Chapter 20
Ste's point of view
"I need to take a shower Steven, ye can go wait in the room if ye want." Brendan says as we walk into his flat, giving me a shy smile before going into the bathroom.
I walk into the kitchen and boil the kettle. I'm searching the drawers for cutlery when I come across what looks like a flight ticket. It's exactly that, Brendan's name, flight to Dublin. In two days time.
I put the ticket back down and close the drawer, leaning against the table, I can't believe he's going to Dublin in two days time and hasn't even told me, I know we're not exactly long term committed, or we've not spoken much about it at least. I'm not mad that he's going to Dublin, it's that he's going and hasn't told me.
We know how each other feel but we've never properly spoke about our relationship, Brendan's always ignoring it and when someone else brings it up he avoids it. I finish pouring myself a cup of tea and make my way into Brendan's bedroom.
Making myself comfortable on the bed and just lying there sipping at my tea and waiting for Brendan to come in. He comes back in smug as fuck look on his face, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
He takes a seat next to me on the bed before leaning over to me, cupping my face and going in for a kiss. I back away from him at the last second, look him straight in the eyes and ask him, "Why didn't ya tell me you were goin' to Dublin?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.
He sits back, looking surprised. "Ye went through my things?" he grunts.
Shit, I should've known he'd think of something to bring it back round to me, "I weren't doing my nosey or anything. I made myself tea and had to find a spoon." I explain to him, he can't blame me for that.
He runs his hands through his hair and let's out a deep sigh, "I was going to tell ye, I just couldn't find the right time."
"No way, are ya moving back over there for good?" I ask, didn't even think that maybe he might not be coming back.
"No." he says back plainly, like he's not even going to explain but then he gives me a tight smile, "I bought them the day after I told ye I loved ye, but then ye started avoiding me.."
"What are ya talkin about?" I ask him, completely lost.
"I bought us both a ticket. You and me." he says to me.
"Oh." Thats the only thing I can think of to say, I'm completely in shock.
"So? Don't leave me hanging here." he mutters, looking sheepish.
"Ya want to go to Dublin? With me?" I ask him, just to make sure, he nods a wide grin spreading across his face. "Well I guess we're goin to Dublin then." I say shrugging and letting my own grin spread onto my face.
He presses a kiss into my temple before working his way to my lips, kissing me roughly, not holding anything back. He pulls back to look at me, and I feel myself heating up from the look, he's got the most intense look on his face and I don't even recognise the expression. He doesn't once break the eye contact as he starts to prepare me, with his fingers and loads of lube.
"I don't get how ye still so tight Steven." he says gruffly into my ear, his moustache tickling against my cheek.
"Can't help it.." I hiss through gritted teeth.
He frowns at me before giving me another kiss, "I love it." he whispers and it sends shivers down my spine. "I love ye." he says like he's correcting himself.
"I love ya too." I whimper as my hand works it's way between our body's grasping Brendan's member. I give it a long, slow stroke at first, teasing him a bit and he opens his mouth as if to speak but then thinks better of it and bites down on my lip before licking into my mouth. My hand starts pumping him up, moving faster until Brendan removes his fingers from my entrance and lines himself up.
It's still new to us doing it without a condom, the first we hadn't even realised until afterwards but every time from then it's intentional, he was the first male I hadn't used protection with. Even with the unnamed one night stands I used protection and if neither of us had a condom, I wouldn't do it.
That's not the case with me and Brendan though, there's condoms in the beside drawer, and we both know it. Brendan's eyes flicker towards it but I give him a kiss, shutting down his thoughts. I trust him enough to know that if there were any chance he had anything then he wouldn't risk it, and it goes both ways.
The first initial push is overwhelming and he thrusts slowly into me, I feel completely paralysed, not able to move, but I can and I do. Wrapping my legs around his back and pulling him closer to me, causing him to push into me all the way and release a stuttered, "Fuck."
I dig my nails into his shoulders while he starts thrusting, and I feel my climax building up already, him hammering into that spot everytime, with every thrust. Sex with Brendan is always good, it never feels like a task like it sometimes did with Doug.
It's always interesting, and even though there's a big difference between me and Brendan- I mean looking at us you would think he could break me in half- but we seem to fit perfectly.
