Disclaimer: We do not own Dragon ball, Dragon ball z, Dragon ball GT (Never that was a disgrace- Holly hills), or Dragon ball super. We also do not own the song panda.
Chapter 6: Goku the SAVAGE, it's in his biology
It was a regular high school day, you know the black girls yelling too early in the morning, white boys having the same 'the vending machine won't except my 20 dollar bill' problem, and the Mexicans selling candy and drugs trying to not get caught so they can stay on the soccer team. Well that is for the other people but then there's Goku's gang
"Hey Bulma can I copy your U.S History homework, please?" Goku asked
"How stupid are you? The homework was to color the map of the 50 states and label them," Bulma said
"Goku, King Vegeta is like your dad they don't give out real work all they do is watch Empire or Keep Up with the Kardashians and give the students busy work," Chichi said
"Hey I'm not stupid," Was all Goku stated
"WERE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!" Chichi yelled
"What? Oh no sorry," Goku said
"Chichi you should know by now Goku doesn't pay attention to anything but whatever is on his phone, food, and fighting," 18 butted in
"Hmph," Vegeta said
"Is that all that's in your vocabulary?" 17 asked
"No! There's also shut the fuck up, no one likes you" Vegeta protested
"Hahaha!" Goku laughed
"What's so funny Kakarrot?" Vegeta asked curious what made Goku laugh all of the sudden
"What? You guys say something?" Goku asked
"PAY ATTENTION!" Chichi screamed
"What are you watching?" Piccolo asked "All I heard was 'does that make me gay or him?'"
They all stared at Goku
"What the hell are you watching Kakarrot?" Vegeta asked
"Wait how did Piccolo hear that?" Bulma asked
"I can hear half way across the world, like I can the two birds having sex right now in that tree" Piccolo said as he pointed to the tree
"Don't look 17!" Everyone except Goku yelled
"Perv!" Bulma exclaimed
"Someone call me?" A voice called
They turned around to be faced with the high school tennis coach
"Coach Blake?" Chichi asked
"Hey, girl whatcha doing, when you gonna join tennis we always need girls who have nice butts… I mean strong bodies on the team," He said, "And you blue haired girl and the lovely blonde also need to join,"
"Ah! HELL NO!" Bulma and 18 said
"Y'all need to do push-ups for cursing or maybe jumping jacks, yeah jumping jacks," He said as he stared at their boobs
"Get lost you stupid creep!" Vegeta yelled
"Yeah, my boyfriend will beat you up if you try to touch me," Bulma said
Vegeta just stared thinking sure what ever helps you sleep at night and no I want him to leave because he freaks me out
"Boys are unneeded," Coach Blake stated
"You're a boy," 18 said
"No I'm a man there's a difference," He protested, "Chichi you shouldn't hang around these people come on," he said as he grabbed her
"DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" Chichi screamed as she punched him in the gut and ran back to her friends
"Gosh I hate him," Chichi stated
"Yeah!" They all agreed
"Wait why didn't you guys help me," Chichi asked, "More importantly why didn't Goku help me?"
"Help with what?" Goku asked just taking out his ear buds unaware of what just happened
"Grrr," she growled
"Sorry guys ghetto Arthur is hilarious," Goku said, "So what happened?"
"Let me first start off with Piccolo that was disgusting about the birds, Goku you should have helped Chichi, what's ghetto Arthur? and we should get to class," 17 concluded
Everyone basically ignored 17 walked to their 1st period and watched ghetto Arthur on their phones. On his way to his second period Goku stopped by Chichi's locker to grab his usual snack she leaves for him. When he was putting his cookies in his backpack his camera for his YouTube account flew out landing in Chichi's locker without him noticing he went on the day.
RRRIINNNGG
As Chichi was going to her next class she grabbed her books from her locker and noticed a camera
"Cool," She said as she put the camera in her backpack and went to psychology. After class Chichi had an off period so she grabbed that camera a recorded a video.
