A/N: Sorry for the delay, dear friends! I was gone on vacation for a few weeks, and have had trouble getting back into the swing of things. Here's an extra-long chapter as penance. Please R&R! Thanks!
...
Barton cradled his young friend carefully away from the improvised conference table and lay her back down on the couch she had just shared with Sif. He smoothed back her still-damp hair and then checked her pulse and respiration.
Both were steady.
"How is she," murmured Natasha from his elbow?
He started: Nat had managed to sneak up on him again. Barton passed a hand over his face and sighed.
"Fine, I think. She probably just fainted; her vitals seem stable. It was probably just the shock of..." He leveled a murderous glare across the room at the Dark Prince of Asgard, who caught the glare and smirked in return. "Bastard. If he lays another hand on her I swear I'll shoot him in the eye."
"You really care about her, don't you?" Tasha seemed surprised.
Clint ran a calloused hand through the damp locks again. "She's like my baby sister, Nat. I never really had a family; you know that. Her dad...when me an' Coulson recruited her...he welcomed us like we were family. I promised him I'd look out for her," he explained. He glanced over at Loki again and his face went cold. "I'll be damned if I stand by and let that magical rat-bastard twist her head inside out. Not on my watch," he growled.
"He can't use his magic against her, Clint."
The archer's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"I've been talking with Sif all morning. The chains Loki wears aren't just for looks, Clint. His magic is bound, and so is his mouth. He can't work black magic at all, and can't lie to her either."
Clint scowled. "There's more than one way to lie..."
"And Loki is magically prevented from doing it. From what Sif said, Papa Odin is one serious bad-ass when it comes to magic. Face it, Clint. Right now Loki is probably more honest than Fury, and you work for him."
"I still won't trust him with her," he said, looking down at the drawn young face.
"Do you trust her?" Nat raised an eyebrow and looked at the archer pointedly.
"What? Hell, yeah!" Clint gave Nat an open-faced scowl. "What kind of question is that?"
Nat leaned forward. "Then let her make up her own mind," she said softly. "She isn't a child anymore, Hawkeye. The eaglet left the nest long ago."
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Thor scowled across the table. Loki seemed insufferably pleased with himself for some reason, and whether it was kissing the girl or realizing the target of the Mad Titan's affections was his own daughter, Thor could not tell. The revelation, at least, might help them a little.
"Do you think Hel will aid us, brother?" Thor shot sternly across the table to where Loki sat gloating. "This is technically not her fight."
Loki looked thoughtful for a moment, and then nodded.
"I believe she can be persuaded, yes. It depends on how she is asked. You must remember she is a queen and goddess in her own right, and will expect to be petitioned as such," he replied. "It goes without saying that she will expect to be compensated for her assistance."
"This is a noble cause," Thor said darkly. "Surely she will see reason, or can be made to see..."
"And that, brother dear, is one reason you are not her favorite uncle," Loki snapped. "That, and the fact that your father cast her into the underworld for the crime of being my child."
"She has a favorite uncle?" Fury looked curious.
"My half-brother Baldr," Thor said flatly. "He spent some time in Hel's realm, before being redeemed by Odin. He still won't speak of the experience."
"Can't say as I blame him," mused Volstagg.
"It would seem an Asgardian should not be the one to petition her royal majesty," the Arch-Bishop suggested.
"Aesir," corrected Thor, Loki, Sif, Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun all at once.
"We don't use the term 'Asgardian', your Grace," Loki explained.
"My apologies," the old man countered. "An Aesir, then, should not go. This is our planet we are fighting to protect, is it not? Let one of us petition her Majesty for her assistance, and offer her some sort of compensation for her help in protecting our world," the old man countered, spreading his hands for effect.
"That makes sense," Tony nodded.
"How can we compensate a woman who is already a queen in her own world?" Steve wondered.
"Oh, right," Tony scowled. "It isn't likely she'll fall for flowers, chocolates, and promises we don't intend to keep."
"That's romance, Stark, not intergalactic negotiation," Steve pointed out.
