Chapter Eleven
"Okay," Emmett sighed, "Run that by me again?"
"I don't know." I repeated that for the thousandth time, "I already told you. It sounds like people talking, but really, really quietly. I don't smell them, or see them. I just hear them."
"Them? As in, more than one?"
"Yes." I sighed, irritated, "You're starting to bug me."
Unfortunately, Carlisle and Esme still weren't back yet, but Rosalie was now sticking around. I wasn't sure if that was her own choice, or if she was only there because Emmett might have requested it, but part of me wished she'd just go back to doing whatever it was she usually did when she wasn't here.
"Sorry." Emmett replied, "But this is kind of important. If someone is out there, and we don't know it, well.. That gives them the advantage, doesn't it?" He had a point.
"They don't sound mean." I said, hoping that would ease him.
"Shorty, you don't sound mean, but you are." Gah. He had another point.
"What worries me is the fact that she can hear these people talking, but we can't." Jasper frowned at the floor.
"Maybe she is actually crazy." Rosalie suggested, and I glared over at her.
"I don't think that can happen." Jasper replied dismissively.
"It could just be her ability." Alice suggested next, "She just needs to work on it. Until we know how turning her this young has affected it, we won't know what it does."
"Good point." Jasper nodded a little, and he sighed, "Until we see some evidence of any potential visitors ourselves, I don't think we should get too worked up about this. We've got enough to worry about, I think."
"Come on, shorty." Emmett said, and I looked over, "I'll take you for a hunt." I only realized then that it'd been awhile, and the reminder was a harsh one.
"Not alone." Jasper corrected lightly, and I looked to him next. I understood his reasoning. I was still a flight risk, even if I'd started thinking rationally, and it was now daytime.
"I think we should stay until Carlisle gets back." Rosalie murmured, and I whined, "The last thing we need is to leave this place unprotected right now."
Jasper sighed, "She's right."
"But you said I could hunt whenever I wanted to, as long as I didn't hunt humans." I reminded him, "Well, it's whenever I want to, and you're not letting me."
"Obviously, when I said that, I didn't think there would be an issue." He countered, still in thought.
"Well, you should have thought." I growled, "Because this sucks. You can't just do that."
"Plan B." Emmett said, already moving for the door, "Stay put, shorty. I'll be right back." Confused, I watched after him as he left the house.
Despite what he said, I moved outside anyway. Much to their nervousness, given the way they followed me closely. It really was hard to stop myself from following Emmett, but with Jasper in the way, I actually thought twice.
Emmett was only gone maybe thirty seconds before he stepped back into the yard. Dragging a large, struggling deer behind him.
"It's not the same." He said, "But I think it'll tide you over until Carlisle gets back." I wasn't about to complain. He released the deer, and before it could even get back on its feet, I was on it. It wasn't the same as going out and hunting for myself, but I didn't mind delivery. I wasn't picky.
"Very good idea, Emmett." Jasper told him, and he grinned proudly. It was a quick solution, and I had to agree that it was a good idea.
And he was right. It helped me hold out for the hour it took for Carlisle and Esme to get back. I could tell, though, by their expressions that they weren't happy about what Carlisle had just had to do. I could tell by the way they would look at me now and then.
"It's done." I overheard Carlisle telling Jasper, "All those that need to know have been notified." That made me a little sad to think about. My mom and dad now believed I was dead.
"Now what?" I asked hesitantly, and they both looked over at me.
"Yeah." Emmett spoke up, "Are we moving, or staying here? We never finished that part of the discussion."
"Great." Rosalie grumbled, "We just moved here, and now we have to move. Again."
"Would you shut up?" I couldn't help snapping, glancing over as Esme came to my side but I went on at Rose, "You act like I wanted to ruin your life. Get over it already."
"I'm waiting on a few more details first before making that decision." Carlisle spoke up before Rosalie could reply, "Though Leandra did have a few human ties, I believe it would be in our best interest to wait awhile before moving anyway."
"Why?" Rosalie asked him, "I don't like it, but if anyone she knows sees her-"
"They won't." He assured her, "I have my reasons, Rosalie." Silence fell in the room for a moment, and I looked down. I really wasn't trying to cause trouble for anyone. Shaking her head, though, Rosalie left the room.
With an apologetic smile, Emmett followed her.
"Carlisle," Jasper took his attention, "Did you cross any new scents in town?"
"No." He replied, slightly concerned, "Why?"
"We can't be too careful." He answered, "Leandra swears she hears someone talking outside, but we haven't found anything."
"Not, like, right now." I mumbled, "Just sometimes when it's quiet."
"Odd." Carlisle frowned a bit in thought, "We'll be alert."
"We'll need to be alert anyway." Esme added quietly, "I'm sure it'll be fine."
"How long ago did she hear this talking?" Carlisle asked.
"About an hour ago." Jasper replied, "But.. We've already checked. There's been nobody out there."
"I really think it's a part of her gift." Alice murmured from the side, "I don't think we need to worry."
Carlisle looked to me, "What does this voice sound like?"
I wasn't sure why he was asking me after what Alice had just told him, but I sighed. Thinking about it, it was a bit hard to describe.
"Quiet." I answered, "Really quiet. Like I wouldn't hear it if I wasn't already listening to other things, but I know there's more than one. It's hard to tell them apart sometimes, but there's like three."
