating us for it."
"She could," Matthew said simply. "But we'll hate ourselves more if she gets hurt."
"I guess," Ellie said. She grabbed Matthew's hand. "Have you talked to her about staying with us?"
"No," Matthew said, squeezing the hand.
"We'll have to tomorrow," Ellie said with no small amount of apprehension.
"Well," Matthew said, closing his eyes. "That's tomorrow. Let's just see what happens when tomorrow comes."
"That's a good idea…" Ellie said, already drifting off to sleep.
…
Tim finally sat up as the sun was rising. He hadn't gotten any sleep.
After a few seconds, Tim wiped away his dried tears, finally knowing what he had to do.
Tim made Clarisse's bed and went into his room, grabbing a nicer, fresh pair of dark black pants and a black t-shirt.
Tim stared at his tired eyes in the mirror before exiting the house and taking a jog around Jackson. He made sure to avoid any of Heather's routes and Ellie's house. When he couldn't run anymore, he walked, always thinking about what he had to do.
He had to do what was best for Clarisse.
In the end, Tim arrived at the funeral two hours early. He cleared the area of leaves branches as best he could. Tim glanced at the sun and realized that he still had over an hour before the funeral started. Tim sat against a tree and closed his eyes to doze.
…
Ellie knelt and looked Clarisse in the eye.
Matthew stood over them.
Both Ellie and Matthew were dressed in black t-shirts and jeans. Ellie was wearing her usual black sleeves over both her arms.
"We'll be back in a few hours," Ellie promised. "You can hold down the fort, right?"
Clarisse nodded and started to pet Winston. She was wearing a nice purple dress and blue pants underneath.
"Can I see Timmy, later?" Clarisse asked hopefully.
Ellie looked up at Matthew.
"We'll see," Matthew replied kindly.
…
Tim moved to the top of the small hill a short distance away from where Jeff would be buried and leaned against a tree.
From his position, Tim could see everyone in attendance. He was both saddened and relieved not to see Clarisse.
Tim saw that Joey and Heather, along with everyone else, was wearing darker outfits. Heather wore a black t-shirt and jeans. Joey wore a dark blue shirt and black jeans.
A short time later, everyone started to unconsciously form a few rows as Jeff's body was carried and gently placed into a freshly dug grave.
Everyone remained silent as Maria and Tommy said a small prayer.
Joel joined them in burying Jeff as the large group watched.
Once, Joey glanced over his shoulder and nodded at Tim.
Tim nodded back but made no attempt to move.
Vanessa slowly walked to the head of the group.
"I've known Jeffery since he first got here," Vanessa said, clearly trying to choke back tears. "At first, I thought he was an obnoxious jerk. To his credit, it's something he eventually admitted to himself."
Her words were received with few chuckles before silence fell again.
Tim looked up as a small ray of sunlight filtered through the clouds above.
"Two months ago, we started dating," Vanessa said with a smile. "One night, we were stuck together on a shift and we just started… talking. And I wondered 'who the hell is this guy'?"
…
Tim couldn't help but smile sadly as he remembered having the same thought about Jeff as well in recent weeks.
Vanessa continued. "Finally, I just asked him. Jeffery didn't answer at first. Eventually he said, 'I'm who I've always wanted to be, but never known how.' Then he told me about how he was, quite literally, thrown on his ass."
Tim glanced at Ellie, who slipped a hand around Matthew's shoulder.
"He said it was the second-best thing that ever happened to him," Vanessa said. She shuddered and put her hand to her mouth and sighed. "I'm sorry. Then… Jeffery started talking about the people in Jackson who were able to accept his flaws and… they were able to see the best parts of him and help him be better."
Vanessa took a deep breath and looked at the sun that had now fully emerged from behind the clouds.
Vanessa smiled again. "Because of them, Jeffery said that 'with their support, I was able to see who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a better person'."
Vanessa placed her hand over her mouth again. Tears fell from her eyes as she continued. "And I think he was a good person. He became who he wanted to be."
Vanessa looked at the mound of dirt under which Jeff lay. "I'd like to think there's a lesson in that," she said through more tears.
Tim could have sworn she looked at Ellie.
"No matter where you come from or who you were out there… what you had to be out there," Vanessa continued. "Here, in Jackson, you can choose to become and be a better person. Even if it takes others to look beyond your own flaws before you can do it yourself."
