Chapter Fifteen
"This really sucks." I kicked the dead deer away from me.
Literally that night, I was feeling the effects of denying human blood after giving in. There was only so much animal blood I could consume at one time, but I felt like I hadn't hunted at all. It was grating on me in a very uncomfortable way.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." Esme had come hunting with me this time. We weren't far from home, just in case those nomads decided to double back, but she knew I was uncomfortable.
"Just one more human?" I couldn't help asking, "Please? Just one more, then that's it."
"No." Jasper answered before she could, but I ignored him.
"I'm afraid not." She replied, "It'll get easier. I promise."
"Please?" I whined, unable to keep it back. I was nervous, though. I knew how I felt now would only get worse the longer I went without. If I was this uncomfortable now, what would I be like in two days? Three?
She shook her head apologetically, so I pouted and turned away. She tried to smooth my hair, like she usually did to comfort me, but I jerked away. I didn't want comfort. I wanted human blood. It wasn't fair.
"Leandra." Jasper corrected me lightly, and I sobbed in anger. I even threw in a single foot-stomp. It was a lot different than how I'd reacted before, but it was still not how I should have been acting.
"I get it." Jasper told me, and I looked over at him, "Trust me. I understand how you're feeling, and I know it's hard, but Esme is right. It will get easier."
"What if it doesn't?" I whimpered.
"It will." He assured me, "Just do what you can now to bear it, because before it gets easier, it will get harder."
I knew that, but I didn't want to hear that. With another whine, I headed for home. I listened to them follow me, so I knew it was okay.
I'd felt this feeling getting stronger throughout the day. I knew at least some of it had to do with the nerves. I was admittedly nervous about Jack finishing being turned. I really didn't want to face that, but I knew it would happen either way.
I stopped once I entered the yard, not quite comfortable with going inside yet after the last time I'd been chased out. I looked up at the house with a sigh, remembering clearly just how much this place always meant to me.
I knew those days were long gone, and it made me a little sad to think about.
"Leandra," Jasper spoke up, and I looked over, "May I have a word?" I hesitated in answering, knowing he meant alone. My gaze shifted to Esme, just to see what she would say. She smiled, so she seemed fine with it.
"Of course." Esme replied for me, "Just let me know if you need anything." Once again, I didn't reply right away. She clearly trusted Jasper with me alone, but I was still nervous.
With a supportive smile at me, she walked away. I knew I wasn't completely alone, but it seemed good enough for Jasper. He stood across the yard from me, and didn't seem about to close that distance, so I allowed myself to ease a little bit.
We stood in silence for at least over a minute while I waited for him to speak.
"Leandra," He finally murmured, "I understand your distrust, but I would like to sort it out."
"How?" I asked hesitantly. I couldn't help being curious, as I didn't mind sorting it out as well. I knew where this was coming from. Carlisle had spoken to the others earlier that day, filling them in on all he'd learned from Shane while they were gone. I appreciated him explaining, because I was quite uncomfortable attempting it on my own.
"You tell me." Jasper replied, "What can I do to earn your trust?" He really wanted to know, not just asking for no reason. I understood that much.
"I dunno." I answered quietly, looking down.
"I'm assuming I lost that trust in the very beginning?" He prompted, "When I had Emmett physically restrain you?" I nodded a little, so he went on, "Leandra, I did that because it was the only way I knew to keep you safe. When you're that much faster than any of us, I wasn't willing to let you slip away again."
"I know." I mumbled.
"You have to understand that this is a learning experience for all of us. There are going to be wrong decisions made all the time." Hesitantly, I looked back up at him, "I will try to keep everything I learned today in mind from now on, but please. I need your help if I'm going to do this right."
For the first time since I'd woken up, I really listened to the sincerity in his voice.
"How?" I asked again, and I was interested. Could it really be that easy?
"Just tell me." He said, "Tell me when I'm doing something wrong. Call me out on it. Just like before."
"You won't get mad?" I couldn't help asking. I knew full well that that question had just let him know how insecure I felt when it came to him. I could see in his expression that I'd just answered a whole lot of questions with that one question of mine.
"Of course not." He seemed surprised, yet confused at the same time, "Is that what you're afraid of? That I'll be angry with you?" Also for the first time, I felt like he would really listen to what I was about to say.
"I don't like being pinned like that." I mumbled, "Not being able to move like that. It.. Reminds me too much of that night.." I trailed off, staring at the ground. I waited for him to speak, but he was waiting for me to go on. Sensing I had more to say, and he was right. I hesitated only a second longer before I decided to explain, "I was pinned like that.. When I messed up and begged for help."
"That was your breaking point." He understood.
"I guess so." I replied, "Just.. When I get pinned like that, I remember how I felt then.. With Ken."
"I see." He nodded a little. He was quiet for a moment, obviously thinking about what I'd just told him.
"I mean, I get why you made him do it, but I was already pretty scared." I added quietly.
"Okay." He nodded, "I'll do my best to keep that from happening again. I'll compromise with you, okay? Three chances." I could do that. I nodded a little.
"Okay."
"But I need to know you're giving an effort to learn." He replied, "Without that, there isn't much else I can do."
I took a breath, "Okay."
I didn't regret this little talk in the slightest. It had been clearly laid out in front of me that Jasper was going to try. That comforted me a bit. I was glad that we got this talk out of the way before Jack was done.
"You're nervous." He observed.
"I'm scared." I confirmed quietly, "About Jack."
"Yes." He sighed, nodding a little. He understood what I was getting at, "That's another subject I wanted to discuss a little more." I tensed, waiting for what he was going to say. Was he going to yell at me for what I did?
"You understand where you went wrong." He went on, nodding, "That's a good thing, Leandra. I don't mean to scold you about it. All I want is your agreement that as soon as he wakes up, you'll stay behind and let us sort him out."
I frowned a little. I was confused. Why wouldn't I let them sort it out? I had absolutely no immediate plans to go running to meet him. I didn't want to see him like that.
He waited, and I realized I still hadn't agreed.
"Yeah." I mumbled, "I'll stay."
He seemed satisfied with that answer, nodding a little to himself.
"The last thing I want is to see him again." I added quietly, and he nodded again.
