Chapter Twelve
Right on time, just as daylight was fading, Jack returned.
I was hoping not to hear the rumble of his truck coming up the highway, but it was unmistakable. I probably would have been able to tell the difference anywhere, even without the scent coming closer as well.
I didn't want to be out here in the trees, waiting. Listening. Fully preparing my 'I told you' speech.
I should have scampered away like a scared rabbit at his approach, close enough to see the headlights of his truck illuminate the trees as he pulled to a stop, but I stayed. So distracted, that despite the fact that I would fight the second he tried to move me away, I let Emmett pick me up.
It tried to surprise me that I was still small enough, light enough to comfortably be held, but again. My focus was on the slamming of the truck door and the angry footsteps approaching the front door.
I waited, holding my breath as Carlisle took his time getting to the door. Not even glancing over as Esme came to my side. Knowing she could calm me down easier than Jasper could, she volunteered to wait with me out here along with the others.
"This isn't going to work." I whispered as Carlisle opened the door, "Be careful, Carlisle. Please."
"Well?" Jack demanded as soon as the door was open, "Are you going to give her up, or what?"
"I acquired the proof you requested." Carlisle replied easily, "But no. I will not be giving her up, as you put it. Her remains are in the hands of the state as of this morning-"
"That's bullshit." Jack immediately replied, "I'm here now, so you can't do shit with it. Unless I've given up my rights, which I sure as shit have not. I decide what you do with it. Not you."
"Your rights have been temporarily suspended pending investigation regarding the suspicious nature of her death." Carlisle informed him, "The proof I have for you is only a courtesy to you. By law, I didn't have to show you anything."
"Suspicious?" Jack snapped, his tone sharp, "Ask anyone who knew her. She was hit by a fucking car! Do you really think I did that shit to her?"
I looked down. Even killing me couldn't make him tell the truth. Anyone who didn't know him would have believed him. His voice held the right about of incredulous disbelief, and oddly, the right amount of emotional pain.
"We'll discuss that." Carlisle replied easily, "I'm not going to argue, as I'm legally bound not to discuss it with you. Come inside." This time, Jack didn't argue. Shoving his way passed Carlisle through the doorway.
That was stupid.
He was so determined to continue playing innocent that he went inside instead of turning around and leaving like he should have.
I had to admit, though. This was a new situation for me. I'd never actually died to Jack before. I'd never been dead to him, so I'd never gotten to know what his reaction would be. Given his reaction, he wasn't taking it well.
I dropped back to my feet.
Jack's heart beat too fast, and I knew that had to do with more than just fear. If only he knew I was right here. I had to wonder, though, what it was like to finally wipe that stupid smirk off his face. If only I was there to see it.
In the briefest glimpse, I could feel what Emmett had been talking about. Some day it would be my job to take him out. For the first time, I was stronger than him. In every version of these visions stuck swirling through my head, I'd always been weaker than him.
That was such a strange realization to have, because it came with an emotion I'd never really felt before.
"Leandra." Jasper spoke quietly, nowhere near the warning of before, and I appreciated that. Glancing back at him.
"Don't worry." I mumbled. Using every emotion I had in me, I buried and beat back that unidentifiable emotion brought on by my sudden realization. The fact that I was okay enough to reply to Jasper was enough to ease him. Beside me, Esme placed her arm around my shoulders, and as much as I knew she wanted to get me away, she also knew I wouldn't handle that well.
I focused again on the house, and the fact that Carlisle had followed Jack into the living room. Headed straight for the single envelope on the table.
"There." Carlisle must have been telling him to pick it up, and my nervousness exploded as I heard him do so. Roughly grabbing the envelope in his hand. Nearly ripping it in his angry haste to get to the photos inside.
I knew better than to hope that he would buy this, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to believe in them so badly.
Though there was a sharp intake of breath, he was silent for a moment. There weren't many pictures there, but enough to shut him up. I listened to him flip through the stack of pictures, quickly at first before taking another, slower trip through them.
His heart pounded harder, but I wasn't sure if that just meant he was about to accept it, or if he was only getting more pissed. If I was there, I could tell easily, but from way out here, it was impossible.
He took a breath, and I held mine. The slapping sound of the pictures hitting the coffee table again made me flinch a little, waiting on edge for him to say something.
"How fucking stupid do you really think I am?" He finally asked and I lowered my head, slapping my palm against my forehead, "Stop fucking stalling!"
"I can't do it." I turned away, away from the house and away from Esme, "I knew this wouldn't work. I told you this wouldn't work."
"Just calm down." Emmett told me as Jasper watched me, "Shorty-"
"That's it." I replied simply, "He's on you until the day he dies."
Alice sighed, "We're not-"
"You're not listening!"
"Leandra." Jasper gave me a firm correction, and instead of continuing on that way, I shouted in frustration.
"We'll help you." Alice offered, trying to calm me down.
"With what?" I barked, "I'm not doing it."
"You'll be holding your breath anyway."
"How stupid do you think I am?" I couldn't help repeating Jack's question, "Are you crazy? I can't. I want him to die, but I don't want to be the one to do it."