He knows exactly what to do to make me feel like I'm floating, even after months of this he still drives me wild. He kisses me softly and caresses along my abs, but thrusts into me hard and fast not once relenting, his nails digging into my hip as he holds it firmly in place. It shows the two different sides to him, rough and almost animal like but also caring and gentle when he wants to be.
Our foreheads are pressed together, and I try to stop myself from panting and moaning but I can't help it and he grins at me while I moan his name, like it's an achievement.
I can tell he's close, his thrusts become uncoordinated and his grip on me slackens, he doesn't hold in his groans of pleasure either. "Come for me Steven." he says huskily, while wanking me off.
And I do, my come shooting straight onto his chest and I release an almighty moan or whimper, not one hundred percent sure what it was. He thrusts into me, not once relenting before he comes into me, resting his head against my collarbone while we both catch our breath.
Neither of us make any effort to move and after a few minutes pass I feel myself slipping into a restful sleep.
Brendan's point of view
I wake up, the sun slipping through the small gap in the curtains, Steven beneath me and I slowly start to remember what went on. I finally told him about Dublin and about time too, I had partly kept it secret because I didn't want Steven to feel like he had to come with me. I'm not stupid I know the lad cares about me, I can see it whenever he looks at me, he wears his heart on his sleeve but there's times where he can be unreadable, stubborn as fuck.
When he found the ticket I panicked, thinking he had seen both of them, and was mad but then he thought I wasn't coming back. He was mad because he thought I was keeping it from him when really I just didn't know how to ask him. I've never been a man of many words, I speak better through actions and when I decided I was going to surprise Steven I wondered what to get him. How to show him I cared, and it came to me, taking him to Dublin and letting him have a small insight into how my life used to be.
Steven's always spoke freely about his past, his abusive step father and alcoholic mum. His joyriding days and how he got sent to juvy, how he had never met his dad, how he always had the fear that anyone he came across could be his father. How the teachers would never waste their time with him, because that's what they thought of Steven Hay, a waste of space, he told me about how people thought he was stupid, when really he was dyslexic. How because he wore tracksuits and didn't have the best of gear people assumed he was a scally, a troublemaker so that's what he became.
He didn't know as much about my past, he knew me and Chez had different ma's the same dad, that he left me and my ma for Cheryl's ma and Cheryl. He didn't know that my ma got depressed after that and I had to look after her, before it got too much and I had to stay with my da. He knew that my da smacked me about now and then, he didn't know it happened frequently or the venomous words that used to spill from my da's lips calling me a poof, fairy, queer. He knew I had a hard time accepting that I was gay and that more than once I had raised my hands to past lovers, he didn't know that I had beat the shit out of them for simple things like touching me on the hand in public.
He knows I hated my da, that I still do but he definitely doesn't know that the main reason is because my da raped me, not once or twice but countless amounts of times.
I can't help the darkness that falls over me when I think about that.. And when I look at Steven I realise exactly what he is, he's the light of my life, shining bright and sometimes he's able to bring me out of the dark that I've been so used to.
His smile could brighten anyone's day, and I can't help but think that he's the best thing that's ever happened to me.. I try to ignore the voice at the back of my head telling me that he'll leave, that one way or another he'll realise what I am or he'll see that I'm not good enough for someone like him and he'll be gone.
But I know deep down that he does care, that I can make him happy. That maybe in time I'll be able to open up more and he'll maybe accept me. He wakes up then, as if knowing I was looking at him deeply. He opens his eyes and finds mine straight away, a beaming smile spreading across his face that I need to return.
"Hiya." he says leaning up for a kiss.
I grunt back at him before giving him another kiss, my arms wrapping around him, holding him tightly. I rest my head between his shoulder and neck, just breathing in his scent. He holds me back and after a couple of minutes pass he asks, "Bren are ya alright?"
I pull away enough to look at his face and I can see the concern there, "Yeah I am." I answer, not completely sure if I am or not. He studies me for a moment then gives me a lopsided smile and I can see he doesn't believe me but he doesn't push further.
"I gotta go to the deli.." he says slowly moving from underneath me.
"I thought it was your day off?" I ask, frowning.
"Yeah but that were before I knew we was goin to Dublin." he says smiling coyly, "I gotta go grovel to Doug, ya know what he's like, he'll hold this against me."
"When do ye ever take a break Steven? Most of the time your in there yourself while Douglas is swanning off with his fiancée." I murmur, it's true and Cheryl's noticed it aswell.