"Thank you." He said. We both looked over as the front door opened. Emmett led the others out onto the porch, and to my surprise, Edward was still around. He'd been so quiet inside, I didn't think he was still here.
They all descended the steps, coming to join us out in the yard. Esme returned to my side, as well as Carlisle.
"Ready?" Emmett asked, his question directed to Jasper.
"For what?" I asked, unable to help being curious.
"Someone's gotta check on Jack-ass." Emmett replied, "Normally, we don't like leaving them alone."
"Oh." That was answer enough for me, and I looked down. With a nod, they both left. Leaving everyone else standing here. Also to my surprise, Carlisle stayed as well.
"Aren't you gonna go with them?" I asked him, and he looked at me.
"I trust they can handle it." He assured me, "Jack shouldn't be waking up tonight. He still has at least a day." I believed him, so I sighed.
"So I hear your hunts aren't going as planned?" Alice brought up, and I glanced over.
"No." I muttered, "I hate it. It's too hard."
"That's what we were warning you about." She laughed apologetically, "The more you give in, the harder it will be to make the switch. Jasper is only tough on you because he knows what you're going through."
"That don't make me want human blood any less." I admitted and she laughed again. I just whimpered this time, reminded of what I couldn't have.
For confirmation, I looked up at Carlisle.
"Unfortunately," He said, "She's right. I'm sorry, Leandra." With a sigh, and a disappointed whimper, I hugged him.
The second I held onto him, though, I flinched. The second my thoughts cleared themselves, I understood what was happening. I'd had enough experience having visions in real time, thanks to Aro in my previous visions, but it still caught me off guard for it to happen so suddenly and with very little chance to prepare myself.
It wasn't exactly like seeing anything, because my eyes could still see, but more like viewing a memory I had yet to make as it scrolled through my head in a series of pictures.
The field around me was on fire.
Not real fire, but the color of fire. Golds, yellows, reds swaying in the light breeze around me, the tall grass lit aflame by the setting sun. In that breeze, I can smell more than just the grassy, earthy smell that came with the wilds of nowhere. Nothing in any direction, as far as the eye could see. I can smell more than the breeze coming off the ocean just miles to the north. More than the subtle differences, the varying sweetness of a swiftly changing season. In these deep breaths, I smelled peace. I smelled a calm, a relaxation I had never known in my life.
I felt myself look up at Carlisle.
A bird called somewhere east, and I smiled in its direction.
I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone, but we were alone.
I frowned a little, confused.
From behind me, I listened to Carlisle and Esme's approach. They caught up to me, and I looked over at them. Their skin lit, just like mine was, in billions of facets of a trillion diamonds. It was a sight I knew well, but one I never grew tired of seeing.
We were alone, and there was no tension. Just an overwhelming sense of peace. Calm, and comfort.
I had no idea what I was seeing. It really didn't make any sense. Why was there such a sense of peace, but we were here in this place alone? Where were the others?
"Race you." I challenged for the thousandth time. I never got tired of running, but now I'd learned to love running with them.
I started the run, straight toward the setting sun. Holding my arms out to the sides as I did so. Feeling nothing but the caresses of millions of blades of tall grass wisp across the skin of my arms.
"Leandra." Edward tried to call me out of it.
A thought crossed my mind at that point, changing how I was viewing this vision.
This was exactly the way I'd always been told Heaven would be like.
Like a switch had been flipped, I was through the vision.
I looked wide-eyed over at Edward, and his own surprise made me start to tremble. A tearless few sobs leaving me. I was so suddenly terrified, even of the memory of that emotional vision.
My fearful instincts were on hyperdrive, flooding me with tension and the sense of danger. I shoved away from Carlisle, my overwhelming fear tensing me a bit too much, and I wound up pouncing right into a tree. I scrambled upward, finding the nearest branch to crouch in. I couldn't control it.
I was going to die soon.
Something was about to take my life, and I didn't even know what it was.
"No, Leandra." Edward called, "Get back down here. We need to work out decisions. We need to figure out if there's anything we can to do to keep that from ever happening."
But I wasn't listening.
"What was it?" Carlisle asked, obviously concerned at my reaction.
"A vision." Alice figured it out easily.
"This doesn't end well." Edward admitted quietly, "Well.. Where you end up is wonderful, but.. The idea behind it isn't nearly as pleasant."
"Who?" Carlisle asked, getting the idea.
"You." He answered, "Esme, and Leandra." I stayed tense up in the tree. I couldn't come down. I clearly heard Carlisle sigh, and I knew what he was thinking. I was terrified, and he was trying to accept it.
"Edward," Carlisle spoke up again, "We need to discuss some things."
"Don't." Edward replied firmly, "We will figure this out."
"I haven't seen anything like that." Alice murmured, "There has to be some kind of mistake."
I listened to someone starting a climb up to me, and I knew immediately that it was Esme. Had anyone else tried it, I wouldn't have allowed it.
"We need to warn the others." I mumbled as she arrived at my branch, "The other kids." I could only think of one thing that would cause us to lose our lives. There weren't many things out there that could possibly cause this result.
"I promise I won't let anything happen to you." She replied, settling on the branch beside me. I whimpered, accepting her embrace as she pulled me into her side. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared.
"Leandra." Edward tried again, "Come back down here. We need to find out more."
"Edward, I need to know you'll lead the others." Carlisle said, "Should it come to that."
"Leandra." Edward snapped this time, and this time, I growled in response. The harsher his tone got, the more defensive I got. Now, short of coming up here and dragging me out, he wasn't going to get me to move.
"That isn't going to work, Edward." Esme told him, "Let her calm down."
"We don't know how long we have, Esme." Edward argued, "We need to use this time wisely. Hiding in a tree isn't going to solve anything."
"Neither is rushing her." Esme countered, "Please."
I heard him growl, but Edward turned away.
And Esme was right. It took me several minutes, closer to half an hour, but I did eventually climb down. The second I did, Edward came closer, causing me to take a half step back into Esme's side, glancing up at him.
"Try again." He said, and I hesitated, my eyes on the ground. I couldn't help being intimidated by him. He spoke again, "Now isn't the time. Try again."
