Another update in just over a week? I know it's crazy but yeah I want to wrap this up, so this is going to start from exactly where the last chapter ended, I could've put this in that update but tbh I've been stalling because this has an M rated part and I've been really nervous about writing any of these since it's been so long since I've written one, more like 2 years or something so please bear with me, I hope it isn't too bad. This is going to switch povs a few times but hopefully it won't be too much..

Chapter 29

Brendan's point of view

He sits there and listens to all I have to say, doesn't once interrupt just listens,

"He phoned and asked me if I'd drop off at the house on Christmas Day, wanted the family back together for it, I wasn't going to go but I couldn't help myself so I went earlier. I had known he was unstable and cancer had been attacking his brain because he had been diagnosed with a tumour so I didn't think there would be any harm." I talk so fast that I'm surprised Steven can still keep up with me, "There wasn't an answer so I just walked right in..."

All of a sudden I can feel myself being dragged into the memory,

Walking down the hall in the darkness, hearing the ticking of the grandfather clock and the leaky tap dripping, can remember thinking about how I wouldn't ever be able to put up with either if I stayed in this house. That thought alone sent shivers down my spine. There's a smell of dampness in the air it's like the full building is covered in it, every step I take the floorboards creek. I stop outside the door at the end of the hallway where I can see a flickering light from under the doorway.

"What happened?" Steven asks shaking me out of the thoughts and the memory evaporates like the dust in my dads old pub in Dublin.

"He was just lying there on the couch, I thought he was sleeping but it was as if he could sense I was there." I tell him, "His eyes just popped open and he started clutching at his chest.."

"So he were taking a heart attack yeah?"

"Apparently but my da he always liked to joke around so at first I didn't think he really was but even when I.." I trail off before I see the reassuring look in his eyes and that makes me carry on, "Even after I realised he was being serious I didn't do anything, he begged me to help him and I just stared, didn't do a thing." I huff before adding in, "I was half tempted to put a pillow over his face but I wanted him to suffer so I waited."

I can tell by the look on Steven's faces he's having a hard time digesting it all but he nods for me to continue, "He croaked out that he was sorry, he might've meant it might not have.. could've been talking about anything but as soon as he said it I don't know.. something in his eyes made me know exactly what he was meaning so I couldn't.. I could'nt even look at him because I knew if I did I'd break and I would try help and I really really didn't want to."

"I don't blame ya."

"I watched him take his last breaths Steven, I didn't flinch when he died I just turned around and left him there."

"He deserved it Bren."

"My nana didn't though." I nearly slap myself as soon as I say the words,

"What?"

"She knew, she knew and she done nothing so I.. I killed her." I force out, might aswell get all the secrets out in the open now, "She was sick, cancer and she must've wanted my forgiveness before she ye know so she told me she knew and she apologised and it was like something just took over me and I grabbed her in a hug but I just held on so tight." We sit in silence before it becomes to much and I break it, "Steven say something please."

"I dunno what to say."

"You've just found out your boyfriends not only damaged goods but has played a part in killing both his dad and his gran."

"What do ya want me to say Brendan? Your dad deserved it and so much more for what he done to ya and maybe if your nan had spoke up about it she would've been able to stop him."

"I know." I take a deep breath, "Are ye going to leave me now?"

"What ya talking about?"

"After everything I've just told ye, I doubt ye even want to be in the same room as me."

"Brendan I love ya right, nothing's gonna change that." He pulls me to face him, "I don't agree with what ya did but I'm not gonna leave cause of it, I'm not gonna hurt both of us because something that your dad was the cause of."

"Maybe in the next life ye will get a better me, one that deserves ye."

"I don't need all that Bren, I've got you I don't need anyone better." I don't know why but I believe him, I've never felt more love than I do in this moment, I've just told him not one but three of the things I've never wanted anyone to find out and he accepts me and still loves me what else could I want?