"I see." He nodded a little, obviously thinking. After a long silence, he sighed as well and looked to me again, "Please let me know if you hear it again." I nodded easily, but something about this whole situation seemed really familiar to me. I couldn't pin-point exactly where it seemed familiar from, but I couldn't shake it.
"What is it?" Carlisle asked, and I realized I wasn't as good at hiding my expression as the others were.
"Nothing." I mumbled, and though he seemed reluctant, he let it go.
Thankfully, it wasn't brought up again the rest of the day. I had a different distraction to focus on.
What I remembered of the last time I'd actually been turned, I couldn't go as long between hunts as I could now. Last time, I had to hunt more often and it took more blood to tide me over. Now, I could already go a few hours between hunts and I didn't need as much. Of course, I knew that was because I was smaller, but it still seemed strange to me. Even the others seemed confused.
Between hunts, I spent a lot of time just listening. Waiting for that whispering to come back. Honestly, I didn't expect it to. I couldn't help doubting now what I'd heard. It was probably some specific way the wind blew through the trees. Some specific way a leaf was brushing another.
As strong as that doubt in myself was, the other emotions hung around. I'd thought sure they would get easier to handle if I opened up a little bit to the others, but they stuck. I could feel both the anger and the pain churning, just waiting to wash over me again, and it scared me. I felt like a ticking time-bomb, and I wasn't sure how or even if I could keep myself from exploding.
Once again, the more agitated I got, the more still I became. I was learning fast to recognize the way my muscles would stiffen. The more still I became, the more I would dwell on the memories I had in my mind. Once more, they focused mainly on those last few human days. Like there was something I was missing, but desperate to figure out.
Tuning everyone out, I ignored them. I could remember the events of that night very clearly. More clearly than I should. Including that vision I had sticking me on the path of what could have happened.
It took me a few hours, but I finally figured out why I was dwelling so much on those last few days. The further back I went, the less it worked, but I knew the outcome of every possible choice I'd been faced with. It wasn't just about that night. It was about every choice I made going back to that last beating that had essentially taken my life.
The one outcome I focused most on was the choice I'd made to go to school that day. Going to school that day was exactly where I should have changed everything, but back then, my gift wasn't strong enough to warn me against it. I never should have gone.
If I never would have gone, Jack would have discovered my injuries, but because I never would have known Alice or Carlisle, Jack wouldn't have felt as cornered and he'd have taken me to the hospital with plenty of time to spare to save my life.
After that, things would have carried on as normal, except Jack would have been more careful. I would have grown up, alone but alive. I couldn't say that I'd have been normal, but it would have sorted itself out in time to get married eventually. Just like Heather did.
If I had stayed home that day, instead of going to school, I never would have known Heather, as Jack wouldn't have allowed that. I never would have known Josh or Zack, but I also never would have known Ken.
I wasn't sure if that was a fair trade or not.
I never would have met Andrew, so I didn't know how he'd turn out. He'd probably be much happier.
If I never would have gone to school that day, the only other person in my life would have been Jack. It would have been a lonely life, but everything would have turned out okay. Nobody would have ever known about me or my gift or the abuse I lived with.
I couldn't help wishing, just a little, that I'd changed that decision that morning.
"Shorty." Emmett was calling my attention, and I finally snapped out of it long enough to look over at him. The depression ate at me, so I didn't look at him for very long. Hardly a blinking glance.
He sighed, "Come on, shorty."
I was back to my silent self, and I knew I shouldn't, but I clung to it this time. Silence kept me safe. Hardly a day of this life, and it was already clear that I wasn't doing well. I felt more heavy emotion than I should, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why.
"I think something's wrong with me." I mumbled almost silently, resting my chin on my knees.
"No." Emmett replied, "There's nothing wrong with you."
"It.." I whimpered, "Just.. Doesn't stop." I pressed my palm flat against my forehead, and he seemed to understand.
"You're overthinking." He told me gently, "We all do it. It usually happens when we're given too many things we have to focus on at once."
"It wasn't like this last time." I shook my head.
"Last time, you didn't have two other sets of memories stuck in there." He countered, "Like Jasper said. Just be patient with yourself. It's a huge change."
"That don't work for me." I argued, "It feels like I'm missing some things. Like I'm stuck, no matter how much room is in there now."
"More room doesn't mean much when all that space is filled up." He replied, "Give it time, shorty. You've got more time now than you'll know what to do with. It makes no sense to rush yourself."
"Like I'm trying to get nowhere faster." I understood, looking away.
"Try not to think of it like that." He said, "It'll only mess you up."
"I know." I sighed, resting my chin back on my knees again, "I can't help it, though. There's so much, it's almost too much."
He was silent for a few moments before he sighed, "Are you ready for a hunt yet, shorty?"
"Is it normal to be tired?" I asked instead of answering, looking up at him as he came to my side, "I feel so tired."
"Shorty, you're a newborn." He replied, frowning a little, "I think it's impossible for you to be tired."
"No it's not." I said, "Because I do. I mean, not like.. Strong tired, but everything else." He nodded slowly in understanding.
"You're letting everything drag you down." He sighed, sitting next to me, "You're sad and confused. Being turned the way you were does that to us. As much as I want to go rip those two bastards apart for everything they've done to you, I won't."
