A/N: Trigger warning: Violence, gunshots, and character death.
Cookies for whoever remembers Clark's Third Law.
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Nobody saw Diana draw her sword: she was that fast. The bullets meant for Pepper deflected into the ceiling.
"TRAITOR! BLASPHEMER! THIS IS A HOLY RITE!" The Amazon screamed.
Thor reached for Bride and Groom, wrapped them in his massive arms, and pulled them away from the murderers. Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg jumped into the space between, bellowing challenges. The guests panicked and ran, screaming in terror, but bullets came from guns concealed in sleeves; some of the guests fell even as they fled. The manicured floor became slippery with blood.
Harold "Happy" Hogun tackled both Tony and Pepper, dragging them to the floor and shielding them with his bulk.
A stray bullet grazed the sleepy Dr. Banner, and suddenly the Hulk roared a challenge to the male shooters. They emptied their magazines into the green giant's chest, to no avail, and the Hulk crushed the caterer like a wet sponge.
The executive snarled "Hail Hydra," and pointed his last round at his own skull. His arm clattered to the floor, still holding the gun, as Hogun's blade sliced it off at the shoulder.
"Coward," the Vanaheim warrior spat. "Face justice, and then you may die!"
Sauer dropped the bride's bouquet and dove into Helen Malick. She knocked her gun up towards the ceiling, and then drove her elbow into the woman's stomach. Malick staggered and almost lost her grip on her gun, but shifted her weight and brought it around again, her face blank. Calloused hands that had pounded steel, then been recently broken, wrestled with a soft, manicured pair over a pistol. "Deathdeathdeath" it said, even as Sauer knocked it against her knee, and something burned down the side of her leg. Sauer brought one elbow back hard into Malick's face, and the woman screamed and bit at her, still clawing for the gun. Sauer twisted the pistol grip further, jammed the barrel into flesh that wasn't hers, and squeezed the trigger. Helen twitched, and her mouth opened in shock. She lost her grip on the weapon. Sauer twisted it out of her hands and threw it away. When Helen reached for her throat, Sauer body-blocked her to the side and wrapped her arm around the woman's neck in a sleeper hold…
…and tripped over the hem of her dress.
The wrestling pair fell in a tangle of arms and legs and pink satin, and an odd CRACK came from Malick, who gasped and fell silent, staring. Sauer, confused at the sudden lack of fight, scrabbled to her knees and cocked her one good hand into a fist, ready to punch the traitor again. Helen just stared at her, a red stain growing at her midsection, her eyes confused, glassy. Her lips wavered, tried to form words. "Hay…Hail…
Sauer shook, staring at the dying face of the bridesmaid she had stood next to just two minutes earlier.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" she screamed. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?"
Helen Malick did not answer. Sauer couldn't have heard her if she had; her ears rang with the echoes of five close gunshots. She released her fist, and brought an open hand down across Helen's face.
"ANSWER ME, YOU BITCH!"
Strong arms wrapped around her midsection, gentle but firm, tugging her away from the dying Malick. She felt the buzz of words next to her ear, but couldn't make out what they said over the ringing. Tug, tug. She wrestled away, panicking, slipping on the combination of satin and blood, not knowing who touched her. Her leg burned, her right hand wouldn't work properly, and things around her would not focus.
"Hulk!" Loki bellowed, "Help your Mouse!"
The creature dropped what was left of the caterer, and stomped over to where Loki held Sauer. She struggled against the Dark Prince, eyes wide and unknowing. Dangerfightdangerfightdangerfight. Hulk bent over so his giant green eyes filled her vision, and rumbled in the back of his throat.
"Mouse stop."
Sauer's brown eyes locked onto the Hulk's green ones. Greengreengreengreen. Green for safety. She stopped struggling against Loki's hands. Greengreensafegreengreen. The Hulk whuffed at her, and he came into focus. Sound started creeping into Sauer's world again: sirens blaring, people screaming, the smell of gunpowder and coppery blood.
"Sorry, Hulk," she whispered. "I was bad…"
"Mouse good," he grunted. "Girl bad."
"We need a doctor over here!" somebody shouted, and the Hulk scowled over his shoulder.
"Hulk's Other is a doctor," Sauer whispered up at him, and he glared down at her. She put her broken hand on his face. "It's ok, Hulk. You can take turns."
Hulk nodded and sat back, shrinking. Soon Dr. Banner shrugged on a spare shirt, and assisted with triage.
Sauer shook, looked around again at Helen Malick's body, and gagged. She tried to cover her mouth with her good hand, and realized (too late) that it was covered in blood. She tried to wipe it off on her dress, but only managed to smear it.