"I can't." I mumbled, "Edward-"
"Try again." He insisted, but I growled now at his tone. It was true that I couldn't bring myself to even want to try with him demanding things from me. He sighed heavily, "Leandra."
"Please don't put this all on her." Carlisle murmured, "It's not her fault. I knew the consequences of my actions."
"I'm not willing to just let it happen." Edward replied, "You may be, but I'm not giving up yet. I refuse, but I need Leandra to cooperate."
"Edward." Alice murmured, and he looked over at her. A silent conversation seemed to pass between them, but if it got him away from me, I didn't care what it was. While he was distracted, I hesitantly pulled away from Esme's side and moved over toward Carlisle. Esme followed, so I felt a little better. More protected.
I was hesitant to hug him again, but I was there, glaring at Edward as he suddenly looked over at me again. He moved to walk toward me, and oddly, my instincts had changed. Instead of running, like I usually would have, I ducked further behind Carlisle. Esme moved the same second I did, stepping closer to Carlisle's side.
"Edward," Esme spoke as she filled in the slight gap between them, giving me more protection, "Patience. Please."
With a pointed expression, Edward looked over at Alice.
"Try again." Alice told him this time.
He sighed and moved forward exactly three more steps. I growled, surprisingly not budging. I wasn't sure what their plan was, but I couldn't help the way I reacted. One more step, and I reached out. Holding onto Carlisle's wrist.
I wasn't sure if they were expecting that to work this time, but when nothing happened, Edward waited. No vision came forward like it did before. In a way, I knew it wouldn't. It had to have been pure coincidence that I'd gotten that vision as soon as I hugged him earlier. My gift had never been dependent on contact before. Why would it start now? I knew myself better than that.
Thankfully, we were interrupted. Jasper came running, faster than I thought actually possible. The relief at no longer being harassed by Edward faded as fast as Jasper approached.
"Carlisle." He was speaking before he even got here, "We have a problem." I peeked out from behind him at that word, suddenly more tense. Before anything else was even said, Edward was off running in the direction Jasper had just come. Taking the hint, Alice and Rose both followed him. Whatever vision I'd just had would apparently wait, which told me to worry. A lot.
"What is it?" Carlisle asked, also tense.
"He's awake." That's all I needed to hear. Losing my breath for a second. I rounded with my own growl, dodging Esme's attempts to stop me as I started in a run. Forgetting all about the promise I'd made to Jasper just moments ago.
"Leandra." Jasper called behind me, but I ignored that. I caught up with the others pretty easily, running along with them instead of trying to move ahead. I would need to follow them, as I had no idea where I was going. I wasn't surprised that we were headed further into the middle of nowhere, but I did a double take as I caught a scent I'd never smelled before.
That had to be Jack.
I broke off from the group with another growl, trailing the scent closely. He wasn't getting away. I knew full well there were attempts to call me back, but I couldn't hear them. I followed the scent north, then east. As far as I knew, Jasper and Esme were the only ones that followed me, Carlisle staying on the course he was on. I had a bad feeling about that.
"Incoming." I heard up ahead of me, and suddenly, I was catching up fast. Meaning, it had stopped.
Sure enough, it was him. I locked my sight on him as he stood there, glaring hard as I recognized him. He seemed braced, almost prepared for me.
"Don't even think about it." An unknown male leaned over and told him. That threw me off, but I kept going. I really should have stopped, but I decided against that.
He caught me mid-pounce, gripping me by the head, he swung me around and flipped me. He slammed me violently against the ground like I literally didn't weigh a thing, my cry echoing around me. My entire body seemed to burst into violent pain, and it confused me. I wasn't expecting that to hurt, but it did. The pain faded fast, but I was still dazed.
He stepped closer, standing over the crater I'd created when I hit the ground, looking down at me. He didn't speak, but I could read the intense anger in his eyes.
To my surprise, though, he wasn't alone. Two males approached as well, looking down at me. I fully recognized one as the one that spoke to Jack as I was running, and another as Laurent. Two of the three nomads exploring the area.
"A kid?" Laurent was the first to speak, surprised. I attempted to scramble up, but Jack stepped right square on my chest, pinning me almost easily.
"It's a kid." The other one, who I assumed was James given the fact that Laurent was here, chuckled, "What are you doing here, little ankle-biter?"
I clawed at Jack's leg, squirming out from under him when he lifted up a bit. I could hurt him too, but he was stronger. I attempted to turn and run, fully ready to abort the mission, but James caught a tight hold of my arm. I yelped as he jerked me back before I could react, but I wasn't hurt.
A quick look around told me both Esme and Jasper were stopped, kept at bay several feet back by a female. Her bright red hair glinting a bit in the daylight that made it through the tops of the trees. That had to be Victoria. The one that caused so many problems before. That had to be her, because I hated her so much already.
It didn't take me long to piece together what happened. The nomads had stumbled on Jack, deciding to take him in as a newborn. It suddenly made so much sense, and I no longer wondered what 'problem' Jasper had run back to tell us about.
This was just what we needed.
I couldn't really concentrate on that just yet. At this point, I was almost too angry to move. Tensed so hard, I literally couldn't.
"I'm sensing it's story time." James muttered, looking over at Jack, "You know her?"
"Yeah." Jack finally growled, "I know her."
I attempted a bite on James' hold, but he seemed prepared for that as well. Jerking away, but replacing his other hand. Slapping me with his free hand and I whimpered. Deciding against trying that again right then.
James seemed amused, "She's a biter."
"No kidding." Jack grumbled, his angry eyes on me, "She really is."
"James." Laurent spoke up, "She's part of that coven. We're not looking for trouble. Just let her go."
"Hmm?" James looked back at Jack, as if looking for his opinion, "Anything that happens right now would be considered clear self-defense."
"Let her go." Jack nodded, "I'll come back for her later, but hold on. I want to try something." James held me and I tensed, glaring up as Jack approached me. Somewhere back behind me, Esme attempted to run forward, but she was pushed back.
That pushed me passed the paralyzing anger just enough to remember how to move. Before Jack could get too close, I jerked my arm out of James' grip and turned on him. I managed a rough bite to his other arm, more toward the bicep before he could even react.
