Reminder that this chapter contains M/M sexual activity - however is not written as 'erotica' (ie, not to make the audience aroused).

_ THE FOLLOWING SCENE IS CLASSIFIED M _

Carson opened the door to his quarters, and pushed Rodney in ahead of him. He followed, his breath hard and rapid with his gaze fixed squarely on the cowering scientist barely half a metre in front of him. Rodney was preparing himself for a loud shouting session, but there was no noise from Carson after the door shut. Instead, Carson grabbed him by the clothing in front of his chest, and swished him around to slam against the door. There was a tense moment between them as Carson glared at Rodney.

"Carson? I'm… I'm sorry…" Rodney mumbled, feeling very uncomfortable with the aggressiveness Carson was displaying. It was only now that Rodney regretted his actions, as he prepared to be punched. Carson said nothing, and much to Rodney's surprise and relief, forcefully kissed him.

Rodney was stunned against the door while Carson snogged him. The doctor needed Rodney, needed to feel him against his body. When Rodney had disappeared, something inside him had just snapped. He had felt an urgency to just hold Rodney close since he'd caught him in the act, but today it became just downright desperate. He just had to feel Rodney was alive, convince his body that his mind was right. He felt like his skin was crawling with a mix of need and anxiety, and he still had a deep yearning for feeling pain.

Rodney had started to kiss Carson back, getting over the shock of it all. They didn't really kiss much, so the whole experience was rather different. Carson's lungs stung for air, but he ignored it. He forced his tongue through Rodney's lips, and the scientist yielded to the advance and opened his mouth. After only a few moments, Carson felt Rodney pull away as much as possible, and so he broke the kiss. Rodney gasped for air, and looked at Carson inquisitively. Carson still had Rodney's shirt in his clutches, and so pulled him closer so their noses met.

"I NEED you." Carson said again, and tugged on Rodney's shirt to get it off.

This time Carson said those words, they weren't angry sounding, but instead lustful. Rodney felt tingles run down his spine to his groin, and coughed awkwardly.

"Carson…"

"Don't talk, just take off my clothes." Carson ordered. He wanted to be submissive to Rodney, but it was hard to initiate and be dominated.

There was a gleam in his eyes that said Carson wasn't open for negotiation. The scientist obliged, rather enjoying being given permission to take the lead. Without much effort, as Carson helped a lot, Rodney had taken off the doctor's clothes down to his underwear. Rodney felt warm throbbing in his crotch from noticing a distinct bulge at the front of Carson's blue striped jocks. Deciding that Rodney was taking too long, Carson started pulling off Rodney's shirt. Within an instant, Carson had shed Rodney of the blue shirt, and had his pants down at his ankles. He then pressed his naked chest against Rodney's, pressing him into the hard door.

"Ack! That's cold, Carson…" Rodney squealed, but Carson didn't care. He rested his head on Rodney's shoulder and revelled in the feeling of their bare skin touching. Carson's internal turbulence felt calmed at the feeling of warmth radiating outwards from Rodney, another reassurance that Rodney was still alive.

Rodney ran his hands down Carson's back, tentatively at first, and then harder after receiving encouraging exhales from the doctor. Rodney's fingers elicited tingles that shot down Carson's spine, and his body shivered in response. He really wanted Rodney's fingernails to dig in and scratch him, but felt it was too early to bring up those desires. Instead, he kissed the tender skin in the nape of Rodney's neck, and closed his eyes to hear him breathe.

"Carson? What's going on?" Rodney asked after a moment of nothing happening.

"What's going on is you, Rodney McKay, are going to take me and fuck me hard." Carson responded crudely.

Rodney's voice faulted, releasing nothing but a squeak. What was going on? Carson never used such language or … sentences. It certainly was having the desired reaction, however. Rodney willingly followed, stepping out of his pants still around his ankles, as Carson grabbed his wrist and tugged him towards the bed.