"I know right now you feel cornered," Jasper told me firmly, "But-"
"Don't tell me that." I snapped at him this time, "I'm not cornered. I'm mad."
"Leandra," Alice murmured, "It'll be easy-"
"No." I argued, and I was about to continue until I heard the sound of another vehicle's approach from the highway. My attention was taken by the sound.
In my slight panic, I'd forgotten about this part. The favor Carlisle had called in from Charlie, and Charlie had obviously come through.
In a way, sending a cop here was for Jack's own protection, but..
"This won't work either." I insisted, "I bet you anything."
And I was right.
The best that the cop could do was take Jack in for questioning, because as Jack had pointed out, there was just not enough evidence condemning him, and given his well known influence in town and Oscar-worthy innocent act, it didn't take him long at all to beat back their suspicion.
He stuck with the 'hit by a car' story, adding just the right amount of desperation in his voice, the right amount of insistence that they needed to find the right person.
The questioning took about an hour before the cop was clearly convinced of Jack's innocence and let him go, and the only reason it took that long was because there were other cops off searching the trailer in Sappho for evidence.
It immediately became clear what Jack had spent the day doing. Every shred of evidence had been wiped away or covered up, just in case something like this happened.
This plan totally failed, and it pissed Jack off. Just like I said it would. Not only did it fail hard, but it backfired. The cops were now on Jack's side. Agreeing with Jack that he now had a right to decide what to do with my body, so Carlisle now had no choice but to somehow turn me over, within twenty-four hours.
Despite the other's insistence, I listened the whole time. Holding my breath, ignoring the nagging burn in my throat and shaking the whole time, because this was more important to me than hunting.
Meeting Carlisle outside the station in the parking lot, Jack was a little smug but mostly pissed.
"I fucking told you." Jack spoke first, quietly, "You had nothing on me, so this was really stupid of you. If she's really dead, let me see her. After that, you can do whatever the fuck you want with her. Bury her, burn her, toss her in the fucking river for all I care, but I'm gonna see for myself and no goddamn pictures are gonna do it for me. I want physical proof in front of me before this time tomorrow, or there will be hell to pay."
Not even waiting for a reply, Jack was walking away.
"Well, killing him is out now." Emmett grumbled, not at all pleased.
"What did I tell you?" I growled, turning around, "Nobody believed me, and now look where it's got us." I ducked further into the trees behind the station, literally shoving a smaller tree out of my way. I didn't even stop to care about the noise it must have made. I'd just been backed into a corner, left with little choice but to endure this little meeting, pretending to be dead just so Jack could believe that I was really gone.
"Stop that." Alice corrected me firmly but quietly, but I just glared.
"I'm not doing it." I added, "So you should go find yourself some other dead kid, 'cause I told you. I told you, you didn't listen, so it's not my fault."
"Breathe, shorty." Emmett told me, "Calm down." I hesitated, before I did as he suggested. Taking a breath, I looked over at him.
"I can't!" I snapped. I glanced back toward the road at the sound of Jack's loud cuss as he drove away.
"Remember how it was for the pictures?" Alice asked, "That's all you'll have to do. Just lay still."
"No," I corrected, "All I have to do is lay there, and not kill him. I told you I don't want to be the one to kill him. And I told you I'm not doing it. I'm not. It's not fair to ask me to do it, either, and you know it."
Alice sighed as if I was being unreasonable, "Leandra-"
"All of you should have just let me die." I snapped straight at her now, "I did everything I had to do to keep all this from happening. If I was really dead, then that would've been it." I went on, "I wouldn't be here to feel like I do. I wouldn't feel anything anymore. I didn't ask anyone to save me."
"Come on, shorty." Emmett tried, but I glared over at him as I took another larger step backwards. Carlisle's arrival just made me even more mad, as if Jack's anger fed my own. It shouldn't have even been like this.
"Leandra, I'm sorry." Carlisle started, "I never expected-"
"You screwed me over!" I shouted, unable to help it, and that seemed to be enough to move Jasper forward. I countered each of his steps forward with two steps of my own backward.
"Jasper." Carlisle tried to correct him, but he was focused on me. I was focused on him as well, even ignoring Alice's sad shake of her head at the ground right behind him.
"Leandra, calm down." Jasper told me, but I just growled in anger.
"No." I replied sharply, "It's not fair. I didn't ask for this."
"None of us did." He countered, "But we get by. You're having a hard time-"
"Don't do that." I was just getting more and more angry, and I knew I needed to get away. The instinct to run was quickly coming forward again, but I knew it would be near impossible to get away. That just made me feel more cornered.
He sighed, "Leandra-"
I gave up, and attempted to turn. He darted forward and caught my arm, but I rounded on him. He must not have expected it, because I was faster. He attempted to move his hand back, but I bit him right on the side of his hand. I heard and felt the tearing between my teeth, and I let go just in time for him to finish pulling his hand back with a sharp grunt of pain.
"Don't touch me!" I snarled at him as he clutched his hand to himself with an increasingly angry look in his eyes. Emmett took a single step, and once again, I was off running. I ignored Carlisle's attempt to call me back.