"Why not?" I asked, surprised. He'd certainly changed his tune.
"I won't take that from you." He replied with a small smile, "Because one day, I know it'll be your job to do it on your own." I really wasn't sure about that. I tried to imagine myself doing something like that, but I just couldn't picture it.
"I just wanna be done with them." I mumbled, standing up. He stood up as well.
"You'll change your mind." He seemed so confident about that, "Until then, I'm gonna personally keep tabs on them both. Just let me know when that day comes, and I'll let you know exactly where to find them."
I shrugged a little. Whatever made him feel better. I glanced up at him before stepping around him and looking out the window. It was nearly evening, and I'd only hunted twice today.
"God." His tone had me looking back at him, confused. He was watching me, but I couldn't tell what his problem was.
"What?" I asked quietly.
"I might joke about it," He said, "But you have no idea how bad this bothers me."
"What does?" I asked when he fell quiet.
"This." He gestured to me, "Shorty, I didn't know they made ones as small as you."
"Don't remind me." I mumbled, looking down at myself. The clothes I wore were a little baggy on me, ones we weren't afraid to lose in case hunting got messy again. Only emphasizing my small frame.
"It breaks my heart, kid." He admitted quietly, gesturing to me again, "This should never be needed." I really wasn't sure how to reply to that. Looking back down at myself. Was I seeing the same thing he was seeing? The fact that I had to look up to see his face, even from way over here, told me I probably wasn't seeing things from the same perspective.
I shrugged again, looking back out the window.
It did make me wonder, though. Finally focusing on something besides the never-ending circle my thoughts were stuck in. Was I really the youngest one of my kind out there? I highly doubted there were any vampires out there that never knew the rule. Everyone knew the rule.
Even with as old as I was, it was still very wrong for Carlisle to have turned me. I knew that from my time spent with Aro. Jane and Alec's age was pushing it, a little too close to the child stage at thirteen. I was positive that if anyone ever found out about me and what Carlisle had done, he would be in a lot of trouble.
But was I really the only one? That was a very lonely thought. I was starting to see, though, that I was a little different than my family. I couldn't quite pinpoint the difference, but it was enough to notice.
That was another thing that was bothering me. The differences. Maybe this was why I couldn't really understand what Emmett was talking about and why he didn't seem to understand me, but could physical age really make that big of a difference in how someone turned out? Weren't we all the same?
Then I thought about it. Physical size made a huge difference in strength as a newborn. Jasper had confirmed that himself, and I definitely agreed with him on that one, so why couldn't physical size or age make a huge difference in other ways as well?
All I knew for sure was that Esme really seemed to understand me. More than the others, and I deeply appreciated the fact that she was on my side. Especially when Rosalie was being a real bitch.
I glanced back as Jasper and Alice both entered the room, coming right to Emmett's side.
"Has she hunted yet?" Jasper asked him almost silently. Of course I heard him perfectly, but I chose to stay in my thoughts.
"We gotta talk." Was Emmett's reply, and I listened as Jasper followed him outside. Leaving me with Alice, which I dreaded, knowing she would want to talk. The sound of the door closing washed the room in silence until she slowly moved forward.
I knew she'd want to talk about what happened that night since we were alone, and as much as that bothered me, I wasn't sure I would even know what to say. I would have to start somewhere, because I would rather just get it out of the way, than let it drag on.
"I know." I mumbled, taking control of whatever conversation there was bound to be, "I know. God, I'm so stupid."
"No you're not." She seemed surprised I would even say that, "Leandra, you were doing exactly what you believed was right. That doesn't mean you're stupid."
"I just never thought in a million years that Carlisle would ever change me." I admitted, glancing over as she arrived at my side, "I thought I'd just die and be done with everything."
"None of us knew he would do that." She admitted, "I didn't even see it coming, but I suppose it makes sense."
"It does?"
"He wasn't done helping you." She replied, "When he'd done all he could otherwise, and turning you was the last option, it was a split decision he'd made all on his own. It seems that everything you went through just to try to protect us, as foolish as that was, was just enough to sway him in those final moments."
"But I didn't ask to be turned." I frowned a little, "I never even thought about asking, because of how young I am."
"You didn't have to ask." She murmured, "Just in knowing what all you willingly put yourself through for us, it shed light on exactly what kind of bond you'd built with us."
"You still have no idea." I muttered, shaking my head a little.
"He couldn't let that bond.. Or that strength and determination die in vain." She said, "Leandra, the way you died is one of the most painful ways a human can die. Yet you chose it."
"It was the only way." I reminded her, "If I would have given up, it would have all started over again. I was right when I said that. I know that now."
Taking a breath, she nodded a little.
"But now I feel weaker than I did before." I admitted and she looked over, "Like I just gave everything I had away, and now I have nothing left."
"You'll get it back." She murmured, "It just takes time."
"How much time?" I asked, "Because it really sucks feeling like this."
"You're still adjusting."
"That's what everyone keeps saying. How long's it supposed to take?"
"It's different for everyone." She answered, "We'll be here the whole time."
"Why does Carlisle want to wait?" I asked, "To move?"
She hesitated, as if she didn't want to answer at first.
