Chapter 2: Ego's Perspective

Ego's pristine white spaceship cut through the vast expanse of space with ease as its master gazed outward, focusing on nothing in particular. He was only a few hours from the planet Earth, where his human mate likely awaited his return. The thought of being with her again sent a rush of unexpected excitement throughout his body. Meredith. A creature unlike any other I have ever met, Ego mused as he continued to stare aimlessly at the passing planets and ships. Though loathe to admit it, Ego was quite fond of the human woman, which is why he was on his way to Earth yet again. This would be his third trip specifically to visit his River Lily. Ego's dedication to this earthling was starting to concern him. She is only a temporary distraction, he reminded himself. She is a mortal, and of a short-lived species, too. My mission will continue as it has since the day I first realized it. The thought made him sadder than he expected, and he sighed in frustration. When did I become so easily swayed?

Ego ambled to the front of his ship, knowing he was still some distance from the Solar System yet feeling compelled to check his ETA anyway. He settled into the captain's chair, which happened to be the only chair in the compartment, as he always travelled alone. Sure enough, the console showed the remaining travel time at 2 Earth hours. He always programed his ship to show time in that of the intended destination to help him acclimate to the world he was heading towards, a trick he had picked up when he began making return trips to planets. Being a Celestial, he had never had need for measuring time until he began to interact with mortals. Only when time can run out is there a need for measuring time. He smiled ruefully.

The smile slipped from his face as he thought about how much "time" he had wasted trying to father offspring with the various species that inhabited the expanse of space. Millions of children, and all had been failures so far. He was running out of intelligent species, and he really didn't want to wait millions of years for new ones to evolve. Peter is one of the only hopes I have left. For Meredith's sake, I hope he inherited my Celestial energy. He couldn't bear to imagine how sad Meredith would be if her beloved son were to die. But they all die in the end. Only he alone had survived unending, at least that he had found so far. Although, if Peter DID inherit my energy, he will outlive Meredith so long that she will likely fade from his memory after a while. It was a disquieting thought. Will I forget Meredith in a few millennia if I don't actively work to remember her? Am I capable of forgetting?

Overwhelmed by the thoughts worming their way into his carefully designed skull, he lurched to his feet and headed to the back. Earth was on the horizon, and he wanted to sneak in a refresher course on Earth cultures and customs before landing. While Meredith knew the truth of his existence, he'd rather not let the entire human race know that aliens were real. Not yet. They had hardly begun to dabble in space exploration. No need to spoil the surprise that was coming, particularly not if he was able to find an heir to his energy and glorious mission. What is that human saying? Ignorance is bliss? Yes, I'll let them have their bliss. One day I'll remake their existence into my own, but for now, I must leave them to their own devices. With that thought in mind, he sat down on his couch and pulled up his notes on humanity and Earth.

Before he knew it, the ship was issuing an impending arrival alert. Ego dismissed his Earth notes and made his way back to the control room. His ship was gliding over a snow-covered forest, decreasing its speed dramatically as it began to descend into a small clearing. Not for the first time, Ego was pleased with his foresight to make the spaceship so small. Finding a space to land was rarely a problem. As he made his way towards the door, he glanced back to check the external temperature and adjusted his internal temperature to compensate for the lower temperatures of the planet. The icy winter winds struck him suddenly as he exited the ship, and he raised his internal temperature a few degrees higher just to be safe. Ego shouldered into the wind, heading for Meredith's house only a few hundred yards away.

As Ego reached the front door, he paused. Inside, he heard the ticking of the clock and the low rumble of the furnace, but otherwise the house was still. Meredith did always go to bed early, even for a human. Something about being early to rise and becoming healthy. Humans have so many sayings for such a primitive species. Still, he found her sayings to be endearing, particularly her often-quoted songs. Ego opened the door and went inside. Reluctant to wake Meredith just yet, he decided to feed his physical form. As he began to rummage through the refrigerator, he heard a gasp. He turned around to see Meredith in her pink bathrobe, clutching it to her as though she had seen a ghost. His heart skipped a beat. She looks just the same as I left her.

"Ego!" whispered Meredith. Ego opened his arms to embrace her as she ran towards him. He pulled her close and inhaled deeply, surprised by how much he had missed the smell of her hair.

"I've missed you, my River Lily." He heightened the sensitivity of his nerve endings so that he could take in every sensation from their contact. He allowed a few moments to pass, drinking in the moment. Finally, he pulled back slightly to see Meredith's radiant face. "I haven't been able to stop thinking of you, my dear," he admitted truthfully. Only moments of active work towards his purpose granted him relief from her presence in his mind. I will never know how I came to be so obsessed with this woman.

