Okay, I know you all probably hate me for the last chapter, and this one won't make you think any higher of me. BUT... I'll take you're opinions into account.

The more reviews I get, the sooner I'll get Malec back together. It's all up to you. Deal?

Alec POV

Alec ran through the corridors and up several flights of stairs, vision blurry, and the sound of his pounding heart muting the echoes of the music and chatter from the Great Hall. He pushed himself forward, each step echoing off the walls, taking him further from happy faces, further from a soon to be concerned and raging sister, increasing the distance between Alec's shattered heart and the cause of its down-fall.

Magnus.

The mere thought of his name sent piercing daggers to his heart as the scene in the hall replayed itself in Alec's brain. He angrily pushed the memory away. He would not think of that, he could not. He would not let himself fall apart, at least not until he reached the safety of the empty Ravenclaw Tower.

When he reached the entrance, he realized he couldn't think straight, especially not enough to answer whatever riddle there was today. But he had to try. He couldn't wait out here until others came back from the party to find him sitting on the floor, with-

No, he told himself firmly. That won't happen. He forced back his ever so threatening tears and stared at the eagle knocker.

"What Am I?" it began, before continuing. "I'm sometimes white but always wrong.
I can break a heart and hurt the strong.
I can build love and tear it down.
I can make a smile but more often a frown.

What Am I?"

Alec gave the knocker a hard look, but he didn't even need to think the riddle through before responding.

"A lie," he answered, biting back the resurfacing tears. Just a few more seconds, he told himself.

And sure enough, he answered correctly.

The door opened, and Alec entered a room of blue and bronze. He didn't waste a second taking in the familiar surroundings, however, as he ran up the stairs till he reached his thankfully empty dorm. The door shut behind him and he slid down to the floor against it. He let the memories flood over him and finally let go.

He let himself be dragged away from Magnus by Izzy. He knew he wouldn't get out of this, so what was the point of resisting?

He danced with Izzy for three songs. It all went by in a blur, a blur in which he realized that he actually wasn't too bad of a dancer. He didn't remember much, other than the one moment where he danced by Magnus, smiled at him, and received a smile in return before being dragged back into the crowd by a smiling Izzy. He loved seeing Izzy so happy, and it made him smile too. Everything about this night was great.

It was not to long after that that the third song ended. Izzy finally let him go, and he walked through the dancing bodies, looking for Magnus. There were so many people there, and Alec spotted a few people he recognized. Aline and Helen were now heading off to the courtyard, hand in hand, and he also saw the Beauxbaton champion dancing with a girl with brown hair that Alec didn't know the name of. He wondered where Camille was, seeing as she wasn't with Jean. He couldn't help but feel at least a little happy at the fact that Magnus's ex wasn't having that great of the night, or maybe even that Jean broke up with her. He knew he shouldn't think that way, seeing as Camille had never done anything to him specifically, besides dating Magnus, but it wasn't her fault for not knowing how he felt. Alec wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even know he existed before this year. But still, he heard of some of the rumors about what she did before to other people, not to mention, he did know she did something to Magnus, seeing as he was no longer friends with her, so he didn't feel guilty for finding pleasure at her small misfortune.

Alec shook his head. He didn't need to think about her anymore. She didn't matter-

Alec stopped where he was, looking at the other side of the room at a sight he never expected to see today.

There she was, wearing a red dress with her blond curls falling behind her. Camille.

But it wasn't Camille that caught Alec's attention. It was the Slytherin that she was standing way to close too. His face was turned away, but Alec knew who it was. No one else would ever be brave enough to wear such bold fashion choices. It was Magnus.

Alec barely had any time to take anything in before he saw Camille turn Magnus's head and lean forward and…

Kiss him.

She kissed him.

And as Alec watched, he saw Magnus place his hands on her. But he didn't push her away. He didn't push her off like Alec expected. He was kissing back, and it was like the world slowed down around Alec. Everyone around him faded away, except for Magnus and Camille. He couldn't hear anything except the pounding of his heart.

It had only been a second, but Alec couldn't take it. He couldn't stay there. He couldn't stand to watch his boyfriend kissing someone else. Almost as soon as it had begun, he turned around and ran. He ran through the crowd of people, heading for the door. He felt his eyes tear up but he didn't let any fall. He pushed his tears back; he couldn't let anyone see him cry. It was a Lightwood family thing: Lightwoods don't cry, and if you do, you don't let anyone see. Crying showed weakness, and Lightwoods should not, could not, look weak.

