AN: Here's chapter six, hot off the presses! I was able to write some of the stuff I've been looking somewhat forward to with this chapter, especially that last scene that I've had planned since pretty early on. I live for stuff like that to be honest.
Anyways, that's all I have to say this round! As always, thanks for reading, and please be so kind as to leave a review if you have a moment! Until next time!
Phantasmal Black
Chapter Six
Remains
Help, as it turned out, meant calling in one face that Hakuba had cause to know very well- and one that he didn't quite know as well as the one who he had spent no small part of his late teenage years chasing after.
Kuroba Kaito and Sera Masumi.
With a smile on his lips that hinted to Hakuba that Shinichi hadn't quite told them everything yet, he allowed the pair inside. The half-British detective didn't quite miss the dirty look that Sera shot towards Kaito whenever she thought he wasn't looking- he'd heard about his earlier, ah, mishap with her from their teenage days, and frankly, Hakuba wasn't all that surprised that she hadn't quite forgiven him for it, allies thought they might have become over the years.
Quite frankly, he kind of wished he'd been there to see none other than the infamous Kaito Kid get kicked in the face. After all of the trouble he had caused for Hakuba, he couldn't imagine how therapeutic that would have been- even if they were on considerably friendlier terms.
"Sorry for calling you both out on such short notice." Shinichi told them, leading them into the living room, briefly casting one eye up towards the stairs where the library was. He was quite certain that Paikaru was listening in on them from somewhere, even if he couldn't quite pick out from where. Casting a look towards Kaito, he noticed that the phantom thief seemed to pick up on it as well, turning to look over towards Shinichi with a hint of confusion on his face.
Simply shrugging his shoulders, Shinichi invited them both to pull up a chair, before taking a seat himself. He hadn't wanted to risk discussing something like this over the phone after all, so he'd only told them both that there was some important business regarding the Black Organization that he needed to tell them about, and that they both needed to come to his place as soon as possible.
"Don't worry about it, Shinichi!" Flashing him a quick smile of her own, Sera glanced across the way towards Hakuba, turning said expression towards him. The two of them didn't really know each other all that well, but they had heard a considerable deal about the other from the friends that they had found themselves sharing. "If you called us out here like this, it must be something important, right?"
"Quite." Nodding his head, Shinichi glanced up back in the direction of the stairwell, heaving a slight sigh. Kaito's gaze was still drifting off towards one direction, and he had a hunch the one known as the Magician in the Moonlight had a better idea than he did of exactly where Paikaru was listening in on them from.
"Perhaps it would be for the best to start out simply by showing you the reason why I need the two of you to swear to absolute secrecy. That means telling no one what you see or hear inside of this room today." Shinichi advised them, first turning his gaze towards Sera. "Sera, that includes your brothers- both of them, but especially your eldest. And Kaito," he said, turning his gaze towards him. "That means not a word of this to your personal accomplice."
"Jii-chan's off enjoying retirement anyways." Kaito told him, with a simple shrug. "More importantly, Shinichi, are you going to tell us who exactly is eavesdropping on us? That's one hell of an intense gaze they've got."
"I was just about to do that." Shinichi told him simply, turning his gaze back up towards the stairwell. "You heard that right?" He called out, raising his voice slightly. "You can come out, they're friends. Here to help."
"You don't need to coax me out like some kind of stray dog, Kudo-san." As his voice entered the room long before the person speaking joined it, Shinichi couldn't help but notice that once again, he'd switched back to standard Japanese- but his voice alone was enough to light a spark within Sera. Kaito noticed this, a slight frown on his lips- he'd never had the occasion to cross paths with Heiji before, so it was no surprise he wouldn't recognize his voice.
Sera, however, knew. Even without his telltale Osakan accent, there was no mistaking his voice.
As Paikaru himself entered into the living room, his otherwise casual posture not giving any obvious indications towards the fact that he had fully raised his guard, he cast an assessing glance towards the two newcomers. Rubbing the back of his neck as he studied them, he let a slight sigh escape from his lips, before tucking his hands inside of his pockets, tilting his head slightly to the side as he focused his gaze back on Shinichi.
