Adjusting the focus
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Chapter 11
''Do you think someone who's quirkless can become a hero?''
His companion snorts surprised. ''What? Quirkless? No way, no chance. People like that would just get in the way.'' She hesitates for a second, probably realising how her words sounded. ''No offence of course, I mean it isn't like it's their fault.'' She adds the sentence awkwardly like it's a consolation prize.
A throat gets cleared. ''Anyway, where's this coming from?''
''Oh, nothing. Don't worry about it.''
Silence takes over their conversation.
Today had been a bad day.
Izuku had woken up in the night three times because of nightmares - The darkness was coming. His heartbeat was drumming and his blood was pumping. And the shadows were swallowing him, and he couldn't breathe, and he was drowning, his lungs contracting and eyes bulging. The hand was outstretched to him; his savoir. A spark of light in the surrounding gloom. Izuku's limbs couldn't reach it though; he was fighting the wisps of black curled around his arms and legs. They wouldn't let him go, clinging on him with tendrils no matter how far he went or how much he pulled. They wouldn't let him go, sucking him down into the oily blackness that was unescapable. He was sobbing, harsh ugly sobs wreaking his whole body, and then just one arm got free and he was so, so, so relieved.
In a mighty swing and with all his power left, he had grabbed the hand, his only way out of this hell. He was going to get out. He was going to get out!
But then he looks on in disbelieve as the grey fingers curl around his and his hand begins to fall apart and disperse with blood streaming down, down, down and –, when he finally had enough and decided to get out of bed despite the exhaustion that had descended deep in his bones.
The food he had eaten in the morning had left his stomach not even five minutes later, where after Izuku decided he just wouldn't eat for today. This same food he had eaten with a spoon he had accidently twisted beyond recognition with his stupid kind off quirk while throwing up and not even a minute later he had also accidently broken the sink and faucet.
His mother came downstairs to find him panicking over the remains of them with a spray of water spurting out of the faucet.
Later, in the middle of his walk to school it had begun to rain. Hard. Izuku who didn't have an umbrella nor jacket with him was drowned in half a minute.
Finally arrived in class he was sneezing, wet, nauseous, he had a head-ache and was late. The teacher also seemed to be in a bad mood and spend ten minutes lecturing him in front of the rest of the class.
The rest of school day was horrible. Izuku himself was a mess. He was shivering and nervous. With the incidents this morning, he decided that better safe than sorry and he touched as little things as possible. Shifting felt dangerous, as did writing notes, which meant he got another lecture from one of the teachers for not writing anything down, or being too slow while doing it. Izuku hadn't really been listening anymore at that point.
When school finally ended and while he's walking back to his home, again in the rain, he's just done with everything and he wants to crawl inside his bed and never get up again. He won't though. He has already had enough nightmares for today. His mom told him earlier that she wouldn't be home today until late either. Maybe he will just sit on the couch for a while, staring at nothing and trying to keep his mind of everything.
Again, his day had been terrible. He thinks it takes a turn for even worse when Kacchan shows up. Kacchan with who he had their familiar dysfunctional friendship again. Which is dysfunctional because they still both lash out at each other almost daily (it's mostly Kacchan doing the lashing out though), but at the same time not really dysfunctional at all and better than Izuku has ever had before. Izuku doesn't understand, and he's really too tired to figure it out right now (Secretly he thinks that in no matter what life or universe, a truly normal, healthy friendship between the two of them doesn't exist.). Kacchan who, for all his amazing skills in basically everything but socialising, had never really been able to deal with Izuku when he got into one of these moods.
The blond looks at him for a grand total of nine seconds, growls and moves to grab him. Izuku flinches away, but Kacchan is relentless and then he's dragging Izuku with him to his home. He shoves Izuku inside, and forces him to sit down in the kitchen.
He mutters a quick explanation that his parents both aren't home yet and shoves a mug of hot chocolate milk in his hands before Izuku registers it. Izuku stares frozen at the vulnerable mug in his hands and tries his best not to move.
Kacchan growls again, and Izuku wonders when that became his main communication middle again. He remembers cute, little Kacchan babbling on and on.
''Oi, stupid, are you going to drink it or not?''
Izuku blinks up at him, standing in the kitchen, hips cocked and his hands on them. ''I don't think I should, Kacchan, I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm not feeling very well. I'm not sure if this is the best thing I should be drinking now.'' He tries to give him a smile and carefully places the mug on the table. His fingers twitch. He won't drink anything now. Preferably hungry and thirsty over throwing up.
Kacchan narrows his eyes however, looking like he had expected that, and snatches the mug of the table, returning a second later with another still steaming mug and forces Izuku again to accept it. ''Tea, you should be able to drink that, right? 'S good for people with a stomach-ache.'' He looks smug as he says it. Izuku hesitates.
''Kacchan, I'm- ''
''No, fuck that Izuku, drink. Now.''
Izuku obediently takes a careful sip of his too hot tea. He really doesn't want to have an argument with Kacchan now. The familiar small warm feeling envelops him as his tongue burns. The boy smirks at him gleefully before frowning again. ''Now, get up. We're going to my room.''
Izuku gets up reluctantly, trying to move behind Kacchan, but he's having none of it. He hustles him in front of him even with Izuku flinching like there's no tomorrow, and forces him to go up the stairs first. When they get to his room, Kacchan drops his and Izuku's bag, and takes the still almost full mug of tea out of his hands. ''Come on, you need to get out of those wet clothes and shower.'' Again, Izuku is hustled to the bathroom. Kacchan lays out a few of his older, comfier clothes and grabs a towel for him and leaves him to shower. When the door behind him closes, he calls out ''Don't you dare fucking come out of that bathroom without having showered, or I'll fucking kill you bastard!''
