Chapter Nine
"Dumb ass." Ken chuckled, stopping beside me.
I coughed out a heavy sob, my breath rattling in my chest. I tasted blood. My ankle hurt quite a bit, as did my shoulder. My head and neck also hurt, but I could still move my neck so I knew I hadn't damaged it. As positive as that was to realize, the rest of me wasn't in as good of shape.
With a sigh, Ken crouched beside me, just watching as I forced myself up onto my hands and knees. Dizziness and a brand new pain in my knee, however, knocked me back over again. I just laid there now, sobbing to myself. Hating how useless I was at that point.
Something was wrong. I knew that really went without saying, but it was still hard for me to accept. I trembled, shaking with a weakness I hadn't yet known. It was literally almost too hard to move anymore, and all I wanted was to go to sleep. It was the weirdest feeling.
I just cried harder as Ken reached out and grabbed the back of my shirt in his fist. Giving it a firm tug, he dragged me across the carpet, back to him. I weakly lifted my leg and kicked at him. He chuckled again, grabbing hold of my ankle and flipping me roughly onto my back.
I had to close my eyes once more against the dizziness that resulted, and I just laid there. Even as I felt him crawl over me. He gripped and pinned my lifeless wrists to the floor on either side of my head, and I knew he was looking down at me.
It truly was a chore to keep breathing at this point, much less to find the want to.
"You really are stupid." He told me with a chuckle, "You could have lived. All you had to do was just do what you were told." I didn't reply, opening my eyes and looking up at him. He smiled down at me, resting over me and smothering the breath from me with his weight, "Now, you get to suffer a lot more before you die."
I was so far beyond caring at that point, and could only hope that I died long before he got me. With how cold I could feel that I was, I knew that that wasn't such an outlandish request.
Turning my head, I spit blood all over the carpet. I wasn't swallowing that, as I had plenty in my stomach already, but that just pissed him off, given the growl of irritation he let out. I hadn't even been meaning to piss him off this time, but I guess it did.
He lifted himself off of me, kneeling there over me with a sigh.
"Now I have to clean that." He told me, "But it's okay. We have all night." Instead of replying, though, I took a slow breath in and spit toward his face. Surprisingly hitting him right below his left eye with crimson. He turned his head briefly, wiping the blood off his face and giving me a flat look.
"I can't even be mad at you." He said, "I pity you, but I promise you'll pay for that here in a minute."
At my lack of response to that, he stood up and with a sigh, he picked me up. He scooped me up off the floor and into his arms, turning back around and ascending the stairs again. Up the hall a little ways before walking into his room again.
My heart pounded too quickly, more adrenaline pulsing through me at just the thought of where I was. He dropped me painfully onto the bed, watching as I rolled over again.
"Stay." He told me, "I'll be right back." He chuckled quietly to himself, "Like you're going anywhere."
"I'd rather die than stay here." I whimpered breathlessly against the mattress.
"I bet you would." He replied easily, "But don't worry. You'll be getting your wish soon enough. Now close your mouth. You're getting blood everywhere." Sure enough, I opened my eyes and saw what he was talking about. I hadn't even noticed that blood was escaping my mouth with every breath.
I looked over as he turned and left the room. It tried to scare me to think about him coming back, but I just closed my eyes again. I couldn't help hoping that I never had to open them again.
I no longer felt nauseous. The pain in my stomach wasn't as intense anymore, but I didn't dare try to move. I knew if I did, the pain would return. I felt incredibly small in those few silent moments alone, listening to my heartbeat and my own shallow, forced breathing.
What was I even doing? Why was I even here? It worried me a little to realize I actually had a hard time remembering those small details. Those details, the answers to those questions weren't as easily accessible as they should be. My sluggish mind kept getting stuck on what had just happened, the rest of my thoughts foggy at best.
I didn't have much time to wonder about that. It was almost painful, the rush of relief I felt as I looked up at the slight rustling sound of the curtain being moved. Despite my earlier hopes of never having to open my eyes again, I did without a thought at the slight hint of no longer having to lay here alone.
"Oh, Leandra." Carlisle sighed sadly, and I just cried. The pressure in me was making it hard to breathe, so talking was almost out of the question. My breathing was shallow enough. Edward climbed through the window next, and I glanced over at him.
Even with a brief glance, I could see it in his eyes. It bothered him so much that I was like this now. If I had just taken his offer before, not even thirty minutes before, I might not be in such bad shape now.
I didn't have it in me to feel bad about that anymore. I was far too tired.
Of all the things that could finally get me, it was the fucking stairs.
Carlisle gently sat down next to me, and I looked up at him. I could see it there, too. I wasn't doing well. Even as I laid there, breathing was getting harder, and I knew enough to know that there wasn't much anyone could do anymore.
The rest of me hurt as well, the shoulder I'd landed on being the worst of the other pains. My knee a close second, but I didn't have to capacity to focus on that anymore. As much room as my mind had before, that had gone, right along with my energy.
