Act IV: Unexpected Shit

It was friday and the witches were driving to Akina. They wanted to arrive early this time to make sure their plan was going to work. However, as they approached the mountain they discovered the road was closed.

"Stop! The road is closed for repairs due to the safety rails being damaged! We are sorry for any inconvenience." Said the repairs worker.

Bayonetta and Jeanne parked the car and taught the workers not to fuck with witches. There were quite a lot of workers so it took quite some time to beat their asses and undo their repairs.

"The preparations for this race took too long, Jeanne. Now let's win this and get our Eurobit mixtape!" Said Bayonetta after problems were dealt with. They were casually walking down the mountain back to their car as it was already dark and they wanted to impress the people who gathered by now.

Enzo was already at the starting line when the witches arrived.

"Hello, Enzo. It was quite a long time ago when we last spoke. Where's Rodin?" Bayonetta asked.

"I don't know and I would not have told you nothing if I knew! I'm just following instructions."

Bayonetta walked back to their car.

"So where's Rodin?" Jeanne wondered.

"Well, knowing him he will probably appear from a portal the last moment. I think he's going to drive Enzo's car."

"I wonder what Rodin offered him for such a privilege?"

"He probably offered him free drinks or something."

Time went by, it was almost time to race and Bayonetta was looking into the obsidian sky.

Suddenly it struck her. "Jeanne, our plan's not gonna work. Fuck!"

"Cereza, what's going on?"

"Look, it's cloudy!"

"Ah shit! What are we gonna do?"

"We can only hope the moon will be visible."

Ryosuke approached their car. "Hello. I'm Takahashi Ryosuke from Akagi Red Suns, a local team here in Gumma. You know, since you witches got yourselves a car I figured you would want to challenge some of the local racers too. Here's my number, you can call me if you need anything."

"Thanks for the offer, Ryosuke. It's about time we started challenging actual street racers." Bayonetta replied.

"So who are you racing today? No one really knows much about the race."

"Well, we're racing Rodin."

"That's cool! Are you ready?"

"Ahh, yes, but it seems like our plan isn't going to work. I'm not sure if we'll win."

"That's unfortunate! What's at stake now?"

"If we win we'll get a Eurobeat mixtape. If we lose... Well, we're screwed."

"Hmmm. It seems like the stakes are high. Whatever you do, don't get nervous! Oh by the way, it's great that you won the race with Kamiya. I'm so hyped about Bayonetta 3. Do you know anything about the game?"

"Yeah, it's gonna be great!" Bayonetta said as Jeanne sighed.

Their conversation was suddenly ended as Rodin appeared from the portal.

"Let's see what you witches got!"

The radio went alive. "This is the starting line. Is everything ready?"

"This is the first corner, everything is fine, we're ready."

"This is the second corner. Everything is fine except... Hey, weren't there safety rails on Akina before?"

They were interrupted by another transmission. "This is the finish line! Fuck, we've got cops here! Cancel the race!"

Rodin didn't like the idea of cancelling the race. "Hey, who cares? Let's go!"

"We don't wanna risk going to jail!" Said the man with the radio.

"Ahh, fuck you guys. Enzo, let the countdown begin!"

"Ehhm. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Go!"

Rodin floored the gas and Enzo started screaming and swearing.

Despite Enzo's car being a hunk of shit, the Eurobeat playlist allowed Rodin to drift way faster than the witches could ever imagine. The witches were able to keep up with him for a couple of corners, but they were slowly falling behind.

"Damn, he's far ahead of us. What do we do?" Bayonetta was getting nervous. "We still cannot Witch Drive!"

The witches were falling behind with each corner and soon they could not see Rodin at all.

Jeanne lost any hope. "Who would have thought our free lives would end because of some damn clouds?!"

They were close to the middle of the course already when suddenly a fighter jet flew by.

"A jet? Here?" Bayonetta was surprised. "Great, I guess the military got involved too."

Suddenly, the clouds started to go away and the moon became visible.

"What? The jet chased the clouds away! Floor it, Cereza!" Jeanne screamed in excitement.

Bayonetta took a sharp turn and the witches began their rapid descent off the mountain. Each second Jeanne had to stuff more and more purple lollipops into Bayonetta's mouth so she would not run out of magic. Suddenly, after skipping another turn a car appeared right in front of the witches.

"Shit, Rodin!" Bayonetta screamed.

The witches' BMW rammed Rodin's car and Bayonetta ran out of magic.

"Damn, Bayonetta, chill the fuck down." Rodin screamed as he lost control. Enzo's car was trashed and began to spin out but Enzo himself did not give a shit anymore as he passed out on the second turn.

"I can't Witch Drive! Jeanne, brace!" Bayonetta shouted in panic.

"Cereza-a-a-a!"

The witches' BMW flew through the air.

"We're gonna die if we don't bail out of the car!"

"We will lose the race then! We can't bail!"

Suddenly, they landed on something. It was the jet.

"Hello, Bayonetta. It's been a long time since we last met, huh?"

Bayonetta instantly recognized the voice. "Luka?"

The jet was clearly going out of control now and Bayonetta drove off of it, landing straight at the finish line. She looked back to see the jet crashing into the nearby forest, starting a fire.

"The witches won!" Screamed the crowd.

Suddenly, multiple police cars arrived at the scene.

"Shit, it's the reinforcements! Run!" A man screamed and everybody got into their cars.

Jeanne was scared shitless. "This was the experience of my life, Cereza."