They obviously thought that choosing not to chase me was a good idea this time, as they didn't follow me, but I didn't stop. I was too upset. I just ran. It was pitch dark out here now, night having just fallen, which only pushed me on.
To my mixed up mind, everything was already so messed up. I couldn't make sense of anything anymore when my anger took over. It was just easier to listen to instinct at this point than to try to figure anything out. I was more scared than I cared to admit. I was confused, and I just needed to find which way was up. So far, I hadn't had a chance to do that.
I just couldn't understand it. Why was I having such a hard time with everything this time? Despite wondering, I already knew the answer to that. Most of it had a lot to do with the one person I was actually running from. The memories I constantly revisited of my human life were what was messing me up so much now.
This time, there was no confusion at all about where I was going. I ran faster than I was sure I should have been capable of, in search of the one bit of comfort I could never turn down. About halfway there, though, I knew they'd caught on, as I could just barely hear them following me, but without Edward, they didn't have a prayer of catching me.
I needed to calm down. The only place I was positive I could do that was with one person.
And I found him easier this time. Mikah wasn't even home yet. When I got there, he was just locking the door of the store he worked at. It was dark here, which helped me, but I wasn't sure how to go about this. So I chose to just show up at his side, which only startled him. His small shout of surprise startled me, and I looked up at him.
"Where did you come from?" He asked me. Holding my breath, I wasn't sure about replying. I needed to get a feel for myself before that could happen, as I wasn't sure that the instinct to keep from hurting him had stuck around.
It was dark enough on this street that I was pretty positive that he still couldn't get a very clear look at me. It was just enough to recognize me, though, as he smiled.
"Oh," His tone held understanding now, "Hey. It's you." He looked around himself as he placed the heavy ring of keys into his pocket, "Seriously. Where'd you come from? What are you doing here this time of night?"
I looked away with a light shrug. Hesitantly, I took a small breath. Carefully testing myself a little bit at a time.
He looked around himself again, looking for the answer on the almost empty street, but I sensed that he was only confused. He wasn't afraid of me.
As if just looking around, he took a few steps up the street, peering around the side of the building. I followed him.
"Oh," He laughed, looking down at me as I fell into step beside him, "You want to walk with me?" Silently, I nodded, so he laughed again, "Okay, but you have to remind me your name. It's the least you could-"
"Leandra." I mumbled quietly, and he smiled again, "That's my name."
"Leandra." He repeated as he nodded slowly, "I remember now. It's not a name you hear every day." With that, he started at a slow walk in the direction he probably though I'd come from. I followed easily, almost like we were tethered.
"So, really." He murmured, "Why are you out here, Leandra? It's a little late to be taking a stroll to the store for anything."
"I ran away for a minute." I answered, "And I found you." It wasn't a lie, so I felt okay with telling him. He hesitated in his reply.
"That's not very safe." He pointed out.
"I'll be okay." I assured him, hesitantly taking another breath. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it still hurt. As much as it hurt, though, I wasn't afraid of hurting him anymore. Every small, hesitant breath I took, my confidence in myself grew just a bit more.
"Why would you run away?" He asked gently. Not at all pressing.
I glanced back behind me as I clearly heard the others catch up to us. They stayed out of sight, which I deeply appreciated. They weren't here to chase me away yet. No doubt curious themselves, they wanted to witness our interaction. They were close, though.
"What?" He asked, looking back behind us as well.
"Nothing." I replied carefully, continuing on. He followed. I almost couldn't believe the amount of comfort I was given by just being next to him.
"So why would you run away?"
"I got mad." I answered vaguely.
"At your brother?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said, "And all of them." He looked over curiously, "I have three brothers. Two sisters. Well.. I guess you could call them brothers and sisters. It's weird."
"I see." He nodded a little, keeping my pace easily, "Well, whatever they are to you, I'm sure they're all worried."
"No." I muttered almost bitterly, "They know right how to find me. Which sucks, because it's their fault."
"Care to explain?"
"I worked so hard on something," I couldn't help venting, "I did everything I could, and it's not fair for them to ask me for more."
He was quiet for a few seconds as he clearly thought out a reply.
In his silence, I listened to Emmett argue with Alice about rushing over and stealing me. Emmett was all for it, but Alice insisted for him to wait. Carlisle agreed with Alice, weirdly enough, but Jasper was even more against letting this continue than Emmett was. Jasper had the least amount of faith in me than anyone. I briefly wondered how much trouble I was in for biting him.
"It's true," Mikah said, taking me from my thoughts again, "I don't know anything about their side of the story, but I'm sure they wouldn't be asking you for anything they didn't believe you could do."
"But I can't." I argued, and he looked over.
"Can't?" He asked, "Or won't? It sounds to me like all this is is a lack of communication."
"It's useless." I sighed, "They don't listen even when I do tell them something. All they do is boss me around."
"Every family is going to have their fights, Leandra." He replied, "For example, my younger siblings fight worse than cats and dogs. They're always at each other's throats, beating on each other, but you know what?"