"Like you would know," muttered the billionaire. *cough*Virgin*cough*
The Arch Bishop cleared his throat. "The usual gifts presented to a monarch in such situations have been titles, treasure, or real estate," he informed the group, "or some combination of the three. If there is something else she is interested in, that could be settled during the negotiation phase."
"Assuming she would consent to come, then," Fury began, then caught the scathing look Loki shot him and raised his hands, "best-case scenario, I mean. If we assume that she consents to come to the Earth, so that Thanos doesn't destroy it, what then? Even if she convinces this Titan to spare the planet, that doesn't mean he'll leave it in one piece, or in peace at all. What then?"
"Bringing her majesty here is a stalling tactic at best, then," Volstagg nodded. "Bait, perhaps, but not a solution."
"And what if she decides to side with him?" Dr. Banner added. "Is there any guarantee she doesn't already favor him, since he kills in her name?"
Loki shook his head. "Thanos is, like most despots, at least slightly insane. While it is true he crushes planets, so far all of them have been outside of my daughter's jurisdiction. She has authority over the dishonored and peacefully dead of the Nine Realms only. Thanos has not filled her coffers nor provided her with tithes with all his slaughter. He only feeds himself. She is unlikely to find such attractive in a man."
Pepper raised her eyebrows at the God of Mischief. "Exactly what does she find attractive in a man?"
Loki opened his mouth and raised a finger, then dropped his hand, closed his mouth, and looked thoughtful. "I confess, I do not know. It has been a few centuries since we spoke," he admitted.
Tony snorted. "Some father you are. You never call, you never write..." Pepper whacked him on the head, and he shut up.
Loki gave Tony a strained look. "A century to us is a few years in your reckoning, Stark. You forget the scale of our lives compared to your insect-like spans."
Pepper frowned. "So, effectively, we'll be asking Hel to save Odin's butterfly collection, and she already hates the old man," she mused.
"Exactly."
Tony slumped in his chair. "Back to screwed," he muttered.
"Not necessarily," Bruce offered. "Prince Loki said she may be persuaded to help us. We just need to make the promised gift impressive enough, and I have an idea. What is Niflheimr like?"
The Aesir looked around the table at each other before Thor finally spoke. "Niflheimr is a world of mist and ice, much like Jotunheimr, but with 9 frozen rivers flowing through it. It is dank and cold, and filled with ferocious beasts. The most fearsome of these is the great Dragon Fafnir, who feeds on the carcasses of the dead. Hel conquered him when she took over the realm, so he sits chained, but feasts every day on the wailing dead."
"Hel's halls are said to be vast," Sif spoke up from across the table. "She herself does not feed on carrion, as does the dragon. She orders the dead to their rightful places of rest, and keeps her halls clean and tidy, as a Queen should. She has a few living servants, as well, to keep her halls and wait on her."
"Ok, so, not a cheery place," Tony sat forward and looked pointedly at Dr. Banner. "Doc, I think I know where you are going with this, but please continue."
"Thanks, Tony. I propose we find a suitable island get-away for her Majesty, and offer it to her as a permanent vacation home. Fill it with flowers and colorful birds and such, and make certain she has comfort and privacy for whenever she wishes to go there," Banner concluded.
Loki looked thoughtful. "That...just might work, yes. Now all we have to do is get your ambassador to Niflheimr." He scowled again.
"Why do I sense a 'but', your majesty?" asked the Arch Bishop.
Loki grimaced. "Niflheimr is the realm of the Dead, not the living. Any ambassador you send must die to get there."
"But you said she has living servants," Pepper protested.
Loki sighed. "Yes, but they are a small group of personally selected individuals; Hel recruits them herself. Without her explicit action and grace only I-or an Aesir riding Sleipnir-can cross her boarders alive."
"Sleipnir exists?" Tasha asked, looking amazed as she rejoined the group at the table.
"Of course Sleipnir exists," Thor shrugged as if the topic of an 8-legged stallion was totally normal. "He is my father's personal charger."
"Then is he really Loki's..." Clint started as he took his seat. Behind him, Sauer had awakened from her feint and was squinting at a tabloid.
"Yes," Loki said flatly, closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair.
"Awkward," said Dr. Banner.