"Ow!" He shouted, "Shit!"
I realized half a second too late that I should have used this time to run, because I was gripped tight behind the neck and ripped away from James with a force that left my head spinning.
Turning me around, and with all the hatred he could muster, Jack punched me in the stomach. I crumbled around a quiet cry of pain, actually losing the strength in my legs as I hit the ground. Once again, I had no idea that was possible, but it apparently was. I attempted to stand back up, but Jack chuckled, the sound dark and echoing in my mind as he shoved me back down to recover from his hit. Jack leaned forward, his arms braced on his knees so he could look me right in the eye.
"Hit her again for me." James growled from the side, raising his torn shirt-sleeve.
"I should have done that when I had the fucking chance." Jack told me, and I hated the reminder. I glared at his glare, having a sort of terrifying stand-off with him.
"Vendetta?" Victoria asked, glancing back. I jumped up, once again ready to run, but he caught me. I turned around, but before I could even hope to attack him, he grabbed my throat, lifted me off my feet and slammed me back into a tree. The whole tree shuddered alarmingly, splinters exploding from where I landed.
I clenched my teeth in response, more tense than I'd been yet as he held me there. I very quickly realized that he literally had my life in his hand. Not that he never had before, but right then, I could have been a twitch away from losing my life.
I twisted a bit, but my feet couldn't find the ground.
Briefly, Jack glanced up. Passed me, and straight at Esme before he looked back down at me.
"They really should have let you kill me." He murmured quietly to me, his crimson eyes boring into mine.
"I wanted to." I gasped out, my own tone holding just as much hatred as his did.
"Good." He smiled, but that was all he said. With another chuckle and a light shrug, he punched me again and he shoved me away. I caught my fall, scrambling away with a growl of my own as I raced back to Esme's side. Physically, I was fine. The initial impact of his fist had hurt, and I felt a bit of lingering pain, but I knew I'd be okay.
Esme easily accepted my hug, glaring in their direction as well.
And just like that, they were gone. All four of them. I wasn't stupid enough to follow them, and after that brief encounter, I really saw why I should have listened to them when they tried to stop me. Lesson learned.
I shook in my tension. Seeing Jack like this, like I remembered him most, made it difficult to trust that I'd be okay. I bit back the fear I knew I should have felt, struggling with myself and whimpering as I hugged onto Esme's side.
"Leandra." Jasper was pissed, "Do you have any idea how easily you could have just lost your life?" I glared over at him, but didn't reply. I was finding it hard to want to speak when he was this mad. It made calming down a whole lot harder, and I actually was surprised to realize I felt very angry at Jasper. Just for talking.
"Well?" He barked, and we listened to the sound of the others approaching. I glared at him and he glared at me while they arrived. Again, I didn't bother to reply. Of course I knew how easily I could have lost my life, but I also couldn't deny that I wanted Jack's death more than I wanted to live.
There was a huge difference between how I felt before, and how I felt now. I craved a fight with Jack like I craved blood. Almost more.
I was done letting him win.
Carlisle stopped at our side, but to my vague surprise, Rosalie kept going. Given the sound she was making as she ran by, she wasn't happy. With one last glare at me, a silent warning to stay put, Jasper started after Rosalie.
"Are you both okay?" Carlisle asked us, but instead of waiting for Esme to answer that, my mind decided that I wasn't done. Sending me running before I could even make the decision to, an angry snarl leaving me as I tore away.
"Leandra!" Esme called after me, and I ignored her following, "Stop!"
Once again, I caught up to the others pretty easily. I had my own reasons for doing this, and as much as I couldn't control it, I didn't want to control it. I refused to sit back and let this happen again.
I couldn't do anything about it before, but I could now.
Jasper, however, wasn't okay with my being here. Just as I went to pass him, he reached over and caught a tight hold of my arm. Mid-stride, I jumped in an attempt to free myself, which caused me to go tumbling. Not willing to let me go, Jasper went with me.
I fought him the entire way down the slight rocky embankment to our right until we finally rolled to a stop. As hard as I could, I shoved at him, but it wasn't going to work this time.
"Stay here." His firm tone was almost pure growl, but I just snarled in response, laying a hard slap against his face. I managed to knock him off of me, but before I could get up, he caught my ankle.
Pure instinct now made me turn on him, but it was different this time. This time, I wasn't out to warn him. He braced himself, though, in the split second he had to react. He caught a rough hold of my shoulder, moving to the side at the exact same time. Knocking me off balance and gaining the upper hand.
In gaining the upper hand, he managed to force me over and pin me. Both my knees folded, tucked tight under my stomach, one of my arms between my stomach and knees. My other arm was stretched out, my hand pinned to the ground, as well as my neck as he placed one knee on the center of my back, his full weight on that knee well out of reach of my teeth. It was a rather awkward position for me to try to struggle, but that didn't stop me from trying.
I managed to free my arm, but he released the back of my neck, grabbing that one as well.
"Listen to me." He talked fast, knowing I wouldn't stay like this for long, "Listen." I was pissed, far passed the point of talking.
I wasn't even sure how I did it, but I pushed off with both my legs at once. Knocking him off of me and to the side, while I rounded on him again.
"Leandra." Esme's firm voice stopped me in my tracks this time, turning my glare over to her. In probably a smart move, Jasper moved. I was now torn between wanting to continue fighting with Jasper and listening to Esme.
"You can't keep doing that." Jasper told me, getting back onto his feet, "Not only-"
"Get out of my way." I had no idea where that had come from, but I needed him to move if I was going to keep following Jack. I didn't want to risk going around him again.
"Stop this." Esme told me, and again, I looked back at her, "Leandra, you'll only get yourself hurt."
"He's getting away!" I nearly plead, "I can stop him!"
"No you can't." Jasper snapped, but I wasn't done being pissed, "You'll get either yourself killed, or one of us hurt trying to help you."
I braced myself with another warning growl straight at him, and decided to just go for it. I started forward, attempting to get around him. He nearly got another hold on me, but I was ready. I slapped him again, gaining my freedom when he fell to the side.
The sound of my hand hitting him wasn't even done echoing in the trees, but I didn't wait to be scolded. I just ran.
