Chapter 23
There's no excuses for the delay sadly. Hope the chapter makes up for the wait, ps.. I hope yous all had a Merry Christmas and have a happy new year!
Ste's pov
I got a bit worried about Brendan when we were in his dads pub but now it looks as if a weight has been taken off his shoulders. We went to another one of his locals for lunch and I find myself walking along a pier with Brendan beside me, telling me stories from him and his pals hanging about here.
We sit at the edge of the pier, it's December so it's freezing even with my duffel coat on, but I don't care cause Brendan's with me and he's telling me all these stories about his younger days and I can picture it as he tells me, can imagine him in his teens but in my mind he's still got the tache covering his top lip.
"What ye grinning at?" He asks sheepishly.
"Nothin." I say, grinning more "I can picture it, but in my mind ya still have the moustache." I tell him, while putting my hands above my mouth. He lets out a soft laugh before his face seems to darken and I think it's maybe because he thinks I'm taking the piss out of him but then he points out a place further along the peir.
Tells me about himself jumping off of there when he was younger, "I got arrested, my da loved that." He adds.
"Ya coulda got yourself killed!" I exclaim.
He jumps up suddenly, holding a hand out to me, "come on."
We keep walking along, him telling me all these stories, and it feels strange because he never talks about his past. We walk for what seems like an age but I start to recognise some of the places we passed earlier on and guess that we must be going back to the apartment.
When the doors shut behind us I lean towards him for a kiss, he pulls away before I can deepen it.
"We've got a reservation tonight." He tells me as an explanation, "and as much as I want to stay in here with ye, I booked this as soon as I planned for us to come over."
"Oh okay." I say, knowing it must be something important if he's turning down sex.
"We've got.." He looks at his watch, "just under an hour to get ready."
So there isn't enough time for a quicky is what he's saying.
We hurriedly get ready him shaving his face while I'm in the shower, it makes me think what it would be like if we stayed together.
We're both ready quickly, Brendan dressed in a sharp black suit, while I'm standing in a pair of tight jeans and a long sleeved polo shirt.
He smells of his signature aftershave and I breath it in, not realising how heavy I'm breathing until he grins at me, a light blush spreading across his cheeks. I give him a soft smile that I know is saved for him alone.
We walk to the restaurant, his arm around my back, not moving once and the heat of his hand is like a reassurance I didn't know I wanted.
We get into the restaurant and I'm hut with the heat of the place, Brendan gives our reservation name before we're taken to our seats. It reminds me of the first time we had went out for dinner. Except this time Brendan isn't in a bad mood because the waiter was apparently 'eyeing me up'.
"What ye grinning at Steven?" He says breaking me out my thoughts.
"Nothing." I say and he raises his eyebrow before I admit, "I'm just happy, is all."
"Good." He tells me, "I'm glad."
We eat in silence, glancing at each other every now and then, the pressure building up.
After we leave I go to walk the way we came from but he holds onto my hand pulling me into another direction. I frown but follow him anyway, the walk is peaceful and it helps that Brendan's arm is wrapped around me, I can't help the overwhelming feeling of safety that I get every time I'm within a certain distance from him. Even out in the open like this personal space isn't something Brendan takes into consideration, but I don't mind.
Something bright catches my eyes and as we get closer I see its a bridge. I look at him to question why he's brought me here but he still just smiles at me. It looks like a magical bridge, lit up with lights for Christmas. I think it's probably every kids dream. I put my fingers through a lock on the bridge,
"What's this?" I ask
"They're called love locks, you write your name on it, lock it to the bridge and throw the key into the river." I turn the locket around and see two names on it but I don't even take them in before Brendan speaks again, "Ye thinking about doing one?" There's a playfulness about the way he says it.
"Don't flatter yourself." I say before I look back up and him, he's grinning away, I can see the reflections of the lights in his eyes.
He pulls something out his pocket and sure enough there's a locket, He shows me the back and there it is, in black marker pen, 'Brendan & Steven'.
He locks it to the bridge before holding the key towards me, "Do ye want to do the honours?" He asks, still grinning and I've still not moved a muscle.
I take the key in my hand and flip it around before I look at Brendan who gives me a nod of encouragement, looking back towards the water I throw the key in.
"I'm going to kiss ye now." Brendan says, taking my face in his hands.