"Not at all, Doctor," Loki answered, his eyes still closed. "I managed to release the Aesir from a wager they did not want to pay without actually violating their contract. The problem was legally and honorably solved, and Sleipnir was the result. Thor's solution to the problem was to simply murder the giant." He cracked an eye open and glared at the blond god. "Of course, you could have done that first and saved me 24 months discomfort, but nooooooooo..."
Thor scowled over at Loki. "You would fault me for your decision, now?"
"Getting back to the topic at hand," Dr. Banner said loudly. "Would it be possible for an Aesir to take a human delegate on horseback?"
Volstagg cleared his throat. "These pups likely don't remember that only two have actually made the journey and returned: Heimdall All-Seer, who guards the Bifrost, and Hermóðr, Odin's youngest son and page. Heimdall is currently scanning all the known worlds for any trace of the Mad Titan; he cannot be released from duty. Hermóðr has been forbidden to make the journey again by Odin; his next visit would be a permanent one. Furthermore, even on Sleipnir the journey is an 18 day round trip. We cannot afford to waste more than a fortnight for one branch of negotiations."
"So," Fury said slowly, "someone has to die in order to save the planet. Just who do we sacrifice for this?" he said dryly, looking about the room.
"The death would not have to be permanent," Bruce offered. "If we induce controlled versions of hypothermia and cardiac arrest into the chosen subject, we could technically bring him or her back within a half-hour or so with minimal brain damage. That might be enough time to relay a message to her Majesty," he suggested.
"Been there, done that," Cap said wryly. "Never saw her."
"You were suspended, Cap. Not dead," Fury corrected.
"Not that it matters," the Arch-Bishop intervened. "Both the Captain and I are excluded from this project. Our God would intervene: neither of us would reach Niflheimr. The same fate would befall any Christian who made the attempt, as well as any Jew or-possibly-Muslim believer."
Dr. Banner frowned. "I'm out too," he said pensively. "I'm not certain I can die, and it would be disastrous for anybody to try and make that happen."
"I just got rid of my extra shrapnel as well as my pacemaker," Tony mused, shaking his head. "I don't think I can afford the risk."
"I could..." Pepper started, but Tony grabbed her hand.
"Absolutely not," he said softly, looking her steadily in the eyes. "I've almost lost you too many times as it is."
"Well," Tasha said, leaning forward and paling a little, "I don't actually have superpowers or tech, but..."
"I'll go," said a masculine voice: a masculine voice that spoke from a shadow near the room's entrance, where he had stood since delivering the Arch-Bishop .
Harold "Happy" Hogan stepped out of the shadows.
"I'll go," he said again, looking his boss in the eye.
"Happy," Tony croaked, "I can't ask you..."
"Then don't," Tony's chauffeur said. "You don't have to ask me anything, Mr. Stark. This is my planet, too. I want to help, and you're needed here," he said firmly. "I'll go."
The Avengers sat at the table, stunned. Nobody had even noticed the chauffeur standing in the shadows until he had spoken, and now, when they all found reasons...excuses...to not face Queen Hel, he had volunteered to go.
To die.
"Well spoken, sir," Hogun said softly, a light mist forming in his eyes.
"What do I gotta do?" Happy asked uncertainly, "other than the dying and maybe coming back part. That much I caught. I ain't never been an ambassador before."
"SIddown, Happy," Stark rasped, pointing to a chair on his right, "we're still figuring that out."
"It is not complicated," Loki said coldly. "We need to work out a basic script for your squire, which can be implanted hypnotically. I will stand next to him as the lethal voltage is applied and teleport to Hel's throne room. We will arrive together, which will prevent Mr. ..." Loki gave Stark a questioning look.
"Harold Hogan," Happy replied stiffly.
"Harold Hogan-thank you-from getting lost in the general population or eaten by Fafnir. Do you wish to take anything with you? If it is of a reasonable size, I could carry it with me," Loki offered.
"Like a formal copy of the treaty in writing?" Dr. Banner spoke up again.
Loki nodded. "A practical suggestion."