Loki conjured a fresh towel for her. "You have never taken a life."
She shook her head. "No," she said hoarsely.
He opened his mouth to say something else, but a shout from Thor drew him away.
Sauer sat down next to Helen Malick's body, and stared into her lifeless eyes.
"I'm…I'm sorry, Helen."
She leaned over and puked, sobbing.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Harold Hogun grunted and coughed. "I…I'm getting old for this, Tony," he confessed.
"Yeah, and heavy, too," Tony coughed. "But we still look great." He pulled Happy's arms off from where they still clutched at both him and Pepper. "Pepper? Honey? Are you ok?"
"What…what happened? What was that…that thing? Malick? Sauer? That was really violent…are the girls alright?" Pepper babbled in her shock.
Happy sat up, a little wobbly. "Do ya needs somethin', Miss Potts?" He fumbled in his jacket pocket and came up empty. "A drink of water, mebbe?"
"No, I'm…I'm alright," Pepper said breathlessly. She pushed her hair back out of her face. "Is anybody hurt? Oh…." She closed her eyes at the mess and the moaning people around her. "JARVIS, call 911."
"Already done, Miss Potts," the AI answered. "Emergency services are I n route; clinic technicians are in the elevators."
"Happy," Tony said, pointing to his chest, "what's that on your shirt?"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Thor," Fandral coughed, "my lungs…"
"Sorry, shield-brother," Thor relaxed his hold on the couple, and they coughed a bit, Charity's head buried in Fandral's chest. "Are you both well?"
"These mortals and their toys hurt me naught, Thor. Charity? How fare you?" Fandral grabbed his wife by the nearest elbow.
Charity gagged as she caught sight of the carnage around her: bloodscreamingpeoplethingstilting, Malick and Sauer falling to the floor, bloodbloodblood. She gasped, letting go of the breath she didn't know she held, and coughed. Her stomach hurt. Had somebody punched her? She looked down…
A red flower petal was stuck on her dress. Odd. Had she been carrying roses? She couldn't remember…She had handed her bouquet to Sauer…
"Charity?" Fandral prodded her from behind. "Wife? Are you well?"
Charity Fandralwyfe plucked at the flower petal stuck to her gown; her fingers came away wet…and red…she turned around. "Husband?" she said, even as her knees buckled. Fandral caught her as she crumpled. "Fandral? Take me home?"
Fandral clutched her to his chest. "No…NO! THOR! HELP US!"
Thor glanced across the room, to where Loki and the Hulk labored over something. "LOKI!" he bellowed, "HERE! TO THE HALLS!"
Loki was across the room in three strides. He gave the bride and groom a grim look, then nodded at Thor.
"Clutch your wife, Blademaster," he ordered, "and hang on tight."
Fandral wrapped Charity in his cloak, the red flower growing across her abdomen, and cradled her in his arms.
Loki, now 12 feet tall, scooped up groom and bride as if they were children. Nodding to Thor, he took a massive step…
And disappeared.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"It's my corsage, Tony," Happy said, pulling the now-crushed rose out of his cummerbund. "Huh. Pin stuck me, too. Funny: I dinnit even feel it."
"Be sore in the mornin'," Tony said heavily, and sat down on the floor. He looked around the conference room, now nearly empty but for the dead and wounded, and shuddered. "What the hell happened?"
"A weird octopus flashed on the wall, and some o' your people went postal, Boss," Happy grunted. "Big cat fight between Malick and Sauer. That Amazin' princess…"
"Amazon, Happy."
"Yeah, you an' Miss Potts are alive 'cause she can draw a sword faster'n I kin blink. I kin see it in slow motion when I close my eyes; that an' the angel that showed up."
Stark gave his oldest friend a look. "You hit your head on the way down, Happy?"
His bodyguard snorted. "Figgured you'd say that." He paused for a minute. "I think I hit everything on the way down. Help me outa this jacket an' cummerbund, wouldja?"
Happy's shirt was soaked in sweat. "You all right, Happy?" Tony fussed. Even the man's shoulder holster was soaked. "You want your holster off, too?"
"No, leave the holster. I'm jest old, that's all." He looked across the room to where Sauer bent over near Malick. "Looks like Sauer gave Malick hell. Good for her." He scowled and rubbed his stomach.
"Yeah, I never saw that coming. Your ulcer bothering you?"
"Nah, just my indigestion." He frowned deeply. "Damn shame, too. I was looking forward to that party." Happy sighed as he surveyed the chaotic room. "Huh, Aless is here."
