Chapter 19

Ste's point of view

I've been avoiding Brendan, I can't help it, I've been having a argument with myself on if I should tell Brendan I love him back or not. I don't want to put my whole heart into this only for it to be shattered.

I trust Brendan, but only to a certain extent, not enough to open up to him about this, but then again Brendan made the first step and told me, days ago. I try to shake myself, I'm being pathetic, I need to tell him, it's a leap of faith but I think.. no I'm sure it'll be worth it. He's sent me text after text, summoning a conversation and I've been distant with him, giving him one word answers at times, there's always an excuse to cut the conversation short.

I worked up the guts to tell him after we had dinner with Ames and the kids, but he barley acknowledged me and became detached all of a sudden. So now I'm sitting not sure whether to pick up the phone and talk to him or get him over or if I should just wait until he comes to me.

I phone him, it rings a few times before I hear his voice, "Steven?" he asks, I can tell I've caught him off guard.

"Yeah, you busy?" I ask him, partly hoping that he is.

"No, just didn't expect ye to call.. The past few days I can't move the feeling that you've been avoiding me." he says, accusation in his voice.

"Yeah.. I have." no point lying, "Sorry it's just.."

"Ye don't need to explain to me, I get it Steven." he grunts,

"No ya don't, just listen to me.." I start to explain but he cuts me off,

"I told ye I loved ye and ye weren't ready to hear it. Maybe ye wouldn't ever be ready for it but I had to tell ye." he starts rambling on, I can tell already he's nervous.

"Bren shut up for a minute." I say raising my voice, he grunts which I take is my que to carry on, "Come over to the flat I need to talk to ya." I can't say this over the phone but I doubt it'll be easier to do in person.

"If your ending things with me just tell me now." he tells me,

"I'm not!" I shout at him, then tell him in a softer tone, "Just come over right."

"Okay, I'll see ye soon." he says and I hear a shake in his voice. It's hard to think that someone like Brendan Brady would love someone like me.

We're probably complete opposites, but I can't help but feel drawn to him and I guess it's the same for him. I'm sick of fighting my feelings for him, the best thing to do is just go with it, if it fucks up at least I can say I tried. That's why when there's a knock on the door I don't even look through the peep hole, I swing the door open and he's standing there looking hot as fuck but has a sheepishness about him that he can't hide.

I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a peck on his lips, he looks surprised and I know what I'm about to say will probably surprise him further. "I love ya too." I say simply,

He fights a grin before burying his face into my neck and placing a kiss near my pulse point. I don't know who makes the next move but next thing I know I'm pressed against the wall, Brendan pressing his groin against mine creating a friction between us and kissing me with more passion than he has before.

Brendan's point of view

I wake up in Stevens bed, while he quietly snores beside me, I can't believe my luck. I had always thought I was unloveable, had never gave anyone a chance to love me for me, always kept a part of me secret to everyone, I'm glad that it turned out to be Steven that I fell in love with, even from the first night we spent together he made a permanent space for himself.

I thought that if he knew the truth about me that he'd run away, he would see I was a horrible person but the more he gets to know me the more he's proving me wrong, the more I tell him the more I feel comfortable around him.

' I love ya.. Ya know that now right?'

The flashback of Steven whispering it to me after our second round, pressing a kiss against my heart before running his fingers through the hair on my chest.

I sweep his hair away from his forehead, his normally defined quiff now flattened with the amount of times I've ran my hands through it. He's still sleeping, looks at piece with the world. I can't take my eyes away from him, I can't help but think he's perfect. Maybe not to everyone, but he's prefect to me.. For me.

I make myself promise that I will never let him get hurt, I'll always look out for him, even if he doesn't want me too.

His eyes flicker open, and he rolls onto his side to face me, giving me a smile that I've never seen before. One that compels me to smile back and I can't help but think that I want to wake up to this everyday of my life. Quite embarrassing thinking this, I always laughed at people who said things like that, people that claimed to fall in love but now I know what it feels like. He nuzzles against my chest lazily, I think he might still be half asleep.

"Steven?" I say in a husky whisper, building up the guts to ask him out for dinner again.

"Yeah?" he asks, opening his eyes but quickly shutting them again soft smile still on his face.

"I was thinking, Chez has got a new man and I thought maybe we could all have dinner?" I say, this isn't a double date, even though Cheryl was adamant that it was.

"Yeah, mind if we just stay in though?" he asks me.

"What ye mean? Today?" I ask him feeling confused.

"Well yeah but I mean when we're havin dinner, I could just cook for us. Instead of all the hassle of going out?" he says to me.

It's a good idea but spells out disaster, it'll take the pressure off right enough, knowing we don't need to keep up appearances to other people, so I agree to it. "Yeah sounds good, I'll speak to Chez about what day."

"Okay, you still tired?" he asks, a filthy smirk on his face.

"Not really, got other things on my mind instead of sleeping." I say, rubbing my erection against his leg to make it obvious. He looks a bit surprised and I don't understand why, I roll on top of him kissing him deeply as I do so, feeling him smile against my mouth as he presses his body against mine. Telling me he's up for this just as much as I am.