Before I could even reply, Rosalie and Esme both joined the group behind us, and the others immediately began filling them in on what happened. I knew I had no hope of getting away after this, especially as they started to spread out. Surrounding us, but staying out of sight. They were taking precautions, and that made me feel bitter.
They didn't even have a right to be here. I didn't want them to follow me.
"What?" I asked Mikah in reply, not at all enthusiastic.
"I wouldn't believe it if I haven't seen it myself," He answered, "But all that fighting makes them closer. Every little argument between them means nothing in the long run. At the end of the day, they're still family."
"They don't get me." I shook my head a little.
"So help them." He replied simply, "Siblings are weird, but it doesn't have to be complicated. You're the youngest?"
"Yeah." In every way.
"I'm starting to see the problem here." He said, "I know it feels like they're always picking on you-"
"All the time." I confirmed.
"Constantly, but it's only because they care about you." He went on, "Trust me on this one. You say they're overestimating you."
"I guess."
"Stop," He murmured, "And really think about it. Couldn't it be possible that you're underestimating yourself?"
"No." I answered immediately, "I know that I can't do it. They think I can. I think I know me better than they do."
"So talk to them about it." He urged.
"I tried."
"Calmly?" He asked, and I hesitated, "Give them a chance. I know it's hard, but hear them out. You never know. They might just return the favor."
I sighed, "No they won't. They'll just boss me around again."
"Give them a chance." He repeated, "And we gotta talk about this running away thing. Leandra, it's dangerous for someone like you to be wandering around by yourself. How old are you?"
"Nine." I replied quietly, already thinking about what he'd just told me.
"Nine?" He asked, surprised.
"Nine." I repeated, only half annoyed.
"Um.." He hesitated, "No offense, honey, but you need to eat something." I couldn't help smiling at the way he said that.
"I know." I mumbled as my smile faded, "I'm small."
"Understatement." He countered, looking me over, but he sighed quietly, "Okay, well, that's beside the point anyway. Where do you live?"
"Why?"
"So I can get you safely back there." He replied as if that were obvious.
"Thanks," I said, "But I'm not going back yet."
He chuckled, shaking his head a little, "Kid.."
"What?"
"I know your brothers must be really worried about you by now."
"They know I'm okay." I argued, "I can take care of myself."
"That may be," He replied, "But for the sake of my sanity, please let me take you back home." I stopped and looked up at him. He smiled apologetically, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you wander off on your own."
I'd been so eager to see him, I hadn't thought about an escape plan. Of course he wasn't going to let me walk away from him at this time of night. Not alone.
Mistaking my silence for irritation, he sighed.
"It all goes back to what I was saying before." He told me gently, "Families are weird. There will be fights. Especially as you get older, but you learn to pick your battles. None of us choose where we end up, but when it really comes down to it, no one has your back like your family."
Hesitantly, I looked away in thought. I really couldn't believe my luck, and the amount of relief I felt was nearly overwhelming. He still managed to tell me things in a way I would understand. He still spoke my language.
"Maybe." I finally mumbled defeatedly, and he smiled. I couldn't help glancing back as I heard Alice's slow approach. It was reflex to react to it, even if I wasn't supposed to know she was coming, but at least I didn't have to think of a way out.
"So where are we headed?" Mikah insisted, and I looked up at him again. He met my eyes this time with a small, curious smile, "I've never seen an eye color as black as yours."
I hesitated, surprised that he'd be able to notice, before looking back down as that prompted Alice to get to me a little faster. Closing my eyes and resisting the urge to run again.
"There you are." Alice called, announcing her arrival. She came striding to my side, and I sighed. Biting back an annoyed growl as she hugged me. If she knew how I felt, she didn't let on.
"Hey." Mikah greeted her, "Leandra's sister, I'm assuming?"
"Yeah." She replied easily with a friendly, relieved smile, "I'm Alice."
"Mikah." He introduced himself, "And boy, am I glad you found her."
"Thank you for keeping her safe." She told him, the relief heavy in her tone, "I'm sorry if she bothered you. She just has a way of disappearing."
"Not a bother at all." He replied with a smile, "No doubt I'll be seeing you again, Leandra."
"Maybe." I mumbled, my tone disappointed. It was really hard not to run away. Especially knowing what I'd have to do when we got home. I was positive that I couldn't pull this off, but they were going to ask me to try.
We parted ways, Alice turning with me and walking back the other direction.
"Leandra," She started almost silently, "You know you can't just run here-"
I shook my way out from under her arm, glaring bitterly ahead as we continued on. She sighed, but accepted that.
"I'm not doing it." I grumbled, but this time, she didn't reply.
Just like before, I was herded home, except this time, I didn't stop to hunt anything. So far, Jasper hadn't said anything to me, which I wasn't so sure was a good thing. Also just like before, I ducked back into my room. Hiding away from the pressure I felt.
I knew full well that my solitude wouldn't last, as I heard them discussing the best way to approach me.
"She's still against it." Alice murmured to the others, obviously trying to be quiet, "I think we should be thinking up alternatives-"
"So make her." Rosalie suggested bitterly, "She's a kid, and a newborn. I thought Jasper was supposed to be good with newborns. Or is he losing his touch?"