Just as I suspected. I might not have been much stronger than Emmett, but I had a fighting chance against the others. I could take them on. I sensed that that was a bad thing to learn, but I didn't care right then.
I just pushed on, following the scent now straight east. I wasn't about to let Jack run my life anymore. I was done. I ran, passed the point where Rose and the others had been stopped. Blowing right passed them without a hesitating footstep.
"Leandra?" Carlisle was in that group.
The scent trailed south now, and by now, I was practically on their heels. They had to hear me coming, but they didn't stop. In my head, I quickly went over what needed to be done.
"Leandra, stop." Carlisle was following me. To my surprise. I knew there was no way he'd be able to catch up to me unless I let him.
"I'm not done!" I called back, but also ahead.
"She just won't leave you alone." I was close enough to hear them laugh. They laughed. That only infuriated me even more.
Ahead of me, I heard the sound of someone stopping, so stupidly, I kept going. Excited that I would get another chance.
No doubt trying to mess with me, Jack stood there. Yet again, waiting for me to catch up. He tried to move to the side but I slid, rounded, and pounced. I managed a good, solid hold on his shoulders from behind him, digging my fingers in. Scrambling for a hold on his neck.
Unfortunately, with pain, he was no longer ready to play around. He reached back with one hand and grabbed a tight hold of my hair. Whipping me around, prying me off his back and around in front of him. I lost my footing, almost tripping sideways. His other hand came out almost on instinct, gripping my face to control my teeth.
I snarled in pain, and hatred of the fact that he'd overpowered me. Again.
"Is this yours, Carlisle?" James chuckled to the side, "Because I think it's about to die."
I ignored that, reaching up with both hands and prying Jack's hands away from me. He dropped me, but I was right back up. At least until I was punched back down, but even then. He swung and I ducked. He brought his hand back, but I pounced. I brought him down around the stomach, but he caught me as he landed. Bringing his arms up, squeezing me between them while he rolled.
It was quickly occurring to me that I couldn't win this fight. Even thinking ahead, trying as hard as I could to anticipate his reactions, there was no way. He was way too strong.
He forced me over, pinning me on my back, but I writhed. I might have been able to hurt him, but I wasn't stronger than him. Being stronger than Jasper had clearly given me false hope. He gripped both my wrists together, forcing them against my stomach with his other hand gripping my throat. In my fight, though, he knew he had to try harder, so he straddled me, and sat on me. Using his size, weight and strength to keep me down.
I panted in my anger, my teeth clenched as I glared up at him.
"Last chance." He growled down at me, but I spit up at him. In a flash, he released my neck and back-handed me. Somehow, that dazed me more than when James had slapped me. He'd used a lot more force.
In my daze, I vaguely heard the sound of more fighting somewhere off to the side. I recognized Emmett's growling, but I was a bit more focused on being pinned myself.
I twisted, but didn't gain an inch of freedom. Instead, I felt my skin giving way under his grip.
"You're not getting away this time." I snapped up at him, "If it's the last thing I do, I'm ending it."
"It will be the last thing you fucking do." He replied sharply, "But you're not ending shit. Look at you. You're pathetic."
Trapping me harder between his knees, he leaned forward, and every single part of me locked up. It became painfully clear exactly why I was so much weaker than him, as his mass alone was more than twice my own.
"Get off of me." I hissed, my teeth clenched.
"Oh, so feisty." He replied in his own growl, "I'm not going to kill you yet. You did me a favor, but.. Don't you fucking worry. You'll be crawling back soon enough. Don't bother fighting it." With a chuckle, he kissed my cheek roughly.
I flinched a little as Jack was suddenly off of me. I was jerked up to my feet, and was suddenly standing behind Esme. She was crouched a bit, and more tense than I'd ever seen her. I could only imagine the look on her face. I glared at him as well. I could still feel his lips against my face as the feeling faded slowly.
Jack righted himself from where he'd landed, taking in the scene with what I could only guess was tense amusement. He looked her over, and I could almost hear the thoughts crawling through his head.
I took a step, attempting to get around Esme, but her arm came out. Stopping me in my tracks. Before I could try again, Alice suddenly arrived at our side and took a hold of my arm, Carlisle arriving next. Taking the spot in front of us.
Though the others had arrived, Jack's eyes were still on Esme.
"Keep that fucking thing on a leash." Jack growled at her, pointing at me. Which prompted a slight struggle from me.
"Don't threaten my family again." Carlisle told him in return, and I looked up at him. For once, Jack actually seemed to hesitate, but he quickly hid it behind a smile.
"I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again." Jack replied, "Don't you worry about that." He looked at me, and I tensed in response, "Think of me. Know that whatever happens is your fault."
I gave a brief fight with Alice, but she jerked me back. Her heated glare on Jack. In response, his eyes found her next. He didn't say anything to her, but the way he eyed her made me uncomfortable.
With a small chuckle, he turned and was gone before I could get free. I fought for a second longer, but Alice's hand only tightened.
"Stop." Was all she said, and I looked up at her, "Look."
I took a minute, and I fought with myself, but when I could finally focus on anything besides my anger, I turned around. I watched as Carlisle walked away, heading over to the others.
The first thing that caught my eye was the pile of flaming parts off to the side. Instinct had me disliking that pile of flames as the smell suddenly hit me. It made me defensive to know that that used to be a vampire.
Emmett sat further off to the side, looking our way and holding his onto his arm at the shoulder. Rosalie stood beside him, looking back at me as well. I really didn't miss the blame hiding in her eyes, mirroring Jasper's as well as he stood beside her.
The anger began to dissipate, and shame filled its spot. When she sensed that I wasn't going to run again, she gently released my arm. Carlisle kneeled beside Emmett to get a look at his arm, and I heard him sigh as he did. Shaking his head.
"You see?" Alice asked quietly, but I didn't answer. She went on anyway, "This is what can happen when you don't listen when we tell you to stay put. When you don't let it go, or trust that we'll handle it."
I didn't exactly know what to say. Glancing over as Esme finally relaxed enough to come to my side.