Izuku is done in less than ten minutes but he feels a lot better, not that he will admit that. Kacchan looks satisfied when he comes back into his room again, still dead tired with burning red skin but a little bit more relaxed. He shoves Izuku in his bed, forcing the tea-mug in his hands again. ''It's still hot, so drink up. After that, go to sleep fucker. Your face makes me want to drown myself. It'll be alright, I will just stay in the fucking room and make some homework. We can try to eat some soup together later.''
Izuku smiles weakly, softly and sniffles a bit, feeling tears well up in his eyes. ''Thanks, Kacchan. You're the best.''
Kacchan flushes. He storms away muttering angrily and Izuku can distinctly hear the word cry-baby but he stays in the room, dropping with force in the chair before his bureau.
Izuku is done with the tea after five minutes, after carefully taken sips as he watches Kacchan muttering angrily at his math paper, or rather his math teacher who gave him the paper. After that he sets the cup on the nightstand next to Kacchan's bed and determined to stay awake, stares out of the window, Kacchan's muttering becoming a pleasant buzz. He falls asleep two minutes later.
He doesn't have any nightmares.
''Hello Hideki.'' The man in front of him snapped up as Izuku closes the door of the cell.
''Izu-chan?! Izu-chan, you're here again!''
A happy day then.
''Yes, yes. How are you? The nurses told me you've been doing great.''
The man puffed up, looking like a proud child. ''I've been the very best!''
Izuku felt himself chuckle. It almost didn't feel mechanical anymore. ''I can see that.''
''No, really! I drew this for the nurses!'' Izuku stared at the complicated drawing, full of small scribbles. He recognized some formulas and long names. ''Her husband is sick, she said. Also!'' He crowed, switching topics in an instant ''You know, today we got pink yoghurt again, and I didn't even complain!''
''You didn't?'' Izuku followed the change in topic obediently.
''No, I didn't! I should have of course. The chemicals in the pink yoghurt today didn't agree with the ammonia in the human body. The doctors must be really stupid to not have realized.''
''They didn't? How do you know?''
Ignoring the last question, the other answers the first. ''No, they didn't! Everyone who had yoghurt is going to feel sick soon. Eishi already threw up.''
''Why would you eat it then?''
''Mmm? No, no, no, I don't get sick. I'm used to it. Sensei liked messing up the chemicals and components in my body.'' Hideki gave a bright smile.
Izuku's answering smile was strained.
Midoriya Izuku, Shouto learns, is not someone who can easily be shaken off.
Shouto tries of course, but every time those big, tired eyes turn to him again, it's becomes increasingly hard to deny that because of something it's not working. Midoriya is still there. After months, Midoriya is still there. And horrifyingly enough, Shouto begins to find he doesn't actually mind it that much.
It's terrible.
But Midoriya is so hard to turn away, and even when Shouto tries to Midoriya is too obvious or the latest months too stubborn.
That hard-headedness had been a shock. Shouto remembers it quite well. He had had an awful, terrible day, and he shouldn't have but he took it out on Midoriya with harsh words, hoping to finally make Midoriya leave him alone and Midoriya had looked back at him with fierce eyes, unlike anything he had ever seen before from Midoriya, and had said ''No, that's not right, Todoroki-san. I'm not going just leaving you when you're acting this way.'' Leaving Shouto so baffled he hadn't know what to do or say. Later, Midoriya had even bought him an ice-cream, something Shouto rarely had, in a flavour Shouto had never had before but found that he really liked. Midoriya seemed to have a feeling for those kinds of things though, so maybe it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise. Shouto still wasn't sure what exactly to make of that day.
Fact was Shouto wasn't even sure anymore if being friend with Midoriya was all that bad. Even after months he hadn't asked after Endeavor, so him manipulating for Shouto seemed to be a little far-fetched. And while when they had just met Shouto had had the excuse of them not being close, hell, they barely knew each other at that point, after all this time Shouto thinks he can say he at least knows Midoriya well enough to say something like that would be decidedly out of character. Shouto also had to admit, that he actually liked Midoriya. It was kind of impossible to not like him, really.
And while the idea of someone wanting to play with him frequently, who wanted him as a friend, who actually would be a friend, seemed a little bit weird. It wasn't necessarily bad. It was actually kind of nice.
So, while Shouto was feeling conflicted and Midoriya hit the hammer on the head when he unknowlingly made a remark about it and taking the decision out of Shouto's hands, well it was almost given Shouto would give in. Just like he apparently always did with Midoriya.
''If you want to talk about it, Todoroki-san, you should say! That's what friends are for after all!''
Embarrassingly enough the Sludge Villain catches Izuku precisely the same way as he did in his previous life. It isn't even in a different place. One minute he's just walking and then there's heavy, sticky slime surrounding him from all sides, making breathing harder, and one of Izuku's hand scramble at the slime in front of his mouth desperate for air, while the other finds his way to his messenger's bag on instinct. And even though it's been so, so long, Izuku recognizes the source immediately.
In those few seconds that the villain had him captured a million thoughts go through his head.