"Well? Are you going to introduce them to me?"
"Heiji... kun?" Sera blinked, slowly rising to her feet, as if she couldn't believe her eyes. Without a doubt, the young man in front of them was none other than Hattori Heiji- someone who was supposed to be dead. The two of them had only a few chances to meet before his untimely death, but the female detective had grown rather fond of him in his own right- and news of his passing had shocked her greatly.
It had sent home a clear message about just how dangerous the business they had been involved in back then was. It was never something she, nor any of them, had missed from the beginning, but hearing that one of their own had lost their lives in pursuit of the Black Organization had deeply cemented the message within her.
"You're Heiji-kun, aren't you?" Sera asked, taking a step forward. Watching as a look of no recognition passed through his eyes, she turned towards Shinichi, her brows furrowing. "I thought he was dead, Shinichi."
"So did I." Shinichi told her frankly, heaving a sigh. Nobody gathered in the room missed the hint of guilt that passed through his eyes. "Until Hakuba here contacted me yesterday evening, informing me otherwise. He's been alive and well all this time, as it turns out. He just doesn't remember being Hattori Heiji."
"Then who does he remember being?" It was Kaito who asked the question. He'd never once fully pulled his eyes away from Paikaru, a somewhat intense expression on his face, as if he could pick up something from him that the others couldn't. He knew from his lines of work when someone had a trick up their sleeve- but what this person had up their sleeve was no mere magic trick, but rather, something rather deadly. He couldn't help but wonder if Shinichi had noticed it or not- and decided that he must have known, but for whatever reason, was overlooking it.
"The answer to that is why I brought you both here in the first place." Shinichi said, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sera gradually sat back down. Scooting over on the couch a little, he patted the spot next to him, motioning with his head that Paikaru should take a seat. When the assassin declined, instead remaining rooted where he was, his guard still fully raised, Shinichi only heave a slight sigh.
Well, this was about what he expected to happen.
"He's right. Some introductions are in order." Hakuba was the one who spoke up, briefly glancing up towards the assassin. He hadn't failed to pick up on the fact that he'd apparently managed to locate one of his guns, which was currently hidden on his person. He could only guess what other dangerous things that Paikaru had on him at the moment. Still, he didn't seem inclined to use them- given his personality, they were probably just a precaution. He'd trust Shinichi's judgement here and let it go.
"Over here to my right is Kuroba Kaito. He was a classmate of mine back in high school, and is well on his way to becoming a famous magician. He's quite skilled in slight of hand and the art of disguise. His father was the one who instructed Vermouth in the latter." Hakuba informed him, deciding not to mention the fact that he was also the infamous Kaito Kid.
"Ah, that old lady." Paikaru noted, casting a glance over towards the thief- not missing the slight way that Shinichi snorted into his hand at Vermouth being so callously called an 'old lady'. "I've heard of her, though I've never met her. That old man Gin is pretty furious with her. Was always calling her a traitor."
"I'd imagine." Hakuba's tone was rather dry, as he turned over towards Sera. "This young lady on my left is Sera Masumi. Her older brother works with the FBI, and she's a splendid private detective in her own right. Her older brother once briefly infiltrated the Black Organization, in fact. She used to know you somewhat in the past, but I gather you've already realized this for yourself."
"I guessed that much, yeah." Paikaru observed, his gaze flickering over towards her. "Sorry to say, but I don't remember you at all, Sera-san."
"I've managed to gather that much for myself as well." Sera said, her expression tight. She hadn't missed the overly familiar way in which he'd referred to the one known as Gin- and that alone told her what Shinichi hadn't told them yet. "Are you are a traitor as well, Heiji-kun?"
"I guess I am." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders, letting her draw from that what conclusions she would. "And frankly, I would appreciate it if you didn't call me by that name. Like Kudo-san over there has said, I don't have memories of that name. Just calling me by my codename is fine."
"I see." Heaving a slight sigh, Sera turned her attention towards Shinichi. "I'm beginning to understand why you had us all vow ourselves to secrecy, Shinichi. It's true that if Shuu-nii found about this, there would probably be trouble, as much as he owes you."