Tim looked away as a tear fell from his eye. He looked up to see Ellie and Matthew exchange thoughtful looks before looking in his direction.
Vanessa smiled sadly. "I think he'd want to thank everyone here for giving him the chance to become a better person. For helping turn him into a better person. So, I'm going to say it for him. Thank you."
Tim took a deep breath as he watched Vanessa step down and give Ellie a hug.
Vanessa moved to Joey and gave him a hug as well.
From his position, Tim could see Joey shaking.
Heather placed a hand on Joey's shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
As the crowd slowly dispersed, Tim made his way down the hill.
The group of people who may never call him a friend again mingled together near Jeff's grave, all wearing dark shirts, jackets, and jeans.
Tim stopped a short distance away, attempting to figure out how to talk to them.
Heather glanced up at Tim from next to Joey, making eye-contact.
Heather finally moved to the side, making room for Tim.
"Ellie," Joey was saying quietly. "The nightmares… about what happened to Jeff. That's normal, right?"
"Yeah," Ellie said, placing a hand on his other shoulder. "Completely."
"And the nightmares about… what I did to the other guy?" Joey asked. "When I shot him."
"Those are normal too," Matthew told him calmly.
"Good," Joey said with a nod. "Then I'm good. I uh… I need to go for a walk. Alone."
"We'll see you at dinner," Ellie said.
"Joey," Tim said quickly, drawing all eyes to him. "Could you stay a sec?"
Joey stopped next to Heather.
Tim gulped. "I… I need your guys' help."
There was a brief silence as everyone exchanged glances.
Ellie sighed. "Tim…" she started, somewhat gently. "We know your trying. But…"
"You're running a little short on favors owed," Heather said bluntly.
"It's about Clarisse," Tim said.
There was another silence before Matthew unfolded his arms. "What is it, Tim?"
…
Clarisse turned as she heard Ellie's voice.
Ellie was walking down the street with Matthew and Joel.
Clarisse looked down and kicked a rock when she realized Tim wasn't with them.
"You didn't want to hang out with Lin anymore?" Ellie asked.
Clarisse shook her head.
Ellie put a hand on her head. "Let's get some food in you, kiddo."
They walked into the house and Clarisse once again shut herself in the bedroom.
"I'll talk to her," Matthew said.
Ellie smiled sadly as Matthew entered the bedroom.
"It can't be easy," Joel said from behind her. "For anyone."
"It's not," Ellie admitted. She threw her coat onto the couch. "But we do what we can, right?"
"Any clue where this is going from here?" Joel asked as they moved into the kitchen.
Ellie glanced at the hallway leading to her bedroom. "Tim's made a decision. He says it's for Clarisse and I believe him."
"And?"
"And I invited him to dinner," Ellie said. "Tim wanted Clarisse to hear it from him."
"Whatever it is," Joel said. "I'm onboard."
Ellie smiled. "Thanks for the support. We kinda need it right now."
…
Tim walked into his house and started cleaning.
"Need help?"
Tim turned quickly and saw Heather and Joey standing in the room behind him.
Tim looked between them. "Neither of you owe me anything."
"We know," Heather said. "But with what your about to do, you shouldn't be alone."
"I just need to be occupied," Joey said with a shrug.
"I was going to start with her room," Tim said.
"Let's go then," Heather said.
"I'll get the stuff from outside," Joey said, exiting the house.
Tim turned and led Heather into Clarisse's bedroom.
"That's a lot of stuff," Heather commented.
"Yeah," Tim said. "It's a lot."
"For what it's worth," Heather said gently. "I think you're doing the right thing."
Tim grabbed Clarisse's clothes and started to fold them. He folded her favorite shirt and sighed, sitting on the bed. "Is this it?" he asked, looking around. "Is this all I can do?"
"It's a good start," Heather said kindly, grabbing a shirt to fold.
…
Tim, Heather, and Joey all arrived at Ellie, Matthew, and Joel's for dinner a half hour early.
Tim knocked on the door and was immediately greeted by Clarisse who flung her arms around him. Tim knelt and hugged her tightly as he could, making what he had to tell her by the end of the night all that much harder.
Before Tim could say a word, Clarisse grabbed his hand and ran into the house. She spent the next half hour showing him all the different pictures that she'd worked on during the last two days.
"What's that one," Tim finally asked, pointing at a piece of paper that was mostly concealed by one of the pillows on the bed.