"Yeah well I'm thinkin it might be best we hire someone part time." he says to me and I still don't move off him.
"Know what ye need to do." I tell him in a voice that states 'do not argue with this' "Ye need to think more about you.. Phone Douglas tell him I surprised ye with a weekend away, your taking the time off no discussion." I can't help what I'm saying but I'm not doing it to be controlling, Steven deserves a break.
"Bren, ya know I can't do that." he says, "Now move so I can get to work."
"No." I say bluntly, "Your cooking for us tonight aswell, your in work tomorrow. When was the last time ye had more that one day off? Just to take a break?"
"That's what happens when your the boss though Bren, I appreciate that ya care enough to try and trap me in your bed but I'm going end of." he says pouting and he knows that I can't argue with him when he's got that look.
I roll off him and he kisses me giving me a grin and hoping out of bed, in nothing but a pair of socks, he grins at me when he catches me looking and I curse under my breath at the fact he needs to go to work. I decide to roll over and bury my head into my pillow. There isn't any noise apart from Stevens footsteps around the room but then I feel a warmth at my neck and soft, warm lips.
"I thought ye were goin to work?" I grunt sitting up just enough to see him.
"I were just saying bye." he says and gives me another kiss this time on the lips.
"Ye comin here after ye finish?" I ask cupping his cheek.
"Yeah." he says softly, and I give him another kiss.
"See ye." I mutter and he smirks at me as he goes out the bedroom door. I drop my head back into the pillow when I hear the front door opening and closing.
Ste's point of view
Doug isn't happy that much is obvious.
"You can reschedule Ste." he groans, "I can't run this place on my own."
"Yeah but ya ain't worryin about what I'm gonna do when your on your honeymoon are ya?" I snap.
"You've had plenty of time to sort out help, you've left it until two days before your leaving." he moans at me,
"Doug I'm only goin to be gone for a few days, your away for a whole two weeks and I didn't moan once about it. You've had plenty of extra days off and I've not once brought it up." I sneer at him, "When I'm ill I come in, when I'm havin a bad day I'm in. I'm askin for a break."
"I wouldn't complain if you gave me notice." he mutters.
I'm starting to get sick of this, not once have I complained even when he's sent me a text on the morning saying he won't be in that day. Or the several times that he's went to America and has left it till the last minute to tell me. I decide I'm standing my ground,
"Listen Doug I don't care what ya say, I'm goin and that's the end of it." I tell him and he looks at me in shock as though he doubts I'm being serious, "If you ruin this for me, there's no way I'll cover for you when your on your honeymoon."
And with that I walk out the deli leaving him to his own thoughts, if he had at least understood then I would've let him away and I would've done the afternoon shift but he can forget about that now.
I pick up some of the ingredients I'm needing for tonight's dinner out of price slice before phoning Brendan to let him know I'm on my way to his the now, he grunts and I'm not sure if he's just woke up or if he's just grumpy.
When I get to his I realise he's just out of bed, his hair tousled and I'm guessing it's probably from me tugging on it while we were at it earlier on. He gives me a soft smile when he sees me, placing a kiss on the corner of my lips and it makes my stomach flutter and my heart speed up. It's the simple things like pecks on the lips that reminds me why I do love Brendan.
I rest my head on his chest, and after he nudges me a few times and asks what's wrong I tell him about Doug's reaction. I feel him tense and when I look at his face, his jaw is clenched.
"Bren.." I say weakly.
"Who does he think he is Steven?" he sneers, "Does he not know he can't talk to ye that way." I open my mouth to say something when he speaks again, "He ain't the boss of ye Steven, Infact I'm goin to go round and see him.."
"No Brendan just leave it." I say, my grip tightening on his arm, "I've already told him right, I'm goin whether he likes it or not." he visibly relaxes at that.
"So ye will still come?" he asks quietly.
"Yeah course." I tell him, thought it would be obvious.
He lets out a deep breath, "I don't want ye losing Douglas over this Steven.."
"I won't." I tell him, "Plus I want to go, as you said I need a break."
He nods in understanding before spotting the bag beside me, "What ye makin then Chef?" he asks.
"I was thinking sirloin steaks and mashed potatoes with vegetables. You can make the salad?" I offer him.
"Sounds good." he grins, "Cheryl will be home in an hour and Nathan will be here at Seven."
