Patrick's POV
Brad had me pressed up against the door, his lips pressed on my neck and his hand groping my crotch, even though I knew it should feel good, it didn't. Lately it hasn't felt good at all, my body only reacts because of the caress. Every time I shut my eyes I see here brown blue iris', her sweet smile and I can almost smell her lavender shampoo. I groaned just thinking of her, Brad took it as he thought I was groaning at him, I wish he didn't. It wasn't fair. Even if he had to hide how he really felt with men. I'm starting to think Sam was right at the beginning of summer, I'm bisexual instead of pure gay. It weighs heavy on my shoulders, knowing she's right but wanting to not hurt the one man who liked me like how he does. Just as I was getting close, god it felt good thinking it was her, I felt him unzipping my jeans. No, I wasn't ready for that. I pushed him off and he looked shocked.
"Why did you stop me?" he asked.
"I'm not ready for that." I said. 'I don't want to make love to you. You're not her.' I thought.
"We've been fooling around for a year, I'm ready, hell I've been waiting for this for a year. Just get over it." He said. He went to finish unzipping me when I pushed him so roughly, he fell and hit his head on the nightstand. He didn't black out, thankfully, but he was royally pissed. Instead of going after me though, he stood up, pushed me away from the door and walked out, promptly slamming the door. I sat on the bed, head in my hands and started to cry. Not because my heart hurt, it was because he just wanted no more than a fuck rather than love. I wiped my eyes on my sweater and pulled out my smartphone, logging onto messenger. She wasn't online but I sent her a message anyway. I calmed down enough to leave my room and go downstairs. Sam was talking to Alice and Mary-Elizabeth, Sam saw me and waved. I waved back and went to the front door, I picked up my keys from the bowl and left. I got into my car, started it up and went to see the woman I wanted to see more than ever.