Happy cleared his throat. "I would like to take Her Majesty something, too. Boss," he turned to Tony Stark, "we still have a Godiva's in the lobby, don't we? Do you think they could set us up with a 100-lb box for the occasion?"
Tony Stark frowned and stroked his goatee. "I see where you're going with this, Happy, but the fate of the planet is at stake here. I don't think we had better settle for Godiva's this time."
"Knipschildt Chocopologie?" Pepper asked, intrigued. "Norwalk isn't that far away. We could take the helicopter there and back again in just under 2 hours. Of course, a hundred pounds with almost no notice is unheard of, but I can get Fritz on the phone right now and see what he could whip up."
"What's Chocopologie?" Clint murmured to Natasha.
"Most expensive chocolate in the world," she murmured back.
"How expensive are we talking, here?" he wondered.
"About $2,600 a pound," Fury told them, deadpan. "I got my wife a box for Christmas a few years ago. His most expensive piece is a $250 dark chocolate truffle with French black truffle inside it. My wife," Fury settled back into his chair with an oddly satisfied smile, "was very pleased. We'll leave it at that."
The Aesir watched the exchange with some curiosity, exchanging glances and confused looks before Thor finally spoke up.
"This substance you wish my brother to carry, Mr. Hogan..." Thor began.
"Chocolate?" Happy replied.
"Yes. What exactly it is?"
The humans stared, goggle-eyed, at the Aesir delegation. Even the Arch-Bishop was stunned. Tony coughed indelicately.
"You've never heard of chocolate?" he finally asked, aghast.
"We have not this substance in Asgard, or at least not by that name. I understand it is some sort of delicacy?" The huge blond glanced over at his sorcerer-brother, who shrugged large blue shoulders. Loki had not heard of it either.
Pepper raised a hand. "I've got this," she declared, fishing out her cell. "Gladys?" she said a moment later, "This is Pepper. We have an emergency upstairs. How fast can you get a 50 pounder on the express elevator?"
"You have Godiva's on speed-dial?" Tony murmured.
"I live with you," she said pointedly.
Natasha and Clint exchanged knowing winks.
"Ok, great," Pepper said into her phone again. "I'll see you in 15 minutes, then." She snapped it shut. "She's on her way," she told Tony.
"So," Tony mused, settling back in his chair. "The Earth really is the only planet with chocolate. Who knew?"
Twenty minutes later...
Hogun the Grim shook himself and blinked hard, then slammed the tankard of cream in front of him. (He eschewed milk on principle.) "Quite potent, for a dessert," he finally coughed. His bon-bon had contained a 50/50 mixture of dark chocolate and chili powder.
"These are quite intriguing," Sif ventured. "The combination of dried fruit and nuts in mine would make an honorable survival food."
"It's used for that quite often," Natasha admitted, "but usually only in a cheaper form."
Thor chewed thoughtfully. "We really need to send a box of this home to Mother," he suggested, glancing over at Loki. "What think you? Will Hel enjoy some of this?"
Loki's eyes widened. His fingertips were glowing. "Aye, I think she will. Beyond the obvious endorphin rush, what was in the package I ate? I've not had this reaction to any consumable in several hundred years."
"Hand me the package," Dr. Banner reached out a hand, and it appeared in front of him with a *POP*. "That works, too," he said, nodding. He peered at the ingredients label and cocked an eyebrow at Pepper. "Your chocolatier works with Psilocybin Cubensis? Isn't that a Schedule 1 offense?"
Pepper looked confused. "She mixed her chocolate with what?"
Tony snorted; then giggled. "Shrooms!" he said to Pepper with a sly grin. "She slipped him some magic shrooms."
Pepper groaned, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. "I just can't believe it," she moaned. "How could she do this to me?"
"Worry not, Miss Potts, the combination is not toxic," Loki assured her. "What passes for beer on Asgard could be used as fuel here. I've had stronger since I was of age to drink. But the biochemical boost to my magic is...unexpected. Not unpleasant: it is just a surprise."
Stark's young secretary finally ambled over to the table. She stopped long enough at Happy's chair to give the large Italian a kiss on the cheek. "My hero," she whispered in his ear, giving him a sad smile and ruffling his hair.
