Chapter 14 Darkest Hours

Felicity

A gun is in her hand. It's pointed at someone but she can't tell who it is. She feels this urge. The urge to kill. There are four people in front of her on their knees. No one says a word they all just stare straight ahead. The first shot goes off and the body falls.

Her first instinct is to stop but something is controlling her. She fires the next shot and her heart starts to race because she doesn't want to be doing this. She doesn't kill people she saves them but it is like someone has taken over. The gun has a mind of it's own.

The next person is Diggle and she fights and fights but the gun goes off again. When she sees the blood on his chest she feels a part of her break inside. But he is emotionless and doesn't say a word as he crumbles to the ground. Finally she sees whose next and her eyes immediately fill with tears. She tries and tries but she can't get the gun to point away from him. He is looking directly into her eyes and as her finger slowly pulls the trigger she hears him say, "please Felicity." Then the trigger goes off and he hits the ground as she screams out in agony.

Oliver

Having lived on Lian Yu he had had many awful nights but this one topped them all. The love of his life was in pain and there was nothing he could do except wait until she was ready. He felt useless. He knew what she was thinking because he had gone through similar experiences before and he wished he could tell her she was wrong. She wasn't a killer. But she had said she needed space and he was going to respect that no matter how much it hurt him to leave her like that. He would be right here when she was ready.

Surprisingly he felt tired and he felt himself drifting off when he heard a bone chilling scream come from Felicity's bedroom. Thinking Malcolm could be back he shot up immediately and sprinted towards the door. Once he threw it open he saw Felicity sitting up but there was no one else in the room. She was all sweaty and breathing heavy but she didn't even turn her head when he came into the room.

"Felicity are you ok?"

She stared straight ahead and said, "I killed them all."

He didn't know what she was talking about so he slowly moved closer to her. "Felicity you were just having a nightmare. I'm right here."

She turned and looked at him with tears streaming down her face. Between sobs she choked out, "I think I'm losing my mind." She hid her face in her hands and he moved quickly across the room and cradled her into his chest. He held her as the events of the day caught up to her and all of her emotions came spilling out. She wrapped her arms around him and clung to him for support. He could feel her tears soaking into his shirt but he didn't care. After some time had passed she stopped crying and laid her head against his chest trying to catch her breath. He just sat there giving her the time she needed while he gently stroked her back.

Felicity

His fingers running up and down her back centered her and helped her to control her breathing. Deep breath in as the fingers went up and deep breath out when they went down. She did this until her breathing normalized and she was able to speak. "I killed you. I know I didn't really kill you but in my dream I killed you. I've never had a dream feel so real and horrible at the same time. I felt helpless and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening."

"It could be a side effect of the drug. Making you remember what happened but also your subconscious showing you your fears. It's not real Felicity. You have to keep telling yourself that. It's going to be hard but you will get through this. You are stronger then you know."

What he said made sense but the truth was that she still killed someone. Most of the dream was her fears coming to life but part of it was based on what really happened. She had killed Slade and that was going to stay with her no matter what. Her mind was racing and she wanted to solve all this tonight but that was impossible. There was so much they still had to do and so much she still had to process. Her body was exhausted and so was her brain.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's ok I wasn't even asleep yet I was too worried about you."

That made her smile as she pulled herself closer to Oliver. He followed her lead and leaned back onto the bed pulling her on top of his chest. He pulled the covers over them and continued to rub his hand up and down her arm. She was so comfortable but she was afraid if she fell asleep again the nightmares would return. Knowing she had to try she slowly closed her eyes and reminded herself that Oliver was there with her and he wouldn't let anything happen to her. As she repeated this to herself she slowly but surely began to fall asleep and the last face she pictured was Malcolm Merlyn as she felt the darkness surround her.

Oliver

It took him a minute to realize that he had fallen asleep. He had waited for Felicity to fall asleep and then he must have dozed off. It had been a long day and he was exhausted but he was upset with himself because he wanted to watch over her to make sure she was sun streamed in the window and he could tell it was late morning. That's when he realized she wasn't in the bed. Panic rushed through him as he imagined her being taken again. He bounded out of bed and ran straight for the living room. Even before he got there his fear subsided because he could hear her typing away frantically on her computer.

He still came flying around the corner as Felicity turned quickly with a knife in her hand prepared for a fight. He put his hands up and said, "hey what's with the knife?"

She immediately put the knife down and turned back to her computer. While typing she said, "sorry you scared me I thought you were still sleeping. I grabbed the knife from the kitchen for protection. If you haven't noticed a lot of things have happened recently and I would feel little bit better if I could protect myself even just a little bit."

The tone of her voice made it sound like she was mad at him but he didn't want to presume anything so he walked closer and sat down next to her. "Felicity what are you doing? You should be resting?"

"We have work to do. We need to find Malcolm and end him once and for all." She did not even stop her work to look at him. It was like her eyes were glued to the screen and her foot would not stop tapping under the desk. He was starting to get worried, this wasn't like her.

"We can work on this later you need to rest and recover? And what do you mean by end him."

"Oliver I'm fine I need something to do or I'm going to go insane."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I mean we have to kill him."

At first he didn't think he had heard her right. Kill? Felicity had never flat out said to kill someone. She had always been the one to say that he had to find another way. Just like when they defeated Slade. There was something seriously wrong and he didn't know how to fix it. "Felicity we're not going to kill Malcolm. I agree he has to pay but he is still Thea's dad and I can't kill him."

She slammed her hands down on the keyboard and spun around to look Oliver right in the eye.

"Time and time again he has proven how evil he is and that he will not stop until he has killed you and everyone you love but you continue to protect him. Thea would be better off without him and you know it. The world would be better off. How many more chances is he going to get before he succeeds? He's never going to stop unless we stop him." He had never heard her talk like this and he was scared. Not for Malcolm but for her. He took her hands in his and got right in front of her.

"Felicity you're not acting like yourself you need some time away from the situation especially because of everything you went through. I know you're angry and hurt but this is not the way to do this. If you do this you will never escape it. It will haunt you and you might think that right now this is what you want but I know you. You are the most kind and compassionate person I have ever met. You found the good in me when I was lost. I'm not asking you to forgive or even try to find something good in Malcolm because he doesn't have anything good inside him and he doesn't deserve forgiveness. But what I am asking is just to think of what you are really saying and ask yourself is it worth ruining your life over. I love you and I know we can find another way."

She took her hands from his and stood up. "I'm sorry Oliver but there is no other way and if you're not going to help me I will do it myself. Someone has to stop him and if I have to be the one to do it then I accept that. He has made me kill and made me almost kill you. I can't forgive that and I won't forget it. I will never be able to undo killing someone and the thought of almost killing you will haunt me for the rest of my life. That is all on Malcolm."

Felicity turned to walk out and Oliver reflexively stood up and grabbed her hand. "Felicity don't do this."

"Forgive me." Before Oliver could say 'for what?' he felt a sharp electric jolt run through his body. All his muscles tightened up and he fell to the floor. Felicity knelt down on the floor as he felt himself losing consciousness. He felt her hand caress his cheek and he tried to grab her but his body would not move. She bent down and kissed his forehead and whispered, "I'm so sorry." He felt a tear fall onto his cheek as she got back up and saw another person come into view. He tried to see who it was but before he could his vision went dark and the last thing he saw was Felicity walking away.