13-About keeping promises

As soon as they heard Groot's call, the three guardians rushed to the room where they found Peter convulsing on the ground and Groot hovering above him, clearly lost on what to do to help his friend.

Thinking fast, Gamora gently put him on recovery position as best as she could, then grabbed a small pillow on the bunk next to her and slid it under her friend's head to prevent him from hitting it too hard on the ground. Then, she asked Drax to clear Peter's surroundings of possible dangerously sharp objects before asking Groot what happened.

"He started acting weird when the creatures attacked us, holding his head and speaking to things that weren't there, then collapsed and started shaking like this less than a second after the whole solar system disappeared." Rocket translated. "What do we do?"

"You get us to Xandar as fast as you can," Gamora replied, "and we try to find a way to stop whatever this is."

Rocket ran back to the cockpit and Peter's convulsions stopped, his body going completely slack except for the wounded arm that kept being animated by small yet strong tremors.

"The purple lines on his arm are spreading fast," Drax observed, his voice laced with worry. From where he was standing, he had a good view of Peter's upper back. The dark lines had spread from under Quill's shoulder blade to his spinal column, and were slowly creeping toward his neck. "How do we stop this?"

"I… I don't know." Gamora whispered shakily. She was terrified, the previous conversation between Peter and her playing in a loop in her mind.

"I am Groot!"

She and Drax turned their heads to find Groot handing them a stun-gun and pointing it toward Quill's wounded arm.

"You want us to shoot at his arm with this?" she asked, not sure of what he was meaning.

"It makes sense," Drax said. "The creatures that invaded the Milano were very sensible to electricity."

"The mutants on the terran ship weren't."

"We should try nonetheless. Even if the electrical shock does not stop this weird toxin from invading Quill's body, it might at least slow the progression down."

Gamora sighed and nodded. "Alright. But not with a stun-gun. Bring me the defibrillator please, at least we can adjust the intensity of the electrical current and monitor his vitals."

She grabbed some pillows and a thick blanket and headed for the table where she disposed the items to arrange a makeshift bed, then asked Groot to help her move Peter back on the table. One look at her friend's face was enough to make her heart ache. He was so pale that if it weren't for the reassuring thump of his heart under the palm of her hand she could have sworn he was dead.

With the help of Drax, she placed the electrodes all around Quill's arm and the monitoring ones on his torso, before adjusting the machine settings to the lowest intensity. She glanced at her friends for support and sent the first shock. As expected, Peter's arm tensed as a result of the muscular contraction, but what was more surprising was to see the dark lines under his skin move as if they were trying to flee and retract a little.

"I am Groot." The sentient tree said, his gestures indicating he wanted her to increase the intensity.

"Too much and it might stop his heart, I don't want to risk it…" Gamora shared her hesitation.

"I think he would want you to try." Drax answered softly, once again much closer to the truth than he realized.

"I am Groot!" Groot insisted, pointing at the dark lines which were growing back slowly.

"Damn it." Gamora slightly upped the intensity and pushed the button once again.

This time, the dark lines retracted significantly and Peter groaned and groggily woke up after a short while.

"Hey," Gamora greeted him with a relieved smile.

"Hey." Quill answered weakly, looking at her through heavy eyelids.

"I am glad to see you awake, my friend. You scared us." Drax said, patting him on his good shoulder.

"Sorry."

"Do you remember what happened?" Gamora asked softly.

"The mutants, when they were climbing on the hull uh… I sort of felt them. In my head."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not like I was hearing voices, but there were… feelings, emotions, like I needed to be with them and it was overwhelming. And when the whole solar system vanished, it felt like a limb was severed and my head split in two, and then you know, black out."

"This toxin is having some strange effect on you." Drax commented.

"I don't think it's venom anymore, I think it's some kind of parasite."

"I am Groot." the Flora Colossus nodded in agreement.

Gamora looked at both of them. "What makes you think it is?"

"The pain kinda numbed everything before, but now I can feel it moving –and it's the worst by the way, makes me want to rip my arm out –and those… emotions, the hunger, the need, they're still here in the back of my mind."

"You think it can control you?"

"I know it can. If Groot hadn't stopped me, I would have opened the door to let them in."

Groot nodded sadly. It had been an intense and frightening moment, where he didn't recognize his friend and had to use all his strength to hold him back. And when Peter's eyes rolled back in his head and he started convulsing on the ground, Groot thought for a terrifying second that he had somewhat broken him.

"You keep referring to the creatures from the terran ship as mutants," Drax thought out loud. "I assumed they invaded that ship like the ones which attacked us, but it is not what happened, is it?"