"This isn't like any other situation I've faced yet, Rosalie." Jasper defended himself, "She's fighting it."
"And have you ever tried to make a newborn do anything they don't want to do?" Alice added, "I don't see you volunteering."
"If absolutely anyone had listened to me when all this first started, we wouldn't be in this mess." She sniffed, "She's just being stubborn. What was all that talk about being firm with her?"
"It's a precarious situation." Esme replied, "We have to be careful. She's already turning on us."
"Just go in there and tell her how it's going to be." Rosalie sighed, obviously annoyed, "You can't let her run the place."
"After you." Jasper challenged.
"Fine." I was surprised she actually fell for that challenge so easily. Her footsteps approaching proved her bravery, and I tensed in response.
The second she opened the door, though, she was hit with a table I'd thrown. As soon as the sound of the wood shattering faded away, I hissed through clenched teeth, meeting her glaring eyes with a glare of my own.
Yet, she still spoke, "Listen here, you little animal-"
"Leave me alone." I told her flat out, "I'm not doing it."
"You're doing it." She replied firmly, "After all Carlisle's done for you, I think-"
"Get out." I snapped louder this time, "I said I'm not doing it."
"And I said you are doing it."
The next closest thing for me to throw was a shoe, so I did. It created a decent hole in the wall beside her head.
"Throw things all you want to." She snapped in return, "It won't change-"
The other shoe hit her square in the face.
"Rose," Esme approached her side, "Stop. Let me talk to her." I appreciated Esme's effort, but my mind wouldn't change. Especially as Jasper followed Esme into the room.
I was still worried about possible punishments for what I did to him, so him walking in definitely didn't help. His hand seemed fine, but I wouldn't doubt he was still mad about it.
"Good." Rose replied to Esme, "Maybe you can explain to her the risk we're taking just by keeping her alive."
"That's enough." Carlisle defended me before Esme could, approaching Esme's side, "Let us handle this."
"Carlisle," Rose replied, "You need to control that beast before half the world finds out we have her. She's going to get us all killed."
I bit back my reply, looking down. I wasn't entirely sure she was wrong. Edward got home at that point, not stopping as he headed for my room. He must have heard the discussion awhile back, and was now attempting to come and help.
"Rose," He spoke before he even got there, "Go and calm down."
Thankfully, she listened to him. I watched her leave, just to make sure she was really going to stop trying to boss me around. When she didn't come back, I sighed quietly.
"Leandra," Carlisle was the first to speak, and I couldn't help glaring over at him. I wasn't done being mad at him, and my tension told him that, "I understand how you feel, but I never meant-"
"Get out." I growled at him.
"Hey." Jasper corrected me sharply, sharper than he had yet.
"Jasper," Carlisle looked at him, "Please. That's enough." He seemed hesitant, but he stepped back. I wasn't done with him, though.
"You get out too." I snapped at Jasper.
"I'm not going anywhere." He replied.
"How many times do I gotta bite you before you leave me alone?" I stood up.
"It doesn't work like that." He countered firmly, "I let it slide, giving you the benefit of the doubt."
"Leandra." Esme sighed quietly beside me, and I glanced over, but returned my glare to Jasper.
"What are you gonna do?" I asked, "Nothing, that's what."
"You forget I know what you're feeling." He replied, "Leandra, please don't do this."
"Stop it." Carlisle spoke up, "Both of you." As much as I wanted to keep going, I shut up. He continued at me, "I'm trying very hard to figure out what it is you expect us to do here."
"Nothing now." I snapped, "Before, I just wanted you to listen to me."
"We understand that you're against this."
"No, before that." I said, "Before this, or any of this. I was telling you the whole time to just go home and forget about me if you couldn't handle it, but you never did. I never asked to be saved."
"Yes you did." Edward corrected me, and I looked down immediately, hating the reminder.
"That's not what I meant." I mumbled shamefully.
He went on, "What happened to Heather wasn't your fault. None of that was your fault, no matter what you've convinced yourself of. You know what would have happened if you hadn't asked for help."
"I should have just-"
"Don't." He cut me off firmly, "Don't even say it. Please." I understood his tone, keeping my eyes down. I felt the same way. He sighed, "Leandra, what Carlisle did about Jack was for your benefit. You didn't want him killed, so what else could be done? Informing all human ties of your death is exactly the way he's done it for every single one of us. Not once has anyone ever questioned it to this degree."
"Then he should have had someone else sign it."
"You do understand that that's impossible, right?" He asked in return, "No doctor in their right mind is going to sign a death certificate without, at very least, seeing the body themselves, and he would never ask anyone to lie for him that way."
"I can't do it." I was quiet now, hoping he would understand.
"No matter what happens," He replied, "It'll be alright. You're having trouble thinking passed all of this. Think ahead, Leandra. Think about what all you'll be gaining. This is just one little problem standing in your way."
"It's more than that."
"You're overthinking it." He replied, "I understand that it's hard not to overthink, but trust us. You can do this." I started to argue, but he went on, "Jasper will be there, as well as Emmett. Your only job is to just be there."
