Chapter 13

Brendan's point of view

I'm sitting in the office, drinking a glass of whiskey when the door gets knocked. I expect it to be Macca following me in from the balcony but instead it's Cheryl that bursts through the door.

She slams the door behind her and looks at me with a serious look on her face, "Ye've got a lot of explaining to do Brendan." She says while sitting in the seat across from me.

Shit, Macca's told her about me hitting him. "Look Chez, ye know how I used to be, I was a coward. I should never have hit Macca." I say pinching the bridge of my nose, maybe this is what Macca meant when he said he was rooting for revenge.

"What?!" she shouts, I look up and see the shock written across her, okay so maybe she didn't know about that.

"Well what were ye talking about Chez?" I ask her, she looks at me for a few minutes as if trying to decide if she should tell me or not.

"I saw you and Macca on the balcony, what was that all about?" she snaps, I stay quiet don't know what to say to that, I've just revealed to my sister that I used to beat up the person I was sleeping with.

"Ye better have a good excuse Bren, because I wasn't the only one that saw it." she says, "Ste was with me. He seen you's aswell."

"Steven saw?" I repeat after her, putting my head into my hands.

"Yeah, he had said he wasn't coming tonight. Thought you were mad at him, then he seen that. So it looks like he's got another reason." she says to me, "but I guess you've got nobody to blame but yourself, you beat up Macca? At least maybe now Ste will get a quick escape." she sneers at me, I can hear the disgust in her voice.

"I'm sorry," I fource out not looking at her, I laugh to myself but nothing's funny about this. It's the weird laugh I do to cover up that I'm nervous. "I would never hurt Steven purposely." I protest, "I was fucked up back when I was with Macca, ye know how messed up I was."

I hear her voice break and then I do look up at her, I can see the dissapointment in her eyes, "I just can't believe ye would be capable of something like that. I don't even feel like I know ye anymore."

"I had a lot of secrets back then, I was horrible at times but I changed." I say, "I got help."

"Only after we went to the councillor when da died!" she shouts, the word makes me cringe 'da'.

"I still did it. I'm not like that anymore." I say to her.

"Ye strangled Ste in the pub!" she shouts at me.

"Why do ye have to bring that up?!" I snap, "I didn't strangle him Chez."

"Know what Brendan. I'm going to go out there and I'm going to make sure everything goes well tonight, if you want to stay don't talk to me. Or Ste, if I can persuade him to come." She says before walking out the office and shutting the door behind her.

I don't think Macca realises that he doesn't even have to do anything to get revenge on me I'm pretty good at self sabotage.

I pull out my phone searching for Stevens number and phone him. It rings out, once, twice and a third time before I give up trying.

I decide I'm going to go out to the club make sure all is well and get drunk while I'm at it.

Ste's point of view

Brendan tried to phone but I ignored it each time he did. I'm guessing that by now he's spoke to Cheryl and has decided to phone to try sweet talk me, I would answer to tell him to fuck off but I know I'll probably not be able to if I give him a chance to talk.

Cheryl's text aswell,

From: Cheryl

Listen babe. Ignore my brother he's already been warned to stay away from us tonight, got things I need to talk to you about aswell. Pls come love Chez xx

I don't reply for a while but after an hour of laying about feeling sorry for myself, I text her back.

To: Cheryl

I'll come, will phone when I'm on way xx

From: Cheryl

Brilliant babe! See you soon xx

I take a deep breath, I can do this. I need to prove to myself that I can resist him if I really want to. I go in for a shower and halfway through the water turns cold, brilliant, that makes it a quick shower.

I wear my best clothes, if I'm going to see Brendan I need to look my best. Show him what he's missing, I know it's stupid to want to do that but I feel like I need to get one up on him. If I go looking like shit he'll be able to tell its bothered me.

I style my hair, giving myself a small quiff at the front and ring Doug.

He answers almost straight away,

"Hi Ste." he says, he sounds happy but awkward at the same time.

"Alright, ya still goin to the club tonight?" I ask

"Yeah, listen Ste I gotta go I'll see you later." He says and hangs up, good thing I'm going to the club then because I didn't even get a chance to speak to him properly.