"It goes back to your reasoning before." She finally said, "Exactly how would it look if we were to just up and move away right after you died? Especially with.. Jack's suspicions before, and the fact that Heather had contacted Carlisle the same day you supposedly died. It would be more conspicuous to leave."
That made sense, so I nodded.
"How is Heather?" I asked quietly.
"She's recovered well." This seemed easier for her to answer, "But she's far from okay, the last time we checked on her."
Right. She would be one of the ones that needed to know.
"How long has she known?" I wanted to know how long she had left to suffer.
"The paperwork was finalized yesterday afternoon." She replied, "Officially, you died on Friday at 12:06pm. Immediate family got the news first. Heather was told this morning." I nodded a little. I actually appreciated how honest she was being with me. These were things I needed to know.
"I wish I could tell her." I admitted sadly, "I know I can't, but she doesn't deserve to hurt. She tried so hard to help me."
"We'll keep an eye on her, Leandra." She assured me, and I nodded. That was the best I was going to get. She sighed, "I know you have so many questions, and I promise to answer as many as I can, but you have to hunt. Deal?" Not surprisingly, now that some of my questions had been answered, it was easy to agree to that.
"Is Carlisle coming with us?"
"Not this time." He answered from behind us, and I turned to look back at him. I'd known he was listening in, so I wasn't exactly surprised that he was there.
"Why not?"
"I have one more thing I need to take care of here." He replied simply, but by the way he said that, I knew I shouldn't press. It was a very subtle change in the way he spoke that I never would have heard before, so instead of continuing to ask, I just nodded a little and looked down. I trusted him, but I couldn't help being curious. What else was there?
I led the way from the house right as Jasper and Emmett were returning, Alice right behind me. A specific hunting area had been designated during the last hunting trip, not far from the house but in a safe direction, and I would try not to stray this time.
I took my two smaller deer, and ignored Emmett's teasing chuckle when I couldn't take another.
"She's literally half your size, Emmett." Alice defended me, "Of course she's going to require less."
I walked away, heading at a slower pace back toward home.
I was already feeling bitter about being forever stuck as a nine-year-old the height and weight of a larger seven-year-old, but Emmett picking on me made me feel worse. Not even being turned could fix the fact that I was behind size wise. I knew it wouldn't, not that I didn't wish it would have. It just sealed my fate of being tiny.
I pursed my lips and continued on, ignoring their quiet bantering behind me. I paused, though, at finding a puddle of water nestled against a fallen tree, and I was quite curious. I stopped, finding my own reflection for the first time as I looked down at it.
I wasn't sure if they worried about my reaction, as they were silent behind me, but I ignored them.
At first my reflection surprised me, because I wasn't used to seeing my face like this, but this young. Older was one thing, after I'd had a chance to mature a bit. This was much different. I could see a bit of what Emmett had been talking about regarding my looks. There was no mistaking this.
I wasn't really taken off guard by the crimson eyes looking back at me, but framed by my face, they seemed deeper. My hair hung down, creating a curtain on both sides of my face, so I reached up and tucked the left curtain behind my ear.
I was suddenly glad that I never cut my hair. It still hung just passed my shoulders, dark auburn in color. I would miss my green eyes, though. My eyes were the one thing about me that I actually liked.
I continued on, though, tearing my gaze away from my reflection with a small sigh.
"You okay, shorty?" Emmett asked me, and I shrugged a little.
"Just not used to it, I guess." I replied quietly, "I've always been a lot older, but I don't care."
"You don't care?" He asked.
"Not really." I mumbled, "I don't have enough room in my head to care. I'm already caring about too many things."
"Feels like that sometimes, huh?" Emmett nodded a little, and I nodded a little as well. It was quiet for a moment.
"So I guess you won?" I asked, looking over at him.
"What do you mean?"
"Jasper hasn't really tried to push me around since you guys fought about who gets to teach me stuff." I explained, and he laughed a little in understanding.
"I won." He confirmed, "He might step in, though. He does have a lot more experience with newborns."
"I know."
"And he wasn't trying to push you around." He went on, "He's just trying to teach you to stay safe."
"I know." I repeated, but didn't offer anything else, falling silent. Staying safe was the last of my concerns, which was probably why everyone else thought they needed to care. I still just wanted to run away, and never stop.
Logically, I knew that I couldn't do that, and I half wondered where I would end up if I ever tried that, but I knew everyone else wouldn't let me do that. It would be too hard to explain the way I felt to anyone, so I kept silent about it. The nagging, tugging feeling I felt right alongside every other instinct I had in me. Though I didn't remember feeling like this the other times I was turned, I was sure they'd just tell me that it was normal.
As we approached home, I had to slow to a stop. I picked up a new sound I wasn't used to hearing. It took me a moment to figure out that it was the sound of a car approaching the house, traveling fast on the drive. No, not a car. Something bigger..
It confused me, as I paid more attention to it than I wanted to.
"Stay here a minute, shorty." Emmett murmured, his tension betraying him.
"Who is that?" I asked, looking up at him. Whoever it was, was human, so I knew why I needed to keep my distance.
"Nobody important." He replied simply, gently taking the back of my shirt in his hand in an attempt to pull me back, but I jerked away and rounded to glare at him.
