For those of you who skipped the last chapter, here is something to read. :)

Alistair watched as his wife took down yet another practice dummy with a well placed sweep of her longsword. Cringing slightly, his concern for her mental state only grew when he found her destroying yet another defenseless sack that week. As he sighed he felt someone move to stand beside him and glanced over to see Cailan looking out at Kora as well.

"She'll put Denerim in the poor house with all the dummies she destroys," he mumbled, his face serious in stark contrast to the comment. Alistair shook his head, the knot in his gut tightening.

"It's been two months since Varena… left us," Alistair responded, "but her distance and anger only seem to grow with each passing day." Seeing Kora was approaching yet another dummy he turned to face his brother, his expression giving in to his anguish.

"I can't reach her. No matter what I say or do every time I try to talk to her about it she withdraws. Maker forbid I bring it up at night, she'll leave our room to sleep in one of the guest rooms. I can't get through to her and it is driving me mad! I feel like I've not only lost my daughter, but my wife as well!" Fists clenched, Alistair ground his teeth and growled deep in his throat, a tear falling from his eye. "I'm losing my patience with this. She's not the only one in mourning but she doesn't seem to care." Cailan put a hand on his shoulder, his worry deepening.

"You know that's not true, brother. Do you want me to try talking to her?" he asked, "Maybe someone more distant from the situation can get her to open up." Cailan looked over to Kora, still bashing away at her latest victim, and rethought his offer. "Or better yet, let's tie her up, then I'll talk to her. Maybe a gag?" Alistair huffed.

"I don't think they make rope strong enough," he mumbled.

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Kora was focused, dodging imaginary sweeps and stabbing back, slashing and shield bashing, trying desperately to dispel the rage that had laid claim to her gut. As she carved off the arm of her opponent she followed up with another shield bash and felt, as well as heard, a crunch in her left shoulder as it connected not with the stuffed innards of a dummy but the iron pole it was secured to.

"Fuck!" she hissed as her shield dropped to the ground, her arm hanging uselessly at her side. She dropped her sword and grabbed the limb with her right arm to keep it from swinging as the white-hot pain seared down into her fingers and up her neck. "Wynne!"

Wynne had learned quickly to be close at hand when Kora was in the yard. She had no respect for her own body and its limitations. Wynne knew why, understood perfectly, but it didn't make seeing it happen time and time again, nor mending her recurring patient, any easier. She approached and laid a glowing hand on her left shoulder.

"You did a number on it this time," she said, pushing the magic through to be sure she got to everything. "No more practice for today, I'm afraid." Kora sighed.

"Fine," she said, her voice hollow as she nodded to the armorer and made her way over to her husband and brother in law. "Good afternoon Your Majesty." Her eyes barely able to focus on his face, she swayed a bit from the exhaustion she didn't know or care that she was feeling. Cailan reached out to steady her but Alistair shook his head quickly so he held back.

Cailan could barely contain his shock; her voice was so empty of emotion and her apparent disregard for her own personal health was frighteningly obvious. She had lost a substantial amount of weight and the detachment she was exhibiting both in her voice and her body language was disheartening. Shaking his head, he quickly recovered and smiled.

"I've come by to see you," he said, keeping his tone light and motioning for her to lead. "If you have the time may I invite myself to tea with you? It's been ages since we've had alone time although I understand why Alistair loves to monopolize you." He gave his younger brother a wink and looked back at Kora who let out a small relenting sigh.

"Of course, follow me," she said as she made her way into the estate and to her study. Cailan and Alistair exchanged concerned glances before Cailan moved to follow.

When they entered her office Kora waved toward a set of chairs by the window overlooking the garden. Cailan sat and watched as she removed her chest plate and gloves, tossing them on the floor by the door, then motioning to May. The elf nodded and slipped away as Kora crossed the room, sitting delicately in the chair next to Cailan and clasping her hands in her lap.

They looked at each other for a few moments, Cailan searching for any trace of emotion he could find on Kora's face. Normally she would have winked at him or smirked, breaking the tension that was building between them then started up a conversation about his lack of a wife or her want for nieces and nephews. Instead her stare was blank, completely void of all emotion except the hint of sorrow hiding behind her now pale-blue eyes. His heart began to ache, seeing his best friend, his sister in all but blood sitting across from him but never feeling more alone. Reaching out and taking her hand, he sighed deeply.

"Love, where have you gone?" Cailan whispered, tears stinging his eyes. He saw a flash of something cross her face but the stoic mask came right back.

"I am right here, Cailan."

"Kora," Cailan choked out, taking her other hand and pulling them both to his lips as a tear slid down his cheek. "Kora, please come back. Your family needs you." He leaned forward, his face inches from hers. "I need you." He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead, his lips lingering as they always did. He looked back into her eyes. "Please."

The walls she had so carefully built around her heart began to crumble as she felt herself fall into Cailan's deep blue eyes. Everything that she had tried so desperately to keep out was slowly seeping in and threatening to overflow, to drown her in her own despair. A sob escaped her throat as she fought to maintain control, failing miserably. She shook her head, unable to speak as she tried to yank her hands away from him.

"No Kora," Cailan whispered as he tightened his grip, "come back to me. I'll not give up on you." He pulled her closer, resting his forehead on hers. "I love you too much to let you go, so tell me you love me, tell me you hate me, tell me to fuck off I don't care!" He was growling, his frustration bubbling over. "But you will show me that you are alive in there."

