~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~IN WHICH OUR "ANGRY MOB" STAGES A JAILBREAK WITH SOME UNUSUAL HELP~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sound of water dripping from the sink was becoming very annoying, a dull, repetitive plink-plink of water slowly falling. Germany inwardly cursed the aggravating sound. It had been going on for hours now, and his newest pounding headache didn't appreciate it one bit.
It had been several hours since the police had finished up and taken them inside the police station. They'd all been subject to a body search, and, much to Hungary's chagrin, her frying pan was once again in the hands of the law. Spain's axe, which was found to be too large to fit cleanly into the small weapon's vault, had been stashed in the office of the police Chief instead, the door locked and the key regularly passed between officers during shift changes. After they'd all been disarmed, the officers had locked them in an underground cellblock, with each nation being put in a separate cell to prevent any "escape planning". Two guards would patrol the cells every half hour or so, and another two guards were each stationed at the entry and exit points into the cellblock.
To Feliciano's relief, they'd been provided with food, and although the meal wasn't gourmet by any stretch of the word, it was better than nothing. However, that didn't mean that no complaints had been made. France had been dissappointed that they hadn't been given any wine, and had sulked in the back of his cell for an hour or so, muttering curses under his breath in French. The nearest guard had ended up yelling at him in Italian to "shut the hell up!", with numerous extra curse words added to the mix for good measure. Spain had ended up taking a nap in his own cell, choosing to get some extra sleep rather than listen to the guard yell at France.
Hungary and Austria had endured the jail conditions with a decent amount of goodwill, despite Austria's mumbled complaints about the drafty cell. Both nations had originally been sent to separate cells, but after a moment of consideration from the officer who'd experienced the wrath of Hungary's frying pan, they'd been allowed to stay together, if only to avoid more trouble. Hungary had been distracted for some time now, alternating between talking with her ex-husband to pass the time, and making plans to get back her frying pan, cackling madly under her breath about "getting the Precious back!". The guard who walked by during this planning, Germany noticed, tended to speed up, as if to get past the cell faster.
Germany didn't like being here, but he felt some sympathy for the humans who had to deal with all of them. Prussia certainly wasn't making their jobs any easier, given that, after an hour or so of cracking unappreciated dirty jokes in the hopes of amusing his fellow inmates, he'd gotten bored enough to start really annoying people, and had ended up singing, on a painfully loud, off-key note, the German translation of "99 Bottles of Beer on the wall" in an endless repetition. He suspected that his crazy sibling had sung so badly on purpose, just to see if he could get a rise out of anyone. The fact that the sound was amplified thanks to the cellblock's tall ceiling really didn't help matters.
The guard shift changed again. Germany looked to the sleeping Italian curled against his side on the prison cot, his slender body shivering slightly in the cool air. He'd put up quite a convincing fuss upon being told that Germany was to be in a separate cell than him, and in the end, those sweet chocolate-brown eyes had won out. The guards had let them stay together.
He'll catch a cold if he doesn't warm up soon... but the guard's won't let us move to a warmer cell, they'd think we might try to escape, and given how we got arrested in the first place, that's not far off the mark. Hmm, what to do, what to do...
After a moment, the answer appeared. He pulled off his jacket and draped it around Feliciano's shoulders, bunching the fabric up securely around his best friend's body. The Italian mumbled something in his sleep before snuggling closer, a string of drool forming at the corner of his mouth. The saliva was wiped away immediately, as Germany knew, from experience, that his ditzy friend might choke on the excess spit in his sleep, given that it had happened before (and caused him a massive panic attack). He settled down again, draping an arm around Feliciano to hold him closer.
It's just to share body heat. Yes, that's it, nothing vrong vith that. Nothing at all. Nothing.
The guard walking by the door gave an appreciative whistle at the sight. Germany swore under his breath and fought down the urge to make a very rude hand gesture.
After a while, it became dark in their cells, and the lights were shut off as the police station began to close up for the night. As the night shift replaced the day shift (as it was so late, only one guard was appointed, though the entry and exit doors were locked), Germany felt, right before he fell asleep, that something strange was about to happen. He fought off sleep, struggling valiantly to keep his eyes open for any sudden changes in the environment.
But there was nothing strange, going on right?
