Act VII: Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
"Is this the one?"
"Yes."
"What's so special about it? To be honest, I still don't undestand how you're planning to race in it."
"You'll see. I just need to finish setting something up."
Shingo was showing off his new truck to another Night Kids member.
"Well, I think it's ready. Let's try it out." He said finally after the setup was done.
The engine sound was very agressive and quite odd for a truck.
"Wait, Shingo. Did you just install a turbine on a fucking truck?"
"Get in, I'll show you."
They sat in the truck and drove out of the garage. Shingo hit the highway and stepped on the gas.
"Holy shit! Don't you think it's too fast for such a heavy truck?"
"No, not at all. We're not using the engine to it's full potential yet."
"What?"
"Oh, by the way, I've also installed nitrous on it."
"That's just overkill!"
"No, it's not. Still not enough for the race."
"What race? What are you trying to do?"
"There's some new street racers in Gumma and it seems they are using magic to win races. The Umbra Witches. They need to be stopped as soon as possible, before they win any races against the locals. I have a plan."
"The Umbra Witches? I though they were just having fun and putting on shows. Are they street racers for real? Woah."
"They are, and I have a plan against them. We're looking for a CD. A videogame. The legend says it gives trucks abilities similiar to those that the witches possess if you insert the CD."
"Shingo, this makes no sense. Did you just literally waste so much money... for this?"
"Shut up, you'll see it's not for nothing."
Jeanne woke up. She had a terrible headache.
"Where am I? What happened?"
She got out of bed, opened the door and saw the Takahashi brothers in the room.
"Eehm. I'm sorry?" Jeanne said in a sleepy voice.
Keisuke went to explain to Jeanne what happened.
"Shit! All I remember was trying to fall asleep in the car. Then I went somewhere." She explained.
"Well, we saw you on Akagi. You were a mess."
"Oh no. I've been drinking? This must have ended terribly. Please don't tell me I did something stupid."
"Well, you vomited all over my car. It's all cleaned now though."
"Oh my god, sorry. I am so sorry. Shit, that's what I've meant!"
"You also arrived to Akagi in your car, we returned for it later and parked it nearby. Sorry, we had to take your keys. We were worried about it being stolen potentially."
"You also.. returned for the car? Thank you so, so much!" She was clearly very sleepy.
"We've called Bayonetta and she'll get here soon. I advise you sleep until then."
"Cereza? Oh, I thank you so much! I am in debt." She said and crashed back on the bed.
"You know, she's not as bad when she's not drunk or with her sister." Keisuke noted.
Mike and James were filming another AVGN episode.
"He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard,
He's the angry Nintendo nerd,
He's the angry Atari, Sega nerd,
He's the Angry Video Game Nee-a-a-aaahhh shit!" Kyle Justin screamed as he saw a truck approach them at a wicked speed.
The truck drifted three full circles around the filming ground, leaving a lot of smoke. When it finally stopped, Shingo got out.
"I would like to meet James Rolfe." He claimed.
"That's me." James answered.
"I've heard you had a copy of the legendary Big Rigs game. I really need that copy, James. I even have something I'll give you in return!" Shingo took out a rare Japan-exclusive Godzilla box-set from his bag.
"Holy shit! You know, take the game, I wanted to get rid of it anyway. Beware, however, I don't recommend playing it at all! You know, it fucking sucks, it's sucking fucks, yeah! I'd rather have Bayonetta kick my ass and then get fucked by Enzo rather than play it again! I mean it!"
"Don't worry, James, I won't play it."
Shingo and James exchanged and Shingo drove off.
Luka was sitting in the witches' apartament. He was watching TV when suddenly there was a knock on the door.
"Huh?"
He came over to the door and opened it. Behind the door stood Shingo.
"Hello, can I help you?"
"I am Shingo from the local street racing team Night Kids. We've heard the Umbra Witches wanted to race local teams, right?"
"Umm, the Umbra Witches are not here at the moment."
"Ah, right. You tell them we are waiting for them at Akina next Friday, ok?" Shingo said and started walking back to his truck.
