Chapter 17
Brendan's point of view
I wake up, head pounding and Steven sound asleep beside me, his face buried into the crook of my neck. As if he was always meant to be there, I can feel every breath he takes, the hot air against my skin. This is how I would like to wake up every morning, I check my phone, 6.45 am and no messages.
I always do wake up early when I've been drinking the previous night and I know Steven has to be up for work in an hour since he's doing the early shift today. I creep out the bed slowly, bed creaking but not loud enough to wake him. He tosses to face the other side of the room but that's all. It feels strange, this house being so quiet, I take a good long shower after I've still got fifteen minutes before Steven needs to get up so I decide to do something I've only ever done for very few people. Make him breakfast in bed, not just any bed aswell, my bed.
I cook a fry up, enough for me and Steven and Chez aswell when she decides to get up and rush about getting ready. When I get back in the room I'm surprised to see Steven's already awake, frown on his face while looking at his phone.
"Morning." I say to him, snapping him out from his daze, he smiles at me but it doesn't reach his eyes. I feel like some sort of gran, bringing him in a tray while he just looks at me confused.
"Ye alright?" I ask, sitting down on the bed.
"Yeah em.." I hear him clear his throat, "What's this all about?"
"What? I made ye breakfast?" I say as if it's the most normal thing ever, yes to normal people it is but not to me.
"Yeah but.. Why?" he asks, still sounding sleepy.
"Does there need to be a reason?" I ask before shoving a sausage in my mouth, "No, good." I say before he gets the chance to answer me.
"It's just weird." he says frowning but starting to eat his own. "Bren, if there were something wrong you'd tell me wouldn't ya?" he asks, I frown at him then, I don't think he's talking about the breakfast anymore.
"What ye mean?" I ask, still shovelling food in my mouth.
"Well.. Like Macca, if something like that happened again, you would tell me yeah?" he asks.
"Yeah Steven I would. What are ye gettin at?" I murmur to him.
He shakes his head, "Nothin' I'm just tired is all."
"I know something that will wake ye up." I say grin spreading over my face, the remains of my breakfast forgotten about while getting pushed away.
"Bren!" he says chocking on a bit of food while I go under the covers making my way to his groin. He pulls the cover back "What ya doin?"
"Don't act so surprised Steven." I smirk at him, pressing a kiss against his prominent hip bone, he wriggles under me, I know he hates me doing this to him, thinks I'll get put off him because he's boney. He isn't horribly skinny, his hip bones are one of my favourite things about his body, I would never tell him there's not actually a part of him that I don't love though. "I feel like its been ages since we last had sex." I reply back bluntly, we dont have enough time for me to drop hints to him, I start licking and biting his stomach.
"Well ya would've got some last night if ya weren't so pissed." he says back full of attitude, like he really is annoyed about that. I bite down hard on his nipple and that shuts him up, making him whimper a little and I know I've won him over now. He lets out a frustrated noise, "Fine but make it quick, I need to shower before work." He says as if it's a task to him,
He doesn't need to tell me twice, I push my two digets towards his mouth and straight away he opens up, slicking them with his spit, sucking and slurping and making a big show of it, making my dick pulse with need. I soak his enterence with some lube while he throws a condom at me, I roll it on about to give myself a stroke when Steven rejects my fingers out his mouth and I'm about to ask what he's doing when I feel him take my full length down his throat, he looks at me cockily which makes me thrust into his mouth, I push him back against the bed, recently sex with Steven hasn't been as rough as normal, don't get me wrong there's still been bruises on Steven's thighs and hips from how tight I've been holding onto him. There's still bite marks on both our bodies, scratches all over my back.
Sometimes we aren't rough at all, it's slow kisses and thrusts, caressing each other. Not this morning though.
I grip his wrists putting them above his head and holding them there with my one hand, he pushes up pressing his chest against mine and I can't help but raise an eyebrow at him before catching his lips in a rough kiss, can't help myself, his lips always seem to look like they're begging to be kissed. I hope nobody else thinks about the boy like this but I think they'd be stupid not to, the selfish part of me wants me to keep him locked away just so nobody else can have him, I'm just waiting on the day he tells me that we're finished. Inevitably it will come, I hope he does realise I care about him though, would hate if he doubted it.
I pull away and look into his eyes, they seem to glow, like big bright blue lights, "Come on Bren." he groans.
I line up, condom already on and push into him, ease my way in for the first few inches feeling the walls stretch around me, then I thrust all the way in, his tight arse swallowing my dick. Steven lets out a throaty moan, already digging his nails into my back whimpering my name.
The pace is quick and hard, I'm surprised I don't break him with the thrusts, I sometimes forget how much he can take, that he isn't as vulnerable as he sometimes looks. I work him up to his orgasm, trying to hold off for him but failing, can already feel the tremble and hear the groans I'm letting out.