"I'm glad that you understand." Shinichi told her, giving her something of a strained smile. "You both have probably heard that Hakuba here has spent months tracking a Black Organization assassin by the codename of Paikaru. On the off chance that the two of you haven't figured it out already, Paikaru and Hattori are one and the same."
"Pleased to meet you the two of you." Paikaru said simply, finally removing his hands from his pockets, folding them in front of his chest, her guard relaxing slightly, though still not enough so that he slipped back into his native accent. "Like Kudo-san said, I'm a member of that Organization, but well," a hint of a smile crossed his face, as a slight laugh escaped from his lips. "It's more like I was tricked into becoming a member. Like he said as well, I don't remember anything prior to five years ago, so let's get that out of the way right away."
"Well, even if I was tricked into joining that Organization in the first place, the fact remains that I am one of them." With a simple shrug of his shoulders, he glanced between the two newcomers, silently gauging their reactions. "Make of that what you will, I guess. Whatever the case is, I'm interested in leaving them now, so I approached Kudo-san here in regards to that. Well," he snorted a little again, shaking his head. "I admit, I was pretty surprised by what he ended up telling me. Who would have ever thought that someone like me could have ever been something like a detective? Hilarious, right?"
There was a thick tension in the air, so heavy that it was almost palpable. It was Kaito who broke it in the end, deciding that he'd had enough of it. Perhaps it was because he was the only one of them who had never known the western high school detective in the past, but he didn't seem to be sharing any of the same sentiments as the other three- all he saw in front of him was a member of the Black Organization that was willing to sell his fellow members out- and he didn't doubt that he was telling the truth about that, at the very least. The fact that Shinichi had decided to trust him was more than enough for him, considering that the detective had gone out of his way to help him with his own shady Organization.
"Well, like Hakuba over there said earlier, I'm Kuroba Kaito." Rising to his feet, he approached the assassin, something which took him slightly by surprise. Offering him his hand with an easy grin on his face, he effortlessly slid his poker face into place. "Unlike the three of them, I never had a chance to meet Hattori-kun in the past, so I suppose this really is our first time meeting. It's nice to meet you, Paikaru!"
"Ah." Blinking slightly, glancing down at his hand with a look of brief confusion, Paikaru slowly reached out to take it, giving it a quick shake. "It's nice ta meet ya as well, Kuroba-han."
"Osaka-ben, huh?" Kaito observed, his grin only growing as Paikaru seemed to realize with a start that he'd briefly fallen back into it, all but snatching his hands away from the man. "There's no reason to hide it, Paikaru. If you're more comfortable speaking that way, none of us here would have a problem with it."
Narrowing his eyes slightly, uncertain of what to make of the young man that stood before him, Paikaru could feel his guard instinctively raise back up. This one wasn't like the other three- he wasn't a detective, that much he could tell. But as for what he was, he honestly wasn't quite sure- but it was enough for him to be wary.
"The two of you might as well sit down. We have a lot of things to discuss." Shinichi noted, glancing between them. There was something vaguely interesting about watching the interaction between the phantom thief and the assassin, both of them criminals in their own right- although the scale of their crimes couldn't be more different. "We've got two days at the very least to prepare for Merlot and Gin's arrival, and we had better use every second that we've got. The Organization might not have the reach it had before, but that doesn't make it any less dangerous."
"Of course, Shinichi!" Kaito said, his tone light as he turned on his heel, returning to his seat.
Paikaru watched Kaito warily for a moment longer, before he finally took the seat that had been offered to him before, folding his arms in front of his chest and placing his feet up on the coffee table, not even attempting to mask his intense expression now, casting it back and forth between Sera and Kaito. Briefly, those gathered thought that even they could almost catch a hint of the aura that Ai claimed lingered around members of the Organization.