"I'm not ready to show anyone yet," Clarisse said.
"Dinner's almost ready," Ellie called.
…
Matthew and Joel were busy prepping in the kitchen when Tim led Clarisse to the living room and sat her down on the couch.
Tim walked into the kitchen a few seconds later.
"You didn't tell her yet," Matthew assumed, glancing at the smiling girl on the couch.
"No," Tim said. He sighed. "I will. I was just going to wait after dinner. Let her be happy for a while."
Matthew set down the knife he was using to cut fruit and placed a hand on Tim's shoulder. "I think you're doing the right thing," Matthew said quietly. "But it needs to be done now. The longer you wait, the more it will hurt. For both of you."
"You're right," Tim said after a few seconds of silence. "Your right. I should do it now."
Matthew watched Tim return to Clarisse and lead her outside.
Matthew returned to cutting up the fruit.
"Feeling a little déjà vu?" Joel asked, grabbing a fruit. "I seem to remember you and I—"
"I remember," Matthew interrupted, sharper than intended. He sighed. "Sorry. Let's just say that I've had better occurrences of déjà vu than this."
"I think Tim's doing the right thing," Joel said calmly. "Just like you once did."
"The difference is that Tim's planning to stick around in the long run," Matthew said, throwing the fruit into a bowl. "I wasn't."
"The kid's willing to do what he has to in order to protect his sister, despite how hard it's going to be on him," Joel grunted. "I wonder who taught him he had the strength to do that."
"Ellie's the one who opened and runs the Foundation," Matthew argued. "She told him to come to Jackson in the first place."
"Ellie showed him where Jackson was," Joel said. He grabbed the bowl of fruit from Matthew's hand. "But she wasn't the only one who gave him the tools to get here."
Joel walked away before Matthew could reply.
…
Tim brought Clarisse outside.
"I want to play 'Hide and Seek' when we get home," Clarisse said. "We haven't played 'Hide and Seek' in a long time."
"Clarisse," Tim said. He took a deep breath to prepare himself. "We can't."
"We don't have to do it tonight," Clarisse said. "We can—"
"Clarisse," Tim said again. He knelt and gently grabbed her hands. "You can't come home with me tonight."
Clarisse's took a step back, confused. "Can I come home tomorrow?"
Tim shook his head. "I need you to listen. You can't… I can't have you living with me anymore."
Clarisse looked behind Tim at the bags that he, Heather, and Joey had set next to the front door. She took another step back, her hands sliding from Tim's grip.
Despite the lump in his throat, Tim continued. "Yesterday, I lost control and I scared you. I almost hurt you. I can't let you be near me when I'm… when I go bad."
"I want to go home," Clarisse whispered.
"You can't," Tim said. He attempted to sound optimistic. "Look, it'll be fun. You're going to have lots of sleepovers. I've talked to Ellie and Matthew, Heather, Joey, even Lin and her dad said they would love to have you stay with them for a while."
"I don't want to have sleepovers!" Clarisse shouted, running at him and swinging her fists. "I want to go home!"
…
Heather looked at Ellie as the other woman stood by the closed front door.
They heard Clarisse start to scream.
Matthew stood, placed a hand on Ellie's shoulder, and whispered something in her ear.
Ellie nodded and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly.
Heather looked at Joey who was sitting in a chair, staring at the floor.
"You haven't talked much today," Heather observed.
"Not much I want to talk about," Joey said.
"I'm up for it if you are," Heather promised.
Joey opened his mouth to respond but shrugged. "Maybe later."
…
Tim took every punch thrown, pulling Clarisse into his arms. After several more punches, Clarisse collapsed, sobbing into his shoulder.
"You're going away," Clarisse whispered. She sobbed. "You're going away just like mom and dad."
"No, no, no," Tim said, slowly letting her go. He cupped Clarisse's face in his hands. "I'm not leaving you. I would never do that, do you understand? We're family. We stick together. No matter what. But right now, I need to stop going bad. And if I mess up, I don't want you to get hurt."
"I want to help," Clarisse said as a tear rolled down her face and onto Tim's hand.
"And I love you for that," Tim said gently. "But right now, the best way to help me is stay with the people who love you just as much as I do."
Clarisse looked down again.
