Ch.7-Making Presents and Breakfast Talks

We've been sitting around the coffee table with construction paper and other craft supplies splayed out. I watch as my boys draw and cut pieces of paper to glue back together. It's kind of cute to watch the lil one's talk of which colors and what their ideas are for their art they're making for Alec. When I finally call it quits an hour later the boys didn't want to sleep in their room again. So to find myself wrapped around my 2 young boys is surprising hard thing to do without the feel of Alec doing so as well. I feel the tears fall from my eyes a little bit at a time.

"Pa, when is daddy getting back home?"

I take a deep breath to calm myself petting lil Blue's hair, "I'm not sure, Blue, but I'm sure he'll be home soon enough."

"Whens that?" Raph asks.

"I'm not sure, Raph. We just have to hope that daddy will get better. That's all we can do."

"We can't use magic, but we can give him hope."

The boys look at each other before blue shrugs wrapping his arms around his brother. I smile as I rub their backs as they both find a way to wrap around me. I start to hum a lil lullaby that I remember my mother singing. I don't remember the words but the tune will forever stay with me. As they fall asleep I can't help but to think of Alec and how he was the first person to truly give me a gift for just being a gift without having an ulterior motive behind it.

I didn't sleep well that night I kept waking up from nightmares that I thought I'd never had to deal with again. The nightmares of being left alone in this world. A dream where I lost Alec and our boys. The last time I woke up during the night Cas and Mel were on either side of us wrapping us up in their arms. It was almost like when she was with me when I was a child and my mother's husband tried to kill me. I remember she'd hum me a lullaby telling me to be strong and how I'd be happy sooner than I'd think. She'd tell me that I'm not alone and that the world is filled with people like us and how we're never alone no matter what happens.

"Phx, wake up," I hear Raph tell me while trying to shake me awake.

I nod my head, "Give me a minute."

"Nope, I know what that means. It's time to get up and see daddy."

I groan as I look over to see the time, "It's barely 6in the morning. Visitors aren't allowed to come in until about 8."

I hear the boy sigh and I groan, "How about we eat, get dressed, and see where we find ourselves. We are running on only 4-6 hours of sleep little ones."

They simply nod their heads and we all find ourselves glaring at the clock as we make our way to the kitchen to find Mel and Cas making breakfast. Though I mostly do a dance in thanks for the wonderful mug of coffee that Cas hands me as she pushes me down into a chair at the table.

I sigh in relief as I sip the coffee, but it's not as good as Alec's when he finally started to understand my coffee maker. It was a funny little week since you'd think he'd know how to work it, but no it was too fancy. I chuckle as I think of it, but it slowly stops as I find myself looking at the mirror that's in front of me. I look like I've seen most monster movies that the boys love than anything. I do a little magic to clean my face. I stare at the makeup-free face that Alec has told me time and time again I should show more often cause I'm a lot more beautiful without it. I chuckle as I stare at myself debating if I want to do anything as I look at Max. My lil blueberry sitting there eating his blueberry pancakes like they're the last thing he might eat, but he stops as he looks at the place, "Daddy, used to put strawberries in as well."

My heart clenches and from the sound of Raph's fork hitting the plate, his does as well.

"Max, you're cousin and aunt are trying to help out as much as they can."

My 7year old warlock that I've been raising since he was a small little thing stares at me with tears in his eyes. Tears that match his brother's. My boys have always been strong, but at times like this, I always remember that they are simply children and they rely on Alec and me not just for financial things such as clothes, necessities, and a roof over their heads. Our boys rely on us for support emotionally and when we fall apart so do they. When they are to fall apart we are to stand strong and hold the pieces together.

"Magnus, I forgot to say I'm happy to hear the boys speak a little of your native tongue."

I know she's watching my body go rigid, but I feel Alec's hands on my shoulders, "Yeah, Alec and I had thought it would be nice for the boys to also know where their parents came from. Plus Alec is dad and daddy so I didn't know what I would be. One day when I was holding Max he had started to giggle and shouted Pa truthfully it scared me a lil bit. When I told Alec he had a little smile at how excited I was about this. I thought for a while I'd be Mags or Magnus in our children's eyes."

Cas chuckles, "I don't think that would ever happen. Do you know how long I ran away from speaking Latin for the longest time, especially in a time when all bibles and such were in Latin. It was hard for me and hard time to simply be alive."

Mel is staring at her hands and as she looks up I finally meet her eye's true color of a bright purple. She smiles gently at us as she sits down.

"Mommy said you were always like her learning all the languages that you could as you traveled, but you never really liked your native tongue or homeland."

I nod my head, "That's true, but we both had different reasons I'm sure."

Cas chuckles as she looks at me, "Magnus, like yourself my mother was married even in a time where it was popular to have more than 1 lover. I was born with fully eye eyes and sharp teeth. My mother's husband had abused me in more ways than 1… truthfully in all 3 types he had touched base and I closed off the side of me that's human and brought forth the demon side. I turned to hate the… I forgot if they were Greek or Romans at the time, but truthfully they are the same to me."

Raphael looks at her in wonder while Max looks a bit sad.

Raph thankfully speaks before his brother, "Did you have something to do with Pompeii?"