"Someone you know?"
"Allesandra Aloz: from HR. We dated for a while," Happy shrugged. "Didn't work out."
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Sauer crouched next to Malick's body; she felt frozen and empty. She dimly heard moans from the wounded, but couldn't take her eyes off the face of the person she had just killed. Useless, worthless, killer, echoed through her mind. Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg tended the wounded; Princess Diana did the same. Even Pepper staggered across the room to help someone who cradled a bleeding arm. Her? She couldn't move. All she could do was stare at the woman she had killed, and weep.
A hand touched her shoulder. "Sauer?"
She jumped, just a bit. "Al….Aless?" She barely knew the other woman. Old enough to be her mother, Alessandra had worked in HR longer than Pepper.
"Yes. Are you hurt?"
"I…" she thought through her body. "I'm not sure. My leg kind of burns…"
"Let me see." Aless said crisply. She tugged gently, peeling a layer of satin off the younger woman's legs. "Lucky you. Looks like a graze. It's going to burn for a while, though. Helen?"
"She's dead," Sauer said huskily, and choked again. Fresh tears sprang from her eyes. "I didn't mean…"
"Shhh. Dry those tears," the older woman clucked. She grabbed the younger woman's chin with her fingers and pulled her face up. "Look up, not down. It wasn't personal, and you didn't mean it. You just reacted, right?"
"I guess." Aless handed Sauer some tissue, and she blew her nose. "She was gonna shoot Miss Potts…"
"Where's the gun?" Sauer pointed to a spot on the floor a few feet away, and Aless nodded. "Malick say anything?" Aless began peeling some of the cloth away from the proximity burn, and Sauer winced.
"Ummm…" think, useless! "She said something about hail and good bye."
"Hail HYDRA?"
"Yeah, that was it." Sauer shuddered and turned her back on the dead Malick. "What the hell is a hydra?"
Aless clucked as she began washing some of the blood from Sauer's leg with a water bottle. "You were in SHIELD, right?"
"Yeah." Sauer hissed as Aless tugged more of her ruined dress away from the leg wound.
"You know the story of Cain and Abel?"
"From Sunday School, yeah. Ouch! Not so hard."
"Sorry. Anyway, HYDRA is to SHIELD what Cain was to Abel."
"No shit? The murdering older brother?"
Aless winced. "There's two sides to every story, kiddo. You just killed somebody. Was that murder?"
"Feels like it," Sauer whispered. Her stomach threatened to rebel again. "But she shot at Miss Potts! And at a wedding we were all in! What's up with that?"
Aless nodded. "Well done. You're re-directing like a pro. Keep it up, and you'll be able to justify anything."
"What?" Sauer was getting confused. "What are you talking about? What's all this got to do with HYDRA and SHIELD?"
"Brace yourself; this is antiseptic." Aless nodded as Sauer held her breath, and sprayed the wound with something that burned cold, then stopped hurting entirely.
"Nice," said Sauer. "I don't feel much of anything, now."
"It's a useful drug," Aless nodded, applied a paste, and began wrapping the wound with gauze pads and tape. "Now, both agencies do the same thing: keep the world safe. They just don't always agree on how to do that, and sometimes they fight. It's just strange that you never heard of this until now."
"Why? Because I'm ex-SHIELD?"
"Exactly. HYDRA has run in the background for a long time, giving a place to the people the ultra-righteous SHIELD rejected. People like you. You have talent and heart. That's a good combination. Fury and Stark were both idiots for dumping you. You don't have to be homeless. If you're interested, there's a place for you at the table," Aless gave Sauer a knowing look.
"A place at the table?" Sauer felt a chill. "What, with the agency that just tried to kill an unarmed woman at a wedding? I heard Charity. Is she dead because she tried to leave? How about the other guests? Why are they dead?" Sauer's blood pressure began to rise.
"Collateral damage. Not everything goes according to plan." Aless shrugged.
"This wedding was put together today. How is any of this," Sauer waved at the bloody chaos around them, "planned?"
"Be careful, Miss Sauer. You're missing the point. Opportunity only knocks once." The older woman gave Sauer's injured leg a tight squeeze, making the young woman gasp.
A curious numbness began spreading up her leg. Very quickly Sauer discovered that she could neither feel nor move that leg from the knee down. "What the hell did you do to me?" she demanded.
Aless smiled kindly. "Nothing without your consent, obviously. I cleansed, medicated, and bandaged your wound. You've had a hard day, and you, of all people, are in a dress. Totally understandable you might have taken a Valium. That will explain why you lost co-ordination, and in the fight over Helen's gun slipped and accidently broke her neck."
