Chapter 14
Brendan's point of view
I wake up, head pounding and mouth dry, I roll out my bed and manage to stagger to the bathroom. I slap my face with some cool water hoping to wake myself up and look at myself in the mirror. There's rings around my eyes from the restless sleep that I've just had, my eyes bloodshot from the tears shed and the ones I was holding in, I look pathetic.
I go downstairs and see Cheryl, she's not noticed that I'm standing there yet or maybe she has but is just ignoring me. She's munching away at a slice of toast and I grab a slice off her plate and shove it into my mouth.
It doesn't taste the same, just seems bland, even though it's smothered in butter it doesn't help, I don't know if maybe it's the hangover that's making everything seem so shite, or maybe I'm still a bit tipsy.
"Oh god Bren!" Cheryl exclaims taking my face into her hands, "What's up with ye? Ye look terrible?"
"I couldn't sleep" I mutter, my voice coming out croaky and she frowns at me,
"Is everything okay?" she says, "Cause if it's not then you can tell me. I'll try to help."
"I don't need your help." I breathe out while shutting my eyes,
"Is this to do with Ste?" she asks and the mention of his name reminds me of his betrayal, Macca standing at his front door in only his boxers.
I hum a reply and I guess she takes it as a yes, "Awk don't worry, he'll get over it eventually, ye can't blame him. He feels embarrassed."
"He feels embarrassed? So that makes it okay for him to sleep with Macca?" I snap, I don't even mean to say it but I feel so bitter, angry and jealous that I can't contain myself.
"He did what?!" Cheryl shouts, her grip on my face getting rougher, "I don't care what you done, that is unacceptable! I was even on his side yesterday, he even made me feel bad for him!"
I feel her letting go of my face and I open my eyes to see her moving about like a manic. She puts on her shoes,
"Where ye goin?" I ask, all of a sudden scared, I feel like a wee boy being picked on at school and my sister is going to sort it out for me.
"I'm going to see Ste, get to the bottom of this and find out what's going on," she shouts at me, eyes wide.
"Chez think about this yeah? Usually it's the other way about." I say, a small laugh escaping my lips.
"Yeah but instead of talking you'd use your fists." She says taking a deep breath, "Sorry I went a bit mad there, I'm just not used to seeing you sad," she says with a small smile.
"Don't worry I'll get over it." I tell her before I pull her towards me and kiss her on the head, "Thank you" I whisper to her.
"What for?" she asks looking shocked,
"Always being there for me" I sigh, "even when I've been the one in the wrong."
She nudges my arm with a grin on her face, "Thats what sisters are for" her grin fades into a small smile before she asks, "So what happened?"
I take a deep breath before telling her everything that I can remember, she nods along and seems shocked. "I really didn't think he'd be like that Bren. I actually liked him" she says .
I grunt back to her "You and me both Chez. Just leave it yeah?"
"No Bren. This is one thing I need to do." She says a determined look on her face and I know there isn't going to be any talking her out of it. "I'll see ye at the club later," she says giving me a kiss on the cheek and leaving.
I guess now all I can do is sit and wait.
Ste's point of view
There's a banging at the door, this person isn't even chapping, it sounds like there headbutting or kicking the door instead. I get out my bed walking through the hall to the living room where Doug and Macca are lying, Macca only in his boxers but Doug fully clothed. I don't know how they've both managed to sleep through that racket.
I open the door and I'm surprised to see Cheryl standing there, she looks pissed and she goes to open her mouth but I soosh her and step back to let her in before leading her to my room.
"Is there any particular reason your hammering on me door?" I ask while I move back to my bed getting comfortable again.
"Where's Macca?" she asks bluntly.
"In the living room, I think him and Doug crashed out there last night," I explain, "Ya wanting me to wake him?"
"No, what I want to know is why you slept with him," she snaps, at first I think she's kidding but she looks like she's ready for attacking me.
"I slept with Macca?" I repeat, thinking I've maybe picked her up wrong.
"Don't play dumb Ste, ye know exactly what I'm talking about." she sneers.
"Right I don't know what your talking about Cheryl." I snap, "So either explain to me or just leave." I like Cheryl but when she's speaking to me like this she might as well just fuck off.