As he ran, he ignored the faces around him. He didn't see anything but the door ahead of him. He didn't ever see Magnus push Camille off of him, nor did he hear anything he said to her. He didn't notice Tessa's confused look. When he finally left the Great Hall, and when he had already ran down a few corridors, he didn't hear his name being called desperately. He just kept running and running, not daring to look back, stop, or turn around.

Now he was finally in his room, finally alone. But somehow, he felt worse. Thinking about it all, replaying it again and again, was doing nothing for him. And to make it worse, he couldn't stop thinking about everything from earlier that night, dancing with Magnus, coming out to the school, kissing him, except now the memories were bitter-sweet. One memory kept coming into his mind: Raphael's warning. God, how he wished he had listened to him.

For once, Alec thought he mattered. For once he had something to look back on and be happy about when he thought about his time at Hogwarts. The year had looked so promising. Before, Alec couldn't wait to get out of there. He only had Jace, who would be out of school as well in a few years, and if Alec wanted to see him before then, he could meet him at Diagon Alley over the summer. Magnus had made him happier at Hogwarts, gave him something else to remember the school by. And to think I actually thought he cared about me, Alec thought bitterly.

Of course he didn't care. Why would he? Who would care about plain, boring, old Alec? Alec, the only Lightwood who didn't make it in Gryffindor, who didn't live up to the family name. Alec Lightwood, out-shinned by his siblings and who wasn't even good enough to be the top of his class. He wasn't brave enough to be in Gryffindor, nor was he the smartest Ravenclaw, and he wasn't memorable enough to be noticed by the people in his own grade. He wasn't even all that attractive. Alec was convinced of all of this. He wondered why Magnus had even liked him in the first place.

But he didn't like you, did he? He asked himself. He was just using you. It was probably all just a game to him. A fun experiment. Or maybe even a way to make Camille jealous. Alec was just being toyed with. Everything Magnus told him, everything he did, all the feelings he evoked, it was all an act. A stupid act Alec had willingly and stupidly fell for.

Alec heard a soft knock at the door, but he ignored it, hoping that whoever it was would just go away and leave him to wallow in self pity.

But a minute later, the person knocked again. "Alec?" called a soft voice.

It was Tessa.

"Alec, please open this door."

Alec sighed and stood up. He placed a hand on the doorknob and paused for a moment, before opening the door.

Upon seeing Alec in his post-heartbreak state, Tessa's face softened to deep concern. "Oh, Alec," she said before taking Alec in her arms.

Alec stood frozen for a second before hugging her back. He let a few tears fall down his face and Tessa hugged him tighter. Alec didn't realize how much he had needed this. It was the type of thing Izzy would have done for him. Alec was surprised at how close they had become, but he didn't spend too much time thinking about it. He was thankful for her, thankful for someone who he knew cared about him, someone else to turn to, someone who would be there when he needed them, and someone besides Jace or Izzy, who couldn't be there in situations like this, when Alec was hiding out in his dorm. He let himself draw comfort from the presence of his friend.

Tessa guided him to sit on the edge of the nearest bed before separating from him. She looked at him and locked their gazes. "What happened?" she asked him, her eyes full of concern and sympathy.

Alec looked away from her. "Shouldn't you be at the ball?" he asked her.

"I don't have any reason to stay," she began. "I didn't have a date, and to be completely honest, it just isn't my type of thing. I was planning on leaving to go finish my book anyways. And," she said, slowing her pace and softening her voice, "I noticed your quick dash out of the Great Hall."

Looking at those gray eyes, Alec couldn't help but let everything out. He didn't hold back anything, from Raphael's warning to running from the Great Hall. As hard as it was to relive the emotions, it felt good let it out, to have someone to confide in.

As he told his story (to which Tessa listened intently), his sadness turned to anger. He hated this feeling. He hated what Magnus did to him, how he toyed with him, made him feel special for once, only to tear it all apart in the blink of an eye. But no matter what, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get himself to hate Magnus. He hated what he did, but he couldn't hate him. His previous feelings for him over-powered his hurt. He would ever admit it to anyone, not even himself, but he was afraid that he had started to love Magnus. Not that it matters, Alec thought to himself sadly, considering the other party doesn't return these feelings.

Even though he couldn't hate Magnus, he sure could hate Camille. And hate her he did. He hated her for taking Magnus from him. He hated her for stealing Magnus's heart. He hated her for taking him back on this very night, for kissing him at the Yule Ball. And after Alec had came out to the school, after she knew they were dating. And he hated her for being the one that Magnus actually cared for, the one he actually loved. And why wouldn't he? She was perfect. Sure, she could be a cold-hearted she-devil (all the more reason to hate her), but she was beautiful, confident, put-together, and kind and protective over those that cared for her, such as Magnus. And Alec hated her for that as well. Not to mention she was in the same house as Magnus, so they clearly had similar traits. They were practically the perfect match.