Prussia was sprawled out on his cell cot, sleeping like the dead, his snoring amplified by the lofty ceiling. Gilbird (who'd been allowed to stay with Prussia only because the little yellow bird would peck and scratch at anyone trying to take him away from Prussia) was nestled in Prussia's silvery-white hair, which had been appropriately mussed in order to make a suitable "nest" for the night. Hungary had taken the bed in the cell shared by herself and Austria, her ex-husband being chivalrous enough to give her the bed and sleep on the floor with his jacket serving as a pillow. Spain had fallen asleep in his own cell, and was muttering something about tomatoes. Feliciano was fast asleep against Germany's shoulder, mumbling in his sleep about pasta.
No, no, there was nothing strange going on here. He must be imagining things, that must be it. Germany relaxed slightly, and finally let his eyes close.
Everyone was in their cells, the lights were all off, the night shift was here, there was a man in a sparkly fairy princess tutu standing by his bed-
Wait, a man in a sparkly princess tutu?
Germany opened his eyes, and almost screamed in shock. Rome was looming over him, staring at him, a bizarre, almost creepy expression on his face, like something out of a horror movie. Dammit, why does he always show up like this, in zhe middle of zhe night like a creep!?
Fighting down the natural urge to yell, he hissed, "Vhat zhe hell are you doing here, you vierdo!?".
Rome grinned at him, reaching down to pat him on the head like a child. "I just wanted to see how one of my little grandsons is doing. I already checked on Roma earlier, they're so cute!"
The German nation glared at him, not at all amused. Pinching the bridge of his nose in an effort to help soothe his new headache, he looked the old empire in the eyes and growled, "Cut to zhe damn chase, Rome. Vhy zhe hell are you here? And how did you even get in?"
In response, Germany had, to his disbelief, a large, sparkling wand shoved in his face, the fist-sized glowing star shining like a lighthouse beacon. "Gott verdammt, put zhe damn thing away, or turn down zhe light already, you're blinding me! You're going to wake up zhe whole cellblock with that light! Do you want to attract zhe night shift!?"
Rome stared at him as if he was an idiot. "Heavens no, this is my Tomato Fairy Godfather wand! I took it out to convince you that I used it to get in here, this thing makes great disguises!"
Germany stared at him, confusion running rampant. Tomato Fairy Godfather wand...? Just what zhe hell was in zhe food I had for dinner here? Did somebody put drugs in it?
"I... Nevermind, just, if you're here, then help us get out, would you? I don't want anyone stuck here until our bosses find out and we end up in even more trouble."
He received a nod, as Rome grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "Don't worry, you'll be out of here in no time!"
A small, soft package was put in his hands, wrapped in a tomato-print handkerchief tied with a bow. "When the guard comes to check on you in the next few minutes, have him confiscate this. My little buddy inside this handkerchief will take care of the rest, and you and your fellow nations can grab the key-ring and unlock yourselves. I'll help you get out of the building from there."
Nodding, still rather skeptical, Germany decided to keep quiet and go along with the plan. It was better than listening to his brother's horrifically loud snoring, at any rate.
About ten minutes later, just like Rome had promised, one of the night shift guards walked up to the cell, peering in for a moment to see if anything had changed. The package from Rome was spotted instantly. "Hey, you, hand that over! You can't hide things in here!"
Fiercely quashing the urge to thank his new luck, Germany walked over, the little wrapped package in hand, and held it out. The bundle was instantly picked up by the guard, the handkerchief unknotted to check the contents.
Then all hell broke loose.
Inside the little square of soft fabric was a small, orange-sized greyish-white blob, with large golden brown eyes, a strange-looking dark brown, gravity-defying curl of dark brown "hair" on one side, and a scowling mouth, which promptly bit the guard's fingers very hard and caused him to drop the handkerchief, its contents, and the nightstick, yelling pained curses in Italian as he waved his injured digit around like it was on fire. Apparently, Rome's "little buddy" had quite the bite.
Still flailing about like a fish out of water, the guard, still distracted with his pain, failed to notice that he'd dropped his nightstick. Germany, however, did notice, and thus did the logical thing to help speed up the escape process.
His hand shot out between the bars of the cell, grabbing the nightstick. Instantly, he was on his feet, leaning as far forwards as he could, and promptly clocked the unfortunate guard in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious with an echoing crack. He dropped like a sack of wet sand onto the cellblock floor, completely out cold.