She looks shocked at that "Who do ye think your talkin to?!" she shouts at me right in my face, "I don't appreciate you fucking my brother about.. Especially when I told ye he cares about ye!"
"Wait a minute!" I shout back at her giving just as good as I get, "It was Brendan that was messin me about not the other way about Cheryl."
"Macca was tryin it on with him that's it, nothin else happened!" She near enough screams, "but you.. The first chance you got you jumped into bed with him!" she points a finger in my face and I feel the blood drain from my face.
"Are you being serious?!" I shout "Your accusing me of going near that thing?" I point my finger towards the door, "I let him stay at my house because you's kicked him out and ya blame me for sleeping with him?" I ask, my voice no longer raised, "He slept on the couch, with Doug. Ya can wake Doug up if ya don't believe me, I were the first to go to sleep."
"Oh god, Ste wait a minute.." she says but I interrupt.
"Nah Cheryl. Ever since I got involved with Brendan all there's being is drama, well I give up its not worth it" I snap, can literally feel myself snapping, I've being accused of lots of things but that is one of the worst, especially when I felt like I was getting somewhere. "Get out" I say plainly.
She looks shocked, but then nods, looking about a bit awkward. I follow her into the living room, she looks at Macca who's just sitting in his boxers a knowing look on his face as if he's just heard everything and now Doug's awake and he just looks confused.
I slam the door behind her not caring what she was about to say. Macca's looking at me with a guilty look, "I want you gone" I say to him, "I don't know what's been said or seen but you can't be here."
He nods along while Doug just stares at me in confusion.
Macca quickly collects his clothes, I don't even know why he was in his boxers and by the look on Doug's face neither does he.
When I walk Macca to the door, "Your making the right decision ye know?" Macca says.
"What's that?" I ask looking at him,
"Finishing things with Brendan, I know it might hurt the now but it'll save you a lot of pain." he says clearing his throat, "I wish someone would've told me before I got involved with him."
I nod, "Yeah well thanks I guess" then I remember something Macca said yesterday, "Did he ever hit you?" I ask, he looks at me shocked like he can't believe I just asked that. Neither can I really but I don't care, he just nods and walks out the door.
I'm glad I've ended things with Brendan now. I walk back into the living room, "Your not going to tell me what that was all about are you?" Doug asks, as soon as I get in.
"Not the now." I say shaking my head, "I think we should kinda hurry we're half an hour late opening up."
"You want to go into work?" Doug asks, I just nod back. "Okay, we better get a move on then."
We quickly get ready moving around each other with ease, it reminds me of the start of mine and Doug's relationship when we had first opened the deli, before the cracks started to show.
I think now how easy it would be to get back with Doug and settle down but I know I can't do that to him or myself even if it is just a little tempting.
"So your in Brendan's sisters bad books then?" He finally asks,
"I'm gonna need a coffee if we're gonna be talking about this." I sigh when I realise he isn't going to let this one go.
Brendan's point of view
I hear the door slam before I hear heels clicking, marching almost.
It's Cheryl, she looks upset.
"Hey what's up?" I ask walking towards her.
"I didn't think he'd be that bothered but he just went mental and started shouting." She says, my grip tightens on her shoulder.
"Who did?" I ask,
"Ste.." she says, I feel rage fill through me, who does he think he is shouting at a woman and not just any woman my sister.
"He didn't sleep with Macca, Bren," she says chewing on her lip.
"Yes he did" I say, I get a flashback of Macca standing in his boxers, "Macca told me, it was obvious."
She shakes her head, "He lied, it wasn't just Macca and Ste that was there. Doug was aswell, by the looks of it Doug and Macca slept in the living room, Ste told me they were on the couches." She lets out a deep breath, "Ste was even wearing tracksuit bottoms and he was in his bedroom, by himself. He was so angry that I accused him of that."
"But Macca said.." I go to speak,
"He was doing it to get to you Bren, I don't know why we didn't see it at first." she sighs.
Now that she says that it does add up, Macca wanting revenge, he knew I cared about Steven, must have saw an opportunity and took it.
I get annoyed with myself that I didnt notice, I start to walk away but I feel Cheryl's hand wrap around my arm.
