Chapter 16
Brendan's point of view
Things with me and Steven have been great, this is the first time in my life that I've been happy and comfortable with sharing my life with another man, he doesn't know everything I've still got some skeletons in my closet but everyone does. A full fortnight we've been together for and there's been no disagreements, it really does amaze me, its also been just over a month since our fall out but I sometimes forget it had ever even happened.
Cheryl thinks its a good idea to show Steven that he means something to me, "Chez, I hear what your saying but it isn't my thing." I sigh trying to explain to her why a date isn't only a bad idea it's a terrible idea.
"Don't be silly, everyone loves a date." She says grinning, "Ste isn't going to stay with someone who refuses to go out."
"He's not even mentioned anything about it before." I tell her, frustrated that she won't just let it be.
"Course he hasn't, he's waiting for you to suggest it." She says while grinning at me again and she seems to be seriously enjoying herself.
"Since when did ye become a mind reader sis?" I murmur back to her sarcastically.
"Oh shut up Brendan." she groans at me, "Does he mean something to you or not?"
"Not this again." I sigh, holding the bridge of my nose.
"I'm not moaning at you, I'm just saying. You and Ste never go out, yes you've went out for a few drinks but that's all, if ye don't show him you care he will think you won't." she says, looking smug, "and going to the club doesn't count!"
"Is it maybe a possibility that we are happy the way we are?" I sigh, "That maybe we don't need to go out for fancy dinners to know we care about each other?"
"He won't be thinking like that Bren." she huffs, "Just think about it yeah?" she says while tottering out the room in her heels.
And that's why now I'm thinking maybe this isn't enough for Steven and maybe I should ask him out for dinner, for dinner not a date though. So I ask him and he says yes, and I'm sitting in the club waiting on Cheryl coming in so I can go to Steven's and get him, when she does come in she grins at me and sticks her thumbs up, "Ye look so nervous Bren." she says giddily and when she finally crosses the room to meet me, she buttons up an extra button on my shirt, covering more of my chest up, "So where you taking him?" she asks, eyes lit up like a kids on christmas day.
"McDonald's." I sneer back sarcastically and feel a twitch go off on my cheek.
"Ye need to calm down, your acting like you've never been on a date before." She says, while grabbing my hand that's tapping the desk, I didn't even notice I was doing that.
"I haven't really went on a date before though have I sis?" I mutter back then curse myself, I've just called this a date and Cheryl's picked up on it, she looks like the cat that got the fucking cream.
"I don't know why your so nervous, it's obvious Ste is in love with you, he wouldn't care if you turned up looking like a hobo.." she says grinning.
"Shut up sis." I snap at her, feelings are the last thing I want to talk to her about. I drain the rest of my whiskey out the glass I've been drinking from.
"What your going to start denying that you love him again?" she says a cackling laugh escaping her mouth.
"No but it's too early Chez, I can't freak him out." I sigh, right at that moment I hear a crash coming from right outside the office door, it's not until I move closer to it that I realize the door is open just a crack. Surely not enough for someone to hear inside with the music blaring in the club.
Theres an empty crate sitting on the floor and Sinead is looking anywhere but at me and has a look on her face that makes me think she's a bit guilty, brilliant she's heard what I said.
"Office, Sinead." I say in a stern voice. Cheryl stalks out murmuring about how I can deal with this, she'll be at the bar.
"I won't tell Ste what you said." she says giving me a smile, "your secret is so safe with me."
"I know ye won't." I say simply, nodding my head.
"But.." she starts before I put my hand up interrupting her,
"If ye open ye mouth, I'll make sure ye regret it." I sneer at her, squaring my shoulders in an intimidating manner, "Got it?" I ask her, she nods her head, eyes widened, "See ye." I say while I walk out the office, and up to Cheryl.
She looks between me and Sinead with a worried look but then gives her a small smile, "There's some punters waiting to be served at the bar downstairs love." she says.
"Okay." I hear Sinead whisper, and hear her walking away, I don't look at her, have a feeling I'll regret saying what I said if I do.