"Better get to 3rd period then I'll watch the video I recorded," She said to herself
In Bardock's class
"Alright you know the drill shut your traps and grab a worksheet," Bardock stated
"I wander what today's assignment is?" Bulma asked sarcastically
"Shut up," Bardock called
"Kevin can you help me with the paper, I don't know what biological succession is?" The gang heard Krillin ask
"You don't need to know what biological succession is you just need to color the trees and bushes," Bulma said, "Gosh I'm tired of stupid people taking up my air,"
"I WASN'T ASKING YOU BULMA!" Krillin yelled
"Hey SHUT Y'ALL MOUTHS!" Bardock yelled, "Next person that talks is getting detention,"
"Banana, banana banana banana," Kevin Minion explained
"DETENTION KEVIN!" Bardock yelled
"Banana," He said
"UNNEEDED!" Bardock replied
"Continue Kevin its growing plants," Krillin continued to talk
"You to Krillin," Bardock said
"But I don't know what ecological succession is" Krillin said
"Sounds like a you problem," Bardock said
RRRIIINGG
As the class left for the next period as Chichi was packing up her things the camera fell out without her noticing. Krillin then noticed it and grabbed it
"Hey Chichi you… Whoa! This is a nice camera," Krillin said. He looked around and saw that Chichi already left.
"Hey Kevin," Krillin called,
"Banana," Kevin Minion responded
"Who?" Sydney Lou Who said
"Oh hey Sydney," Krillin said, "Wanna make a video with me and Kevin,"
"Who," Sydney replied
"Oh Chichi gave me this camera," Krillin lied
"Who," She said
Krillin, Kevin Minion, and Sydney Lou Who went to their usual hang out and recorded a video. Once they got done they went to next period which they all were: the librarian helpers
"Um Mrs. New librarian," Krillin said
"My name is Grandpa Gohan, I'm the new librarian," Grandpa Gohan said
"Oh hi you raised Goku didn't you?" Krillin asked
"Goku, do you know where he is?" Grandpa Gohan asked
"Umm, no," Krillin said
"Ok if you see him tell him to come see me," Gohan said
"Ok, but I'm not really his friend so…," Krillin muttered
Krillin and his gang went to the computers and edited their video, afterwards they left it to organize books. Then Bulma walked in
"Ugh I hate the school library," She said
"The computers are so old just let us do research on our phones," Bulma continued to talk to herself.
She than spotted a nice camera
"Oo, who left this nice camera video thing," Bulma said
Bulma then walked out with the camera and went on the day recording her video. During 7th period she bumped into Piccolo.
"Eww watch it Piccolo," Bulma said
"Whatever," Piccolo said
Bulma didn't realize that the camera she had fell onto the floor after her rude comment. Piccolo then saw the camera and grabbed it.
"Since you were so rude to me I ain't gonna give you this camera back," Piccolo thought as he picked up the camera and walked the opposite direction
Piccolo also made a video and went on the rest of the day and saw Vegeta after school.
"Hey Vegeta whatcha doing," Piccolo said
"I'm building a roaster around the whole city, Isabella wanna help," Vegeta replied sarcastically
"What? Oh I sounded like Isabell when I said whatcha doing so, you were being Phineas." Piccolo said
"Yeah, but to answer your question I'm about to go to Bulma's and use the gravity room to train," Vegeta said
"Oh I was gonna ask you if you wanted to get some burgers with me and 17," Piccolo explained
"No way burgers, nope beef goes right to the hips," Vegeta explained
"Okay, well see you later," Piccolo said but never noticed that the camera fell out of his backpack, luckily Vegeta caught the camera before it hit the concrete
"Hey Piccolo… and he's gone oh well," Vegeta said and took the camera with him, "I just give to him tomorrow,"
Vegeta surprisingly also made a video too after his training he went home.
"Hey mom," Vegeta greeted as he walked in
"Hey do these dishes-," She started to say
"-No I have homework, lots of it so make Tarble," Vegeta lied as he walked up to his room
"Fine, whatever," She said, "KV, COME DO THESE DAMN DISHES THEY STINK LIKE YOU!" She shouted.