"I've missed you too, Ego. So, so much. I've searched the stars every night for the last few weeks. I knew you'd be coming back soon!" Ego smiled wider, pleased to know that Meredith had missed him nearly as much as he had missed her. She took his hands. "Are you hungry? I can make you a sandwich or something."

Leave it to Meredith to remember what he had been doing when she found him. His River Lily is a kind, compassionate being. "I'd really appreciate that."

Ego took a seat at the small table, watching as Meredith bustled around the kitchen in a practiced manner. Sneaking a glance at him, she struck up a conversation. "How have you been? How is your planet?"

She's always been fascinated with the stars and my stories of space travel. Then again, they all are. "It was good. I've been good." Ego inwardly cringed at the lie. I can't tell her about the others, or my children. She's only a human. Her compassion for others would outweigh her love for me. Meredith would likely make the connection to Peter, and where would that leave us? Letting her believe that I live on a populated planet is a kindness. "Though I've missed you terribly. I couldn't get back fast enough," he quickly added to compensate for the lie. He watched her carefully, wondering if she could sense how rough the last two years had been. She seemed unaware of his plight as she moved towards him with a sandwich and glass of water. "Thanks, Brandy." He smirked at the reference to her favorite song and reached for the sandwich.

Brandy looked surprised, then said "I suppose I am Brandy now, aren't I? Bringing you food and drink, and waiting for you to drift in to port." Exactly. Interesting that she should love a song that so accurately describes her life. Meredith smiled morosely, "Your planet is the sea, isn't it? Your truest love." Foolish girl, with my purpose, my true sea, I will soon have a million planets. I only need to find a species that I can pass my Celestial power through to the next generation. His annoyance at her suggestion was stronger than he would have anticipated. This was not the first time another had suggested his planet was more important than them. With Meredith, everything becomes more emotional. Absurd.

Meredith reached for his free hand and took hold of it. Ego set down his half-eaten sandwich on the plate and took her hand in both of his. "Meredith, River Lily, you are my first and only love." Of all the creatures I have made love to, you are the one I am closest to, the only one I have ever returned to visit. Yondu has collected all the children I have ever fathered; their mothers have never seen me again. Only you, Meredith, have been able to keep my attention. It may be the closest thing to love I have ever felt. He stared into her eyes, willing her to understand the depth of his feelings for her. "I only return to my planet so that I might have the strength to return to you. I spend all my time away worried that something may have happened to you, that you might not be here when I return. That's why I'm only gone for two years at a time, instead of the four that I should be." Satisfied with his explanation, he let go of her hand and returned to eating.

Meredith must have understood his message, as she smiled brightly at him. It was as though a switch had been flipped, and an unspoken worry had been dispelled. "Ego, can unexperienced space travelers survive on your planet?" Meredith asked suddenly.

Ego look up reflexively, momentarily unable to comprehend what Meredith had just said. She can't be thinking… no, not her too. Maybe I'm overreacting due to past experiences. This is Meredith, not one of the others. I'll let her explain. "Well, I don't know. I don't think any unexperienced space travelers have ever reached my planet. Why do you ask?"

Meredith must have been able to detect his concern, because she stuttered for a moment before attempting to answer. "Well, I was just… just wondering if, well… I mean, maybe Peter and I could come with you next time, live with you on your planet."

Due to the weight of her question, Meredith had looked down, which allowed Ego to hide the flurry of emotions that rushed through him. Rage, despair, and betrayal were just the few that he recognized. Never had he felt so vulnerable. Meredith! You were supposed to be the one who understood! You can't come to live with me, not with what I've had to hid beneath the planet. Not with the guilt of what I've had to do for the purpose. The purpose does not include you, in the end. It can't. Only a single other, my successful offspring, can take part in the purpose. I can't just tell her no, though. I may lose her and our son if I do. Humans have proven to be unpredictable creatures.

Meredith seemed troubled by his silence. "It's just, you always come to see us and you have to commit so much time traveling back to your planet just to survive, but Peter and I won't be hurt by not being on the Earth, so, I just thought…" Ego gave her no reaction, slowly realizing what had to be done. I need to leave you knowing I cared, for both you and our son. I need to have him as an ally when the time comes. I can't have you sabotaging the purpose, and I can't tell you a lie convincing enough to justify why you cannot come with me. Humans are short-lived creatures with so many weaknesses. Their own bodies routinely attack them. Maybe Meredith's body should attack her, too. The idea did not make him happy, but the longer he thought about it, the more confident he was that it was his only option.

"Ego?" queried Meredith, looking apprehensively at him. He shook his head and prepared to do what he must. He began with a big smile and said, "Sorry my dear, I was just thinking about all of the preparations I must make before you and Peter can come to my planet. It's a wonderful idea! I never asked, because I didn't want to make you leave the only home you've ever known."

