I guess it doesn't matter what has happened, what will happen. Bad things happen, they're fixed, or covered up like a bandage with something healing, some kind words. And then the bad thing is gone, like it never happened. Like all the silly things that made it scarier are just reminders of what not to do. I think I get it now, what everyone was so hyped about- life. In such a small amount of time too much threatens us. But it's also us that's threatening. So how can we make it not so?
Go out on a limb; let me kill them. Ask questions; am I a replacement? Do something bold, I love you.
And it's so exciting, this change, this new. These feelings, even the bad ones. Taking a step away from the normal and finally experiencing. But luckily, I'm experiencing a little greater than everyone else. The person who hasn't gotten anything yet, has stumbled and fallen into something in-explainable. I'm started to love this. This new. This Slenderman.
It's a bright day and there are minimal clouds in the sky. There's a slight breeze that passes here and there, otherwise, it's a perfect day for a walk, especially after all the rain.
"Slenderman-"
"Just Slender, is fine Blaye."
"Okay... Slender, are you alright?"
"Why the concern?"
"I mean- how are you feeling, after your sleep?"
"Refreshed, I suppose." I breathe out. His slow change in personality is only barely visible, and these additional bumps in this road of his only help. Telling me how he really feels and opening up might not only have surprised me but him aswell. Letting his guard down by falling asleep, how's it effect him? And to top it off, he's not being in his constant 'unemotional' self, where nothing bothers him. Things are bothering him- but that's not the word for it, maybe it's more of... he's realizing things. So now he can finally respond with what's really the answer.
"Is that all?" I look up.
"Most likely. ... You seem to like that question."
"Well you never tell me all of it."
"And why must you need to know, all of it?" He's trying to make me say something.
"Maybe because I want to know." I shrug as he gives an amused sigh.
"Blaye, you always give so much effort into answering my questions, yet I barely answer yours."
"You just realized this?" Just realizing things, I hit it right on the dot, didn't I? I always have to ask so many questions to get to the answer. Whereas, I tell him everything once he's brought it up. But maybe that's the separation between male and female.
"I guess I have." I can tell if he's only trying to be more affectionate but, Slender's arm around my shoulder, rather around my neck, starts to choke me a bit.
"You're strangling me a little," I mumble.
"Oh, sorry." Though instead of only loosening the hold, he takes his arm off me overall. I'm a little disappointed, only for his long arm to lock around my own. In the manner of like he's escorting me to a ball. I goofily smile and begin to giggle.
"Is this more normal for you?" But my chuckling only becomes more blunt. And now how am I making fun of him? It is his clothes? How old he is? That he grew up in the 1900s? Or just the way he presents himself and speaks so properly? "Sorry," I wonder if my laughter is annoying, "You're just so proper." In the mists of this, his arm is retrieved and before I can apologize again he's kneeled down infront of me, taking me by my waist and pulling me into a simple hug. His sudden endearment doesn't keep me from smiling but my laughter has stopped. He starts,
"I've waited so long, for that laughter to be because of something I did." My arms find their way around him aswell, cause it be pointless not to.
"You like my laugh?" My face is now pressed against the side of his.
"As much as I adore you." I'm only speechless for a second until-
"D- don't say embarrassing stuff like that-" I try to push away but rather I just lean my head off him. "And I laughed at you last night, didn't I?"
"That was barely a laugh as I recall; you've never laughed in my presence Blaye. It's a very," He moves his head away to look at me, "beautiful laugh." No wonder he stayed.
"You're dumb."
"I'll take that as an agreement," He stands back up. "I know you already like me, now it's only a matter of time before I get you to love me." I gulp.
"Wha- How do you say those things!? It's so-! embarrassing-" I utter, rubbing my eye sockets with my palms aggressively.
"I see you've never gotten a compliment before." He's completely calm, if not amused by my bashful state.
"You don't just compliment- it's a tease! it's like it's-" I groan, why is this is so aggravating? "It's so-"
"It's love." I stop. My vexed mood pauses, taking in what he's said. My arms lower yet are still stubbornly positioned holding the sides of my head. I'm fighting it. I'm fighting against it, aren't I? This is just affection in his way of trying to show it. In my new content acceptance, Slenderman's hands take hold my the sides of my face, bringing his head down. I place my hands over his. I should fight it- I shouldn't fight it-... I won't fight it. He positions the absence of any lips against my present ones. In the end, it's more of the corner of my mouth that he's gently pressing against, then gliding onto my lips directly. It's sweet, the word to describe it. He hovers away. Almost a flashback of some sort hits me, seeing when I first really met him in my room, compared to this moment now. The difference is...
"You're emotional self is embarrassing."
"You mean my new self?" No-
"You're old self," the original.
"You've never met that version."
"I have now, haven't I?"
"And that's why it's the new me, because you're meeting this one for the first time."