"He's gonna come back." I closed my crying eyes against new tears, turning my face into the pillow. I was honestly fearful of the thought that I'd have to be strong again. Somehow, I needed to find that strength in me, but it was gone. I couldn't find it anywhere, or even begin to consider ways to find it.
I closed my eyes again, lighter this time as I couldn't help thinking back to earlier in the evening. Standing in that bathroom, just across the room as I struggled hard to mentally prepare myself for whatever the night would bring me. Oddly, I was such a different person then. Hind sight was sometimes hard to come to terms with, but I felt like I needed to. I needed to understand the difference between that moment and now.
"Leandra," Carlisle spoke quietly, and I looked up at him, "I'm not leaving here without you again. I'm taking you in to the hospital."
"No." I mumbled, my voice hardly making a sound. He sighed, obviously preparing to argue with me, so I went on, "I just wanna go home. If you gotta take me somewhere, take me home. It's all I want." I couldn't help it. I was so scared, and in so much pain, the thought of going home was all I could hold onto now.
We'd already discussed what I considered to be 'home', so I knew there was no confusion in that aspect. I was being drawn there, so part of me knew that I was done here. For whatever reason.
Carlisle didn't wait for me to ask again, standing up. My request was more than he could have asked for just a few hours before. It was all I wanted now, my mind too exhausted to even think about holding out against someone like Ken anymore.
Carefully, Carlisle scooped me up and turned for the window. I didn't protest in the slightest because I honestly would rather have died than stay there. I just didn't want to die there. There was a difference.
Ken would come back to find me gone, and probably be really pissed, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Nothing really mattered to me anymore but seeing my home again, which really should have told me something was very wrong. The way I saw it, though, I'd done all I could, and now it was up to them to stay safe.
"Just for a few minutes." Carlisle told me, "Then I'll be taking you in." I didn't disagree with that. I just closed my eyes as he ducked through the window, holding me still.
The sudden drop from the window scared me, but I didn't have it in me to react more than giving a whimper at the way my stomach dropped.
"Edward." Carlisle spoke, so I opened my eyes. It took several seconds before Edward was at our side again. I didn't think much of that.
"It'll be best to run with her." Edward murmured, "We can send Alice back for the car." I agreed. The sooner I got to see home, the better. There was something in the way my heart beat and my forced, shallow breathing that made me feel like there wasn't a whole lot of time left for me.
I hated being carried, but with the pain I was in, I knew I couldn't get anywhere on my own. Much less two states away. I trusted Carlisle, so I just closed my eyes. I had a few minutes to spare, so I would use them by resting. I'd already been through too much tonight.
About a minute later, though, I had no warning. I felt horrible, but I coughed, and instead of air escaping, it was blood. Just that small effort to cough sent more blood than I'd seen yet out of my mouth and nose, all over Carlisle. He didn't even seemed bothered. I choked as I attempted to breathe in nothing but blood. I felt something shifting or catching inside me with every breath in and cough out.
Instinct had me attempting to roll over, just to try to breathe better, but he held me firm. I shivered violently, but I waved that off as being cold. I wished I could have gotten my pants, but I wasn't about to ask to go back.
An overwhelming thought of what Ken would do when he found me missing was the last straw. I had just enough consciousness left to see Carlisle's light blue shirt covered in crimson and black before I felt myself fall limp.
"Clear everyone out." I started to come around at Alice's voice. When I woke up, it felt like I was still sleeping. Like my mind didn't want to work, or was several seconds behind in waking up. We were standing outside, so I looked over. I wasn't looking at a hospital, but the house. The warmth of the lights in the house slowed my shallow breathing, and my heart broke at the sight.
This was all I wanted. I was scared, and I was cold, but being home comforted me.
"Just for a minute." I cried, unable to look away. I ignored how stiff the skin of my face and neck felt coated in mostly dried blood. Ignored the slight itch and the sharp smell of it.
"Just for a minute." Alice replied, "Then we're taking you to the hospital." I could tell in her voice, though, that she knew I only had a few moments left. I recognized it, because I knew it, but this was all I wanted. I didn't want to be saved. I just wanted to be home.
I wanted to apologize to her, but my mind wouldn't form the words I needed to say. She'd just been trying to help me, and I yelled at her.
"Which room was yours?" Alice asked before I could ask.
"The guest room." Edward answered for me as he stepped forward, stopping beside us. I finally looked away from the house long enough to look up at him. For a moment, my mind was blank before it started working again. I wondered if I needed to start remembering everything I could about the visions. Forgetting for a moment that I'd already done that.
"I got it." Edward assured me, and I closed my eyes briefly, "Your job is done, Leandra." My mind went blank again, and I breathed out the relief at knowing that I'd done it. I'd done everything I could to make it okay for them. For everyone. For everyone, except for me.
My mind felt like it was under water. The dizziness only adding to that effect. I was finding it hard to not only focus on my thoughts, but my eyes were swimming in scalding tears that trailed down my cheeks. I'd held on as long as I possibly could, and if it weren't for the fight I'd given, I might have made it through the night. As it stood right now, though, I'd taken all I possibly could. Suddenly all I wanted to do was sleep.
