Chapter 6

Brendan's point of view

To: Steven

How's work ? BB x

To: Steven

Me and Chez are going to that club to have a look about with the agent.

Come up if ye want BB x

To: Steven

If ye don't want to just let me know Steven.

I sound so desperate, no wonder he's ignoring me, I would ignore me. The agent that's showing us around the loft is pale skinned, ginger haired and she's wearing bright pink lipstick but more of it are on her teeth rather than her lips. She must be in her late forties and seems desperate for some attention off of the male species.

She's gibbering away, Chez has definitely met her match with this woman. I wish I had a clear head but it keeps drifting to Steven. I can't help but wonder why he's not answering me, is he with someone else? He might have said that he wouldn't see anyone else but I don't know him that well, maybe he's stringing me along that would definitely be a first for me.

"So what do ye think Bren?" Chez turns around to look at me with a big beaming smile on her face looking proud as punch and I feel guilty since I've not paid attention to anything that's been said.

I plaster on a fake grin "Yeah sounds good."

Chez status jumping up and down on the spot like an excited little puppy. "Yey Bren!" she squeals pulling me towards her "I can see it already us to running this place." She exclaims while pointing her hand around the room.

"Yeah yeah me too Chez" I mutter, "I gotta go, don't wait up tonight" I make my way towards the door.

"Tell Ste I said hi" Cheryl shouts after me.

"Huh?" I say, when did Steven come into this.

"Ye said don't wait up, I'm guessin your goin to Ste's" she says frowning at me.

"Yeah, I'll see ye" I say back not correcting her.

I pull my phone out and right at that moment, it lights up.

Steven calling.

I think about ignoring it but that would just be torturing myself a bit more than I already am so I answer, just to get it over with.

"Hello," I sigh sounding bored.

"Hi" Steven hums, he sounds tired "I wasn't ignoring ya, I fell asleep."

I don't reply just grunt, I'm not in a mood with him I'm in a mood with myself for getting worked up over nothing, it's just proved to me how much power young Steven has over me without him even realising.

I hear him gulping, "You still at the club?" he mutters

"Nope" I tell him. Stopping this conversation from going any further. I feel like punching myself for being so blunt with him but it's what I need to do.

I'm complicated, this is why I shouldn't get involved with anyone. "I gotta go Steven. See ye." I say and before he gets the chance to reply I hang up on him.

I see the pub me and Steven went to the other night and I do feel quite thirsty now that I think about it.

It's quite busy but I suppose it is a Friday evening, I walk up to the bar and order a whiskey. Five minutes after I've been in, Douglas and JohnPaul walk in. They don't notice me thankfully, or maybe they do and decide not to pay me any attention.

I look around and there's a lad at the other side of the bar, definitely giving me the eye and just my type. Exactly what I need, to prove to myself I can sleep with someone other than Steven.

Ste's point of view

He hung up on me. He was acting well weird but I don't dwell on it. I've got a text from Doug saying he's going to the dog with JohnPaul, they want to sort things out between us all. Not that I think there's really anything to sort out, John Paul was just being an overdramatic knob and Doug was just being Doug.

I shove on my addidas track suit, style my hair quickly and spray aftershave on. I pull out my phone and phone Amy while walking to the dog, she fills me in with how the kids are getting on, asks about Brendan. I avoid answering it though by saying I need to go.

When I get into the dog it's pretty packed, I head to the bar and decide Doug and JohnPaul can come find me. After fifteen minutes of huffing I decide it looks like I'll need to find them myself.

I get myself another pint and weave in and out of people, I accidentally bump into someone "Oh, sorry" I mutter and then go to move on until I realise I recognise the smell, the aftershave. I look up into the persons face and there's Brendan, arm slung around some other guy. I don't even pay attention to either of them as I shake my head and make a move to try get by them.

His eyes widen "No.. Steven wait" he says as I turn round and head the other way when I realise it's pointless trying to get by him, he spins me around.

"Listen mate." I sneer at him "Unless ya want this pint on your smug face and fancy suit then do one." He doesn't move, just keeps staring at me.

"Just let me explain." he says, his voice still sends shivers down my spine, even when I'm pissed off.

"Ya don't need to explain anything to me!" I shout at him before turning away, annoyed at myself for believing him when he said that he wouldn't go with anyone else, he grabs onto me again

"Please Steven" he sighs, voice lowered.

It takes every ounce of self control to walk away. I down my pint as quickly as I can before leaving the dog. I still haven't found Doug or John Paul but I don't care I just want to be alone now. Ive got an empty feeling in my stomach and I feel like curling up in a ball and crying, but I don't. This is ridiculous, I barley even know him. I should have known this would happen.

I was being stupid thinking that me and Brendan would ever amount to anything. I don't know the guy and he doesn't know me, it's better being left like that. I stop in my tracks and shake my head, nah this isn't like me. I'm going back to the dog, I'm going to sort it out with Doug and John Paul. I'm gonna get steeming and if Brendan's still there then I'm going to ignore him.