He asks himself if he should just wait until All Might would be here. If he should take the risk. If he even could defeat him. Options of how he could also come up. Because of his full liquid form Izuku knows that physical blows would be of no use against the Sludge Villain unless Izuku had the kind of power All Might had. It's an irritating quirk. Hard to defend against, and in need of a rather specific defense. Which was also the reason last time the heroes didn't approach Kacchan while he was being possessed. Extra water of extra dirt would be able to confuse the ratio of his liquid body, which should be able to at least slow him down. Extreme temperature would be able to defeat him. The cold would be able to freeze the water of his form and the warmth would be able to condense it. Kacchan hadn't been able to stop him with his explosion though.
His rummaging hand freezes around his stun gun in his bag. Izuku could try electricity. He wasn't sure if it would work. But he could try it. On the eyes his mind whispers.
It's almost stupidly easy. After such long time of not really struggling besides for one hand, the villain doesn't expect the resistance. With his sight becoming hazy and his lungs beginning to hurt, it takes only a second of straining the muscles in his arm and then it breaks through the mud. And it's at this exact moment All Might (Yagi-san, Yagi-san, Yagi-san, you finally came home.) arrives. Izuku is wide eyed. He is sure All Might would be too if one could see his eyes. In the short moment Izuku has he can at least see that his brows are pulled up. And the Sludge Villain's eyes, as he is surprised by both All Might and the sudden resistance of Izuku, are very wide. It's almost pitiful. Izuku's arm shoots further up, making half a circle before, Izuku punches back over his shoulder with the stun gun crackling, hitting right in the squishy flesh of the eyes.
Everything seems to freeze for a second. Then there's a loud cry and the sludge around Izuku gets pulled away, and Izuku knows it was highly possible it would come back in only seconds. Only it sets All Might off too. And not even a minute later the villain is in the bottle and All Might is standing in front of him, Yagi-san reflected in his still wide-eyes.
Then he awkwardly clears his throat and he's All Might again. His posture flairs up, he laughs loudly and a boisterous voice exclaims ''I'm really sorry! You got involved in my removal of the villain! I don't usually make beginner mistakes but maybe-''
And Izuku has to remind himself as he watches All Might bluster that he isn't supposed to know him. Not even as Yagi-san.
And just like last time All might is already leaving when Izuku finally manages to order his mind enough to actually begin to answer.
There's a small part of him that wants to reach out. To be that special someone who knows the secret once more. To force All Might to stay.
Midoriya ignores it.
He's left alone staring up in the sky where to All Might disappeared.
Hello Hideki.''
''Izu-chan?'' The man sat up from where he was laying on his cot. ''You came back? You shouldn't have.''
A calm day then.
''I don't mind Hideki-san. It's nice to see you every now and then. I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit as much lately.''
''You don't really mean that, but as long as you take care of yourself. You good?''
''Yes, like always. It's becoming nicer out. The sun is appearing more often. I have always liked spring over winter.''
''Mmm, I remember. No above or below average temperatures, right?''
A strained smile. ''Right.''
''Izuku! Izuku!'' There were loud, hasty footsteps in the hallway. Izuku blinked in surprise. He stood up from their kitchen table where he had been reading and moved to the door opening. ''Mom? What's is it- ''
His mom came sprinting into the kitchen, trying to stop abruptly when she saw him but slipping slightly further by her momentum. ''Izuku!'' she wailed right into his face.
By now Izuku was beginning to panic too. ''Mom?!''
She fumbles with something in her hand and shoves it to Izuku. He almost drops it and his mom squeaks. ''What's this?!...'' His voice droops as his eyes fall on the letter. In the corner, there's the bright golden logo of U.A. high. He freezes as he stares at it and the world falls away.
'What the?'
As in a haze he opens the letter while his mom flutters nervously next to him. Unlike when he got accepted into Yuuei it isn't some high-tech message. There's a simple paper which while it looks very official is still plain. Izuku finds it relieves him. His eyes flitter around the paper hastily. The anxious air of his mom is affecting him a bit.
''And?! What is it?!'' His mom prompts.
''It's- It's a summoning, kind off? Mr. Principal, Nedzu-san, says he would like to talk to me about something, next friday?''
''Huh?''
Yeah, that's what Izuku thought too.
Izuku blankly follows the UA guard in front on him slowly. The occasional glances send back at him are ignored.
Looking around Yuuei was as much familiar as it was not. The high impressive building and the bright green surroundings, things he had looked forward to seeing every day at this age his previous life.
(Their dorms had been the first to burn, followed by the ones from the B-class. The smoke had choked him and the heat had shrivelled his skin. It had been with a sense of disbelieve when he looked at the proud U.A. High being bombed to nothing but ash.)
''Come on kid. We're here.''
Izuku thanked the guard for showing him the way -even though he already knew-. Then he turned to the doors in front of him with a small feeling of dread and hope. He knocked.
It took only a few second for the principal to call him in. Carefully, Izuku opened the door peering inside.
The familiar sight of his previous slightly quirky principal greets him, sitting in his too big leather chair, and still there's just a hollow emptiness swirling were normally his emotions were.
He waves him in. ''You must be Midoriya Izuku, right? Come on in. Sit, sit.''
Hesitantly Izuku moves to the chair in front of the bureau of the principal.
''would you like some tea?'' Izuku nods thankfully for the cup already being shoved into his hands.
''Now, I'm Nedzu, otherwise known as Mr. Principal, the guy you can't quite make out if he's a mouse, a dog or a bear!''
Izuku sweat dropped. At least that never changed.
''Hi, Mr. principal. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Midoriya Izuku.''
The principal gave something which by now Izuku could identify as a smile. ''Likewise. Ah, before we get this started, you don't seem to have taken your parents or a guardian with you?''