"Don't do that." I snapped, harsher than I meant to, "Ever." Of course he had no idea why that would bother me so bad, but I wasn't exactly in the mood to explain.
"Okay." He replied defensively, "But we need to go back this way."
As stubborn as I wanted to be, I didn't want to slip up again and kill whoever was arriving at the house and climbing out swiftly. I moved to turn around, to follow Emmett's instruction, until a horribly-timed breeze smacked me right in the face.
It was that scent that made me stop, and it halted that cooperation right in its tracks. It wasn't the scent of blood, though that was there, but something else. I recognized the scent of cologne, and it made me tense. It was so much the same as I'd smelled before, but deeper.
It was Jack.
"Leandra." Alice tried to call my attention, but that wasn't happening. Tension and deep-rooted nervousness set my jaw and clenched my teeth as I turned back around. She reached for me, and I flinched away with a small warning growl. I might have been somewhat of a match for Emmett, but I had a feeling I could take her on if I had to. She realized this as well, glancing over at Emmett.
The rough pounding knocks on the front door still had my attention, so I listened close. What did he want?
Emmett moved for me, but I darted away, closer to the house to listen. I crouched behind a tree, listening to the exact moment that Carlisle opened the door. His sigh, and in the sound, his dread.
"Shorty." Emmett grumbled, obviously annoyed.
"Shh." I hissed over my shoulder. I needed to hear this.
"I need answers." Jack spoke firmly to Carlisle, "What the hell happened?" His tone was one I'd never heard before, and had no clue how to go about identifying the emotion behind it. I knew this wasn't going to end well, and my tension rose in response.
Carlisle sighed, "I'm not sure-"
"Look," Jack barked, "I'm taking a huge fucking risk being here, the least you can do is tell me what I want to know. You're the one that examined the body, aren't you? That's what the form said."
Jack was here about me. Not a huge surprise, but it was nice to figure that out. This must have been the thing Carlisle had to take care of. Knowing Jack was coming was a good reason not to come with us on a quick hunt. Of course, he was probably hoping we'd be gone longer, but it got me out of the house regardless.
I couldn't really figure out how I was supposed to feel either. There were so many intense emotions rolling through me at that point, I didn't give much effort into figuring out what they were.
Jack's tone changed again. He was quieter, "Tell me you got it wrong. Tell me you made some kind of mistake. It can't be her."
Carlisle tried again, "I understand how hard this must be to accept-"
"I don't fucking accept it." Jack replied sharply, his previous quiet tone gone, "That's why I'm here. I haven't seen a fucking shred of proof. Show me one shred of proof, and I'll never come back here, but until I see some proof, you've got some hell to pay. Y-You can't just hand me some shitty piece of paper and expect that to be it. Are you fucking crazy? Do you really think I'm just gonna take your word for it? Do you really think I'm just going to believe you?" He paused for a breath, "Where is she now? I wanna see it. I know the law. Nobody can do fucking shit with her body without my say so, no matter how fucked up it is."
Nervously, I looked over at Emmett. Carlisle was in trouble. He had no proof, because I was standing right here.
"Please." Carlisle said, "Come inside." Probably knowing I was out here listening. He just wanted to get him further away from me.
"I'm not going in there." Jack replied, "You're gonna answer me right here. You're the fucking doctor. You tell me exactly what went wrong, because before I came here, I took a little side trip. You tell me exactly why there is no record whatsoever of her ever being treated in the damn hospital. Hell, most of this form is fucking blank. This form doesn't tell me anything. Nobody can tell me a goddamn thing. You're the one that fucking signed it, so you tell me what the fuck happened."
I waited while Carlisle stayed silent for a moment. I didn't even breathe. If he was coming up with a story, he needed to make it a really convincing one without proof, because Jack was pissed off and getting more pissed off by the second.
"It's true." Carlisle finally spoke, "She was never treated in the hospital. She never had a chance to be. Her injuries were far too extensive to allow her to make it that far. The official cause of her death was intra-abdominal hemorrhage due to traumatic rupture of the inferior mesenteric artery, following a severe blunt force abdominal injury. Meaning, Mr. Wallace, that you beat her so badly, you caused enough internal bleeding to kill her slowly and painfully."
I tensed even more. He'd just accused him. That was stupid, because now, he was only going to get more pissed. That might have been the plan, though. Piss him off enough to make him forget why he was there, but that wouldn't work. Not with Jack.
"I didn't lay a hand on her." Jack replied sharply.
"That's a lie." Carlisle countered immediately, his own tone sharp, "You're quite right when you say you're taking a huge risk by being here."
"Okay," Jack barked, "Then tell me. You're so convinced I did something to her. Show me the proof."
Once again, he didn't have any.
Jack's voice quieted, "It would be your word against mine. Even if I did anything to her, which I didn't.. Look at me. If I did want to beat her, she wouldn't survive it."
"She didn't survive it." Carlisle reminded him.
"I'm still not seeing any proof." Jack snapped lightly, "Whatever you're telling me doesn't prove a damn thing. I'll ask again, since you can't fucking figure out what I want. Where is she?"
Carlisle's silence worried me.
"I don't know what you're trying to pull." Jack went on, "But this?" I clearly heard the sound of a paper being ruffled, "This doesn't mean shit to me. If you don't figure your shit out by nightfall, I'll be coming back to burn this fucking house to the ground."