Tim wiped a tear away from Clarisse's eye with his thumb. "I know this is hard. Trust me, I know. But right now, it's what I have to do. This is the best way that you can help me. But I am not going away. I will still see you every day."
"Every day?" Clarisse sniffled.
"Yes," Tim said as a tear rolled down his own cheek. "Every. Single. Day."
"Even school days?" Clarisse asked.
"Especially school days," Tim said with a small laugh. "I will see you every afternoon for lunch at your school and every night for dinner. I will still help you with all your homework and be wherever you are to say goodnight. Okay?"
Clarisse took several deep breaths. "Okay."
"Good," Tim said.
They embraced.
Tim took a deep breath of his own and held Clarisse at arm's length. "Now, how about we go have that dinner? I think it smells great."
"Okay," Clarisse said again, more optimistically.
Tim grabbed his sister's hand and brought her inside.
After sitting down at the couch again, Tim felt a pressure on his shoulder and saw Matthew standing over him.
They exchanged nods as the rest of the guests gathered around them.
As the night wore on, Tim felt himself relax. He felt happier than he had in two days. The lump in his throat went away and he was able to see what he couldn't for years. I'm not alone.
Hours later, when the moon was high in the sky and the dishes were all clean, Tim stood and hauled Clarisse into his arms.
"I think it's time for both of us to sleep," Tim whispered in her ear.
"I'm not tired," Clarisse said with a yawn.
"You were never good at lying to me," Tim observed.
"Can I show you something, first?" Clarisse asked.
"Yeah," Tim said. He looked at Ellie and Matthew, who were now sitting together on the couch. "What room is she sleeping in?"
"She can have our room," Ellie said.
"We'll get the spare room upstairs set up for her tomorrow," Matthew added.
"I think I'll be heading out," Heather said, standing and stretching. "The cat hasn't eaten all day."
"I think I'll head home too," Joey said, standing.
Tim and Heather exchanged glances, realizing that this was the first Joey had really spoken in hours.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Joey finished.
Tim shook hands with Joey.
Heather walked forward and placed her arms around Tim and Clarisse.
"You're doing the right thing," she whispered in Tim's ear.
"I know," Tim said just as quietly.
Joey and Heather exited the house.
…
"Goodnight," Heather said to Joey, turning to walk down the street. She stopped when she realized the young man was still standing in the middle of the street. "You okay?"
"Can I walk you home?" Joey asked after a moment.
Heather glanced at his house, confused. "That's a little out of your way, don't you think?"
"I just… don't feel like going home right now," Joey said with a shrug.
"Sure," Heather said as she and Joey started walking down the street together. "I'll walk you to my home."
…
Tim walked into the bedroom and set Clarisse on the bed.
Clarisse reached under the pillow and pulled out a drawing. "This is what I wanted to show you."
Tim laid the drawing out on the bed.
Clarisse crawled to the end of the bed so she could look at it.
Tim knelt so he was at shoulder level with Clarisse. "Clarisse, it's…"
"It's our family," Clarisse said.
Tim continued to examine the picture.
It was drawn in extensive detail and all in pencil. The drawing itself had two rows. The first contained drawings of Joel, Tommy, and Maria from the neck up. The second row was made up of the people that Tim had come to care most about.
Standing side-by-side and drawn from the waist up was Matthew, Ellie, Tim, Joey, and Heather. In the middle of the group, Clarisse was sitting atop Tim's shoulders. All of them were smiling broadly, wearing t-shirts. Their eyes were deep and detailed.
Matthew had an arm wrapped around Ellie's shoulder. His hand rested on Tim's shoulder. Ellie wore her hair down and her necklace showed proudly. Her hand was resting on Clarisse's shoulder.
Tim had both hands holding onto Clarisse's dangling legs. Clarisse was resting her chin on her arms, which were lying on top Tim's head. Her head was tipped mischievously to the side.
Joey had a hand on Tim's other shoulder. Heather stood at the end, her shoulder touching lightly with Joey's. Her hand reached behind the group and rested on Clarisse's other shoulder.
"Do you like it?" Clarisse asked.
"This is amazing," Tim said genuinely. He turned to Clarisse and touched her lightly on the tip of the nose. "You, my little sister, have got to start showing off some of these drawings."
"I don't think they're that good," Clarisse said sadly. "I can't quite get the eyes right."
"The eyes are fine," Tim said with a laugh. "Seriously, you should see if Heather can boot up that copier machine for you."