"I can't." I repeated, shaking my head.
"Do you doubt yourself that much?" He asked, "One simple task is too hard for you?"
"It's not simple to me." I replied, "Being anywhere near him isn't easy for me. He's why I'm like this at all."
"I understand." Edward nodded, "I do. You're clinging with everything you have to that last bit of your humanity." I looked back down, a spark of shame aching in my stomach, "Leandra, that's not your fault. This was sudden, with no chance to prepare. I'm not asking you to let that go. None of us are. All we're asking is to just try to see this task from a different perspective."
That, I hadn't tried. I hadn't tried to think about it from a vampire's perspective. Just that little push from Edward changed how it looked in my mind, and for once I was speechless as I thought about it. Almost against my will.
Following my first thoughts, I looked over at Carlisle.
Carlisle was doing everything he could to fix this for me. To make it right. To respect what I wanted, and using every possible option. He had so many previous experiences to believe that this would work. He honestly didn't know that Jack would be this difficult to convince. I was blaming Carlisle for the way I couldn't let go.
And Edward was right. Once this was out of the way, I could start moving on.
This was why I hadn't adjusted yet. This was the last bit I had to get passed, and I was refusing to do so because I was scared, but if I could just do this one thing, Jack would have his proof, and he would probably move on. Go back to whatever life he had before, and leave me alone. If I could just get him to leave me alone, well.. That was all I'd ever wanted. A Jack-free life.
I looked back down, hating how torn I was. My silence was making them nervous, but they didn't press. Aside from Esme gently smoothing my hair down my back, nobody pressured me.
All I had to do was lie still for ten minutes, and ignore the fact that he was there. That was it. I'd done that before. I used to do that every night, ignoring the fact that he was there with me. Unfeeling, retreating into my mind. I only had to do that one last time.
Thinking about it like that made me tense, but I knew it was doable. I could do that. Edward was promising me that Jack-free life, and though I was still scared, I knew I really had no choice.
"But what if I screw up?" I asked, "I just know I'm going to make everything worse. I'm scared I won't be able to help it, and I don't want that. You saw what happened to that first guy. What happens when that's Jack?"
I knew my tone now was much different than all the ones I'd ever used toward them. It was smaller, more insecure, but that was just because I now had no more excuses.
"I'll be right there, shorty." Emmett assured me, "Even if anything does happen, it won't be your fault."
"It won't?" I asked hesitantly.
"No." Carlisle replied, "Leandra, we know how difficult this task is, and you're absolutely right. It isn't fair to ask you to do this, especially after you've already given so much, but it's the only option we have left." Having him confirm it like that made me feel a little better about it, but I still knew it would be hard. I was beginning to understand, though.
"Okay." I finally mumbled, "Okay, I'll do it."
"You're sure?" Carlisle asked, and I looked over.
"Yeah." I replied, "I'm sure. Just tell me what to do."
It turned out to be a little more difficult than I thought before. At least preparation wise. Early the next morning, I was taken to the least used of the two morgues in the hospital. Deep in the basement of the building. It was smaller than the other one, with only six 'trays'. Each 'tray' had that classic metal door, and just thinking about getting in one of those made me feel nervous. Thankfully, there wasn't much of a smell here. Mostly bleach, or rubbing alcohol.
This was where I'd supposedly been this whole time, waiting for things to be resolved. That disturbed me.
That wasn't the worst of it, though. Apparently, if someone is dead, they don't get clothes. That was a bit embarrassing with Emmett right in the room with Carlisle, Alice and I, but he was only there as a look out, and he had his back turned. It bothered me, though, because I knew soon, Jack would be seeing me. Bare as the day I was born, but that would wait.
The hardest part was laying on that tray, letting Alice work on an elaborate autopsy scar down my chest and stomach, over the customary bruising. She couldn't do it at home because once again, my skin made it difficult, and I knew if I moved at all it would all be undone, so I had to lay more still than I did before.
I was just glad to not have that fake blood all over me. I held my breath, looking over at her as she finally stood upright.
"There." She said, looking over at Carlisle, "Any finishing touches?"
"That looks accurate." He replied with a nod, "Just don't move, Leandra." I looked at him, not daring to even nod. We needed everything to stay exactly where it was. He nodded a little, "I'm going to close you in now, and I'll make the call. Just hold your breath. It'll be alright."
I hated this, but I had no choice.
I wasn't sure how we would explain away Emmett's presence, but he didn't seem like he wanted to leave at any point. Even after Carlisle and Alice left the room. It made me feel better just having him there.
I closed my eyes once I was encased in darkness, holding my breath and lying still. It was the only way I knew of to keep my sanity. This was too weird. Laying in this cold, metal box bothered me deeply, even without breathing. I could feel how closed in I was and it made me very nervous. It set my teeth on edge, and I could barely stand it, but I stayed as still as I could. This was our last chance, and I really didn't want to blow it.
I was lying there for exactly fourteen minutes and thirty-two seconds before I heard any activity nearing the hallway outside the room.
I could hear his heartbeat from up the hall.
