A/N: We are almost to the end of our short journey. I hope you have enjoyed the ride through my SPN universe. Please review. NC

Chapter 4

It was slow going, but Dean finally made his way up the stairs and to the bathroom. Every part of his body seemed to ache in some form or another. He relieved himself and went to the sink running water until it was hot and filled the sink. He took a wet hand and wiped it across the mirror looking at the face that stared back at him. What he saw was bloodshot eyes, dark circles bruising his skin, unkempt hair, and beard. He looked into the empty, dull eyes that stared back at him with no emotions or feelings. Dean dropped a wash cloth into the water and wrung it out before wiping his sweaty face and neck. He rinsed it and began to wipe the blood from his chest and what he could from his back. He winced as the stitches pulled across his shoulder and decided that was the best he could do for now. He needed to lie down before he fell down. Dean let the water out and limped across the hall to his bedroom.

He carefully sat down on his bed trying not to look at the empty one across from him but his eyes were drawn to it. His chest tightened with the ache he felt and squeezed his eyes shut as he stretched out throwing an arm over his face. He didn't feel the presence of the angel that appeared by his bed.

Castiel looked down upon the human he considered a close friend, family for that matter. He could feel the pain and despair and loss in his mind. He listened closely as Dean mumbled to himself.

"Gotta find ya Sammy...I didn't say that..I swear Sammy I didn't say that..." he mumbled letting his hand fall down and a cell phone drop from it down beside him.

Castiel reached down and picked the phone up turning it over in his hand. He opened it up and found a saved message. He pressed listen and brought it to his ear to listen. He frowned and looked down at the sleeping man as it ended. Being an angel, he could tell this was not Dean's true voice, but the human ear would not be able to discern this.

Now he knew the reason why Sam ran that night and disappeared. He thought Dean saw him as a monster, a freak and would kill him if he saw him again. Castiel put the phone back on the bed and laid a gentle hand on Dean's head as he looked into his mind hunting for the memory. He listened to the true words that Dean had spoken before backing out and straightening up. He pressed two fingers to Dean's forehead and calmed his tortured mind so he could get some rest. He knew it was urgent that Sam be found and told the truth for both the brother's sake. He now understood Dean's need for self harm, he blamed himself for Sam leaving.

spn

The Shaman watched Sam closely as he absently picked at his food deep in thought. She knew the time had come and he would be leaving. She had done all she could for him and now it was his choice to decide what he needed to do. Both of their thoughts were interrupted by the child calling out for her parents. Sam went to the bed and sat down beside her.

"Hey, remember me, I found you in the woods," he said talking gently to her. "This is Sun, she lives here, she's a friend. Can you tell us your name?" he asked as the child looked from one adult to the other.

"Alana," she whispered in a shaky voice.

"That's a beautiful name child. Think you can drink a little broth?" the Shaman asked her bringing a cup over and holding it out to her.

"How old are you?"

"Five, almost six."

Alana accepted the cup and looked into it, smelling it before taking a sip. She wrinkled her nose, but drank a little more while looking at the two adults. Neither seemed threatening and she barely remembered the tall guy taking her from the camp.

"My foster parents?" she asked looking from Sam to Sun waiting for one to say something. She might only be five, almost six, but she was a smart kid and understood much more than most kids her age.

"I'm sorry Alana," Sam said sadly, a look of sorrow on his face. "Do you remember anything about what happened?"

Alana sobbed once and drew in a shaky breath before answering.

"Momma told me to run and hide and stay there until she came for me. I could hear loud growls and screaming and then it got quiet. She never came for me. I was afraid to come out."

"You are a brave child little one," Sun told her.

"So they weren't your real parents?" Sam asked hoping there would be family to take her in.

"No, I'd been with them for about six months. We moved for Daddy's job. I was going to start a new school. It was special because I tested high. Momma said I would make some new friends...We liked to camp when we could...Who's gonna take care of me now? Will I have to go back into the system?" she asked looking soulfully up into Sam's face as tears trickled down her face.

Sam bit his lip as tears blurred his vision when he realized she was all alone with no one to love her or hold her or take care of her. He watched Sun move to the bed and sit down beside her drawing her into her warm embrace as she rocked the child and whispered in her own language to her. Sam's mind began to whirl when it dawned on him, this child had no one and if taken to the police would be put in the system and probably foster care or group home. He knew with her age it would be hard for her to be adopted, since most people wanted babies. The solution was an easy one as far as he was concerned. Who better to care for her than Sun. He watched Sun ease Alana's small form down on the bed and cover her sleeping body.

"Can I talk to you?" Sam asked her stepping away from the bed so not to wake the child.