"Carlisle," Edward spoke quietly, "Hurry." The tightness in his voice told me all I needed to know. It was too late to try to fix me, and I could feel that he was right.
"No," Alice murmured, "It can't.."
Her voice faded away for a second, and the next thing I really knew, I was feeling the difference in the air temperature around me. I opened my eyes to see that we were now standing outside my room. All the memories I had of this room crawled forward sluggishly, and weakly, I attempted to fall to my feet.
Carlisle had let me stand, but he never removed his supportive hand from my hand. The muscles in my legs burned and ached, and I trembled with the effort it took to just stand there. My bare feet were cold on the carpet, but I didn't really feel it.
I took one step, though, and my knees gave out. I landed on my knees, my hand braced on the floor. Swallowing back the nausea, I cried with my head hung. Something in me had given up, but I wasn't quite ready to give up along with it. I had one last thing I needed to do first.
"I need to see it." I sobbed once quietly, even as Carlisle gently scooped me up again, "I need to be home."
He carried me into the room I remembered so well. He stepped forward. Further into the room, toward the bed that used to be mine. It looked like a typical guest room in here, but I could still see it as mine. It still felt the same, being in here. Like I'd been gone for so long and finally come home. It was the deepest sense of comfort they could ever have given me.
He made it to the bed before I nodded, and he let me down again. I dropped to my knees next to it. Raising up just enough to lay my upper body on the bed, my head turned to the side to look at the wall. My hands felt the blanket at the foot of the bed, and like I'd done so often to comfort myself, my fingers gently moved against the fabric. Grounding me, giving me a sense of reality.
In all my years here, I'd acquired so many things on the wall, little pictures and things to make this room mine. The placement of the furniture, the window I'd looked out of so often. Through the visions in my head, I could see them again now. Physically seeing the room that I remembered, as if my mind was trying to comfort me in my last moments.
Carlisle kneeled beside me, and Alice came to my other side. I gave no effort to cry. Tears just rolled out of my eyes every time I blinked at the wall. I could feel exactly how vacant my eyes were now, and I knew that physically, I might have still been alive, but that was very rapidly coming to a close. I worried that if I closed my eyes now, I wouldn't be strong enough to open them again.
"I can see it again." I whimpered, my softly trembling voice weak, not looking at either of them, "I-I fixed it. Edward.. He knows.. Everything you'll need to know about everything that goes wrong."
I had to stop talking, as I had to catch my breath. It was getting harder to do that. I felt pressure inside, and the pain had spread as my lungs struggled to work. The breath that left me now was accompanied by a slow trickle of blood. It tickled uncomfortably, but not enough to react to it.
"I'm sorry." I whispered through tears, "I-I know I promised.. Promised that I'd be okay, and I-I.. Thought I would be, but I'm not. But I can see it.. I can see.." I trailed off with a small, confused frown. It was hard to think.
I couldn't remember anymore where I was going with that.
I had just enough left in me for that to bother me slightly, but soon that faded away too. Slipping away like smoke, drifting away like blood in water. Leaving nothing behind, like I was being washed clean. As often as I'd wished for my mind to just go quiet, I enjoyed it now. It comforted me even more, and for the briefest second, I felt like I was being physically moved away from caring.
"Carlisle." Edward spoke up back by the door. His worried tone worried me a little, but once again, that drifted away too.
"Leandra?" Carlisle asked, moving around me to look at my face. I couldn't see him, though. The edges of my vision had darkened, and the rest was closing fast.
What did he want from me? I couldn't remember.
I didn't answer. I couldn't. I was awake long enough to feel a last, warm tear leave my eye. My breathing up until this point had been forced, struggling, but it drastically changed now, and I felt my breathing hitch and stop, which was a slightly scary feeling, but not even half a second later, I felt nothing. My senses seemed to drop off all at once, but one at a time. Like dominoes, but all at once.
Consciousness being last, in an instant.
The very next instant, I could feel the effort. Having no memory of anything else, the sudden rhythmic pressing of my chest disoriented me, hurting my back flat against the surface of the floor. Hearing my name called from far away, but being unable to respond to it.
I could still hear, but my brain wasn't processing what it was hearing. It was just noise, and I didn't understand.
"Carlisle." I heard a smooth, quiet voice demand, "What are you doing? No. Let her go."
"I can't." Came the quiet, firm response somewhere above me, "Not now. Not like this."
"Don't do this to her." The first voice replied, "Remember what it did to me?"
Suddenly, it all stopped again. For the briefest of seconds, it had all stopped again. The very next thing I knew, I was back in that bedroom. Ken's room.
It was pitch dark, and for a moment, I wondered if I'd lost my sight, but my eyes eventually adjusted. It was just dark. Shadows whipped forward, fading into view around me, but they stayed dark. It was disorienting, being back there without knowing how I got there.