''Oh! I'm sorry! Was that required?'' Izuku fiddled nervously. ''Mom had to go to work today at this time and there wasn't anything which indicated she should come with me. So, I decided to just go alone. Mom gave me permission, of course. But-''
Mr. Principal held his hand up to stop the word stream coming from the boy. ''No, no, it isn't required. Just most times, when children your age get asked to come here, someone accompanies them.''
Izuku nodded and fiddled.
''Now then. You may be curious as to why I asked you to come here. The truth is that I recently had a visit from- '' And Izuku stared as the principal went off in his familiar long-winded spiel. Izuku did his best to listen but the truth is that his attention did snap back only when he heard ''and thus I sort of got a recommendation for you. This has repeated several times.''
''Wait What?!'' Izuku interrupted.
Mr. Principal blinked at him in surprise. ''You've been recommended for the hero department by several individuals. Though never officially.''
'What… who?'
''… Wh-what does that mean?''
''Well, unfortunately we can't actually let you enter by recommendation because it isn't official, however we want to encourage you to apply to the hero-course anyway.''
''But w-who?''
Mr. Principal seemed to understand that Izuku was a little bit off-key, gently he explained. ''Midoriya-kun, you like helping people, right?''
Izuku gave an uncertain nod. ''And you've helped a lot. By chance, I've met a few people who you've helped. And they're all really grateful. Some of them, well, they encouraged me to accept you in Yuuei.''
Izuku still fell blank. There was a small pause before Mr. Principal prompted ''Maybe you remember Yamoto Shizuka? Or Yuko Maiko?''
Yes, Izuku did remember those two. Yamoto-san had been a victim of a robbing, and Yuko-san's cat had been missing, and while she was searching she had gotten lost herself. When the police had come, Yamoto-san had given him her business-card and said if he ever had problems with jurisdiction she would like to help him as a lawyer. And when Izuku had found Yuko-san's cat and had walked her to a street she recognized, Yuko-san had given him a tight hug from which he had flinched away and a kiss on his cheek.
''They... recommended me?''
''Among others.''
''And you want me to…''
''Apply, at Yuuei, specifically the hero-course.'' Mr. Principal looked at him intently.
Midoriya didn't move, his face still blank, not sure how to react.
''… I'm sorry, sir, this is just a lot.''
''Take your time.'' There is a silence, where they both sip from the tea and Izuku gets his thoughts ordered.
''Sir, I'm sorry. I don't mean to insult you, but I'm not sure if I'm the best choice for something like this. I-I mean, as you may know, my quirk is kind of new to me and malfunctions from time to time, and uh.'' This was all rather personal and it made Izuku hesitate to proceed. He gestures uselessly to his head. ''I've got some mental-problems. Th-That came out wrong, I-I mean stuff like anxiety-issues. My emotions tend to be all over the place.'' He chuckles bitterly and his shoulders pull up nervously. His eyes avoid looking at the figure in front of him, afraid of what he would see there.
There's a pause.
''Nothing to worry about, Midoriya-kun, I'm sure we'll be able to work around that. Besides, it's only the the exams. It won't do any harm.'' Izuku snaps his head back to look at Mr. Principal. He's smiling.
Izuku tries to protest, no harm his ass. He remembers those robots exceedingly well, but Mr. Principal easily overtakes him. Even when Izuku mentions his faulty control over his quirk.
And a half-hour later Izuku stands in front of the just-closed door of the principal, newly enrolled in the exams of UA-high, with a flabbergasted expression.
''What did just happen?''
When he tells, Bakugou is ecstatic, even though he tries to hide it. Mitsuki-san and Masaru-san are too but they show the whole world. A cake is bought, and they decide to have a small party in honour of him. Even Machida had given him an awkward congratulation, and Izuku doesn't understand at all. He tries to say he hasn't actually been accepted yet, he will just participate in the exams.
He secretly is a little bit pleased himself, although he knows he can't actually let himself be accepted. Deep inside he stills want to be a hero, wants to go to Hero Academia, see his friends again, but it's too dangerous. He wasn't kidding when he said he had volatile emotions. He wouldn't want anyone close to him when it goes bad. Kacchan has been close several times, but not truly yet and Izuku really wants to keep it that way.
He's dangerous, he's unable to control the power that he still thinks isn't completely a quirk but also not normal. The remains of his old quirk are definitely still there though, which sometimes suddenly blows up to the surface, which he also can only control minimally. To not even begin about all those chemicals pumped into him by Hideki-san. He has knowledge he shouldn't have and more emotional baggage than Kacchan has tantrums. He shouldn't be put in an unstable situation on purpose. Like for example anything related to Hero Academia.
At least, that is what he thinks, but he is evidently the only one.
He knows that the adults now he actually still wants to become a hero, and he knows that Katsuki knows at least partly, why Izuku says it is a bad idea that he becomes a hero. And with his heavy protest you would think the adults would understand he has a good reason for not wanting to do it. If you not mention they probably have a good idea why he doesn't want to be hero, as both mom and Yagi-san have seen him go off, but he is still evidently the only one that actually thinks that these things should refrain him from being a hero.
He smiles on the small party, enjoys the smiles of the other, and hopes the others won't be to hurt – or angry in Kacchan and Mitsuki-san's cases – by his decision to fail the exam.
(Really, he should have known that it wouldn't be that easy. It never was after all.)
The first time he sees Todoroki-kun use his quirk again Izuku flinches so violently that Todoroki-kun doesn't even recognize it as a flinch. He asks him with flat but earnest, innocent eyes how he tripped.