"Thanks, caramella," he said, calling her by her Italian pet name, "but don't write me off yet, ok? We're not working on making this a permanent trip." He offered her one of the bon-bons from the box in front of him. "Chocolate?"
"No thanks, Happy. That's one of the maple creams. Some things shouldn't get covered in chocolate," she said, shaking her head.
"You can identify that how?" Stark demanded, looking suspicious.
Sauer shrugged. "Simple: by the swirl pattern on the top," she said, pointing to the contents of Happy's box. "See? Pecan cluster, maple cream, vanilla cream, chocolate cream, cherry, blueberry, and almond. It's simple." Stark looked at her with some consternation, and she shrugged. "What? There's a Godiva's in the lobby, and I work for you! Why wouldn't I know chocolates?"
"You forgot the caramel," Happy said, peering down at his assortment.
"Dib not," she answered stickily. "Gabbed dit when ooo wrn't loookin."
"Damn quick-draw," Happy muttered good-naturedly. "Why must you torment me so?"
"Because I know what kind of parties the boss throws, and I'm not going," she declared, gulping.
"Who said anything about a..." Stark began, and then glanced at Happy Hogun beside him. "Oh, right. Send-off. I'm on it. Where's my cell phone?" He started frisking himself in frustration, and only quit when Pepper threw a paper wad at him.
"I've got this," she announced, rolling her eyes at him.
"Say, Mouse," Dr. Banner asked curiously, "how do you understand English all of a sudden?"
She held up the gossip magazine from under her arm. "There's a four-page spread in here about Prince George Mountbatten-Windsor. I focused on that for a few minutes, until I could comprehend what you-all were saying."
"Nice," Tasha said, nodding. "Any pictures of Prince Harry in there?"
Sauer tossed her friend the gossip magazine. "You'll be disappointed. He's pulling uncle-duty on page 63."
"Oсвистание," she muttered, glancing at the picture and setting the magazine down again. She caught Hawkeye's disapproving stare and shrugged. "What? A girl can dream, can't she?"
"Let me guess," Fandral said with an oily tone. "This Prince George...you found your cure in a rendering of a hot-blooded, half-naked young royal? Hmmm?"
Sauer raised her chin. "Prince George Mountbatten-Windsor is third in line for the British throne, Sir Fandral, so yes: a young royal. I'll admit in one picture he is 'half-naked'. But as he is still in diapers, and I am no pedophile, you may remove the 'hot blooded' tag. Prince George is only a toddler. However, at a year-and-a-half old, I still find him more charming than you. Perhaps it's the breeding," she spat, "since education doesn't seem to make any difference."
Fandral darkened in anger and seemed about to retort, but Thor silenced him.
"Fandral," he growled, "hold your tongue. Art nearly 25 times the child's elder, and supposedly more mature. Act like it."
Fandral glowered but sank back into his chair. "Yes, my liege," he groused.
"This is a good development, though," Dr. Banner pointed out. "We still haven't had a chance to debrief Miss Sauer on her 'visit' to the Titan's ship."
"Good point, Doctor," Fury nodded. "Sauer, stick around. We need to talk."
She smiled at him, tight-lipped. "Director, you lost the ability to tell me what to do with a General Discharge. Have you forgotten?"
Barton's head whipped around. "You gave her a what?"
"That," Fury said coldly, "is complicated. And classified."
"And sounds like a load of bullshit," Stark spat out.
"Boss, you would be amazed at how much bullshit is classified, top secret, eyes only material," Sauer nodded to her employer, "absolutely amazed. Unless it's your personal business, and then anybody can know it." She leveled a glare in Fury's direction.
"We don't have time for this," Fury bit out. "This is a war conference, in case you've forgotten."
"And so far all we've come up with is a human sacrifice to Mata Hari," Steve Rogers said suddenly. "We've been at this since early morning! Thanos doesn't have to do much of anything if we don't start working on some strategy! Does anybody here know how much of an army he might have? Tony managed to nuke part of it two years ago. How much can he have recovered in that time?"