I whimpered quietly, hiding my face against my knees. I hated that tone more than I hated anything in the world. It was in that tone that I understood exactly what was going on in Jack's mind.
"You literally have nothing to be afraid of." Emmett reminded me, surprised.
"I know that." I mumbled, "I know he can't hurt me, but he still makes me feel small. I used to be so scared of him. I guess that followed me."
"Is this normal?" Emmett asked, looking back at Jasper, "She knows she could crush him like a bug, but still feels like this?"
"One thing I've learned, Emmett.." Jasper replied, "Is that there is no set 'normal' for any newborn. Yes, there are some expected behaviors, but anything beyond that can be as varied as human traits. It really just depends on the circumstances around them."
"But to be afraid of a human?" Emmett asked with another frown, "That's just so wrong."
"I'm not afraid." I replied sharply, standing back up, "I used to be afraid."
"Human thoughts and behaviors like that have a pretty large impact on a newborn's temperament." Jasper explained further, more calmly than I could, "Just like the human trait that sometimes develops into an ability, their most intense emotions sometimes get carried over as well. In Leandra's case, it's fear. It may seem strange to you, but to her, it's instinct to fear him."
"Do you think that's why she doesn't trust her own strength?" Emmett asked, suddenly curious. Vaguely, I listened to the sound of Jack driving away. Reminding me that there were more important things to focus on besides this conversation.
"Quite possibly." Jasper nodded, "Over time, that'll go away, but for right now, those emotions are still raw. It's a seemingly irrational vulnerability that she can get passed over time, but for now, it's best not to tease her about it."
"Leandra." Carlisle was calling me back home, so I immediately turned around and started for home. It was a five second trip with how close we already were. Exiting the trees, I could still smell him, and that only raised my tension level. I could have gone the rest of my unnatural life without knowing Jack's scent this well. It made me defensive, and that was never good.
We met Carlisle on the porch, and I immediately started talking.
"You signed the stupid thing yourself?" I asked him, and he sighed.
"I'll be truthful," He replied, steering me inside gently, "I wasn't expecting him to look so closely."
"It's not a huge surprise, shorty." Emmett pointed out, following us inside, "He's pretty much the only doctor that does that around here."
"But if I died someplace else, wouldn't someone else do it?"
"Not if the paperwork was sent back here for the family to be notified." Jasper replied, and that made sense, but I shook my head. Looking back up at Carlisle beside me.
"I'm what matters most to him, though." I said, "You can't just tell someone like him that what matters most to him is gone forever, and think he'll believe you. Everything I did was for nothing now."
"We'll just have to give him proof." Emmett suggested, "No big deal, shorty."
"I can't do that." I argued, shaking my head.
"Pictures?" He asked.
"That won't work." I replied, "He won't stop until he can see me. He needs to see for himself that I'm dead. Without that, he won't believe a word you tell him."
"You know, none of this would be a problem if we just killed him." Emmett pointed out.
"No." Both Carlisle and I replied at the same time.
"If we start doing that," Carlisle went on, "Where do we draw the line?"
"That's a bunch of crap." Emmett grumbled, but he turned away.
"Besides." I muttered, "That would seem kinda bad, wouldn't it? Jack starts asking questions about me, and then he's dead? How would that look?"
Emmett winced, "Good point."
"So just.. No." I added, and how weird it was for me to be telling him to calm down wasn't lost on me, "And no. It's not because I care if he's dead. I actually hope a bus takes him out, and I really hope I'm there to see it, but I don't want you to be the one to do it."
"I get it, shorty." He sighed, "But that leaves the question. What are we supposed to do? If you say he won't believe anything other than seeing you with his own two eyes, what do you think we should do?"
I had no clue, nervously looking over at Carlisle. I knew he could see the nervous expression in my eyes. I knew he would think of something, but what could we do?
"Once Jack is on your trail," I told him, "He doesn't let go until he's bored or he gets what he wants."
"Remember, shorty." Emmett murmured, "You have nothing to worry about."
"Yeah, I do." I replied, "He might not be able to hurt me now, but he can hurt you guys." I whimpered, shaking my head, "This is what I didn't want."
"We'll start with the pictures." Carlisle eventually said, "And go from there."
"Do you have any?" I asked hesitantly, "I mean, did you take any?" Before I even finished asking that, I knew the answer.
"There wasn't exactly time to take any pictures." Alice pointed out anyway from behind me.
"Well.." I mumbled, looking back at her, "Taking them now won't work, because I don't have any bruises."
"That's where I come in." She replied, "If anyone can make this as realistic as possible, it's me." She was annoyingly confident.
"I'm saying it won't work." I shook my head, "It'll just make him even more mad."
"Isn't it worth a try?" Jasper finally asked.
"It'll just waste time." I answered, "We could be thinking of different ways to get him to go away. I know him way better than anyone." They weren't hearing me. This had nothing to do with whatever gift I might still have, but more of knowing this man more than anyone ever possibly could.
As it stood, Jack was convinced Carlisle was lying to him for whatever reason, and once Jack reached this point of certainty, he wouldn't just go away. He wouldn't just look at a picture and take that as proof.
"If this doesn't work," Emmett said, "Then we'll just have to let him see you." I knew what he was getting at. He wanted me to play the part, but that would just be so stupid.