Tarble then walked in
"Mom," He stated as he ran up and hugged her
"Hey Tarble where's your father?" She asked her favorite child
"I don't know but I'll go look for him," Tarble said
"Thank you hon," She replied
"Momma's boy," Vegeta said to himself hearing the conversation down stairs. Just then Goku arrived viva INSTANT TRANSMITION
"Yo! Best bud," Goku greeted
"AAAHHH! My Gosh, KAKARROT WHAT THE HELL?" Vegeta yelled
"Sorry but I lost my camera it looks like this," Goku said as he held up a picture of his camera
"Oh why didn't you just knock on the window or I don't know USE THE FRONT DOOR!" Vegeta raged
"Meh, your mom kinda scares me so- but anyways have you seen my camera yes or no?" Goku asked
"Actually yeah here I found it with Piccolo," Vegeta said handing him the camera
"Piccolo man I should have known the 'colored' guy stole from the white or whatever we are guy but I didn't want to jump into conclusions and blame him because he's you know," Goku said
"Get out of my house," Vegeta said
"Okay, well thanks," Goku said
Vegeta then realized that the camera was Goku's and he had recorded a video on it without deleting it before he gave it to him.
"Oh well I don't care," Vegeta thought
"VEGETA DINNER IS READY!" His mother called
"I'M COMING WAIT WHAT ARE WE HAVING?" Vegeta asked
"HAMBUGER HELPER!" she replied
"I DON'T WANT ANY!" Vegeta yelled, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY BEEF GOES RIGHT TO THE HIPS!"
"VEGETA COME AND EAT I'M NOT RAISING ANY VEGETERANS, WERE SAIYANS WE EAT MEAT!" King Vegeta called
"NO!" Vegeta said
"Fine let him starve," His mother said
At Goku's house
"Hey mom I found my camera," Goku said as he entered the house
"Good for you honey, dinner would be ready in 15 minutes," Gine said
"Cool," Goku said but then noticed his camera was on 1%
"What the hell," Goku cursed
"Hey watch that mouth Kakarrot," Gine said
"Sorry but Piccolo had my camera and he killed it's on 1%," Goku said
"Ok but you could have replaced he-double tooth pick with heck or 'shut the front door'
"-Or nani," Raditz said as he came into the kitchen
"Shut up Raditz," Goku said then went up to his room to charge the camera. Goku then saw that the camera was also running out of storage
"Geez Piccolo," Goku thought
He that watched all that was on the camera
Chichi's video:
Was very bad with poor audio: you couldn't hear her very well
"Welcome to episode 1 of Chichi's cooking tutorials today were gonna make brownies," She said, "First you-,"
BOOM! The camera fell over "Oops," she said, "Let me fix that." She then continued to say the steps but you couldn't hear her plus the camera was in a place where you couldn't see what she was doing.
In the end of the video Chichi carries the camera with her to find Goku. "Where is he?" She said. She then spotted 17 oh well "Hey 17 do want some brownies there freshly made by me," Chichi stated
"Sure they look great," 17 said then grabbed the batched and ate them
END
"What the fruit cake… wait my mom is not here WHAT THE FUCK?!" Goku screamed, "Chichi gave MY FOOD to 17,"
"Kakarrot stop cursing," Gine said, "Plus dinner is ready,"
"I'm coming," Goku replied
After dinner he went back to his room and watched more of the videos
Krillin's video:
The video started out with Krillin and Kevin minion standing with some cheap shades, arms crossed, and their backs together then music began to play the song Panda, with lyrics changed to Banana. Kevin Minion then began to sing:
'Banana, Banana, Banana, Banana, Banana, Banana, Banana'
Krillin lip sync and tried to dance key word 'tried' to dance to the lyrics
I got broads in Atlanta
Twistin' dope, lean, and the Fanta
Credit cards and the scammers
Hittin' off licks in the Bando
Goku stopped the video due the stupid song being so freaking annoying but before he heard Krillin saying "Man this video is gonna make millions and then Goku and the rest of his stupid gang would want to be my friend again and I gonna say NO! He's not even that strong,"
"Krillin, you can't talk about strength cause you just a bit over Yamcha you- wait I don't have to say it behind his back I'm not a coward I'll say it to his face," Goku said
Bulma's video:
"Welcome to Bulma's vlog, welcome to my daily school life where it's not always pretty, like me what am I saying I not pretty I'm Gorgeous!" Bulma yelled
The video was annoying due to Bulma's constant smacking her gum, and her heavy breathing, then she just gossip about people and judge them but then Goku saw that she said something about him.