"They're coming here? Gin and Merlot?" Sera asked, tearing her eyes away from the dark skinned young man. It felt more as if she was dealing with some strange doppelganger rather than the real Hattori Heiji, and she could only imagine how Shinichi was holding up in this situation- better than she would have expected him to, judging from the look on his face, his relaxed posture a stark contrast to the far more tense assassin sitting next to him.
"Yeah." Nodding his head, Shinichi's eyes narrowed. "There's no mistake. Merlot will definitely come, at the very least. Gin's still somewhat up in the air at the moment, but I've got a feeling that he'll show up before long as well. If he realizes Merlot is searching for Paikaru, then there's no way he wouldn't come to Tokyo himself." Sparing a glance towards the Black Organization member in question, Shinichi gave him a slight frown. "Do you think Gin is aware of who you were?"
"It sure would explain a lot." Paikaru noted, giving it a moment of thought. "Especially during the first year that I was brought there, he wouldn't stop asking me about someone named Sherry." He didn't fail to notice the way Shinichi's eyes narrowed further at the mention of that name, but didn't remark upon it. "He always seemed to have doubts about me at first, which I guess makes perfect sense knowing what I do now. Eventually they seemed to pass, I guess once he realized I wasn't going to suddenly regain my memories."
He'd made a slight omission there- it had actually been right after he'd completely his first mission. But he felt it best not to mention that.
"After that he became real invested in me in a real creepy way." Paikaru noted, a slight frown gracing his features as he recalled this. "He was always pretty interested in how my skills were developing. Well, now that I think about it knowing what I know now, he might have one day wanted to send me to kill you, Kudo-san."
"That definitely sounds like something he would do." Shinichi noted, a grim expression on his face, unable to help but dwell on how that scenario would have turned out. How would he have reacted if the person sent by the Black Organization to kill him had turned out to be none other than an ally he'd once trusted with his life? In a few years time, it was very possible that Paikaru might have developed into someone who could very much pull that off with very little remorse- it was a good thing that they had caught him when they did.
Still, it should have happened much, much earlier.
He couldn't help but wonder how the Heiji of his memories would deal with the knowledge that he'd become a murderer. Even if his memories did return to him one day, it wasn't as if that fact would disappear.
"So we've got Gin and Merlot then, huh?" Kaito asked, letting out a low whistle. "The new head of the Organization and it's finest assassin. You sure don't like making these things easy, Shinichi. Are you sure this Merlot's going to come looking for him though?"
"Of course she will." Paikaru grumbled, a look of clear irritation spreading across his face. "I'm her favorite."
Briefly, those gathered couldn't help but wonder what kind of weight those words carried behind them. They brought with them a trace of the white hot anger that had once burned inside of Heiji, a brief spark within the otherwise cold anger that lingered within Paikaru- an anger that never really seemed fully doused.
"The target of Paikaru's mission here this time was Takagi Miwako." Shinichi informed them. "It wasn't a job that came through the Organization itself, but rather an outside request. Of course, she's still alive. The main problem will begin when Merlot realizes this, and realizes that it must mean that something has gone wrong. Without a doubt, she'll arrive to look into the matter, and without a doubt, she'll remember that I live in this city, and will swiftly begin looking into me."
"So?" Sera asked, a hint of a grin dancing on her face, as she cast her eyes over towards Shinichi. "If you called the three of us here, I'm assuming you have some kind of plan, Shinichi. Let's hear it."
"Don't ya have school tomorrow, little Neechan?"
Not glancing up from the novel that he had engrossed himself in, Paikaru merely turned a page, not needing to look up to sense that someone else had entered his room. Judging from the sound of their footsteps, the only person they could have belonged to was the middle school student known as Haibara Ai, the strangely intelligent girl who had been in charge of giving him a full medical exam earlier in the day.
"I noticed a light was still on." Ai said, her eyes narrowing. She lingered in the doorway, the intense black aura that crept around Paikaru more than enough to prevent her from taking a step forward. "And I thought that might mean you would still be awake, Paikaru."
"I see." Paikaru said simply, briefly sparing her a glance this time. She did well to mask it, but he could still pick out the trace of apprehension, a hint of fear in her expression. Closing the novel and setting it aside, he carefully rose to his feet, tucking his hands in his pockets as he gave her his full attention, sensing that there was something that she wanted to say. "Why don't ya come in, Haibara-han?"