I press my lips to his and lower him towards the couch, "I love ye, so much."

"I love ya too Bren." He whispers back before planting his lips back to mine,

"Do ye think this was all a plan?" I ask him pulling back,

He frowns at that, "What do ya mean?"

"Like we were meant to meet and ye were meant to change me. Make me realise that I can be better." I've wondered for a while because there just isn't any other explanation for how someone could be so perfect for me and so forgiving and accepting,

"Dunno, maybe." He sighs, "Ya know ya really do need to give yourself more credit your always goin on about how I've changed ya but did ya ever think how much you've changed me? Nobody ever really thought much of me till I met ya. Most people just thought I were a waste of space not that I could blame them." He huffs, "I only really had me kids, Amy, Doug, Sinead and Tony until you came."

It always hurts to see Steven putting himself down like this, "Nobody else matters Steven, not my da or your step da or your ma. None of them."

"D'ya think I'll ever meet my real dad?" He asks me, we've never really spoke much about his dad, the only thing I know was that he wasn't in the picture.

"Do ye want to?" I ask him,

He shrugs, "Dunno, just wonder sometimes what he's like? I could have a whole family out there I dunno about."

"I could look into it for ye." I tell him, of course it would be tricky but I'd try anything for him,

"Nah it's alright, if it's meant to happen it will." He smiles at me, "Bren?" He questions sitting up straight with a mischievous glint in his eye,

"What?" I laugh, can't help it when he's looking at me like that,

"Merry Christmas." He grins while holding up a bit of mistletoe that he had hidden behind his back.

I roll my eyes as I give him a kiss, all the while fighting the smile from creeping onto my face, we sit up for hours after that laughing, talking, kissing and hugging before Steven falls asleep in my arms and I don't have it in me to move so I just get into a more comfortable position and rest my eyes.

Cheryl's point of view

My eyes are stinging red raw as I make my way downstairs into the kitchen, seeing Brendan act so freely around Ste. Even smiling openly at him, it's the complete opposite from how he had been when I had last seen him

I still can't get over it, the words keep going round in my head. The man I had idolised all these years had turned out to be a sick cruel man. Everything had started to make sense, as I listened in on Bendan talking to Ste. I didn't need to look at him to know he was telling the truth. The selfish part of me had been furious why would he tell him but not tell his own sister?

Even now in the next morning I still feel sick to my stomach and as Brendan turns to me frowning as he takes me in, "Chez are ye okay?" I look between him and Ste's concerned faces while I feel myself break down before the words leave my mouth.

"I know what dad did to you."

I see the look of pain and betrayal cross Brendan's features as he turns to Ste and pushes him against the wall in what seems like a flash since the words left my mouth and all I can do is stand there while the tears roll down my face.

"How could ye!" He hisses at him, "I told ye everything, nobody else knew and I asked ye one thing not to tell my sister!"

Poor Ste just stands there frozen as my brother roars at him and slams him against the wall again,

"No Brendan!" I shout but am interrupted,

"Ye just had to didn't ye. Couldn't keep your big mouth shut!"

I finally find it in me to move when he pulls his arm away about to slam his fist into Ste's face as I latch onto his arm, "Brendan!" I shout again, "He didn't tell me, I listened in on you both last night."

He lets out a few heavy breaths and I feel him deflate as Ste looks at me with wide eyes still frozen to the spot and as Brendan's grip loosens on him, he shakes his hand off fully and barges through us,

"Jesus Steven im sorry!" Brendan shouts after him but Ste shows no sign that he's heard,

"Stay here, I'll talk to him." I tell Brendan as I follow after Ste and I'm hit with the sense of deja vu, "Ste! Wait!" I shout when I'm outside the flat just as he's about to make his way down the stairs.

"Ya should talk to your brother Cheryl, both of you just leave me alone."

"Come on babe, he needs ye, he told ye for a reason he obviously trusts ye."