"You thought you were invincible." Alice told me, "Completely disregarding your own safety, which put the rest of us in danger. Emmett could have been killed today, and very nearly was. Trying to defend you."
I couldn't look at them anymore, so I looked down.
"Don't be too hard on her." Emmett actually spoke up in my defense, "You gotta hand it to her. She's brave."
"Don't encourage her, Emmett." Jasper nearly snapped.
"Don't condemn her either, Jasper." Emmett countered, "It's not all her fault."
"The whose fault is it?" He asked, "She made the decision not to listen." He took a breath, shaking his head as he sighed heavily, "Carlisle, maybe Rose is right."
It didn't take a genius to figure out what he was referring to.
"Don't even say that." Emmett barked before Carlisle could reply, "What? She gets into a little bit of trouble-"
"A little bit of trouble?" Jasper countered, "Look around you, Emmett. Had she listened the first time, even the second time, this wouldn't have happened." He gestured to the flaming pile beside him.
"Had we taken guard duty more seriously, Jack-ass never would have been found by the three of them." Emmett argued.
"Perhaps if she hadn't run away, we could have taken guard duty more seriously." Jasper shot right back, "Perhaps we would have been more prepared if Leandra hadn't had us out searching God-knows-where for her."
"This is on us." Emmett insisted, "Not her."
"I obviously can't handle her." Jasper replied, "None of us can. Until you've had the pleasure of being punched in the face by her-"
"Get over it." Emmett snapped, finally standing up, "Seriously. Get over it. She almost tore my arm off. You don't see me bitching-"
"Emmett." Jasper cut him off, with what I couldn't take as a warning.
I'd never, in both entire visions or otherwise, seen them so angry at each other. I honestly couldn't recall a single time they were this mad, this threatening toward each other. It was really very shocking to see.
With a frown, I looked up at Esme. It was clear she was confused as well.
"We're not going to just give up on her because you can't handle a tiny newborn." Emmett snapped, and if I didn't know him, I would swear he was pretty prepared to take a swing.
"We'll discuss this later." Carlisle told them firmly, putting an end to their argument, "Both of you, stop it."
It took me a second before I fully understood what I was looking at. What would possibly cause them to turn on each other so suddenly? Who would possibly cause them to turn on each other?
To my other side, Alice moved forward. Probably sensing the same tension I did, and that tension was only getting higher. Once Alice moved, though, Esme moved. Allowing me to stand there, watching Carlisle attempt to move Emmett back, as he'd taken a few healthy steps toward Jasper. Jasper seemed perfectly content with letting Emmett make all the advances, but Esme stood in front of him anyway. Just in case.
It made perfect sense that Jack would have overdone it with his gift while he was here just now.
They were very nearly at each other's throat, and I realized that for the first time, I might have been looking at exactly how much destruction Jack was capable of. His entire potential. I now fully understood why Aro chose to leave him alive last time.
"Stop." I called in a whimper, jogging forward when they didn't acknowledge me. I approached Jasper first, "Guys." I just hadn't realized just how far Jack had taken this whole situation.
In instinct, I ducked away as Jasper looked at me sharply. His glare enough to intimidate me.
"Whoa." I whimpered, turning away, "Okay." I moved for Carlisle instead, as I knew Emmett didn't hate me.
"Don't do that." Alice scolded Jasper, "Calm down."
"Calm down?" Rosalie asked, "That little runt almost got us killed today."
"Don't call her a runt, babe." Emmett glanced over at her, "Not you too."
"It wasn't intentional, Rose." Alice countered, and I could almost physically see the tension between them raising as well.
"It doesn't matter if it wasn't intentional." Rosalie argued, "In fact, that makes it worse, because if she caused all this without even meaning to, what's she going to do when it is intentional?"
"You've been on her case since day one," Alice whipped back at her, "Both you, and Jasper. Maybe she would listen to you more if you both weren't ready to toss her off a cliff."
"Don't be so overdramatic, Alice." Jasper shook his head at her, "All I'm saying-"
I stopped listening in then, turning both the arguments into background noise as I knew I had to let Carlisle know.
"This isn't really them." I mumbled, not even realizing I was whispering, the way I did with Shannon, and Carlisle probably wouldn't have heard me. I was about to repeat myself louder, but he looked down at me. That surprised me enough to look up at him.
"You heard me?" I asked in the same hushed voice, and though he looked back over at the arguing group, he did give a nod. Meaning, he wanted to keep it a secret. I wasn't sure why, but I figured it was probably to keep Jasper from getting even angrier at my establishing more of a place here.
I decided to just talk and let him listen.
"This isn't them." I repeated, "This is part of what Jack does. Right now, he doesn't know how to control his gift, so instead of just getting rid of the bonds between them, he turned them against each other. That's probably why Jasper and me fought today-" I cut myself off as Carlisle had to focus on pushing Emmett back again, and I moved out of the way.
Unfortunately gaining Jasper's attention again when I moved.
"And you." He barked at me, silencing everyone else, "What do you have to say in all this?"
I gave him a short look, turning away. Headed for Esme's side, but to my surprise, I was suddenly grabbed by the arm and whirled around. The grip actually ached a bit with the pressure, which only made me defensive. I actually wasn't surprised to see that it was Jasper that had a hold of me.
"I was looking for an answer." He told me firmly, but I just glared up at him. Trusting that at any second..
Sure enough, Carlisle stepped in from the side, forcing Jasper to release his hold.
"I understand your point." Carlisle said to him, "But I really think we need to talk about this later. Once you've had a chance to calm down."
I didn't feel smug in the slightest. Just grateful that Carlisle would step in for me. I knew Jasper was right about the not listening problem, but I couldn't even look at him. I knew if I did, I'd just get mad again and it worried me to realize that only part of that was Jack's doing.
So I kept my eyes down, which probably really helped calm Jasper just enough to turn away. Beside me, Esme took my hand and I sighed. I didn't want things to turn out this way.
"Why?" Rosalie was going to keep it going, "You know he's right."
"Rosalie." Esme spoke up instead, "We'll discuss this later."
"Big surprise there." Rose rolled her eyes, "Apparently, she can do no wrong just because she's cute."