"I'd rather not." Ai said simply, schooling her voice into a cold, indifferent tone.
"Suit yerself." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders.
The discussion earlier had run long into the night, well after the trains stopped running. Not wanting to put the three he had called here out, Shinichi had invited them to spend the night- there was no shortage of space in his house. Paikaru got the distinct feeling that the real reason behind it was that he simply wasn't ready to be left alone with him just yet- just as he had suspected, in spite of his words earlier, in spite of his relaxed, easy attitude towards him, there was still some suspicion left that lingered within the detective.
Well, it wasn't like he could blame him.
This girl, on the other hand, didn't even attempt to mask her suspicion. And that, among other things, were what caught his attention.
"Do you truly intend to leave the Organization behind you?" Ai asked finally, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You accepted the truth Kudo-kun told you rather easily."
"Because it is the truth." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Somethin' which I'm grateful ta finally know." Casting her a slight smile, one of those placid, business-like ones, he took a step forward, watching as Ai tensed, warily gauging his every action. "It almost like ya sense somethin' from me, Haibara-han. Am I really that scary?"
"Members of the Organization give off a certain aura." Ai said after a moment, keeping her tone as neutral as possible. "Yours is rather intense."
"Well, I am an assassin." He said lightly, letting out a small laugh. "That really comes as no surprise. But what I'm curious about, little Neechan," he began, switching again to the casual nickname that was strangely familiar on his lips, "...is you. I thought it was strange that Kudo-han was bringin' a middle school student of all people into this, but ya've got some kind of connection ta all of this, don't ya? A deep one. Rather, I think you an' me aren't really all that different."
"The one that old man's been lookin' fer all this time- she's you, right? Yer Sherry." Paikaru asked, a slightly satisfied smirk appearing on his face as that got the slightest hint of a reaction from the young girl. "Well, don't worry yer pretty little head about it, Haibara-han. Ya asked earlier if my intentions of leaving the Organization were genuine. Of course they are."
"I see you really haven't lost Hattori-kun's deductive skills." Ai noted simply, letting out a breath that she had been holding. "Nobody told him anything either, but he figured it out all on his own. I don't think he ever mentioned to Kudo-kun that he knew who I was, though."
"Well, we are the same person, technically speakin'." Paikaru gave another shrug of his shoulders. "Even if I don't remember anythin' about him at all. So?" Tilting his head to the side, he cast a curious look towards her. "I don't think askin' me about this sort of thing was the only reason ya came over here in the middle of the night, when everyone else was already asleep. What is it that ya really want ta ask me?"
There was a moment of silence, before Ai broke it, heaving a slight sigh. "It's not that I wanted to ask you anything. I only wanted to apologize."
That took the amnesiac assassin by surprise, a look of confusion crossing his face. "Apologize? Fer what? I don't think ya've done anythin' wrong, little Neechan. Rather, I am grateful to ya, ya know. Ya don't know how long I spent tryin' to get that restraint off of my wrist myself."
"I'm not quite apologizing to you." Ai said sharply, gathering up her courage, she locked eyes with him. "The one I want to apologize to is Hattori-kun."
"Ah." Paikaru said simply, rubbing the back of his neck. "Unfortunately, he's not quite here right now. But maybe I can take a message fer him."
"I suppose that will have to do." Her tone somewhat softening as she allowed her expression to finally show some form of emotion, vivid regret blooming in her eyes. "In a sense, it's my fault that you came into existence in the first place, Paikaru, so I suppose it has something to do with you as well. You're right, though. The two of us really aren't that different. I used to be a member of that Organization as well. And I betrayed it as well."
"Oh?" Paikaru asked, quirking a brow. "Yer pretty young, all things considered."
"I suppose you wouldn't remember the reason why." There was a hint of laughter that managed to work it's way past her lips. "Nor am I inclined to tell you myself. But suffice to say, that it was essentially because of me that Kudo-kun got himself involved with the Organization in the first place. And it was because of him that Hattori-kun ended up involved. So I really must apologize to him- or what remains of him, I suppose."