I listened to them coming closer, their footsteps echoing in the deserted hallway. All the make up on my skin made my skin twitch, and I absolutely hated being naked this way, especially knowing Jack would be getting a good look.
The door opened, and I locked my muscles into place. A bit torn between knowing I needed to stay still and wanting to end that irritating heartbeat.
"What's he doing here?" It was Jack, alright, and he'd obviously noticed Emmett.
"For my protection." Carlisle replied simply, and I had to admit. That was a good explanation. Even though Emmett was actually there for Jack's protection, much to Emmett's unhappiness.
"Smart." Jack noted, but moved on, "Okay, so. Where the fuck is she?" With a hesitant sigh, Carlisle moved forward. I listened to each of his footsteps coming closer, tensing myself in place.
The small door opened at my head, and I clenched my teeth slightly. The sound loud to me and it grated on my already fragile nerves. I didn't have to breathe in to know the scent that filled the small box was right there. I could feel it.
Slowly, the tray I laid on was pulled out, and I knew to let myself move with the movement. I clearly heard Jack's sharp intake of breath, and it bounced around in my mind. It grated on me, and made it ten times harder not to pounce at him. His heartbeat was loud, irritatingly loud, and it took all my willpower not to end it.
"Here is your proof." Carlisle spoke softly. I laid stone still as I felt Jack's light, warm touch on the back of my hand. Though the touch traveled up my arm into my mind and tried to trigger a fatal reaction.
"Get out." Jack told him, "And take that gorilla with you." My nervousness increased. He wouldn't leave me in here alone with him, would he?
"I'm not leaving." Emmett scoffed, "You wanted proof. There's your proof. You don't need us to leave for you to see that."
I had a feeling the only reason I was still laying here was thanks to Jasper. He was around, I could tell, but not close enough.
"I think I deserve a minute or two alone with my fucking daughter." Jack growled, "Get the fuck out."
"You don't deserve the oxygen it takes to keep you alive." Emmett countered, "I'm staying. Get over it."
"She's already fucking dead. What more do you think I'm going to do to her?"
"I made her a promise." Emmett replied, his tone scathing, "I promised her I would protect her. I couldn't do that while she was alive, but I sure as hell can do it now. It's the least she deserves after you murdered her."
"I'll step out." Carlisle spoke before Jack could reply, "But Emmett will stay."
"Fine." Jack grumbled, "Fuck it. If he gets off on this stuff, he can stay." I clearly heard Emmett's low growl under his breath, but he stayed put. He stayed put across the room, which was a problem in itself.
Carlisle must have hesitated, because Jack snapped this time, "Out!"
I hated the sound of Carlisle's hesitant footsteps toward the door. The door closed behind him, the sound reverberating around me. It was an amazing feat to just stay still while Jack's pounding heartbeat drove me closer to insanity by the second.
He stood there in silence for about a minute, and I found that counting each second that ticked by helped. It helped me focus on something besides killing him. God, where was Jasper?
"What did you do?" He asked in such a quiet voice, but it sounded loud as it completely shattered the silence. He placed his hand over my neck, and in a sharp stab of fear, I remembered the make up. That was going to come off! If his skin rubbed at all on mine, it was going to come right off onto his hand.
Bad idea! Bad idea!
"Don't touch her." Emmett snapped, but I stayed nervous.
He pulled his hand away, and I felt him move. Further along the tray before replacing his hand on my stomach. He could have easily been feeling for some kind of breathing, but that was where I was caught. His hand slid a little bit in the heavy amount of make-up, and he quickly pulled his hand away.
"What the fuck?" He muttered to himself, obviously puzzled, but that triggered me. I breathed in.
Fuck it, I thought. He's better off dead, anyway.
The second I started to move, gaining Jack's attention in slow human reflex, Emmett started forward, but I was already pouncing. I managed a very nice bite on his shoulder, ignoring his sharp shout of surprise as he fell back. I landed on him, but was yanked violently away from him the second blood started to fill my mouth.
I let out the loudest, angriest snarl I'd ever let out and turned on Emmett just as the door opened and Carlisle strode in.
"Get out of here." Carlisle told Jack firmly over the sound of my snarl and struggling to keep me from killing him. Jack turned over and hauled ass out the door.
I managed several good bites to Emmett's upper arms and shoulder before he managed to pin me to the floor. With my fight, it was hard even for Emmett to keep me down. Carlisle jogged over to try to help, given Emmett's loud growls of pain, but I slipped away. Carlisle caught me, pinning me next but I wasn't okay with that. This triggered another, more fearful part of me.
By the sound of his own loud growls of pain from up the hall, I knew Jack hadn't made it very far.
"I am not sucking on him." Emmett announced, his tone heavy with pain. I was still in the middle of an intensely upset tantrum, so trading off again took time. The second Carlisle moved to get off of me, I flung myself forward. Nearly making it to the door before Emmett grabbed onto me. My hand clung onto the door frame, but with Emmett's yank, my fingers gouged through the wood and metal in an almost comical way.
"Get her home." Carlisle told him, turning.