Cheryl gives me a slap on the shoulder, "What did you say to her?!" she snaps at me.
"Nothing, her imagination is probably just running away with her." I say back dryly. "Anyway better go." I say pointing towards the door, ignoring the slight tremble I can see in my hand. I spin round and head outside, trying to snap myself out of this, telling myself that it isn't a big deal, it's only dinner.
Ste's point of view
It's been a full two weeks since me and Brendan have fixed things up and to say things were fine would be an understatement, they've been great. We've not argued or had any confrontation, I've had to bite my tongue from saying those three words to him more than a few times. We're lying in his bed, coming down from our last orgasm, this is one hundred percent the way to wake up in the morning. The sex hasn't changed if anything it's gotten better, we know roughly what each other likes, I know that if I nibble at his bottom lip while tugging at his nipples, I can have him eating out the palm of my hand the same as he knows that if he bites and licks at my neck I'll do just about anything for him in that moment.
I'm actually happy. I don't feel like anything could dampen this mood, Brendan looks exactly the same. Sometimes I swear he looks at me like he can't believe I'm really with him, like I'm something special. Like the now, he's looking at me all soppy and holding me close, repeatedly kissing my shoulder blades. It makes me feel cherished in a way.
"I was thinking, ye could come out for dinner tonight." he murmurs, hot breath on my back.
I turn over to look at him, "What did you have in mind?" I ask him, nuzzling into his neck.
"Well I was thinking ye could dress up a bit, and let your boyfriend treat you to something nice." he says pressing a kiss against my lips, my heart flutters and I can't help the grin that spreads across my face, all because he called me his boyfriend. I learned in the early days that he didn't like putting a label on things, he mentioned it to me one night after we got back together, told me he doesn't do boyfriends. I learned it was probably best just to ignore the pang of dissapointment I got at basically being rejected.
His eyes widen with realisation, and he stutters a bit, obviously caught off guard, "I mean.. Eh.." I shush him with a peck on the lips.
"What time have I to be ready by then?" I ask while moving out of bed.
"Lets say six? I'll come to yours then we'll get a taxi?" he says looking sheepish while grabbing his phone from the bedside table.
"Okay, have you seen me T-shirt?" I ask looking around before checking under the bed, "Never mind, got it." I say while I shove it on. I look back at Brendan and he's still not moved just looking at his phone.
"I've got to make some calls the now Steven." he says and I take that as my que to leave.
"Yeah I'll let myself out, see ya later yeah." I say while walking out the bedroom door.
Cheryl's sitting in the living room in her housecoat, she looks up while I walk down the stairs and grins at me, "Alright love, ye wanting some?" she says while holding up her bowl of cornflakes.
"Nah I'm gonna get off." I say smiling back at her, me and Cheryl have gotten closer aswell, sometimes when Brendan's working at the club late, he'll ask me to wait at his for him, me and Cheryl will sometimes sit and watch tv together, eating crap until Brendan comes in.
"Okay, you and Bren going out tonight?" she asks, a look on her face like she already knows the answer.
"Yeah, how'd ya know?" I ask her,
She looks back at me blankly which is unlike Cheryl, she never hides anything, you can always tell what she's thinking or feeling by looking at her face, anyone can read her like a book. The now she isn't giving anything away though, "Oh, I just heard Bren rabbiting on about taking ye out for dinner." she says, smiling at me but it doesn't reach her eyes, I frown at her a bit confused.
"Eh alright, I'll see ya later then." I say while grabbing my jacket and heading for the door.
"See ye love, hope ye's have a good time later." she says smiling at me, this time it does look like a real smile. I can't help but have a feeling I'm getting kept in the dark about something.
I shake my head, knowing I'm just overanalysing it, I always did look into things too much. I head to the deli to start my shift. Doug looks like he's itching to leave, "About time." he says as soon as I get in, I look at the time on the clock,
"Im only like two minutes late." I say, I was to start at half twelve and it's thirty-three minutes past.