Cas laughs as she shrugs, "I didn't have a lot to do with it. I truthfully liked a few people that lived there, but the others that did were angry at the people of Rome and wanted to get payback on them. Which is where I learned it's better to let go of your anger." She looks at Max, "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Did they get rid of me cause I'm a warlock…. Cause I'm blue with horns.

I pull Max into my arms, "Who cares, you have 2 parents that love you more than anything Max and to tell you my friend Ragnor was green with horns. He was rather liked back in the day."

"Really?" Max asks excitedly.

I nod my head, "Yes, when he wasn't being called a sea monster back in the early 1700's."

Max chuckles as he stares over at me, "That's funny. Where is he?"

I stop and smile sadly, "He died a bit before we found you, Max. Though I miss the little cabbage a lot, the pain gets better as I remember him."

"By keeping the memories alive?"

I chuckle as I nod my head, "Yes."

I watch as Max's mood lightens as Mel, him, and Raph leaves the table after being excused. I smile sadly as I watch them. I barely take notice of Cas filling up my coffee and setting down a plate for me. I push it away as I grab the coffee tightly in my hands.

"Magnus, what's wrong?"

"Everyone leaves me eventually, Cas. My lovers never last and Knowing that Alec is mortal, but this love that I feel for him is something that I've never felt in my life. Max's face when we both mentioned our bad pasts was gut wrenching. Did you see Mel's face? Even with us as parents, they have seen a lot of bad. How am I supposed to tell Max anyways that his mother was more than likely human who was raped by a demon?"

"You don't, Magnus. Max is a bright boy and he probably already knows. Yet our mother's loved us. Sure when they realized what we were, they feared us."

"My killed herself when my warlock mark appeared," I tell her.

My sister stares at me, "I know. Mine used me to gain entrance into temples and palaces until she died. My white eyes appeared shortly after birth. I think someone had said I was kissed by the gods, but when my teeth start to come in sharp slowly people started to think I was truly a daughter of a monster and the gods wanted it to be known. I was hunted like an animal for about 10 or 20 years of my life before I learned how to use and control my magic enough to survive. When I started to meet more warlocks with stories a lot like my own I decided that I would travel around the world looking to help wayward warlocks. Then I started meeting ones that had the same parent as mine. I figured help everyone that I can as long as they deserve it."

"Seemed to work out for you."

I chuckle, "That it had. That it had. Luckily after all the bad luck I had things had started to turn around. Things always get worse before they get better you just can never be sure just how long that worse will be. Mags everything will be alright you'll see."

I smile as I nod my head knowing that she's right, but I just don't think I can stand losing Alec… at least not yet.

Cas looks at me, "I know that look I see it all the time when I'm with Arthur. Magnus, think of the best and think of how much you 2 love each other."

"When you did that spell did you know what it'd do?"

"I had no idea. I just wanted to save him and I had no idea what my spell had done. It wasn't until about 50 years later when I ran into him again. I was surprised but so happy. He was in his mid-twenties by then. Though when I saw him again I knew who he was. He had the same scar on his neck that he had all those years ago. It was funny seeing him again I felt as if I had been punched in the gut."

I look at her, "Was it like when you found out you were pregnant?"

She gives me a look, "Both times. I thought there was some kind of screw up or something like in those comics that Arthur loved to read. Mel was dragged into them so I have a feeling we might have to get a special room for it."

"Where do you live anyways?"

"A small country home in Germany or the country home in Canada… I have homes all over the world for a cool writer like me."

Is there anything else that you do?"

She shakes her head, "Nah, though I'm a stingy warlock much like yourself, I like writing and why not make money off it. Quite a bit of money too."

I chuckle, "Maybe I should try that."

"Well, it's a bit hard to deal with since I have to go through a warlock that owns a company and keep changing the name I go by every about 40 or so years."

"That still sounds like you have a lot of fun in doing this, Cas."

"That may be true, but I wish that I had a normal life so I could live with Arthur and Melody. It would be a life that would be filled with riches beyond my imagination all cause I'd have the love that warlocks like us always wish for."

I nod my head, "A life like that would be lovely. A life with Alec and the kids would be something to behold. A gift that I had wished for every day and without much thought I was given. I had spoken so badly of Maryse and other shadowhunters and I find myself in love with one much less a Lightwood."

Cas laughs a little bit as she looks at me. I can tell all her years of sadness is bottled up inside.

"Magnus, I know how you are really. I know the last time I truly spent a lifetime with a mortal lover you went a bit crazy. It was my fault that lover of yours, but she didn't mean to you as much as the young boy you fell in love with when you were younger. The boy with pale skin, dark hair, and eyes bluer than the clearest waters. The boy who had pulled you from the depths of the water and killed him."

I nod my head holding back my tears of the boy who was my first love. A boy who's name I barely remember most days and an image that haunts my dreams. "He was everything that Alec is and Alec is still so much more than he ever was. The boy who saved my life and pulled me from the water. Yet he only died a few months later when someone from the village had him killed all cause he helped me a child of a demon. Now, Cas I believe it's time to take my children to go see their father and hope beyond hope that Alec will pull through."

Cas nods her head, "I'd go with, but I believe I have to fight with my now ex-mother-in-law about my daughter. If you will take Mel with you I don't want that hag near my daughter any more than she needs to be."

"Of course, I'll take her. Boys get ready then we can go to see Daddy."

It's a matter of seconds and the boys are standing in front of me and I chuckle as I look at them.