He's being acting so weird lately, I don't know what's up with him. I head out the door locking it behind me, it's freezing outside and I really should have brought a jacket but I don't really care and can't be bothered going back in to grab one even though I know I should.

I phone Cheryl when I'm outside the club and she comes to the door to meet me.

"Hey babe, so glad ye could come!" she says grinning and pulling me into a hug, I think she might be a bit tipsy already.

"Alright" I say smiling at her, "I weren't goin to stop him from me goin out and havin a good night."

"Good" she says and pulls me into the club. It's busier than what I expected but thankfully I don't need to wait at the bar, Cheryl goes behind it and gets us both a vodka and coke each. I look around for Brendan and when my eyes do met his I realise he was already looking at me.

He looks sort of sad but he's probably only putting it on to make me feel sorry for him. Cheryl comes over and that shakes me out of it.

"Ste, if you want Bren to stay away then giving him the eyes won't help." she says giving me a disapproving look.

"I know," I mutter quietly while we slip into a booth, "I can't help it though, it's like he demands my attention then when he's got it I can't look away. Or even stop myself thinking about him."

She frowns, and puts her hand on top of mine before giving me a small smile, "I can't tell ye the full story, that's up to Brendan but I can tell you part of it?"

I just nod to her, don't even know why I want to know about this.

"Macca and Brendan had an affair. When Brendan was still married to his ex wife, Macca is her nephew." she says, she looks a bit ashamed and straight away I feel sick even thinking about Brendan and another person.

"Does he have no morals at all?" I say, disgust lacing my voice, "His wife's family? Really?" I ask, I probably wouldn't be this shocked if it was anyone else.

"He's different now babe, he'd never do anything to hurt ye." Cheryl sighs sadly. "I know its bad. The thing is Brendan's not interested in Macca anymore. Not to my knowledge anyway, Bren didn't even know Macca was coming here." she carries on.

"Know what I wish Cheryl? That he would just be honest." I say, it comes across more like a huff.

"Babe, you's are still getting to know each other. That's been complicated without him bringing his ex into the mix." she sighs, "All I'm sayin is think about it if it was the other way about and your ex was back would you find it necessary to tell him?"

"I suppose your right Cheryl but you seen how close they looked?!" I protest trying to prove that I have some sort of point here.

"Ye can't stay in a bad mood with him for someone trying it on with him." she says,

"What do ya suppose I do? Just forgive him like that?" I ask clicking my fingers.

"No that's not what I'm sayin but at least talk to him." she says, "I've never seen my brother act the way he does when he's with you with anyone else. That must count for something."

"I dunno, my life's complicated enough I don't need anything adding to it." I sigh, "I.. Care about him but this is only us starting out and it's been so much hassle already."

"I get what ye mean, my brother is a prime example of complicated." she says nodding, "but maybe with your help.."

"Can we just stop talking about this?" I sort of snap at her, it feels like all I hear about these days is Brendan.

"Of course love" she says, obviously understands what I'm getting at, "I'm away to mingle, ye know it is my clubs opening night after all." she grins winking at me.

"So what your just gonna leave me ere myself?" I ask, almost laughing at the whine I hear in my voice.

She smirks back to me and looks towards the bar, I follow her eyeline and see Brendan sitting himself. She raises her eyebrow, "What a coincidence," she says mocking a shocked look on her face.

"Yeah thanks Cheryl" I mutter sarcastically to which she rolls her eyes before moving away.

I push through the bodies on the dance floor to get to the bar and when I do eventually get Rhys attention, Brendan swoops in.

"I'll get this Rhys" Brendan says, his eyes burning into me. "What can I get ye?" he asks me.

"Vodka and coke" I say as dry as I can.

"Give me five minutes to explain," he murmurs while pouring the drink he puts it on the bar beside me.

I shake my head at him, "I don't want to hear it, just stay away from me the now." I say while placing a few pounds on the bar.

"I told you already, all your drinks are on the house," Brendan grunts while pushing my money away.

I slam my hand down on top of it before grabbing the money and shoving it back in my pocket, muttering a few swear words under my breath.