I might even prove that I don't care by getting someone else. Show him he's not hurt me, even if he has the slightest bit. When I get back in I see Theresa sitting at the bar all dolled up and she grins at me.

I go sit beside her "Alright?" I say.

"Hey babe!" she says pulling me into a hug. I give her a peck on the cheek, "That bloke from the gay bar last week is in here, he's just went to the toilet"

"Aw yeah? D'ya know where Doug and that cousin of yours John Paul is?" I ask her.

"Emm there around somewhere, it's so packed in here." she says looking around her before shrugging, "They were here a minute ago."

"Yeah I can't member the last time it were this busy." I say back to her.

Jack walks up to serve us "What can I get you's?" he asks looking flustered.

"Ehh can I just get a pint of lager" I say then look at Theresa.

"White wine please" she says to Jack, he gives us our drinks and I pay for them both telling him to keep the change,

I do see Brendan, I can feel his eyes burning holes in my face but I don't look at him, Theresa seems to notice as well, "There's that bloke Ste! He's beggin for your attention." She tells me while pursuing her lips,

"Too bad then eh?" I say to her.

She frowns before nodding her head and smiling as if she understands, she doesn't bring Brendan up again. I know he's still here though seen him from the corner of my eye a few times but haven't dared to look at him, Doug and John Paul finally find us and they both seem merry with drink and each other I'm guessing.

Doug has red stains around his mouth from drinking red wine I'm assuming and just seeing him brightens my mood, he's my best mate, I'm not gonna be mad at him forever. I grin at him before pulling him in for a tight hug "I'm sorry Doug, about earlier." I murmur.

He pulls away and starts laughing, "You drunk already Ste?"

"Nah" I reply smirking, "Maybe a bit tipsy."

JohnPaul clears his throat and I smile at him "Sorry about earlier and yesterday, I'd rather we tried to get on with each other." I'm digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands as I'm saying it, "Since you's are gettin married and that." I hope my discomfort doesn't show on my face.

The rest of the night goes fine until I head towards the toilet and feel a hand around my back, of course it's Brendan.

"Can we talk?" he says not looking at me, looking anywhere but at me,

"No" I say walking away, he just keeps following me though.

We get into the bathroom where nobody else is that's when I look at him, glaring at me, I swallow down. He looks mad, as if it's me that's done something to annoy him,

"Is this your way of trying to get back at me? Sitting with your ex, flirting with everything that moves?" he says moving closer to me.

I don't know why but I back away with every step he takes forward I take one back, right until my back hits the wall, "I weren't trying to get back at you." I say before explaining, "I'm in my local pub having a drink, with some mates. Your the one who's came out your way here if anything it seems like your trying to annoy me."

He looks away when I say that, "I'm right aren't I? Well know what Brendan? I don't care right" I sneer at him, I don't mean it but I need him to think I do.

"Don't say that" he slurs looking at me but it's as if he's looking through me.

I can't stop now, maybe he does care but I need him to prove it so I push him a bit more, drink making me more confident, "I could go out there and pull someone and take them home and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it." I don't know what happens but next thing I know he's got me held up against the wall and not in the way it usually is.

He's got a hand around my throat, not putting much pressure on it but it's enough to shut me up.

Brendan's point of view

I don't know how this happened but Stevens up against the wall my hands at his neck, his eyes are widened. I pull my hand away as if it's been burned. "S-Sorry" I stutter, I just saw read with the things he was saying to me.

He doesn't reply just stares at the floor, frown on his face. He pushes past me, "I gotta go" he whispers so quietly I'm not sure if I heard right. I hear him shuffling away and the door shutting behind him.

"Shit" I say out loud to myself, back in the day that would be a normal thing to happen, most of the lads I had been sleeping with then would have got worse treatment than that for less, but they weren't Steven, and they didn't make me feel this self loath because of it.

I storm out, I need to go home and sort my head out. Give Steven some space then explain myself, it'll all be fine.

When I get home Cheryl looks surprised to see me. Then she frowns at me "What's up love?"

I think about shutting her out or lying to her, but I know from the past I'm best to talk about this so I tell her.

She shakes her head "Your an idiot ye know that?"

"Yeah I know sis" I murmur. She stands up and starts putting her shoes on, I panic and think maybe she's so disgusted by what I did that she can't look at me.I wouldn't be blame her, "Where ye goin Chez?" I gulp

"I'm goin to see that lad." she tells me "Explain how much of a dick my brother can be." her expression softens though "But that he's a good man really, sometimes he just.. Overreacts."

"Do ye think that's a good idea Chez?" I ask her,

"Well, unless ye want to leave it until its too late. If ye leave him to dwell on this he could end up hating you." she says before leaving without uttering another word.

I phone Steven, it rings a few times before going to answer machine.

"I'm sorry." Is all I can bring myself to say before hanging up and leaning my head against the couch. I've fucked up.