The sound of the guard being knocked out resounded throughout the cellblock, waking up Austria, Hungary, Spain, Prussia, and Feliciano. Prussia took notice instantly of nightstick in Germany's hand and the knocked out human on the floor, and let out a whoop of delight, rattling the bars and shouting gleefully, "HELL YEAH! JAILBREAK!". His fellow nations were a bit more sympathetic to the human's current state, giving a look of sympathy instead.
Without wasting any more time, Germany reached out his hands and pulled the unconscious guard towards his cell door by the sleeves of his uniform jacket. Within seconds, he'd managed to pull the key-ring off the man's belt and began testing the keys on it to see if they'd unlock his and Feliciano's cell. After a few moments of tinkering, the third key proved to be the lucky one, and with a sharp click, the cell door swung open.
Germany looked at Feliciano, still rubbing sleep out his eyes, and sighed in resignation. The Italian was picked up and carried piggyback, as Germany headed out his cell and began freeing the others. Hungary received a glare when she opened her mouth to comment on the sweet sight. Prussia smirked at him, ruby eyes glittering in amusement.
Gilbird was employed by a maniacally cackling Prussia to pick the exit door's lock system, leaving Prussia to look to his fellow nations and grin smugly. Austria merely gave him a disgusted look.
Just as the last lock opened at the nations began to file out of the now open door, Spain suddenly let of a yell of surprise and delight, doubling back to run over to the fallen handkerchief by the unconscious guard. He reappeared moments later, carrying the handkerchief and its bizarre blob occupant in his hands, cooing to the strange creature in Spanish. "He's so cute! I'm going to name him Little Lovi!"
Germany opened his mouth to question this, but decided, in the end, to keep quiet instead. Vell, I guess I've seen stranger...
The rest of the police station was deserted due to the lateness of the hour, save for a snoozing, rather fat guard sitting at a desk, his hat over his eyes to block out the ceiling light. The nations snuck past him silently, though Germany had to drag Prussia away by the arm to keep him from drawing on the sleeping man's face with a nearby black magic marker. After some more lockpicking thanks to Gilbird, Hungary and Spain got their respective frying pan and axe back.
When they got outside, a red, oversized Ferrari awaited them, the keys still in the ignition, along with a note taped to the dashboard saying only one sentence:
Get so much as a scratch on it, and I'll make you disappear. Cheers, Rome~
Germany rolled his eyes, getting into the car and making sure everyone had their seatbelts on. "Like I even vould get one scratch on it..."
A sudden screeching noise hit his ears, and he turned around in the driver's seat to see his idiot brother scratching THIS CAR'S VITAL REGIONS ARE NOW THE SOLE PROPERTY OF THE AWESOME PRUSSIA onto the door next to him, using a key that he'd obviously taken with him from the night guard's key-ring.
Gott verdammt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE "MANHUNT" GETS TO ROMANO'S HOUSE, AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Romano was humming quietly to himself, his knees covered in fresh, dark earth from an afternoon spent, quite pleasantly so far, in his tomato garden. Amato, who had been brought with him (Romano wouldn't admit it, but he felt uncomfortable leaving Amato in the house all alone), had taken a leaf out of his "Mama's" book, and had ended up taking a late afternoon siesta, although unlike Romano, the little creature was quite happy to snooze away in the tomato-collecting basket, curled up under Romano's snack handkerchief, and snore like a tiny foghorn.
There was a light summer breeze, and the air was warm, but not overly hot like before. There were no trees in his tomato garden to offer shade, but the day hadn't reached a point where it was unbearable to be outside. The Southern Italian sighed, for once content.
Today's not so bad. At least it's not so damn hot out. Now, where did I put my tomato basket?
Upon reaching into the basket for another tomato snack, Romano accidently picked up Amato instead, causing the tiny creature to wake up, and upon seeing his "Mama", start cooing and nuzzling his fingers immediately. Romano felt the edges of his mouth curve upwards into a slight grin, fingers reaching up to pet Amato.
In the distance, the ringing of the house doorbell could be heard, echoing like the clanging of a church bell. A faint humming noise could be heard as well, like a motor running.
Dammit, I'm actually having a good day, and then idiots come knocking at my door. I'd better got scare them off my property...
Sighing, he gathered up the tomato basket, placing Amato inside and instructing him to hide under the handkerchief "because I don't want you to be seen by stupid people", and went to answer the unwelcome house call.
I swear to God, if my idiot fratello brought the Potato Bastard here, I'm banning him from coming back here ever again.