When Steven does cum there's a beauty about it, he looks so fresh and fucked that it nearly takes my breath away. Nobody makes me feel as euphoric as he does. There's curses spilling from his lips like he doesn't even know he's saying it and as I feel my orgasm spilling I crush his lips with mine.
I lay in bed, Steven's warm form beside me until he jumps up out of the bed, "Shit- The deli." he exclaims.
I open my eyes to see him going over to my laundry pile and grabbing one of his shirts and pair of trousers, Yes he has clothes over at my house.
"I'm gonna need to iron these aswell Bren." he whines.
I can tell what he's hinting at and I can't help but smirk at him, "I'll do that." I sigh moving out of the bed, "Go for your shower they will be done by the time your out."
"Thanks." he grins, giving me a peck on the corner of my mouth before passing me the clothes and heading out the room. When I walk out into the living room I'm greeted by a sly looking Cheryl.
"So I guess the date went well then eh?" she says, raising her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
"We had a few mishaps but yeah I'd say so. We'll talk later he's still here." I say quietly, paranoid incase he does hear us talking.
"Oh I know Bren." she says winking, "I'm off to the spa, going to get these brows done."
"Yeah have fun Chez, don't worry I'll open up today." I say to her moodily, don't even know why I'm annoyed not like I'd be doing anything anyway.
She tuts before walking out and I get to ironing for Steven, I'm not the best at ironing, normally rush it and Cheryl will do it for me instead but I'm taking my time with Steven's, knowing him if it's not done to his standards I won't ever hear the end of it. I get a fright when I feel a pair of arms around my waist but I know it's Steven, from the feel of him and because I know he's used my shower gel.
I turn around, see him standing in nothing but his boxers and a pair of my socks, golden tan all over, his fringe is wet so it's flopped down onto his forehead making him look younger. He grins openly at me while getting dressed infront of me.
"Who came up with the uniforms?" I ask, I'm praying it wasn't Steven, I know he can make rash decisions especially when it comes to clothing but I seriously can't imagine him coming up with this.
"Who do ya think?" I asks smirking back at me and shoving his trainers on.
"Douglas?" I hiss, don't mean to sound so moody about it but I know Douglas wants Steven and knowing they spend so much time together does get me jealous.
"Yeah." he frowns, "Anyway I better be off, thanks for breakfast and.." he doesn't continue just looks up at me a filthy grin on his face.
I give him a quick open mouthed kiss and as he turns to leave, I swat his bum, not hard enough for it to hurt
"Brendan!" he shouts but laughs aswell so I'm guessing it was allowed.
As he leaves I can't help but feel grateful that for whatever reason we've became a part of each others lives and I think maybe, just maybe he's the one that could save me from myself.
Ste's Point Of View
Sinead looks nervous, standing across from me in the deli, it looks like she's debating with herself whether to tell me or not.
"Will ya just spit it out Sinead! Your making me nervous." I say to her letting out sigh before taking another drink of my coffee.
"Right don't go mental but I heard Cheryl and Brendan talking in the office yesterday when I went for my shift, I wouldn't have normally listened in but I heard your name get mentioned." she explains, I can tell she's still holding back though.
The dread fills me and I know that this Brendan bubble is just about to burst. "What were they sayin?" I ask, throat dry all of a sudden do I take another sip of the coffee.
"I don't feel like its my place to say, but Brendan.. I don't think you know what he's completely like okay?" she says looking like she's about to go insane.
"Your confusing me now.." I mutter, don't know whether it's her that's being the confusing one or if it's me that isn't paying enough attention.
"He threatened me, telling me that I'd regret it if I told you what they were talking about." she says, it's then that I take in the rings around her eyes, like this has generally kept her up all night.
"Brendan wouldn't hurt ya.. Did you maybe misunderstand him?" I ask hopefully.
"No Ste he made it clear, I wouldn't have said what it was anyway, but if he goes about threatening people to keep there mouth shut and hides things from you is that seriously the type you want to get involved with?" she asks me.
I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall, "I really like him Sinead. I feel like if we were to ya know break up I just wouldn't know what to do. It sounds daft but it's true."
She takes my hand in hers, "Talk to him." she tells me.
"And say what exactly?" I ask her.
"Tell him how you feel, don't hold back with him." she says, thumb circling over my hand, "I'll stay here for a while, go talk to him."
"Ya sure?" I ask and she nods her head straight away, "Thanks."
I walk out into the village looking up at the club, not knowing wheather to try there or his flat first. I go for the club and it turns out I'm right. He sitting at the bar when I walk in and it's obvious he wasn't expecting me by the look on his face, "Steven." he says to me trying to cover the surprise in his voice but I can just about make it out.