"Ya don't have ta apologize fer somethin' like that." Paikaru said after a moment, finally averting his gaze from her. Honestly, he didn't quite know what to make of her words. He was dealing with all sorts of difficult people lately, and it was making him realize that he was extremely lacking in experience when it came to normal social situations.
If there was one thing that had become crystal clear to him, it was that although he might have once existed within the same world as these people, he no longer lived in it with them. He had become part of a different world- had become a different person from the one that existed within their memories, and frankly, he wasn't certain if he could go back- if there really was anything of Hattori Heiji to return to them.
"I am what I am. There's no changin' that now. There's only one person ta blame fer my existence, an' that's Merlot. Ya got nothin' ta do with it." Paikaru finished, turning back to look at her. "'Sides, as long as I'm alive, I might one day remember who it is that I'm supposed ta be."
"And if you don't?" Ai asked finally, her expression once more drawing tight. "What then? Can you pick up the life that Hattori-kun left behind him? Will you try to become someone that you're not?"
That was the question, wasn't it?
"I can try." Paikaru said simply. "Who knows? Maybe I'd eventually get used ta it. I'm just a fragment of him ta begin with, so maybe over time, I'd forget myself and be able to become Hattori Heiji once again, memories or no memories. The real question would be that if those he left behind would even want me in the first place."
"They would." Ai said after a moment, unable to find any real basis for the gut feeling that rose up inside of her. "I think they would."
"Really?" Paikaru frowned, honestly sounding more than a little doubtful. "Well, ya'd probably know better than me. I've never met them, after all."
"Were you able to talk with him?"
Ai didn't start at the sound of Shinichi's voice, having long since suspected that he was still awake. Heaving a slight sigh, she came to join him in the kitchen, where he slid her a cup of coffee. Taking it gratefully, knowing that it was unlikely she was going to get any sleep tonight, Ai sat down next to him, casting a look in his direction. "I did."
"That's good." Shinichi said, taking a sip of his own coffee. "The two of you should probably try and get along. You're the only one of us who knows what it's like to be trapped in that Organization."
"I suppose that's true." Ai observed, taking a sip of her coffee, letting out a long breath. Paikaru had been right- in that regard, the two of them were very alike. It shouldn't have been that way, though. "I imagine I'll eventually get used to him. Perhaps his aura will wane over time."
"Is it really that bad?" Shinichi asked, a brief frown appearing on his face. He couldn't sense what Ai did, after all. He might have been fighting the Organization for the past five years, but the girl sitting next to him knew it in a way that he never would. She had lived inside of it after all, and even though there were no shackles that bound her, no chains that kept her in place, she was trapped there, unable to move.
What became her avenue of escape was originally intended to be an agent of her death.
"It's quite... intense." She spoke with a great deal of consideration, carefully setting down her coffee cup. "I can't imagine it will ever disappear."
Burying himself within his cup of coffee, taking a long draught of it to cover up what otherwise would be a deep silence, Shinichi closed his eyes. As much as he tried to put a good face on, the fact remained that he was still reeling from the revelations the past two days had brought him, leaving him unable to sleep.
There was no small deal of relief and happiness that his best friend was in fact alive- that he hadn't died a lonely, horrible death in the ocean, his body eternally lost to the waves. That Shinichi didn't have to bear the guilt of letting his most trusted ally die, powerless to stop it, the hands he had back then too small to keep hold of him, his arms too weak to prevent him from slipping away. That he would no longer have to look at the somber faces of his parents and think that their son's blood was on his hands, that this was his fault, all his fault.
But there was still guilt that remained.
He had searched through just about every hospital in Japan, but he still hadn't found a trace of Heiji. He should have dug deeper, he should have started to looking into underground clinics and underground doctors, exploiting every resource that he had in his pursuit of him, to catch a trace of him. If he'd done that, maybe he could have rescued him from his fate long before he was ever forced to take his first life, an act which could no longer be taken back by anyone. There weren't enough pretty words in the world to deny the truth, to change the facts.