"Yeah trusts me so much that he were ready for battering me without even letting me get a word in." He huffs, "I can't be around him when he's like that, I can't love him when he's like that."

"Babe please come back in."

"Nah, I care about you both but Brendan's obviously got issues he needs to sort out before he can even think about proper loving someone."

"How can ye doubt the way he feels about ye?"

"It isn't that, ya saw the way he were not even five minutes ago, he needs help and I can't give him that. I won't live always being on edge incase he blows up at me." He huffs, "I need some time to cool down and you and Brendan need to talk."

He walks away after that not letting me try to convince him anymore,

I walk back into the flat to see Brendan sat on the couch breathing heavily as he's bent over with his head in his hands.

"He's gone hasn't he?" He asks me without looking up, "I've really fucked it this time."

"Listen Bren." I sigh as I sit beside him but he flinches away,

"After everything I finally found someone that got me and I fucked it up, he's never going to forgive me now." He looks completely defeated and that isn't something I see in my brother very often.

"He said ye need help love and I agree with him, you've kept this to yourself for too long ye need to talk about it." I tell him, "To a professional." I clarify,

"No chance Chez." He grunts, "I'm not having some psychologist poke and prod me about my past, trying to analyse me when I already know what's wrong with me, I'm not right. Damaged Chez yeah?" He looks hysterical and I even see a tear shed down his cheek.

The tears are flowing freely down my face at this point, "Babe Ste makes ye happy doesn't he?"

He nods at me and looks me in the eye for the first time since I questioned him about our dad, "That doesn't begin to cover it, he makes me understand, he makes me believe that the world can be good again."

"Well would ye not do anything to get him back? Get help, show him your trying to change."

"I ain't going to change though am I? This is who I am Chez, I'm fucked." He hisses, "Seamus made sure of that."

Its the first either of us have mentioned him, "Was I?"

"No Chez don't."

"I was there wasn't I? In the room next door." I break down fully at that point, if only I had noticed, if I'd only have done something we could've stopped all this decades ago, "I'm sorry I wasn't a better sister."

He looks afronted that I would even say something of the sort, "Don't ye ever, Ye have forgiven me for things that nobody should ever need to for anyone."

"I'm your sister that's what I'm meant to do." I say my voice cracking, "Why didn't you tell me what he did to you?"

"How could I?" He answers back automatically, "He was your world."

"He was a lie Brendan." I say furiously,

"That's exactly why I didn't want to tell ye.. listen I've got enough to worry about can we just talk about this later?" He grunts while he gets up,

"Brendan where are you going? You can't go after Ste it won't do any good love!"

"I'm going to the club Chez."

"Please don't, it's Christmas." I exclaim knowing that this is most definitely the worst Christmas I'll ever have,

"Who cares?! I've just lost the only person that's ever going to accept me fully!"

"Babe don't say that, Ste's not going to be the only one to accept you."

"Well I don't want anyone else alright?" He snaps, since when did this turn into us arguing?

"You haven't lost him but if you go and get yourself into a worse state and do something stupid you just might!" I argue, "Please just sit down and talk to me, we can fix this, I promise."

I let out a deep breath as he takes his jacket off but I'm quickly back on edge when he walks through to the kitchen coming back with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

Something tells me this isn't going to be a Merry Christmas.

Ste's point of view

I can't stop from fighting with myself, part of me wants to run back to Brendan's flat dive into his arms and never leave, the other wants me to jump on the next flight out of here and never come back. I settle for the in between and instead go to the Dog in the Pond not surprised when I see it's near enough empty.

Mercedes and Theresa standing at the bar still wearing the clothes they had on at the wedding yesterday.

"Ste! Now there's a lovely face to see on Christmas morning!" Sinead exclaims while jumping on me from behind,

"Didn't see ya there." I snort a laugh, "What ya doin ere anyway?"

"I could ask you the same question?" She says with one eyebrow raised, "How about we get the drinks in and talk about both our problems, whoevers is the worst gets free drinks?"

