Hey, look! I got this up while it was still Friday night in my area, this time. It's like a Christmas Miracle!

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"Fuckin' hell, Cosima!" yelled my British sister, with her usual tone that could indicate anything from anger to joy to boredom. "How have you been? It's been long enough, yeah?" Okay, it wasn't anger, then.

"Hey, Sarah." Despite being nervous, I couldn't help but smile saying her name. We had started out as improbable, wildly different doppelgangers, gone through the shit and come out true sisters. It didn't hurt that Kira was doing fantastic at college, and my chronically touchy clone actually had had a steady boyfriend for a little while. That, and the last few times we'd seen each other in person I'd gotten us fantastically baked. The bottom line was, however much time went by and cranky Sarah was feeling, we supported each other at the base of it all.

"Yeah, I've been traveling around doing my gigs, y'know?" I continued.

"Spreadin' that yogi-bear energy, n' shite, yeah?" She always amused herself with this nickname for me. Every once in awhile I was still "the geek monkey," but once she had arrived on a more up-to-date annoying moniker, she teased me with it any chance she got.

"Yeah, you know. How's life out there?"

"Good, can't really complain. I mean, Nate fuckin' broke the motorcycle again, but what's new with that? Fee called me a couple days ago. Turns out that group show went really well. He thinks he might have a shot on getting a solo in that gallery. Probably after shagging the owner, but don't let him hear I told you that."

I couldn't help but chuckle. Alison may have been right that Sarah had mellowed somewhat, but she still had that gruff, teasing delivery on lock.

"Well, either way I hope it works out for him," I said. "The life of the struggling artist has always been his point of pride, right? I totally get it. But I think maybe he feels it's getting old at this point. Believe me, I know what it's like to have outstanding loans with your sisters."

"I told you should've hit me up for more," she answered, and I could hear her smirk. "You'll never hear the end of it with Alison."

"Ha, she's alright," I told her. "She's a mama bear like you; she's just more vocal about it."

"Take that back," Sarah mock-shouted, and we both had a laugh.

"So, what about you, Sar?" I asked her more seriously. "Had to bail anyone out lately?" She snorted.

"Yeah. Two of the kids in The CockBlockers got picked up last week for assault and possession, but it was no big deal." Sarah had become a promoter, manager and mother hen in the local music community. In a way, it was like she was following Mrs. S's footsteps. She knew what kind of trouble street kids with a chip on their shoulder could get into, and curse-ridden tough love had become her speciality. It also gave her a way to blow off her steam sometimes. She may have loved being able to finally provide Kira with a relatively stable life, but just being a stay-at-home mom or having a more normal job might drive her crazy.

"Have you been hearing from Helena?" I asked. 'Any new stuff from Kira?"

"Helena and the kids are fine. She still brags every time she doesn't cripple some guy with an attitude in that self-defense class. The kids are into NASCAR, now. Whatever. And Kira, well, you know, she's bloody great, right? Top of her class. She's got these friends there now and they do tutoring and volunteer work. Not even past her teens yet and she's already takin' other kids under her wing. She is… amazing, you know? And it's all down to her, because she had a pretty shite childhood there, for a while."

"Hey, she got lots of love from you, her dad, Siobhan, Fee… and then she got several aunties who love her. Sure, it was weird, and you went through some difficulties for a while, but you came back and kicked ass, like a real hero, and then you made a real life for her. Don't be so hard on yourself." This was one thing that still lingered for Sarah: her wish she had done things "better," somehow, that she had been there for Kira the whole time. She sighed on the other end of the line and my heart went out to her. "You miss her, huh?" I prompted gently. She was quiet for a moment, probably trying to pull herself together.

"Yeah, yeah I do," she finally answered. "So much. It's like, she was my world, yeah? And now the house just seems so empty."

"Shit," I said.

"Yeah. Nate was afraid I was gonna go on a bender for a couple weeks after she left, but I talk with her on the computer and I'm staying busy with the band kids. She's doing so well there… and that makes me happy and excited for her. My daughter in college, yeah? That's what keeps me from gettin' too down. She's happy, so missing her is, like, worth it this time."

"Yeah. I know what you mean," I acknowledged. "Knowing that Sevvy has had great parents and a good life has made it easier to be away from him, when I have to be. But… speaking of that, I, uh, I'm thinking of getting a place here and not travelling so much so I can spend more time with him." I nibbled my lip, waiting for her reaction, wondering what she'd say to my other news.

"Really, Cos? The prodigal clone daughter finally thinks she's safe settlin' down? That's somethin' else." I chuckled at her teasing, not bothering to correct her on the definition of "prodigal." I got what she meant.

"Yeah, well, I've been on the move a long time, and you guys seem to be doing okay," I acknowledged.

"We have, but…" She paused, and I could tell what she'd say next would be serious. "I've felt kind of crappy for how it turned out for you, Cos. We were all so terrified, and you were in the worst position, being sick n' all. What you did for yourself, what you did for all our sisters, finding a cure and bringing it to as many of them as you could… There was a time I felt I was doin' almost everything, and the weight was on my shoulders, especially with Kira and not wanting to lose you." She sighed again. Every once in awhile Sarah would get serious like this and thank me, telling me how much she cared about me and what I'd done. It was always sweet, but sometimes it got a little awkward. She didn't express these kind of feelings often except with Kira, and it felt almost like she was trembling at the edge of something every time.