Izuku waves it off and watches as Todoroki-kun with his ever-passive eyes cools the water, not aware of how staggering -Painful- his quirk is. His ice that forms ever so thinly is as beautiful and deadly as Izuku remembers, and Izuku flinches again later when Todoroki-san reaches out with the cup holding the water. Again, when Todoroki asks, he waves it off, blaming it on the shock of the cold.
.
Splash. Splash. Splash.
Izuku walked slowly down the shadowed corridor, not sure where the walls where exactly or where he was going, but sure he had to get there anyway. The water only reached just below his ankles but it was cold - freezing - and occasionally reflected red in the small bit of light that shone, making it even harder for Izuku to see.
There was a hand gripping his. Even colder than the freezing water and it send shivers down his spine.
The hand tugged on his. He ignored it. It tugged again. He turned around and squinted in the dark at the figure slightly behind him. The only things not swallowed by the shadows were bubble-gum-pink-hair in a high ponytail and bright white teeth smiling at him.
''Should I kill him for you? Do you want me to do it for you? I would. For you, if it would make you happy, I would.''
The cold, cold hand was lifted and it slowly traced his face, making him shiver. Fingertips trailing over his cheek, over his nose, along the curve of his eyebrow, stroking his ear before following his jawline only to lower down to his neck until it finally stopped on his chest. Just on the top of his heart.
''I would take care of you. You would never have to worry again.''
Izuku blinked at the figure and she smiled sweetly.
Then her hand tensed and gave a harsh push. Izuku felt himself fall backwards into the red, thick, suddenly pleasantly warm water. (Not water. It wasn't water anymore.)
His vision became filled with red as fell under and under. He began to struggle while floating under. His arms flapping around and his lungs screaming for air, burning with ever intake Izuku took, while Izuku desperately tried to remember what was up and down.
And then suddenly it was over.
The air had turned over and Izuku had come up again, gasping for breath. He was sitting halfway into the water. His legs stretched out before him and the dark water ending around his belly. There was a distracting dripping sound, sobbing and the cobblestones Izuku could make out were weathered and old. Again, there was only a bit of light, coming from above out of a sloping circle, almost like he was sitting in some kind of well.
''I'm sorry, Izuku, I'm so sorry.'' The voice was breaking and interrupted by sobs but Izuku knew that voice.
His mouth still gasping, opens without his permission for sentences that begin to form and the words that it spills out that are as much familiar as unfamiliar, as a burning pain from all over his body begins to register in his head.
''D-Don't worry about Shouto. It's, ah, it's not your fault.'' At the end of the sentence Izuku is sobbing just as much as his friend, the pain taking over and colouring his sight red.
''But it is. It's my power, my quirk.'' His voice breaks again. The words feel like bricks as they're thrown back at Izuku.
''I-It isn't! You know that bitch is messing wi- '' Izuku screams as the water's temperature suddenly surges again. Becoming hotter and hotter until it's boiling and his body spasms and he needs to get out-
Izuku wakes up sweating heavily and with heaving breaths.
He looks at his clock.
03:27
He won't be able to sleep anymore. He sneaks out of his bed to take one of his night walks outside. His mom, like always, doesn't notice.
Katsuki doesn't have nightmares often. He isn't like Deku who seems to be followed by his demons 24/7. He does have them sometimes. Those times he will wake up sweaty with his quirk out of control, desperately gasping for breath.
From what he can remember from the dreams, they're stupid.
He dreams about his mother and auntie laying on the ground bloodied and dead. Explosions blowing up Deku right in front of him while he fucking chained to the wall like a dog. Sitting in the stupid fucking cell with a hunger eating his stomach from inside out and such a dry throat that it hurts to breath. Sometimes he can even hear the screams of Deku echoing through the corridors he knows that are there.
Those particular dreams are the worst. They remind him of his failure to actually do something those days. Of his inability to help.
Deku wakes him up sometimes too. Katsuki was angry the first time he did it. He doesn't want anyone seeing him like this. Especially not Deku, who has seen him on his weakest enough. He helps though. Unlike Katsuki, Deku seems to instinctively know how to comfort others. Or at least Katsuki. Sure, Katsuki could calm down Deku but that was easily written off as him doing that basically his entire life already. Other people were a different story. But it wasn't like he even wanted to comfort others. Most of the people on this world were shit, no matter what Deku thought. Deku was too nice anyway. Obviously, his idiotic tendencies were going to get him killed one day.
But well, if Deku was going to protect him from night terrors, even if it was completely unnecessary, Katsuki was going to have to pay back two-fold and also protect him from the day terrors that were people.
He didn't like owing someone after all.
Shouto honestly didn't particularly care for the topic, but he also was admittedly curious.
So… ''What's your quirk?''
Midoriya dropped the book in his hands. ''W-What?''
''What's your quirk?''
''Oh…'' There fell an awkward silence while Midoriya fiddled. It was so long that Shouto opened his mouth to tell him he didn't need to tell him, unreasonable hurt swirling around in his stomach. But Midoriya was quicker.
''I-I've got an enhancing quirk. Strength enhancement.''
He fiddled. Shouto nodded feeling a bit uncertain. There was obviously a story there. Shouto doesn't dare to ask.
Again, a silence. ''And yours?'' Midoriya finally asked.
Shouto blinked in surprise. ''You've already seen my quirk. Don't you remember me freezing your drink?''
''No, no! of course, I do. I, just, that's not it? Is it?''