"I can't do that." I squeaked incredulously, looking over at him, "Even if I don't breathe-"
"We'll be there." He replied, "If I have to, I can stop you."
"That's not the point."
"And if you do kill him, good riddance." He countered, "No skin off my nose."
I chose to ignore that part.
"But shouldn't I be somewhere else?" I asked, "You wouldn't keep someone dead in your house." He would have to find somewhere else to put me when these pictures didn't work. I was really hoping my arguing would somehow change their mind about this. We were wasting time! Time we couldn't really afford to waste if we were going to get him to go away.
"I'm already considering that." Carlisle assured me, "For now, we'll go with the pictures." Again, his tone held that slight difference, telling me without telling me that I shouldn't press anymore. I hated it, but I listened to it.
"I need to go get some things." Alice rounded for the door, "I'll make it fast." I assumed she meant for me.
"Better make it good." I said again as she left the house.
"I know what I'm doing." She replied, "Leave it to me."
I shook my head again, seriously doubting this plan. She was confident, but she would have to make me look really believable if she was going to hand Jack evidence like this and have him be okay with it.
I knew either way, though, Jack was going to want to see me. Whether he believed the pictures or not. It was impossible to expect anything different. It could buy time, though. If only to give me a chance to prepare myself for the inevitable.
I fell silent, already working my mind into small, panicked circles. I was scared, and as much as I trusted Carlisle, I couldn't figure out why he'd ever believe this would work. I knew he was distracted, but this was more than just being distracted. This was a huge mistake that he'd made, despite my continuous warnings, and that got to me.
As far as I was concerned, he'd let me down. I didn't want to think about it like that, but by choosing to handle all of this himself, he'd let me down.
When Alice returned, about thirty minutes later, she led me upstairs into her room. Apparently, I was just along for the ride now, in a plan that was doomed to fail before it was even considered. I hardly blinked as she yanked my shirt off, far too curious at what was inside the bags that she placed on the bed.
How was she planning to make me, as I was now, look not only human, but a very injured human?
"We don't have a lot of time, so I need to focus." She told me while I rummaged through one of the bags. There was a whole lot of fake blood in there, as well as a whole lot of dark powdery make-up. In many shades of brown and black.
"What's this for?" I frowned, pulling out a large bottle of baby powder.
"Your hair." She answered without looking up from her task of clearing off her bed, "It's too shiny." That made sense. She needed to dull it quite a bit. She sighed once the bed was cleared off, everything on the mattress replaced with a generic white sheet, "Sit. We'll do your skin first."
I did as she said, looking over as Rosalie walked in to watch. Alice started smearing make-up all over my face a second later. I flinched a little at first at the feeling of it, but quickly adjusted.
"Wait." I mumbled around her hands, "Shouldn't I be pale if I'm dead?" Why was she changing the color of my skin?
"You need to be a little less pale." She said, "Remember, you just died when these pictures were taken. You didn't die days ago."
"Good point." I muttered, closing my eyes. The smell was intense, but I wouldn't complain. She brushed on a bit of light powder after that, making sure to cover my entire upper body in the stuff.
Unlike human skin, my skin didn't hold the stuff, so it would be very touchy until the air could dry it a bit. That must have been what the powder was for. Even when it did dry, though, I knew it would just wipe off.
Once she was done with that, she moved on to touching up my hair. Fluffing the baby powder through it in just the right way to dull it without it looking obvious.
Rosalie actually offered to help with painting on the bruises, since that would take the longest. We had limited time, and she trusted Carlisle too, no matter how often she complained about whatever he told her.
These bruises had to be just perfect, but that wasn't a problem for Alice. I had to hand it to her. She had memorized each one from the brief glimpses she had gotten from me that day. Esme stood in the doorway, offering her support just by being here.
I had probably memorized it twice as well as she did. I directed the rest across my stomach when the color wasn't just right. Refusing to look at the whole scene.
Once that was done, she had me lay back, bringing out the jug of fake blood. It looked very realistic in color and consistency, but it smelled horrible. Even before she twisted off the cap.
Before she applied the blood, she had me close my eyes and lay still as she snapped a few pictures of me without it. As proof of me "after" the blood had been cleaned up.
She then had me put on an exact replica of the t-shirt I'd been wearing that day before she carefully applied the fake blood. Starting at my mouth, which I pursed my lips for as it trailed down the sides of my face and coated my hair. It was very uncomfortable, and she just went nuts with it. Coating the shirt through to the skin, which I had to admit, was very close to how I remembered it looking that day. This was the part she'd remember more clearly, though.
She then had me lay still again as she carefully applied the fake blood in a more precise way. Moving would have messed up the way it dried on my skin, so I had to stay perfectly still. That was my job.
"God, that's scary." Emmett commented back by the door, next to Esme, "You've really outdone yourself." I rolled my eyes a little. It was really bugging me.
"Thank you." Alice smiled back at him. She looked to me again, "Do you want to see yourself?"
"No." I immediately said, "What kind of question is that?" Why in the hell would I want to see myself? "I was there."
"I just thought I'd ask." She replied simply, "Now close your eyes and lay still." I did as she said, waiting. I listened to Carlisle walk in, but kept still as she took a few more pictures.