There was too much blood on those hands now. That much had become crystal clear to Shinichi today. It was in the way that he had cooly observed the dismembered corpse that afternoon, casting not the gaze of a detective over it, but a killer assessing a fellow killer's work- and of all things, becoming disappointed with it. Something fundamental to him had been changed, it's direction shifted, and frankly, he had no idea if regaining his memories would turn it back, returning him to the hotblooded detective that he once was.
Either way, Heiji would probably suffer. There was no way he wouldn't.
And yet, at the same time- Shinichi felt that there was hope. Not just for the return of his memories, but for something of a redemption for the shell that was left behind. No, calling Paikaru a shell was somewhat rude, Shinichi thought- he'd very much developed his own personality- he wasn't just an empty husk, a hollow puppet carrying orders. It was that very personality that gave Shinichi hope in the first place- to bring out the good things that remained in him, to gradually expose him to the life of a normal person, and see what would result from that.
Perhaps he couldn't turn Paikaru into Hattori Heiji, but at the very least, he could make him a proper human.
"Do you distrust him?" Shinichi asked finally, gaze falling on the small girl by his side. He knew full well that she was a year older than him, however her appearance might indicate otherwise. He always understood Ai's reasons for not taking the antidote in the end. There had been nothing for her to go back to.
It took her a moment to answer, but she finally managed to, having to dwell over her words. "I wouldn't go that far." Ai said simply, shaking her head. "I am still somewhat wary of him, but I suppose you were no different when it came to me, all those years ago."
"I can't deny that." Shinichi admitted, giving her a small smile. "I think he's doing his best, in his own way. I can't even find it in me to resent him, as much as I feel I should, in some way." He confessed, scratching his head. "I wish he wouldn't look at me that way when I try to use his real name, though. I don't like having to call Hattori by one of their codenames."
"It's the only name he's known for five years." Ai observed, picking up her coffee cup, lingering over it somewhat. "Didn't it take you quite some time to get used to being called Conan? Give him time."
"I know that." Shinichi said simply, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Given that the alternative to all of this was Hattori outright betraying all of us, I guess memory loss isn't bad."
Finally taking a sip of her coffee, Ai cast an assessing gaze over towards the detective by her side. "Do you intend to contact his parents? His mother has been waiting for him to come home all this time. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to learn that she was right all this time."
"I don't know. Not until everything with the Organization is finished for good." Shinichi said, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't know what I'd tell them though. His mother... she might accept it, but I don't know about his father. I don't want to destroy what relationship they might be able to build again together by telling them their son is Black Org."
"Tell them he's lost his memory." Ai said simply, shrugging her shoulders. "And let Paikaru figure out on his own what he wants to do. He's lucky to have parents to go back to."
"I suppose that's true." Shinichi noted, leaning back in his chair. "It's all gotten so much more complicated somehow, Haibara. I remember dealing with the Organization being easier in the past."
"You weren't trying to hide a wanted supposedly dead amnesiac assassin in your house the last time." Ai noted. "Just a supposedly dead FBI agent."
"Talk about your turnarounds." Shinichi snorted, shaking his head. "In the end, I suppose there's nothing we can do but take this chance. I promise you, Haibara, I won't let Gin slip away this time. Once he's in jail for good, you can finally live as openly as you want. Take up the Professor's offer of formal adoption, maybe."
"I suppose that I could." Ai said, a note of tenderness slipping into her voice. He'd proposed it to her four years ago- his desire to make her an official member of his family, via adoption. There would have to be some fudging of paperwork, but it was more than possible. Still, she'd turned him down, too worried that sharing his last name might allow those still searching for Sherry to quickly link her to him. "It might be nice. Even if I will be turning twenty-three soon."
"How time flies." Shinichi noted, biting back a million other quips that he knew would earn him a swift quick to the shins. "We've all grown up before I was even aware of it. Well," he paused, glancing over at Ai, giving her a cheeky grin. "...except for you."
That did earn him a kick to the shins- but it had totally been worth it.
