The Third Question

Yoshii Akira's homeroom question:

A woman must know his man's favorite dish and make a special version of your cooking to satisfy him. Write your man's favorite dish and give the ingredients of your own version. Aki-kun will check your answer.

Yoshii Akira's answer:

Pa ella

Ingredients:

Rice

Iron bar

Calorie Mate

Protein bar

Yoshii Akihisa's comment:

Wrong for answering your own question and wrong in more ways than one in this answer.

Shimada Minami's answer:

Pa ella

Ingredients:

Chili pepper

Hot sauce

Chili powder

Wasabi

Tabasco sauce

Yoshii Akihisa's comment:

Without the rice, this will only create a blazing hot lava soup...the poor animals.

Mizuki Himeji's answer:

Pa ella

Ingredients:

Rice

Vegetables

Shrimp

Ripe grapes

Tobacco

Sodium nitrate

Nitrosylsulfuric acid

Zirconium tetrachloride

Secret sauce

Yoshii Akira's comment:

I don't know what happened but Aki-kun packed all of his things screaming "FORGET THE ANIMALS! POOR ME!" And ran out of the house. I guess Mizuki-chan will need to know that some of the ingredients aren't used for cooking.

All of the guys have dreamed about their fantasies involving women especially harem, but why is it that...

"Aki-kun, could you explain nee-san why Mizuki-chan and the Shimada sisters are clinging on to you?"

...I am having nightmares about this?

I'm confused on what's going on as well but I have to risk something for the good of all.

"Nee-san, truth is that I don't even know either."

"Aki-kun, nee-san will be preparing Aki soup later so be a good boy and just stay here while nee-san prepare the things needed."

Ah...so I became a soup ingredient for telling the truth.

"Nee-san, listen to me, I really don't have an-GUAH! MINAMI! IT HURTS! IT HURTS! ARGH! HIMEJI-SAN TOO?"

When did these two get even stronger? At this rate, I don't have any hands to use.

As I can remember, Minami moved to Japan from Germany 3 years ago because of her sister, Hazuki-chan while Himeji-san's been my classmate before middle school but she has a fragile body so she's weak. I would understand Minami getting stronger but how can Himeji-san be able to squeeze my arm to even stop my blood flow?

"A-Aki..."

"W-what is it M-Minami?"

"Can we go into your room?"

"Eh!?"

My room?! Not good, I just unpacked some of my things and I haven't thought of trying to hide my precious items yet.

I have to get out of this problem and fast.

"W-why don't we talk about it right here?"

"T-that's not good, Akihisa-kun! S-Since you've come home, w-we want to check your things for..."

"A-books! that's it! A-books! Even if Akira-san is around, you probably hide those precious things without her looking, right."

"R-right, Akihisa-kun shouldn't be the type to have those things."

Guu...when did they even manage to tag-team on me? And can't you guys just give me a break? I'm legal to read these stuff now!

"Baka onii-chan's room? Yay! Hazuki wants to go inside too!"

"Eh? Even Hazuki-chan?! Well...if you excuse me then, I have to tidy up m-GUAH! TIGHT!...TOO TIGHT!"

"Akihisa-kun, didn't you hear what we said?"

"We're gonna go together for a room check."

"Baka onii-chan must have some secret items to like onee-ch-mff!"

I felt a lightness from the grip in one of my arm as Minami tried to cover up her mouth.

I see... its best to not let Himeji-san know that Minami likes species that are closely resembling to humans but not actually humans.

I tried to escape but Himeji's strength, although not that strong, managed to put me in place.

"Where do you think you're going, Akihisa kun?"

"I-I'm gonna help nee-chan with her cooking instead."

"That's not good, you treated us so kindly for a long time now. So just keep Minami-chan and Hazuki-chan company in your room while I help Akira-san with dinner."

That's worse than my suggestion, when it comes to comparing nee-san to Himeji-san...they're identical to being killer chefs except Himeji-san is on the hellish level.

"T-that won't do Himeji-san, you may have a hard time with your cooking from your growing body unlike Minami that's still undevelo-AHHH! MY BODY THAT HAS A BREAK FROM BREAKING IS NOW ABOUT TO BE BROKEN AGAIN! GUWOOH!"

Its been a long time since I felt that sheer pain from Minami's fl-Ouch! OUCH! IYAAAAA!

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

It felt like days have come by that I felt knocked out by Minami's overpowered strength, right now, I felt something heavy on my chest.

"Ba...ni...an...!"

Urgh! And with that weird voice mixed in, it felt like I got possessed by something.

"Baka...chan...!"

That voice...

"Baka onii-chan!"