I try not to look at him while I grab my drink and walk away. I find a quiet bit and just stand drinking, drink after drink and I notice Brendan looking at me a few times but he doesn't approach me which I'm glad about.

I soon see Doug and he grins when he sees me, "Alright" I say pulling him into a hug.

"Hey, you okay?" he asks,

"Yeah you?" I say back to him "Where's John Paul?"

"Yeah I'm good thanks" he says, grinning ear to ear, "John Paul couldn't come though. He's got a family meal thing."

"Come on spit it out then, what ya so happy about?" I say laughing at his giddiness.

"We set a date Ste. We're actually going to get married." he says, I've never quite saw him as happy as this and its contagious. We end up getting a glass of champagne each, it's cheap stuff but the bubbles go straight to my head making me laugh like a donkey.

"So when is it you's have set it for?" I ask grinning, I really am happy for him.

"November the sixteenth." he says grinning.

I almost choke on my drink, "But that's like two months away?" I say to which he nods.

Doug just randomly bursts out laughing, "Your face Ste! You look more nervous than me!" he says grinning.

"What?" I moan " I've still got to write me best mans speech!" I huff.

We both get into a fit of laughter and then I feel a grip around my arm, I turn round to see Brendan standing there, it's only then I realise that Doug's managed to take my mind off Brendan for a while at least.

"Can I talk to ye in the office?" he asks, his eyes boaring holes into Doug.

I tug my arm away, "When are ya gonna get the message? I don't want to talk to ya." I hiss back at him, the alcohol making me sound more confident about that than what I actually feel.

"Just let me explain!" he snaps.

It's Doug that talks next, "Maybe you should go, I'll wait on you here" he says with a tight smile.

I let out a huff and stomp towards the office, I feel like a kid having a temper tantrum but I can't help it.

When we get into the office I don't hear him speak but I can feel his eyes on me. He steps towards me and brings his hand up to my cheek but I push him back, am actually quite proud I've managed to do it.

He looks as if me doing that actually hurt him, I know it didn't though, it was barley even a shove.

"I've not been with Macca since I met ye. I've not been with anyone." he explains, I dont reply I just look at him blankly waiting for him to continue. "He appeared out of nowhere, saying he was going to get me back for leaving him."

"Then why didn't ya just tell me?" I blurt out, can't help myself.

"Because.." he huffs, "I knew you'd get freaked out, I didn't want ye to finish with me."

I go to speak but he stops me,

"Cheryl was letting him sleep at ours but I've chucked him out."

"That doesn't change anything Brendan! Just please back off." I say, and walk back out of the office what I need right now is some space. I make up an excuse to leave to Doug, he could see right through it though.

"Ste please don't leave because of him. I need my best man with me." Doug says grinning again at the last part. I can't help but smile back, even when I was mad at Doug he could still always make me smile even if I was feeling my lowest.

"Yeah your right." I say nodding my head.

"Aren't I always?" he asks smirk on his face. "Listen I'll go get us drinks I'll be back in five" but then when he sees the amount of people at the bar, "Make that fifteen".

I laugh at him as he walks away then finish the rest of my drink, there isn't really anywhere I can sit my empty glass so I just keep ahold of it. A while passes by before I feel a body next to mine.

I'm texting Amy about the kids and I think it's Doug.

"That were ages." I say looking back up, I stop what I was saying when I realise it's the person I now know as Macca.

"Alright?" he says, "Ste is it?" he asks with a wide grin that I can't tell if it's genuine or not but I doubt it is.

"Yeah, your Macca?" I ask, I can imagine he's probably the type of person I could be mates with but I know I won't. The fact he's been with Brendan makes the jealousy eat away at me.

"Yeah" is all he says, he stares at me for ages as if he's trying to work something out but then I hear myself breaking the silence.

"So you and Brendan used to be together?" I ask, I feel like punching myself as soon as I say it, bringing up Brendan was probably the worst thing I could do.

"Yeah we did" he replies back to me, he's got a smile that I want to punch off but I don't instead I smile back at him. "It was amazing, that's why I'm here."

"What's why your here?" I say frowning.