"Do you really trust me to get this runt through town on my own?" Emmett asked, stopping him in his tracks, "It might be better just to let her finish him off- Ouch!" I'd turned and managed a bite while he was talking and I nearly got away, but he managed to catch me again with his other hand, "If I have to pin her, people are gonna freak out." Right. Because I was naked.
Carlisle was torn. I could see it, but it didn't help my tantrum any.
"Just.. Go help him." Emmett said, "I've got her for now." Without waiting, Carlisle turned. Leaving the room and closing the door behind him, despite the fact that it wouldn't shut all the way, but that wasn't a problem. I could smell it. I still had a direct smell of Jack's blood that no longer flowed from the wound I'd given him. It'd healed shut.
I knew that before Carlisle even said anything.
"What did that bitch fucking do to me?" Jack demanded loudly, and I clenched my teeth.
"It's too late." Carlisle spoke mainly to himself, and as pissed as I still was, that was a sobering statement, and I started to calm down. I still trembled, but I didn't resist as hard. It was making it through the fog of anger what I'd just done.
"Well, we need to move him then." Emmett replied, "Or someone's gonna come looking." He sighed hard in heavy disappointment, "Shorty."
He released me with one hand to remove his jacket before switching off, and draped it around me.
I stopped breathing as a second later, Carlisle dragged Jack into the room and pushed the door closed.
"Killing him wouldn't work, would it?" Emmett asked, looking down at him on the floor.
"No." Carlisle sighed, "The only way would be to drain him completely of blood, but the only one willing to do that would be Leandra, and I'm not allowing that. No matter the consequences."
"You know what this means." Emmett pointed out, "We've gotta babysit him." I looked over sharply, "Everyone is going to flip out."
"I know." Carlisle sighed, shaking his head. Jack was obviously passed the point of being able to speak, or even pay attention to what we were talking about.
I looked over at the sound of Alice's arrival.
"I'll go stall her." Emmett suggested, "Come on, shorty." With one more glance down at Jack, I left with him. We made it to the end of the hallway, finding Alice and keeping her from going any closer.
"What is going on?" She asked, obviously deeply concerned.
"We're not keeping him." I told Emmett, shoving open the door. The burst of fresh air outside helped immensely.
"I'll talk to Carlisle about.. Err.. Humanely euthanizing him after he's done, but no promises." Emmett replied, "You know how he is."
"She bit him." Alice sighed, understanding.
"I didn't get there to stop her in time." Emmett explained, "And this little monster wasn't helping either."
"I tried." I defended myself, "But he figured out that the bruises were fake."
"The point is," Emmett countered, "He's our responsibility now, shorty. We can't just.. Turn someone and run off. That's not how it works."
I glared down at the ground.
"Him or me." I growled, "You can't make me stay around him."
"This poses a problem." He muttered, looking to Alice, "It's not like we can just send her to Tanya."
"I agree." Alice murmured, "They wouldn't take it very well."
"Can Jasper even handle two newborns at once?" He frowned.
"Do you know anything about his past?" She asked in reply.
"Okay," He said, "What about two newborns who hate each other?"
"I'm not-"
"He can handle it." Alice cut me off, and I glared over at her, "For now, I'll take her home and fill the others in. You stay here with Carlisle."
"There's nothing to fill them in with." I snapped, "Him or me."
"You're not running off on your own." She replied, "Stop it."
"You can't make me stay." I frowned, "Not with him."
"You did it." Emmett pointed out.
"I told you it was a bad idea." I looked over at him now, "But you made me do it anyway."
"We'll discuss this later." Alice shut us both up, "Just.. Go inside, Emmett."
I grudgingly returned home with Alice, angrily heading for my room to find some clothes. I was still edgy, the taste of blood still in my mouth.
"Leandra?" Esme asked, concerned.
"It was a dumb idea!" I called from my room.
Alice sighed, "We've got a problem."
I listened to her explain without offering any explanation of my own. Crossing the hall into the bathroom to take a shower. I wanted to get all this crap off of me, and knowing none of it helped bugged me even more.
I turned off the water once I was clean, and the silence in the room was heavy. I crossed the hall, back into my room to get dressed. I knew they were still talking about me, but suddenly, my attention was taken outside.
I could hear whispering once again. Just under the sound of the others discussing what I'd done in the other room, outside, there were at least two small whispering voices.
"I hear you." I whispered under my breath, hoping they'd hear me this time. The voices stopped for a moment, and I worried I'd scared them off.
Until I heard a distinct voice in reply, "Come out."
I didn't even think twice. I silently opened the window and slipped outside. I paused outside, listening to them continue talking inside before I darted away from the house. Toward the sound of the whispers.
"Follow."
A/N: Yet another horrible spot to leave you, but I had to. Or this chapter would have gotten too long. (: I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed. I had a lot to fit in in a small spot.
THANK YOU! To my AMAZINGLY AWESOME reviewers! I had a feeling the lack of reviews for 11 had a lot to do with the bug that was going on with the site when I released it. I'm glad that's all it was. (:
Thirteen should be out within a few days. At least, I'll sure try. I can't leave you guys hanging longer than that. RL is about to pick up again, but I'll do my best.
Until Thirteen, my wonderful friends!