Surprise, again, this time mixed with darker feelings, streams through him.
''… No, it isn't.''
Midoriya looks at him, through the bangs hiding his eyes, and smiles. It looks more like a grimace though.
''You don't have to talk about it if you don't want too.''
Shouto doesn't.
Midoriya had of course always known the second part of his quirk. You didn't have to be smart to figure it out, especially if you considered that Midoriya knew (of) both Shouto's parents. And Shouto had learned that Midoriya, if anything, was very, very smart.
No, Shouto had no illusions about secrecy.
But Shouto liked the feeling he got when he was with Midoriya. He liked Midoriya. He didn't want to ruin that with his problems. Not with his fire quirk. He didn't want to involve Midoriya with his father.
Shouto should have known trying to achieve that was just a faraway dream.
His father was big towering over Midoriya. His bright fire casting shadows on his face.
''So, this is the brat you've been spending so much time with?'' His father booms. And Shouto wants to step in between them. Protect Midoriya from the angry glare directed at him. His father doesn't even glance at him though and Shouto doesn't move.
''What gives you the right to interrupt my son from his training, brat? My son has far more important thing to do than... indulge someone like you.''
And well that's it. If his father hasn't destroyed Midoriya's confidence in those few words, Midoriya will guilt himself in leaving Shouto alone. Hate floods through his being and he clenches his fists but he doesn't interfere. He knew better than that by now.
However, Midoriya surprises him once again. (And really Shouto should've been used to it by now.)
He straightens, lifts his head, looks his dad right in the eyes. For almost a minute they try to stare each other down, making air around them tense, like it's humming.
''It's okay if you think that. It's just that I would avoid saying it actually out loud again as it makes you sound like an idiot.''
And Shouto snaps his head to look at Midoriya who just may as well have laid the words of the second-best hero at his feet, stomped on them and spit on them for extra measure, and then had fucking insulted him into his face.
In the corner of his eye, Shouto sees his father shift subtly in surprise. Obviously he hadn't expected anything like this from Midoriya's appearance.
Midoriya opens his mouth again and Shouto is as much anticipating as fearful.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, though, Midoriya gets interrupted by a phone ringing.
The tense air is gone in less than a second. Shouto shifts disbelieving eyes to Midoriya who cringes. Then the phone rings again and ''Ah, uh. Sorry. Could you, eh, please wait for a second. I've, uh, I've got to take this.''
Shouto keeps on staring at him. His father's fire flickers.
''Uh, yeah.'' Izuku fumbles.
And he fishes his phone out of his pocket and turns around halfway for some illusions of privacy.
Shouto can make out the moment he picks up because the second he does a wail so loud that Shouto can hear it from a few feet away bursts out from the telephone.
''IIIZZZUUUUKKUUUU!''
Midoriya blanches, flushes and squirms, turning further away from them.
''Uh, hi mom.'' His voice is more of a murmer.
''Where are you?! Izuku, you forgot your bag! Izuku, you forgot your bag!''
''What? I'm at the park, the one with the fountains. Mom?''
The voice in the phone seems to somewhat calm down, and Shouto can't make it out what it says anymore.
His father looks strangely uncomfortable.
Midoriya converses for a minute, before his eyes widen ''What?! Mom! You don't have to come here to bring it! I will come home as soon as I can! I promise!''
Midoriya's mother answers something and Midoriya turns to look at the entrance of the park in horror.
''No, no, mom really- '' A small woman appears in sight and Midoriya trails off. She stops for a second to scan around, before she sees Midoriya and she runs to them, waving Midoriya's leather bag. Shouto hadn't even noticed it missing, but now suddenly looking at Midoriya standing there without his bag, he looked incomplete.
Midoriya sighs, but a soft, gentle smile appears on his mouth anyway.
''Hi mom.'' And the woman slows down, stopping before him, suddenly looking a bit embarrassed suddenly.
''Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I. Just I saw your bag on the table and I panicked- ''
Midoriya interrupts her. ''I know. I know.''
And the woman smiles back sweetly. It makes Shouto a bit uncomfortable, like he is interrupting a private moment.
His father must have felt the same thing because he actually shifts in discomfort. The woman snaps out of it because of the movement and she shift her gaze on to the two of them.
She looked even smaller now and was a bit chubby, but Shouto found it strangely fitting for the woman. She also had the same green hair as Midoriya, and the same sweet smile. If Shouto hadn't already known it from the conversation, by now it would have been obvious to him they were at least family.
Her eyes widen considerably and she snaps her head back to Midoriya ''That's- That's Endea-Endeavor!'' She stutters it like it's a question, snapping her head back and forth.
Midoriya nods uncomfortably, giving Endeavor a warning glare behind her back. ''Yes, he's the father of Todoroki-san. You know, the one I told you about.''
''Todoroki-san is part of that Todoroki family?!''
''Yes'' He answers awkwardly
''I thought you didn't like-''
''Mom.'' Midoriya interrupts, giving Shouto an apologetic look that Shouto doesn't quite understand.
The woman starts. ''Oh, god. Of course. I'm so sorry. I-It's a pleasure to meet you. Uh. Endeavor-san. And Todoroki-kun, of course.'' She looks shaky but she gives Shouto one of those familiar sweet smiles. ''Let me invite you to dinner to make it up to you.''
Midoriya frowns ''Mom, you literally have done nothing to apologize for.''
''Shush, Izuku.'' Then she turns expecting eyes to them.