Once they were both standing before the bed, Carson grabbed Rodney's face and kissed him deeply again. Rodney wasn't so shocked this time and so kissed back, grabbing Carson by the waist. The doctor wrapped his arms around Rodney's neck, and then let himself fall backwards onto the bed… taking Rodney with him. He let out a short exclamation, and fell right on top of Carson. Rodney was about to apologise, but Carson groaned happily. The feeling of not only Rodney's warm skin against his own, but the shifting weight of the scientist, was very pleasurable. He is here, alive, on me. Carson repeated to himself, the turmoil inside subsiding even further. He enjoyed the pressure placed upon his chest, restricting his breathing. Yes, I need this. I almost lost him because of my incompetence as a doctor and partner, I deserve this and more. Carson told himself.

Rodney was aware his weight was pressing down upon Carson, but every time he tried to slide off, Carson would fight him. Carson could see the confusion in his lover's eyes, but didn't explain anything. If Rodney knew even just a little of the desires rolling around inside him, he would likely not want to participate. The guilt of it made Carson feel worse, and desire more pain as punishment… which lead to the desire of being used by Rodney, so it was a vicious cycle.

"Rodney, I am yours… don't hesitate for anything." Carson uttered.

"I… I er, don't even really know what that means…" Rodney admitted.

"I want you, all of you, hard… and I want you to take what you want."

"Yeah that didn't really help." Rodney said, his voice jumping register at the end when Carson bucked his hips upwards. Electricity jolted up through Rodney's body at the movement, and he became aware of just how hard he'd become. He was still a little skeptical about Carson's motives, but the feelings building in his stomach were quickly becoming the dominating thought process.

Carson smiled at how easy it was to tease his partner. He himself was only semi-erect, but he could feel Rodney's stiff member pressing against him. He wanted to make this as pleasurable for Rodney as possible, he deserved as much. So with a strength that defied his build, Carson flipped their positions so that he was atop of Rodney.

Carson slid his hand down Rodney's bare chest, over his stomach, and down over the bulge in his underwear. He pressed hard against it, getting a moan in response, and then slid a finger underneath the material on both legs and expertly pulled it down. Rodney hummed at the feeling of being released from the confines of his jocks, and then at the feeling of Carson's strong hands stroking his length. Carson knew it was rather unsanitary, but he wanted to have that adrenaline kick from the dangers… and so licked the tip of Rodney's cock. Before Rodney had even finished his exhale, Carson dove down and took his entire length in his mouth.

He could feel his throat wanting to close up, and the gag reflex to spit out the foreign object, but Carson resisted the urge and kept the shaft in his mouth. He proceeded to move his head up and down over the length, enjoying hearing Rodney's noises all the while. The uncomfortable feeling of gagging wasn't doing enough for Carson's desires, and so he released Rodney. He also didn't want Rodney to get too close just yet, not when he had other things in mind.

"Car…snn." Rodney uttered, tingling all over from the feeling of Carson's mouth sucking him. The doctor slid up to lick both of Rodney's nipples, and then kiss him gently. The tantalising noises Rodney had made were now having an effect on Carson. Carson bucked his hips so that his now-firm length rubbed alongside Rodney's, the saliva making it fairly easy. Noticing that Rodney seemed to rather enjoy it, he slid both his arms under Rodney's so that he could grasp his shoulders. With his new leverage, Carson started a slow rhythm of thrusts up along Rodney's body.

"Hold me." Carson instructed, and Rodney embraced the doctor while he moved.

Carson could hear Rodney panting in his ear, the breath hot and tingling. Alive. He then picked up the pace, and rested his head on Rodney's chest while giving some harder thrusts. Rodney's heart pounded loud enough for Carson to hear. Alive. He felt Rodney grip onto the skin on his back, delightful pain radiating from where the man's nails dug in. Alive.

"Yes, scratch me Rodney." Carson uttered, and Rodney was too euphoric to question. He kept his nails dug into the Scot's back, and dragged them downwards. Carson hummed at the pain, feeling as if he was atoning for his transgressions against Rodney.

Carson, still listening to the sound of Rodney's breathing, noticed it was beginning to hitch. He then stopped his movements, and let the scientist calm down for a bit. Carson sat upright, his pelvis remaining against Rodney's, but in such a way that the majority of his weight wasn't resting on his partner.