"Yeah but I've been bored out my mind, we've only had two people in all morning." he sighs,
"No point us both being ere' then" I say, he looks like he's about to protest and I'm guessing he thinks that I'm going to try leave, "Ya might aswell go. Surprise John Paul or something." I suggest to him.
That perks him up, "I'll stay till after one, just incase it picks up." he says.
"Ya sure?" I ask him to which he nods back, "Suit yourself." I mutter to him.
"So hows Brendan?" he asks, I think Doug secretly despises Brendan but he's making an effort with him nonetheless and John Paul is off my back since he doesn't think I'm after Doug now that I'm with someone else.
"Yeah good, we're goin out for dinner tonight." I say grinning at him.
"Really?" he says frowning, "Where you's going?"
"I have no clue, Bren mentioned it before I left his." I tell him, "How's John Paul?" I ask, not that I care but I feel rude not asking, Doug's making the effort with Brendan so I'll need to return the favour.
"So it's Brendan's idea?" he says frowning, "and yeah John Paul's great. He's stressing about the wedding though."
"Yeah it's his idea, no wonder he's stressing about it, it's in a few weeks." I say to him, not believing it myself, my best mate Doug, getting married to a guy I can't stand, a guy that tried it on with Brendan. I don't know what's worse, John Paul doing that or me not telling Doug.
"I didn't think Brendan would be the dating type." Doug says and it comes out sounding bitter but I don't know if I'm maybe just picking it up wrong.
"Well I'm not really either am I?" I say busying myself by cleaning the counters, "It's just dinner anyway."
"Then why do you seem so nervous about it?" he asks me.
"Do I?" I ask frowning,
"Yeah dude, you should relax before going." he says.
A customer comes in, stopping us from carrying on with the conversation and after that it's kept ticking over, it gets to quarter to two and I tell Doug to go.
"It's quieting down now anyway, ya might aswell head." I say.
"Yeah thanks Ste, I definitely owe you." He says moving away from behind the counter.
It doesn't get busy and I don't stick around for much longer after Doug leaves, when I get back to the flat, Sinead is sitting infront of the tv, "Alright babe?" she says to me looking away from the screen.
"Hiya." I say grinning at her and planting a kiss on her cheeks, "Ya hungry?" I ask holding up a takeaway bag from the deli.
"Starving!" she exclaims while grabbing the bag from my hands, which makes me laugh, "By the way tell your fancy man to ease up on me, he's working me like a slave."
"Yeah I might have mentioned ya needed more hours." I say to her squeezing my eyes shut waiting for her to moan the face off me.
"Aw really? I thought he was just being cruel because he knows we're friends." she says, raising her eyebrow.
"Nah, I think he likes ya really" I say smiling at her, "Ya got work tonight?"
"Yeah, start at five." she says while stretching out, she brings out the tuna pasta I made for her, "We sharing this?" she asks me.
"Nah, if I eat the now then I won't later." I say, giving her a small smile.
"Fair enough. More for me then." she says while grinning. "So what's the plans for tonight then?" she asks.
"Dinner with Brendan." I tell her, she's the person that I've told the most about Brendan, she knows the doubts I have in my head when it comes to mine and Brendan's 'relationship'.
"Well that's nice." she says, scoffing the food, "So's this." she says pointing into the container, "I told ya Brendan likes you!"
"I know he cares right." I sigh, "but it ain't the same."
"Why don't you just tell him?" she asks me, as if it's that easy.
"I can't, I'm scared that if I do it'll push him too far. He doesn't do relationships but he called me his boyfriend and he's taking me out for dinner, that's enough for me." I nod my head after I finish speaking, Brendan's enough for me.
"Yeah but for how long?" she asks, "At least if you tell him and he doesn't say it back then you'll know, the more time you spend with him the harder it's going to be to let go."
"Just leave it Sinead yeah?" I say a little harsher than intended, I sit down beside her and change the subject, "So what's on the telly then?" I ask.