Somehow, I knew that I wasn't really there. I was just there in my mind, which was just as real to me.
A harsh, whispered voice startled me, and in an instant, I understood what was happening. This was a vision. A very vivid one, as I felt the pressure against the side of my head.
This was what would have happened had I not done what I'd done when I did it. I somehow now had a complete understanding of the other path I could have taken. Knowing that, however, didn't make me feel less terrified.
Staring at that dark mirror, I could see my own reflection now. Something I'd ignored before. Meeting my own eyes in the glass across the room. The devastating self-hatred came forward as well, just a second before I was forcefully yanked out of whatever vision that had been.
Directly after that, everything seemed to pick up again around me as I clearly heard the sound of my own heart beating frantically. I gasped deeply, pulling in more air than I ever had before in one breath, coughing hard as my lungs seemed to freeze for a second. I arched a little with the force of it, my hands balling into fists before I opened my eyes. It took my vision a moment to start working again. Like a dark cloth covering my face that was suddenly lifted away.
Then I focused on the pain. Not only the excruciating pain my damaged body caused me, but a searing, violently burning pain all through my body, and the emotional pain that vision had caused me tearing a brand new hole in my chest. My sobs ripped free the second I remembered how to.
"Oh, honey.." Esme was here, and she felt for me, "I'm so sorry." I couldn't exactly reply, so I continued to cry. It took me a moment to figure it out.
I was being turned.
What was he even doing? I was a kid. I wasn't supposed to be here. Was this how it was supposed to happen the whole time? I cried now in a mix of intense pain, and confusion, my mind being unable to process what had just happened to me. It was in a roiling panic, which put me further into a roiling panic.
To my further surprise, though, I remembered everything about where I'd just been in my mind. The what-could-have-happened was strong, and it struck me. I focused on it. Being turned now was going to change everything about what I knew.
It was going to bring absolutely everything forward. There would be no place left in my mind for those details to hide. There would be no part of my mind that I couldn't access whether I wanted to or not. I wouldn't be able to hide from any memory, or live in any form of denial because the truth would always be there.
Of course I knew the rule about not turning children applied to children too young to learn, but would it still apply to me? I could be taught, but I was still a child. If by child, they meant anyone who was too young to have developed any.
I stayed awake. I was aware the entire time, but only with myself. I'd retreated as far inside my head as I could get, curling up into myself and just holding on. Clenching my teeth so tight I thought they'd break. Squeezing fists in the sheet I laid on. With as much pain as I'd been in the last few days already, retreating was the only way I knew how to handle this pain now.
Like a cement puzzle, every memory I had of the visions were placed together, connecting with the memories I had of my human life and dragging those memories into this new life with them. While I was hiding away, I watched those very specific memories and visions be placed around me. Almost like a protective wall, forcing me to remember the life I had before.
The strongest memory I had, besides all the pain and heartbreak, was of one specific person I would have given anything to find comfort in again. I held the memory of that person close the whole time, like a security blanket. Curling up around it and keeping it safe just as much as it kept me as safe as it could while being forced to remember all the horrible things I'd been through, both in life and in vision.
There was no confusion about how I got to this point. I probably had a deeper understanding of how I came to this point in my life than most others would. For others, the pain would be impossible to think through, but with as much practice as I had curling into my mind, I had no choice but to remember.
I had my moments of crying, but I knew that no matter how hard I would cry, they couldn't do anything to help me. Crying, for me, was a sort of reset. When the pain would build up to much to ignore anymore, I'd cry for awhile until I could handle it again.
I tolerated my hand being held, and I tolerated being cleaned up a bit. I tolerated my hair being smoothed, because I didn't know what else to do. I didn't have enough experience to know how to handle this much agony any other way.
It was a long several days. Longer than I'd ever experienced before, and it quickly became apparent that this was taking longer than usual. I wasn't even aware that that could happen.
I could hear them talking in the hall, which was how I knew it was taking too long. Instead of the customary three full days, I took four and a half. I stayed in the last phases for over six hours, instead of the usual few minutes, as if my body was fighting it. I could tolerate it, though, because the venom had left ninety percent of my body, focusing on my heart. The last human piece of me.
But I wasn't strong enough to fight it off. Nobody ever was.
Something went wrong, though.
Every other time I'd been turned, there had been a moment of disorientation when I first woke up, giving them a chance to calm me down and explain things. This time, however, there was no disorientation. My instinct, the second I opened my eyes, was to run. To get away. So I listened.
As soon as I heard my heart stop, I came out of my mind as my eyes opened. I took a sharp breath in, and I was up and running. Shoving off of the bed hard enough to completely destroy it, exploding up in a sudden burst of speed none of them had a chance of countering. I tore my way out of the room, down the hall, and straight through the glass of the door in less than half a second. Making an odd sort of sobbing growling sound the entire way. I was extremely fearful, which only pushed me faster. Especially as I heard several others following me.
I had no idea where I was going, but the urge to hunt was actually squashed by this instinct to flee. Immediately, I had to get away. To escape, to just go.