"Sounds good." I grin,

"Well I'm gonna jump too the loo, you get them in then I'm all ears." She grins back, "I'll have a vodka cranberry."

I order a beer for myself aswell, again avoiding Frankie's judging eyes, is she ever going to stop judging people for drinking in a pub?

"You not seeing your kids today Ste?" She asks me trying to make conversation or being nosey I'd go with the latter though.

"Nah, Ames took the kids to see Mike for Christmas."

"Must be hard not having family around for this time of the year what with Doug and John Paul away to America for there honeymoon." She says sympatheticly,

"I'm getting them the day after tomorrow right through to new year so it isn't too bad." I sigh, even though it's hard to be without them I'm able to Skype them so they can show me everything 'santa' has brought them. It isn't the same but knowing I had Brendan to keep me busy had kept my mind off it guess that's out the window now though.

Thankfully Sinead comes back and we go find a table to sit it, "So I'm guessing there's trouble in paradise then?" She smiles sadly at me when we sit down,

"Ya guessed right, what gave it away?"

"Just that you've came in here today and there's only two reasons people come to a pub on Christmas, either because they have nowhere else to go or they're out to celebrate."

"Yeah well without going into too much detail Brendan told me something.. pretty hard hitting about his childhood, nobody else knew Cheryl listened in and brought it up this morning, Brendan went mental thinking I had told her.."

"He hurt you again?" She asked looking at me sadly before taking a long drink of her vodka,

"Sorta, he would've if Cheryl hadn't stopped him and told him the truth."

"So what are you going to do?" She asks me,

"What?" I say trying not to sound too surprised, "Your not gonna say you told me so, give me a lecture? Or try to find out what's went on with him?"

"Ste.." she sighs, "Your my best friend, you took me in after everything happened with my mum and Tony and Katy, when Bart found out Katy wasn't his.. I trust your judgment, I know I acted bitchy about you both to begin with but I guess I was kinda jealous that he was taking my best friend away from me."

"Your always gonna have me, if I'm with Brendan or not I'm still always gonna be there for ya. So what's happened with you? Trouble in paradise?" I sigh,

"I'll go get us another drink before we even get into that." She smiles sadly before leaving to go to the bar,

I had a quick look at my phone, a text from Amy wishing me a Merry Christmas from her and the kids, a picture message from Doug of him and John Paul in Times Square surrounded with snow along with a message wishing me a Merry Christmas and thanking me for what I said at the wedding. A missed call from Cheryl but no word from Brendan so I made a mental note to get back to everyone once I had made my way home.

"So.." Sinead muttered as she sat back down and put my second beer of the day down in front of me, "Basically Bart is trying to convince me to let my mum and Tony adopt Katy because apparently Katy isn't his blood and he doesn't want to be reminded of me cheating on him every day, I know it might be best for her but I just can't Ste, and if Barts going to make me choose between them both I'm going to pick her."

"That's how it should be though and he shouldn't be trying to force you into picking." I sigh giving her arm a rub, "Who's with her the now?"

"My mum and Tony." She exclaims, "Im just proving them all right aren't I? What kind of mum am I if I'd rather get drunk on Christmas than spend it with my own daughter?"

"Ya just need a break, you've got all this pressure on you and it ain't fair, Your still only young and your doing great, raising Katy as kinda a single parent working whenever ya can for her. I know what that's like and I would never say giving your kid away would be a good idea but maybe letting Diane take her more wouldn't be a bad thing." I smile at her,

"What about Bart though? Trying to talk me into giving Katy away has just properly put me off him." She frowns,

"Move back into the flat properly, switch between there and your mam's let him know you and Katy come as a package." I tell her trying to be as honest as I can be,

"Thanks Ste." She smiles,

"What are best friends for eh?" I grin back,

"So what you gonna do about Brendan?"