"What is it man child?"

"The child has no one out there and would end up back in the system. You know there's a better solution here. Why don't you take her in and care for her? It would be like when you were lost and the Shaman took you in. You said she had a strong spirit and I can tell she's smart."

"Do you believe in fate man child?" the Shaman asked looking back to the bed.

"After all I've seen in my life, I guess, but I know its not set in stone and can be changed."

"That it can, I think it is time for you to leave and you know it. You have issues that need to be resolved before you can move forward with your life. There is so much more that you must do, some will be easy, but much will be extremely difficult and seem almost impossible. One thing that I do know is you will need help doing it, you will need family, you will need your brother," she told him placing a hand on his arm for a moment. She looked back in at the child before continuing. "This precious child was put in my path for a reason. I believe she will be the next Shaman to take my place when the time comes."

"Do you think she will be accepted by the ancestors?"

"It will be her choice, I would never force this on anyone. It will be her decision, if she says no, you will take her to the outside world," she explained.

"Why don't we ask her when she wakes up in the morning. I have a feeling I already know her answer," Sam said a small smile on his lips. The Shaman was right, he knew he had to leave. No matter how much he wanted to stay here, this was not where he belonged. It was time for him to find out what happened after the crash. He still didn't know how he would handle his brother if they were to meet. The words from the voicemail were still branded on his brain and he still woke up in a cold sweat at night when he replayed those words. Sam decided after Alana made her choice, he would be leaving this place and from there he wasn't sure.

spn

The Shaman had given Sam a couple of tanned hides and blankets to make a bed in the floor near the door since the child was in his bed. He had been asleep for a while when he sensed movement beside him and reached for the knife he had laying nearby as he jerked up to a sitting position. Alana was standing beside him holding her stuffed dog and looking unsure.

"Hey, sweetie, what is it?" he asked.

"I need to potty," she said quietly.

"C'mon, I'll show you where to go," he said getting up and leading her outside to an outhouse. He waited for her to finish and took her back inside to wash her hands and put her back to bed. "You ready to go back to bed?"

"Will you stay with me?" she asked before getting back in bed.

"What's the matter bad dreams?"

"Yes."

"Alright, let me get in and you climb in beside me," he said getting in the bed and sliding over to make room. Once he was settled, Alana crawled in and snuggled down beside him. Sam fixed the blanket and draped it over their bodies as they both relaxed.

"Sam?" Alana asked.

"What little one?"

"I like Sun, does she have any kids?"

"No, she's lived out here by herself for a long time. You see she's sort of like a Medicine Woman, a Shaman for the tribe."

"You think she might let me stay with her? I wouldn't be any trouble and I don't eat much," she said earnestly.

"Well Alana, Sun was going to ask if you wanted to stay with her in the morning. I think its going to make her very happy that you wanna stay."

"I'm glad," she said hugging her dog tightly and capturing Sam's arm too. "You seem sad."

"I'm going to be leaving soon, it makes me sad, but I can't stay."

"Then it's good that I'm going to be staying then. She won't be alone."

"I have to say, you're very smart for your age. Why don't you go on back to sleep?"

"Okay," she replied closing her eyes.

spn

Sam woke up to the sound of humming and looked down to see the tousled head of Alana sticking out from under the blanket still curled into his side. He eased his arm from her loose grasp and slipped out of the bed without waking her. He stretched and headed outside to use the outhouse and wash up. He headed back inside to talk with Sun.

"Good morning man child," Sun greeted him as she prepared their breakfast of mash, fresh fruit and hot tea.

"Good mornin'," Sam replied accepting a cup of hot tea and sipping it.

"The child still asleep?"

"Yes, she was exhausted, but Alana did talk to me last night. She asked if she could stay with you."

"That is good, I am pleased," Sun said smiling softly, pleased with the news.

"I figure I'll be heading out tomorrow, it's time," he told her staring down into his cup sad about the news.

"I know man child. So today we will celebrate your time here and your leaving."

"Hey baby girl," Sam said when he saw Alana standing nearby. "Are you hungry?"

Alana shook her head yes and moved closer to them watching Sun as she moved around the fire and table.

"Here you go child, sit down. Sam gathered this fruit a few days ago and this is like oatmeal," Sun said sitting two bowls in front of Alana.

"It's really good if you put some fruit in it," Sam whispered to her as he spooned some fruit into his. He watched Alana do the same and stir it before taking a bite. She smiled at both of them and continued to eat her breakfast.

"So child, Sam told me you might like to stay with me, is that true?" Sun asked the child as they ate their breakfast.

"Yes, since you have no one and I have no one...I thought we could keep each other company," Alana said looking over to Sun and then to Sam.

