Act II: Twitch Streamer Bayonetta

Vladimir was sitting at home and streaming a Bayonetta speedrun. Jeanne's RNG was bad again so he was 30 seconds behind his splits now. Suddenly something crashed through the window and hit a wall, leaving a crack. This was completely unexpected and Vladimir was scared shitless. Vladimir came to investigate and found Bayonetta lying on the floor unconscious (or so he thought).

Suddenly she opened her eyes and stood up.

"Wow, that was an experience. I swear, dodging shit before Isla Del Sol will never seem as intense anymore."

"Ehhmm, what is going on?"

"Wait, what are you playing?" Bayonetta saw the PC.

"Ahh, it's Bayonetta for PC. Could you please explain whaa-"

Bayonetta rushed to the PC and started clearing the game at the speed of light.

"Hey, Bayonetta. I'm actually speedrunning the game right now, do you know how to split time?" Vladimir asked and Bayonetta nodded.

The Twitch chat went wild. The stream already had over 10k viewers and donations were coming in every minute. Bayonetta saw the possibility to cash in and quickly changed the wallet number to her own before Vladimir could notice. By the end of Chapter 4 she was already two minutes ahead of Vladimir's personal best despite the time loss in the beginning.

"How did you save so much time?" The streamer wondered.

"Well, I just experienced it all myself, you know. So it's quite easy to speedrun the game."

Of course, Bayonetta knew how to go fast in Bayonetta. She was Bayonetta, after all. An hour later she reached Chapter XIV.

"Listen, there's a skip coming up and I need your help!" Bayonetta was really concentrated on the game now.

"Wh.. What skip!?"

"Just help me enter Witch Time."

"You can use the accessory. Did you get it?"

"Not in game. In real life, stupid!"

Vladimir threw a basketball at Bayonetta. She dodged, entered Witch Time and proceeded to execute miltiple frame-perfect inputs and skip the boring missile flight that took ten minutes otherwise.

"Holy shit? What did you just do?"

"Come now, do you honestly think I liked the idea of flying some missile for ten minutes straight? Boring as hell!" Bayonetta explained.

The final time was so amazing Vladimir decided he will run Bayonetta 2 from now on because there was no way he was going to beat Bayonetta's time. It was faster than the WR by more than 20 minutes, after all.

"Alright, it was nice to meet you, Vladimir. Thanks for the evening! Uh, sorry for the window and the wall and stuff. Also, I hope you don't mind me taking all the donation money. Bye bye!" Said Bayonetta and ran off, escaping through the same window that she entered through.

Bayonetta went home and soon she was at her apartment that she shared with Jeanne.

"Hello Jeanne, I've got good news! I've found us money for the car! About $12000, to be more precise."

"What? Where did you get so much money?"

"I just tried streaming on Twitch. Who would have thought it could be so profitable?"

"Holy shit! What were you doing on that stream to get so much money?"

"It does not matter, Jeanne. Let's go get ourselves a car."

The witches wanted a car that could be infused with magical power. In the whole town they've found only two cars that could provide that: a BMW M3 E34 that belonged to some Lumen Sage that liked to time travel and a Lada 2105, which belonged to the witch that made Sergey's Lover. Of course, people selling the cars knew nothing about the previous owners so they offered quite low prices.

"How come we have found two cars that can be infused with magic in this small town? There are like only fifty total in the world."

"I don't know, Jeanne. I know one thing, though. We would have been so screwed if we only found the Lada. That Russian witch must have been a gopnik or something."

Of couse, the BMW was the way to go. Lada was blasting Cheeki Breeki non-stop when the engine was running and the witches had no idea how to get rid of the spell. Rodin could have probably removed the spell but the witches did not want to spend any halos because Jeanne developed a sexual fetish related to them.

The witches bought the car and went to Akina to drift. It was great to finally be able to drift, but Jeanne felt something was missing.

"It's not quite the way I remember it from Initial D"

Of course something was different, Bayonetta's mixtape was playing. Despite Tomorrow Is Mine and Mysterious Destiny being awesome tracks, they just didn't offer the same energy that allowed the driver to drift really close to the safety rail.

"Hey, Bayonetta, turn that shit off! We must change our music in order to become real street racers."

Bayonetta ejected the cassette and realized it was the only one they had. "So what cassette should we use instead? We only have this one."

"Shit! We must find a Eurobeat mix somewhere."

Suddenly, Rodin appeared from a portal.

"Just in-time to strike myself some halos! Look what I've got here! It's on sale, too!" He had a box-set titled Initial D Soundtrack

Jeanne didn't know what to do. They had no halos left for the reasons already known to the reader.

"Hey, Rodin, can we buy this thing for cash? It's not like that's an ancient Umbran Technique or it's affiliated with magic of any kind."

"If it does not seems infused with magic to you it does not mean it is not. This thing will make you clear corners at least 50% faster."

Thoughts were racing through Bayonetta's head but she could not come up with anything.

"How much is it, Rodin?"

"It's only 99999 halos! Come on, I know you witches need this thing, it's a one-of-a-kind."

Unfortunately, Bayonetta had only several thousand halos she somehow managed to hide from Jeanne.

"We don't have enough halos, Rodin."

"Well, sorry. I can use this thing myself, after all. I will dominate the Gumma zone and become a legend. You'll never beat me. Actually, let's race next friday. If you win I'll give you the infused box-set. If you lose... Well, you witches will have have to work in the Gates of Hell as janitors for eternity. I'll also make you pay me all the halos you ever get."

Jeanne got triggered by this. "No way we're gonna accept this!"

Bayonetta and Jeanne were already thinking about leaving the street racing scene until a car suddenly appeared from behing a corner and approached them. It was an eight-five.

"Come on, anytime but now. Fuck, we're screwed." Bayonetta thought as Itsuki got out of his car.

Next day everyone knew about the upcoming race.