Shouto's father shifts again, but finally seems to find himself again. Harshly he rejects the offer, using the fact that Shouto 'has to train' as much as an excuse as a reason.
The lady, who Shouto by now has decided is nice just like Midoriya, looks a bit confused. ''B-But your son has to eat, right? It's time for dinner.'' Before she immediately takes back her words, looking flustered. ''Not to be rude or anything! If you don't want to eat with us, you shouldn't of course! I'm sorry for forcing my opinion on you!''
His father seems absolutely flabbergasted with Midoriya's mother and her apologizing. Once again, he's thrown off. And then people around them start mumbling. Shouto doesn't know it but Midoriya and his mom are well known and liked in these parts. Shouto's father of course is also pretty distinctive and eye-catching.
It didn't help that this park was a well-liked location where lots of children and other parents gathered. Making this the central of the gossip of parents from at least three whole districts. If any gossip began here, it would be around the whole city in a week, and on the internet in less.
Endeavor obviously realises this too. He clenches his jaw and through gritted teeth he says ''I'm sorry, miss, I didn't mean any offence. Of course, we would like to accept your invitation. However, unfortunately as I have work this evening, we won't be able to take you up on your offer tonight.'' A small pleased glint appeared into Endevor's eyes. ''I'm sure you can understand.''
The small woman seemed to shudder, before looking at Midoriya again. There was some kind of silent conversation and Midoriya opened his mouth. ''Can Todoroki-san eat with us then? Otherwise he would maybe get lonely. I'm sure you can understand?'' The last sentence gets added like an afterthought, a teasing, mean undertone to it.
Shouto felt his jaw slack a bit.
Midoriya's mother supported him. ''I think that may be better. A child Todoroki-kun's age shouldn't be alone too much. O-Of course, only if you d-don't mind, Endeavor-san. A-And if Todoroki-kun doesn't mind too!''
His shitty dad's jaw clenches even further and Shouto swear he can hear the teeth gnashing. His huge bulging muscle tense and his veins puffing out. Midoriya's mom shrinks away, and Midoriya who is barely just as tall as his mother steps in front of her rebelliously.
A small child someway off points at Endeavor. ''Mom? Isn't that Endeavor?!''
''Yes! Yes, it is, honey!''
''And he's with Izuku! He helped me find my ball yesterday! Where's my phone?! I gotta take a pic! I need to show this to Takao!'' The mother laughs.
Endeavor shows a smile which is filled with teeth but to Shouto's complete disbelieve, he doesn't disagree.
He turns around angrily without a word, and without further ado, he storms away. Just like that.
They all stare at his back until he disappears out of sight. For a few second it's completely silent and then Midoriya's mother bursts out into tears.
'….'
Shouto stares at her dumbfounded. Should-Should he do something? Of course, he should do something. But what was he supposed to do?
He throws a lost expression at Midoriya.
However, Midoriya is smiling. And not just a simple smile. No, one of those really sweet soft ones that Todoroki has only seen exactly two times. Shouto is pretty sure one's not supposed to act like that when your mother is crying in front of you.
''Shhh, mom, it's okay.''
''Oh, my god. Izuku. That was Endeavor. Oh, my god. Izuku, that was Endeavor, Endeavor. I just talked with Endeavor. I made him angry.'' Midoriya smiles again. ''Yeah, I know.''
''Izuku. Endeavor. What have I done?! That was Endeavor. My son knows the son of Endeavor. My son knows the son of Endeavor.'' Shouto was completely rendered speechless, looking at this woman, Midoriya's mother freaking out. He had no idea how to react. At all.
''Yes. Mom, I do. This is Todoroki-san. I've told you about him.''
Midoriya's mom just stared at Shouto in disbelieve.
Midoriya chuckled, apparently unaware that Shouto had broken his mother. ''I'm sorry. She. Eh, doesn't handle stressful situations very well. A bit like me, really.'' He laughs awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.
Shouto wasn't sure how Midoriya defined handling stressful situations well, because to Shouto it seemed Midoriya was handling this situation very well. Maybe this wasn't what a stressful situation by Midoriya's standards. That didn't really make Shouto feel better.
Midoriya's mom doesn't calm down for a while though, taking so long that Midoriya moves them to bench where she can sit down, all the while muttering encouragements and other soothing things.
Shouto stares at them, and despite the difference in height; because Shouto is already taller than Midoriya's mother and Shouto finally knows where Midoriya's short height comes from, Shouto feels undoubtedly smaller than the both of them. There's also a sensation of realisation. Holy hell, this was Midoriya's mom. There went his good first impression. He was so doomed. He opts for staring in the distance blankly. He should have known better than to hope for anything positive in his life.
Some minutes later, she finally breathes in deeply, before breathing out calmly. ''Okay. Yes, I can deal with this. Sure.''
Midoriya smiles. ''You're the best mom ever.''
The woman gives a weak smile back. ''N-Now, Todoroki-kun. I-I apologize for the freaking out. T-The offer for an apology-dinner is still open though if you w-want.''
Shouto shakes head in answer. ''You don't need to, miss. On the contrary, I should apologize for my father.''
Better to try to diminish the damage sooner than later.
''Don't worry about that. Y-Your father is an independent person. He should apologize for himself. Just like I'm doing. S-So, I would really like for you to join us for dinner, but only if you would like to do that to.''
Slowly, Shouto feels the corner of his mouth tug up a bit. If only a little bit. The woman's eyes flicker to his mouth and instantly she relaxes a great deal.
''If you truly wouldn't mind, I would appreciate it to accept your invitation.''