"I dunno." I shrug, "I love him and he makes me happy, nobody's goin to be able to compare to that."

"So are you going to go back to his?" She asks me,

"Honestly with the way I left things earlier I dunno what kinda stats he's gonna be in, I'm gonna just let him come to me when his heads sorted and him and Cheryl have proper sorted everything between them."

"Between you and me, I can tell he loves you a lot and that goes both ways, I'm sorry for trying to get in between you both when yous were just getting to a good place." She smiles at me sincerely,

"Don't worry about it." I grin, "How about I walk ya home? I've gotta get goin so I can Skype Amy and the kids."

"Ste I'm sorry! I completely wasn't thinkin here's me sitting talking about Katy and you haven't even got your kids for Christmas." She gasps covering her face,

I shake my head to let her know it's fine while I hold my arm out to her, "Alright let's get going then."

She beams as we both leave the pub together arms linked and I pull her closer to me almost feeling like its back a good few months ago before Brendan when I was blissfully unaware of how much an epic love would fuck with my head and my heart..

Brendan's point of view

I slam my hand against the arm of the couch in frustration, this was supposed to be the start of a whole new chapter for me with Steven by my side and now here I am sitting in the living room alone while Cheryl cooks dinner and gabs away to Lyndsey.

I know Steven had phoned her a few hours ago, Cheryl said he had sounded a bit better on the phone but she hadn't said if she thought I should go around or not but what else was I meant to do? Sit the full of Christmas with my face tripping and my brain driving me mad with thoughts of Steven.

Nope, fuck that I'm doing round to his and hopefully he'll just let me talk to him. I creep out the door, grabbing my bottle of whiskey and my leather jacket on my way. The walk to his is cold but what else can you expect in December? I take gulps of my whiskey to warm me up and it helps, giving me a slightly warm fuzzy feeling inside as the hard liquor burns down my throat.

I'm stood in front of his door before I know it and I don't think about what I'm going to say when he already answers the door, looking disheveled and almost as miserable as me.

"I'm sorry Steven." I say simply because what else can I really say? I'll get down on my knees and beg for his forgiveness if it would work but honestly I don't fancy making a fool of myself and I don't imagine Steven would appreciate it either.

He moves from the door and gestures his head for me to come in as he stands in the middle of his living room, "So I got to thinkin and ya know I love ya.."

"Please Steven.. Please don't do this." I sigh moving closer to him, maybe if I can just get him in my arms he'll realise he can't live without me the way I can't live without him. "I'll do anything to fix this, just name it and I'll do it."

"Don't make this any harder Bren." He murmurs, "We need some time away from each other, you need to sort yourself out."

"Your just using this as an excuse to end things aren't ye? Finally found out the big mysterious secret.."

"Don't ya ever say that Brendan! I just can't be with you, not until you sort yourself out." He shouts interrupting me,

"I don't need help, I'm fine." I sigh exhausted with needing to tell people that, "I shouldn't have done that Steven but your the only person I had told and my baby sister just blurted it out what was I supposed to think?"

"I don't know Brendan right! But ya weren't thinking at all." He sighs in frustration, "Until you get the help you need I can't be around ya, I've got me kids to think of they need me to be the best I can be and if I'm constantly walking on eggshells with you that's never gonna happen."

"So your saying if I go talk to someone you'll come back to me?"

"No don't put it on me, ya need to want to do this for yourself."

"I don't want to do it though, I would only do it for ye."

"What about your kids? Or Cheryl? They're gonna need ya to be there for them."

"I'm gonna, I'm gonna be there no matter what Steven, that goes for ye aswell.. I don't need to talk to anyone because ye help me be better. Nothing's gonna make me a better person that what ye have." Why can't he see that he's enough?

"Brendan.." he sighs, his voice cracking and I can see his resolve breaking,

"I promise I'll never do anything like that again, please just don't give up on me." I know it's wrong of me to do this, he's told me what he wants I should just accept that but I can't.. I can't lose him.