It starts slow and sensual before it gets a little rougher, his stubble making my face feel like its on fire. I come to my senses and pull away before it gets too indecent.
He lets out a growly laugh and I get a whiff of whiskey, I've never really liked the smell or the taste of whiskey but there's something about it coming from Brendan that makes it comforting, attractive.
"I think we need to get back to the apartment." I laugh a little, feeling my head spin, not sure if its the drink or just Brendan that's doing it.
"Yeah?" He questions, his eyes glaring at me, "Sounds like a good plan."
We walk as quickly as we can back to the apartment and when we get in I don't know who makes the first move but we're both grabbing at each others clothes, my mouth smothering his while his tongue is halfway down my throat.
I don't know who's making what noises, with the moans, groans and growls echoing around the empty room. He steers me into the bedroom my back hitting off the door before we get into the room, we break apart then. His mouth parted slightly, breathing heavily, he looks so gorgeous that I can't believe he isn't part of my imagination. He strips his shirt off, letting me see the pale, ripped muscles underneath along with his defined chest. It's only when he's stripped down with only his boxers left, staring at me with a even stranger look on his face that I realise I'm still fully clothed, I quickly rid myself of my clothes before Brendan pushes me onto the bed.
He's on top of me within seconds, grabbing at my thighs, biting along my jaw while I push myself up, leaving no space between our bodies.
I hear my ringtone from my jeans that are lying on the floor but ignore it as Brendan continues his sweet sucking down my neck and across my chest.
The phone rings again and I feel Brendan move, "I'll turn it off yeah?"
"Okay." I say before pressing my head back into the bed. After a few minutes of silence I look back up to see Brendan looking at the phone screen, frown etched across his forehead, lips sagging downwards. He looks up to meet my eyes and when he does I rack my brain to try work out what it could be..
Brendan's pov
'Ste call me back ASAP. It's about the chlamydia, just get ahold of me before you do something stupid like tell Brendan. X doug'
I can't believe it, that's what going through my mind. I look towards Steven and he's already looking at me, worry on his face, still lying on my bed, naked.
The little shit, I let him be the first person that ever got close to me, the only person that I've ever really loved in that way and he's being keeping this from me. That he might be riddled with all sorts, and I don't have a clue if he's been sleeping with Douglas behind my back or if there's even more.
"Bren?" I hear Steven murmur while he uses the covers to hide himself.
"What's this?" I ask before flinging the phone onto the bed and search for my clothes.
"Bren I was going to tell ya.." I hear him say weakly, "John paul has it and they think that I'm the one that's gave it to Doug."
"Wh.. Am I seriously hearing this?" I snap, turn to face him while I've got my clothes bundled in my hands.
"I'm sorry, I was sure I was clean. I still think I am."
"I can't even look at ye." I hiss, while I'm rushing to get my clothes on, once I'm fully dressed I take one last look at him, he looks conflicted as if fighting with his own mind, "Don't wait up." I tell him as I start to walk out the room.
"Brendan..wait!" I hear him shout and stumble out the bed.
I turn to face him, "No Steven! I can't." And with that I walk out the apartment slamming the door behind me.
I don't have a clue where I'm going all I know is I needed to get as far away from Steven as I can. The number one place for me right now is any random bar that I find along the way.
Ste's pov
It's been two hours and still no word from Brendan, I'm not sure if he's going to come back or not. So I'm going to ring Sinead and see what she thinks I should do. After a few rings she picks up.
"Hello?" She murmurs as if she's just been wakened.
"Are ya alright?"
"Yeah babe, just sitting infront of the tv. How's Dublin?" She asks
"It's been great, but something's happened." I bite down on my lip not sure how exactly to tell her.
"What's up?"
"Doug he text me about the chlamydia and Brendan read the message and just went off on one." I tell her, "He's been gone a few hours and I don't know what I should do."
"He read your texts?!" She exclaims, "Ste that ain't right!"
"It wasn't like that! We were.." I cut off there not wanting to go further into what we were about to do, "And the phone rang then a text came through and Bren was going to turn it off but obviously seen the text." I sigh, finally sitting down and resting my head in my hand, "And well you can guess how it went from there."
"Ste I think you should come home, I know your enjoying yourself but just give the both of yous some space." She says down the phone hesitantly,
"But what if he doesn't come back? What if that's it?" I hear my voice crack slightly.
"Then you move on its his loss. I can see his point of view yeah but you explained to him didn't you?"