"Okay so I've got plenty of time." I sigh, "Fruit truffle and ice creme for dessert, that alright?" I ask him already knowing the answer.
"That'll be perfect Steven." he says back and he's looking at me so intensely that I get lost in his eyes.
I unpack the ingredients and take the steaks out the freezer to defrost.
"We cooking the now or do we have time to.." he leaves the question in the air and bite down on my lip.
"Cheryl will be back soon." I say to him while taking my jacket off.
"We can be quick?" he offers
I raise an eyebrow at him, "Let's just wait until tonight."
"Steven.." he groans as if that will change my mind.
"It'll be worth the wait." I say back before giving him a playful shove.
"Promises, promises." he says with a straight face but I can see the glint in his eyes and the hint of excitement.
I stand infront of him and this time he raises his eyebrow, I go onto my tip toes to give him a kiss but he pulls back and smirks at me, I try again but he turns his face away.
"Fine be that way then." I say pulling away form him.
"This is the second time your knocking me back today, is this what I've got to look forward to?" He smirks at me,
"Your acting as if your a man starved." I can't stop from laughing at him and shaking my head.
We get started on the salad and I put it into a bowl before wrapping tin foil around it and sitting it in the fridge to keep it fresh. Then we get started on the vegetables, him chopping them while I boil them. He peels the skin off the potatoes before putting them into a separate pot to boil.
When Cheryl comes in and sees us her face it a picture, "Oh my gay." she says before letting out a childish giggle.
Brendan makes a huffing sound beside me before scowling at me.
"What?" I say looking between them both.
"I can't believe it Ste, he never cooks. Apart from the odd fry up but for some reason you can get him to help you do all this." she says pointing to the pots. "You have a gift."
"Shut up Chez." Brendan groans which makes her smile more.
"I'm away for a shower. I'll see you's two at dinner." she says grinning.
"We're going to be getting ready aswell Chez." Brendan says, "It's not like were not going to bump into each other in the hallway or anything."
"Well I should hope so, your hairs a mess Bren." she says while running her fingers through it and looking at me with a raised eyebrow then making her way upstairs.
Brendan mutters something under his breath but I can't make it out and I'm guessing that was probably intentional.
"I've still got me trousers and shirt here haven't I?" I ask to break the silence.
"Yeah." he says giving me a soft smile, "I'm going to make sure everything is alright at the club I won't be long."
Before I get the chance to say anything he's got his jumper on and is out the door. I have no clue where my clothes are and I don't want to disturb Cheryl but they can't be far. I check the clothes horse, the washing basket, all over Brendan's room before I give up and guess I'm going to need to ask Cheryl.
"Cheryl?" I shout outside the bathroom door, I hear her make some sort of noise of acknowledgement, "D'ya know where my trousers and shirt is?" I ask.
She opens the door and sticks her head out, "Have ye asked Brendan?"
"I were goin to but he went to check on the club." I explain.
"Oh em, I'm not sure they should be about somewhere, I washed them the other day." she says and I can see her racking her brain to think.
"It's alright I'll phone him and ask." I tell her giving her a small smile.
His phone rings out and I'm half tempted to just go home and find something else to wear when Cheryl comes in the room, housecoat wrapped around her "Ye found them yet love?" she asks me, her hair dripping wet.
"Not yet.. Brendan isn't answering either." I mutter.
"I swear that man does things like this on purpose." she sighs, "I'll check his drawers you check his wardrobe."
I move towards his wardrobe but the only things that are in it is his suits, shirts and jeans. No sign of any of my things.
"Ste.." Cheryl says and when I turn around to look at her she makes a gesture for me to come towards her, I wonder what it is until I see in the bottom drawer is a pile of my clothes, the rest of it is empty, it only has my things in it. "Awww he's given you your own drawer." she grins.
I don't want to make this a big deal but to me it kind of is, the last thing I should do is bring it up to Brendan though, "He probably put it in there by accident." I say shaking my head at her.
"The last I checked this was his underwear drawer." she says and raises and eyebrow, then her face breaks into a smile and pulls me into her arms, "Ste I never thought this would ever happen."
"Really is isn't a big deal." I tell her and her grip tightens around me.
"I'm not talking about the bloody drawer. I'm talking about you and my brother, I thought he was going to be alone forever." she says pulling away to look at me, "but I can tell its not going to be like that now is it?"