Her shoulders trembled as the tears started to fall. Cailan let it go on for a few minutes, wiping her cheeks with his thumbs as he cradled her face in his hands. Suddenly she began to shake and a desperate wail escaped her lips. He instantly picked her up and cradled her in his lap, holding her tightly to his chest as she sobbed uncontrollably into his neck.

All of her pain, all of her anger and all of her guilt flooded into her heart and soul. Suddenly the thoughts she had been keeping at bay began running endlessly through her head. She did it, she killed her little girl, it had to be her. Something she did, something she said. Was the Maker so angered by her continued existence that he deemed it necessary to take it out on something as pure as an unborn child? She would gladly have traded places with Varena given the chance, just another sign of the Maker's cruelty. She shook her head.

"He took my baby," she sobbed, uncertain if the voice she was hearing was her own, "he took her and left me here to rot. That is my punishment." Cailan's heart fell to his feet as he placed his hand over her head.

"You do not deserve punishment, of that much I am certain," he whispered, trying desperately to keep her within reach. He pulled his head back slightly to look down at her tear streaked face, his hair and hers intermingled across her cheek. A small smile crept across his lips when he ran a finger along her jaw and she looked up at him. "Hello love." Kora blinked away her tears and wiped their hair from her face.

"Hello," she whispered back, smiling slightly as he nudged her nose with his. "I don't deserve you." Cailan huffed.

"That, we both agree on, Your Grace," he said as he sat her upright on his leg. She looked around the room, as if seeing it for the first time, and took a cleansing breath.

"I don't deserve my husband either," she said as she looked toward the door, a rock forming in her stomach.

Kora thought back to those moments when Alistair would reach out to her only to be dismissed or left alone entirely, not pulled closer and loved like she should have, as if he were the source of her pain. She just kept pushing it away, pushing him away until he finally stopped trying and left her to her own demons. She couldn't blame him. She was dead inside, how could he possibly be expected to chip away at a shell that regenerated every time it came into contact with reality? Beside the fact that she made it crystal clear she wanted nothing to do with facing the truth. She sniffed and gave her face a good scrub with her hands before sitting up.

"I have to find Alistair," she said as she stood, running her fingers through her hair. Cailan stood and took her back into the safety of his arms. She sighed as she relished the contact, knowing his embrace meant everything would be alright no matter what may come her way. She rested her cheek on his chest and he planted another kiss on her forehead.

"Be gentle with him," he said and released her. She gave him a grateful smile before she rushed out of the study. Cailan sighed. "Maker, please watch over her and protect her." He ran his fingers through his hair as he stared at the doorway Kora had just exited through.

"She's been through enough."

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Kora started with the training yard. No one she spoke to had seen Alistair since she and Cailan had left so she was stuck with searching the entire estate. She started with the kitchens and worked her way through the barracks and the main hall. Corner after corner, room after room, she peeked in then, when she didn't see him, moved on to the next. As she approached the private wing she became nervous. What if he left? What if he was fed up with her and he packed a bag, set off for the Vigil? She clenched and unclenched her fists, hoping against hope she was wrong.

As she came upon the door to the nursery she hesitated, all the pain and despair creeping back up into her throat. She realized she hadn't been in there since it was finished, would she be able to handle it? Would she crack again, retreating back into her shell until everyone she loved gave up and left? No, she thought, I will not give in again. I need my husband and he needs me. She squared her shoulders, took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

The smell of Andraste's Grace filled her nose as she stepped quietly into the room. Her eyes skirted over the light pinks and purples of the décor, feeling a stab of pain in her heart that made it difficult to breathe. Fresh tears streamed down while she looked everything over, her eyes suddenly drawn to the fireplace.

Alistair stood with his back to her, unsure of what to expect. He wanted to rush over to her, embrace her, bury his face in her hair and get lost in its fragrance. Instead he stared at the flames licking the logs he had just placed. He swallowed, his heart creeping up into his throat as he waited, wondering what she would do or say next and not trusting his mouth to voice the words that would keep her in his proximity. He always said the wrong thing, he thought, why would he ever expect that to change?

Kora bit her lip and crossed the room, embracing Alistair from behind. Wrapping her arms around his waist she squeezed, pushing her cheek into his back. She felt his chest rumble as he broke her embrace and faced her. For a moment she thought he was angry, that he was done being pushed away and it was too late for her to make amends. That moment ended just as quickly as it started.

He grabbed her head with one hand, fingers combing into her hair, and her waist with the other, pulling her into his arms to cover her mouth with his. His kiss was hungry, tongue searching as she opened up and let him in, let him devour her and awaken her from deep within her soul. Kora felt every inch of her body slowly respond as if she were in a fog that was being burned away by the heat of the sun. The intensity of Alistair's kiss, his hands on her body, his want that he hoped she would not deny flooded from him into her.

Alistair relished the feel of her lips on his, her hands on his arms as she pulled him in, her response to his need urging him on. Pulling her head closer he delved deeper, taking everything she was willing to give and letting it stoke the fire he had been holding back for months. His desire unleashed, he lifted her into his arms and carried her straight to their rooms, unwilling to give the moment an opportunity to end, and lay her on their bed. His eyes were dark with want while hers were alight with the fiery passion that he recognized from the woman he married.

Letting that heat take her over she made a vow, both to herself and to her husband that she would never in her life break.

She would never deny him again.