Clarke accepted the drink Raven handed her, smiling at the other girl in thanks right before she took a sip. Captain and Coke…a little heavy on the Captain, just the way she liked it.

Her hips swayed unconsciously from side to side, keeping time to the music as she glanced around the bar, still sipping her drink.

She smiled when her eyes landed on Bellamy, who was currently engaged in a game of pool with Miller and Bryan. It only took a few seconds for him to return her gaze from the other side of the room. His lips quirked upward when he noticed her loose movements and serenely happy expression; he knew it meant she was in her perfectly buzzed happy place. His eyebrows raised in a silent question, asking if she needed anything.

She just continued to beam at him, holding her glass up in a toast.

He chuckled, giving her a half-assed version of a two-fingered salute before turning away to take his turn at the pool table.

Clarke's mellow mood was abruptly interrupted when someone grabbed her elbow, almost making her spill her drink, but the minute she turned and saw that Harper was the culprit, her indignation turned back into joy.

"Harper!"

The other blonde grinned, taking her hand and pulling. "Come on! Dance with me and Maya!"

Sure enough, the petite brunette was standing behind Harper, looking a little more reserved, but eager, nonetheless.

Clarke held up a finger. "Hang on," she said, tilting her head back as she downed the rest of her drink, then plunked the empty glass down on the table. "Okay!"

She walked with the other two girls to the dance floor, immediately picking up the beat of the song and moving accordingly.

They danced as well as any drunk and mostly uncoordinated people do, but they were having a blast, which was all they cared about.

Clarke moved from her current dancing spot, back-to-back with Harper, to grab Maya by the hands, jumping around and pulling with alternating arms, doing the sort of dancing she'd probably last done in middle school.

Clarke was giggling as she again looked over at the pool table and saw Bellamy leaning on his cue stick, watching them fondly, a grin on his face.

She felt a little ridiculous…and she also felt ridiculously happy.

She was cognizant enough to realize that it wasn't just the alcohol making her feel that way; in all reality it had very little to do with it. She was just happy. She had a great job that she loved, she was rebuilding a decent relationship with her mother, she had amazing friends, old and new, and she had Bellamy, who played so many different roles in her life, but mostly, he just made everything better.

Clarke thought back to this time last year…even this time six or seven months ago…and she couldn't believe she got to be this lucky.

If she was honest, there was one person that she needed to thank properly for helping her get here, and she almost couldn't believe her eyes when she turned and saw him leaning against the bar.

Impulsively, she left the dance floor, heading over to him. When she stepped up beside him, she noticed he was talking to someone she vaguely remembered from undergrad.

Finn clasped the other man on the shoulder, nodding in Clarke's direction and asking for a minute of privacy.

The other man nodded at Clarke, then picked up his beer and joined a group gathered around the other end of the bar.

"Clarke," Finn said by way of greeting, looking both surprised and pleased to see her.

"Hey," she said, smiling a little shyly at him.

"What's up? Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I…" Clarke paused, biting her lip as she tried to decide how to proceed. "I need to thank you for what you did."

Finn was shaking his head before she even finished her sentence. "No, you don't, Clarke. Plus, you already did, and you didn't need to then either."

"No, I need to do it properly. I know I've been really…rude and standoffish since…everything happened with Raven." She held up a hand. "Which, to be fair, you totally deserved, by the way."

Finn chuckled, but without much humor. "Yeah, I really did."

Clarke gave him a pointed look of agreement. "But, my point is…You didn't have to help me, especially after the way I'd behaved."

He was again shaking his head. "Clarke…I'm a doctor. You know that's what we do."

She put her hand on his arm, which was resting on the bar. "You risked your job for me, Finn. That was above and beyond. And…I could tell that you genuinely cared about me."

"Of course I do, Clarke. But what brought this up now?"

Clarke shrugged, smiling a little. "I just had some sort of epiphany about how good my life is now…how happy I am. I couldn't even imagine it six months ago. And…I wouldn't be here…I wouldn't have the chance to have all this if it weren't for you."

Finn continued to look at her a little unsurely.

