Act XI: Bayonetta Gives Presents
Bayonetta was in her apartment alone. She was looking through Luka's stuff.
"Wait, are these photos of me? Oh, Luka, you're so naughty. I bet you don't like the idea that you lost those."
After sorting out things from his bags, she started looking for other things he left.
Luka's things were scattered all through the apartment so it took Bayonetta quite a long time to gather them all. After looking through all the stuff the witch realised most of it was useless to her.
"Hmm, I have an idea. Instead of throwing all these things away I'll gift them to my friends. They'll be happy to have this stuff." She thought.
First of all she visited Enzo, who was lying in bed in the hospital.
"Damn you, Bayonetta. My fucking car is trashed again. This time I can't ever repair it, it's cheaper to buy a new one! What a joke, should have fled right when Rodin mentioned your name."
"Oh, don't worry so much about it, there are plenty more important things to care about."
"Yeah, like the fact that you almost killed me! I don't even wanna speak to you, Bayonetta. I'm tired of your shit. Every time you're around, some shit happens. Be it your friends from Paradiso appearing or some clouds appearing out of nowhere, I don't fucking care anymore. I'm not even comfortable when you're around, you got that?!"
"Are you sure, my dear? Cause I've got a special gift just for you. You know, I thought you've had enough problems with that car, so.."
"YOU GOT ME A NEW CAR!?"
"You got the words right outta my.."
"You're not joking, right?"
"It's right there." Bayonetta pointed to Luka's car standing in the hospital parking lot.
"Oh shit, it's the model that I've always wanted! Forget about all this shit I've told you!"
"Don't worry, it's understood. Enjoy your new car!" Bayonetta threw Enzo the keys and walked away.
"Shit, Bayonetta, you're welcome anytime, fuggetaboutit!?"
Then Bayonetta visited someone who helped her find the money for the BMW.
"What? Who's there?" Vladimir shouted as he heard the knock on the door.
"It's Bayonetta."
"Hey, hold on, I'm speedrunning right now. I'll open the door as soon as I get to that cutscene..."
"Hey, Vladimir! The door is not even locked!" Bayonetta said as she entered the apartment.
"Wait, what do you mean..."
"Oh dear my, what are we playing? I though you only ran the first game."
"Ahhh. You know, since you beat the world record by twenty minutes no one is running the first game anymore."
"What a pity. Hey, can you hand over the controller?"
"What? No way, I can't have you destroy all the fun for the second time!"
Bayonetta forced the controller out of Vladimir's hands and started playing the game.
"Bayonetta! I've been blamed for ruining all the fun after your first appearance! I don't wanna go through that again!"
"Calm down, the fun hasn't even stared yet! Now I advise you to get back on the couch and check the insides of the bag I brought."
Vladimir got back on the couch and opened the bag.
"Now I don't usually give autographs but I figured this one is an exception." Bayonetta explained.
In the bag was Luka's gaming laptop, signed by Bayonetta herself.
"Holy shit. You mean you're gifting this?!"
"Yep."
Vladimir was shocked.
"Oh my god. Bayonetta, I fucking love you!"
"I know, I know." Bayonetta said, laughing. "Now don't overreact again, I need your help with this skip."
Then Bayonetta went to see Ryosuke.
"Hello, Ryosuke. You know, since Luka is now officially gone forever I though I'd give you his camera so you can film the races."
"Oh my god, Bayonetta, thanks!"
"Yeah, there's also a helicopter standing outside, the one I arrived in. It's yours."
"Are yous serious?! I'll be able to film from above! Bayonetta, I adore you! You're my fucking goddess!" He was jumping in happiness.
"Please don't lose your mind in advance, Ryosuke. I have one more thing."
"What? What thing?" He screamed in excitement.
"This hook." She gave him Luka's hook.
"Huh? What I'll need it for?" Ryosuke said with confusion.
"I don't know. Luka used it for all kinds of stuff and I mean that. Actually, he used it on me recently."
"What?"
"Oh well, forget it. Okay, I'm gonna go home now"
"See you soon, thank you for the gifts!" Ryosuke said.
"Wait, what? Used it on her?" He though after Bayonetta left his apartment.
Meanwhile, Keisuke and Jeanne were driving back to the witches' apartment. Jeanne was tired so she fell asleep on the way.
"Wait, did she just fall asleep in a car?"
Keisuke's telephone rang.
"Brother, Bayonetta is making dreams come true today! She just gifted me a camera and a helicopter half an hour ago. Oh my god, I have always wanted to film the races and analyze them. Shit, I almost pissed myself when I realized what was happening."
"You say Bayonetta is making dreams come true today?"
"Yes!"
"Hold on, I have to meet her." Keisuke said and hung up.
Jeanne was still sleeping in the car, while Keisuke went to meet Bayonetta. He knocked on the door and the witch opened.
"Bayonetta, I've heard you're making dreams come true today!?"
"Please don't tell me you're going to beg for something. The presents are over, end of the line."
"No, Bayonetta, I really need your help.
You see, I like Jeanne so, so much. Please don't judge me. I feel like she is my only one."
"You're getting yourself into some serious shit right here, Keisuke. Trust me, she's not your only one."
"Anyway, she told me Umbra Witches don't have human partners."
"Well, I don't know. It happens from time to time."
"What?"
"Not with Jeanne, though. She told you you had to be a Lumen Sage, right?"
"Well, not directly."
Bayonetta started laughing. "Oh my, she always says that."
"What do you mean?"
"Ah, nothing. So you want to become a Lumen Sage?"
"Yes. I would do anything for Jeanne!"
"Ok, I'll help you, but just for fun. I want to see her reaction."