It was in King Vegeta's class-
"Hey Bulma can I borrow a pen or pencil?" Goku asked
"Umm, no I don't have any," Bulma replied
"Hey no talking I'm really behind on Empire so SHUT UP!" KV yelled
Bulma then asked to go to the restroom and brought the camera to record herself
"Let me begin with I did have an extra pen but I don't like sharing and Goku is one of those kids that don't give you back the pen he borrowed and he chews on them like that's so disgusting have some class.
He stopped the video "That BITCH she had a pen and didn't share what about knowing each other since the womb as she says whatever I'll get her back," Goku stated
Piccolo's video
"Boi look I saw Krillin made a video and that was so lame so to help your eyes and ears ima show you a real lip sync music video," Piccolo said really loud in the camera
Piccolo ended up recording his own music video with the song Panda but it was just as good as Krillin's. Due to his long legs he and he didn't really know how to dance.
"Well now how was that good right, I know, I'm the best dancer well at least I'm better than a white person speaking of white looking people Goku and his stupid, dumbass self, got me in trouble asking me for a pencil King Vegeta gave me detention for talking like Da fuck," Piccolo rambled on, "Like Goku ain't even all that he just like to think just because he's the main character he's the leader of the squad and can boss the rest around and don't have to do work 'cause he can just copy someone, like how the hell did he pass kindergarten and he gonna blame he hit his head as a baby, sure but that just took the bad sayian out of him how bout you just listen and do your own work, you ain't the strongest so yeah I'll let him boss me around when he can beat Whis so yeah post up nigga," Piccolo laughed
END
"This boy, just you guys wait you just brought out the, the bad side of me," Goku said to himself
Vegeta's video
"You look at yourself your probably wearing dirty clothes because there the only clothes that you can fit into, your fat, but you don't have to be with my training you'll be able to as fit as me just look at me, I know what you're thinking I'm the sexiest thing you ever seen," Vegeta said
He then began to do exercises, " Instead of 100 push-ups, and squats, then run 1 kilometer every day and what not you do 1000 push-ups, and run like Forest Gump in x200 of earth's gravity,"
End
"Well okay Vegeta you are something but not sexy that's for sure but you're the only loyal hoe," Goku said, "The rest aren't wait till I see them no I just got the perfect idea," He thought
The next day at lunch
The gang was already at the table
"Where's Goku?" Chichi asked
"I don't, and honestly I don't care," 18 admitted
"Well maybe I wasn't talking to you 18," Chichi said
"Whatever," 18 said
Goku saw his group and walked up to wit a bag in his hand. He walked up to Bulma first and dropped the bag right on her salad
"What the hell is your problem?" Bulma asked
"Shut the fuck up and open the bag bitch," Goku said
"First off you-," Bulma tried to speak
"-First off I said open the damn bag bitch, do I have to repeat myself, oh wait you wanna Scooby snack, if I give you a treat will you obey, you stupid bitch, then you can play fetch with your owner with what's in the bag," Goku said
"Oh my gosh," Vegeta laughed
Bulma shot him a death glare, "Don't let him talk to me like that," Bulma stated
"OPEN THE DAMN BAG," Goku yelled
He got the whole cafeteria's attention
Bulma opened the bag and saw it was filled with pens
"What is this?" She asked
"Jesus Christ how stupid can you be, there pens since you say I chew your precious pens I got you some to write with and some you can fetch with," Goku said as he grabbed a pen and threw it across the cafeteria, "Go fetch you dog,"
"Go! Go!" Goku yelled
The cafeteria watched as Bulma went and fetched the pen for him
"Here," She growled as she gave him the pen
"Thanks good slut," Goku said as he patted her head
"Don't touch me bastard," Bulma said, "I'm not a slut,"
"Well I beg to differ from the little kitty trying to come out and play," Goku said as he pointed to her dress this shocked everyone, "Plus with your hair changing from purple to blue shows that you jump from guy to guy, example 'A' Yamcha and example 'B' Vegeta," Goku said