"I'm serious. You saved my life. And waking up to you and Octavia, both worried as hell about me and trying to hide me from my mother…" Clarke paused, chuckling a little at that memory. "It made me realize that there were still good people in this world, and that I did still have people who cared about me. I'm not kidding when I say that made all the difference. I thought…" She glanced away, looking down at the ring his drink had left on the bar. "I thought maybe I was too far gone at that point."

Finn's free hand came up to rest on her shoulder. "Clarke…never. You'll always have people who care about you, me included."

"I know that now. So…like I said," she grinned up at him. "Thank you."

They both moved forward, sharing a friendly hug.

Finn pulled back a few inches, looking down at her while his arms were still around her back. "I'm never going to convince you to take me back, am I?" he asked dejectedly, as if he already knew the answer.

Clarke smiled back at him a little sadly. For all the hell he'd put her through, they had been close and he had meant a lot to her, once upon a time. "No."

He nodded. "I was an idiot, but…"

Clarke tilted her head a little. "But what?"

He shrugged. "How was I supposed to choose?"

Clarke just stared at him for a moment before she started laughing. "Okay. Fair point."

One corner of his mouth quirked up. "You don't hate me anymore?"

Clarke shook her head.

"I can live with that," he said, pulling her back to give her a final hug.

They both jumped a little when an angry voice spoke from right beside them. "You know, I always knew you were a son of a bitch, but trying to take advantage of a girl while she's drunk? Especially when you know she wants nothing to do with you? That's a new low, even for you, Spacewalker."

Clarke quickly turned her head, seeing Bellamy standing just a few feet beside her, glaring at Finn.

She immediately turned toward him. "Bellamy…"

He didn't even look at her, his glare remaining on the man beside her. "And you've always tried to convince her you still love her. Is this how you treat women you love, Spacewalker? Make moves while they're drunk? Well, I guess we already knew how you treat the women you claim to love, don't we?"

Clarke felt Finn tense beside her and, okay, that one was a low blow. True…but a low blow, nonetheless.

"You might want to check with your girlfriend, Blake. She's the one that came to me, not the other way around."

Clarke didn't even have time to process the 'girlfriend' comment, because Bellamy's eyes swung accusatorily toward her with Finn's pronouncement.

His eyes searched her face for a moment, no doubt seeing the truth written there, as well as noticing that she looked fairly sober by now. "Why?" he asked, clearly confused.

Finn couldn't resist adding in a final jab at the man he'd never liked. "You know, Clarke, I understand why you can't take me back, I do. But you can do so much better than this Neanderthal."

Clarke put a hand on Bellamy's chest, stopping him before he could take another step forward. "Jesus Christ. Can you two stop being so…testosteroney?" She couldn't help adding, under her breath, "I should've stuck to girls."

"What was that?" Bellamy asked, looking at her oddly.

"Nothing," Clarke said quickly. "Are you two done?" she asked both men.

They both grumbled.

"Okay, great. Finn, stop being an ass. Bellamy was just trying to protect me, and you know that." She waited for Finn to mumble what she assumed was an affirmative before turning to look at Bellamy. "And, yes, I came over here to talk to Finn."

"Why?!"

Clarke sighed, deciding it was time to let the final cat out of the bag. "Let's go outside."

She nodded a goodbye to Finn before leading Bellamy out the door and down the sidewalk a few feet so they weren't right in front of the entrance.

Bellamy didn't even wait for her to turn around before asking, "What's going on, Clarke? I thought you hated the guy?"

Clarke slowly turned around to face him. "I…no. Not really…Not anymore, at least."

Bellamy looked dismayed. "But…what he did…to you and to Raven…how can you…?"

She quickly cut him off, shaking her head adamantly. "Bell, it's not…romantic. It's not about that, I promise."

He looked slightly relieved, but still confused. "Then what?"

"I needed to thank him. Properly."

"For what?!"

Clarke took a deep breath, turning her head to look at the bricks beside her. A shiver worked its way through her, and she wasn't sure if it was the chill in the air or the knowledge that what she was about to say could ruin this new life of happiness she'd just been celebrating.