"Wait, hold on... You should ask Bayonetta, I am not sure if she'll agree!" Luka shouted but Shingo ignored him. "Hold on! Damn, Bayonetta's going to be mad!"
Shingo got in the truck. "Time to test out the CD. You'll see that the witches have no chance of winning!" He announced to his friend. He switched to reverse and started accelerating, going in circles. The truck was gaining more and more speed and left the whole street in smoke.
"What the hell? Damn, I wish I had my camera!" Luka though.
Suddenly, the truck passed right through the apartment and vanished.
"What.. the.. fuck.. was.. that?!" Luka was scared shitless.
Meanwhile in the truck.
"SHHINGOOOO! AAAAHH, BRAKE FOR GOD'S SAKE. YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"
"Hold on, I'm sure we can reach higher speeds."
"I DID NOT THINK THE CD WAS GOING TO BE THAT HARDCORE. HOW FAST ARE WE GOING!?"
Shingo looked at the custom speedometer he installed to be able to track he truck's speed. "Well, we're about to break the speed of sound."
They were passing at least twenty cars every second on the highway.
"ARE YOU SURE WE WON'T GET OFF THE GROUND AND FLY TO RUSSIA IF WE DON'T SLOW DOWN?!"
The truck slowly began to spin.
"Don't worry, we are locked to the ground. Actually, I think we have reached the maximum possible speed at which controlling the truck is possible. I am going to stop right now, so hold on tight. The forces are gonna be insane!"
"OH, THANK GOD. WAIT, WHAT!?"
Shingo unpressed the gas pedal and the truck instantly stopped dead in it's tracks. However, because of the insane speed and high g-forces Shingo didn't realize they were actually driving forwards before braking. Both street racers flew through the window and landed in a nearby lake.
"That exceeded all my expectations!" Shingo noted.
Bayonetta picked up Jeanne from the Takahashi brothers' house and the witches were driving back home.
"Jeanne, I've never seen you drunk in my entire life. What happened?"
"Ahh, nothing. Got frustrated because I could not fall asleep in the car. I don't regret it, though, I got to know Keisuke better, he's such a nice guy."
Bayonetta's cell phone rang.
"Yes?"
"Fuck, Bayonetta. I don't know how to explain."
"Cheshire? What's going on?"
"I think I just accepted a challenge from some... Night Kids?!"
"How are you going to challenge them, Cheshire?"
"Well, actually you are challenged. Listen, they drove a truck through the apartment at a speed higher than my jet could achieve... You know, back when I used to have a jet. They filled the whole street with smoke! Holy shit! I'm sorry, Bayonetta, I'm scared."
Bayonetta though of her apartment in complete havoc and got angry.
"Listen, Cheshire, I'll return soon and fly your ass to the moon."
"Really?"
"Yes, then I'll leave you there without oxygen! In other words, you're screwed!"
The witch hang up and floored the gas, hurrying back home.
When she arrived home Luka hurried to her and continued apologizing.
"Shut up, Cheshire. I want to see what's left of our fucking apartment." Bayonetta said in annoyance.
"What do you mean? It's intact!"
Bayonetta looked at their house and saw that it was, in fact, intact. She picked up Luka and flew up on her wings.
"Are you playing jokes on me? Didn't I prove enough times that fucking with witches wasn't worth it?" She screamed. They were already about thirty meters above the ground and Bayoneta wasn't stopping.
"Ahhh! Bayonetta, I swear, the fucking truck was spinning around, building up speed and then it passed right through the building. Shit, I'm not lying."
"I'm gonna let go, Cheshire."
"No! Bayonetta, please! I'm not lying! I've also heard them reference some CD. Please, I've never though of playing any jokes!"
"Hmm? Okay, let's say I'll believe you. You're going to do some research and let me know who we're racing, though. If you won't find anything you'll become the first man to fly to space without any aircraft."
"Okay, I will do anything you ask! Shit, Bayonetta, you're crazy!"
Bayonetta let go of Luka and he fell for over a hundred meters, landing in Jeanne's hands.