Do you know the feeling, when your heart is beating so fast that you can literally hear it. You can feel it pulsing trough your body, adrenaline running in your veins.

I've never been this afraid. Not when I first came across a werewolf. Not when my heart was failing and I was good as dead. Not in hell. To be honest, I'm not sure why I am this scared. I shouldn't be, I don't want to be but I am. I, Dean Winchester am scared shitless.

We are at Bobby's as we were before. We have to leave in three hours to the closest cemetery where we will perform the spell. Why it has to be done in a cemetery full of dead corpses, I don't know, and I don't care. As long as the dead doesn't start walking I'm fine. I am sitting in the sofa of Bobby's living room trying to make sure we have every single ingredient right. Sammy is rehearsing the spell itself because unfortunately it needs to be chanted by 'blood relative of the one who the spell is casted on'. I never wanted to involve Sammy but with his young age he is trusting and willing to do things without getting the whole answer. My first choice would've been John but we'd be good as dead as he is so damn stubborn about things he does not believe in, so unfortunately Sammy it is.

Sammy of course is not doing the spell alone, he is just the one who reads it out loud . Bobby burns all the ingredients and Castiel draws some runes on my chest. My part is to lay on a grass in front of 'a worn, century old grave' and keep my eyes closed and imagine the year 2015 and to wish physically being there. It should be easy, right?

We eat, relax a bit and the hours slowly ticks by. One hour left. Sammy is still rehearsing. Bobby is researching and Castiel is staring out of a window. I get up. "Hey Cas could I talk to you about something, in private?", I say as I get in front of Castiel. He nods and we make our way to the guest room. I sit down on the bed, while Cas stands. "How does this all affect the future, the past?", I say a bit quieter than I was meaning to.

"The spell", Cas starts and rubs his temple. "is ancient and a rare spell, I only have once heard about it before.", Cas sits down. "The first time it was created and used was to send angles to stop demons rising from hell. As it was foreseen that it would happen. In that time your destiny was not relevant, not yet. So the spell was actually the reason your future became important because that was what created the seals which were eventually broken as you know", Castiel says still rubbing his temple as if trying to remember better. I look at him and say.

"Why this is the first time I'm hearing about this?", Castiel looks into my eye with his piercingly blue eyes. "And what does this have to do with what I asked?"

Castiel takes in a breath, collecting himself. " As we are using this spell now it creates a crack in time. Time where all of this what has happened here gets sucked into. Sammy won't remember a thing, you won't remember a thing. No one will remember. Your past is intact. Your future and your today is the same it was before. Everything that happened to you before this, has happened.", "So", I interrupt. "It's like this never happened, I will forget?"

"No, not really", Castiel says, "When you get back you will remember, Sammy will remember, everyone will remember. You getting back will make the crack disappear." I get up brushing my hand through my hair. "Cas you are not really making any sense, I don't understand.", Cas gets up also. "First you say that I will forget and then suddenly I will remember."

"Dean you know that I am not the same as I was before. My grace is broken. I don't remember everything and some things don't make sense. I'm better than I was a month ago but I'm still not fully better.", Cas seems visibly frustrated, "I can just say that you will understand when you get back to the year 2015." I did not get the answer I needed but I let it go. Cas is clearly tired and troubled by the fact that he cannot verbalize his thoughts.

"Okay", I say tiredly, I look at the angel who has saved me millions of times. He has changed, yes, but he is still the same Cas I know. "Thank you Cas."

It is the time to get the shit on the road. We all sit in one of Bobby's cars. Tension and doubt is filling the air. Thirty minutes left till I get back or die. I really hope it doesn't come to the latter. It should go fine. It will go fine, I assure myself, failing completely. I have my fears. About the spell, future, past, Sammy, to be honest about every single thing. I don't even know why the demons want me gone.

The drive wasn't long. I look at my phone and on the screen reads with bright letters. 23.45. I've got 15 minutes to go. we got 5 minutes to find the grave and ten left to do the spell. We are so to say on a tight schedule.

Sammy is the one who finds the grave of an old pastor called Jonahtan Erik Bridgen who died at the age of 63. We don't know the date he died or was born. Cause the gravestone was so damaged that it was almost impossible to figure out his name but Sammy wanted to know whom peace we are interrupting.