Sauer glanced back at her dead co-worker. Her neck was at an awkward angle…the numbness was spreading…
"Why are you doing this," she whispered?
"I'm helping you. You're the big hero that saved Pepper Potts' life. Stark will never want to get rid of you now. You'll pull two paychecks, as well. Remember your SHIELD pay? That's nothing compared to how HYDRA compensates her agents."
"All I have to do is kill my friends," Sauer deadpanned. Voices in the back of her head began to chatter, and another chill ran down her spine. It was getting harder to sit up straight.
Aless shook her head. "Not necessarily. Just be eyes and ears. We realize what Pepper might mean to you, since your real mother is dead. Other people can neutralize threats; you don't have to get your hands wet," the older woman looked down at the mess on the floor, "again."
Sauer bit her lip, hoping the pain would keep her alert, and tried to pull herself upright.
"You know about my mother?"
Aless smiled patiently. "Hon, we know everything about everybody. That's part of what we do."
Sauer's hands slipped on the blood-stained tile, and one of her pupils dilated. Aless reached out and tried to keep her from rising with one hand. The other hand gripped Helen's pistol, and held it unerringly at the base of Sauer's throat.
When did she grab that? Sauer wondered idly. "And if I don't comply?"
"In your hysterical, drug-addled state, you killed yourself," Aless smiled again, the 'kind' look never leaving her face. "I tried to stop you, but I was too late. You out-wrestled me for the gun, and blew your own brains out."
"And then you kill Miss Potts and Mr. Stark."
"And then HYDRA saves the world, without Miss Potts or Mr. Stark or anybody else's interference. My dad will finally be proud of me."
"Your dad?"
"Arnim Zola," she smiled. "He was a board member, you see."
Sauer glanced around the room. The soporific had spread; she was helpless. She was going to die right there, next to Helen, and nobody would know a thing…
"Go to hell, Aless."
"You're consistent. Pity. You first, Sauer…"
A gun went off.
Alessandra Aloz twitched, screamed, and dropped Malick's gun. She scrambled for it, and turned around to see where the shot had originated.
Happy Hogun stood tall, right arm outstretched, a steaming pistol in his hand.
"Drop it, Aless."
"Harold, I…"
"Don't start. Put the gun on the floor, and step away from Sauer." His left hand started to shake, and the blood drained from his face. "Don't make me do this."
"We all make our choices, Harold," she said softly. "Are you going to do this now, after what we had together?"
"Choice is yours, Alessandra. Drop the gun and live."
Stark looked around his bodyguard, chauffeur, and friend, and then at the young women on the floor behind the scheming HR representative. One didn't move at all, the other stared at him with wide eyes. Fear… Brown eyes glanced at Aless, then back at Stark, and she made a letter L with her fingers. Stark nodded.
"I'm sorry, Harry…"
"Don't be sorry. Don't be HYDRA. Drop the gun."
Alessandra Aloz looked down at the pistol in her hand, and then back up at Harold "Happy" Hogun. She shifted her weight as if to get up, and moved as if to put the pistol on the floor with her uninjured left arm.
"Happy," growled Stark, as he shifted away from his friend, "southpaw."
Aless snapped up the pistol with her good left hand, and raised it to fire.
BLAMBLAMBLAM
Alessandra's body jerked three times. She crumpled, and the gun in her hand skittered across the floor again.
"Hail…HYDRA," she coughed. "Sorry…Daddy…"
She stopped moving completely, three small holes in the center of her chest.
Happy holstered his gun and ran towards Sauer. "Hey, Quick Draw." He kicked Aless' body aside to kneel next to his friend. His face and shirt dripped with sweat. He pulled her head to his chest in a friendly hug, and kissed the top of her head. "You ok?"
"Leg," she grunted, reaching for it. "Wound. Drugs. Bandages…"
Stark followed Happy, and ripped the soaked bandages away from the proximity burn. Sauer shrieked as the wound re-opened. Fresh blood flushed away the extra soporific the bandages had held in place.
"You bastard!" she screamed, attitude returning with fresh pain.
"My parents were married when I was born, thank you," he quipped. "Just a guess, but are shit-storms like this why you never wore a dress to work?"
"That, and you're a lecherous creep who's twice my age…OWWW!"
Stark had picked up Happy's cummerbund and was scrubbing Sauer's wound with it.
"Pipe down and let me get the goop off," he snapped.
"You gonna use a wire brush next?"
"If I want to do that, I'll use your other leg. Don't you ever shave?"