"Leandra." I recognized the voice behind me as Alice, but I didn't stop. I was far too far ahead to even consider stopping. I was running out of straight ground fast, however. A sharp incline, straight vertical rock face coming up quickly. So I jumped at the last second, digging my fingers into the rock and yanking myself upwards.
Instinct told me that it would be near impossible to track me in the water. So as soon as I reached the top, I jumped over the ledge and plummeted down to the ocean below.
Somehow, I was even faster in the water.
I stayed under the water until I heard them all drop into the water as well. Three separate splashes behind me. As soon as I heard that, I turned. Diving deeper, and heading back toward land.
Pulling myself back up easily, I continued to run.
Once my feet hit the stone, I took off. Nearly flying with my speed, my hair blown back behind me. Leaving almost no trace with how few times my feet touched the ground. Dodging foliage and trees, avoiding leaving my scent on anything but the air.
I wasn't even sure how I knew to do that, but it was working for me, so I kept going. I had no idea where I even was. I just knew I'd have to stop soon to hunt. Now that I had outrun the threat, I needed to take care of the burn.
"Leandra." Edward had somehow caught up to me, "Stop." I realized how he'd done it. They were spread out, probably in anticipation of this. I forgot about the burn again, not even bothering to glance back.
With a sob, I pushed faster. Almost desperately running for my life now. It was my instinct to run, and so far, my instinct hadn't led me wrong. It was the inner me I could trust. It had held me, kept me safe during the process of being turned.
"I know you're afraid." He called again, "You don't have to be."
I heard as two more fell into a run behind me.
"Head her off." I heard that, and found more speed. They were just trying to catch me, but I wouldn't be caught. I followed my instinct, aching for a freedom I'd never have if they ever caught me.
"Damn, she's fast." They were further behind me now. I was outrunning them. All except for one. Though he wasn't anywhere near catching me, he wasn't falling behind either.
"Stay on her, Edward." I recognized Esme's voice, the first time I'd heard it like this, and it made me finally look back. I continued to run, but something in it caught my attention. It made me pay attention, however briefly.
"Esme." Edward called back, "Talk to her."
"Leandra." I heard her again, "Stop. It's okay."
It was a trick. It had to be some kind of trick. With one more sob, I turned away. I ran now as fast as my legs would carry me. Taking longer strides.
I could tell I was heading further from any populated areas, but the trees were also thinning out. It was open wider now, stretching in both directions were thick, grassy hills. I could go faster without having to dodge trees. A solid, straight shot forward.
"Leandra!" I ignored her this time, but I couldn't help noticing. I was headed east. I suddenly realized where I was going.
My instincts were taking me forward, leading me to the one person I knew I could always trust. No matter when it was I found him, he always spoke my language. The memory of this person, the same memory I'd held close the whole time I was being turned, was too strong to ignore now.
"Oh, no." Edward heard that, of course, but knowing where I was going lifted any kind of hesitation I might have had. He called again, "Leandra, he's human!"
I didn't care. I needed him. Just the memory of him, of his support and his safety, called me. A firm, steady tug around me that I couldn't deny. I didn't want to.
"Who?" I heard further back.
"She's going to New York to find Mikah."
Just hearing his name set my heart carrying me faster. Now running at the top speed I possibly could, leaving even Edward behind for a moment. It was no longer an option.
"Shit!" Clearly Emmett.
Edward struggled, but he stayed on my tail. The others tried, but they fell away after awhile. I could feel each pull of every muscle in my legs as they carried me further. Closer to Mikah. I listened to them, and quickly found an even deeper depth of strength I wasn't aware of before. Instead of tiring out, I got stronger the more I ran.
I was getting close now. I could feel it. It called me, made it impossible to fight. I would have to time this right. If I stopped, it wouldn't take Edward long to catch me, but the need to see him now outweighed my instinct to stay free or to hunt, which really said something.
I had to slow down, because I was coming up fast. Through town, and thankfully, it was dark enough that there weren't many people out.
Suddenly, he was there. My gaze landed on him, and locked.
I finally stopped across the street from his house. The house I knew so well. I'd known right where to find him, breathing in.
In the darkness, he couldn't see me, but I could see him. He was obviously very human, but I didn't want to kill him. I needed him too much to kill him. Even human, his scent called me. I heard his heartbeat, so strong and loud to me. I would know that heartbeat anywhere, committing it to memory.
I peered at him from where I stood, watching as he frowned at the trash bag he carried to the can at the curb. His jet black hair a bit shorter than I remembered of it, but it fell into his steel gray eyes the way I always remembered. I crouched a bit, taking in every detail of his face. He was such a sight for sore eyes, I almost wanted to cry.
"Leandra." Edward whispered firmly, but I ignored him. He had caught up to me, but was obviously hesitant to capture me on his own. My eyes locked on Mikah. Just as Edward nearly reached me, it pushed me to move. Darting across the street, hiding now behind the neighbor's trash can. I was feet from him.