"Yeah well as much as I could, he didn't want to hear it." I sniff and realise my cheeks are wet, quickly wiping the tears away.
"Just breath okay? Your fine, just get packed, get to the airport and come home. I'll pick you up at this end?"
"Okay, I'll phone ya back when I've got something sorted. Thanks Sinead." And I mean it,
"That's what friends are for babe! I'll see you soon."
"Yeah. See ya then." And I hang up, give myself a brush off.
I make Brendan's bed, having no clue why I actually do it but it helps me try to gather my thoughts, I go into the top drawer where my clothes are and lay my tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt on the bed before getting socks and boxers out. I want to go for a shower but now I'm in the notion to leave.
I quickly get dressed, collecting my clothes that are lying around the room and shoving them in my holdall, I empty the drawer of my things, and use my aftershave before putting that in the bag aswell. I get my charger and quickly scan around the living room making sure I'm not leaving anything behind. Grabbing a pen and notepad, I quickly scribble a note,
'Bren,
I'm sorry. I can't be here when your mad at me..'
That's how far I get before I hear a key in the door, fuck.
He staggers in the door, slamming it behind him and struggling to walk to the couch before looking in my direction, it takes him a couple of seconds to focus on my face. The only way to describe the look on his face was disgust and when I see that I can't bring myself to look at him.
"Ye goin somewhere fancy?" I hear him slur.
I look down at my clothes, there's nothing fancy about them. "Bren.." I start but he interrupts me before I even have the chance to finish his name,
"Ye were planning on leaving weren't ye?" He hisses, "If ye want to go then go!"
I jump when he raises his voice, I've heard him shout and I've seen him angry and I still can't get used to it, it makes me feel uneasy when he's like this. I gather my things together walking to the door, I turn to look at him but his eyes are closed, he looks relaxed like he's needed this for along time. An excuse to finish it.
"You said you couldn't look at me so I thought I would do you a favour." My voice comes out quiet and I wonder for a second if he's even heard me.
I decide against saying anything else and open the door, I get to the front of the apartment before I feel myself getting tugged back, Brendan directing me back into the house, I don't even bother fighting against him, just let him lead me.
"Just.. Lets just talk about this Steven okay?" He murmurs when were back inside, "I think we both ought to calm down."
He's right about that, I've got tears streaked down my face and I can see the rage in Brendan's eyes, there's unshed tears there aswell.
I nod to him before letting go of my bag, "Will you let me tell you the full story now?"
I can tell he's pissed but I know that this can't wait, knowing Brendan if I don't tell him by the morning I probably won't get the chance.
"It was a few days ago and Doug told me that JohnPaul had tested positive for chlamydia, but of course it couldn't have came from him so Doug and JohnPaul thought I should get tested for it." That's a long story cut short.
He looks thoughtful for a moment before he speaks, "It's JohnPaul that has it?"
"Yeah, Dougs not sure if he has it but he isn't willing to even think that it could have been JohnPaul that's caught it himself, either before or after he's started seeing Doug."
"So ye weren't sleeping with him behind my back?" He looks sheepish, insecure even, can't even look at me.
"That's what ya thought?" I ask, not realising exactly how insecure he is, I've been reminded a few times of it but he always seems so full of himself, sometimes I forget he puts a front up at times.
He lets out a laugh, "Now that I think about it I realise its a bit stupid but.. Douglas, he can give ye things I can't. I wouldn't blame ye, I'm fucked up."
"Bren.." I sigh, finally moving towards him. I rest my head on his shoulder, placing a kiss there before I speak again, "I love you alright, I don't want Doug. Or anybody else for that matter." He finally looks at me then, "You've got nothin to worry about, trust me!"
His eyes are secured to my lips before he looks me in the eye and gives me a tight smile and slight nod, "I do, sorry."
I huff a laugh, "Don't be sorry, I don't blame ya for how you reacted, I should've told you."
"I should've at least let you explain." He leans his head to one side before giving me a soft chaste kiss, "Have ye went to get tested?"
"Yeah, I didn't want to tell ya because I knew how you'd react. Not until I knew for sure." I tell him, feel guilty for keeping this from him.
He looks at me again, as if assessing me, "Ye ready to go to bed?" He holds his hand out, still a little unsteady on his feet.
"Yeah, I am." I take his hand and he leads me towards his room.