"She's right." Jasper wasn't done either, looking to Esme now, "Rosalie is right. I don't see why we're taking the word of a bunch of children. I train newborns my way. The way I know is effective. Age has absolutely nothing to do with it."
"Oh, shut up." Emmett countered, "For God's sake."
"She would already be trained if it wasn't for you running your mouth." Jasper returned to arguing with him and I sighed, "Newborns act out, but there is no reason why she shouldn't already know the basics of respect."
Worried now, I looked up at Carlisle. He returned my worry, I could clearly see.
"Carlisle," Rose spoke up again, "There was a reason Aro put that rule in place and you're looking at it. I told you when all this crap with her first started that this wasn't going to work. You never listen."
"Just stop, okay?" I actually spoke up, which was probably the opposite of helpful as she looked at me, "It's not his fault."
"Really." She scoffed, "Then tell me. Who am I supposed to blame? You don't know anything."
"I know more than you do." I spat back, unable to help responding to her tone, "I know the whole reason you're being more of a bitch than you usually are is because of Jack."
"You don't say?" She snapped sarcastically, "Yes, this is about Jack, and the fact that you blatantly ignored any direct order you were given because you're too stubborn to listen."
"That's not-"
"You don't even care about what just happened here, do you?" She went on, stepping around Emmett to get closer to me, "Do you even care about what you're doing? If it wasn't for you, we would all be just fine right now. We were just fine until you came along."
"Don't place it all on her." Esme told her, but she ignored her.
"You're so fine with chasing Jack down," Rose went on, "Why don't you just go back to him where you belong? We sure don't need the headache."
That one hurt. I had no reply to that, so I looked down.
"Stop it." Esme was getting defensive now, "Rosalie, back off. Go home and calm down."
"Rose," Alice added as well, "If she actually leaves because you didn't shut up.." She trailed off.
"What?" She asked, "I'm not allowed to tell the truth anymore?" She looked at me again, "Nobody wanted you here. Least of all Carlisle. He knew he made a mistake that first night, but he refused to admit it."
"That isn't true." Carlisle countered immediately, "Go home, Rosalie."
She shook Emmett's hand off her arm.
"I'm tired of keeping quiet about this, just to spare her feelings." She told him, "This is the worst thing you've ever done."
"Again, she's right." Jasper muttered before he could even reply, "Rose is right, Carlisle. You never should have turned her, knowing the rule against it. Now, not only are we probably going to face the consequences with you, but she'll be causing destruction the entire time until we do. Because she won't be trained."
I hesitated for a second before I tried to speak, "I-I-"
"Don't." He barked at me, and I bit my lip, "I've already given up."
"Jazz." Alice attempted to correct him, but he ignored her. Shaking his head a little.
"Good job." Rose told me sarcastically, and I looked down.
It was so hard at this point to keep reminding myself that everything they were saying was caused by Jack, because I knew at least part of it had to be true. There had to be something there for him to sever or to build on.
"Babe," Emmett spoke to Rose, "She's just a kid. Lay off."
"That is not just a kid." She countered, turning her angry expression onto Emmett as she pointed at me, "That is something that never should have existed, and you can't tell me otherwise." Defiantly, she looked back over at Carlisle, "She goes, or I do."
That surprised me. This was something I really hadn't anticipated. Just how fast things could go down in flames.
"You can't be serious." Esme replied, just as surprised as I was, given her tone.
"I'm completely serious." She said firmly.
"She never asked for this."
"I never asked for her." Rose replied, "I never signed on to play babysitter to the kid straight from Hell. You might be content with cleaning up after her tantrums, but I'm sure not. Jasper told you that this would be a problem. I told you that this would be a problem, yet neither of you listened to a word we said."
Looking around, I could really see what kind of pressure I was placing on Alice and Emmett just by being here. Rose and Jasper were both dead-set against me, and I knew that Alice or Emmett wouldn't be able to let them leave without going with them.
I also knew that Esme or Carlisle would never force me to leave, which only added to the problem. Definitely not if all of this was only caused by one person.
"I have to go." I whispered, knowing Carlisle heard me, "I can't let them throw everything away just because of me." He looked down at me just as I looked up at him. I went on, "Find Jack. You need to find Jack, because he's the only one besides Chelsea that can fix this. You don't want to ask Chelsea, because to do that, you would have to go through Aro, and if Aro finds out you turned me.." I trailed off.
"Great." Rose had clearly caught on, "Now they speak each others language."
"I'm going." I snapped at her, "You got your wish. Happy now?"
"I won't be happy until you're gone." She snapped in reply.
"You're not going anywhere, shorty." Emmett assured me, looking over at Rose, "Just stop it."
"No," I said, "It's not her fault. She doesn't mean it. Not really. I don't want anyone to leave, and I have someplace I can go."
"Since when has voting someone off the island been okay?" Emmett asked, obviously outraged, "Especially when Rose could have been voted off for doing the exact same thing."
"Excuse me?" She turned to him, angry as well.
"You wanted your revenge, didn't you?" He asked in return, "Now imagine if he'd been a vampire too. What would you have done?"
"That is not the same." She snapped, "For one, I wouldn't have dragged everyone else into it with me."
"She's nine." He pointed out firmly, "She's just a tiny little thing. She gave one hell of an effort, and she wasn't exactly forcing us to go at it with her. She never even asked for our help."
"She did, however, make me a promise." Jasper threw that in.
"And you made me one." I snapped this time, "You broke yours just as fast as I broke mine."
"I broke mine in self-defense." He countered, "Had I not, you would have seriously hurt me. You are a newborn, Leandra. You're stronger than I am."
"That still doesn't mean you have to do that." I replied, "Newborn or not, it's not fair that you can break your promises, but when I break mine, I'm the worst person in the world."
"Life isn't fair." Rose snapped at me, and I flinched a little, "What did you expect him to do? Let you damage him?"
"No." I mumbled, "But-"
"But what?" She asked, crossing her arms, "Really."
"Rosalie," Carlisle corrected her, "Enough. I said we would discuss this later. At home." His tone had hardened, and I immediately took note of that. I looked down, only glancing up as Rose was suddenly gone with a quiet growl of irritation. Emmett followed her with a sigh.