And that's us finished with the conversation of Brendan, instead we're watching don't tell the bride and laughing at the men not having a clue what the woman they're supposed to be marrying wants,
"Imagine we put Doug and John Paul on that." Sinead says giggling like a schoolgirl.
"That would be hilarious!" I say, "It would maybe get Doug more excited about it."
"Is he not excited?" she asks,
"I don't know, he's been stressed since they started planning the wedding, his face is either splitting or he's miserable." I sigh.
"Well whatever's going on I'm sure it'll be fine, but I do need to get off to work. Have a good date." she says standing up and poking her tongue out at me.
"Yeah yeah, enjoy work." I say, finishing off with a laugh as she grumbles while walking out the door.
I check the time, I've only to style my hair and go on the hunt for my nice clothes, I go for the navy blue shirt Brendan bought me, when he first started buying me things I refused to take them but when he just kept doing it I realised there was no point.
The shirt is a perfect fit, and has short sleeves, Brendan knows I can't stand long sleeved tops. I go for my black chinos and black Adidas trainers, still don't really like wearing dress shoes. I put some grooming creme in my hair and style it up into a quiff, slanting to the side, and spray a bit of hairspray on it for extra hold.
I take a look in the mirror, and I'm happy with what I see, I look good, I put some aftershave on and walk back to the living room, trying not to check the time, now the nerves have started again. What if I'm dressed too smart, or not smart enough. I don't get long to think about it when my door starts knocking, I know that it's Brendan because he always does the same knock everytime he's at my door. I open the door and I'm almost blown away, he looks gorgeous.
He always does, but right now I think is the nicest he's ever looked, dark grey fitted suit with a vibrant red shirt, his hair styled with gel, I prefer his hair without anything in it, light and fluffy but I've only seen it a handful of times like that. He grins at me before wrapping his arms around me and placing his lips on mine, I think he was intending for it to be a short soft kiss but that's not what I had in mind.
He looks stunning, and I kiss him like I haven't kissed him in ages, when we pull away he smirks at me, "Missed me?".
"You taste of whiskey." I say to him while subconsciously licking my lips.
"Oh yeah?" he says, grin on his face, I mutter a 'mmhmm' back to him.
Before stepping aside to let him in but he doesn't move, "Let's go, it's not a good idea if I come in."
"How?" I whine sounding childish,
"Because we won't get out for dinner if I do." he smirks, "I thought we could walk, it's not that far away."
"Oh okay." I say, cheeks colouring.
He was right, it was a ten minute walk but I hadn't brought a jacket, Brendan kept close to me, his body heat keeping me warm. He didn't put his arm around me or hug me but I don't mind that, he's chatting away, and it's only then I realise he's nervous, normally it's me that talks constantly but I'm not getting a word in edgeways. Not that I mind, it's nice him talking for a change.
"..So Elieen called me, moaning that I don't see the boys enough, that she's thinking about sending Deccy over. Ye know Declan, he's my oldest." he looks at me as if waiting for me to agree so I nod to let him know that I'm paying attention, "She isn't sure though, feels like it would be unfair letting one of them over but not the other, so I said she can send Declan over now and maybe Padraig next time. She still doesn't seem sure though."
"Well that's good." I say to him, "I can tell ya miss them, I'm sure she'll let them over."
He gives me a smile, his eyes are shinning, I've never seen him like this before, he holds the door to the restaurant open for me and as soon as I walk in I realise I'm well out of place, there's high ceilings and a big golden chandelier hanging in the middle of the room. The waiters are dressed in crisp white shirts with black bowtie's and black suit trousers, the waitresses wearing the same apart from its pencil skirts instead of trousers.
A short woman with a sharp jet black bobbed haircut and bright red lipstick walks up to us, "Evening Sir's, can I help you's?" she asks in a polite voice but I can tell she wants to shout at me to get out, I'm tempted to hide behind Brendan but I doubt that will help.
"We've got a booking for half six, under the name Brady." Brendan says from beside me, his voice unfazed. She looks between us both before smiling again.