"It's high school we can date multiple people," Bulma said
"Yeah that's true but how long have you been in high school," Goku said
"Umm, I didn't get held back," she said
"You have not but you are like 3 million years older than us," He said
"No I'm 4 months older than you," She said
"More like 41 months older, and you are still in high school you probably jumped from George Washington to Abe Lincoln as fast as you can say let me suck your Shenron," Goku said
Bulma on the verge of tears yelled, "You are so rude… you, you,"
"-No you rude you rude as hell, and uh could you stop stuttering," Goku said
"Someone needs to put you in your place Goku," Bulma said
"And someone should put in a box floating down the river Bulma," Goku ended
DDDANNNNNGG! The cafeteria yelled
With that Bulma ran to the bathroom
"Oh my gosh Goku you hurt Bulma's feeling, you should be ashamed of yourself," Chichi said
"Yeah Goku that was uncalled for," 17 said
"17 your phone is a better android than you so shut the hell up!" Goku yelled
Hahaha! 18, Chichi, and Vegeta began laugh
"Cheapcheap I don't know why your laughing because I'm pretty sure 17's little LG lucky is worth more than your pathetic life," Goku said
Chichi stopped laughing
"Well technically I'm a cyborg," 17 stated
"Kool call doctor gives a damn 'cause I sure as hell don't," Goku stated
"Goku if this is a roast section you want, then its roast section you're gonna get," Chichi said
"Bring it on Chichi," Goku said
They stared at each other
"Me and 17 against you," Chichi stated
"First off your bun makes a better boob than your actual boob, and 17 you ain't tuff nor cool with your Fred from Scooby Dobby Do looking ass so you can just try and solve the mystery of why the hell you look so ugly, plus Chichi where did you get your clothes Susan B Anthony's grave," Goku stated
"-Ah," Chichi and 17 were about to speak
"-Ah don't even talk until you get on my level, and Chichi close your mouth you're gonna get more flies than you already have, oh wait the flies already died due to your breathe which smells as if your mouth is a prison toilet, and 17 just don't talk because-," Goku said because he went ahead and punched 17 in his stomach
"-Ugh!" 17 yelled in pain
"-Because you can't speak," Goku said
"DAMN!" The cafeteria said
Chichi then shut her and sat down feeling awful
"And Piccolo," Goku said
"Yeah," Piccolo said nervous at what Goku was gonna do
"How's the weather up there you stupid giraffe, are you sick because you look a little green," Goku said
"You know I always look like this," Piccolo said
"Yeah it must be awful to be born that ugly," Goku said
"Goku I had enough," Piccolo said as he tried to punch him in the face but Goku caught it
"Seriously is that all you got," Goku said, "When you can dodge this you can be the leader," he said as he punched Piccolo in the gut, "Look, now you and your best friend have matching stomach bruises,"
"WHERE'S THE STUPID SHORT BALD THING?!" Goku yelled
Krillin came forth, "I'm right here," He nervously spoke
"I never want to see your HIDEOUS GOD FORSAKEN face until, you get one a nose, two at least to my knees in height and three when you can beat at least Piccolo in a fight and even if you did it's not saying much all it means is that you have power level of like I don't know 2400," Goku said, "Oh yeah and when you stop smelling like axe, sea salt, and mildew,"
Goku then put on a glove and punched Krillin into the next building
"Well I think that's everyone," Goku happily stated, "Boy am I hungry,"
And with that Goku went to eat leaving his friends some in tears either laughter or in sadness or in an angry mood
"Damn Kakarrot, that was hilarious," Vegeta stated
Goku's YouTube video
Sup guys it's me Goku and after talking shit and roasting my friends at lunch they know now not to mess with me, Anyways this is a story time video me and Vegeta went to Sonic and they charged me an extra 5 cents so this is the time I almost Scammed, so what hap-
Come on guys we got to go to school! A voice called out.
Find out on the next chapter of The Wrong Timeline Chapter 7 The Shadow Dragons. Don't miss it!