Gamora sighed. "No, it's not. We found stasis pods where the passengers and crew were resting. Most of them had died being devoured by some small bugs that looked like the first creatures we've encountered, but some of them had turned into those… monsters."

"And you think they were infected with the same parasite as you."

"I wasn't sure at first but now..." Unable to finish his sentence, Peter let out strangled cry, face scrunched in a grimace of pain as the dark lines crept once again on his torso and neck. Through his pained haze, he managed to grab Gamora's hand and lock eyes with her. She flinched when she noticed his bloodshot left eye had a fully dilated pupil, making it look awfully inhuman. It was happening, and he knew it. "Keep your promise," he said in a raspy voice before letting go of her hand and closing his eyes, a lone tear escaping and running freely down his face. "Please."

Gamora stepped backwards and took a deep breath, pushing away all the emotions that were making her head spin. She looked at Drax and Groot and asked them to stay away from the table, then turned the defibrillator to maximum power and hit the button. Quill started thrashing as his body was drawn tight by the electricity running through it before falling flat against the makeshift bed, the only noise filling the room being the continuous beep of the defibrillator indicating a flat line.

Not wasting any second, Gamora started doing compressions on her friend's chest to restart his heart, chanting prayers in her head to every god she knew about even if she didn't believe in any of them. Everything blurred around her, the only thing she could focus on being the small monitor which insisted on displaying a flat green line every time she stopped to check if the CPR had worked. The prayers playing in her head morphed into a lone plea escaping her lips against her will, urging him not to die and stay with her, with them. He couldn't do that.

And then it was back here again, the rhythm of a heart beating on its own. It was weak, but it was there, and her knees gave up under her. She found herself sitting on the ground, trying to catch her breath and fighting to regain some composure until she felt Groot hugging her awkwardly and her body betrayed her, a sob escaping her lips and tears rolling freely on her cheeks. She couldn't recognize herself as she wasn't the kind of woman to cry over a man, hell, she wasn't the kind of woman to cry at all. Except that in the past year she had allowed herself to bond deeply with the team and Peter wasn't any man. He was her confidant, her best friend, maybe more and now she was sure that she wouldn't be able to keep her promise to him.

"His breathing is normal again," Drax told her from what seemed to be miles away, his voice distorted by the blood rushing in her ears. "And the parasite seems to have stopped progressing. You saved him."

But was it still him? Was there still something to save? She couldn't help but ask herself those harrowing questions, her mind assaulting her with self-doubt. "Yes, but for how long?" she asked instead for the sake of it, getting back on her feet as soon as she trusted her knees to support her again.

Drax gave her a reassuring smile. "Friend Rocket," he asked loud enough for his voice to carry upstairs, "how long until we reach Xandar?"

"It's all new to me but I'd say less than an hour, maybe even less than thirty minutes." the raccoon answered in the same tone of voice. "How's Quill doing?"

"He is unconscious but fighting bravely." Drax sat on the bolted chair on his side of the table and invited Gamora to do the same on the other side. "What was the promise Peter asked you to keep?" He had his suspicions about what it was but still asked, seeing how much it was eating her and wanting to help ease her burden.

"He asked me to kill him if there was no saving him. Before he'd become an invincible killing machine." She answered after a short while. "I guess I am not that good at keeping promises." she added with a bitter tone.

"You saved him; I do not see how it implies that you have broken your promise."

"I know. But now I also know that I won't be able to see the limit. I will keep trying to save him even if it means risking him to complete this mutation and endangering us in the process."

"There is no need to torture yourself with suppositions. What counts is that for now, the parasite has receded and does not seem to be moving anymore. Furthermore, now that Groot and I are aware of Quill's wishes, if it has to be done we will help you. You do not have to bear this alone."

"I am Groot." the Flora Colossus agreed softly.

"Thank you." Gamora whispered, raw emotion showing on her gracious features.

They fell silent, each of them lost in his own world of worry. Despite the dangerous nature of their choice of life, it was the first time that one of them was actually at risk of dying and that there was nothing they could do about it. Trying to find a semblance of comfort in this dire situation, Gamora gently took Peter's hand in hers, the faint heat emanating from his skin a token that he was still alive, and started humming one of his favorite songs.

"Why are you denying yourself the right to be happy?" Drax asked after a while, his deep voice tearing her out of her reverie.

"I… what?"

"With Quill. You care for him."

"I care for each and every one of you, Drax."

