(updated 04-23-2021)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
I understand
"Today, no ships venture to the Kepler-22 system. The extensive network of beacons ensures to warn ships of the dangers that still exist in this system. The official line is the warnings are for the distortions in space along with the debris and fallout from the Neutron-S missiles used against the planet. Though not officially acknowledged, there are rumors the Alliance regularly dispatches a ship to scan the system, and the planet remains. Even though the planet is a charred, radioactive husk of its former self, there are rumors and stories circulating that there is life on the planet. The Alliance will neither confirm nor deny any of these stories. An interesting side note to all this is that the Alliance Navy maintains a stockpile of the few remaining Neutron-S missiles close to the system for quick deployment…"
— Excerpt from "Light vs. Darkness: War in the Shadows"
oOoOo
Faith squeezed Alex's hand as the shuttle touched down. A smile came to her face, feeling the reassuring squeeze back from him. She caught part of a conversation as the shuttle made its taxi approach to the terminal.
"So, when am I going to become an Aunt? I'm not getting any younger."
"When you and James finally set a date and get married!"
Faith shook her head slowly, catching the verbal back and forth between Buffy and Dawn. The two sisters were still engaging in what seemed like a non-stop conversation since take off.
Seems like old times…
They had gotten a break with James arranging a shuttle flight for her, Alex, Rachel, and Giles to get them to New York. It was even more of a surprise when she found out the shuttle was from the Arcadia, and Dawn and Aaron along with Buffy and James were on the flight.
Dawn and Aaron explained it was only by chance the Arcadia was in system. Aaron and Dawn were transferring to the SDF-4, with Aaron taking command of the ship, and the Arcadia being "mothballed"—put into storage with the Reserve Fleet. They were here dropping off crew and equipment before the old ship made her last voyage to Tirol.
Faith appreciated everyone's support, especially with the extra attention Buffy and Dawn were giving Alex. She'd talked to Buffy before takeoff, bringing her up to speed on what was happening. Buffy had done her best to reassure Faith they would figure out what was happening.
Alex tugged on her arm to get her attention, "Mommy?"
Faith struggled to force a smile while she looked at the latest pictures he'd drawn.
They were of an alien landscape… One was of a distance range of mountains and the other was of a wide trail or road that branched into two different directions. In all the pictures, rows of strange looking flowers dotted the landscape. The quality and detail he'd put into the drawings amazed her at the same time as they alarmed her.
"They're beautiful," Faith said, forcing another smile to hide her worry.
"I like this one the best," Alex trumpeted, showing her another drawing.
Faith sucked in her breath, struggling to keep the smile on her face.
The drawing was of a planet from space. This wasn't unusual. What caused her alarmed was the giant bird, rising from the planet's surface. It was a majestic-looking bird. Alex had colored it a bright green color. Combined with the detail, it made the bird appear as if it was glowing or on fire as it rose from the planet, heading into space.
Faith's mind raced as she nervously studied the drawing, "W-What is that supposed to be?"
A sudden sadness clouded Alex's face, "T-That's the lady and everyone else… T-They're leaving," he mumbled.
Faith suddenly sensed time was of the essence and they were running out of it, "D-Do you know when the lady is leaving?"
Alex shrugged, "Soon."
oOoOo
James had already made arrangements, using his rank and influence, for vehicles with drivers to be waiting for them when they arrived. Their small convoy made a quick departure from the airport, heading for the Invid embassy in Manhattan.
Alex was riding with "Auntie Buffy" and "Auntie Dawn" in one of the other vehicles. It was Buffy's idea to give Faith a break after seeing how upset she was after viewing Alex's drawings.
Faith tried to keep her nervousness and impatience in check as they made the drive to the embassy.
"You, okay?" Rachel said, seeing Faith's worried face.
Faith exhaled a deep sigh, "I-I don't know. I want to scream or hit something."
Rachel flashed a small smirk, "I understand."
There was a long pause before Faith spoke again, "I'm still pissed at you. Your theory about the Reg— I mean Paul… You knew back when you and Giles came to the house in Texas?"