"I want you to take it," Clarisse said quickly, picking up the paper and handing it to Tim. "Please? I really want you to have it."
Tim pulled her into his arms again and gave her a long hug. "I promise," he said with tears in his eyes. "I promise that I will get better. I will never go away. And if I do, I will always come back."
"I know," Clarisse said, hugging him tighter than ever.
…
Ellie and Matthew met Tim in the hallway after he tucked Clarisse in for the night.
Tim had a small tear sliding down his cheek. He was gently holding a piece of paper in his hand.
Matthew placed a hand on his shoulder.
Tim wiped the tear away. "I'm gonna head home too."
"Need company?" Matthew asked.
"No," Tim said. He slowly closed the door to the bedroom and turned to them. "If she starts having nightmares, has trouble in school, stops talking… could you let me know?"
"She's your sister," Ellie said gently. "That's not going to change, Tim."
"We'll keep you updated," Matthew agreed. "And don't worry. Everyone love's Clarisse. She'll be fine."
"Besides," Ellie said with a shrug. "If your conversation went as well as we think it did, you'll be seeing her every day as it is."
Tim nodded. "Thank you," he said gratefully. "Both of you."
"It's not a problem," Ellie said.
"It never has been," Matthew finished.
Tim turned away and stopped. "I think the hardest part of this is gonna be going to bed without her there."
"The house gets quiet at night," Ellie said sympathetically. "Doesn't it?"
"More than usual," Tim admitted.
"Well, that's easy enough to solve," Ellie said. "Anytime you need someone to take care of, call of one us and we adults can have a sleepover."
"While I appreciate the offer," Tim said with a chuckle. He looked at Matthew. "I can't take shortcuts with my problems. Not anymore."
"Then we'll see you tomorrow," Matthew said with a hint of admiration.
"And I'll see you at the meeting next week," Ellie said.
Tim nodded and folded up the paper he was holding and placed it in his pocket. "Next week," he confirmed.
…
Joey and Heather arrived at Heather's house and stood outside for a moment.
"Thanks for the walk," Joey said quietly.
"Anytime," Heather replied as Arata strolled forward from down the street, meowing loudly. Heather knelt and pet the cat for a moment before looking at Joey. "So, what's the real reason you wanted me alone."
"I just… I just wanted to thank you for being here for me, especially the last couple days," Joey said lamely. "It helps."
"Well, I am a doctor and you've been my patient for six years now," Heather said with a shrug. "I'm supposed to listen."
"I thought Ellie was the psychotic," Joey said.
"I think the proper word for the 'real world' would be 'psychiatrist'," Heather corrected. She smiled slightly. "But psychotic can work for her too, sometimes."
Joey smiled and chuckled.
Heather chuckled with him.
As their unanimous humor subsided, Heather looked at Joey. "It's nice to see you smiling again."
"You too," Joey said.
"So… goodnight," Heather said.
"Wait," Joey said quickly.
Heather turned to him.
"Yesterday," Joey said. He took a deep breath, turning serious. "With Tim. I saw the scalpel. You were going to—"
"I was angry and I lost control," Heather said, looking away. "I'm sorry that I let it go so far."
"Well, whatever it was," Joey said, stepping forward. "It didn't start with Tim. I think it was something else."
Heather turned away and didn't offer an explanation.
"Sorry," Joey said, taking the hint. After a few seconds, he shook his head in frustration but spoke calmly. "Well, actually, I'm not sorry, but I'll back off anyway. I'll wait until you're ready to trust me."
"I do trust you," Heather said quietly. "Just not with my past. But I do trust you."
"That's something," Joey said with a small amount of bitterness. He took a deep breath and ran a hand down his face, speaking quietly. "I'm sorry. For real. Tonight's… tonight's not the night for this. We're both tired and—"
"It's a defense mechanism," Heather interrupted, turning back to Joey. She sighed. "Out there… I lost everything I had. And more."
"And I don't have the right to press," Joey said, stepping back. "I'll wait. As long as it takes. Just… remember that you can completely trust me. When you're ready."
"You may be waiting a long time," Heather warned. "What I've been through… things like this don't change."
"I understand," Joey said with a nod. "Goodnight, Heather."
"I'll see you tomorrow," Heather said. She opened the door to her house and turned. "I'll keep the radio close. In case you need to talk."
"Likewise," Joey said.