"Leandra." Edward was getting more upset.
I crouched, scurrying closer but still out of sight. I had his scent now, and I wasn't going to let it go. I'd know that scent anywhere, just as much as his heartbeat. I watched him closely as he sighed, looking around in the dark. I easily remembered how much he always meant to me, even if he had no idea who I was.
I whimpered, not wanting him to go, and I knew he heard me. He paused on his way toward the house, looking back and around. Unable to deny it any more, I stood up.
"Hey." He spotted me quickly, "Where did you come from?" He obviously couldn't see me very clearly, but I saw him. That was what I needed. That connection. Him looking at me, me looking at him. Just to see him.
"Leandra." Edward showed up at my side, forcefully taking my hand, "There you are." I jerked my hand away with a low growl.
"Is she your sister?" Mikah asked him. I could see why he thought that. Edward and I had almost the exact same hair color, but from where we stood, it wasn't possible to get a very close comparison.
"She is." Edward replied, "She has trouble doing what she's told." He gave me a very disapproving look.
"I hear you." Mikah laughed and I looked back over at him, "My brother and sister are the same way. Not that I can blame them much."
"Right." Edward nodded a little, "Well, I'm sorry to bother you."
I hesitated as he tried to turn me around, looking passed Mikah at the house. I could clearly hear the conversations inside. Alyssa and Alex were arguing up the stairs in the back hallway. Emily was busy watching TV in the front living room.
Sammy and Jonathan were both in their shared bedroom, talking about something having to do with school. All of that was enough to make me want to smile, but one conversation in particular made me tense.
Their parents, in the front bedroom, were fighting heatedly. He was really laying into her about something he'd found in her purse, but mostly worried about how much it had cost.
"Leandra, let's go." Edward took my hand again, but yet again, I jerked my hand out of his hand. Before Mikah could even speak again, Edward actually picked me up, turning to walk away.
"Sorry to have bothered you." Edward told him quickly.
"Wait." Mikah requested, and Edward paused, glancing back, "Just.. Wait a second."
I shoved myself out of Edward's arms. I landed silently on my feet, and he only then seemed to notice that I was barefoot.
Mikah seemed to have shaken off his surprise at my sudden appearance, kneeling down as I hesitantly approached. I was nervous, but oddly, not about killing him. I stayed directly on the shadow side of the porch light. It was pitch dark over here, enough to hide most of my features.
He smiled a little, holding out his hand in greeting.
"Well," He said, "It's nice to meet you, Leandra." I looked down at his hand, and actually considered it for a moment. It made me very sad to see him like this. He'd always been the one I would run to to make everything make sense again. Even though he had no idea what was going on, I still found I trusted him.
He continued to hold his hand out, and hesitantly, I let myself breathe in again. The scent so close to me put me on edge, but the trust I had in him made it impossible to hurt him.
I wasn't sure why I did it, but I carefully squatted down. My knees in front of me, my hands rested on my knees. Balled up like this, I was hoping to seem like less of a threat. Despite the fact that he obviously didn't see me as a threat.
He tried hard to study me, growing more curious by the second. I could feel Edward's tension behind me, but he had a direct line to my thoughts. He could see that I would rather die than hurt him. I wouldn't have called it self-control, but more of an instinct to protect, and not hurt this human in front of me.
Even now I had a connection to Mikah that nobody else would ever understand. It was proving itself right then.
"It's okay." Mikah smiled a little, and I couldn't help smiling a little as well. I'd run this far just to hear those words, and he had no idea what that meant to me. He offered his hand again, closer now and I raised one of my hands. Hesitantly, almost fearfully, reaching out to his.
"Leandra." Edward was trying to talk me out of it, but I carefully touched just one of my fingers against the palm of his hand. The temperature difference startled him, making him jump, which startled me, and I quickly drew my hand back. Truthfully, his temperature startled me as well. It was much hotter than I'd anticipated.
"You're so cold." He told me, obviously concerned, and I hid my mouth against my knees. I felt bad for startling him, as that hadn't been my intention at all.
He looked passed me to Edward standing there tensely, "Does she speak?"
I realized then that I had yet to actually say anything to him. I considered speaking, until I heard Esme approaching fast, Jasper and Emmett right with her.
With one more look in his steel gray eyes, I stood up and walked away. He turned, watching after me.
"Right." Edward said again, and the first step he took, I started running.
We'd made it quite a distance, but I wasn't distracted anymore from the burn, and I wanted to get away from Mikah, so I ran back the other direction. Leaving the city within seconds and heading back toward home. I heard them following me, when Esme suddenly called to me.
"Leandra." The tone of her voice was a very firm one, commanding my attention without raising her voice a single octave, "Stop running. Right now." It was so different from any tone she'd used so far.
Making no conscious decision to do so, I stopped. Turning to look back at her. The fact that it took a few seconds for them to reach me told me how far behind they were.