This time he gets not only a bright smile from Midoriya's mother but also from Midoriya himself and the force of the two together is just a bit blinding.
.
''Ah, mom, you haven't introduced yourself yet.'' Midoriya suddenly remarks while they're walking in the direction of Midoriya's home.
The small woman makes a sound which is a mix of pure panic, obvious distress and full of horror.
(''I'm Midoriya Inko, it's a pleasure to meet you!'')
''Hello Hideki.''
There's no answer.
''Hideki?'' Izuku tries again.
He looks around. Hideki is laid out on his cot staring up.
''Mmm? Izu-chan? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you.''
Izuku frowns. ''What kind of day?''
Again, there's no answer.
A quiet day then. Maybe. Izuku isn't sure.
Izuku ignores it and begins to talk. This wasn't the first time the other hadn't been all there when Izuku came to visit after all.
It's almost the end of Izuku's visit when Hideki suddenly shoots up. Izuku stares surprised at him, suddenly feeling cautious. ''What did you say?!''
''Eh, I gave it to Kacchan because he likes spicy things?''
The other frowned ''Kacchan? I know a Kacchan. He feels important. Mm, who was he again? Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan.'' He muttered, stretching the syllables in different ways.
Izuku slowly begins to stand and back away to the door. His hand move to the emergency button he always gets when he moves into the cell and he pushes on it.
And then in a hauntingly familiar fashion Hideki-san's attitude does a complete 180.
''That bastard.'' Hideki growls. ''I will kill him. Without him you would have given in. He caused this rift. Without him I wouldn't have been here in this dirty good-for-nothing building. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him.''
The nurses and guard fill the cell. Just before Izuku gets pushed out of the cell he hears ''Hideki-san. Calm down. If you don't calm down we will be forced to take action.'' And then the screaming starts.
Later, Izuku tries to apologize for the trouble he caused. The nurse smiled softly at him and interrupted him ''Don't you worry about it, sweetie. It's been a long week for him. A rebound was bound to happen sooner or later.''
It wasn't really comforting.
Izuku's mom is fiddling anxiously. She's wearing her black dress with green accents she bought only recently. And Izuku thinks she look gorgeous.
''Do I look-?'' Izuku's mom doesn't finish her sentence, but Izuku understands. So, he repeats again ''Mom, you look beautiful. Don't worry so much. It's only Yagi-san.''
''I know. But it's been so long! And I don't want to give the indication I don't think him to be important! And what if something goes wrong? What if he doesn't want to meet anymore? I mean I did become angry that one time.'' She trailed of her panicked rant.
''Mom, that was longer than a year ago. Your forgiveness was mutual. He isn't suddenly going to un-forgive you. Besides, we've known each other for years. Yagi-san isn't going to leave after only one argument. I would like to think we've known him long enough now to know that isn't like him either.''
His mom sighed. ''You're right. Of course, you're right.'' She walks to him and gives him a hug and a kiss on his forehead. Izuku notices that she has to stand on her tip-toes now.
The bell rings. His mom freezes and Izuku gives her shoulders a soft squeeze. ''Come on mom. It's been too long already. Nothing is going to go wrong. Yagi-san isn't going to suddenly leave again.'' He makes sure his own tension is hidden behind a thick mask of nonchalance.
''Yes. Okay. We're going to do this.''
Smiling, Izuku agrees.
''We're going to do this.''
I did it! Another one! And in only, what is it, three weeks or so?
I can't really remember when I updated last. And something went wrong when I did I think? At least the new date didn't show up on the last updated thingy, so…
Well whatever.
Now, this was about 8k, first it was around 10K but I decided that was a bit too ambitious for me. Good news though, is that that means I already have a part of chapter 12. Yay!
So, this chapter we see Nedzu, Endeavor, Shouto, Kacchan as usual, All Might (!) and Hideki is back at it again. We also see some hints of some past with Todoroki's quirk. That's going to be important on later in the story. At least that's what I'm planning for now.
I don't really have anything to address this chapter, besides the pink yoghurt and ammonia and a small bit about Shouto.
- Pink yoghurt and ammonia is complete bullshit. There's not even a basis for this. I'm tired. Stupid Hideki msut sound smart. end. (even though for proper smart people he probably sounds like an idiot.
Cause, Shouto is really sweet and all, but I do want you all to understand that Shouto does think that Izuku mentally isn't the strongest. Which isn't that surprising. Midoriya does after all have anxiety issues and all and is a super shaky person as of now. So, especially when someone like Endeavor talks him down, not only a hero, who Shouto knows Midoriya admires a lot, but also the second-best hero who is intimidating if anything. So, yeah. Shouto does expect him to leave after only those two sentences. That he doesn't is like super surprising.
And then, lastly, I did get one super sweet comment from Minato's Legacy, which was super awesome. And normally I don't like to comment on someone specific because it feels like I have to answer everyone then and I'm an awkward and nervous/shy person do I don't deal with that all that well. (I've actually already held myself from commenting on several, I almost did that one with this one too, so I'm really sorry about that) But you were super nice, and I really appreciate your comment. I don't want to reveal anything, but don't worry too much. Next chapter will have some extra interaction between Izuku and Yagi too. ;)
Also, the UA exams coming up!
As always, I want to thank you all so much for the comments! Every last one of your commentary does help a lot, and gets read, some of them embarrassingly often, as encouragement. I also try to work your advice and wants in as much as I can. So, again, thanks so super much.
I wish you all a very nice day, and thanks a lot for reading! Please review!