"If you'll just follow me, your table is ready." she says while walking away for us to fallow her,
I look at Brendan, wide eyed and he smirks at me before tugging at my arm, "Come on." he say following the woman and I try to stay as close as I can to him, would stick myself to his back if it would mean I wouldn't get any more funny looks. This is the most pretensions place that I have ever been in, that I can remember anyway.
We get seated at our table and as soon as the woman leaves I kick Brendan underneith the table. He makes a small noise and looks at me sharply, "What was that for." he asks, like he doesn't have a clue.
"Ya could've warned me that we were gonna be surrounded by snobs." I say at him, sounding playful.
"Well I did say dress up but obviously ye didn't listen." he says grinning at me.
"Oi!" I say before pointing to the shirt, "You bought me this."
"Oh yeah, must've slipped my mind." he says, I go to say something back but a waiter comes over.
"Hi my name is James, I'll be your waiter for tonight, can I get you's gentleman a drink?" he says looking at me.
I look at the drink menu and ask, "Can I get a melon mojito?", normally I would get a beer or cider but I don't want to stick out even more.
The waiter jots it down before turning his attention to Brendan who's good mood seems to have vanished, he takes his time deciding what he wants and I have a feeling he's doing it deliberately, he finally decides, "Can I just have a Jamesons whiskey?" he says bluntly, barely even acknowledging the waiter.
"Coming right up." the waiter grins at me, I smile back out of politeness and Brendan just grunts, his eyes focused on the waiter until he's no longer in sight.
"My names James, I'm your waiter. Bla bla bla." Brendan moans, trying to intimidate the waiter, I don't think he even realises that he isn't alone, he looks at me with wide eyes.
I smirk back at him, "What were that all about?" I ask.
"Nothing." he says looking shifty while James comes back over with our drinks.
"Are you's ready to order or do you need more time?" he asks us, Brendan answers nearly straight away.
"Well have two sirloin steaks, medium-rare, with wedges not fries." he says ordering for both of us, in a dismissive manner, I frown at that.
"I don't really like steak Bren." I say sharply at him, "Can you give us five minutes?" I say turning my attention back to the waiter. He nods and gives me a soft smile, he doesn't go far, hovers around cleaning the table a bit down from ours.
"What were that all about?" I snap at him.
"What are ye wittering about now Steven?" he says coldly.
I roll my eyes at him, his bad moods making me regret coming, "Firstly your acting like a proper dick for no reason and I don't need ya to make decisions for me either." I know Brendan has a possessive side and he likes to be in control, he's told me bits and bobs about his past that lets me know he has some issues. "If ya didn't want to come for dinner ya didn't need to invite me."
He lets out a sigh, "Sorry." he mutters quietly, drinking the last of his whiskey, "What ye thinkin about having?" he asks leaning over the table towards me.
"Eh the Cajun chicken wrap with peppercorn sauce and salad sounds nice." I say to him, "What do ya think?" I ask.
He smiles, a proper genuine smile, Brendan's signature smile, "Get whatever ye want Steven." he says softly.
I nod and he calls the waiter back over, he's still quite dry and rude with him but I realise why now, Brendan's jealous, I don't know why the thought of that makes me feel giddy. When our meals come over Brendan picks a red wine, I'm not really a fan of wine, they all taste bitter and dry but this one tastes nice somehow and makes the meal seem nicer.
Our plates get taken away and I take another sip out the glass only realising just now that I feel tipsy, I grin at him, "Dessert?" the waiter asks us and it almost sounds suggestive, I see Brendan's knuckles tighten but he doesn't reply, just looks at me expectingly.
"I don't think I could eat anymore." I say not taking my eyes off Brendan. I know that if I glance at James even once, Brendan will get the wrong impression, one thing I'll never understand is how someone like Brendan Brady can be insecure.
So insecure that he doesn't realise the way I look at him or feel about him it's always other people he concentrates on.
He pays the bill and I let him, murmuring rather drunkenly that I'll be paying next time.