10 minutes. I lay down on the dead grass in front of the pastor Bridgen's grave. I close my eyes and imagine the year 2015 which is kind of hard as the year was 2014 when I was last there. But I do so nonetheless. A wind whirls and it is chilly as I lay there without a shirt. I hear as Sammy starts to read the spell. His voice is shooting somehow. I feel the cold paint as Cas starts drawing the runes. My concentration falters but I get it on line quickly. I hear how the ingredients that Bobby sets on fire are crackling. It all smudges into together. Sammy's voice, the fire, chilly wind and cold paint. I seize.

It's a vision. But not of Sam. I see nothing, just blackness. Suddenly there is a very bright light. I cover my eyes with my hands as it is so blinding. "Dean Winchester.", I hear a tender voice. "I've heard a lot about you.", I try to swallow a lump that forms in my throat." Good I hope", I say unintentionally. I hear a chuckle. "Good and bad.", it says. "You are using my spell.", it states.

"Your spell?", I ask bluntly, "Who are you?", The figure comes closer and I see it clearer now. It's a woman. Woman with a bright red hair and piercing green eyes. She only wears something that looks like a nightgown. "You don't need to know who I am Dean, you will just know me as the creator of the spell you are using.", she says voice stern. "And yes, my spell. I'm actually glad that you are using it because Dean Winchester after this, you owe me one.", she says amusement coating the words.

"I owe you nothing", I say voice full of venom. The woman walks closer and I tense up. Ready to fight if it comes to it. "Oh dear, you will, because the spell does not work unless I give it the power to do so.", she is just only few steps away from me now. "And if I don't, you and your friends, including you baby brother will burn in hell.", she smiles wickedly, "And I don't want to cause unnecessary death Dean, so I'm willing to let you use my spell.", She says touching my face with her palm.

"But at what cost?", I blurt out. She laughs. "The cost is least of your worries, Dean", She looks over her shoulder, "Oops, your friends are in trouble, better hurry." She snaps her fingers and the visions ends.

I am laying on the grass. I hear voice saying, "Tic tock, tic tock, Winchester, I am afraid your time has ran out." What we still have time left, right? I try to get up but it's like I'm paralyzed. "Stay still Dean we have to finish the spell.", I hear Castiel grunt. I also hear Sammy screaming the words of the spell. Bobby's job is done so he is ready to fight with the demon if it attacks. "We still have minute left, Dean we will make it.", Castiel says as he draws the last of the runes. I was out of it the whole time? I have to concentrate on the spell. 2015 I want to get into 2015.

I hear how Bobby is cursing loudly. I hear punches being thrown. I hear how Sammy screams for help. But I'm unable to do anything. The ground starts to shake violently. My eyes are closed but I can see through my eyelids a burning hot light which quickly as it appeared turns into black. Why did I get Sammy into this mess? What if he's hurt because me. My head spins. I feel like the ground has disappeared from beneath me. I'm floating. But the woman said, she wanted no death. So, I pray in the name of Castiel that they are alright and that the woman spoke the truth.

I wake up surrounded by beeping. I'm laying down on something soft but uncomfortable. I have something in my throat. I panic. I can't breath. The beeping gets louder and I hear running footsteps. "Mr. Smith is awake!", a man's voice shouts. More footsteps. What the fuck? Smith? "Dean, Dean can you hear me?", the man says to me, "If you can squeeze my hand.", I feel him putting his hand onto mine, I squeeze. "Okay good, Dean I need you to calm down. You have breathing tube in your throat, we need to get it out but we can't do it if you are not calm.", the man says. Don't you fucking see that I am calm as I fucking can be. Please would that fucker just take the fricking tube out. In no more than three minutes the tube is out and I can breath on my own.

I try to open my heavy eyelids but I can't open them fully. I am in a hospital, I finally register. Panic rises upon my chest. Did we fail? Oh dear God did we fail. But why would I be in hospital then? Shouldn't I be in hell?

I finally get my heavy eyes to open fully and the man is there. "What happened?", I slur. "Where's Sammy?", The doctor checks my vitals. "Dean you were in an accident with you brother Sam, do you remember that?", he says calmly. No I don't fucking remember any accident but he doesn't need to know that. "Yeah, I think so.", I say voice dry. Water would be fucking nice. "Is he okay?", I quickly add.