Brendan's point of view
I'm heading back from the club when my phone starts ringing, it's only then I notice the missed call from Steven. It's not him calling though it's an unknown number, normally I wouldn't answer but I do this time.
I don't say anything just put the phone to my ear, "Dad? It's Declan are ye there?"
"Yeah son, what's wrong? Is everything okay with your ma?" I ask him, there must be a reason why he's phoning.
"Yeah everything's fine. Well I'm phoning cause, I'm finishing school next week and I thought maybe I could come over to England?" he asks, he's been over once since I've moved here and after that Eileen didn't let him back over again, said that he was too rebellious afterwards, talking about how he wanted to be like me when he grew up.
For a second I was happy about that, my son wanting to be like me until I remembered I don't even want to be me never mind my son. So me and Eileen came to an agreement, I visit the kids at her house, can take them out for a few hours but they can't stay overnight.
"Ye spoke to your ma?" I ask him,
"Yeah she said she had phoned and said I wanted to come over." he says.
"Yeah course, I'm gonna be in Dublin for a few days." I say to him, not knowing how to approach the Steven subject.
"Oh yeah? What for?" he asks, "I could come to Dublin and meet you then we could come back together?"
I panic, how do I tell him I'm going to Dublin with my.. boyfriend? "Listen Deccy this is a bad time, I'll call ye back later tonight?"
"Yeah cool, talk to ye soon dad." he says calmly.
I get into the flat and there's no sign of Steven or Chez until I walk into my room and see them, Cheryl smiling at him and he's got a confused look on his face. That's when I notice to drawer is open, the drawer with Stevens things in it, shit.
I clear my throat and they both turn to me, Cheryl looking at me in a way I've not seen before, "I better go get ready." she says as a way of an explanation.
Steven looks uneasy like he doesn't know how to approach this, "I was going to tell ye I had your things in a drawer. It makes sense doesn't it? Ye spend most nights here so I thought I should make a bit of space for your things." I blurt out and when I look at him he gives me a soft smile.
"Alright." he says, shrugging, and that's the end of it, he doesn't make a big song and dance about it and I'm thankful. He takes his polo shirt out the drawer and his pair of jeans, putting them on the bed.
"Steven.. I need to talk to ye." I sigh while stretching out on my bed, he takes a seat next to me and looks at me expectingly.
"What's up?" he asks confused again.
"Declan, my kid. He's going to be coming over.." I sigh, not knowing how to carry on with it, "I was thinking it would maybe be best if ye keep your distance." I hate myself for doing this.
"What.. What are you trying to say?" He asks with a frown.
"He's wanting to come over and I think it would just confuse him if ye were around." I close my eyes waiting for his reaction.
I feel him jump off the bed, "So your ashamed of me?" he hisses.
"It's not that, it's just.." I can't even finish the sentence. "I don't know how to explain to him."
"He's turning eighteen is he not?" he asks and I hum in reply, "Well I think he kinda knows by now how it works."
"Yeah but I've never introduced.." I ignore the voice at the back of my head, my dads voice "I've never introduced a boyfriend to him before, to anyone. It's nothing to do with you it's me."
"How classic Bren." he replies back dryly.
I take his face in both hands, "Just listen, I love ye Steven okay, but it's going to take time for me."
He nods at me but I can see he isn't happy with it, "So what've I to do then?" he grunts.
"He wants me to meet him in Dublin but I'll just get him to come from Belfast to here, he can spend sometime with Chez then when we get back we'll just ye know not be as attached." I explain, "I will tell him, I just need the right moment."
"How long is he coming over for?" he asks me.
"A week, two weeks top?" I say back to him.
"Fine, I'm not happy about been kept in the shadows by the way Brendan." he says while picking up his clothes and walking out of the room.
I decide to get ready for tonight and I can phone Declan later on and let him know later on.
I don't see Steven again until later on, have no clue where he went to get ready but he's in the kitchen, cooking the stakes, I can smell it as soon as I walk down the hall.
Him and Cheryl are standing by the cooker, they've been getting closer recently, there's some sort of bond between them that I don't quite understand but it's better than them not getting along.
"Smells good." I say when neither of them seem to notice I'm standing there.
Steven just chews down on his lip while Cheryl grins at me.
"I've told you once and I'll tell you again, he's a keeper."
I smile a bit at her but notice Steven still hasn't looked at me, Cheryl seems to sense some kind of tension between us as she quickly makes her way to the bathroom.