I didn't bother holding my breath.
I wasn't quite sure why this bothered me so badly. It was more than just the memory of the time when I actually looked like this that got to me. It was what it represented. The reason why we were doing this.
Anyone else but me would probably have just gone with it as easily as Alice seemed to be, but these memories were still fresh. In a way, I felt torn, and I really wasn't sure how I should feel.
I felt torn between being sad for myself, and having to say goodbye to this part of my life a lot sooner than I'd ever had to before. This was the last part of my human life that I had to give up. Convincing Jack that I was really gone, and getting him to move on was the last thing we had to do. I felt like the second he moved on, I would have to face it myself.
"Are you done yet?" I whimpered, looking over at her, "Can this be done?"
"What do you think?" Alice asked Carlisle, ignoring me for a moment, "Does this look accurate?"
"It's very close." He replied, slightly surprised.
"Can I go wash this crap off now?" I asked more forcefully, "Please? It's bugging me."
"Yeah," Alice answered, "Your part is done for now. You did good, Leandra." I immediately got up, pushing passed Emmett and leaving the room swiftly. I made it downstairs in a second, rounding into the bathroom and closing the door a little too hard in my haste. The door splintered.
"Oops." I muttered to myself, but went on with my task. I removed the shirt and hating the reminder, I ripped it to shreds. I didn't look at myself.
I was on edge the entire time I was in the shower, watching all the make up wash off of me. Just the thought of this not working bothered me deeply. I felt a tightness in my chest I knew was caused by my own tension. I knew this wouldn't work, but I wanted to believe Alice so badly. I wanted to trust them, but again, I felt let down.
I stood there, drowning myself under the spray of the shower, as I listened to someone approaching the hallway.
"Leandra?" It was Esme.
"It's not working." I grumbled quietly as she stepped into the bathroom.
"What isn't working?" She asked, closing the door behind herself.
"Drowning myself." I answered, stepping back with a sigh, "It's not like I expected it to, though."
"Honey, don't worry." She said, "I know it seems bad-"
"I'm scared." I cut her off with a whimper, "Everything's going wrong. Again. All I did.. It doesn't mean anything now. Ask Edward. He knows. He knows how bad it got before. Everything I did before, everything that Jack did before.. I can't watch that happen again."
"If it comes down to it, we can leave." She suggested.
"Yeah, because that worked so well last time." I rolled my eyes, reaching down and turning off the water. I stepped out, not bothered in the least at being bare. She handed me a towel, which I accepted, wrapping it around me.
"Last time," I went on, "We moved to New York because Jasper tried to kill Bella. It took Jack not even a month to find me. He can find anybody anywhere. Besides. I'm so sick of running away and hiding. This was what I didn't want. I didn't want this."
She sighed, hugging me.
"Honey," She spoke again, "No matter what happened last time, it's already changed."
"I might have changed," I replied, stepping back and looking up at her, "But he hasn't." I hesitated, before I spoke again, "I don't know what to do." Understanding crossed her expression as she gently took my hand.
"All you need to do is trust us." She told me, "I promise you, honey. You're in safe hands. We'll find a solution, one way or another." I understood what she was saying, looking down.
She knew my opinion on what she was hinting at, but if getting rid of Jack really was the only way, it was exactly what they would do. Hearing her talk about it like this really made me realize what lengths they were going to to make that truly a last resort.
"If you have to," I mumbled quietly, "I can't do it. Someone else has to."
"Is that what you're worried about?" She asked, "That it'll be your responsibility?"
"That's what Emmett said." I reasoned, "He said he won't do it, because it'll be my job to do it."
"That's not what I meant!" I vaguely heard Emmett call from upstairs.
"No, sweetheart." She assured me, "If that is the only way to end this, it will not be up to you. We'll take care of it."
"I can't." I repeated, and she hugged me again.
I wasn't stupid. I knew I could if I had to, but I wouldn't handle it well. Just thinking about being put into that position made me nervous. Jack was human. Past or not, he was still a human.
"Trust us." She repeated as well, "Remember. We protect our own, Leandra." That included me now too, despite Rosalie's disappointment.
Taking a breath, I started to calm down.
I definitely had to admit. If I had to be stuck as a kid for the rest of forever, the safety and protection she offered just by being here for me was a pretty good way to spend it.
I was escorted out of the house well before nightfall, where I'd stay until it was safe to come back. I would allow that, but I wouldn't go very far. I knew that Jack wouldn't get anywhere near being able to burn the house down, but the fact that he was coming back made me very edgy. It took my entire focus, more than hunting.
About an hour before nightfall, however, a phone call inside the house had my jaw drop. It was either really smart, or really stupid. I couldn't decide which yet.
"Chief Swan." Carlisle spoke tensely, "I have an interesting favor to ask of you."
A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait! We're still establishing a new routine over here. Little KNeu is adjusting well. He's a really laid back little guy. It's me that's having trouble.
Anyhoo! THANK YOU to my reviewer of last chapter! :) You're awesome!
I'm also sorry for the horrible cliffy. I'll be getting chapter Twelve out as soon as humanly possible. I promise, just so I can save you guys from wondering too much. Twelve also has a new appearance, if you guys are curious. ;)
Until Twelve, my friends! :D