Bellamy must have noticed her shiver, because he immediately shrugged off his green flannel shirt, putting it around her shoulders. "You're scaring me here, Princess."

Clarke put her arms into the sleeves, gratefully pulling it on over the black sweater she was wearing. "You're going to freeze," she told him, nodding toward the thin grey long-sleeved t-shirt he was wearing.

"I'm fine," he said, in a no-nonsense tone that told her he wasn't about to be distracted from the point of their conversation.

Clarke bit her bottom lip, her hands unconsciously balling into fists as she gathered as much courage as she could to tell the man she loved most in the world her deepest darkest secret, all the while knowing it was going to break his heart. "He saved my life," she finally admitted.

Bellamy's brow furrowed, some of his confusion turning to worry. "What? How?"

"I…" Clarke looked up, already having to will the tears away. "I OD'd."

It took a few seconds before she finally convinced herself to look at him.

The expression on his face was one she had never seen before. It was some mixture of disbelief, sadness, and actual physical pain.

She reached a hand out towards him. "Bell…"

He recoiled. "Just…tell me. All of it," he said gruffly.

"I…" Clarke wrapped her arms around herself protectively before continuing. "I took some pills…and then we were drinking and partying and…I forgot, and took some more pills." She swallowed heavily, glancing at the stop sign across the street. "I ended up passed out on the bathroom floor." She heard an involuntary noise of horror come from Bellamy, but she kept going. "Murphy found me and took me to the hospital. Finn was working in the ER when we got there."

She paused, taking a few deep breaths as she shuffled her feet, looking at them instead of the man in front of her. "He…took care of me." She risked a glance at Bellamy.

He was shaking his head. "Everything."

Yeah, Clarke was afraid he was going to say that. "My heart rate was low, breathing was shallow, and I was drifting in and out of consciousness. I had to have my stomach pumped."

She paused again, chancing another glance at him. His jaw was set and he was staring at a point over her shoulder.

She continued, "I had to stay in the hospital for a while after so my vitals could be monitored and I could get IV fluids. I was half out of it, but I kept telling Finn that my mom couldn't know I was there. It was her hospital and Finn was still an intern…he could have gotten fired…but he tried to hide me anyway. Kept me marked down as a Jane Doe, moved me to different rooms when my mom was doing rounds. After a few hours, he got worried about me being there alone…" Clarke braced herself for the next blow she was about to deal. "…so he called Octavia."

Bellamy's eyes flicked to hers. "O?" he asked, his voice a little strangled.

Clarke nodded. "He didn't know we weren't talking. He thought she was still my best friend…which I guess she was, because she showed up fifteen minutes later."

"That's when you two…" he finally moved, pacing agitatedly in front of her. "Fuck."

Clarke's heart broke a little at the pain in his voice. She knew he wasn't just feeling pain for himself right now, but also for his little sister. "She sat with me all night. When I finally woke up…we talked. We talked about everything."

Bellamy waited a minute before speaking. "Is there more?"

Clarke sighed, deciding to give him the brief summary of the time between her hospital stay and when she'd come back into his life. "My mom eventually found us. I made her promise not to punish Finn. She took me home and took care of me, and Octavia visited every day for a week. I…made her promise not to tell you."

She couldn't tell for sure whether the look on Bellamy's face was one of disappointment or betrayal. "Don't be mad at her," she said quietly.

He just nodded, lips pursed.

"I got better, started talking to my mom again, started my internship in July…then Octavia convinced me to text Raven, who invited me to game night. You know the rest."

He just nodded again, jaw still locked.

Clarke studied his face, willing him to do something…to say something. "Bell…talk to me." She couldn't help herself, she reached out to touch him.

He again moved before she could. "I just…" He put his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. "I need some time, Clarke."

With that, he turned, walking down the street.

Clarke watched him go, her heart breaking more and more with each step he took away from her.

She sat down against the outside wall of the bar, curling up on herself as she tried not to cry.

Part of her expected Murphy to pop out of the shadows, like he had last time, but apparently she wasn't even that lucky tonight.

She was alone, and it was all her fault. She'd done the one thing that Bellamy most likely could never forgive.