Rachel sighed, "Yeah… Like I said, I suspected, but there was no proof. I had hoped that putting the two of you together would cause something… get a reaction."
Faith smirked, rolling her eyes, "Well, it sure as hell caused something! He's that six-year-old bouncing hurricane of energy in the other car!"
Rachel smirked, "You know what I mean… not that Alex isn't a good outcome."
Faith flashed a smile and then turned to gaze out the passenger window. For a few moments, quietness filled the vehicle. She finally broke the silence, "I-I don't know if I can stand to lose him again…"
"Paul…?"
Faith nodded, "We've gone through so much. I-I just don't…" her voice fading. The memories of all the joy and pain she'd shared with Paul came rushing back.
Rachel took Faith's hand in hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "I don't know what will happen or how it will turn out. What I can tell you is to never count out Paul Coleiro until it's over!"
oOoOo
An Invid wearing long robes greeted the group and escorted them into the embassy. Faith struggled to keep her nervousness under wraps as the Invid signaled them to wait in the embassy's open foyer.
"If you will wait here, I will inform the Ambassador you are here," the Invid said, using flawless English.
James responded, "Please thank the Ambassador for taking the time to see us on this urgent matter."
"Ambassador Tashe remembers your service and friendship during the war. That is why she is taking this meeting," the Invid said, turning and exiting through a set of doors into another room.
It seemed like an eternity while the group nervously milled around the foyer. Faith's nerves made her want to pace, but Alex kept her busy, trying to keep him in check. The young boy was excited to see the aliens and determined to explore the building rather than stand around with a bunch of grownups.
The Invid finally returned, "Ambassador Tashe, will see you now."
James stepped forward. The Invid held up his hand and pointed at Faith "No… not you. The Ambassador will see her."
Faith gaped at the Invid, "M-Me?" she stammered.
The Invid nodded, "Yes… you are the one asking to visit Optera? You are the one who wants to see the Regent?"
Faith stared at the Invid, glancing at the others for help. She'd been hoping for James to do all the talking, using use his pull and diplomatic skills to get them permission to go to Optera. Now, she found herself thrown into the deep end, having to act as negotiator and diplomat. She nodded nervously and then followed the Invid.
The Invid led her down a long corridor and opened the door to a room, "Please wait here. Ambassador Tashe will be with you shortly," the Invid said, giving a slight bow before closing the door behind Faith.
The dimly lit room caused Faith's senses to kick in, taking in the surroundings. There wasn't much in the way of decor or the room's layout. Along the walls, vines snaked from large planters to the ceiling. Large pink-and-white flowers, clustered in groups of threes, covered the vines.
Even though there was no breeze, Faith swore the vines and flowers were swaying as if there was a light breeze. The swaying plants and lighting gave the room a more alien appearance.
She studied the gently swaying plants. The more she watched them, the more at ease she became. It was a strange sensation, but she swore the plants were talking… calling to her.
A voice from behind startled her, "The Flower of Life is calling to you," Tashe said, entering the room.
Faith spun nervously to face the Invid, "T-The plants are talking to me?"
The Invid's smile caught Faith by surprise, "They're not talking like we would talk. The flower senses your presence. It knows who you are."
Confusion gripped Faith as she stared at Tashe, "I-It knows me?" she stammered, trying to understand what was going on.
Tashe nodded, "Yes, as do I… as all Invid do."
Shock now replaced confusion, "Okay… Whoa! Hold on for a minute here! Let's back this bus up! How do you know me?" Faith breathed, trying to get a grasp on how events were taking a weird turn.
Tashe smiled again, "He shared his thoughts and feelings for you with the hive."
Faith hesitated, staring at Tashe, trying to process what she was hearing, "Y-You're talking about the Regent, aren't you?"
"Yes, him… and Admiral Coleiro."
Faith's heart was pounding. The only sounds she heard were the swaying plants.
"I-Is Paul still alive?" she whispered.
"What do you think? What does your heart say?"
Faith exploded, her growing frustration bursting through, "Dammit! Can we stop with all the metaphysical mumbo-jumbo and can I get a straight answer!"
Tashe didn't bat an eye, "The universe is a vast and complex organism and yet you want a simple answer?"