"Well child, I would be honored if you stay with me."

"I want to," Alana said happily as she finished her meal and sipped on the tea.

"Alright then, let's finish up and while the child and me clean up, Sam you need to go take a good bath, soak in the hot water for at least twenty minutes. You need to cleanse your body of all impurities, then we can begin the ritual."

"Alright," Sam said getting up and snagging his worn jeans on the way to the hot spring to do as ask. He was going to change out of his leather pants and into jeans thinking they would be more comfortable. He grabbed a couple of towels and quickly stripped before stepping into the pool and submersing himself. He dunked his head to wet his long hair and began to rub the homemade shampoo through it washing it good. He continued with his body and then moved to sit on the step to relax, shutting his mind down as he let his body soak to pull out the toxins. He kept track of the time in his head and when twenty minutes were up got out and dried off feeling like a prune from the soaking. He towel dried his hair and pulled it back with the leather string. Once he had the towels spread out to dry, Sam headed back to the structure to see what Sun had been doing.

"Good, you're done. Sit down here man child and remove your shirt," Sun told him when he walked back inside. She motioned him to a chair by the table that had bowls of liquid on it.

Alana hovered nearby intently watching Sun's every move. Sun moved to light a bowl of herbs, spices and sweet oil filling the room with a sweet, earthy aroma. Sun stepped to Sam and used her fingers to dip into a bowl and paint streaks on Sam's face. She did the same to Alana and then herself. Once she was satisfied, she washed her hands and picked up a reed brush and a different bowl, thicker and darker.

"Hold your head to the side and don't move," Sun said waiting for him to comply.

Sam tilted his head to the left and used his hand to hold it in place. Sun began to chant in the ancient one's language as she started to draw intricate patterns and symbols on his neck and extending it down and across his shoulder to halfway down his bicep. She continued the chant throughout the process, touching up a couple of places before stepping back and studying it. Alana stood by Sam's knees and got up on her tiptoes to look at it.

"This will sting a little man child," she told him as she placed one hand, with fingers spread, on his neck and shoulder and the other on his arm covering most of the pattern. Sue began to huff and grunt and chant louder as she tightened her grip on his neck and arm.

Sam couldn't see what she had etched on his body, but remained still as the area began to tingle and sting slightly and grow warm. He could see what looked like glowing under her hands until there was a sudden hot pinch and then nothing. Sun's voice softened and it was like she was praying now until she looked up and smiled at Sam.

"It is done, you are now under the protection of the People and any who see the marking will know you are one of us. It will ward against evil being done to you. If you should need help, any one of the tribe will help."

"Thank you Shaman, I am honored that you chose me to receive this," Sam said reverently.

"You have earned it man child."

"Do you like it?" Sam asked Alana picking her up and sitting her in his lap.

"Yes, there are so many different symbols and designs running through it."

"You can see them?"

"Yes, can't you?"

"We will walk you to the border and get you headed in the right direction," Sun told him as she cleaned up the paints. "You will head south for about two days depending on how fast you can hike. You will find a small trail and will need to head west for a day and half. You will find a larger trail and will need to go south again and you will end on the outskirts of a town. Go to the General Store and ask for Mace, he will help you with transportation to where you want to go. I'll write it down before you leave."

"Sounds good to me. I'll head out at dawn."

"I'll prepare you a pack with water and jerky and dried fruit to take with you."

"You're leaving already?" Alana asked sadly.

"Afraid so little one, I've been here for a while now but it's time for me to go. I have some things I need to do."

"I'm gonna miss you," she said hugging him tightly.

"Me too," he smiled hugging her back.

"Are you two ready to go pick some wild grapes and crab apples?" Sun asked the two children.

"You ready?" Sam asked Alana.

"Yes!" Alana cried happily jumping down and accepting a basket from Sun.

Sam laughed at her and picked up his own basket following the women out of the shelter and into the woods. After living in the area for so long, Sun knew all the good places to gather the fruits of the forest. Sam had already decided that he would be coming back next year in the spring to help them out and be sure she had plenty of wood and meat to dry and smoke for the upcoming year.

spn

Dean pulled into the outskirts of Marshalltown, Iowa, driving slowly looking for a motel. He had found a case that sounded like a vengeful spirit and was here to check it out. He had left Bobby's several weeks ago when things started closing in on him. He couldn't be there, every where he turned were things that reminded him of his brother.

He had thrown himself into the job when no leads panned out on Sam. After they lost his trail in the woods, Dean didn't know what to do next. He used all his sources and then some but no one could find a trace of him anywhere. Not even Castiel could find out anything about what happened to Sam. He pulled into a useable motel and got out to get a room so he could start looking into the strange deaths happening in the town.