"Hazuki...chan"

"Ah! Baka onii-chan, you're awake."

"Aki!"

I looked around as I regained my consciousness, I'm inside my room with Hazuki sitting on me and Minami on my old study table with Hideyoshi's photo collection...

"...uhm...Minami?"

"Y-yes Aki?"

"C-can I have that back?"

"And why should I?"

Damn! If I say the truth that 'I need that treasure', she'll either rip it to shreds or rip me to shreds before it, I have to say it without exposing it.

"Because you have something better than my life's worth(of time and fortune)"

"Eh?!"

Eh? Minami's face was red all over, did I made her mad or something? I have to get close to her before she can react.

"Hazuki, how bout we'll seat over there since I'm wide awake now."

"Aww...but Hazuki wants to stay like this a little longer."

"Now now, if you let me sit with your nee-san, we'll play something together, okay?"

"Eh?"

"Yay! Hazuki wants to play with baka onii-chan!"

Uh oh! Minami's face getting redder. I have to be careful in saying things or the next place I'll be waking up to will be the Sanzu river.

With Hazuki's approval, we sat to each side of Minami.

I'm getting nervous now but I have to take that book back. And now that I noticed from sitting beside her, Minami looks cuter and a bit more mature than before.

"Well then...I brought some board games from where I'm from which is simple and easy to play with, 'Snake and Ladders'."

Whew...nearly bit my tongue for that english.

"Suneiku andu radurusu?...Ah! That game!"

Seems they both know the game.

"Rules are simple, we roll the dice to move the pieces to the number of spaces it says, spaces with ladders moves the pieces forward to the end, but snakes will pull them back, first to get to the end wins."

"Hmm...can I add a new rule baka onii-chan?"

Hmm...I guess its harmless to break some of the rule for Hazuki.

"Sure! What is the rule?"

"Hehe...Winner will give a kiss."

"K-kiss?!"

"Sure."

"Eh! A-A-Aki, are you sure?!"

"I don't mind at all."

But I think that's a condition and not a rule and if it's Hazuki-chan, a kiss on the forehead would be enough. By the way, why is Minami stuttering about this? Is kissing a young girl in the forehead isn't that bad, right?

We rolled the dice to see who goes first and this is the order that it came up:

1st - Shimada Hazuki

2nd - Shimada Minami

3rd - Yoshii Akihisa

...To roll a '1' to know who's first, is this a bad omen?

It felt like a single game went on for hours: we all get dragged down by snakes and rarely get any ladders(except for me for luckily getting it).

For now, Hazuki and Minami are close to the goal with only 4 spaces left, while I'm right behind them by 2 spaces but even it looks like a head to head game, there's a snake just before the goal that that'll put them 2 spaces behind me. It's supposed to be a fun game but why is Minami getting so worked up about this? Her killing aura even began to seep out of her body...was there something bad in that condition asked by her sister?

"Hehe...it's my win."

Hazuki's confident tone seems to have reached to a certain new level as she roll the dice onto the board.

"Ah! It's a three."

And back towards the space behind me Hazuki's piece went.

"Aww...and I was so close..."

She pouted in dismay, I feel sorry for her luck went down but she looks even cuter than her serious mode earlier. Minami seemed to have calmed down from the tense atmosphere as well and then picked up the dice.

"Yosh! My turn!"

She raised her fist with the die high and shakes it, then threw it to the board to reveal it's number.

"2."

"That was close, Minami."

"Y-yea."

Even it's a low one, that was a close call.

"Yosh! My turn then."

"Baka onii-chan, you sure managed to catch up to us even though you mostly roll 1 and 3."

"Aki has the worst luck, Hazuki. So don't cling to him for too long or you might get infected."

To put a heavy blow on me, Minami still won't pull back any of her punches.

Hiding my sad expression, I rolled the dice as inside my mind, I shouted out loud for my savior.

Striker Sigma V!

The tension comes towards the board as the dice spun onto it. And then, slowly, the dice began to reveal its number.

"6?!..."

"A 6?! A-Aki, you won?"

"Eh? I did?!"

I looked at where my piece is at, it's 6 spaces from the goal, the exact number needed to win. I did! I won! Thank you, Striker Sigma V! You truly are the best.

"Well baka onii-chan, who do you want to give a kiss to?"

Eh? Now that I remembered, the condition was the winner has to give a kiss.

"Well..."

And now that I think about it...Minami is over-protective of her little sister so I can't even kiss her forehead if I want to preserve my life...and now, I just realized the gravity of this situation was too intense... However, if its...

"... Minami, I don't even know if it's alright to do it."