"Do I have to...?" What an utterly childish way to think, a way to feel, a thing to say. Do I like the new him? Did I ever like the first him? Can I love the new him? I don't know the answers to these. All I know is that I was just becoming comfortable with the first him, the scary him. Now it's all changing to this. Something I know nothing of, and something he's familiar with. Did Elizabeth teach him? How to love?
"Yes, you do." This makes me smile. Smile enough to where I have to close my eyes, and breath a little just to open them again. But by then, he's already back to gliding over my lips without his.
-Later-
"Blaye, you're not tired are you?" We finished our walk, a long walk, worth it all the while though. I wonder how long it'll before I'm caught... not that she can actually catch me at this point.
"No." We sit within the red truck of his forest, or rather, ours now. I wonder if we can make that official.
"Are you thinking then?" I'm sitting in the passenger seat, while he sits in the driver's. Both are pushed back and are on a tilt to our own comfortable setting. It's cozy, and quiet, except for our words. I'm amazed by how complete I can be with just one person, well atleast I didn't know this until now.
"Yeah." Compared to my parents and my colorful, sad room, I could live in this truck with him. Is that what the love is? Our friendship? Something so in between and special that it be a crime not to slip in a few small pecks here and there? Silly...
"About what?" In fact I'm enjoying it, but maybe more because he's enjoying it. He's done it out of his own desire. And I admire that desire. If it makes him content, I guess that makes me happy.
"... Love." Is it love though? Well of course, or that a specially pink mixture in between that means nothing to no one... other than us.
"... Have you ever been in love?" If a crush counts as being in love, no, not real love.
"No."
"Am I your first kiss?" first, second, and third to be precise. Though the second one I kissed him.
"I guess." But it's not like I've kissed his actual lips, in which he does have. So maybe I actually haven't kissed him.
"Sorry."
"It's not a bad thing."
"Yet, isn't your first kiss supposed to be with someone special?" He's trying to make me say that I think he's special to me, not that it isn't untrue...
"You're special enough." I hear a chuckle.
"That's cold."
"Barely-" I gasp at the sudden touch of his cold skin caressing my cheek.
"Calm down, it's just me." Like I couldn't guess that. Though this time, whereas I'd usually just wait till the moment passes, I go to feel his hand. I don't look, but little by little he takes his attention away from my cheek and starts to weave our fingers together. But it was actually me this time encouraging the act. Our hands are now deeply intertwined and lay on the divider between us. Butterflies crack in my stomach and my throat has gone dry. Just this much contact has me in an internal fritz. His thumb starts to rub my skin gently causing me to become even more restless. "Relax," he states firmly; of course he can sense this. I regret this act of mine although at the same time, I couldn't be more thrilled. He's such a-
"Gentlemen."
"What have I done this time?" he says in defeat.
"It's everything you say. You say it out of courtesy of me." I make a gesture with my free hand.
"And the times I yelled at you?"
"That was before, that doesn't count." His hand tightens around mine; this reminds me of the time he reacted to my bad dream, his hand tightened the same then. "And remember when you got upset over the dream I had? you were becoming worried about me."
"I'm always worried about you," he corrects.
"Exactly." Slenderman doesn't realize this. My voices starts to raise in proving my point. "And when did you even start talking like that? Is it out of just being mature from seeing the world longer than anyone else? Oh, And still being able to live in your youth?"
"That's a good guess, you're probably right."
"Don't just agree- give me some insight."
"Alright..." He agrees. "It's most likely to have began when I aged to about 40 and heard all the humans and there new slang whenever they wandered into my forest, I felt them below me, and as the years passed, I wanted to give this impression extensively. I started reading, going back to the history books, the old fictions, they all spoke the same, in maturity and grace, especially the nobles or royals at the time. I wanted to appear and sound old, as old as time and give the illusion that my existants has been existing for... well longer than I've actually been alive."
"A hundred years."
"I wanted to seem a thousand, I wanted to separate myself from humans, so that my reason to kill them became an unsolvable mystery. Something so ancient, not even I know the reason."
"Why do you kill them...?" My heart was beating a little at Slender's rare monologue. We seem to still be holding hands.
"Haven't I answered this?" 'He enjoys it.'
"Yes, and it is very unsolvable." It's also difficult for us to solve why psychopaths murder, but he's not like a psychopath or a murder, and with that suit, he makes it like it's his job. "I don't get it."
"You don't need to." I squint my eyes at the sour topic. But it's unavoidable... "Are you happy now?" To tell the truth, I am.
"Yes actually, It's all so interesting. You're interesting." I just wish he'd answer like this more often. "If I have any other questions in the future, will you answer them too from now on? Like you just did?" He lets out a long breath.
"I will try." The sound of fabric indicates he's looking at me again, I don't want to all that much but I look back anyways. "You are aware that I've never told anyone, anything about me, except you, right?"
"But Elizabeth...-"
"I lost contact with her after I left my home town, that was long before any of the changing in me occurred."
"You've never told anyone...?"
"Not a soul, except yours."