The room suited his needs even if it did have two full size beds in it. Even after the time that had passed, he couldn't seem to break the habit. He dropped his bags on one bed and sat down on the other drawing in a deep breath as he rested his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands feeling exhaustion sweep over him.

He had been living on caffeine, Jack, too little sleep, and occasional fast food since it seemed hopeless in finding his brother. He couldn't do anything until morning so he reached over into one of the bags and pulled a bottle of whiskey from it. Dean looked at it for a moment before uncapping it and bringing it to his lips to swallow several mouths fulls before taking a breath. He felt the whiskey burn all the way down to his stomach and spreading out through his body. He took another swallow hoping to numb his mind enough to maybe sleep without the bad dreams that plagued him. He unlaced his boots and kicked them off before stretching out on the bed, not bothering to change clothes. Morning would be here soon enough and he would begin the hunt.

spn

"Here you go man child, this should sustain you until you find your way," the Shaman told him holding out a pack and water skin.

"Thank you," Sam replied accepting the two items.

"Give these to Mace, it will explain your situation and my request for his help," she continued holding out a folded piece of paper and a small leather drawstring bag. Sam took them and stored them in his jacket pocket for safe keeping. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes."

"Alana child, shall we guide him out?" the Shaman asked the child holding out her hand to her.

"I'm ready," Alana answered quietly.

The Shaman headed into the woods followed by Alana and with Sam in the rear watching their back. They moved quietly through the forest following a path that only the Shaman seemed to see. It was just after lunch when she stopped in a small clearing looking around for a moment and turned to Sam.

"This is where we part ways man child, here are the directions, head due south from here and you will find the trail," the Shaman told him handing him a paper. "Be safe and listen to your heart, it will lead you," she said laying a hand on his chest over his heart. "It will never steer you wrong."

"Thank you Sun for all you've done for me, healing me, helping me, training me..." Sam started before pulling her into his embrace and blinking away the tears. "You saved my life and for that I can never repay you," he whispered to her.

"You have repaid me," she said looking down to the child by her side.

"Alana, you take care of yourself and mind Sun," Sam said kneeling down beside her to hug her as she threw her arms around his neck to hug him back. "Don't worry, I'll be back to see you two when spring comes back around," he told her wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Promise?" she asked.

"I promise," he said solemnly. "Pinky promise."

"Pinky promise," she said hooking her pinky with Sam's and giving him a small smile.

"Take care, both of you," Sam said with a final wave as he headed off in the direction Sun told him. He set a steady pace through the forest wanting to get as far as he could before darkness fell. He was going to have to rough it out here until he found the town. He kept an eye on the sun to be sure he stayed on track heading south. Sam stayed alert for any dangers knowing the forest could be deadly if not respected.

spn

Three days later Sam stepped out of the forest and could see the outline of buildings not too far down the road. He paused to quench his thirst and rest for a moment before continuing his journey. He pushed off from the rock he was sitting on and headed for the town and to find the General Store and the person called Mace. He shouldered the pack and began to walk on the side of the road toward the town. Sam was going to have to train himself to be around people again after all this time of only being around Sun.

Sam opened the door to the General Store and stepped in looking around the place at the merchandise. It had a little bit of everything from clothes to hardware to groceries to camping supplies to gardening supplies and seeds. He walked toward the counter and a middle aged woman standing behind it.

"Hi, I'm looking for Mace," Sam asked politely.

The woman looked at Sam for a moment before heading through a swinging door into a back room. Sam waited patiently by the counter and looked up when the woman came back out followed by an older man. He stopped at the counter and eyed Sam suspiciously before he spoke.

"Can I help you? I'm Mace," he asked in a deep voice.

"Yes, I was told to give this to you," Sam said pulling out the folded paper and leather pouch placing them on the counter.

Mace picked up the paper and unfolded it so he could read it. He looked back up at Sam before continuing to read the note. He picked up the pouch and opened the top to glance inside before looking up again at Sam.

"Is everything okay?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Come with me," he told Sam heading back through the swinging doors not waiting to see if Sam was following.

Sam scurried after him unsure what was going on and followed him into the storeroom and back to a corner where an office was. He stepped into the office and watched him sit down at a desk.

"The Shaman says you are family now and wants me to help you."

"She saved my life."

Mace turned in his chair and opened a filing cabinet to unlock a lockbox and reached in removing something. He turned back around to Sam before he spoke.

"Take this so you can continue in your journey," he said holding out money to him.

"No, no, I can't take that," Sam said shaking his head.