Faith wanted to scream, "Dammit, yes! I want a simple answer!"
"But, what is the question you want to ask?"
Faith gritted her teeth, "I already asked my question! Is Paul still alive?"
Tashe studied Faith carefully, "Are you absolutely sure that is the question you want to ask?"
Faith was about to use some choice colorful words to vent her frustrations, but she held back. For a moment she considered the question. Her thoughts finally coalesced, crystalizing into a moment of self-realization that she was being given a rare opportunity.
Doubts and hesitation still gripped her as her voice faltered, "Why? Why did he do it?"
Tashe smiled in response to Faith's choice of question, "You want to know why he chose this path?"
The barriers holding back years of pain and anger crumbled as she realized this was the question that she wanted answered, "Yes… He could have come home! For five years, I waited and prayed for him to come home, and each day a piece of me died, not knowing what had happened to him! Then… then to find out…"
Tashe held out her hand, catching Faith by surprise. Her confusion and bewilderment obvious as she stared at what looked like dried up leaves in Tashe's hand.
Tashe's voice took on a gentle, calming tone, "These leaves are from the Flower of Life. They will allow you to find the answers you seek. I must warn you that eating the leaves does not come without risk. It is your choice…"
Faith stared at the leaves. A small voice inside her screamed warnings for her to turn around, grab Alex and leave.
I wish it was that easy… How could I face myself… face Alex if I turn and runaway now? What about Alex?
Faith hesitantly reached for the leaves in the Invid's outstretched hand, "So… are these like magic mushrooms? Can I could get poisoned or something like that?"
Tashe didn't hesitate with her reply, "Yes, the flower can poison you, then there are the hallucinogen effects and possible insanity."
Faith paused, staring at the leaf up against her lips, "I-Insanity? You said I could go insane?"
Tashe nodded. Faith shook her head, mumbling, "Great… Insanity… Just great."
Faith sighed, deciding. She took a tentative bite of the dried leaf. It crumbled in her mouth. When nothing immediately happened to her, she ate the rest of the leaf, following it by eating a second leaf.
A dry bitter taste filled her mouth while she stood there staring at the Invid, waiting for something to happen.
"Well, that wasn't too bad. Could have used something to chase it down and get rid of the taste. So, when does—"
Faith didn't finish her sentence. An intense pain exploded in her head, sending her staggering. It took an act of extreme willpower to keep from throwing up..
She fell to floor in front of the Invid, thrashing about, holding her head as the pain increased exponentially.
"GOD! MAKE IT STOP!" she screamed.
Her vision began fading to black, inciting more panic as she felt herself losing control of her mind and body.
"P-P-Please m-make it stop!" Faith begged.
A faint, faraway voice suddenly drew her attention, "Can you hear me? Focus on my voice."
It took an extreme effort by Faith to push through the pain and focus on the voice. But as the voice became clearer, her pain subsided, and she regained control.
"I will be your focus… your guide on your journey," the voice said.
"T-Tashe? H-How?" Faith muttered hoarsely.
"Yes… The flower joins us all. We… the Invid are telepathic. The Flower of Life can give one the ability to see the future… the past through The Shapings."
Faith wanted to ask what these 'Shapings' were, but suddenly she understood… like the answer was in front of her all this time. Still, there was only the darkness.
"Where am I?"
"At the beginning… You need to focus on your question."
Faith snorted, "Is this where I click my heels three times and say, 'There's no place like home'?"
Tashe's voice chuckled, surprising her, "Not quite like that…"
"Okay, here goes nothing," Faith muttered.
"I want to know why? Why did Paul do all this?" she announced to the darkness surrounding her.
At first, nothing changed, which only increased her frustration and despair. Then the darkness lifted, like a curtain being drawn back.
Faith stood in the middle of a deserted city. It looked strange, yet was familiar. Alarms filled the air all around her. A small voice in her head kept trying to rationalize what she was experiencing, tell her it wasn't real, but everything appeared and sounded real.
She caught sight of what looked like a huge observation window off in the distance. The realization finally came that she was inside a giant spaceship. Words echoed in her thoughts as she moved towards the observation window.