"I haven't, I already told ya I'm never gonna leave." He sighs before finally looking me in the eye,

I nod to him, "I guess that's all I hadta hear."

He smiles weakly, "C'mere."

After those words leave his mouth we slot into each other's arms perfectly, "Just focus on yourself alright and talk to Cheryl she won't be taking this easy ya need to be there for her."

When he's holding me in his arms it just feels like everything else is melting away, like nothing else exists but the both of us here and now.

"She's just found out her whole childhood was a lie Steven, it's the thing I've dreaded the most." I let out, I'm not sure if he can make out what I'm saying since my words are muffled against his hair.

"It's not been a lie Bren." He tried weakly to convince me,

"She's gonna look at everything different now."

"Maybe some parts yeah but your still her brother, she's never gonna think what you both have is a lie."

"Suppose your right."

"I'm right about a lot of things."

"I thought I lost ye."

"Ya maybe did for a minute right but I know ya weren't in your right mind." He tells me honestly, it still feels like a stab to the heart though.

"I don't ever want to lose ye." I murmur I don't think I've ever sounded so weak in my life,

"Ya won't."

"I'll go talk to someone if it's what ye want, because I'll do anything to keep ye with me. Ye know everything now, this is who I am."

"And I love ya but I really do think goin to talk to someone will be good for ya."

"Yeah maybe it will be."

"Give it a try just go one day and if ya don't like it we can figure somethin out." He smiles at me, "I'm sorry for storming off this morning when ya needed me."

"Ye don't ever need to apologise, your here now." I smile back and give him a soft kiss, "I love ye."

He kisses me back, "Maybe ya should go back to yours, Cheryl will be waiting."

"She's got Lyndsey with her and Nathan's going to be going round later." I sigh, "Please can I stay here?"

He looks thoughtful for a minute before nodding, we move to the couch and he holds me in his arms, after a while of sitting in silence I open my whiskey and take a long gulp of it and pass it to Steven, we sit for a while longer holding each other and sharing my bottle of whiskey, I lose track of time but it must be late because it's dark outside. There's some crappy Christmas movie on the tv and I know neither of us are watching it but we still sit in silence.

Long after the bottle of whiskey is finished Steven eventually moves to stretch out and yawn,

"I'm gonna head to bed Bren." He says and gives me a kiss on the corner of my mouth,

"I'll be here I guess." Even though I didn't want to let him out of my sight I wanted to give him peace and didn't want to push him too far.

"Nah don't be daft Bren, we've shared a bed before."

"Yeah but that was before ye know I nearly.."

"Can we just not talk about that right now?" He sighs before making his way into the bedroom,

I don't even think when I follow him in and grab his wrist, "Ye never fail to amaze me ye know?"

"How's that?"

"It was one thing being in the same bed with me after ye found out about my da and what I done to him and my nana but I nearly hit ye.. again. If Chez hadn't been there.." I trail off, what would I have done? I'm not sure I would've been able to stop myself,

"Well it's a lesson learned for us both then innit?"

"Ye ever wonder how long it'll take before I fuck up again? We went what nearly a month without one of my big blow outs?" I could tell just by looking at him that he didn't know what to say, "Ye do realise it would be better for ye if I just disappeared don't ye?"

I sit down on the side of the bed and let out a deep breath, he hesitates in sitting down beside me which makes me hate myself even more.

"Bren everyone argues it's normal.."

"But we aren't normal, anything that involves me isn't."

"Can ya please stop talking like that." Steven hisses out at me through clenched teeth, "Ya need to stop putting yourself down, there's nothin wrong with ya!"

"How can ye look me in the eye and say that after some of the things I've done."

"Because it's true!" He shouts, "D'ya think I would be able to love ya if your as terrible as ya make out? Or what about Cheryl or your kids or anyone else that cares? We don't lie to make ya feel better we say it because it's true! And as for disappearing from my life, good luck with that cause I'd just follow you."