"So do I, my friend. However, there is no denying that your relationship with him is different and that our friend Quill here has deep feelings for you. I have seen the way he acts around you."

"That's because he's a flirt." She sighed when the Destroyer's face scrunched in confusion. "I mean that's the way he acts around women. If you think about it, there hasn't been a space-station where we haven't met one or more of his conquests. And most of them were holding a grudge."

They both smiled at the memory of their last encounter with one of Star-Lord's exes, a petite arcturan with a deadly taste for throwing cutlery. It had been fun to watch Quill engage in a party of hide and seek with her throughout the station, less when he almost got himself spaced after trying to hide in a trash chute.

"I have not seen him revel in lust debauchery since we have met."

Gamora cringed at the turn the conversation was taking, but replied despite everything. Better an awkward conversation about Peter's tumultuous sex life than to think about losing him for good. "That's because we're always around. He doesn't live alone in his ship anymore, it must have impeded his bachelor ways."

"We halted in several places where he could have rented a room if he had wanted to. He did not and I believe that is because he found someone who piqued his interest more than any other woman could." Drax said with a knowing smile, obviously proud of himself.

"I am Groot."

She had forgotten Groot was here and she found him behind her, nodding in agreement with Drax. "Oh no, no. Not you too."

"I am Groot."

Gamora took a deep breath, pondering whether or not she should share what was really bothering her. "What if we don't get along and end up hating each other? It would break our dynamic as a team. It could endanger us all."

"You have been living together with all of us for a year, what is some more intimacy between you two going to change?" Drax said, his smile still on. Gamora was putting up a good fight, but he wasn't going to let go.

"I don't think I'm ready for this." She replied softly after a short while.

"Being happy?"

"I've done terrible things."

"We all have."

"You don't understand. The things I did for Thanos, despite everything he did to me to harden me and make me a heartless killer, I knew they were bad. I knew I was hurting people, but I did it all the same."

"You were scared for your life and the ones of the other children Thanos had under his control."

"It's more complicated than that, I… I was doing a good job. There was a part of me that wanted to be the best, that wanted him to be proud of me. I am not a good person."

She stopped to look at her friend, afraid she might have said too much and had shattered an unlikely friendship she had worked so hard to build. Even if Drax had come a long way to understand what she and the other children of Thanos had been through, they rarely talked about the Mad Titan as it was still a sore subject for both of them.

"From what I understand of the few memories you shared with me," he said thoughtfully after an agonizingly long pause, "even if Thanos tortured you both physically and psychologically, he also took care of you in a fatherly like fashion. He made sure you were well fed and healthy, gave you a solid education and rewarded you when you achieved your goals. He called the other children your brothers and sisters. Everything he did was to ensure your loyalty to him, so I find it logical that you ended up trying to please him no matter what he was making you do. It does not make you a bad person; it makes you a victim as much as I am."

"It doesn't change the fact that there is a dark side of me that enjoyed killing people. What if Peter can't stand me knowing about it?" Despite Drax' kind and understanding words, she still had a hard time believing somebody could truly love her knowing how twisted she had been.

"You will have to ask him, but do you really think he is the kind of person who would judge you for your past actions?"

She looked at Peter and smiled. "No, he's not."

Drax was nothing if not persistent. "If your feelings for him are not of the romantic type, then I am glad you found a friendship as special as yours. But if they are, then it saddens me that you allow your fears to hinder your way to a different kind of happiness."

Unexpectedly, Gamora started to laugh, finally allowing herself to let go of some of the tension accumulated throughout this horrible day. "Drax the Destroyer, Mighty Warrior and Helpless Romantic. Who knew?"

Drax let out a small laugh that morphed into a sweet nostalgic smile. "I have not always been a Destroyer."

"You never talk about your family," Gamora replied with a soft voice. "You don't have to if it is still too hard for you, but when you're ready I'd love to know more about them."

"I already am, in my own way. The meals I cook for the team are Hovat's recipes and the stories I narrated to Groot when he was still a sapling were the ones I told my daughter Kamaria to lull her to sleep."

"I am Groot." the sentient tree corroborated gratefully.

"But I accept your kind offer, my friend. It will be an honor to share my memories of them with you."

"Thank you, Drax. For everything."

"Oh, wow!" Rocket's voice came from upstairs. "I guess my calculations were a wee bit off."

"Why, what's wrong?" Gamora asked worryingly.

Rocket didn't have time to answer as Rhomann Dey's face appeared on the communications screens. "Hello, Guardians. Would you mind explaining to me how your ship materialized in the Nova Corps' front yard without showing on any radar first?"