His response may have been a bit over the top, but Meredith seemed to buy it. She responded with an enthusiastic smile and watering eyes as she rushed to throw herself in his lap. She hugged him so tightly he felt he might lose feeling in his sides. As a final thank you, she kissed him fully, and he could feel her every emotion in the kiss. Knowing it would likely be one of their last, Ego made sure to take in every moment. When she pulled back, he smiled at her and reached his hand up to her head. He forced some of the radioactive energy that he contained within him to move through his body, up his arm, into his hand. He held it there for a moment, knowing there was no turning back when he let go. He gazed into her trusting eyes, and felt a pang of guilt and shame. For a moment, he lost his nerve. This was the woman who brought him back, time and again. She gave him what no other could. Humans are short-lived creatures. She'll be dead in a few decades even if I don't do anything. I'm just speeding up the inevitable. If only she hadn't proposed disrupting my purpose. I love you, Meredith. He released the energy into her head, and felt it's poisonous effects. He pulled her close.

"Brandy, my dear, it's time you join me at sea. I have to return home to procure passports so that you and our son can join me on my planet. It may take me a few Earth years, since the democracy on my planet is tedious, but I know that they'll approve it, especially since we have Peter." When you die, my dear, your body with become one with the soil of this planet. When my purpose is recognized, you will be part of it. Meredith, ignorant of his internal musings, kissed him again, passionately. Ego had to laugh, though it was mirthless. He couldn't stay with her, not with what he had done. He had to get out.

Ego pushed her back gently and looked her in the eye. "Meredith, I know I just got here, but the sooner I start this paperwork and get it submitted, the sooner you and Peter will be able to join me." Please, be as desperate as I am. She clearly wasn't, as she looked as though he had struck her across the face.

"What? You're… you're leaving already? But you haven't even seen Peter yet!" She quickly stood up and started for Peter's room. "You have to see him!" She made for the hallway to Peter's bedroom, but he quickly reached out and grabbed her arm. I can't see him now. Human children are more perceptive than adults. He will know something is wrong. Ego pulled her back to him carefully.

"Meredith, he won't understand if I say hi and then leave. He may never forgive me. Think what that would mean for us on my planet." She had to see how bad it would be for him to get a glance of his father and then have him leave again. If he comes out here and sees us, she may be able to force me to stay, and I'll have to watch what I've done. I can't do that. I may betray the purpose if I have to watch her die.

Meredith sighed and sunk into one of the other chairs. "Fine. I see what you mean. Can I at least say I heard from you, and give him the good news?" Yes, that would help! If he thought that his father was coming back for both of them, having Yondu collect just the boy after Meredith died would be easier on everyone. Peter would be desperate for a parent, and it would simply seem like I was too late to get everything in order. Yes, this will help the purpose greatly, provided that Peter has some of my energy.

"That would be fine. It will give him something to look forward to over the next while." He smiled at her, hoping to relax her enough that he could leave. Watching her face carefully, he stood up. His action brought a shadow to her face, so he reached out and brushed the side of her face, spontaneously adding a little more energy to move the process along. She stood up and hugged him tightly, clinging to him as though letting go would kill her.

"I love you, Ego. With all my heart." The honesty in her statement only made Ego want to get out faster. Every word she said increased the chances that he would take it all back.

"I know, my River Lily. I love you, too." He smiled wistfully, regretting having come at all, but having been unable to help himself. Goodbye, Meredith. I will miss you.

Nearly two years later, as Ego sat among the bones of his failed offspring, he felt a sudden surge of energy. He realized with a start that it was the radiation he had left with Meredith. If the energy had returned… It is done. Peter, the only remaining hope for my purpose. It is time to find out if I can fulfill my purpose. The guilty pull to return to Earth was suddenly released, and Ego felt more free than he had in a very long time.

He teleported to the surface and grabbed a communicator. "Yondu, come in Yondu. It is time. Bring me my human son." He turned to look in the direction of Earth. It was only a matter of time. His purpose would be realized.

Author's Notes

I intentionally put more first person thought in Ego's chapter, because I perceive Ego to be more of a thinker than an emotional being. He thought himself into being, after all. He still has emotions, of course, but I feel that he tries to use his reasoning and logic to guide himself. Hence the shift in writing style.

I also wanted to show Ego as a conflicted character. Each time I watch the movie, I become more convinced that Ego really did care about Meredith, but that his "purpose" had become his sole reason for continuing to exist. I wonder what would have happened if he had been able to meet Meredith much earlier in his existence. Would he still have felt the need to kill her for the purpose? Would the purpose have even become something he thought of? So many possibilities.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!