"It's fine, the Shaman sent payment. She wanted you to have it."

"Thank you," Sam replied accepting the money without looking at it. "Is there a bus station around here?"

"Yes, on the other side of town on Gordon Street, take a right when you go out the door and go to the second stop sign take a left three blocks down and Gordon is on the right."

"Thanks," Sam said nodding to him before turning to leave.

"If you need anything else, let me know."

"I will."

Sam left the General Store and followed his directions to the bus station. He went inside to get a ticket to Sioux Falls only to find out the next bus heading that way didn't leave until one pm the following day and he was going to have to change buses a couple of times along the way. He pulled a hundred dollar bill from his pocket and bought a ticket to the next city where he would have to change buses and asked where the nearest motel was deciding to get a room and clean up and get some rest.

He had passed a thrift store a block away and was going to see if they had any jeans and a couple of shirts he could wear. Sam hurried out of the bus station feeling there were too many people in there than he could handle right now. It was going to take him a while to get use to people again. He headed for the thrift store and found jeans, shirts, socks and even a pair of boots that fit and were in good shape. Sam didn't know how much money Mace gave him and wanted to wait until he was alone to check. He paid for his purchases and spotted a drug store a half a block away thinking he could get the other things he needed. Sam went in and found briefs, tooth brush and paste, small bottles of shampoo and deodorant and a brush to comb his hair with. Once he decided he had everything, he continued on down toward the motel. He still had bread and jerky to eat and wasn't ready for the greasy food yet. The motel was small but looked cleaned so he got a single on the ground floor for one night.

spn

The room was small but useable, Sam thought as he dropped his bag and pack onto the full size bed. He pulled the folded money from his pocket and spread it out on the bed and begin to count it. With what he had spent added to it he had been given a thousand dollars in hundred dollar bills. Sam started at the money in shock not sure what the Shaman had given to Mace that he would give him this much money.

He stared at it for several minutes before shuffling all but one hundred dollar bill and the change from another together and folded it back up storing it in his inside jacket pocket that had a zipper so it would be safe. He took a couple of dollars and went back out to the vending machine near his room and bought a soda. He hadn't drunk one since before he was locked in the panic room by Dean. That all seemed like so long ago now.

Sam headed back to his room and decided he needed a shower. He dug out his purchases from the drug store and went into the small bathroom hoping it at least had good water pressure. He stripped out of his stinky clothes and turned the water on adjusting the temperature before stepping under the hot spray and letting it beat on his face for a moment before turning and holding his head back to wet his long hair so he could wash it. It felt good to wash away the sweat and grim of the last three days hike out of the forest.

After washing his body, he stood under the spray and just let it beat on his shoulders for a while then turned the water off and picked up a towel to dry his body before using it to towel dry his hair. He stepped to the sink and wiped a hand across the steamed mirror to look at his reflection. The person that stared back at him was not the same person who crawled away from that wreck months ago.

His hair was past his shoulders and he had a full beard. His skin was tanned a bronze and his body was muscular and lean. He was in the best shape he had been since his youth. His stomach was flat and he had six pack abs. He brushed his hair before stepping back into the room to open up his new briefs and slipping a pair on. He pulled on a tee shirt then moved his things from the bed so he could lie down. Sam was tired and wanted to get a few hours of sleep before check out time tomorrow. After turning and tossing and wiggling around on the bed trying to get comfortable, Sam pulled the thick comforter from the bed and folded it several times before positioning it in the floor. He took a pillow and blanket and settled on the bed he had made, now able to relax and drifted off to sleep.

spn

Dean pulled into the parking lot of a bar a few miles from his motel deciding he needed a drink after vanishing the vengeful spirit. He was limping slightly and was pretty sure his body would be black and blue tomorrow from being thrown around by the spirit before he got the bones torched. He parked under one of the outside lights in the lot and checked his cell to see if he had any messages from anyone about Sam.

Even after all this time, he had not given up on his brother. Sam was out there somewhere and he was going to find him. He got out of the Impala and headed for the front door. He stepped into the dimly lit bar room and quickly gave the room a hunter's scan before making his way to the end of the bar where he could see who came and went. He pulled money from his pocket and ordered a beer and Jack from the bartender. A mug and shot glass were sat in front of him as the bartender turned to help other customers. Dean looked at the drinks before picking up the shot and throwing his head back to gulp it down, then followed it with a couple swallows of beer. He decided since the room was paid for, for one more night he might as well use it before heading back to Sioux Falls. He motioned for another shot and waited for his glass to be filled again. Dean didn't see any reason why he shouldn't numb his mind before heading back to the motel. There wasn't anyone around to stop him, so he continued to drink his pain away.