SDF-1… Macross… I'm aboard the SDF-1…
Then she saw him…
The boy's resemblance was so similar he could have passed as Alex's older brother. He was staring out the observation window at the planet. Faith sucked in her breath at the unending swarm of ships surrounding the planet. Memories bubbled to the surface, recalling the video footage and how Paul had talked about the day the Zentraedi attacked Earth.
It's the 'Rain of Death'… Why am I here?
A moment of confusion gripped Faith while struggling with whether she should approach the younger Paul. Before she could decide, the observation window lit up from the Zentraedi warships firing on the planet. Like the younger Paul, Faith stood transfixed, watching the planet die.
"That can't be all of it?" she whispered to herself.
The scene flashed, and Faith suddenly found herself in a different city. Explosions and alarms thundered as craft roared across the sky. She made out the sky through the billowing smoke and realized she was somewhere different.
Again confusion and frustration gripped her as she tried to make sense of why she was here and the purpose behind all this.
"Hurry up, Paul!"
The woman's shouts caught Faith's attention. She spun around, catching sight of a woman carrying a small girl in her arms. The woman was calling towards a boy.
Faith's eyes burned with tears and her heart pounded, watching the woman shouting at Paul to catch up. The urge to scream a warning to Paul's mom and sister gripped her, but she could only watch helplessly as history played itself out.
Darkness again returned as the explosion and fire enveloped Paul's mother and sister.
"Why?" Faith said to the ever present darkness surrounding her.
Tashe's voice replied from the darkness, "Why, indeed…"
Again the darkness lifted, and Faith found herself in a strange, alien-looking chamber. The entire room reminded her of the inside of a brain… webs—pulsating with light—connected different parts of what looked like neural tissue throughout the chamber. Faith sensed she wasn't on Earth anymore.
"Optera…" Tashe said, answering her unsaid question.
Faith caught voices talking and turned towards them. She saw Paul—as she remembered him—with a pained, angry expression. He was talking to a strange-looking woman. Faith recognized the Regess from Alex's drawings.
"Is there no other way?" she heard Paul say to the Regess.
"The Shapings have brought you this far… You must now ingest the fruit from the Flower of Life if you want to see what will happen," the Regess replied.
Out of reflex, Faith leaped towards Paul, wanting to stop him before he took a bite of the strange-looking fruit the Regess was offering him. As Paul collapsed to the floor, she belatedly realized she was, again, only witnessing events already having taken place.
"You wanted to know what would happen if you return to Earth," the Regess said.
Faith suddenly got a weird vibe as the Regess looked directly at her and their eyes seemed to meet.
No way! There's no way she can see me!
"As The Shapings have shown you, if you return home to your world, the Haydonites will triumph here and destroy all that oppose them. They will then find your homeworld and destroy it along with your species," the Regess said, still looking at Faith.
"But, they still found Earth… They still attacked us!" Faith whispered, shaking her head in disbelief.
A vortex of images, thoughts, and emotions suddenly pulled her down. The vortex cleared, and she and Paul were together.
More confusion and doubts washed over her while she tried to understand what was happening. She had no memory of this ever happening.
The scene jumped again, and Paul and her were in another location that she didn't remember. It suddenly dawned on her she was witnessing events that would have happened if Paul had returned home.
This revelation shocked her as she took in the room and how it looked like they'd been having an intimate dinner for two. When Paul pulled out a small jewelery box to give to other Faith, her face mirrored her doppelganger's expression.
"I'm not going back… I'm staying here with you. This is where I belong," Paul said, responding to the other Faith asking him about the Arcadia and going back to fight the Haydonites.
Again the vortex sucked up Faith with more images flashing by. Her and Paul getting married… and her giving birth to Alex. Scenes of Alex growing up. Faith's jaw dropped when she watched herself give birth again… this time to a girl.
The whirlwind of images finally settled down, and Faith watched Paul and her hugging tightly. She got the sense that something bad was happening from the tension hanging over the couple.
The other Faith spoke, "How bad is it?"
Paul's face was grim, "It's bad. We've lost contact with the Arcadia, along with all our forces and allies in the Local Group. We sent a scout ship, but we've lost contact with them too."