Sauer smacked his hands away. "I will when you do, Snark."
Happy sat back and started to laugh.
Then he coughed.
"Tony," he gasped, "I don't feel so great."
Stark looked up from his ministrations at Sauer's wound, to see a very pale Harold Hogun slump to the floor.
"Happy?"
Happy fell over, face down, and Sauer pushed him over onto his back. Stark grabbed Happy's throat, felt for a pulse, and then tore his shirt open.
"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" Sauer screamed.
Stark looked at the young woman as her eyes turned black.
"He's having a heart attack! What do you…" he shouted.
She waved him off. "Not YOU, idiot: HER!" Sauer pointed directly above Stark, then turned her face up. "LEAVE HIM ALONE! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!"
A calloused hand dropped on Sauer's.
"S'alright, kiddo. Don' fret. Wherz Pepper?"
"I'm here, Happy," She had run across the room after seeing Happy shoot her HR Administrator. "What's happening?"
"Heart attack," Tony grunted, "and they're both hallucinating. Get me the AED."
Happy grabbed Tony's hands, weakly, and smiled. "The plan, remember, boss? I gotta go. Angel-face here is my exit." He looked up, above Tony's head, and smiled. "Didn't know you'd be so pretty."
Sauer struggled to rise, slipping on the floor, her leg still unstable. "NO!" she shouted again. "You can't take him! THOR!"
"Somebody get the crazy girl out!" Stark snapped.
"S'ok, Tony," Happy reached up and patted his face. "You gotta take care of Pepper now, alright?" He reached for Pepper (who dropped the AED) and with shaking hands, put one tiny hand into Stark's. "Your job now," he whispered.
Pepper nodded and wept.
"Naw, naw, naw…BRUCE! HELP US!" Stark bellowed across the room.
The floor shook as Thor approached. "What is it, little one?"
Sauer pointed straight up. "TELL THE BITCH TO STAND DOWN!"
Thor scowled and shook his head. "Do not speak so, little one. She is not our enemy."
"WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE MAKE SENSE?" Tony bellowed. "WHERE THE HELL IS THAT AED?" In his panic, he didn't see it on the floor.
Thor sighed. "Bryn, show yourself."
Bruce grabbed the AED away from Pepper, and plopped down next to Tony. "Somebody get a towel.," he snapped. "We gotta dry him and the floor off. Stay with me, Happy." He looked up at Stark. "Can't use that on someone with a pulse, Tony."
"Tony," Happy coughed. "Doc, stop. S'alright." He smiled at his friends, then up. "Pretty."
"Leave him alone, please," Sauer begged.
"Bryn, NOW," Thor insisted.
"There are rules, my Prince," a smooth, female voice, with an accent like Thor's, came from the ceiling. "I can no more set them aside than can you."
"My shield-brothers and I have all faced death numerous times, Bryn," Thor said sternly. "We break no law here."
"As you wish, brottir," she sighed. "But mind the little one. She sees what she should not see."
Bryn shimmered into view: a female Aes in full armor, her 12-foot wingspan fully outstretched, hovering above the crowd around Harold Hogun. Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg placed right hands on their chests and bowed. The winged Aes gave Sauer a look both stern and kind.
"Please don't hurt him," Sauer begged. "He's a good man…he's my friend…"
"He is a Hero," Bryn corrected. "I do him no harm!"
"Killing him isn't hurting him?" Sauer was aghast.
Brynhilda shook her head and smiled, sadly.
"I slay none, child. He is dying, and with his weapon on him. It is our way." She reached out a comforting hand to the young woman. "I honor him. Would you have me abandon him now? Leave him here to rot?"
"It's complicated," Sauer whispered. "Please, leave him alone. He isn't finished yet."
"I have my duty," the Aes said gently, "try to understand." She landed and tucked in her wings, then turned towards Happy Hogun. She smiled at Tony Stark and Dr. Banner, both men stared at her, goggly eyed. "Gentlemen."
"Thor? Intro?" Banner wavered.
"My syster: Brynhilda Odindottir. She is a Valkyrie." Thor paused, looking somber. "She ministers to the hero."
Stark froze, a towel in his hands. He knelt next to the shirtless Hogun, staring agape at the Valkyrie. "Wow," he squeaked out. "You here to help Harry?"
Brynhilda smiled and nodded.
"Yes." She bent over Harold "Happy" Hogun. "I am honored to meet you," she said. One perfect hand caressed his face. "You threw yourself between your friends and Death. You…you are a real man," she murmured.
She kissed him on the lips.
And disappeared.
Harold Hogun breathed his last.