Sorry this is being posted a tad past midnight, ET. Hey, for the folks west of me, it's still Friday! ;)
Thanks to my betas and patrons and everybody who reads, especially those who leave kudos and comments. I love feedback!
Our schedule wasn't so different in the Berkshires from what it had been in the rainforest. Most days, we woke early and had a quick breakfast before she drove me over to the center to teach my morning yoga class. Once in awhile she joined the class, and I had to work a little harder to focus on what I was doing. It was a trip, just wanting to grin like an idiot as she moved into poses. She was improving her form, but it didn't matter if she got it right. She could have fallen right over and I'd still think she was brilliant and beautiful. I'd really have to restrain myself from envisioning what other kind of poses we might get up to that night. My yoga outfits did little to hide it if a rosy flush crept up my chest.
I'd do whatever classes and appointments I'd scheduled, and either I'd have lunch with the gang at the center, or she'd come by with something local and yummy she'd picked up. We'd sit out in the sun and look at the trees and mountains... well, we'd kind of look at them. Mostly, our eyes were drawn to each other.
We talked, too. Things we had learned or read about. Things we didn't know about each other, and there were plenty of them. For two people so in love we really hadn't had a lot of time together. The rainforest, the volcano and these mountains, they were the places we'd finally been able to really communicate. It felt great, but a little funny, sometimes. When we first met, we spent so much time reacting to our circumstances, to the totally crazy clone shit that we were immersed in, stuff that literally became about life or death. My emotions were all over the place from constantly being blindsided and never knowing what or who to trust. Eventually, it all became too much. Maybe if she'd been more apologetic, or bolder… maybe if I had been more certain, more faithful, less hurt… maybe I wouldn't have left with Shay. But that's what happens when so much drama goes on. It was amazing, really, that we'd had the time and the love we'd had, considering everything that was going on. Now we had a chance to normalize it, to deepen our understanding, to really explore and evaluate what this connection between us was, and who we really were at the core, essentially.
But how could I be bitter for lost years when having her with me again, now, was so wonderful?
Anyway, what we did after that depended on my evening schedule. I might have another class before she'd pick me up for dinner, or, like on orientation night, I might have a dinner to attend. After that, it was back to the b&b and what most people do on a romantic getaway. We made love a lot, but also cuddled and just enjoyed each other's company. She was reading Oliver Sacks and I was reading about the intersection of physics and energetic healing, and we'd stop once in awhile to read each other a particularly interesting passage. She took in all my quotes and comments with wide, serious eyes, like she was dedicating herself to hearing and being open to it all, because it was me who said it.
One particular day I had nothing scheduled after lunch, so I emerged from the main building to find her leaning against the car, a smile on her face as I approached her.
"What," I asked, feeling myself break into a grin in return.
"Just you," she said softly, and gave me a gentle kiss. Ugh. The warm tingles.
She drove us out to a small lake and grabbed a cooler out of the back seat, holding her hand out behind her until I took it. She headed into the woods and we walked a little while, following a gentle, climbing and curving trail marked by green blazes. We didn't say much. Being together there on that beautiful day was enough. When we reached a small plateau near the top she spread out a blanket for us, and took out the food. There were grapes, and cheese, and a couple well-stuffed falafel sandwiches, but her her eyes sparkled as she pulled out two bottles.
"Look what I found," she smiled, with that crinkle around her eyes, and held them out. I made a little "oh" as I looked. It was the same brand of coconut water I had been hoarding at the rainforest retreat.
"Oh, wow, nice. You're adorable," I told her, and she was.
"Sooo," I began after we'd eaten and were sitting shoulder to shoulder, taking in the view, a few trees nudging toward their Autumn colours early. "How close are you to being ready for the semester?"
"Mm, very close. You know when I set my mind to something I can do it quickly."
"Yeah, and safer than I ever did," I acknowledged. "I'd probably try crowdsourcing my class plans and syllabus and then at the last minute substituting in what I wanted. Come to think of it, crowdsourcing education can have a lot of benefits…" I was going off on one of my little side trips, again.
"Yes, but then I would probably be out of a job," she chuckled. "I love how your mind works. I always have." We both smiled and she nuzzled by my ear with her nose.
"Yeah, it's my emotions you gotta watch out for," I half-joked, feeling a twinge over how things had gone between us in the past, then reminding myself how well they were going in the present. I drew a breath.
"So, how would you, uh, like to come to Woodstock and meet the boys," I asked her. "The older ones are dying to meet you, and Sevvy, well… I want you try to meet each other, because I'm hoping to see a lot more of both of you."
She caught her breath and held it a moment to avoid letting out a sob. Her eyes were full of tears, but her smile was luminous.
"Yes," she said, her voice full of emotion. "Thank you. I would like that very much." I couldn't help grinning back at her, and we shared a long, deep kiss, punctuated by a few stray tears.
"And I, there's something I wanted to ask you," she said, as we eased apart. She held one of my hands in hers, playing with my fingers a little bit. I gave her an open look.
"Would you consider… coming with me to France, around the holidays? You could meet my sister…" She was still smiling as she bit her lip. Neither of us took anything for granted, now.
"Well, I'd have to work out the dates. You know, as much as we try to raise him in a non-religious, multi-ethnic, consumerism-skeptical kind of way, Sevvy still gets really excited for Christmas," I explained. "I'll have to be with him on the day, but if we can do a work-around…" I swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in my throat. "Fuck, yeah. I'd be so honoured."
And there it was. We were both putting trust in each other, pulling each other into our lives that had been so singular and separate. This was a luxury, to have time, space and peace enough to do what normal people do every day. This was a huge milepost in our relationship, or kilometer-post, depending on how you look at it. Ha, but seriously, I think we were both a little dizzy and dazzled by finally getting there. We shared a tight, lasting hug, and a few soft kisses.
"God, I love you," I told her.
"Je t'aime," she whispered, and my heart filled with stars.