"What'll happen to us?"
"The Haydonites haven't located Earth yet. We've stockpiled enough Protoculture to build up our defenses. It'll be okay, you and the kids will be safe."
Despite Paul's attempts at reassurance, Faith saw things were worse than he was letting on. She could tell by the other Faith's expression that she wasn't buying it either as she hugged her husband tightly.
The scene shifted again. Now, she was on a spaceship. Paul was talking to the other Faith over a video link.
Alarms, blaring throughout the ship, suddenly interrupted the intimate moment. Faith noted the fear on the other's face as the ship's PA system announced the Haydonite fleet's arrival.
She watched helplessly as her other self said, "I love you!" as Paul ended the call and rushed to the ship's hanger bay.
The scene zoomed out and Faith witnessed the space around Earth with Haydonite ships everywhere.
The size of the enemy fleet filled her with a sickening sense of despair, and the realization there wouldn't be a happy ending this time.
Paul's fighter squadron launched, joining up with the other squadrons. Earth had assembled an impressive number of fighters and warships, but they were still horribly outnumbered and outgunned by the attacking Haydonite fleet.
Faith bore witness to the furious space battle around Earth with her desperate defenders trying to blunt and throwback the enemy attack. But it wasn't to be.
Throughout the battle, Paul's fighter did its dance of death… destroying every enemy fighter he encountered. Yet all his desperate heroics were in vain. The seemingly unending waves of Haydonites ships annihilated his squadron, leaving him the lone survivor.
Faith gasped, watching the enemy sweep aside the human defenders. Huge dreadnoughts took position around the planet. A nightmarish deja vu gripped her, realizing that history was about to repeat itself.
Space lit up as the enemy ships fired on the planet. Countless lasers, disrupters, and other energy weapons unleashed their power on the planet's surface.
Faith swore she heard Paul scream in pain and anguish as the Haydonites bombarded the planet, laying waste to it.
Tears burned in her eyes while Paul's fighter—one of the last human defenders—attacked the enemy in a berserk rage. His fighter was in Battloid mode, spraying weapons fire into a swarm of enemy fighters, threatening to engulf him.
Faith wanted to scream in rage, watching Paul's fighter take multiple hits, losing power. Her tears ran freely, while Paul's Battloid—still firing his weapons at the enemy—plummeted backwards towards the now dead planet.
"No, No, No…" she muttered, rocking her head in disbelief and anguish as the heat from re-entry consumed the fighter in a fireball.
A scream of pain and anguish focused Faith's attention. She turned to find herself back on Optera with Paul and the Regess.
Paul was curled up in a fetal position on the floor. A deep soul aching pain filled Faith, watching his body shake with heaving sobs. She moved closer to him, kneeling beside him, wishing there was something she could do to take away the pain.
"I understand now," Faith whispered to Paul.
A sense of understanding of the choices that Paul had to face and the decisions he had to make rose inside of her. With this realization, the weight of the pain and anger she'd been carrying for so long faded.
Even though she realized it was a useless gesture, she reached out to touch Paul's back to console him.
She whispered as her hand touched his back, "I love you… I always have and I always will!"
A spark jumped between her hand and Paul's body, and she jerked back as if she'd touch a live wire. She shook off the effects only to see that Paul had stopped crying.
Love washed over Faith, watching Paul recover himself and stand to face the Regess. The determination and purpose that now filled his face filled her with a sense of awe. Everything went dark again.
A voice from the darkness spoke to her, "There is not much time."
It took Faith a moment to realize this wasn't Tashe speaking to her, "W-Who are you?" she croaked.
The vortex swept her up again. Faith struggled to keep at bay the growing tendrils of panic until everything settled down once again.
She was standing on a desolate landscape. The rusting hulks of huge spaceships, digging into the ground like spears, dotted the landscape.
Despite the apparent desolation, small clumps of greenery were pushing back, trying to reclaim the ground. In the distance was a small city, it looked like a mixture of modern and ruined buildings.