Stark twitched at the memory of his trip through the wormhole. He slept better now, thanks to treatment for his PTSD, but sometimes the memory of falling through space still gave him cold sweats.
"Yeah, I'd really rather not do that again," Stark admitted. "If we can glean any information from Thor's buddy and Miss Sauer, here, that would help." He looked up at his young secretary. "Stick around a bit, would you, Miss Sauer?"
"Sure, boss," she nodded. She looked around the improvised conference table. "Does anybody have a pen and some paper? I think it would help if I can start sketching some of this stuff."
"JARVIS, are there writing materials up here?" Stark asked.
"Yes, sir. The brown cabinet behind you contains several writing pads as well as various writing media. Since Miss Sauer is now speaking a language I can comprehend, I may be able to assist her with the renderings, as well," the AI responded.
"Awesome," Sauer responded, walking over to the cabinet. "I'm going to need a lot of help with this, JARVIS..."
"Back to the Captain's question," the Arch-Bishop urged the group, "I believe Prince Loki knows more than anyone here about this Thanos' war mongering capability. Your Majesty," the old man said suddenly, turning to Loki, "what can you tell us about this army of his: the Chitauri? Where do they come from, for example, and how long would it take him to replenish the troops he lost in Manhattan two years ago?"
Loki nodded at the old priest. "Thank you, your Grace." He frowned. "Unfortunately the Chitauri are not technically a race, as we might think of it. They have neither a single home-world, nor even a singular biology. They are a construct: flesh grown in a mold over a computerized matrix, which acts as the brain and nervous system, and is linked to a centralized mind on the command ship."
"We gathered as much from necropsies of leftover Chitauri soldiers," Fury admitted. "When Stark nuked their mother-ship, the lot of them dropped dead."
"An incorrect term, since most of them were technically never alive," Loki snapped. "The Chitauri you collected merely shut down, as machines do when their power supply or instructions are cut off. Most individual Chitauri are incapable of independent thought and action; they rely on their link to the over-mind to direct them. That weakness was exploited by Stark to good effect," he stopped here long enough to nod at Tony, who nodded back, "but doubtless the Titan will have corrected that weakness by now. He may be mad, but he is no fool."
"You said 'most' individual Chitauri are incapable of individual thought," Dr. Banner noted, leaning forward. "What else is there?"
Loki nodded again. "Very good, Doctor. It is refreshing to see that someone here can pay attention." He scowled. "The Mad Titan is not the only force behind the Chitauri. Chitauri soldiers are actually the creation of one I only know as the 'Other', an alien being similar to the Chitauri in enough ways to suggest the basis for their growth matrix. Several, similar individuals act as support staff, and I witnessed others that deferred to him openly as their leader. Those are the beings that need to be countered. The Chitauri soldiers are but insects: mindless, stinging, obedient, swarming insects."
"Like a plague of locusts," suggested Archbishop Gentry.
Loki nodded. "And like locusts, they will spend the next decade or so stripping your planet of every living plant, animal, or person. Anyone not killed outright will be processed for Thanos' feeding pleasure; the rest processed to fuel his servants and armada. When the planet has been completely denuded, it will be broken up and its minerals harvested. Only then will Thanos move on: when there are but 8 more realms to conquer."
"But I nuked his armada two years ago!" Tony protested.
Loki shook his head. "You sterilized part of his armada, Stark, not all of it. Thanos' armada is approximately the size of your system's asteroid belt, and looks much like it. He could successfully blend into it without your people noticing for years, and pick at the planet at his leisure."
"S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarriers can be made space-worthy, but we don't have the propulsion technology to make them effective in combat," Fury mused.
Tony Stark settled back in his chair. "JARVIS, please send messages to both Reed Richards and Hank Pym, requesting their presence at Stark Tower ASAP. Tell them we need to put our heads together on a matter of planetary security and defense."
"As you wish, sir," the AI replied.
"How many of those floating fortresses do you possess?" Thor looked pointedly at Fury. "My squires may be able to help with their conversion."
"That's classified, Thor," Fury said abruptly. "Sorry."