"I came to try win him back but.. I don't think I can" he says, sad smile on his lips, "I can tell he's wrapped up in you, there's no way that I'll ever be able to get through to him."

"Well sorry I guess" I don't know why I'm apologising, but I don't know what else to say, he's basically just admitted defeat.

"I've got a warning for you though" he says, eyes pleading. "Brendan's a psycho, nothing will change that. He'll manipulate you and try to control you, and if you don't do what he wants then he'll force you to." Part of me believes what he's saying but I really can't imagine Brendan doing any of that, partly yes but not as dramatic as Maccas making it.

"He'll make you do what he wants one way or another. Physically or mentally."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, I sound appalled but I mean to sound annoyed, what is he trying to say?

"It doesn't matter. If you stick around too long then you might find out." He says, "You might think you know what he's like but trust me you don't have a clue."

I see Doug coming back over and I assume Macca will leave then but he doesn't, he sits and talks away to us as if he's our friends. I've started to worry that maybe that's what him and Doug are but then I see Doug looking at me giving me eyes that say what the fuck is he doing here?

I see Brendan aswell, he looks pissed off, doesn't seem to be taking his eyes off of us the full night.

I think about the night Brendan had his hands around my throat, it might have only been a short amount of time but if what Maccas saying is true then that could just be the beginning.

I end up having a surprisingly good night and the three of us stumble out in fits of laughter at god knows what.

"Yous wanting to come back to mine?" I slur, "Think I've got more drink."

They both nod and we all walk at a quick pace, well as quick as we can without falling about. We're all staggering and banging into each other and when we get to mine we shove on a movie and have a few beers, I stick a pizza in the oven for us and we all sit around the couches eating, drinking and watching shitty tv. The last thing I remember is Doug tucking me into bed laughing and talking about videoing me the next time I'm drunk.

Brendan's point of view

I'm furious, there is no other word to describe it. Steven brushed me off the full night, but acted like best buddies with Macca.

Cheryl's came around and started talking to me, shes noticed my foul mood I guess. Eventually she gave up tying to get it out of me and left so here I am sitting in my empty club, in the office drowning my sorrows.

I phone Steven but it goes to answer machine everytime, I leave several voice messages but I can't remember what I was saying.

I give up and decide he'll only talk to me if I go and try speaking face to face. I stagger to his house the cold air making my face feel numb.

Before I chap on the door I look in the window, it looks like there's some sort of light on, maybe a lamp or a tv. I knock quietly on the door feeling nervous all of a sudden. What am I supposed to say?

All things are knocked out of my head when the door opens and I see Macca standing there, only in his boxers.

"You?" I sneer,

"What do you want Brendan? We're busy here" he says, a smug smile on his face.

"We, Busy?" I repeat.

"Yeah." he says, bored expression on his face, "Me and Steven. No wonder your so obsessed with him he's amazing".

"Shut up Macca." I breath, shaking my head I don't think Steven would go near Macca, I pray he wouldn't.

"I really don't think you should come in Bren, Steven doesn't want to see you. He told me so, he'd much rather me." Something about his face tells me he's being honest, "How does it feel to know that I've took the person you care about away from you? It wasn't even that hard either."

I can feel my heart beating in my chest and my hands begin to tremble, there's nothing more I want to do than grab Macca by the face and smash it against the wall but I don't.

Instead I stagger backwards mumbling god knows what before turning away.

I don't have a clue why I've just walked away and not barged my way in and demanded why Steven thinks this is okay. I don't do that though, instead I find myself sitting down on the ground and crying, I don't realise that I am until I feel the wetness against my cheeks.

I've never felt like this before, it feels like Steven's just grabbed my heart out my chest and just squashed it in his hands before throwing it away to the side. As if it meant nothing, like I meant nothing.

If Steven did have feelings for me even just a little bit then how would he be able to sleep with Macca? It's obvious to me now, I was just a pastime to Steven, the lads played me at my own game.

I give myself five more minutes to mope about and let all the tears flow then I stand up, fix my suit and walk home.

Right now I need a good nights sleep before I decide what to do about Macca, I don't even want to think about Steven at all right now. Macca I knew was a snake but Steven's genuinely blind sighted me.