"Your brother is fine, he only suffered a broken arm and a cracked rib and he is all healed now.", he says, "But you Dean, how do I put this. You've been in a coma."

"Coma?", I echo. "For how long." The doctor adjusts the IV. "Next week it would've been a year.", "I know this is shocking for you but everything I going to be alright.", The man glances at his clock and says, "I'm sorry Dean, I've got to go see other patients. The nurses will be checking on you and your brother is on his way." The doctor leaves the room and I am left alone.

I've been subjected to a lot of tests before I were allowed to see Sam. I don't know what year it is and I've been afraid to ask. I guess I will find out when I see Sam. I hope it is Sam not Sammy cause if it is Sammy it means we failed but if it is Sam it means we didn't.

Sam walks in. Sam. My full grown adult Sam. I feel relieved. I got my brother back. I got back. We hug. We talk, talk and talk.

Apparently Sam has memories of the time I time traveled. He says the memories started popping up a week ago. So they really happened but the spell blocked it all out from everyone's memories for all this time. "But I was in a coma?", I ask still confused about the whole coma situation. "Well everything was kind of messed up. Your kid self was in your adult body and he kind of tried to run away and we ended up in a car accident, where you slipped into a coma.", Sam says shrugging. "I was really worried for you but Castiel made me think rationally and then he got a bit of his grace back and remembered the ancient spell and he somehow got back there and here you are now.", he rambles. "Oh okay, but where is he?", I ask, a bit worried for the angel. Sammy chuckles. "He is suffering a giant headache, the memories hit him hard.", "He can't believe that he rebelled the way he did back then. But I can see that he is proud of the old him for it.", he says. I smile. Cas is truly amazing.

This is amazing. I'm back where I belong.

My rehabilitation took a while as my body had been in a coma for a year, so I had to work hard to get back to my old physical condition. The doctors were amazed of my process and the lack of brain damage. They weren't sure that I would ever wake up and the doctors had said to Sam that if I did, I would probably be badly handicapped for the rest of my life. Wheelchair bound, brain barely just functioning. But there I was surprising everyone with my capabilities. I was a medical miracle, so to speak.

I begged to Sam to brake me out of there but he was stern. He didn't want to let me leave the hospital until all of the doctors said that I was good to go. But all they fucking wanted to do tests upon tests. Brain scans, MRI's. But finally Sam saw how ridiculous all of the unnecessary testing were and he singed the release papers against the doctors recommendation's.

And off we went on to the road. I finally could drive impala.

I was back on my game. Saving people, hunting things, the family business. Sam and Castiel by my side, I was happy as I could be.

But there are some things that keeps me up at night.

My dad and the way he treated me in the past. Thinking that I was some lunatic.

Doctor Lawson. What happened to him?

Later tough I found out what happened to him. He and his wife got divorced. The children went with the mother and Michael was left alone. He finally got admitted into a psychiatric ward after he started showing signs of paranoid schizophrenia and ended up stabbing a man with a silver knife, claiming that he was a werewolf. My chest felt heavy. That man's life got ruined, because of me. Michael Lawson died in the hospital, year 2008, cause of death- suicide.

It still keeps me up at night. There is one more innocent person on my list. I killed him. I killed Michael Lawson. His death is my fault.

And one more thing that is nagging my brain. The woman. The woman with the green yes and red hair. She said that I owe her. I wonder if she'll come one day, collecting what she needs.

I'm waiting though. She can come but I'll be ready for her.

Castiel got his grace fully back.

We are living our live as we did before. Hunting things that cause harm.

Life is the same but with just new memories.

I'm finally and fully back at home.

So. That was the last chapter. I hope you liked it and the ending wasn't too disappointing. I want to thank you all for bearing with me till the end. I'm really thankful of you!

If anything was unclear or you just want to know something, just ask and comment, I will try to answer to you, the best I can.

And if you were wondering why I didn't put any notification or warnings as I have done in any other chapter. Well I thought they were not necessary as I think you've got the memo.

I don't know when or if I will write fanfics again but if I do I hope some of you are willing to read those also.

Really thank you all.

I'm out.