"S.H.I.E.L.D. had about seven helicarriers in its possession, when I was in service," Sauer called from across the room, "but my information is outdated. There may be more in production, or that I don't know about."
"Thank you, Miss Sauer," Loki said, giving the S.H.I.E.L.D. Director a knowing smile.
"NOW SEE HERE," Fury roared, jumping to his feet. "YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT..."
"IT'S MY PLANET TOO, FURY," Sauer roared back. She stood, glaring at her old commander defiantly, a pen gripped in her white-knuckled left fist. "THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE FOR YOUR DAMN SECRETS!"
Fury took two steps towards the young woman. "SAUER, I HAVE HALF A MIND TO..."
"SIT YOUR GOD-DAMNED BLACK-LEATHER-CLAD ASS BACK DOWN IN THAT CHAIR, DIRECTOR, AND STOP ACTING LIKE A PIG-HEADED MILITARY JACKASS!"
Pepper Potts had had enough. She put herself between the large S.H.I.E.L.D. Director and her assistant, and began to get red in the face. Fury took one look at the woman and halted. Were her eyes glowing?
"Miss Potts," he began stiffly, "I don't think you understand the ramifications of..."
"Shut up," she said coldly, "and SIT DOWN. NOW!"
Fury took another look at Pepper's eyes. They didn't just glow, they incandesced. He sat.
"S.H.I.E.L.D. DOES NOT OWN THE PLANET," she roared.
"Honey," Tony started, but he sat back, wide eyed, as her fire-laden eyes whipped to him.
"AND IT ISN'T YOURS TO AVENGE!"
"Miss Potts," Loki began, "I..."
A ball of fire landed on the table in front of Loki with a PFFT and a black cloud of smoke. His eyes widened and he sat back, holding his hands up in a placating gesture.
"IT ISN'T YOURS TO CONQUER, EITHER!"
The room had fallen silent. Pepper Potts had transformed from the coiffed CEO of Stark Enterprises to a raging, glowing demigoddess.
"I'VE LISTENED TO YOUR DAMNED POSTURING LONG ENOUGH. YOU WANT TO SAVE THIS PLANET? GET OFF YOUR DAMNED HIGH HORSES RIGHT NOW! YOU!" she pointed to Nick Fury, "YOU CALL EVERY ONE OF THOSE HELICARRIERS INTO SERVICE, AND SPEED UP PRODUCTION ON ANY NOT YET READY! YOU CONTACT EVERY SINGLE ORGANIZED TERROR AGENT THEY'VE EVER STOOD AGAINST AND LET THEM KNOW WHAT THIS PLANET IS ABOUT TO FIGHT, SO THEY CAN GET READY! YOU CALL UP THE GI JOES AND HYDRA AND COBRA AND THE X-MEN AND NORMAN OSBOURN AND DOCTOR DOOM AND APOCALYPSE AND EVERY SINGLE MUTANT YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING FOR THE LAST 50 YEARS!"
"Quite a lot of those people don't really exist, Miss Potts..." Fury protested.
"NEITHER DO YOU!" she roared.
"Nice point," Clint murmured to Tasha.
"YOU TWO," Pepper roared at the seated assassins.
"Yes, ma'am!" Clint snapped his head around.
"GET ON THE PHONE TO EVERY ASSASSINS GUILD YOU KNOW OF OR HAVE EVER FOUGHT AGAINST, AND CALL THEM INTO ACTION! EVERY SINGLE SAMURI, EVERY SINGLE NINJA, EVERY KUNG-FU MASTER GETS THE CALL! START DIALING NOW!"
Tasha grabbed Clint by the sleeve and left the table, pulling out her cell as she did.
Pepper wasn't done. She whirled onto Tony.
"Put in a call to Hammer and anybody else who is into tech," she snapped. "The boys you called are a good start, but you need to think bigger. How fast can you assemble a house party like you did last year?"
"How fast do you want the unemployment rate to hit zero, dear?" He smiled.
"Yesterday."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Captain Rogers," she snapped.
"Yes, Ma'am?"
"Call everybody you know at the White House. You need to address the President and the Joint Chiefs, day after tomorrow. They'll listen to you," she said sternly.
