Act XV: Witch Dorifto

Bayonetta knocked on Ryosuke's door.

"You can come in. Are you done with the time travel shit? Hey, I have spoken to local racing teams and we have come to a conclusion that the ULRT must use regular cars

in order for the race to be fair." Ryosuke explained.

Jeanne entered the room through a time portal and fell on the couch.

"So that means no magic is allowed?" Bayonetta asked.

"Nope."

"You mean none at all? I mean, we can still use the Wicked Weaves and similar shit without a magic-infused car."

"Yeah, we have a technique called Witch Dorifto!" Jeanne added.

"Well, they did not mention it, so maybe Wicked Weaves are okay. Anyway, the fact remains that you need a new car."

Jeanne got up from the couch. "That is easy to solve! Cereza, off the the car shop you go!"

She caught Bayonetta off guard and used a Wicked Weave to send her flying away through the window.

"Sorry, Ryosuke, I gotta help her. Time to have some fun!" The witch said as she drove her motorbike out of the window.

Bayonetta crashed through the roof and landed straight in the driver seat of a cabriolet Bentley. All the car shop employees stared at her in confusion. The alarm went off.

"Fuck, Jeanne, couldn't you have at least asked?"

Bayonetta used her middle finger to start the car and started drifting all around the shop to try and kill all the witnesses. Jeanne appeared through the main entrance.

"Cereza, here I come!" The witch jumped off her bike and landed on top of the passanger seat, leaving the motorcycle to crash into the shop manager. She took out her guitar and started doing a cover of *Night of Fire*. After several more sick drifts that sent people all over the place Bayonetta finally drove out of the shop.

A professional gamer that was known by his nickname "Juice228" was sitting in his house playing Stellaris. He hated when people interrupted him from playing the game because deep within his head he had a plan to take over planet Earth and start his own galactic empire. Some fangirls approached his house. Their names were Anna, Polina and Camilla.

"Demed, come out, why do you ignore us?" Anna shouted. "We know you're just butthurt, that's why you won't go out with us anymore."

Juice228 peeked from the window. "Who the fuck are you? I haven't expected any of you! Idite nakhui!"

He had a long history with these girls. A month ago they started stalking his ass. They were neighbours, so there was no escape from them. At first he though nothing of them and went out with them but he stopped soon after as it seemed they had no respect for him and their characters included everything Demed did not like in girls and people in general. After he stopped going out with them, they started coming up to his house every other night and waking everybody up by... wait for it... BANGING THEIR HEADS ON HIS METAL FENCE.

Demid went back to playing Stellaris. The girls decided they'll execute their ultimate ability once again. This time they even brought a metronome to synchronize their banging and hopefully take down the fence. The loud sound woke everyone in the house.

"Fuck! I hope someone drives over these bitches, I'm tired of their shit!" Demed screamed.

Suddenly, a car appeared in the driveway. It was the witches' Bentley. Jeanne was standing on the passanger seat and playing Death Metal. At first she though that there was a drummer nearby that synced up perfectly with her tempo of 160 BPM, but then she saw the trouble that lied up ahead.

"Fuck, Cereza, there's people ahead!" Jeanne screamed.

"Shit, can't dodge them!" Bayonetta shouted. Bayonetta thought she might as well put on a show if it's impossible to avoid the accident so she stepped back on the gas.

The collision sent Polina and Camilla flying to a whole other country, while Anna was used as a ramp. The car flew and landed on the roof of Demed's house and then used the roof as another ramp to instantly fly up Akina. Anna was so scared she ran away and decided she'll never come near Juice228's house again. Thankfully, no one got seriously injured.

"I don't care what that was but it saved me from these three putas. I'm in debt." Demed concluded.

The Bentley landed on Akina. A motorcycle appeared in the rear view mirror.

"Follow that witch, Carl." The man on the motorcycle screamed as he started shooting his SMG.

The Bentley wasn't infused with magic so it could easily be damaged. Bayonetta stepped on the gas.

"Cereza, won't you slow down? It's hard to keep balance!"

"Jeanne, he'll shoot the gas tank and we're fucked!"

A bullet hit the trunk of the car and it opened. Out of the trunk fell a body of a man. "Gaben, Gaben, Gaben!" The man started to repeat.

"Fuck, can't dodge him!" Carl screamed as he hit Gaben.

Carl and Big Smoke flew off the motorcycle. CJ flew down the mountain and got wasted, while Big Smoke was more lucky. He landed in the passanger seat of the Bentley, pushing Jeanne aside.

He started beating Bayonetta. "Big Smoke, witch, remember that name."

Bayonetta lost control over the vehicle and they drove off the mountain. She though this was going to be the end. The car was flying over the city and it was clear that both witches and Big Smoke will die upon impact.

"Cereza, I got this!" Jeanne screamed as she noticed a skate park. She was able to regain balance and stand in the middle of Bayonetta and Big Smoke.

The car landed on a skate ramp and Jeanne started doing insane stunts. Tony Hawk would have been impressed by this shit. Big Smoke was sent out of the car in the first jump. He flew over several districts and ended up landing in a KFC restaurant. It took him several seconds to realize what has happened and where he was.

"May I take you order, sir?"

"Hmm. I'll have two number nines, a number nine large..."

Meanwhile, Jeanne was able to beat the level and she decided it was time to finally park their new car. She used the skate ramp and the witches landed in Ryosuke's garage.

"The car is ready. Holy shit, that was a wild drive!" Bayonetta said, getting out of the car.

"So we're ready to discuss our plan to dominate Gumma?" Ryosuke asked.