It made me edgy, though, how Jasper and Emmett both stopped behind me. Blocking any chance of advance. Alice and Rose were to my left. Edward stood between Esme in front of me and Carlisle to my right. Creating a sort of tight circle around me.
"Now that," Emmett spoke up, "Is a mom voice." I turned around to look at him, Jasper next. I didn't like being surrounded. I might have been fast, but I honestly doubted my physical strength. I didn't trust my strength. Emmett smiled, probably trying to calm me down.
This was pretty much their first clear look at me since I woke up. For me as well. I'd been too busy running from them this whole time to really look at them. It was unsettling and interesting, getting to know their scents and faces at the same time.
I honestly wasn't sure how to describe the way I felt. Curious, cautious, wary and nervous. Slightly cornered, but they were far enough away that it wasn't too bad.
"She's so cute." Emmett joked, "Can we keep her?"
"Now is not the time to joke, Emmett." Edward scolded quietly, and I turned back around to look at him. Any move or sound anyone made captured my attention.
"So what do we do with her?" Rose asked, slightly bored.
"We'll have to train her, obviously." Jasper sighed, "Carlisle, I hope you know what you were getting us into. I've never handled a newborn this young."
"How hard could it be?" Emmett asked.
"She's been awake twenty minutes and we've nearly lost her already." Alice pointed out, "We're really lucky she hasn't hunted yet."
"She was distracted." Edward murmured.
"A shorty on a mission." Emmett commented, "Who knew it'd be about a boy?"
"I admit, it was interesting." Edward frowned now in thought, "She wasn't tempted to kill him once."
"The way she used to talk about him," Alice replied, "She has a tie to him."
"She interacted with him?" Esme asked, surprised.
"Did he suspect anything?" Carlisle asked next.
"No." Edward replied, "He thought she was a little odd, but he never got suspicious. If anything, he was intrigued by her."
"And she was never tempted to bite?" Jasper asked, puzzled as well.
"A fleeting thought, perhaps, but no. Never tempted." Edward answered quietly.
"How are we supposed to train her if she won't listen to us?" Rose asked, shaking her head, "It's too dangerous."
"She'll learn." Jasper assured her, nodding, "For now, it seems she listens to Esme." He looked to her, "I understand it might be a bit difficult, but you have to be firm with her. If you're the only one she'll listen to, it's up to you to control her until she listens to all of us."
"That could have just been a fluke." Rose sighed, "I don't trust her."
"I do." Esme finally spoke up for me, "Newborn or not, she's a child. Children crave boundaries and guidance. Especially when they're scared." It was a test, I'm sure it was, but as I watched her, she offered her hand for me to take. I hesitated a moment, knowing everyone was watching me.
I couldn't help it, though. The offer was just too tempting. Stepping forward, I took her offered hand slowly.
"I really don't know about this, Carlisle." Rosalie murmured, "Have you forgotten what happened to the Denalis?"
"She can be taught." Carlisle replied thoughtfully, "This is an entirely different situation."
"Besides," Emmett spoke up, "Would rather have just let her die?"
"It would have been more merciful to have let her go." Rosalie replied softly, "This is something I would never wish on my worst enemy, much less a child. Who is now stuck like this. Can't you see? It got better for me because I found my mate, but because nobody thought ahead, she's now forced to live her life alone. There's more to the rule about turning children than their ability to learn. They don't grow. It's cruel."
"She won't be alone." Emmett pointed out quietly, "She'll have us."
"You know that's not what I mean." She countered, "She'll never get to experience anything other than this. She'll have nothing to live for. She'll have nothing to look forward to besides the burn. It's our mates that make this life worth living, isn't it? She'll never have that."
"Though I do think you have a point, Rose," Edward said, "Her mind is different. I can tell you that something like finding a mate will never be important to her. Because she never reached puberty, she'll never develop much of an interest in the opposite gender."
"Then explain Mikah?" Emmett frowned.
"She sees him as her support." Edward replied, "He meant more to her than you'll ever know. She's always seen him as perhaps a best friend, or an older brother she cared deeply for and admired. It's a bit complex, the bond they had. He understands her in a way none of us were ever able to. That support was something intense, and irresistible to a frightened newborn with memories of a vision she once had."
"Okay." Rose murmured after a moment, and I knew he'd eased one of her worries.
Edward nodded, "All that matters to her right now is, as Esme pointed out, guidance and boundaries. She wants the protection of a coven, because she doubts her own strength. It's quite fascinating how different her thought processes and instincts are compared to a physically older and more mentally developed newborn."
"Then why did she run before?" Emmett asked.
"Because the tone of our voices left it an option." Edward replied, "Which is why Esme's tone reached her just now when nobody else's did. Because she craves the protection and guidance, she was waiting for a reason to stop."
"Reason?" Emmett chuckled.
"Have you forgotten what being a newborn is like?" Edward asked him in return.
I turned a bit to look behind me, something having caught my attention. The winds had shifted, bringing a scent straight for me.
"She doubts her own strength?" Emmett scoffed, obviously doubting.