Alec hated it.

But most of all, he hated himself. How could he have been so stupid? He had let himself fall way to deep with Magnus, and didn't pay enough mind to any warning that came his way. He hated himself for being so blind, for thinking that Magnus would actually like him. He would have saved himself so much pain and confusion if he just kept his feelings at bay rather than letting them control him. And he hated how he felt for Magnus. He hated his stupid broken heart and how it was so unable to hate was caused it to break, but instead for loving him. And he hated how he couldn't just get over him.

As soon as Alec finished sharing the events of that night, Tessa gave him another quick hug before looking at him again. "Are you sure he was kissing her back?" she asked him. "And, you don't know, he could have pushed her off after you left… You did say you were only there for a second or two, right?"

Alec shook his head. "No, he was definitely kissing back," he replied sadly.

"Are you sure? I mean, maybe…"

"Please, Tessa, don't try to make excuses."

"But the thing is when I came to see you, I passed him sitting on the floor in the corridors, alone, and he didn't look too good. But I was too concerned about you so I didn't stop and barely registered his presence till I was already up two flights of stairs. But now I see that maybe…" She trailed off, before Alec interrupted.

"Please don't get my hopes up, Tess, for they can fall just as easily," Alec replied, turning away from her.

"I know," she said. "You're right Alec. I just can't believe that he would do something like that."

"Neither can I," Alec said, mostly to himself.

"I guess we don't know him like we thought we did," Tessa sighed. "I'm so sorry Alec," she said, hugging him for the third time. "Is there anything you want me to do for you."

"No, you don't have to," Alec replied. "Just-please don't tell Izzy or Jace, or anyone who would tell them. They're going to tear Magnus apart."

"Oh, and you think I won't do the same?"

"Tessa!"

"What? He can't just get away with messing with you. You never did anything to deserve this."

"It's just…" Alec sighed. "Look, please don't do anything to hurt him." He struggled to find a believable excuse. "On the off chance that this was all just a big misunderstanding, I don't want to push him away."

Tessa studied him, a look full of disbelief on her face. In truth, Alec just couldn't bear the thought of Magnus being in deep, physical pain. He cared for him, still.

Luckily, Tessa let it drop, probably deciding that the night had been difficult enough for Alec already. She shook her head and looked back up before saying, "Fine. Just don't expect me to be all buddy-buddy with him. I won't just stand by and let him dance over the pieces of your heart."

"Thank you," Alec said.

Tessa stayed with Alec for a while, just comforting him and helping him get his mind off of Magnus. When they heard other students walking up the stairs, Tessa and Alec bid their goodnights and Tessa went to her dorm, leaving Alec to dress for bed and go to sleep. He practically ripped the clothes off his body, not wanting anything left to remind him of that night. He threw on a pair of boxer shorts and a T-shirt before flopping onto his bed.

His fellow roommates walked in and moved around the room, chatting happily and going about their own business, but Alec didn't pay any attention to them. He pretended he was asleep, even though he did catch his name a few times, as well as Magnus's. He groaned in his mind. Of course, he knew what they were discussing. Now they all knew he was gay. Alec kept his eyes firmly shut, not wanting to deal with any conversations about it, or any judging looks that he still expected to get. No, he would deal with that another time. He didn't have the energy for it tonight.

Finally, the conversations ended, the movement stopped, and the lights were turned off. But with the darkness came the memories again. However, now his eyes remained dry. The pain was still fresh, but he couldn't find it in him to cry. He would not shed a tear over someone who didn't care about him, over someone who used him. He never felt the same way. There was no point in feeling sad about something that was never real. Nor could he let Magnus ever find out how much this affected him. He would not give Magnus the satisfaction. And even if he did care at a time, he didn't anymore, and at least Alec could make it seem like he didn't really like Magnus that much either. No, Magnus would not get the reaction he expected, the reaction he maybe wanted. Alec would have to seem unaffected, and seeming to be so was one step closer to being unaffected. It was a step towards getting over Magnus, and that was what Alec really needed at that moment: to move on. And he should. This was just the first relationship, and Magnus was just one guy. There would be others to come, others that returned Alec's feelings. Alec was sure of it.

Alec told himself this over and over till he, not erased or decreased, but numbed the pain, at least for a little while. He knew it would take a while to get over him, but he knew the feelings for him would never go away. But he would not let himself get too emotional over it.

It was with that decision that Alec finally let his mind drift off into a restless sleep.

Like I said earlier, the more reviews I get, the sooner I'll get them back together.

It's in your hands.

Have a great Halloween :)