Just thinking about it made me remember about that time. She'll might do more than just killing me to calm herself down.

"Onee-chan?"

"M-m-me?!"

"Hm?...ah!"

Damn! I blurted out Minami's name from thinking too hard. Its bad already for her to see my collection, but if I said I'd kiss her...

"Ahah...it's just a joke! A joke! So don't think of it too much, okay?"

Damn! Of all the landmines I stepped on, I stepped on the biggest one.

Minami's face gone redder and her head bowed so down that I can't even see her face .

"Hazuki, can you close your eyes for me?"

I'M DEAD MEAT!

"Aww...ok. Hehe!"

Hazuki's ok 'me get killed in front of her?' Did the time she saw me get punished by the FFF made her immune to this kind of situation?!

"Uhm... Isn't this a good time to take back all the things I said just now?"

This is my last chance to escape, if she won't take it, I'll...

"Prepare yourself, Aki."

...Grandpa, it looks like I'll be seeing you sooner than expected.

I closed my eyes tight and just braced for impact.

"Fufu..."

I don't know what she's giggling about but its definately something ba- Eh? Something touched my lips: its warm, soft...wait, haven't I felt something this before?!

I opened my eyes and to my surprise, Minami's lips are pressed against mine. Eh? W-what just happened? W-what should I do now? If someone comes and saw this, how can I even explain it?!

Thump! Thump! Thump!

"Akihisa-kun! Minami-chan! Hazuki-chan! It's me, can I come in?"

As we all heard Himeji-san's voice, our lips separate from each other with our face flushed deep red; Hazuki-chan opened her eyes not knowing what actually happened; and I tried to reply to the call.

"Y-yes, come in."

"Excuse me the- huh? What happened here?"

I hate to confuse Himeji-san too much but I have to. I should lie about the big detail because she might get depressed like last time.

"Nothing, we just played 'Snake and Ladders'."

"Y-yea, it's nothing, we just made sure Hazuki have some fun time here."

"Yup, we did and then baka onii-chan and n-mff!"

I'm sorry Hazuki-chan but please bear with us covering your mouth for now.

"I see...well dinner is ready so please come!"

Oh right since I'm knocked out earlier, Himeji-san and nee-san cooked for us instead...

I think I just remembered one crucial thing tonight...and it seemed like this hell isn't over yet...

We head to the dining table, this feels uneasy seeing that I'm the only guy in this house also considering those 2 killer chefs who created a killer dish, it feels like a punishment game.

"Wow...these looks great, Mizuki, Akira-san"

"Eeh! Pretty nee-chan and sexy nee-chan's cooking looks so wonderful."

I'm assure you, it's the bomb...literally.

"I'm still not confident with my cooking yet."

"And I only followed Akira-san's recipe."

"Ah, I see."

Knowing that it's now nee-san's cooking that was constructed, this will decrease my risk dramatically then.

"Aki-kun, would you sit next to me and Mizuki?"

"Ah, no problem."

Seems a reasonable situation, with nee-san beside me, the girls would feel relaxed from being bothered by me.

From the looks of the meal, it seems we all had pa ella for dinner, we only have this meal once a month in America so it seems like a good time to have this to celebrate our small reunion.

Huh? This pa ella in my plate looks different from the rest for some reason.

"Ah, so Aki-kun noticed."

"Eh? Then this is..."

"Uhm, Akihisa-kun, I tried to make you a special meal so I asked Akira-san if I can change her recipe for your pa ella, I didn't know Akihisa-kun became sharper to spot the difference in cooking."

Trying to evade your cooking by feeding it to someone else, it became our specialty nowadays... But with no one to push the killer blow, I wish I had other options.

"You still have me, right?"

Ah! The devil in my heart, it's been a while.

"You should tell her the truth or else you're the one who's gonna wake up as a zombie."

Hmm...that's a straight to the point answer.

"No! If you did that, Himeji-san will be hurt deeply, its been a long time since you last met right?"

Shut up, angel! You've given me troubles for a long time now.

"Hmm...have you tried asking it then?"

Not a bad idea.

"Uhm...nee-san, have you tasted how good Him-"

"Aki-kun, am I the type to try test my rival's cooking?"

"AH! SORRY TO EVEN ASK!... Then, Himeji-san?"

"Ah! Uhm...I still want you to try it still. I'm pretty confident of my cooking now."

All exits are blocked...AGAIN?!

"Well angel, you made a pretty dumb option."

"Well yours can't handle a woman's feeling."

"Oh yea? Loser gets to eat Himeji's cooking."

"Bring it!"

You guys...you still haven't learned that I'll be the one who'll wound up dead by her cooking.

"Well...let's eat then."

"Itadakimasu!"

"I-itadakimasu..."

I know nee-san's improving because I've tasted(the test subject of) her cooking and improving it at the same time(for my sake and for the rest of the family) but the main problem now is Himeji's cooking(trap).

"Uwah! It tastes good, almost like Aki's"

"Eh? Baka onii-chan's cooking was this good?!"

Now that she mentioned it, Hazuki-chan didn't had the chance to eat my cooking...not that I plan to anyways.

"I haven't had the chance to do it so I followed Aki-kun recipe."

Ah...so that's why they said its close to mine.

"But nee-san, I don't remember writing a recipe."

"Ah that's because nee-san took note on how to cook it Aki-kun's way but Mizuki-chan's the one who followed it accordingly."

Right, Himeji did told us she followed it on a recipe...I guess I won't get married now that they know my secret more...

"Uhm...nee-san's writing on Aki-kun's recipie was good, I had a hard time adding my own ingredients."

Himeji-san...just following my instructions is enough to grant you a win in being a perfect housewife...

With them already started eating, I looked down at my pa ella...Urgh! Looking at it, it's already scary even though it looks too elegant to resist. I have to text Yuuji. Luckily, I asked his number after that chase this morning.

-Yuuji, help! Is there any other way to resist Himeji's poison?-

With him known as a prodigy, there's no wa-

-R.I.P. We'll pray over your soul.-

DAMN BASTARD!

-Kirishima-san, it's me, Yoshii. Yuuji's in his house, and he's about to escape. Hurry!-

-...Thank you. The wedding's the day after the reunion.-

That's what you get, traitor...now for my problem...

I don't have a reliable source but they say that drinking lots of water helps detoxing the body by sending the toxins to the kidneys, maybe that'll help.

"Aki, if you drank too much of water, you won't be able to eat your dinner."

"It'll be fine. Just getting my throat ready."

Because if I don't, I wouldn't be celebrating life anymore.

I feel link I drank 2 gallons of water by now, hopefully this would be enough.

And now...for the moment of truth!

"Aki, are you still there? Were comi- well, you slept early, huh?"

"Baka onii-chan's pretty lazy but cute. Ehehe!"

"But if he sleeps right after eating so much, he'll get fat."

"So...her cooking's that dangerous, huh? I won't lose."

"Did you say something Minami-chan?"

"Ah nothing! Nothing at all."

"Weee!"

"Oi! Hazuki, don't disturb Aki's sleep, we have to go home too."

"Our parents aren't coming home tonight and Hazuki doesn't have school tommorow."

"That maybe true but why in Aki's room?"

"Cause Hazuki wants to sleep with baka onii-chan."

"I think we should let Hazuki-chan do what she wants, we already know much about Akihisa-kun."

"W-well...I still don't trust him because this idiot will use his body rather than his brain but I'll allow Hazuki as long as I'll be guarding her."

"Thank you, onee-chan! Hehe!"

"I dunno why but I feel kinda sleepy too, Minami-chan."

"Yea, probably because of this idiot's sleeping sickness are affecting us."

"Minami-chan, how about we should punish him for leaving us so suddenly last year?"

"Hoho...Nice one, Mizuki. You've become bolder than usual."

"Well Akihisa-kun(Yawn)...you shouldn't sleep while were awake..."

"(Yawn) Yeah Aki! If you fall asleep now...you're...in...big...trouble...zzz..."

"Hehe...good night baka onii-chan...zzz..."

I woke up in what seemingly familiar to me. A river wide that separates 2 lands, a black fog covered forest on one side, and the side where I am that was filled with flowers.

"Looks like I became a regular here huh."

Joking aside, its true.

Everytime someone ate Himeji's deadly cooking they automatically wound up here.

"This means..."

That water thing is still no match for Himeji's undefeated cooking ability.

"Come with us! Let's have some fun! It's great in here! Won't you join with us?"

The voices came from the other side are becoming familiar to me, I wonder what grandpa would say.

"Ah! Aki-chan come join with me, your grandma is stripping over here."

WHAT THE HELL, GRAMPS? YOU'RE WILLING TO LET YOUR GRANDSON DIE JUST TO LET HIM SEE HIS GRANDMA NAKED?!

"Yo, Akihisa."

Another familiar voice came with a cold touch upon my shoulder.

"It seems it got worse this time, huh?"

"Yuuji, isn't the same for you as well?"

It seems that even in death, our souls will still remember our greatest memory.

"You moron! How can you tell Shouko about me trying to escape?! She shocked me right when I just jumped out of the window!"

"What about you, Bastard? Isn't it that 'a friend in need is a friend indeed?' I asked you for help yet where's the help I get?!"

Our arms clasped and pushed against each other, trying to take the other person down.

"Damn you, this time, I'll really finish you off!"

"Let's see if you can try it, 'Yuu-jerk'!"

Why is it that I can say English words so perfectly if it's something nasty?

"Your English is so dirty, let's try washing it first in the river. A-sh*t-hisa"

"Look who's talking, I should wash your body first in this river and hang you on the other side where it's hotter."

We fought for countless hours, exchanging blows and throws trying to put the other person to the dark wasteland.

"Not bad, Akihisa!"

"You too, Yuuji!"

Our souls won't waver as our intention are clear: One of us must come back alive leaving the other dead.

"How about both of you come here?"

"Eh?"

Our actions froze as we look towards the wasteland looking at whose voice said it.

"GET OVER HERE!"

"UWAAAH!"

"GUAH!"

"...Are you ok, Yuuji?"

"Damn Akihisa, I should've finished him off when I had a chance. Huh? Where am I? Why am I bounded to a chair?"

"...It's for you not to escape from me again."

"H-hey, even I want a break from staying in your house, Shouko. So can we let this thing be forgotten and set me free?"

"...No, because you would cheat on me. Also..."

"What is that? A picture of me and Akihisa running?"

"...A kind soul gave it to me."

"The only guy who can possess that kind of photography skill was Class F's Mitsurini."

"...He pointed out that while you two were running, he took a picture of you looking at older women's chest...here."

"THAT'S WRONG, I WASN'T LOOKING AT THE WOMAN, I WAS LOOKING AT YOU!"

"...Yuuji, you fiend. You should've told me sooner."

"GUAH! Its wrong Shouko! I was looking at you who's chasing me like a ghost."

"...Then, should teach you proper manners on how to treat your fiancee well."

"Stop it Shouko! We both need to preserve our strength for the final match there."

"...Final match? You mean at the school motivational event?"

"Yes, but rather, it's not a school event at all, it was a remach of the old Class A against Class F with the new students in the summoner test war, we'll definately beat you once and for all."

"...Yuuji, I don't you want to die."

"I'LL DIE HERE ANYWAYS!...Anywho, the match would be 5 old members of Class A and 7 old members of Class F to join the new 2nd years."

"...Yuuji, which venue you would like to go?"

"Give it up! I'll win for sure because my life depends on it."

"...Then, as a wife, I shall give you your homeschool now."

"Wait! You're still gonna tortu-GUWAAH!"

Yuuji and I vanished after that spirit's attack, damn, am I dragged into death just now? My arm and chest felt so heavy I can't move it. Is this how my life's going to end? Though I've already been kissed, I'm still a virgin and I still don't have a girlfriend to top it off.

"Akihisa-kun..."

Himeji-san, I'm sorry that I can't tell you the truth about your cooking. But I'm sure when you meet your first crush, be sure to taste your cooking before giving it to him.

"Aki..."

Minami, even though you are still flat and as strong as a guy. You became cuter and more matured than you were before. I hope you find a good guy...or girl for you.

"Baka...onii-chan."

Hazuki-chan, I'm sorry but onii-chan has to go somewhere where he can rest now.

Then I felt something tightening on my chest and soft yet warm wind on each side of my cheek. And when I opened my eyes...

"Eh?"

I-I'm still alive?

"Baka onii-chan..."

So, looks like I came back, huh. Hazuki sure likes to sleep on me, I feel like a pillow for her but that's not bad.

"Akihisa-kun..."

Eh, H-Himeji-san's on my left and her face is so close to me, w-w-why is she here?

"Aki...

M-Minami?! Why are you also close to my face? And why are both of your arms crossed on me?!

Wait...now that I noticed it...ISN'T THIS THE SAME AS THE PICTURE?!

I heard of déjà vu. But this is too much! How am I getting out of this without bothering these girls?! It's 3 am so I have plenty of time, just hope nee-san won't notice this or I'll be one heck of a trouble.

...What'll happen to me now?

Author's Comment:

Thanks for reading it so far, I'm trying to make things as accurate as possible so please bear with the errors I made from trying to match it with Inoue-sensei.

Looks like someone made a bold move as well.

Anyways...

Mizuki Himeji's answer:

It's not a joke...It's not a joke...It's not a joke...

Mik106's comment:

I think the question is too much for you, Himeji-san. Please calm down.

Mik106's Special Question 2:

What did Himeji-san say before she kissed Akihisa on his cheek after the 'Fumizuki Academy's Test of Courage'?