"Physically," Edward replied, "She's smaller. That affects how strong someone is as a newborn."
"That is true." Jasper piped up, "She may be faster, but she can't be much stronger than you, Emmett."
"Why hasn't she spoken yet?" Alice asked, curious.
"She's still quite overwhelmed." Edward answered, "The only one she's been tempted to speak to is Mikah, and even then, she never said a word." He paused for a moment, "My only concern, is that a firm tone won't work when it comes to the hunting instinct-"
I took off before he could finish that. Running right for the new scent and the sound of the strong heartbeat toward the south. Breaking right through the space between Emmett and Jasper before they were prepared. I had no idea what a human was doing out this far this late at night, but I really didn't stop to think about it, either.
"Like that?" Emmett called as they all followed me.
"Exactly like that." Edward answered, struggling to keep up with me.
"Leandra," Esme tried anyway, "Stop!" I did what I could to ignore it, but to their surprise, I did. Sliding a bit, my bare feet digging into the solid grass under me with a frustrated growl from me. Another, smaller circle was formed around me a split second before I was physically restrained from behind. Solid stone arms braced themselves around me, pinning my arms to my sides and lifting me off my feet in an odd sort of bear hug.
I wasn't even expecting the sound that came out of me as I suddenly thrashed. He squeezed tighter in response, grunting with the effort to hold me.
"Damn." He laughed, the sound strained over the sound of my snarls, "She's an animal, but I think you're right about the whole strength thing. Settle down, shorty. You're okay."
I was definitely not settling down. When I couldn't get free, I cried. It was a single, wailing cry of irritation and slight fear at being stuck somewhere I couldn't get out of. An instinct buried in me by my final few days as a human. When I couldn't get away, I couldn't help the cry that escaped.
To my intense surprise, though, it worked. Emmett instantly let me fall to my feet. The second my bare feet touched the ground, I shoved Emmett back and I took off again.
"Why'd you let her go?" Jasper demanded as they followed.
"I don't know." Emmett replied defensively, "I thought I was hurting her."
"She's a newborn." Jasper pointed out, "You would have to use a lot more force than that to hurt her."
"Leandra." Esme called ahead, but this time, I wasn't listening. I had to keep going. There was no longer a choice in it.
I pounced hard on the human, taking the poor guy down with unnecessary force. He didn't even have enough time to inhale in surprise before I'd ripped his throat out in my haste. I was admittedly angry. Viciously biting into his neck in a spot I hadn't destroyed yet. Sealing my teeth over the wounds.
There was blood everywhere. My goal was to feed, not to be neat about it.
I could hear them approach, grabbing onto the body with every bit of strength I had in case they tried to take him away from me.
"So.." Rosalie sighed from where she and the others stopped, "Do you see my point yet?"
"Alright, shorty." Emmett sighed, stepping forward. My eyes were right on him, but he ignored Jasper's attempts to stop him.
"Emmett." Esme murmured, "Don't go any closer."
"Bad shorty." Emmett scolded me, "Drop him." Was he trying to make a point? Now really wasn't the time.
The sound of my sharp inhaling hiss rattled a bit around the blood I drew from the body beneath me, but he just kept coming. He leaned over, reached for the body, trying to pull it away from me without getting bitten, but I just held on. Being tugged across the ground with it. Growling at each tug.
He tried picking the body up, but again, I just held on. Digging my fingers into the clothing still attached, clinging to it. He shook the body a little, but I didn't budge.
"Once they're feeding," Jasper spoke up, "It's best to leave them, Emmett."
"Nah." Emmett replied, "If she hasn't attacked me yet, she's not going to. I mean, look at this." He turned around, holding the body up by the arm as I clung onto it.
I could tell that I'd nearly drained this guy, and that worried me. I wasn't done.
"Put it down." Alice rolled her eyes. Emmett did the stupidest thing he ever possibly could, reaching for me now instead of the body.
I snapped without thinking, biting into his arm the first chance I got. His shout of pain, though, stopped me as I tried to jump back, but he caught an awkward hold of my neck in his hand.
Feeling that, though, I turned on him. I managed a second, more thorough bite on his shoulder before he brought his other arm down onto me full force, flattening me to the ground by the back of my neck, his knee landing on my lower back.
I grunted with the force, dazed for a moment. Until I looked over, seeing the others approach. I couldn't look up too effectively, so all I saw were shoes.
A/N: Well, that sucks, but.. It happened.
First off, I'm so sorry this is so late. I had to use my phone to get this out, as we still don't have net here. Tomorrow, for sure. RL is still really hectic and busy as we settle into a new routine, but it's slowing down. I'll also admit that I've been very, very tired. Mentally and physically drained, but I think I just need a day or two to recoup. I hope to find somewhat of a normal groove here soon.
Second, THANK YOU! To my reviewers and supporters of last chapter! You guys are AMAZING! Seriously. HUGE THANK YOU!
As for Ten, I'm really hoping to get that out to you guys soon. As soon as I possibly can.
Until Ten, my beautiful readers! (: