Chapter 9

Misaki Ayuzawa hated Usui Takumi at that very moment.

"I can't do this anymore." Usui says as he bows his head low, his fists tightening at his sides.

Misaki could only stare at him, her lips parted as she took one ragged breath after another.

"I'm just..." Usui gives a big, exasperated sigh, his eyes hutting closed at the horrible torrent of embarrassment and shame filling his system.

Misaki continued to stare.

It was happening, wasn't it?

He was breaking up with her.

And the reality of the situation hit the raven haired girl hard, as air wooshed out of her lungs. Her heart seemed to stop beating as her world fell apart. Her throat constricted and her hands flew to her neck, grasping for the rope that seemed to have wound itself around her neck. Feeling nothing but her cold and clammy skin on her fingertips, the panic began to crawl its way into her head. Goosebumps dotted her skin as chills sent her body into shivers.

"Misaki." Usui rises from his seat across the table amd flies to her side, a hand wrapping itself around her forearm, anchoring her as her body threatened to tip over the side.

She felt the need to speak.

Maybe if she said something, he'd change his mind. He would stop breaking up with her. Inside her head, promises of taking good care of him and whispers of sweet nothings filled her conciousness.

But she couldn't seem to even make a single peep, not with the threat of large, fat tears spilling from her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Usui's forehead wrinkles in worry. He leans down to have a closer look, coming face to face with her.

Don't leave me. Misaki wanted to shout. She wished and hoped that he'd read her face and see everything she wanted to say, just like he always did. She looked him straight in the eye, her heart pleading through them at him, hoping, wishing, praying... asking for a second chance. Please.

Usui, however, could only see a pale-faced and sweaty Misaki. His heart beat loudly in his chest as he felt her trembling underneath the hold he had on her arm. Her shoulders visibly shook, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. He reached out to wipe off a drop of sweat from her forehead.

The moment his knuckle touched the skin of her forehead, Misaki flinches, jerking in her seat.

"Shit. 911. Do I need to call for an ambulance, baby?" Usui whispers to her, as though if he talked any louder, she would crumble to pieces. He begins to reach for his phone in his back pants pocket, when Misaki throws her arms around him tightly, albeit still trembling and shaking.

"D-don't... leave... please..." She brings him close, wrapping her arms tight around him. She burries her face in his shoulder.

"Calm down baby."

"Don't leave..." Misaki whispers.

"I'm not going anywhere." Usui whispers back.

They embrace and the room is engulfed in silence. Tokyo's lights twinkle outside the glass window, and Misaki could care less about it all. All she could think of was his warmth around her, bringing her a slight sense of comfort.

"I'll do better." She croaks out against his shoulder. "I'll do better, take care of you better, love you better... just don't leave me." A small sob escapes from her lips as a tear falls from her eye. She meant every word she said. She used to hate these kinds of women--martyr-like, on the verge of desperation, clinging on to the small hope, looking astoundingly stupid to the rest of the world.

But the rest of the world just don't understand the depth of the emotion and the perpexlity of the situation behind these kinds of women. Now in their shoes, Misaki could fully understand exactly why these women hold on so tight to a love that seemed hopeless.

It's the enormity of their feelings that make them hold on. It's the possibility of having more of what they could be, despite the smallest of probabilities, that make them beg for another chance. It's that certainty in the powerful love they have, though one-sided, that give them the stregth to carry on.

Desperate? Maybe. But a great love it is, indeed.

"What are you saying, Misaki?" Usui takes a step back and holds Misaki at arm's length, giving her face a once-over. Misaki refuses to open her eyes to look at him, praying to the heavens to make her deaf at that very second, just so she wouldnt hear whatever it was that he had to say. "Wait a sec..."

No... no... no... Misaki's face curls and wrinkles as she forces her eyes shut even tighter.

Usui, seeing her face contorted on that way, laughs as he realizes what it was that's been plauging his girlfriend all night. "No way." He says in between hearty outbursts of laughter.

Misaki ever so slowly opens her eyes and is met with a double-over Usui in front of her, face bright with laughter, shoulders shaking in joy, and knees bent as he laughs almost to the point of falling to the floor.

Usui continues to laugh, and Misaki could only watch with a confused expression as she wondered what the hell it was that made the man laugh so hard. The situation wasn't at all laughable, not to Misaki. And when his laughter slowly melted to a smile, Misaki felt a tinge of annoyance at the look of victory and pure joy that painted his face.

Is this guy going mad?

"No, hun, Im not going crazy." He says. He rraches up and grabs her face by the cheeks with both hands. "I just find you so wonderfully amazing and beautiful and Im in awe of you." He says with a grin, his sparkling eyes set on hers. Confusion furrowed her eyebrows, and Usui leaned down to give her wrinkled forhead a gentle kiss. "So beautiful." He whispers before he plants another kiss on the space between her brows. Her furrows disappear and Misaki feels a soft blush color her cheeks as Usui's lips move on to the tip of her nose, saying "I'm lucky" as he moved.

He pulls away an inch, looks her straight in the eyes, his eyes still glittering with absolute delight. "God, I love you." He declares, his eyes softening at the edges after each word he uttered. Without stopping to let her absorb his words, he pulss her face close to his and kisses her on the lips, soft and gentle.

Misaki's eyes widen in surprise for a fraction of a second before she kisses him back, softly and gently as well, pouring her heart out as she did. They share the sweet kiss with the city lights and the stars blinking in the background, moonlight giving the surroundongs an even softer glow along with the candlelight and the soft lighting inside the room.

He moves away moments later, their kiss a long one but one that made both of them yearning for more. "I'm not breaking up with you." He says as he squats down in front of her, cupping her knees with his hands. He looks up at her. "That's not what I want to tell you. Im so in love with you, but I understand why you thought what you did. These past two weeks, we've been tiptoeing around each other, trying to feel each other out, really. I just don't haveany idea what to do... you're my first girlfriend afterall." His declaration surprises her, and she raises her eyebrow at him. "Yes, Misaki, this is my first legit relationship... I didn't used to want one, a relationship, with anyone... not once, ever, before. Although, I wasnt reqlly against having one... Just that I wasn't interested in having a relationship... Okay, stop looking at me like that... I mean I did hve a fling or two, but that's not the point.

The point is when I met you, I could see myself being a boyfriend to you. Strolling down streets, eating crepes in Harajuku, and wearing animal ears in amusement parks with you... Looking for a perfect gift on your birthday, eating yule logs on christmas in my living room, buying you something for white day, and getting you sweets when I pass by a good bakery on a normal day... I could see all that. I could see myself going the extra mile for you, and then wishing that I could go even farther just so I could get to see your smile for another second. I'm so in love with you, and I sometimes wonder why Im not peeing my pants in fear of what being in love with you means, but I see you, and I see the reason why Im not running scared. Im such a lucky bastard, that you said yes when I asked you out."

"You asshole." Misaki said, tears spilling out of her eyes. "You absolute trash." She gives him a light flick on the forehead. Usui chuckles. "I come here, ready to give you a speech, tell you reasons why you shouldnt break up with me. But here you are, sweet talking me, as if you hadnt just given me the greatest scare of my life since The Grudge." She grabs his head with her hands and leans down to kiss the top of his head before planting her forehead on his. She closes her eyes as she breathes a sigh.

"Youre absolute trash, but I love you still. Ive loved you since that night you grabbed that drunken man and threw him on the ground so hard he passed out, even though I coul dprotect myself. I feel like you probably won't believe me when I say that I love you a whole lot, since Im sure you have an idea of how lust-filled my thoughts are for you. Even I had a hard time believing the depth of my feelings for you, since I know that half the time I'm around you, my panties are damp, but whenever our eyes meet, at those moments, all thoughts of bedrooms and underwear fly out the window, and your eyes are all I see. My heart would beat fast, and flashes of how my life could be with you in it... I dont know how to prove to you that I do love you so much, much more than you think. But I'll spend each second from here on out showing you just how deep it goes."

She stops and savors the moment, her eyes still shut. They fall into silence, and only the sound of their breathing could be heard. When at last she opened her eyes, the last thing she expected to see was the look of wonder and amazement and utter surprise on his face that she saw as he looked up at her.

"I am an idiot." He says as he regained his senses. "Let's go to bed right now." And without another word, he drags her out of thw restaurant into the awaiting elevator. He presses the button for the topmost floor, surprising her. "Don't worry, the penthouse is mine."