"Brendan don't, he won't listen the now." She tries to get through but it doesn't matter I shrug out of her hold and march down the steps, I'm about to pass the deli but I look in and see Steven and Douglas standing there laughing at each other.
I swallow my pride and suck it up before opening the door.
Douglas turns round smile on his face until he sees me and it drops. He taps Steven on the shoulder who then turns round to me, scowl on his face.
"What D'ya want?" he asks, full of attitude, "here to accuse me of sleeping with another one of your exes? Or did I have a threesome with Doug and Macca now aswell?"
"Can we talk?" I mutter, feeling nervous all of a sudden while I brush off his last comment.
I see Steven's eyes soften slightly and I almost take a breath of relief when he nods and turns to Douglas "I won't be long, you'll be okay yeah?" he asks but doesn't wait for an answer before he's taking his apron off and taking his jacket, Douglas shrugs in reply but gives me the evils.
We go to the fountain that's in the village. "What ya got to say?" he says, pout on his face that I feel desperate to kiss off.
"I'm sorry-" I start but he starts laughing.
"Understatement of the week" he says, "Listen can we just cut to the chase where I say see ya and you say it back?"
I step closer to him, "That what ye want?" I ask, he takes a second too long to answer so I kiss him, at first he seems frozen to the spot but eventually he kisses me back with the same amount of roughness.
The pleasure of just getting a kiss from him is ridiculous, I pull away and he looks angry with me.
"Ya can't kiss me to shut me up!" he shouts.
"I didn't do it just for that reason" I say innocently.
"Bren, we need to stop this" he says and I look at him properly, he looks sad, I didn't realise I was making him unhappy, "Like finish this, whatever it is between us."
"If that's what ye want." I murmur, he pushes me then.
"Don't do that!" he shouts,
"Don't do what?" I ask, actually am clueless.
"Make it out like this is my decision, like I'm the bad one." He says, but the thing is its him that's putting a stop to it, not me.
"It is your decision though Steven." I sigh, "I don't know what ye want from me. I've told ye before that I want ye and I still do."
"And I still want you." he states,
"Then what is the problem?" I ask, I almost sound desperate.
"We're the problem Brendan, do ya ever get the feeling that maybe everything's going wrong for us this quickly because we're not meant to be together?" He huffs, "I've been thinking about it for the past week now and all this with Macca has just been the final straw with it."
I stand there for a minute trying to figure out what to say, "There's nothing I can do to change your mind is there?"
He looks at me for a moment before shaking his head, "I honestly think we're better forgetting that any of this happened." He snaps, "We can just pretend we don't exist to each other yeah?"
That hurt, out of all the horrible things people have said that's one of the worst, he's made me feel so many things I've never felt in my life and for him to just turn around and say we should forget about it, like it basically means nothing to him, yeah it hurts.
I feel myself becoming cold towards him, my feelings no longer on show, hidden behind the mask I've used with so many people but I've never really had to infront of Steven.
"Ye know what Steven?" I say "That's fine, in fact it's practically already done." I don't wait for a reply, I take one long look at his face.
He doesn't look happy, he looks pretty gutted but what did he expect? Me to beg him? I don't think so, I told him I cared about him, gave him enough reasons to stay with me but he didn't care so why should I?
While I'm walking away I can practically feel his eyes on me but something about this just doesn't feel final even if it should.
I walk back to the club, Cheryl's sitting at a table with paperwork infront of her biting her nails. She looks up at me and looks relieved to see me. "How'd it go?" she asks, hopeful smile on her face.
"We're done." I say bluntly, I feel almost numb, this isn't the worst I've ever felt before but considering the lad was only in my life a few weeks and already I think about him more than anything else, I care about him more than I have any other sexual partner. It hurts to know ill never be able to kiss him or hold him or sleep with him.
I can see the sadness in her eyes, "I'm sorry Bren.." she starts to say but something on my face must make her stop in her tracks, "I'm here if ye need me." she says patting my arm.
She leaves me alone after that and I sit at the bar and drink a glass of whiskey, soon one turns into two and two turns into three and so on until I can't remember how many I've had and I fall asleep on the couch in my office.