"Yes, Ma'am."
"And he hasn't married her yet," Thor muttered.
"For a genius, he is a fool," Loki nodded. "She would make an admirable queen."
"DON'T THINK YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK, GOLDEN BOY," Pepper roared again, whirling onto Thor. "YOU MAKE NICE WITH THE FROST GIANTS AND LET THEM KNOW WE HAVE SOME PRIME REAL ESTATE AT BOTH POLES THEY MIGHT LIKE, IF THEY WOULD CONSENT TO FIGHT WITH US!"
Thor blinked.
"AND YOU," she roared again, turning to Loki, "YOU WANT THE WORLD'S ATTENTION? YOU'RE GONNA GET IT! PUT ON YOUR PRETTY FACE, BLUE BOY, BECAUSE IN THREE DAYS YOU GO PUBLIC WITH THE UNITED NATIONS!"
Loki's mouth opened, and then shut. He didn't know whether to be pleased or not. Pepper Potts clearly had no authority to order around either him or Thor, but with her apparent fire-starting ability now didn't seem like the time to argue the point.
Archbishop Gentry cleared his throat.
"Is there anything I can do, Miss Potts?"
Pepper whirled on the old man, and softened a bit when she realized who is was that spoke. She nodded.
"Call your boss. Maybe you can call in a conference of some sort?"
"A Conclave, we call it."
"One for everybody, then: Catholic or Protestant or Hippie-hippy-shake. We need all the back-up we can get."
"I will see what I can do," the old man promised.
"Dr. Banner," Pepper turned to the curly-haired scientist, "perhaps it would be best if I contacted General Ross on your behalf. I know you gentlemen rub each other the wrong way."
Bruce nodded. "I can still make a few calls."
"Do that. Sauer," she said firmly, turning to her assistant.
"Yes, boss?"
"You have a few calls to make as well."
"I do?"
Pepper nodded. "Start with the NRA. Then call CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN. Schedule a press conference for the end of the week. Then call the Agent. We need him here tonight."
"But," Sauer looked stricken, "but he's retired! And his wife! And his kids! And..."
"And it's their planet, too," Pepper said gently. "Maybe he can think of things I wouldn't."
Sauer swallowed a lump. "I'll make that call first, then."
"Good idea," Pepper said, patting the young woman on the shoulder.
Volstagg bent his head down for a private word with Thor.
"My Prince," he rumbled, "I appreciate Lady Pepper's passion, but was she not out of line to speak with you so?"
Thor gave him a troubled look. "I am not convinced t'was Miss Potts that spoke. It may well have been the All-Mother channeling her advice through the Lady. We shall have to consult with Heimdall," he murmured.
Tony's intercom system buzzed. "There is a call for Princes Thor and Loki Odinson on the House Phone," JARVIS declared.
"Odd," Tony said, reaching for the headset. "Who would call them from inside the building?"
It exploded before he could touch the button, and the lights dimmed. A downward-spiraling whine sounded through the building as backup generators tried to compensate.
"What the Hell?" Tony snapped. "Fury, are your boys messing with my circuit board again?"
"I am receiving a message from space, sir," JARVIS, declared. "I do apologize for the delay. It seems my communications board was momentarily incapacitated."
Tony's eyes widened. "On screen," he finally commanded.
Tony's holographic screen flickered above them, and golden, glowing letters appeared on the blue background.
-ODINSONS AND COMPANY-
LADY PEPPER'S ADVICE IS SOUND, AND IS HER OWN-NOT MINE. YOU WOULD DO WELL TO HEED IT. LET NEITHER PRIDE NOR POSITION HINDER YOUR ACTIONS OR SWORN DUTIES. ON SUCH A PATH LIES RUIN AND THE END OF ALL THINGS. STAND FIRM AND STAND TOGETHER. WE AWAIT WORD.
HRM FRIGGA ALL-MOTHER, QUEEN OF ASGARD AND THE 9 REALMS
VIA HEIMDALL ALL-SEER, KEEPER OF THE GATE OF ASGARD
"Well, that is settled," Loki said quietly to Thor. "When do we get started?"