Rodney gave him a 'why did you stop?' look, but Carson just smiled in return. He slowly took a grasp of both their cocks in his hand, and softly stroked up and down. Carson eyed Rodney's member longingly, desire building up inside him to be taken and filled. He needed it.

"Rodney, I need to feel you in me." Carson spoke, is voice hoarse. Rodney said nothing in response, but Carson could feel the pulsing reaction in his hand. Alive.

Carson moved off Rodney, and then positioned himself on his hands and knees facing the head end of the bed.

"Where's the lube and condoms?" Rodney asked as he sat up.

"Don't need them." Carson spoke, knowing that it meant only more pain for him.

"No, you're a doctor, you should know better." Rodney said, not scolding, but just informing. Carson sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Top drawer." Carson said, and watched as Rodney fetched the items and prepared himself. He breathed deeply, remembering this was about Rodney's comfort and his discomfort… and so if Rodney wanted them, he was going to have them.

Rodney was a little hesitant. He had been a little unsure about Carson's desire to be scratched (afterwards, at least), and now the comments about no lube and condoms made it seem like Carson was trying to get hurt. He didn't really want to be the cause of more harm to Carson. But it was only just a thought, and it was possible that Carson was so glad to see him that his inner kinks were coming out, and Rodney didn't want to make it seem not ok for him to have them. Either way, Carson did ultimately want this, and so did he. Rodney pushed the thoughts aside.

Carson felt Rodney hold onto his hips and align himself. He prepared for the sharp stab, but instead tingled at the feeling of cold lube being smeared on his entrance. He exhaled, but then sharply inhaled again when he felt the hard tip of Rodney's cock press against his anus.

"Thrust it all in Rodney!" Carson snapped after a moment of no movement.

"Alright…" Rodney said, sounding hesitant. He slid all the way inside Carson, right until his pelvis pressed against Carson's butt cheeks.

Carson moaned loudly, revelling in the feeling of the large cock penetrating him. Alive. Pain radiated outwards, and his sphincter reactively tried closing. He was glad that Rodney pushed forward despite the added pressure. He knelt there, panting in pain and pleasure, waiting for Rodney's next move. When there wasn't any for a few seconds, Carson rocked gently to feel more of the intense mixed feelings of pain and pleasure. Yes, this is what I need.

"Hnnn." Rodney hummed at the tight feeling encasing him. Carson seemed eager beneath him, and so he didn't hesitate - as requested. He grabbed a tighter hold of Carson's hips, and thrusted forcefully. Carson clawed at the bed, groaning at each thrust. He was in exquisite agony; he felt aroused at the thoughts and feelings of Rodney fucking him hard, and sharp stinging of the abuse his anus endured... his desire for punishment was being fulfilled, but he wanted more.

"Hit me, Rodney..." Carson exhaled.

"Huh? How?" Rodney puffed, getting exhausted already. He wanted to oblige Carson's desires, but didn't want to do it wrong and ruin the mood.

"Slap me!" Carson begged. Rodney felt a little out of his depth, but figured there must be some truth to what he'd seen in films. He tried to slap Carson's arse, but couldn't reach in his current position. But the movement reminded him that his body was aching, and now that the passionate desire was faded, he could really feel how exhausted he was.

Carson could feel Rodney struggle, and then flop his weight down upon him.

"Can't... too... tired..." Rodney huffed, his abdominals burning.

Carson's arms shook holding up Rodney's weight, and Rodney noticed. He lifted himself up, and pulled out.

"Don't worry, I'm not stopping." Rodney teased. "I have now better access for other things."

Rodney gave a smirk, and slapped Carson on the rear.

"Omhr, yes." Carson uttered, adrenaline surging at the sharp sting.

"Oh, you like that?" Rodney cooed, enjoying some playful fun.

"Harder..." Carson mouthed, and Rodney struck again, this time leaving a pink hand mark. The doctor yelped at the pain, but then hummed happily. Alive. And punishing as he should.