Theres a few moments silence after Steven's outburst, he almost looks as surprised as me that he just spilled all those words out but before I know it were on each other, I don't know who made the move me or him or if it was a bit of each but we came together.

Our mouths attack each other as we tumble into a more comfortable position on the bed one minute Steven's stranddling me before I switch us round, he opens his legs to accommodate me as I grind into him, both of us relishing in the friction.

My teeth hit against his before my tongue trails along them, we pull apart as he whips my shirt off, buttons ripping since he doesn't seem to have enough patience to focus on them individually. Not that I'm complaining, this is one of the many sides of Steven I love, the demanding horny, pushy side that sometimes comes out during these times.

"Move in with me.." I grunt before I bring him into another searing kiss, I'm not sure if it's the drink of desperation that's made me ask him but its been the burning question in my mind for so long..

"Yes" he sighs, I'm not sure if it's to my question or a moan but I don't stop as our lips connect again while I work on his tracksuit bottoms as he accommodates me by lifting his hips, our body's already in perfect sync with each other. He digs his nails into my shoulder blades while biting on my bottom lip enough to draw blood before his kisses turn gentle as he tugs through my hair making me moan against his mouth.

Its rough and passionate but pure and loving, it sums us up perfectly. We make quick work on the rest of our clothes and as soon as I'm freed from my boxers his hands are on me stroking and pumping my member in perfect rythum as my fingers creep to his entrance, for a while we stay like that kissing and pushing and pulling at each other.

"Ye know ye have ruined me for anyone else, I'm always going to be yours now." I say to him in a hushed breath, and it's true I'm never going to feel more alive than I do with Steven just like this, everyone else just pales in comparison to him.

"I've been yours ever since that first night we had together." He tells me back in a low huskey whisper, the pleasure becomes too much for us both as I line up against him ready to push home his moaning spurs me on as I rapidly push against his sweet spot.

"I love ye Steven Hay." I tell him with a soft kiss before I slowly edge back in,

He pushes his hips off the bed towards me, "I love you.. Brendan Brady." He says through his whimpers,

Its frantic as we both rock against each other and we both know it isn't going to last long so we just take and take from each other just as much as we give back. His warm walls pull me in as one of his legs hooks against the top of my hip to give me a better angle his hard member rubbing between both our stomachs.

"Fuck.. Bren." He manages to squeeze out when we both reach our climax.

We lay there for a while catching our breath as he lies sprawled on the bed, I'm pressed against him my head buried in his chest as I feel his warm heavy breath against my hair.

"Why does everything seem simpler when we have sex?" He asks after a few minutes silence and my chest rumbles as I chuckle,

"I don't know." I tell him looking into his eyes, he ruffles my hair lovingly before planting a kiss against my hairline,

"I really do love you, I'm in love with ya and I'm never gonna fall out of that. No matter what I don't want to ever not be in love with ya."

"I'm gonna spend every day I breathe making sure ye never do.. Starting with today."

"I'd say ya were already doing a good job with that."

"No Steven I mean permanently, your it for me." I tell him trying to build up the courage for what I'm about to do,

"And your the only one I'm ever gonna want." He sighs while cupping my face and bringing my lips up to his,

"I want to spend the rest of my life with ye." I breath against his lips before I plant a sloppy kiss there, fuck it I've already asked him to move in what's another commitment really going to do? "I want to marry ye.."

TBH I had planned on them falling out for a bit longer but I just couldn't have them mad at each other.. Anyway next up is the final chapter then this will be finished! It's going to be a long one so I might split it in two I'll see how I feel..

also for those that are interested you all won't be waiting too long for the sequel of give me love (which is called too late to say goodbye BTW) since I've already got the first chapter pretty much complete just doing some finishing touches and a bit more planning for the first half of the story then it'll be up.. hope you all enjoyed LG x