On some level, Paikaru was perfectly aware that this was only a dream.
After all, there was no other explanation for him being here.
He wasn't real, Paikaru thought as he stared at him, not needing to see his features to know that he wore his own face, just five years younger. A figment of his imagination dreamed up by his subconscious, a way of dealing with the things he'd learned today. The clothes that he wore had been pulled straight from one of the photographs that he had seen today, right down to the baseball cap with a logo on it that tugged at some small fragment of memory, to no avail, one which obscured his face from view. There were no Lichtenberg scars that traced up his left arm, crackling outwards like bolts of lightning, only one, single scar on his left hand that Paikaru had no memory of how he'd gotten in the first place.
He was the high school detective of the west, Kudo Shinichi's rival, best friend, and trusted ally. He was the person he used to be, that he could no longer remember. The person that he couldn't help but be strangely jealous of as he looked through the photo album, wondering how it was that he managed to smile like that, wondering how it was that he drew so many people towards him. A child who was probably the pride and joy of parents that he could no longer remember, a detective who was determined to never let a culprit get away on his watch- someone with a normal life, a normal family, and a real name.
Hattori Heiji.
"I finally manage to fall asleep, and this is the sort of dream that I end up seeing." Paikaru observed, heaving a long sigh. "Well, that figures."
"Yer the one that's dreamin' me up in the first place, so don't complain, idiot."
"Oh, it speaks. And is self aware." Paikaru noted, a curious look crossing his face. It was his own voice, only five years younger. "I feel like I should be worried about this development."
"Would ya rather I just wordlessly stare at ya until ya wake up?" The detective asked, folding his arms in front of his chest. "That can be arranged. I'm a fragment of yer subconscious, after all."
"No, I'd rather not deal with that." The assassin said quickly, holding up a hand. "I get enough condemnation for just existing from Hakuba-san while I'm awake as it is, I think he's doing just fine making up for the both of you."
"That guy never liked me ta begin with, an' now that ya've gone an' got blood all over our hands, he likes us even less." The detective observed, glancing pointedly at Paikaru's hands.
Glancing down at them, he noted that they were indeed stained with blood, a vivid red against the black clothes that he wore. "A nice visual touch." The assassin noted simply, before tucking them away in his pockets, turning to look back towards the detective. "In the end, you're only parroting information that I've already learned."
"It can't be helped. It's not like I remember anythin' either." The detective merely shrugged. "I'm here because ya expect me ta be here. Because god knows we've got issues ta work through."
"Many." The assassin nodded in agreement, unable to find an argument against that. "Do you hate me, Hattori?"
"At the moment, I really despise ya, Paikaru." Came the easy reply, and he could feel but not see the detective's eyes narrowing underneath his cap. "How could I not? Ya became the very thing that I was helpin' Kudo fight against, an' ya somehow managed ta make it worse. How did I end up bein' a murderer? What a huge failure. I'm amazed Kudo even wants anythin' ta do with us."
"You have a pretty cheeky way of talking to your elders, but frankly, I can't really say that I don't agree with you." The assassin merely shrugged his shoulders. "But at the very least, I'll fulfill my promise to him. It would be a weight off my shoulders if the Organization were gone. I could leave my life freely. Or your life, I suppose, depending on how things go."
"Ya don't have any right to." The detective's voice was cutting, a glower cast towards him from underneath the shade of his baseball cap. "Ya haven't earned the right ta so much as use my name, Paikaru."
"For a figment of my imagination, you're pretty disagreeable, aren't you?"
"That's because ya hate yerself in the first place, idiot. Don't blame me fer yer own feelings."
"You've certainly got a point." The assassin admitted, putting a hand to his chin. "Well, I am pretty horrible, so it's to be expected."
Well, even so, he couldn't help but want to try and live up to Shinichi's expectations of him- even if he thought such a thing were impossible. Maybe if his memories came back, but as he was now... there was no way.
If they didn't, perhaps the best thing he could do for everyone who had known him was to simply disappear back into the ether. Leaving them with their memories untainted would probably be the kindest thing he could do.