"Can ye at least pretend your not mad at me?" I ask him quietly.
He busies himself with flipping one of the stakes in the frying pan, "I'm not." he says in a grumpy tone.
"Yeah ye are, look at ye in a wee sulk." I say, laughing at how pathetic it is. He looks at me then, frowns then looks away again.
"This distance thing might actually be a good idea." he snaps.
"And what does that mean?" I grunt, can feel this escalating into an argument already.
"Maybe we do need some space away from each other." he says a guilty look passing across his face.
"What about Dublin?" I ask, can't help but feel vulnerable now.
"I don't know.." he says closing his eyes.
"Is this what I think it is?" I ask,
"What?" he grunts back.
"Are ye dumping me?" I ask him and he makes a noise that sounds like a laugh.
He looks at me again, and he is laughing, I feel myself flush in embarrassment, "We had an argument Brendan, it isn't the end of the world."
I go to reply but Cheryl comes in, a guilty look on her face but she soon covers it with a toothy grin. Shortly after the door knocks and Cheryl struts over, introducing the man that I now know as Nathan.
Well she names him Nate but I've never been one for using nicknames, I don't like him, he's posh and normally I would be glad about that but I can't help but wonder what someone like him sees in Chez, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with my sis but she's common as muck.
He has a nasally voice and holds a semi-pout on his face. As though he has something sour in his mouth. I don't realise that I've been staring him out the full time and in that time Steven's introduced himself and is nudging me.
I turn my head sharply to look at him and he frowns at me as though to say 'what are you playing at'. So I turn back to 'Nate' and give him my best smile, not to mention the fact it makes me look a little bit insane.
I squeeze his hand and he gives me a tight smile, "I'm Brendan, Cheryl's brother." I hold his hand in a tight grip for a few minutes as an underlying threat before releasing it.
"I've heard about you Brendan." he says in that voice.
Cheryl looks at me with wide eyes before mouthing 'behave' so I decide to grunt and take my place at the table. The meal passes by quickly, Cheryl bringing the salad through while Steven finishes up the steaks before bringing them through and giving us a plate each, the fact that he's cooked mine exactly the way that I like it, cooked but it's that way that when I cut into it a bit of blood oozes out, normally that would put people off but with a steak its completely different.
I remember the first time I ate it infront of Steven, 'Bren that's rank' he said slurring, he had already drank several beers and could barley string a sentence together.
I look at him and we exchange a look before Steven keeps the conversation going around the table, I keep my eyes on Nathan, trying to suss him out. After the meal I take the plates to wash them and when I come back in, Cheryl and Nate have already got their jackets on.
"We're just going to the dog." Cheryl says to me innocently, "Ye can come if ye want."
I look towards Steven but he doesn't seem that fussed, "It's alright, I'll see ye later sis." I say giving her and Nate a tight smile.
Nathan moves to shake my hand again but Cheryl quickly slaps it away before smiling innocently at him.
"Nice to meet you Brendan, Ste. The meal was lovely." Nate says before my sisters unapologetically dragging him out the door.
"What were that all about?" Steven asks with a frown.
"I have no idea." I grunt back a frown of my own on my face.
"Ya don't like him do ya?" he asks,
"Not really." I grunt, "Was it obvious?"
"Well yeah, I kept the conversation goin the full night. You just kept staring at your plate and when you weren't you were burning holes in Nate's face." he replies back, there's an edge to his voice that I've never heard before.
"And ye think he's right for Chez?" I snap at him.
"Well I don't know it's really up to her int it.." he says softly, as if he doesn't want to come across wrong.
"I'm going to make sure she doesn't see him again." I decide, grunt it to him.
His face screws up, "Why would ya do that? D'ya not want her to be happy?"
"Why are ye getting involved Steven?!" I shout, "This has nothing to do with ye"
"Yeah your right, and it's got nout to do with you either." he hisses back, "How would you like it if Cheryl done that with you? If ya couldn't see how happy she were earlier then obviously your not as smart as ya think ya are!"
I can feel my temper slipping and can imagine hitting him, can feel myself ready to do it but instead I sneer at him, "Get out." I'm not sure if I've said it at first because he just looks at me frowning but then he barges past me and as I watch him walk out I think maybe he'll look back and realise I don't want him to leave.
But he doesn't, he just keeps walking and the door slams behind him.