"Why did ya threaten Sinead?" I ask him not taking my eyes off him,
He looks like he's stunned not sure what to say, "Don't deny it, I know it's true just tell me why."
"I can't." he says looking away from me and shaking his head.
"So your keeping more stuff from me then?" I half shout, he doesn't even look like he is that bothered by that.
"I've got my own life Steven, ye can't expect to know everything about me." he says, still not looking at me. As if this conversation is just boring to him.
"Know what Brendan? Until you've decided that you can trust me I don't want to talk to you." I snap leaving no room for argument by walking out.
I'm so pissed off, the fact I've put effort into this thing, whatever it is that's going on, all I asked was for him to be honest with me and he can't even do that. I give myself a shake and head back into the deli, Doug's there looking expectingly at me, Sinead nowhere to be seen.
"What?" I ask after five minutes of him staring at me.
"Is it not obvious? What were you doing that was so busy that Sinead had to cover?" he asks grouchy.
"Honstly Doug I can't be bothered with this today, I just want to get this day by with." I snap, he seems to get the message and we barely talk for the rest of the day, I feel guilty but after a drunken girl comes in making an arse of herself the tension gets lifted and we share a laugh with each other.
While cleaning up Doug decides to bring Brendan up, "Whatever he's done I hope you realise now he's not worth your time." he gives me that advice as we part ways.
It's alright for Doug to say that, he's getting married to the man he loves in a matter of weeks and I'm still not even sure what Brendan and I are, other than the fact I'm in love with the guy. I curse at myself for being so stupid, can't believe how much of myself I've gave to Brendan, I've even spoke about my past. Things that only a few select people know about, I thought if I opened up he would aswell and I thought he did but clearly he's still purposely keeping things from me.
The flats empty when I get in and I'm guessing Sinead is at Tony's, I heat up a packet of micro noodles, not the healthiest of things but it's quick to make and it saves me doing dishes. I can feel my phone vibrating in my pocket but I don't bother checking it, not really caring who it is but I can still feel the rush of hope that it's Brendan. It is, I've got five missed calls from him but I shake my head, I refuse to crumble to him again, he knows where I stay and I don't doubt that he'll turn up if he needs me. I'm still not sure what I'm angry at him for the most, the fact he's not telling me or that he threatened Sinead. Think it's a bit of both.
Brendan's point of view
I'm pissed off, with myself, Sinead and Steven. Especially myself, I know I should probably just tell him the only thing I was worried about was scaring him off but it looks like either way I'm going to lose him.
I wish Sinead just kept her big mouth shut and her nose out of my buisness, I could've been talking about anything when she was listening in. Then again, maybe threatening her was too much, I could have just asked her not to tell him but I panicked and the only thing I could think of to shut her up was fource. It looks like that has made matters worse.
I drink whiskey after whiskey not caring that the customers are looking at me funnily, it isn't very often that the staff are more drunk than the punters. Cheryl keeps a wary eye on me but doesn't say a word, probably scared I wince a little at that, since when was I that bad that my own sister was scared of me. I drain the rest of the glass and decide that's my last, at least for the now. I'm going to need a sober mind to sort this out properly, I'm sick of running from these problems. Maybe it would be best that I went back to Ireland, seen the boys. Let Steven find someone normal, let him find a person that deserves him.
I serve at the bar, distracting myself and making the night go in faster. When we're closing up Cheryl wraps her arms around my shoulders, "What's up Bren?" she asks me softly.
"Sinead told Steven." I grunt.
She grins but then frowns, "Oh babe does he not feel the same about you?" she asks, generally looks taken aback.
"She didn't tell him that Chez, she told him I threatened her." I tell her and she looks at me angrily before pouring us both a whiskey each.
"So you threatened Sinead?" she says shaking her head, "If I didn't know you so well I'd be annoyed, but I know it was an empty threat."
"I'd never lay a hand on a woman." I say nodding and she gives me a smile to let me know she believes me, "I just got scared, I had to think of something that would stop her telling him."
"It's not a bad thing to love someone Brendan." she says, grasping my hand, "If you'd just let him in."
"Wh- What if he doesn't feel the same?" I ask, voice cracking with emotion.
"Then he'd be mad." she says, "Maybe I'm not an expert but even I can see when you's are together you's barley even notice anything else."
"He just makes me forget everything." I say, "I don't want to live without him." I can't believe I'm talking about this, especially to Cheryl. If I got told a couple of months ago that I was going to feel like this I would have laughed the person in the face.
"Then you need to tell him. Explain to him and he might understand." she whispers.
"It would help if he'd answer my calls." I mutter, I've already phoned multiple times I don't want to seem like any more of a stalker.
"Go to his house." she says like it's that simple, "Infact sober up first." she struts away back into the office with the takings to put them in the safe and I rest my head in my hands. I'm going to need to have a long, hard think.