"If I have to leave," I mumbled, looking up at Carlisle, "You know where to find me if you need me."
"Don't go, Leandra." Alice murmured, "She'll come around." But Jasper shaking his head at the ground told me otherwise. Even after Alice elbowed him.
Despite it being Jack's doing, and knowing me leaving probably wouldn't fix anything, it sure didn't fix anything to stay.
"You're not leaving." Carlisle replied, finally putting a stop to that, "Not on your own, and definitely not with Jack loose."
"He might help you out if I'm not with you."
"Now we're after his help?" Jasper frowned.
"Remember what I told you?" I asked in reply, "About his gift? Right now, he doesn't know how to control it. The way you're mad at everyone is because of him. He gets rid of the bonds people make to each other, and I guess turns them against each other. Just like what Chelsea can do. Only at the same time, he makes those people loyal to him."
For once, Jasper seemed to think about it.
"There's no way I'd be able to tolerate him." He finally said with a scoff.
"He didn't have that much time." I pointed out, "But I bet you would change your mind the next time he sees you."
"How do we fix it?" Alice asked, obviously unhappy about this reminder.
"We don't." I muttered, "Only he can, or Chelsea, but maybe knowing about it could help."
Jasper frowned again, though.
"That certainly explains why I felt so angry with you." Finally.
I nodded, "And why I wanted to kill you."
"Let's get home." Carlisle murmured, deep in thought, "I think Rose needs to hear this." I nodded in agreement this time, allowing him to take the lead.
I held onto Esme's hand the whole way, feeling safer with her right there.
I was incredibly relieved to find Rosalie and Emmett had actually gone home, as they could have gone anywhere. With Jasper's point of view, we were able to explain it to them in a way they would understand. In a way Rose would listen to. Hers was a bit harder to explain, because she'd been against me from day one. As Alice had pointed out. Jasper had at least tried to make it work.
It was tense at best, as they all still hated each other, but I could tell that knowing about what was behind it made it a little easier to keep from outright fighting.
"There's one more thing." I mumbled after all the explanations were out, "Which one did you kill?" I needed to know who had been killed while I was with Jack.
"The blonde one." Jasper replied tightly, "James."
"Crap." I sighed, sitting down, "Well, so much for keeping them off our tail."
"Don't blame us." Rose snapped, and I glared, "It's not like we had a choice. Thank you for that, by the way."
"I'm not blaming anybody." I snapped right back, "All I'm saying is everything I was trying to fix before is happening anyway. Jack got turned anyway, James died anyway, and you just watch. Victoria is going to come back, and probably bring Jack with her because she hates us now as much as Jack hates me."
"Shit." Emmett sighed, looking down.
"The best we can do right now is stay together." Carlisle said, and I looked over at him, "Yes, that means you too, Leandra."
I waited, waiting for the others to disagree, but the most Rose did was turn with a sigh of disgust and pace away.
"Don't worry about her, shorty." Emmett saw my distraction, "You're not going anywhere, and neither is she."
I felt so bad, but I did have to agree. Staying together right now was probably the safest thing we could do. I didn't even need to ask where Edward was, as I already knew. Having a human to protect would only complicate things. I knew that better than anyone.
"If she's staying," Jasper spoke up, "She still needs to be trained." That reminded me. I needed to hunt again. After the hell of a night I'd had, the now familiar burn in my throat was particularly painful. I didn't dare bring it up, though.
After all was said and done, I really couldn't figure out how it could be worse. I used to think just having Jack on his own was the worst it could get, but I was so wrong. Victoria had proven before just how far she was willing to go to get revenge for James, but with Jack's sadistic mind, what could they come up with?
There wasn't much we could do right now, aside from try to stay out of each other's way, as Carlisle refused to go looking for him, and would rather wait for him to find us. I couldn't blame him.
Until then, we would just have to make the best of it.
I still had Esme with me, and I still had Emmett on my side. I wasn't as upset with him anymore. Alice was also a good person to have on my side. I couldn't help worrying, though.
What did that vision mean? Really thinking about it, I had to have had that vision just as Jasper and Emmett had found that Jack was awake. It was stupid to think that there could be any other explanation.
It was hard enough to handle Jack when I was older. Sure, I was far more sturdy now, but I was no match for him, and getting weaker with each hunt I took. I just had to be smart.
I knew one thing for sure, though. With Carlisle and Esme, I knew no matter what came for me, we would be together. I took comfort in that thought. Knowing that they would make sure that nothing would happen to me without them doing everything they could to protect me. That made me sad, but it also did comfort me.
The way my human life had ended would always be a part of me, and I would always remember what I'd been through and where I'd come from, but I had more I needed to focus on now. I was being forced to look ahead. Maybe that was for the best, though. Maybe that was what I needed to be trained. To stop letting my instincts be controlled by the events of my past.
With that thought, I could feel myself being led forward. Figuratively. Taking that first step forward, and despite how much I hated it, I felt like I could handle whatever was going to come at us because I sensed the familiarity in the situation, but I couldn't help being nervously curious. The same events had happened as in the previous visions, but would them being out of sequence change enough to make those visions useless?
Until that happened, though, I would work on becoming the best I could be. No matter what Jack did, I would change Jasper's mind about me. I would make Rosalie see that she was wrong in the beginning. They were wrong.
Sitting with Esme on the front porch steps, I stayed silent as I made these promises to myself. I would build up. I would work hard to make sure that when the time came, they could depend on me instead of worry about me.
I had a reason again.
END
A/N: I know it was just beginning to get interesting, but trust me. This is a good spot to end it.
HUGE, MASSIVELY GIGANTIC THANK YOU! To those that left their reviews last chapter! ALL OF YOU ARE AMAZING! THANK YOU!
I will admit that this took a bit to get written, mostly thanks to writer's block. It's a bit hard to focus when I know what I want to happen, but actually getting it written out is.. Difficult to say the least, and the chance of being as surprised by what happens as you guys are is very high lol
Anyhoo.
Expect to see more of the Tacoma kids in the next one, whether we want to or not. They're very pushy.
The next one may take a few days as I get caught up with them and get some written down, but I'm hoping not too long. (;
Until next story, my friends! :D