"What makes ye think there'll be a next time?" Brendan murmurs against my neck while we walk outside, he must be drunk because he never acts like this in public, it's like a weights been lifted of his shoulders.
"Aww ya don't wanna do it again then?" I ask smirking.
"Shut up." he says smiling, putting his arms around my waist and pulling me against him so our groins are flush against each other, yep definitely drunk. Thankfully there isn't anyone around, so I don't see the harm in pulling him into a kiss, "Ye wanting to come back to mine?" he asks puffing out a breath.
"Yeah okay." I whisper against his mouth, not looking away from his eyes.
We find our way back to his flat, a walk that would normally take fifteen minutes taking double the time, one reason being we can't keep our hands to ourselves and the other that we're drunk, barging into each other and me snorting out laughter every five minutes. When we get to the door and we spend a good while just trying to get the key in the door when Brendan pulls me down to sit on the ground, back against the door.
"I feel dizzy the now, I'll get the door in a minute." he says holding his head with both hands.
I can feel the words swelling up in my throat, about to burst out but I keep it shut, distracting myself by looking anywhere but at him, when I look back round he's softly snoring, I smirk. He must've had way more than me to drink, I've seen him in a few drunken states but this is definitely the worst I've seen him, seeing him snoring against the door makes me come up with a good idea, I should take a picture of him and show him in the morning but he'd probably go into a huff. I take the keys out his hand and put them in the door before bending down and dragging Brendan up, he sags down like a sack of potatoes but I keep him stuck to me and manage to get the door open.
Cheryl's sitting on the couch watching tv, eyes rimmed red. I rest Brendan on the couch, he's still fast asleep. "Ya alright Cheryl?" I say softly while catching my breath and walking towards her.
"Yeah course love." she says sniffing, "This movies just so sad." she points to the tv.
There's a ginger woman and a little girl dancing on a beach, or something like that, I frown at her, no wonder I never understood the woman's mind. "You've never seen it have ye?" she sighs, I shake my head, "It's called beeches and it's the saddest movie ever."
"Why do ya want to watch a movie that makes ya cry?" I say, confusion obvious in my voice.
She looks taken back by that question then she shrugs, "Good date then?" She asks,
"Yeah was alright." I laugh at her before looking at Brendan, "Fancy helping me upstairs with him?" I ask her.
She looks at me sympathetically, "He's all yours babe." she says while smirking and looking back to the tv.
"Yeah thanks a bunch Cheryl." I say sarcastically, I attempt to lift Brendan but I can't, and Cheryl giggles quietly after I fail the fourth time.
I turn around giving her the evils and she looks at me innocently, "Theres funny bits in this movie aswell."
"Yeah yeah." I say sounding unconvinced, I snap my fingers at Brendan's ear a few times before his eye fly open and he blinks while looking around sleepily. "Bed." I say to him when he looks like he's about to just rest his eyes to go back to sleep. He frowns at me before standing up and pulling me towards him wordlessly.
When we get into the room he plants himself on the bed, still fully dressed and try's to drag me down with him. I start to strip out my clothes leaving on my boxers and socks, I help Brendan out his clothes while he's still half conscious, I get in the bed beside him and feel him pulling me against his chest.
He plants a sloppy kiss on my cheek, "Ye always lookin after me ain't ye Steven." It isn't a kiss to initiating anything, it's lazy. He pulls away and gives me a soft smile before resting his eyes shut, it must be minutes before he's back to sleep.
My phone vibrates from the bedside table, I reach out for it and it's a text from Sinead.
From: Sinead
We need 2 talk! It's important, about Brendan! I'll come to the deli in the morning. X
I don't know why but my stomach churns. I knew something would come up, me and Brendan were plain sailing for a while, it was only a matter of time before something ruined it, but maybe Sinead just thinks its important when it's not, I decide not to worry myself about it. I'm not in danger with Brendan, I do trust him, whatever Sinead says won't be a big deal.
I put it to the back of my mind, I'll find out soon enough anyway.