"You were doing a lot, Sarah. You know no one else had the strength back then to do the things you did… or, you know, the reckless pig-headedness," I teased her.

"Or the the lack of smarts to keep doing 'em," she chuckled back. "And I suppose I should be jealous of you. Been around the bloody world, you have, taking drugs and sleeping with extra limber women."

I couldn't help but let out a full belly laugh at that, but as we quieted, I decided to take the plunge.

"Some of it has been fun. Um, something happened on the latest retreat I went to in Costa Rica," I bumbled a bit. "I, uh, I found someone I hadn't seen in a long time." I took a breath.

"Well it can't be that redhead, then, 'cause she was at the last job, right? Shame," she deadpanned.

"No, why does everyone always think— nevermind," I recovered. "No, uh, it was Delphine, Sarah." She didn't make a sound on the other end. "Delphine Cormier."

"I know who bloody Delphine is," she countered, then lowered her voice, almost as if having to hide and run all the time had come back to her. "So… how'd that go, then?"

"It went… it was amazing, Sar. We got time to really talk about what went on back then, what happened with our relationship—"

"Did you tell her everything? Did you tell her about Mika?" Sarah's voice was sharp, tense. She still had suspicions, it was clear.

"No. No, of course not. I'd never do that without consulting with you and her. Although it's possible she got that information from the government… but from what she said of her time there, I seriously doubt it."

"Hm," she grunted. She didn't add more, so I counted to ten and then forged onward.

"We worked things out," I told her. "We're together again. It's… it's been a few weeks, now, and um… I really love her, Sar. All this time I tried to tell myself it wasn't meant to be, while in the back of my mind I felt nobody else I saw could compare. And she loves me, too. It's like… it's like how it could have been if things hadn't gone so batshit, y'know? It's like a second chance."

Her next words came out a little stilted, and I wasn't sure exactly what she was feeling, beyond shock.

"Always so bloody romantic. So, what are you gonna do?" she asked.

"Well, I want to be close to Sevvy, and I want to be close to her, so I'm trying to find someplace around here or there or in between that I could, well set up house a guess. Live in regularly."

"With her?" Sarah's voice came out even more low this time, seeming unsure, a little twisted, like she was trying to swallow her own words.

"I don't know. I was thinking on my own, at first, but now I'm thinking… maybe." She was still quiet, but unlike with Alison it seemed edgier, somehow. When Sarah got hurt or angry it took time and more than a polite apology to get her to talk to you again. There was always the threat of her temper getting away from her, of her doing something hurtful, poorly thought out, or self destructive. She dealt with things better than she once did, but for some reason, in this situation I felt much more worried than I'd been with her in a long time. It's okay, you both have an unusual and difficult past, I told myself. It's okay to love her and want her blessing, but she's on her own path and if she isn't accepting, that doesn't mean you have to change things. It would have to blow over after some time, anyway, right? Still, I felt compelled to state my case.

"The guys love her," I told Sarah softly, "and she's so good with Severo—"

"You took her to meet Sevvy?" Sarah interrupted me sharply, then I heard her take another deep breath. "Jesus Christ, Cos…" she added, her voice less harsh this time.

"Yes," I told her, "and it went really well. They really clicked, and I've made the decision that I want us to be able to spend much more time together." I didn't say as a family, and I knew it was because I didn't want to push my volatile sister further, but also maybe because I was still working things out inside myself, too. There was a long enough pause that I worried.

"Well, uh, Cos," she finally responded, "I guess it's your decision… if you think it's safe." She cleared her throat. "I mean, it was always obvious how you felt about her."

This is okay, I thought, this sounds fairly positive, if not totally forthcoming or unconditional.

"Cos," she said finally, "is this really what you want? Do you trust her?"

I didn't hesitate.

"Yeah, sis. Yeah, I do."

There was a bit of noise on her end of the line that I figured was probably her pacing, pushing her hand through her hair, having to use up some of the energy that was so connected to her emotions. After all, in different ways, we both had that trait.

"Well, then," she let out a held breath, "If that's how you feel. I mean, she was your monitor and worked for Leekie… she even got Kira taken by Rachel, even if it was an accident. But, I guess she did some good things for us, too. Even after you were gone. I don't know what to think, and I know sometimes you've been boneheaded in the past. So have I. But I'm not gonna second guess your heart." I smiled at this, warmed by our love and respect for each other.

"Just… be careful, yeah? I really want you to be happy, sestra." We both let out tiny chuckles at that term. "And keep me in the loop, okay? You know I've always got your back." I could tell she was still unsettled, unsure, but she was doing her best to support me, despite her doubts. "And listen, no going to visit Kira with her or anything unless you get my say-so, alright?" This slightly irritated me, but it was fair.

"Alright, alright," I promised. "You've got it, mama bear." She let out a little snort at that one. "We can talk more in the future. Maybe you can personally vet her yourself, sometime."

"Yeah, maybe. It would be good to see you sometime, yogi bear."

Maybe she hadn't given us her blessing, but she gave me her sisterhood, and that was more than enough.