"I'm sorry." Rodney uttered.

"Why? This is good..." Carson responded.

"You... don't seem to be enjoying this anymore." Rodney said awkwardly, noticing Carson had gone limp. It took a moment, but Carson understood what Rodney meant.

"Oh, no, no, that's fine. I...I just need to feel you." Carson said. It wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.

Rodney wrapped his arm around Carson's chest, and pulled him down onto the bed, and lay beside him so they were spooning. Even though he enjoyed being manhandled, Carson felt ... unworthy ... of the soft gentle strokes Rodney made on his chest. His stomach dropped while he had a thought - if he cares so much for me, why did he try leave? But he soon scolded himself for such thoughts, knowing Rodney wasn't thinking that way at the time. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and focused on Rodney's warmth against his skin. Alive.

Rodney began to stroke Carson's length while bucking his hips, sending waves of pleasure through Carson's body. He shivered at the feel of Rodney's still hard cock pressing against his rear, the tip sliding into the gap and sliding along down to his perineum. It only took a few strokes and thrusts to make Carson hard again, much to Rodney's delight.

"Enter me, Rodney..." Carson spoke in hushed tones.

Rodney used some more lube before entering again, slowly. Carson's breath hitched and he exhaled dramatically at the feel of being filled again.

"This is better, I can hold you now." Rodney whispered in Carson's ear, and Carson internally agreed. He felt much better being held in the secure grasp of his lover, and with the pain and 'fullness' returned to his body. Carson didn't have to specify for Rodney to hold him tightly; it was the result of Rodney's hard thrusting. Rodney was already getting close again, and the desperation he displayed reassured Carson deep down that he was very much alive and with him. Despite the situation, Carson was feeling much calmer than he had in days.

"Bite me, Rodney, please..." Carson asked, and his partner obliged; Rodney grabbed onto Carson's trapezius muscle with his teeth and softly bit down. It was just hard enough to leave marks, but without any damage. Carson moaned in response, and admittedly enjoyed it more than he should have. Rodney did it again, making Carson's muscle jump in surprise, but causing the same result none the less. Carson could feel Rodney's breath against his tender, damp skin moving up towards his neck. Rodney was panting, and the moist air caused tingles to run down Carson's spine. He noticed that the movements were becoming more jerked, and Rodney had increased his grip on Carson's body, as he drew nearer to climax.

"Car...son... gonna..." Rodney exhaled as a warning.

"Rodney, fill me!" Carson all but shouted, having looked forward to feeling Rodney's release.

"Con...dom." Rodney reminded, his muscles shaking from being overworked.

"Please, off..." Carson begged, pulling away from Rodney, causing his cock to pop out.

Rodney was so close, desperate for release, and so just did as he was asked. With a quick motion of his hand, the condom was shed and Rodney shoved his length back inside his love.

"Oh, God, yes." Carson exclaimed, noticing the sting of less lubrication and looking forward to what was coming. He needed it, no question. Rodney McKay was alive, there, and with him as close as possible.

Rodney thrust hard, grabbing onto Carson's hips, and moaned. Carson could feel Rodney's body tense, and then the feeling of warm liquid spilling out inside him. Rodney continued to moan as his body pulsed from his orgasm, moving slowly to ride out the waves of pleasure. Carson revelled in the feeling of Rodney's cock pulsing inside him, the gentle slick from cum as Rodney slid in and out, and the soft moans near his ear. Even though he hadn't finished, he felt like he had released; his whole body felt warm and relaxed from tension lifting. He lay there with Rodney panting, the scientist flopped half over him.

"You... you didn't finish. We can switch?" Rodney spoke once he caught his breath.

"No, it's fine, really. I got what I needed." Carson said, breathing deeply. "Just lay here with me and hold me close."

Rodney happily embraced Carson as he rolled over to face him. The doctor shifted so his head lay upon Rodney's chest, so he could listen to Rodney's heartbeat slowly return to normal. Rodney softly stroked Carson's back, still reeling from his orgasm.

"I'm here, Carson." Rodney whispered.

"I know."