Her attention turned to a skinny, dirty-looking boy scrounging through the wreckage of a nearby ship. Heartbreak filled Faith, realizing she was witnessing a teenage Paul, struggling to survive among the wreckage and desolation.
Her eyes widened in amazement, recognizing the dried leaf Paul took from his waist pouch and hungrily swallowed.
"This is where his path began… This is where the flower chose him…"
"Chose him for what? Who are you?" Faith demanded while continuing to watch teenage Paul.
The scene shifted, causing Faith to jump. This time she was standing in front of woman she was now familiar with.
"I am the Invid… I am the soul and the spirit… the power and the light. I am the protector and guide for my people… their mother… I am the Regess!"
Faith was suddenly painfully self-conscious of her situation, "Uh… hi," she croaked.
The gentle smiled that filled the Regess's face caught her by surprise.
"You want to know why?"
"Um, yeah," Faith mumbled.
"You are still alive… Your child is alive… Is that not enough?"
Faith considered the question. As she thought about it, her frustration grew and finally exploded, directing it at the Regess, "You know what? No…! That's not enough! There has to be something more to all this? Everything we've had to go through and sacrificed! You're the one talking and singing to my son! Putting images in his head! As one mother to another mother, I think I have the right to know!"
As the words left her mouth, Faith realized she'd probably gone too far in venting her frustrations. The Regess's growing smile caught her by surprise.
"You are right."
Faith exhaled a quiet sigh of relief as the Regess continued.
"For eons, we have strived to evolve… Before his arrival in this universe, the Haydonites had us trapped and imprisoned. We could not fulfill our destiny."
Faith eyed the Regess hesitantly, "Which is?"
"The time of the Great Work is almost upon us… Soon we will shed our corporeal existence and ascend to a higher plane. We will transcend to a timeless dimension no longer bound by earthly constraints. We will be one with the realm of only pure thought and energy!"
A confused Faith was about to ask what the Regess was talking about when the surrounding scene shifted. She was looking at a planet from space. The planet and this view seemed familiar to her, but she couldn't place it.
The planet glowed in spots with a fiery green color. She watched in awe as an immense column of pure blinding energy erupted from the surface of the planet.
The energy column climbed higher and higher into space, transforming into an enormous bird… a phoenix of pure energy. Faith gasped as the bird extended its wings and soared further into space. All the while, she swore the bird was calling to her… pulling her.
"Paul…" she muttered, still processing what she'd witnessed.
"When it is time, we will transform… all Invid on the planet with the Protoculture we have stockpiled will join together in our journey. Only a few selected Invid… like Tashe and a few of the flowers will remain behind. Tashe will evolve into the new Regess. She will then begin her own journey and continue the Invid at this level of existence."
A wave of panic and despair gripped Faith, "Does he know about Alex?"
The Regess's smile faded, taking on a concerned expression, but didn't answer.
Her lack of response set off Faith. She stepped forward, not hiding her growing anger, "Does he know he has a son?" she demanded.
"No…" the Regess breathed.
Faith continued her venting, "Why the hell not? You're the one saying you're telepathic and moving to higher planes of existence! So, why aren't you beaming him messages telling him what the hell is happening!"
The Regess sighed, surprising Faith, "The Regent has isolated himself from the hive mind, retreating into seclusion after dealing with The First Evil and other demons of your world. Even though he has refused any contact with us. I sense he will join us when it is time because he sees nothing left for him here."
Frustration flared in Faith along with the urge to hit something, "Gawd dammit! I have to get to him! He has to know he has a son… that I still love him!"
Faith blinked in shock as the Regess faded away. The room and Tashe came back into focus.
Sweat ran down Faith's body and her muscles ached as if she'd been working out for hours. She shook off the effect of the leaves, becoming more aware of her surroundings. For a moment, she questioned if everything she'd seen and experienced had actually happened.
Faith's throat was as dry as a desert, cracking as she spoke, "T-Tashe…"
Tashe nodded, "You have found the answers you were seeking… The Invid give you and the others permission to visit Optera."
Faith barely trusted her voice, but she croaked out, "T-Thank y-you."
Tashe nodded, giving the human a sympathetic look, "You will need to hurry… The time is almost upon all of us."